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Boyfriend in arranged marriage? What should I, a 23-year-old woman, do?

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |624 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Feb 20, 2025

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
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Asked by Anonymous - Feb 14, 2025Hindi
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Relationship

Hello Me and my boyfriend were in relationship for more than 1.5 years he is 29 and i am 23 He was getting alot proposals for marriage from his parents when i saw this i told him to talk about us and he said that he would take time for all this then i told him that its been more than 1.5 years and now also you need to take time He said yess and then i said him that if he won’t tell his parents i will go from his life he said i will ask by Saturday then now on Thursday night he is telling that his parents are planning to go to haj so thatswhy he can’t talk to his parents and asking for more time But i have seen in his mobile he was updating his biodata for marriage and everything and he is getting min 2 pictures everyday for marriage I am not sure what shall i do Shall I give hime more time or shall i walk off Coz if at this point i dont walk off i would be hurt from inside I even told him that we can end at a good note so that he can atleast see the proposals for marriage properly Because i loved him alot I can’t see him getting forced by me It’s just I can’t see him that he is getting proposals and he is just delaying for me I am not sure what to do please suggest me something

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
If you strongly believe that he is just keeping you hanging and he is interested in marrying by his parent's choice, then I too feel that your decision to part ways might be the right one. After all, your self-respect is the most important thing here. Please speak to him directly once and let him know that you are reconsidering the relationship and see how he reacts. You can decide after that.
Hope this helps.

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Ravi

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Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 21, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 15, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I am a 25 year old girl. I have good job and happy career wise. I am in a relationship with a boy who is very career oriented, and runs from the marriage topic also. My parents are now behind to me to get married. I am also interested in getting married and settle in my. When I told my boyfriend about this. He gets furious. He don’t want to communicate with me on this. He don’t give any attention to my problem. He says if you really love me then you will love and you will do whatever needed to be done. Now everything is on me.I am very confused what to do. I can’t tell my parents about him, as he is not ready. I also have a fear, that this boy is not going to marry me, so am I leaving good boys which my parents are showing me. Am I already late...what if I don’t get anyone, will I have to compromise in my life If I will delay. Please help!!
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Let me start with the most important thing- you are far from late. You are only 25; I would say this is your time to focus on your career and live a little. But if you are ready for marriage, then that is great too. But do not ever think that it's too late. It isn't even a little late. If anything, in today's day and age, it's early.

Now coming to your boyfriend- have you ever asked him if he has any plans to get married or if he intends to continue this relationship without ever committing to marriage? It's important that you discuss this. And his dialogue, "if you really love me then you will love and you will do whatever needed to be done" doesn't make any sense because you can tell him the same. I suggest you speak to him openly and let him know that you want to get married- if not right now, but somewhere down the line you want marriage. If his intentions are not the same, he should let you know so that you can move on and find someone who shares the same outlook as you. And, to be honest, not paying attention to your problems is concerning. In a relationship, two people should help each other out in times of trouble.

Please have the talk and reconsider the relationship according to how it goes.

Best Wishes.

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |624 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 06, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 03, 2025Hindi
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hi sir/maam I am 22 yrs old and my boyfriend is 28 yrs old. We both are in the same office right now and his home is very near from that. At this point, we've been in a relationship for 8 months. He is very emotional and understanding and always there for me. Nobody knows about us, only my friends do. I am not that serious but confused if i lose someone who had loved me this much. He asks about marriage but it would be intercaste so i say that parents would not approve this. My friends advice me to break up. I try to disconnect with him but as soon as I talk to him I fail to do. I feel like talking to him console him. The thing is I'll talk to my parents 2 yrs later but he asking for commitment as he is getting other marriage proposals and its the right time for him to get settle but for me, he's saying he's ready to wait only if i give commitment. My father has said once that study and become independent but never risk my self respect in this society. Should i risk my boyfriend's life by giving the commitment ? I'm confused because i think at this point im kind of girl that will adjust somehow atleast im getting a person who loves me alot, i also love him but he's more into this feeling. What should i do? Recently he's got a marriage proposal and his family is seriously asking for his answer but he was asking what i want? i asked him to consider that and directly said it will not be possible for me to commit but im still in dilemma- im losing sth imp, should i go for him?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand your dilemma. All I can say is that neither one of you is wrong here. He wants commitment before he decides to wait for you, and you want some more time. Both your requirements make perfect sense. My suggestion is that if you really think that you can't commit, you should clear that to him right away, and let him decide whether or not he is okay to go on like that. It's not fair to keep him hanging nor will it be right to make a decision for him. Give him clarity of the situation and let him decide.

