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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |442 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 01, 2024

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jan 15, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Please dont disclose my identity.I am aged 40 and not married.My father expired 13 year back and sister got married ten years. I started trying for arranged marriage by asking relatives but two of my mothers brother and family involved and distruct all my efforts by saying false stories. Idont drink smoke or have no bad habits.They made false stories to my mother relatives and father relatives. So i got tired of this drama .then i quit my job and start a business.i have confident that i can run a business smartly and it was going smooth for last 7 years. My i only idea is to recruit some staff so that if got a good one i can marry.i dont fibd any help from others.i got attached with one of my staff but after 2 years she said not interested. She also heavily attack me mentally by saying bad words about me to my partner. I got shocked of her sudden behavior and even after 8 months i have not recovered. I purely love her and done everything she said she likes.even after this shift of behavior and harassment she came to job for 1 more month. I never had a bad word or any type of misbehavior with her even for a second, as i love her completely. She also knows that but she dont know that i love her. I have her voice messages but not even once i oppose what ever she said. I dont want to make her feel any guilty. Then onwards i have not send any messages call or any attempt to see her. But day by day i loose my self and loose interest to live. I dont know what to do further

Ans: I'm really sorry to hear that you're going through such a difficult time. It sounds like you've faced challenges in your personal and professional life, and the recent experience with someone you cared about has added to your emotional distress. Coping with rejection and the emotional toll it takes can be incredibly tough. Talk to friends or family members about what you're going through. Sharing your feelings can be a relief and help you gain perspective.If the emotional burden becomes too much to handle, consider seeking the support of a mental health professional. They can provide guidance and strategies to cope with the challenges you're facing. Reflect on your personal goals and priorities. While finding a life partner is important, it's also crucial to ensure you are content and fulfilled in other aspects of your life. Reconnect with activities or hobbies that bring you joy and fulfillment. This can help take your mind off the challenges you're facing and bring positivity into your life. Healing takes time, so be patient with yourself. It's okay to feel the way you do, and acknowledging your emotions is an essential step in the healing process.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |442 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 16, 2023

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Relationship
I am 38, married male with two kids. I got in touch with a widow aged 48 years and in a good relationship. She proposed me first and initiated into relationship. Prior to our relationship, she was in a relationship of 27 years and was still in his touch. Her husband expired just five days into our relationship. After that, when i got to know her relationship of 27 years, i tried to brake the relationship but she insisted that she is just good friend to him, and nothing more now. I relied on her version. Lately, from the past six months, she made my life hell by levelling allegations on me that I have relationship with my sister in law. I tried to make her understand that I call her beta as she is around 23 but still doesnt want to understand. I broke her with on 27 june, but she came again in july this year and said sorry. During quarrel period, she made call to my wife, my friends and levelled filthy allegations against me. When she came back, I forgave her and tried to make peace with her. But after that too, she still believes that I am in relationship with my sister in law. I got fed up with her and again broke with her. One thing more that we both invested our money in making one building as builder. She doesnot have permanent source of income and relies on making money as PG counseller. During this, she suffered from financial problems and took care of her monthly expenses, her ration, etc. Kindly help.
Ans: It sounds like you've been through a complex and challenging situation. Dealing with personal relationships, especially when there are allegations and trust issues, can be very difficult. Here are some steps and considerations to help you navigate this situation:

Reflect on Your Priorities: Take some time to reflect on what you want in your life and what is most important to you. This includes considering your family, your own happiness, and your financial stability.

Open and honest communication is essential. It's important to have a calm and honest conversation with her about your concerns and feelings. Ask her to clarify her doubts about your relationship with your sister-in-law and express how these accusations are affecting you and your family.

Trust Issues: Trust is the foundation of any healthy relationship. If trust has been repeatedly broken, it can be challenging to rebuild. Discuss the importance of trust with her and see if there's a way to work together on rebuilding it. Be prepared to listen to her concerns as well.

Boundaries: It's essential to establish clear boundaries in your relationship. Discuss what is acceptable behavior and what is not. Make sure both of you are on the same page regarding these boundaries.

Counseling: Consider seeking the help of a relationship counselor or therapist. Professional guidance can be beneficial in resolving complex issues and improving communication.

Financial Matters: If you both have invested money in a property together, it's important to discuss how to handle this aspect of your relationship. Consult with a legal professional to understand your options and ensure a fair resolution.

Self-care: This situation has likely taken a toll on your emotional well-being. Ensure that you are taking care of yourself, both mentally and physically. Reach out to friends and family for support.
Reevaluate the Relationship: Reflect on whether this relationship is healthy and if it's in the best interest of both parties. Sometimes, it's necessary to make difficult decisions for your own well-being.

