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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6995 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 29, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Sidha Question by Sidha on Nov 27, 2023Hindi
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I have the following SIP investments in the below Mutual Fund plans . Please advise if I should change any ? Also ,Please advise where can I put an additional 20k per month for more investment?[SA] Quant MIdCap Direct growth Fund 5025 Quant Large and Midcap Direct Fund Growth 2025 SBI Magnum Midcap Direct Plan Growth 3001 Quant Active Direct Fund Growth 4001 Axis Nift Smallcap 50 index direct plan growth 3501 HDFC Small cap direct Plan growth 2501 ICICI Prudential BHARAT 22 FOF Direct Plan growth 5003 SBI Large and Midcap direct plan growth 3004 Nippon india Small cap Direct plan growth 5006 Quant small plan direct plan growth 3010 Quant multi assest direct plan growth 2010 ICICI Prudential Bluechip Direct plan Growth 2110

Ans: Optimizing Your SIP Investments for Long-Term Growth
With a diverse portfolio of SIP investments, it's essential to periodically review and adjust your holdings to ensure they remain aligned with your financial goals and risk tolerance. Let's evaluate your current SIP investments and explore opportunities for additional investment to enhance your portfolio's growth potential.

Reviewing Current SIP Investments
Your current SIP investments cover a wide range of fund categories, including mid-cap, large-cap, small-cap, and multi-asset funds. This diversification is beneficial for spreading risk and capturing growth opportunities across different market segments.

Analyzing Fund Performance and Suitability
While each fund serves a specific purpose in your portfolio, it's essential to evaluate their performance relative to their benchmarks and peer group. Consider factors such as historical returns, expense ratios, and fund manager expertise when assessing their suitability for your investment objectives.

Identifying Potential Changes
Based on your investment horizon, risk tolerance, and financial goals, consider the following factors when determining whether to make changes to your SIP investments:

Underperforming Funds: Review funds that consistently underperform their benchmarks or fail to meet your expectations. Consider replacing them with better-performing alternatives.

Overlapping Holdings: Identify any overlapping holdings across funds and consolidate your investments to avoid duplication and streamline your portfolio.

Risk Management: Assess the overall risk profile of your portfolio and make adjustments to ensure it aligns with your risk tolerance and investment objectives.

Exploring Additional Investment Opportunities
With a surplus of Rs. 20,000 per month available for investment, consider allocating these funds to further diversify your portfolio and capitalize on growth opportunities. Explore the following options for additional investment:

Sector-Specific Funds: Consider investing in sector-specific funds to capitalize on emerging trends and opportunities in specific industries or sectors.

International Funds: Diversify your portfolio geographically by investing in international funds that provide exposure to global markets and currencies.

Debt Funds: Balance your portfolio by investing in debt funds, which offer stable returns and act as a hedge against market volatility.

Seeking Professional Advice
Given the complexity of portfolio management and the dynamic nature of financial markets, consider consulting with a Certified Financial Planner to receive personalized advice tailored to your specific financial situation and goals. A professional can help you optimize your portfolio, identify suitable investment options, and navigate market uncertainties effectively.

Conclusion
Girish, by reviewing your current SIP investments, identifying potential changes, and exploring additional investment opportunities, you can optimize your portfolio for long-term growth and wealth accumulation. With guidance from a Certified Financial Planner, you can navigate the investment landscape with confidence and work towards achieving your financial goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6995 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 29, 2024

Money
I have the following SIP investments in the below Mutual Fund plans . Please advise if I should change any ? Also ,Please advise where can I put an additional 20k per month for more investment?[SA] Quant MIdCap Direct growth Fund 5025 Quant Large and Midcap Direct Fund Growth 2025 SBI Magnum Midcap Direct Plan Growth 3001 Quant Active Direct Fund Growth 4001 Axis Nift Smallcap 50 index direct plan growth 3501 HDFC Small cap direct Plan growth 2501 ICICI Prudential BHARAT 22 FOF Direct Plan growth 5003 SBI Large and Midcap direct plan growth 3004 Nippon india Small cap Direct plan growth 5006 Quant small plan direct plan growth 3010 Quant multi assest direct plan growth 2010 ICICI Prudential Bluechip Direct plan Growth 2110
Ans: You have taken significant steps towards securing your financial future with a diversified SIP portfolio. Your commitment to regular investing is commendable.

Review of Existing SIP Investments:

Let’s analyze your current mutual fund investments to ensure they align with your financial goals and risk tolerance.

Quant MidCap Direct Growth Fund:

This fund focuses on mid-cap stocks, which offer high growth potential but come with higher volatility.

