Please dont disclose my identity.I am aged 40 and not married.My father expired 13 year back and sister got married ten years. I started trying for arranged marriage by asking relatives but two of my mothers brother and family involved and distruct all my efforts by saying false stories. Idont drink smoke or have no bad habits.They made false stories to my mother relatives and father relatives. So i got tired of this drama .then i quit my job and start a business.i have confident that i can run a business smartly and it was going smooth for last 7 years. My i only idea is to recruit some staff so that if got a good one i can marry.i dont fibd any help from others.i got attached with one of my staff but after 2 years she said not interested. She also heavily attack me mentally by saying bad words about me to my partner. I got shocked of her sudden behavior and even after 8 months i have not recovered. I purely love her and done everything she said she likes.even after this shift of behavior and harassment she came to job for 1 more month. I never had a bad word or any type of misbehavior with her even for a second, as i love her completely. She also knows that but she dont know that i love her. I have her voice messages but not even once i oppose what ever she said. I dont want to make her feel any guilty. Then onwards i have not send any messages call or any attempt to see her. But day by day i loose my self and loose interest to live. I dont know what to do further

Ans: It sounds like you've been through a complex and challenging situation. Dealing with personal relationships, especially when there are allegations and trust issues, can be very difficult. Here are some steps and considerations to help you navigate this situation:

Reflect on Your Priorities: Take some time to reflect on what you want in your life and what is most important to you. This includes considering your family, your own happiness, and your financial stability.

Open and honest communication is essential. It's important to have a calm and honest conversation with her about your concerns and feelings. Ask her to clarify her doubts about your relationship with your sister-in-law and express how these accusations are affecting you and your family.

Trust Issues: Trust is the foundation of any healthy relationship. If trust has been repeatedly broken, it can be challenging to rebuild. Discuss the importance of trust with her and see if there's a way to work together on rebuilding it. Be prepared to listen to her concerns as well.

Boundaries: It's essential to establish clear boundaries in your relationship. Discuss what is acceptable behavior and what is not. Make sure both of you are on the same page regarding these boundaries.

Counseling: Consider seeking the help of a relationship counselor or therapist. Professional guidance can be beneficial in resolving complex issues and improving communication.

Financial Matters: If you both have invested money in a property together, it's important to discuss how to handle this aspect of your relationship. Consult with a legal professional to understand your options and ensure a fair resolution.

Self-care: This situation has likely taken a toll on your emotional well-being. Ensure that you are taking care of yourself, both mentally and physically. Reach out to friends and family for support.
Reevaluate the Relationship: Reflect on whether this relationship is healthy and if it's in the best interest of both parties. Sometimes, it's necessary to make difficult decisions for your own well-being.

Talk to Your Wife: Be open with your wife about the situation. Let her know what has been happening and reassure her of your commitment to your marriage.

Protect Your Reputation: If this woman continues to make false allegations against you, it might be necessary to take legal action to protect your reputation. Consult with an attorney about any potential defamation or harassment issues.

Distance Yourself: If the relationship with this woman is causing you significant stress and harm, it may be best to maintain distance from her. Focus on your family, your work, and your own well-being.

Learn from the Experience: Use this difficult situation as an opportunity for personal growth. Reflect on what you've learned about yourself and your relationships, and use that knowledge to make better choices in the future.


Legal Advice: If the financial aspect of your relationship becomes contentious, consider consulting with a lawyer to protect your interests and explore legal options regarding the property you both invested in.

Remember that each relationship is unique, and there may not be a one-size-fits-all solution. The most important thing is to prioritize your well-being and the well-being of your family. It may also be helpful to involve a therapist or counselor to mediate the situation and provide guidance on how to move forward.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
The reason to marry for you mainly has been companionship, a mother for your daughter...
And marriage is not a transaction BUT a meeting of minds...when there is no compatibility, there is no space for agreeing on the same things or wanting to make things work which is possibly what has happened with your 2nd and 3rd marriage.
If you want this marriage to work, there has to be an equal commitment by both of you, so, start by emotionally bonding first. Slowly build on this by making goals for the marriage and the future...your only goal can't be mother for your child...not all women are going to readily accept this and some may even falter along the way. Allow the lady and your daughter to bond together for sometime so they develop a unique relationship...
Understand that transactional relationships do not last; so, invest enough time in building trust in that companionship for it to become something meaningful

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/