Talk to Your Wife: Be open with your wife about the situation. Let her know what has been happening and reassure her of your commitment to your marriage.

Protect Your Reputation: If this woman continues to make false allegations against you, it might be necessary to take legal action to protect your reputation. Consult with an attorney about any potential defamation or harassment issues.

Distance Yourself: If the relationship with this woman is causing you significant stress and harm, it may be best to maintain distance from her. Focus on your family, your work, and your own well-being.

Learn from the Experience: Use this difficult situation as an opportunity for personal growth. Reflect on what you've learned about yourself and your relationships, and use that knowledge to make better choices in the future.


Legal Advice: If the financial aspect of your relationship becomes contentious, consider consulting with a lawyer to protect your interests and explore legal options regarding the property you both invested in.

Remember that each relationship is unique, and there may not be a one-size-fits-all solution. The most important thing is to prioritize your well-being and the well-being of your family. It may also be helpful to involve a therapist or counselor to mediate the situation and provide guidance on how to move forward.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1402 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 22, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 16, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi , I am a professor mech engineer , after death of my wife and due to having 5 year girl baby I planned for 2 nd marriage as I live alone away from home town because my of job with my little baby . I accepted a widow having 2 child ,she was working in a govt job 250 km away , after ensuring and agreeing her possibility of transfer and job vacancy @govt office near my house and ensuring she agreed that she will come to live with me along with her 2 kids and my little baby as her trasfer was due in comming few months . We lived apart during her job at 250 km away.,while meeting on weekly offs 6 /7 time in 6 months , then she take 360 degree u turn and said she will not get job transfer to my place and get her trasfer in other dept. in same previous office. And started telling many reasons like she will loose her children's inheritance in her in-laws property ,she will loose promotion , kids Don't want trasfer , and said we will live apart forever . This was contradictory to earlier agreed things .and my my purpose to live in family with my baby not fulfilled , so after long ruckus ,I mutually got divorce from her , Then After divorce I decided to marry non working women having no child and don't expect child as I am @48 year old and tired of living alone and managing job ,girl , house chores . I married to a divorcee girl from Pune ,she was BA first year college drop out girl of 44 yr age after 6 months of long dating on week ends . During 6 months I tried to know her indepth but was don't used to talk much as I was trying to know her true nature, we visited many places ,movies . She seemed perfect as per my requirement of girl wanting no child , and she is house wife . after marriage she behave well for 1 st week ,then she started trouble to hate my baby ( became kaikai )on pety things , she want my baby to house chores at the cost of her important year of 10th std study . She don't liked me taking tution of girl , she didn't like if I help my girl any way . She don't like if I spent some money on my girl . She used to fight all night and don't let me sleep . Now she stated demanding that she want baby , though I was against and b4 marriage agreed to not have any more child due to old age ,cost ,and no personal time for self , then I agreed to have child but b4 that I got her and my fertility tested ,she had weak eggs and syst on her reproductive organs and doc warned to not go for pregnancy due to risk and probability of unhealthy baby birth , but she kept repeating That she want child we consulted 4 Drs. She used to fight and go to her mother's home for 2/4 months after living with me for 2/3 days only . Now she wants divorce , and asks me to keep my girl in hostel if I want her in my life . This Ramayan has left me baffled , What should I do ??? .....
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
The reason to marry for you mainly has been companionship, a mother for your daughter...
And marriage is not a transaction BUT a meeting of minds...when there is no compatibility, there is no space for agreeing on the same things or wanting to make things work which is possibly what has happened with your 2nd and 3rd marriage.
If you want this marriage to work, there has to be an equal commitment by both of you, so, start by emotionally bonding first. Slowly build on this by making goals for the marriage and the future...your only goal can't be mother for your child...not all women are going to readily accept this and some may even falter along the way. Allow the lady and your daughter to bond together for sometime so they develop a unique relationship...
Understand that transactional relationships do not last; so, invest enough time in building trust in that companionship for it to become something meaningful

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7281 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 18, 2024

Money
I am 49 years old working in private sector. Currently, drawing Rs. 1.50 lakhs per month, my investment details. - Lumpsum investment – canara robeco midcap regular – Rs.2 lakhs, union multicap fund –Rs.1 lakh, mahindra Manulife small cap rs.2 lakh; canara robeco multi cap Rs.2.20 lakhs; mahindra Manulife business cycle fund – Rs. 50,000; white oak capital large & mid cap fund – Rs. 100,000; ICICI prudential energy opportunities fund – rs. 100,000 - SIP – HDFC Defence fund – Rs. 10,000; mahindra manulife manufacturing fund – Rs.10000; white oak special opportunities fund 10,000 - FD with HDFC bank – rs. 12,00,000 - LIC – Rs. 10 lakhs My future expenditure, daughters marriage in 3 to 4 years and to purchase house in chennai and to save money for retirement. Please give me advice on how to invest so that I can meet my future demands and have a self-sufficient retirement.
Ans: Assessment of Current Investments
Mutual Funds