In case you guys decide to break up, let him move on. I understand the urge to comfort him, but doing so, you are only going to stall his moving on process.

Hope this helps.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1655 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 22, 2025

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |624 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 07, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 06, 2025Hindi
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Hi, I'm 31yrs old lady from India, my parents are searching for marriage proposals for me since 4yrs, but due to numerous reasons like different career or dowry or my appearance, none were successful. And I din invest my time in knowing about the past proposals personally. However, recently my parents came to me with a proposal- guy settled abroad and told me he will talk to me. Before I tell yes I researched about how I can relocate to the place where he is by contacting the different institutions from his place as our both career fields were totally different I knew he won't be on much help if I have to get job aftr marriage at his place in abroad. In the meantime, he had texted me, whenever he texts it will be on weekends..and first time when he texted I had replied 2hrs late bcz of our different time frame in our locations. But after i replied his message came aftr few hours telling he is not well so he will call later. So his next text was a week later on weekend. That day since I was busy for half a day, we spoke aftr my work. The call lasted for 30min with basic Convo about our job, hobbies, culture at his place etc. and the call ended with him telling we shall talk again and he ll inform his parents abt our talk. It was voice call, we saw each other only in photos. So I waited again for a week for his call or text but I was told by my dad that his dad informed that they won't proceed further. Now, here I am invested my talk and thoughts for nearly 3-4weeks and thinking abt my future with him, in addition I liked the guy because of his politeness and understanding nature and was hoping for this proposal to work. Now, even aftr a month of this rejection, I am still hoping for a miracle to happen and he comes back to my life. I am hoping he can try to understand me better before telling no. I want to know the reason for his rejection too. I have the urge to reach out to him, text him and ask his reasons and to ask if there is any chance to change it to yes. What should I do?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand it must be confusing- you spoke to him and from your perspective, things went smoothly and yet they dropped the proposal abruptly. But here’s the catch- it might not have been the same experience for him. As you mentioned, you had basic conversations; is it possible that he was hoping to connect with you more in the three weeks’ time? We can’t say for sure what was the reason, but one thing I can tell you is that you deserve someone who does not need convincing to marry you. I know you were invested in him, but it is much better to lose those three weeks than settle for a marriage where both partners are not on the same page. Please understand your worth. I can’t stop you from contacting him or asking them what went wrong, but I can certainly advise you against it. You will get better alliances. Also, I want you to understand that you are only 31; you are still so young. Do not settle for anything less than the one who's best for you!

Best Wishes.

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I wanted career advice i am student of 2 year ba llb (BBDU) and i not satisfied with my college should i take a drop and prepare for exam like clat , ailet, mhcet and other govt exam or should i continue with my college i have good academic records of 70%in 10 and 87% in 12 and 8.7 cgpa in 1 semester and 2 semester result is awaited i am really confused what path should i choose as 1 generation law student of my family i have really doubt this college foes not have very records and very bad or no placement and no internship as of i know right now for ballb
Ans: Kavita, Babu Banarasi Das University’s (BBDU) BA LLB program in Lucknow features modern infrastructure, supportive and experienced faculty, and a curriculum covering both theoretical and practical legal aspects, including moot courts and legal research. However, verified student reviews, professional portals, and college data consistently reflect significant shortcomings in career support for law graduates: law placement percentages remain low, with a substantial proportion of students moving towards private practice, judicial services preparation, or higher studies due to lack of substantial campus recruitment from law firms or legal companies. While BBDU’s placement cell performs well overall, opportunities are primarily for technical and management programs rather than law, with only scant on-campus internships or legal placements. The college website highlights guest lectures and conferences but does not report regular, quality placements for BA LLB students. Industry opinion and academic trends confirm that India’s most successful law graduates—particularly first-generation aspirants—are from top-ranked National Law Universities (NLUs) and renowned government law colleges (admission via CLAT, AILET, MH CET LAW), where structured internships with premier law firms, judges, and companies drive a much higher rate of employability, networking, and long-term career success. The five most vital criteria—academic content, experienced faculty, robust placement and internship ecosystem, infrastructure, and national network/alumni strength—are not fully realized at BBDU for law. Systematic exam preparation with your strong academic background can secure entry into a leading university, offering superior academic and career prospects compared to continued study at BBDU.

