Home > Relationship > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help
Love Guru

Love Guru   |204 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on Aug 03, 2023

Love Guru has been answering relationship and romance related questions on Rediff.com for over 13 years. She won't mince words when telling you what the problem is and what you can do about it. If you want a fresh perspective from an unbiased, objective-thinking individual about your relationship woes, Love Guru could just be the person you need to need to hear from.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jul 09, 2023Hindi
Listen
Relationship

I am 67 years old with married life of 41 years. my wife aged 58 years old, underwent Hysterectomy 8 years back due to ovarian cyst. I am interested in Sex. my wife doesn't have any interest in sex. we use vaginal lubricants also. how to solve this problem.

Ans: A hysterectomy is no reason to stop having sex, but there may be associated physical factors that your wife is perhaps coping with. Doctors are no strangers to the issues women face sexually in light of menopause and related conditions. I think a frank consultation with a medical expert may help your situation more than I can.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1590 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 17, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 15, 2023Hindi
Listen
Hi Anu !! I am 53 year & my wife is 52 years. She underwent a surgery in 2021 for removal of a simple ovarian cyst and was back to normal routine after few months. However, we are not able to have sexual intercourse since then due to it being extremely painful for her. She has also lost all interest in sex & we try it occasionally only upon my insistence. Prior to her surgery, we had a rocking sex life but now it has come to an abrupt end & it feels very depressing at times, particularly for me. Life seems lack-lusture now. Is it normal or we need to have some medical or psychological intervention. My wife says we are now anyway too old to expect frequent sexual encounters as before. She had her menopause about 3 years back. Pls help, I am confused, just like teenagers are when they are at the doorsteps of adulthood.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Two things strike me as I read what you have shared.
1. The effects of the surgery and medications that are possibly not making intercourse a pleasure
2. The effects of menopause which she possibly is undergoing that can temporarily deter the body from being active for any form of sexual intimacy

So, isn't it fair to actually focus on her as she is dealing with two major challenges at this point in time? I do understand that as a man, the way the body works is not at the same pace as it is for a woman. That's how there is a mismatch during key phases of life; childbirth, menopause, illness...
For a woman, her body will cooperate for any form of intimacy only if she 'feels' it from within...with pain and physiological changes during menopause due to hormonal his and lows, it is a challenge.
Work together as a couple on this; understand what is going on with her and what she 'feels'

Address the 'feeling' part and you will get answers to what's going on with her mind and body. Is consulting an option? Yes, it is but after you have tried working together on this. Sometimes, it is good to rule out any medical issues that is causing her to still have pain or a fear due to that pain can be eliminated by working with a mental health professional. Also a Mind Expert, will be able to work on her beliefs on intimacy, sex etc after a certain age...
One can be sexually active as long as they wish to, but it need not be cut short due to health issues or belief issues. Be compassionate as you speak with her and I am sure, things will get better...

All the best!

..Read more

Latest Questions
Dr Dipankar

Dr Dipankar Dutta  |1147 Answers  |Ask -

Tech Careers and Skill Development Expert - Answered on Apr 18, 2025

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |4437 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Apr 17, 2025

Listen
Career
MY SON JUST PASSED OUT CLASS X WITH JUST 76 %. HE IS INTERESTED IN CONTINUING SCIENCE AND MATH UPTO POST-GRADUATION. IS HE RIGHT?
Ans: Avijit Sir, To provide more specific guidance, it would be helpful to know how many marks your son scored in Mathematics and Science specifically, and what exactly has motivated his interest in pursuing these subjects up to graduation. Also, what are his long-term goals? Suggestion: Please arrange a Psychometric Test for him. It will offer a clearer picture of his aptitude, interests, and personality, helping to identify which career paths might align best with his strengths. Academic Preparedness:
Please note that Class XI Science—especially Physics and Mathematics—is highly conceptual and more rigorous than Class X. If he faced difficulties in these subjects earlier, it’s important to bridge that gap now through: A foundation course or Summer preparation by joining any Coaching Cenre Offline or online. Coaching can be helpful, but only if the motivation comes from within. Without genuine interest, coaching may lead to burnout. If he is aiming for competitive exams like JEE (IIT, NIT), NEET, or wants to explore pure sciences at institutes like IISc or IISER, it’s vital to develop a structured study routine early on. Maintain Career Flexibility. Even if he continues with Science and Math now, he can later explore interdisciplinary fields such as: Data Science | Finance | Architecture | Design Or even emerging tech fields Choosing Science now doesn’t limit him—it actually keeps more doors open for the future. All the Best for Your Son's Prosperous Future.