Your portfolio has a good mix of midcap, multicap, small-cap, and sectoral funds.
Diversification across different fund categories is appreciable.
However, the allocation to thematic and sectoral funds like defence, manufacturing, and energy is high.
Sectoral funds can be volatile and risky, especially for near-term goals.
Fixed Deposit (FD)

Rs. 12 lakh in FD provides stability and liquidity.
FDs are suitable for short-term needs but offer limited growth potential.
LIC Policy

The LIC policy provides Rs. 10 lakh, likely covering insurance and investment.
Such policies usually yield lower returns than mutual funds.
Future Financial Goals
Daughter’s Marriage (3–4 years)

Allocate funds with a low-risk profile for this goal.
Avoid high exposure to equity for this purpose.
House Purchase in Chennai

Save in instruments that offer both safety and moderate returns.
Flexibility and liquidity are important for this goal.
Retirement Corpus

Focus on long-term equity investments for growth.
Diversify to balance returns and risk.
Proposed Investment Strategy
Short-Term Goals (Daughter’s Marriage and House Purchase)
Utilise Fixed Deposits Wisely

Allocate a portion of your FD for your daughter’s marriage.
Retain some FD for emergency purposes only.
Invest in Debt Mutual Funds

Choose high-quality short-duration or dynamic bond funds.
Debt funds can provide better post-tax returns than FDs.
Keep the money safe and accessible for short-term use.
Avoid Sectoral and Thematic Funds

Shift sectoral fund investments to safer debt-oriented funds.
Sectoral funds are not suitable for short-term goals.
Medium- to Long-Term Goal (Retirement Planning)
Increase SIP in Diversified Equity Funds

Diversify into flexicap, multicap, or large-cap funds.
These funds balance risk and growth for long-term wealth creation.
Reduce Thematic Fund Allocation

Limit exposure to thematic funds to less than 10% of the portfolio.
Reallocate to well-diversified equity funds.
Invest in Hybrid Funds

Include balanced advantage or hybrid equity funds.
These funds reduce volatility while offering equity-like returns.
Consider Equity-Linked Savings Scheme (ELSS)

Invest in ELSS for tax-saving benefits under Section 80C.
ELSS funds also offer long-term growth.
General Recommendations
Review Insurance Policy

Assess if the LIC policy offers adequate life coverage.
If it is a traditional endowment or ULIP, consider surrendering.
Reallocate proceeds to mutual funds for better returns.
Maintain Emergency Fund

Keep 6–12 months’ expenses in a savings account or liquid funds.
This ensures you have liquidity for unforeseen expenses.
Monitor and Rebalance Portfolio

Review your portfolio quarterly or semi-annually.
Rebalance to maintain alignment with your goals.
Focus on Tax Efficiency

Use tax-efficient instruments like ELSS, debt funds, and retirement-focused funds.
Plan withdrawals strategically to reduce tax impact on capital gains.
Retirement Planning Recommendations
Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP)

In the future, use SWP from mutual funds for retirement income.
It provides tax efficiency compared to traditional annuities.
Healthcare Planning

Ensure your health insurance coverage is adequate for post-retirement needs.
Increase coverage if necessary to avoid financial strain later.
Invest in Equity for Growth

Continue investing in equities for long-term wealth appreciation.
Equity helps combat inflation effectively over the years.
Final Insights
Your investment portfolio is commendable and diversified. However, some adjustments can improve alignment with your goals. Reduce sectoral exposure and shift towards safer instruments for short-term needs. For retirement, continue SIPs in diversified equity and hybrid funds. Regular monitoring and rebalancing will keep your financial plan on track. With these changes, you can achieve your goals while ensuring a comfortable and self-sufficient retirement.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7281 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 18, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 12, 2024Hindi
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Money
Can I utilise my money received by cancelling aggreement of one flat to repay the loan amount for the flat where I am residing?
Ans: Yes, you can use the money received from cancelling the agreement of one flat to repay the loan for the flat where you are residing. This can be a financially prudent decision, especially if the loan carries a high-interest rate. Here’s a detailed analysis to help you decide:

Benefits of Using the Money to Repay Your Loan
Interest Savings

Paying off your home loan early can save significant interest.
The earlier you repay, the more you save on interest due to the reducing balance method.
Debt-Free Living