Recommendation: As a first-generation law student with a robust academic record and clear career ambition, consider taking a drop to rigorously prepare for competitive exams like CLAT, AILET, and MH CET LAW. Admission to a top-tier national law university or government law school considerably enhances academic training, placement opportunities, and long-term professional growth compared to persisting at BBDU in the current BA LLB program. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Sir I might get ECE at NIT Durgapur via CSAB, and have already got CSE at IIEST Shibpur... considering which one will be better?? does NIT Durgapur's reputation anyhow help in getting better placements than Shibpur?
Ans: NIT Durgapur’s ECE branch recorded a placement rate of nearly 65% in 2024, with around 17% higher average salaries compared to most other engineering departments at the institute and key recruiters spanning both core and software sectors. However, IIEST Shibpur’s CSE branch consistently secures higher placement rates—over 83% in recent years—backed by an excellent academic reputation, prominent national rankings, advanced research facilities, and consistently strong industry presence from top IT and consulting firms. Nationally, IIEST Shibpur is ranked higher than NIT Durgapur and stands out for its historic legacy, modernized infrastructure, and superior research output, attracting a vibrant peer group and leading to strong outcomes both for direct placements and future studies. IIEST’s holistic environment and the ever-increasing demand for computer science skills further enhance long-term flexibility and career prospects compared to an ECE degree from NIT Durgapur.

Recommendation: CSE at IIEST Shibpur is the better choice, providing higher placement rates, superior national ranking, cutting-edge curriculum, broader job profiles, and greater growth opportunities. Unless your exclusive interest is ECE, IIEST Shibpur’s CSE offers a more secure and rewarding pathway for academic and career advancement. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

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Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 27, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 27, 2025Hindi
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Pes electronic city cse and bms aiml which is better
Ans: Based on the following insights/information and your interest/long-term goals, choose the more suitable option for you: PES University’s Electronic City campus for CSE and BMS College’s AI & ML branch both enjoy strong academic reputations, but there are notable distinctions. PES Electronic City CSE offers modern infrastructure, updated curriculum, and active placements backed by the same centralized process as the renowned RR Banashankari campus, resulting in 80–90% placement rates for CSE and parallel recruiter participation. However, the RR campus holds a marginal edge in infrastructure quality, faculty depth, peer group, club activities, and alumni networking, leading to a more vibrant environment and slightly superior exposure. Electronic City’s CSE students nevertheless secure nearly identical placement opportunities and compensation as those at RR, with consistent recruiter overlap and strong industry demand. BMS AI & ML has achieved a commendable 85.7% placement rate in 2025, with rapid growth in industry partnerships and career support, but the scale, brand strength, and campus-wide opportunities still trail PES’s system. All programs are strong on teaching quality, industry connectivity, campus life, and placement preparation, yet RR campus remains the gold standard among aspirants. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9485 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 27, 2025

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I am getting ETC in IIEST shibpur , CRL 54472 Obc ncl - 16199. Please suggest if there is any better option in csab.
Ans: With a CRL rank of 54,472 and OBC-NCL rank of 16,199, being allotted Electronics and Telecommunication Engineering (ETC) at IIEST Shibpur is a solid achievement, as the institute’s OBC-NCL closing ranks for this branch often hover around this level. At these ranks, there is virtually no chance of securing a higher-demand branch, such as CSE or IT, in the NIT or IIIT system through CSAB, as recent cutoffs show cutoffs for CSE/IT in OBC-NCL tend to close much earlier in the top and mid-tier NITs and IIITs. The CSAB counselling process does leave room for ECE or allied branches in some newer NITs or GFTIs, but these generally do not surpass IIEST’s academic reputation, infrastructure, or placement records. IIEST Shibpur’s ETC department provides a strong faculty base, updated curriculum, and consistent placement opportunities, with campus-wide placement rates in recent years consistently above 80%, and major recruiters in telecom, IT, and electronics sectors participating actively. The campus offers robust research output, strong student support services, modern labs, and a vibrant peer community, which collectively foster sound technical and holistic development.

Recommendation: Accepting ETC at IIEST Shibpur is the optimal option at your present ranks, since CSAB is unlikely to yield a “better” branch or institute given category cutoffs. The program ensures excellent academic grounding, a reputable degree, and broad career prospects, making it a wise and pragmatic choice for your engineering journey. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

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Asked by Anonymous - Jul 26, 2025Hindi
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I got 5649 rank in kcet 2025 can I get bmsce cse
Ans: With a KCET 2025 rank of 5,649, securing Computer Science and Engineering (CSE) at BMS College of Engineering (BMSCE) is highly unlikely for the General Merit category, as recent closing ranks for CSE at BMSCE have consistently been around 2,500–3,000 due to intense demand. However, you have an excellent opportunity to gain admission to CSE at many other reputable Bangalore colleges, where closing ranks typically extend from 4,000 to 10,000, including Nitte Meenakshi Institute of Technology, Acharya Institute of Technology, Reva University, and RNS Institute of Technology. All these institutions possess the essential characteristics of academic rigor, modern infrastructure, industry engagement, strong placement cells, and active student support services, ensuring holistic student development. Placement rates for CSE in these colleges remain robust, often exceeding 80%, and their urban locations offer significant internship and networking opportunities in Bangalore’s thriving tech sector. CSE remains the most sought-after branch, offering excellent career prospects in IT, analytics, AI, and global tech firms, ensuring strong return on education investment and adaptability for future roles.