Follow RediffGURUS to Know more on 'Careers | Health | Money | Relationships'.

...Read more

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |4437 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Apr 17, 2025

Listen
Career
I get 81.2 percentile in jee main session 1 can I get any nit?
Ans: Priyanshi, Here is, How to Predict Your Chances of Admission into NIT or IIIT or GFTI After JEE Main Results – A Step-by-Step Guide.

Providing precise admission chances for each student can be challenging. Some reputed educational websites offer ‘College Predictor’ tools where you can check possible college options based on your percentile, category, and preferences. However, for a more accurate understanding, here’s a simple yet effective 9-step method using JoSAA’s past-year opening and closing ranks. This approach gives you a fair estimate (though not 100% exact) of your admission chances based on the previous year’s data.

Step-by-Step Guide to Check Your Admission Chances Using JoSAA Data
Step 1: Collect Your Key Details
Before starting, note down the following details:

Your JEE Main percentile | Convert the Percentile to AIR, based on the Formula available in Google.
Your category (General-Open, SC, ST, OBC-NCL, EWS, PwD categories)
Preferred institute types (NIT, IIIT, GFTI)
Preferred locations (or if you're open to any location in India)
List of at least 3 preferred academic programs (branches) as backups (instead of relying on just one option)
Step 2: Access JoSAA’s Official Opening & Closing Ranks
Go to Google and type: JoSAA Opening & Closing Ranks 2024
Click on the first search result (official JoSAA website).
You will land directly on JoSAA’s portal, where you can enter your details to check past-year cutoffs.
Step 3: Select the Round Number
JoSAA conducts five rounds of counseling.
For a safer estimate, choose Round 4, as most admissions are settled by this round.
Step 4: Choose the Institute Type
Select NIT, IIIT, or GFTI, depending on your preference.
If you are open to all types of institutes, check them one by one instead of selecting all at once.
Step 5: Select the Institute Name (Based on Location)
It is recommended to check institutes one by one, based on your preferred locations.
Avoid selecting ‘ALL’ at once, as it may create confusion.
Step 6: Select Your Preferred Academic Program (Branch)
Enter the branches you are interested in, one at a time, in your preferred order.
Step 7: Submit and Analyze Results
After selecting the relevant details, click the ‘SUBMIT’ button.
The system will display Opening & Closing Ranks of the selected institute and branch for different categories.
Step 8: Note Down the Opening & Closing Ranks
Maintain a notebook or diary to record the Opening & Closing Ranks for each institute and branch you are interested in.
This will serve as a quick reference during JoSAA counseling.
Step 9: Adjust Your Expectations on a Safer Side
Since Opening & Closing Ranks fluctuate slightly each year, always adjust the numbers for safety.
Example Calculation:
If the Opening & Closing Ranks for NIT Delhi | Mechanical Engineering | OPEN Category show 8622 & 26186 (for Home State), consider adjusting them to 8300 & 23000 (on a safer side).
If the Female Category rank is 34334 & 36212, adjust it to 31000 & 33000.
Follow this approach for Other State candidates and different categories.
Pro Tip: Adjust your expected rank slightly lower than the previous year's cutoffs for realistic expectations during JoSAA counseling.

Can This Method Be Used for JEE April & JEE Advanced?
Yes! You can repeat the same steps after your April JEE Main results to refine your admission possibilities.
You can also follow a similar process for JEE Advanced cutoffs when applying for IITs.

Want to Learn More About JoSAA Counseling?
If you want detailed insights on JoSAA counseling, engineering entrance exams, preparation strategies, and engineering career options, check out EduJob360’s 180+ YouTube videos on this topic!

Hope this guide helps! All the best for your admissions!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know more on 'Careers | Health | Money | Relationships'.

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x