Quant Large and Midcap Direct Fund Growth:

A balanced mix of large and mid-cap stocks, providing a blend of stability and growth.

SBI Magnum Midcap Direct Plan Growth:

Another mid-cap fund adding diversity within the mid-cap segment.

Quant Active Direct Fund Growth:

A diversified equity fund that invests across various sectors and market capitalizations.

Axis Nifty Smallcap 50 Index Direct Plan Growth:

An index fund focused on small-cap stocks, offering potential high returns with higher risk.

HDFC Small Cap Direct Plan Growth:

A small-cap fund that focuses on companies with high growth potential.

ICICI Prudential BHARAT 22 FOF Direct Plan Growth:

A fund of funds investing in the Bharat 22 ETF, providing exposure to a diversified portfolio of public sector companies.

SBI Large and Midcap Direct Plan Growth:

Invests in both large and mid-cap stocks, providing a balance between growth and stability.

Nippon India Small Cap Direct Plan Growth:

A small-cap fund known for aggressive growth strategies.

Quant Small Cap Direct Plan Growth:

Another small-cap fund, adding to the exposure in the small-cap segment.

Quant Multi Asset Direct Plan Growth:

Invests across multiple asset classes, providing diversification and reducing risk.

ICICI Prudential Bluechip Direct Plan Growth:

A large-cap fund that offers stability and consistent returns.

Recommendations for Portfolio Optimization
Diversification and Overlap:

Your portfolio has a heavy allocation towards small-cap and mid-cap funds. While these can provide high returns, they also come with higher risk.

Reducing Overlap:

Consider reducing the number of small-cap funds to avoid excessive overlap and potential volatility.

Balancing with Large-Cap Funds:

Increase allocation in large-cap funds for stability and consistent returns.

Suggested Changes
Retain:

Quant MidCap Direct Growth Fund
Quant Large and Midcap Direct Fund Growth
ICICI Prudential Bluechip Direct Plan Growth
Consider Replacing or Reducing:

Nippon India Small Cap Direct Plan Growth: Consider reducing allocation due to significant overlap with other small-cap funds.
Quant Small Cap Direct Plan Growth: Similar to above, reduce or replace to minimize risk.
Balanced Funds:

Introduce balanced funds or hybrid funds to achieve a mix of equity and debt, providing growth with reduced volatility.

New Investment Recommendations
Additional Rs. 20,000 Allocation:

Here’s how you can allocate your additional Rs. 20,000 per month for optimal returns.

Diversified Equity Funds:

Invest in diversified equity funds with a proven track record for stable growth.

Large-Cap and Bluechip Funds:

Increase allocation in large-cap funds for stability.

Balanced or Hybrid Funds:

Introduce balanced funds for a mix of equity and debt, providing growth with lower risk.

Creating a Stable Portfolio
Balanced Allocation:

Ensure a balanced allocation between large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap funds.

Regular Review and Rebalancing:

Review your portfolio regularly and rebalance annually to maintain desired asset allocation.

Risk Management:

Ensure your portfolio aligns with your risk tolerance and investment horizon.

Perils of Direct Investing
Market Volatility:

Direct investing in the stock market can expose you to significant market volatility. Prices can fluctuate widely, affecting the value of your investments.

Lack of Diversification:

Investing in individual stocks may lead to a lack of diversification. This increases risk as your investment is concentrated in fewer securities.

Research and Knowledge:

Direct investing requires extensive research and market knowledge. Without proper understanding, you may make uninformed decisions leading to losses.

Emotional Investing:

Investors often make emotional decisions based on market movements, leading to buying high and selling low, which can erode returns.

Time-Consuming:

Managing a portfolio of individual stocks is time-consuming. It requires continuous monitoring and adjustment based on market conditions.

Benefits of Investing Through MFD with CFP Credential:

Professional Management:

Certified Financial Planners (CFPs) and Mutual Fund Distributors (MFDs) provide professional management, ensuring your investments are well-researched and diversified.

Holistic Financial Planning:

CFPs offer holistic financial planning, aligning your investments with your financial goals, risk tolerance, and time horizon.

Regular Monitoring and Rebalancing:

Professionals regularly monitor and rebalance your portfolio to ensure it remains aligned with your objectives.

Reduced Emotional Bias:

Professional management helps in reducing emotional bias, making investment decisions based on logic and analysis.