Recommendation: While BMSCE CSE is not attainable with your current rank, you can confidently target leading alternatives such as Nitte Meenakshi Institute of Technology, Acharya Institute of Technology, Reva University, and RNS Institute of Technology for CSE. These colleges offer outstanding placements, quality education, and excellent industry connectivity, ensuring comprehensive academic and career progression. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

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Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 27, 2025

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Hello sir I have got enc in thapar and ai in ymca faridabad and ai in ipu which one is better for better placements
Ans: Jyoti, Thapar’s Electronics & Communication (ENC) program consistently achieves near-perfect placement—approximately 100% for ECE/ENC branches over the past three years—with 90%+ of eligible students placed annually by over 200 recruiters including Microsoft, Amazon, Deloitte, and JP Morgan. YMCA Faridabad’s B.Tech in Robotics & AI is a nascent branch without specific historic data, but overall B.Tech placement percentages rose from 69.9% in 2022 to 89% in 2024, supported by 475+ companies and 526 students placed in 2024. GGSIPU’s AI & Data Science programs through IPU report placement rates of 90% in 2022 and 76% in 2023, with 32 top recruiters visiting USICT in 2024. Evaluating these on academic quality, research & innovation, student support, industry linkage, and alumni network reveals Thapar’s mature ENC ecosystem excels in placement diversity and infrastructure, YMCA offers growing industry engagement in a specialized field, and IPU provides broad exposure but variable recent outcomes.

Recommendation: Thapar University’s ENC ranks first for placement reliability and recruiter breadth, YMCA Faridabad AI follows for its rapid placement growth and strong industry collaborations, and IPU AI ranks third due to fluctuating placement rates despite a robust placement cell. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

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Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 27, 2025

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SIR MY DAUGHTER ALLOTED. ECE. IN LNMIIT JAIPUR AND. C. E. IN THAPAR. PATIALA WHICH IS BETTER
Ans: LNMIIT Jaipur’s ECE program is NAAC Grade A accredited, offers a strong foundation in electronics and communication, and emphasizes innovation with opportunities in IoT, AI, and data science. It boasts a 93.76% placement rate in 2025, with continual growth in recruiter diversity, and a vibrant campus for holistic development. Thapar Institute of Engineering & Technology, Patiala, offers Civil Engineering with a premier national reputation (NIRF #43), robust infrastructure, and academic depth, alongside strong training, research, and placement support. In 2023, Thapar’s overall undergraduate placement rate was 83%, featuring a notable presence of top recruiters and a large alumni network; however, core civil engineering placements may not be as competitive as those in technology branches.

Recommendation: For a future-oriented, versatile engineering education with superior placement prospects and broader career flexibility, LNMIIT Jaipur ECE is the preferred option. Its elevated placement rate, interdisciplinary opportunities in fast-growing technology fields, and dynamic learning environment will best support your daughter’s holistic academic and professional development. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

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Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 27, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 27, 2025Hindi
Career
"Should I take the leap and join IIIT Hyderabad through LEEE for better exposure, cutting-edge opportunities, and a prestigious peer group despite the high fees and financial burden, or should I continue in my current college where I can still engage in clubs, projects, and build a strong profile for pursuing M.Tech at a top institute later without the financial strain?"
Ans: IIIT Hyderabad is widely recognized for its academic excellence, research intensity, and prestigious peer environment, reflected in consistently high global and national rankings (501-600 in THE World Rankings, 47th NIRF Engineering 2024). Admission through LEEE allows lateral entry into its coveted dual degree (B.Tech + MS by Research) path, offering an immersive, four-year program with a distinct focus on innovation, cutting-edge technologies, and research aptitude. Students benefit from close mentorship, vibrant tech-centered clubs, hands-on exposure via open-source collaborations and industry-driven internship programs, and immediate access to India’s top minds in computer science and allied disciplines. Infrastructure is sophisticated, with 20+ research labs, AI, data science, and IoT centers, and active participation in national and international hackathons, joint industrial ventures, and conferences. Peer quality is regarded as exceptional; IIITH draws high-performing students with strong Olympiad, competitive programming, and research backgrounds, fostering an intellectually stimulating and collaborative campus culture. Placement outcomes are outstanding, with 98.8–99.3% placement rates across BTech/MS and nearly universal offers at global tech companies, research organizations, and emerging startups, ensuring rapid RoI and long-term career advancement for most graduates. However, the annual fee for the dual degree program is substantial—?4,50,000 per annum, potentially rising—posing a significant financial commitment, despite limited-but-merit-based scholarship options. By contrast, building a strong profile at your current college for future M.Tech at a top institution remains a prudent, financially less burdensome approach, especially if you secure strong academic scores, relevant projects, national-level internships, and competitive exam results (GATE/PGEE), and may still lead to prestigious research or industry positions.