Being debt-free reduces financial stress.
You free up cash flow that can be allocated to other financial goals.
Guaranteed Returns

Loan repayment offers guaranteed returns equivalent to the interest rate on your loan.
This is often better than the post-tax returns from other investments.
Enhanced Creditworthiness

Paying off a loan improves your credit score.
This is beneficial if you plan to borrow in the future for any purpose.
Factors to Consider Before Repaying the Loan
Prepayment Penalty

Check if your lender imposes a penalty for early repayment.
Most lenders, however, do not charge penalties on floating-rate loans.
Emergency Fund

Ensure you have an adequate emergency fund before using the money to repay the loan.
Ideally, keep 6-12 months of expenses in a savings account or liquid funds.
Opportunity Cost

Compare the potential returns from investing the money against the savings from loan repayment.
If your loan interest rate is lower than potential investment returns, consider investing instead.
Tax Benefits

Home loan interest payments qualify for tax benefits under Section 24(b) of the Income Tax Act.
Principal repayments are eligible under Section 80C.
If you repay the loan, you forgo these benefits, so weigh the impact on your tax planning.
Alternative Approaches
Partial Repayment

Consider making a partial repayment instead of fully paying off the loan.
This reduces the principal while keeping some funds liquid for other opportunities.
Invest for Higher Returns

If your loan interest rate is low, explore investing in mutual funds or other instruments.
Over time, these investments could potentially offer better post-tax returns.
Settle High-Cost Loans First

If you have any other high-interest loans, prioritise repaying those.
Examples include personal loans or credit card debts.
Final Insights
Repaying your home loan with the money from the cancelled flat agreement is a sound decision if your goal is to reduce debt and save on interest. However, consider your overall financial situation, including tax benefits, liquidity needs, and potential investment opportunities. A balanced approach—partly repaying the loan and investing the remaining amount—could offer the best of both worlds. Consulting a Certified Financial Planner can help you tailor the decision to your specific goals and circumstances.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Rajesh Kumar

Rajesh Kumar Singh  |15 Answers  |Ask -

IIT-JEE, GATE Expert - Answered on Dec 18, 2024

Harsh

Harsh Bharwani  |64 Answers  |Ask -

Entrepreneurship Expert - Answered on Dec 18, 2024

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Career
I'm a Chartered accountant .. recently qualified .I'm interested in start up company with intention of book keeping services .software .pls give me some piece of idea regarding how to begin my book keeping services software ..
Ans: Starting a bookkeeping service powered by your own software is a great way to leverage your skills as a recently qualified chartered accountant. With the growing demand for streamlined accounting solutions, your idea has a lot of potentials. Here's how you can get started effectively:

Understand the market and identify your niche:- You have to start by researching the market to identify the specific needs of small & medium-sized businesses. Because many businesses are struggling with manual accounting or find existing software too complex or expensive. Focus on building a solution that is simple, affordable and addresses their pain points, such as automating invoices, tracking expenses and generating tax reports.

Develop or customize software:- Decide whether to build your software from scratch with the help of a development team or customize an existing platform like QuickBooks or Zoho Books to create a unique product. But make sure your software includes essential features like cloud access, real-time financial tracking, automated reminders, payroll management, and integration with banking systems. Prioritize an intuitive interface so that even non-accountants can use it easily.

Provide flexible and scalable solutions:- Start structuring your services with flexible pricing models, such as tiered subscription plans based on business size and its features. With Offers add-ons such as tax filing assistance, compliance consulting, or financial planning to differentiate yourself from other competitors. A free trial or discounted onboarding package can attract new customers and build trust to convert the audience into customers.

Build a strong brand and online presence:- Start your service as a reliable, tech-enabled bookkeeping solution by emphasizing your credentials as a chartered accountant. You Have to create a professional website with client testimonials, feature highlights and demo videos of your software. Use social media and content marketing to showcase the benefits of your services, such as cost savings, error reduction compliance accuracy and many more. Networking with local businesses and participating in professional forums can also help increase your visibility in the market.

Stay up to date and constantly improve:- Accounting laws and technology are evolving quickly, so keep your software updated with new versions to meet regulatory requirements after getting client feedback. Introduce AI-powered features like predictive analytics or fraud detection to stay ahead of competitors. Engage with your clients regularly to understand their challenges and improve your offerings.

By combining your expertise in accounting with cutting-edge technology, you can create a reliable and scalable bookkeeping solution that not only supports businesses but also establishes you as a leader in this field. Start small, focus on client needs, and let your service grow along with your reputation.

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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