Suggested Mutual Fund Allocation
Equity Funds:

Large-Cap Funds: 40%
Mid-Cap Funds: 30%
Small-Cap Funds: 20%
Balanced/Hybrid Funds:

Balanced Funds: 10%
Summary
Compliment and Encouragement:

Your commitment to regular investing and seeking advice shows your dedication to achieving financial goals. Keep up the excellent work.

Action Plan:

Review and adjust your current SIPs to reduce overlap.
Increase allocation in large-cap and balanced funds.
Allocate additional Rs. 20,000 to diversified and balanced funds for stability and growth.
Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6995 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Aug 14, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 12, 2024Hindi
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Money
Hi Sir Kindly suggest for any modification if required as per my current investments in SIP. Currently I am investing 2.5k in each funds in below mentioned SIP. 1. Axis focused fund regular growth 2.Invesco Small cap Regular 3.Canara Robeco Small cap Regular 4.Mirae asset large cap Regular growth 5.Nippon India index fund Nifty 5. Parat parikh flexi cap fund
Ans: You're investing Rs 2.5k in six different SIPs. These funds cover a mix of large-cap, small-cap, focused, and flexi-cap categories. This diversified approach is a good starting point for balancing risk and returns. However, it's essential to assess each fund's role in your portfolio.

Fund Categorization and Allocation

Large-Cap Funds:

Large-cap funds offer stability. They focus on established companies with strong market presence.
Small-Cap Funds:

Small-cap funds provide growth potential but carry higher risk. These funds invest in emerging companies that may not be as stable.
Focused and Flexi-Cap Funds:

Focused funds invest in a limited number of stocks. This approach allows concentrated growth but with increased risk.
Flexi-cap funds provide flexibility by investing across market caps. This diversification can reduce risk.
Index Fund Consideration

You've included an index fund in your portfolio. While index funds have low management fees, they also lack the potential for outperforming the market. Actively managed funds, on the other hand, can provide higher returns, especially in volatile markets. A Certified Financial Planner can help identify funds that might outperform the index, offering better growth opportunities.

Benefits of Regular Funds Over Direct Funds

Regular funds come with the advantage of professional guidance. A Certified Financial Planner can help tailor your investments to your goals. Direct funds might save on commissions, but without expert advice, the risk of underperformance increases. The expertise of a CFP ensures your portfolio is aligned with your financial objectives.

Diversification and Risk Management

Your current portfolio is diversified across various fund categories, which helps spread risk. However, too much overlap in fund types, like small-cap funds, can increase risk unnecessarily. It's crucial to maintain a balanced allocation that aligns with your risk tolerance and financial goals.

Investment Horizon and Goals

Understanding your investment horizon is key. If you're investing for long-term goals like retirement, a mix of equity-oriented funds is suitable. For medium-term goals, consider reducing exposure to high-risk funds and adding more balanced or debt funds.

Final Insights

Review Overlap: Evaluate the overlap in your small-cap funds. Diversify across other categories for better balance.

Reconsider Index Fund: Actively managed funds may provide better growth potential. A CFP can guide you in selecting suitable alternatives.

Seek Professional Guidance: The benefits of regular funds, with expert advice, outweigh the savings from direct funds. A Certified Financial Planner can help maximize returns and manage risk.

Adjust for Goals: Align your portfolio with your financial goals. Adjust your fund allocation based on your investment horizon and risk tolerance.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |403 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 08, 2024

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6995 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Nov 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 08, 2024Hindi
Money
Iam under debt of Rs 10lac and my salary is 23k per month. How to come out from debt and i need to get debt free. So, please guide me.
Ans: Being in debt can be overwhelming, especially on a limited monthly income. But with disciplined planning and commitment, you can gradually achieve financial freedom. Here’s a detailed guide to help you pay off your Rs 10 lakh debt and build a stable financial foundation.

Step 1: Calculate Your Monthly Expenses and Set a Budget
Start by understanding your cash flow. Track every expense to get a clear picture of your spending.

Essential Expenses: These include rent, food, utilities, and any other basic needs.

Discretionary Expenses: Cut back on non-essentials like dining out, entertainment, and shopping.

Savings and Debt Repayment: Dedicate any amount left after essential expenses towards debt repayment.

Tip: Keep a written budget or use a mobile app to monitor your expenses. Reducing discretionary spending will help increase the amount available for debt repayment.

Step 2: Increase Income if Possible
Boosting income, even slightly, can significantly accelerate debt repayment. Here are some ideas:

Freelance or Part-Time Work: If possible, look for freelance work in areas you’re skilled in, like writing, tutoring, graphic design, or programming.

Overtime or Extra Shifts: If your employer offers overtime, consider taking it on to increase your income.