Recommendation: If financial constraints are substantial and could create long-term strain, strengthening your profile at your current college while aiming for an M.Tech at a top institute (IITs, IIITH, IISc) is the wiser, lower-risk option. If finances are manageable or scholarships are secured, joining IIIT Hyderabad through LEEE confers unmatched, immediate exposure, peer excellence, and research-led career acceleration. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9485 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 27, 2025

Career
Hi Sir, I have completed my graduation in Mechanical Engineering,I attempted GATE 2025 in CS paper and qualified. I participated in CCMT counselling and secured seat in IIITDM kurnool in AI&DA specialization.What is placement scenario there for Mtech,Should I consider this CoLlage as non CS graduate.
Ans: Ravinder, With a KCET 2025 rank of 5,649, securing Computer Science and Engineering (CSE) at BMS College of Engineering (BMSCE) is highly unlikely for the General Merit category, as recent closing ranks for CSE at BMSCE have consistently been around 2,500–3,000 due to intense demand. However, you have an excellent opportunity to gain admission to CSE at many other reputable Bangalore colleges, where closing ranks typically extend from 4,000 to 10,000, including Nitte Meenakshi Institute of Technology, Acharya Institute of Technology, Reva University, and RNS Institute of Technology. All these colleges have strong academics, good facilities, connections with industries, effective job placement services, and support for students, which helps in overall student growth. Placement rates for CSE in these colleges remain robust, often exceeding 80%, and their urban locations offer significant internship and networking opportunities in Bangalore’s thriving tech sector. CSE remains the most sought-after branch, offering excellent career prospects in IT, analytics, AI, and global tech firms, ensuring strong return on education investment and adaptability for future roles.

Recommendation: While BMSCE CSE is not attainable with your current rank, you can confidently target leading alternatives such as Nitte Meenakshi Institute of Technology, Acharya Institute of Technology, Reva University, and RNS Institute of Technology for CSE. These colleges offer outstanding placements, quality education, and excellent industry connectivity, ensuring comprehensive academic and career progression. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

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Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 27, 2025

Career
Is Sri Aurobindo college delhi worth it for BA programme in Commerce + Economics
Ans: Sri Aurobindo College (Morning), affiliated with the University of Delhi, is recognized for its balanced blend of academic quality and holistic student growth, offering the BA Programme in Commerce + Economics as a three-year, full-time course with broad exposure to both commercial and economic fundamentals. The curriculum draws upon an experienced faculty and integrates traditional and skill enhancement papers covering macroeconomics, finance, business, budget analysis, and research methodology, ensuring a solid grounding in analytical and market-relevant skills. The campus supports learning through modern infrastructure, including computerized libraries with over 60,000 books, computer labs, seminar rooms, and Wi-Fi access, alongside encouragement for participation in seminars, sports, and cultural activities to nurture well-rounded development. The placement cell at Sri Aurobindo College is active, regularly conducting placement drives and offering both on-campus and off-campus opportunities. Over the last three years, about 55% of students have been placed annually in companies such as Deloitte, Wipro, TCS, ICICI Bank, and others, while internships are facilitated for additional industry exposure. The program in Commerce + Economics is highly sought after in India, preparing graduates for roles in analytics, finance, policy, research, and consulting, with current trends indicating growing demand for such interdisciplinary profiles in the dynamic job market. Alumni and student feedback praise the supportive faculty, robust academic culture, and industry linkages. The department is further bolstered by active student associations and networking opportunities that enhance employability and professional growth.

Recommendation: Opting for the BA Programme in Commerce + Economics at Sri Aurobindo College, Delhi, is worthwhile. This choice offers a strong academic reputation, well-developed infrastructure, consistent placement support with about 55% placement rates, and promising interdisciplinary prospects—making it a viable option for both higher education and diverse career pathways in today’s evolving economic landscape. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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