Sell Unwanted Items: Sell items you no longer need, such as electronics, clothes, or furniture, to generate additional cash.

Increasing your income, even temporarily, can help you pay off your debt faster.

Step 3: Create a Debt Repayment Plan
List all your debts, including outstanding amounts, interest rates, and due dates. Here are two strategies for paying them off:

Snowball Method: Pay off smaller debts first to gain momentum, then tackle larger ones. This provides psychological motivation by clearing debts faster.

Avalanche Method: Focus on debts with the highest interest rates first. This method saves more on interest in the long term.

Choose the strategy that suits you best and start making extra payments each month.

Step 4: Prioritize High-Interest Loans and EMI Payments
Debt with higher interest can escalate quickly, so prioritize clearing them first. Some common examples include:

Credit Card Debt: If part of your debt is on credit cards, try to pay it down as quickly as possible. Credit card interest rates are often the highest.

Personal Loans: If your Rs 10 lakh debt includes high-interest loans, prioritize these over lower-interest obligations.

Contact your creditors to explore if they can reduce your interest rate temporarily. Any reduction helps ease the debt burden.

Step 5: Consider Debt Consolidation Options
Debt consolidation combines multiple loans into a single, lower-interest loan, making it easier to manage. Options include:

Personal Loans: Look for a lower-interest personal loan to pay off existing debts. This can reduce the overall interest burden.

Balance Transfer: If a major portion of your debt is on a credit card, look for a card offering a low or zero-interest balance transfer option.

Be cautious of fees associated with consolidation options and make sure to do thorough research. Consolidation can simplify payments and potentially save you money on interest.

Step 6: Start a Small Emergency Fund
While repaying debt is crucial, having a small emergency fund (around Rs 5,000–Rs 10,000) can help you avoid additional debt. This fund is for unexpected expenses like medical emergencies or car repairs.

Building a small emergency cushion ensures you don’t rely on credit if unplanned expenses arise. Once your debt is cleared, you can gradually build a larger emergency fund.

Step 7: Avoid Taking on New Debt
Avoid credit cards, loans, or any new debt until you’ve repaid the current amount. New debt will delay your goal of becoming debt-free.

Instead of borrowing, prioritize saving for any purchases. Practicing patience with spending decisions will help prevent additional debt.

Step 8: Automate and Regularize Payments
Set up automated payments for your debt EMIs and monthly bills. Automation helps prevent missed payments, which can incur penalties and hurt your credit score.

If automated payments aren’t possible, set reminders to ensure timely payments.

Step 9: Track Progress and Stay Motivated
Track your progress each month and celebrate small wins, such as reaching specific milestones in debt reduction.

Seeing your debt balance decrease, even gradually, can keep you motivated.

Step 10: Seek Professional Guidance If Needed
If you feel overwhelmed, consider seeking guidance from a Certified Financial Planner (CFP). They can help you devise a structured plan tailored to your specific financial situation.

A CFP can also provide personalized advice on managing and reducing debt efficiently.

Finally
Your determination to achieve a debt-free life is commendable. By following these steps and staying disciplined, you’ll gradually pay off your debt and move toward financial freedom. Remember, small steps today will lead to a financially secure tomorrow.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6995 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Nov 08, 2024

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Money
Dear sir/Ma'am, I want to invest long term mutual fund for my daughter marriage. She is now 15 years old and i want to invest for 10 years, please advised me which mutual fund best for me. My monthly investment amount is Rs. 5000.00/- please reply soon as soon possible.
Ans: Investing for your daughter's marriage is a thoughtful goal. With 10 years to grow your investment, mutual funds offer a practical approach to help achieve this objective. A disciplined investment of Rs 5000 per month can build a substantial corpus over time. Here’s a comprehensive guide to structuring this investment for long-term success.

Choosing the Right Type of Mutual Funds
For a 10-year horizon, equity mutual funds are suitable. They have the potential for higher returns over time. Considering a diversified mix of equity categories could balance growth with stability.

Equity-Oriented Funds: With their higher growth potential, equity funds can be ideal for long-term goals like marriage. Large-cap funds or diversified equity funds with a mix of large- and mid-cap investments can provide relative stability.

Balanced or Hybrid Funds: These funds allocate a portion to both equity and debt. This approach reduces risk while still capturing growth. Hybrid funds could be a good option to add stability.

Avoid Index Funds: While index funds are popular, they lack flexibility in managing market changes. Actively managed funds, however, allow fund managers to navigate market fluctuations, potentially offering higher returns.

Benefits of Regular Funds vs. Direct Funds
When considering direct funds, you miss out on expert guidance, which is vital for long-term investments. Regular funds through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) ensure you get continuous support, fund reviews, and performance tracking. They help rebalance your portfolio when required, maximizing your returns and managing risks effectively.

SIP (Systematic Investment Plan) for Steady Growth
Setting up a monthly SIP of Rs 5000 is a practical approach. SIPs allow you to invest consistently, regardless of market highs and lows, which averages out costs over time. This approach, known as “rupee cost averaging,” helps reduce the impact of volatility.

Tax Implications on Mutual Fund Investments
Understanding tax rules on mutual funds is important.

Equity Mutual Funds: Gains above Rs 1.25 lakh attract a 12.5% tax on Long-Term Capital Gains (LTCG). Short-Term Capital Gains (STCG) are taxed at 20%.

Debt Mutual Funds: Both STCG and LTCG are taxed based on your income tax slab.

These tax rates are subject to change, so it’s crucial to monitor tax policies periodically. You may consult a tax advisor for updates and efficient tax planning.

Key Investment Tips to Reach Your Goal
Consistency: Stay disciplined with your SIPs to leverage compounding. Missing contributions can reduce the growth potential.

Regular Monitoring: Review fund performance at least once a year. This ensures the selected funds are meeting your expectations and objectives.

Professional Guidance: Consult a CFP periodically to align your investments with your financial plan. They can advise on any required adjustments to optimize your portfolio.

Adjusting for Inflation and Goal Cost
Over time, inflation will impact the cost of your daughter’s marriage. Your CFP can help you estimate the future value and adjust your SIP amount if needed. Gradually increasing the SIP amount can help you meet the target despite inflation.

Final Insights
Your commitment to this goal is commendable. By selecting the right mix of funds, maintaining discipline with SIPs, and staying informed on tax and fund performance, you’ll be well on your way to achieving the desired corpus for your daughter’s marriage.

Invest with confidence, plan regularly, and stay on track toward building a secure financial future for your family.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Radheshyam

Radheshyam Zanwar  |1033 Answers  |Ask -

MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on Nov 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 08, 2024Hindi
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Career
Hello! I am looking to change my career. Currently, I work as a DTP Operator and Graphic Designer in my maternal uncle's offsset printing press business. My father passed away 8 years ago, so my maternal uncle has taken on the responsibility of me, my mother, and my brother. I have been working under them for the past 5 years as a favor of them. However, there has been no financial growth or development in my current position. But maternal uncle asks me to continue to work with them as their childrens are out of their Offset Printing profession. So they expect me to handle the business in future. But this will not happen. Also I'm not sure of the future scope of Offset Printing Press profession due to digitization. Though my mind is telling me to change profession, as of my financial condtion is weak I would have to start again from zero. I am feeling unsure about what to do?
Ans: Hello.
Presently you are working as a DTP operator and Graphic Designer with your uncle. It seems that due to financial problems, your uncle might be taking undue advantage of your situation and taking it granted that you must work for him and his printing press as a bull for 24x7. You said, your uncle's children are not interested in running the printing press. Hence he is expecting to handle the business in the future. I think this is a golden time to negotiate with your uncle from a business point of view and put some terms and conditions in front of him. You must overtake the printing press fully in your control and share some part of the profit with him. Remember, you are young, have solid experience of 5 years and the most important thing is that, your uncle is not dependent on you only. This makes the situation in your favor. If your uncle is not ready to hand over the printing press business to you, then you have an option to search for another job and tell your uncle also in this regard. I can fairly say, your uncle will not think to lose you under any condition. In life, nothing is impossible, With the hands-on experience of 5 years, you may job in an advertising company and a reputed publishing house. Related to your insecurity feeling, even though you are working with your uncle, you are feeling insecure. Hence either force your uncle to accept your terms and conditions or leave him without any hesitation. Try with new people, new organizations, and new opportunities. A little change will make a big change in your life.
Best of luck for your bright future.

If satisfied, please like and follow me.
If dissatisfied with the reply, please ask again without hesitation.
Thanks.

Radheshyam

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |403 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 07, 2024
Relationship
I (27M) am well Educated & well settled in a High-paying Job. Tall, Handsome & Fit. I am a Sociable & Outgoing person, but I never had a Girlfriend because I believe in having an Arranged Marriage with a Girl from the same Community, who's Family background is known to Parents. I strongly believe in abstaining from any kind of Sexual Intimacy until I get Married, due to my Personal, Moral, Ethical, Emotional as well as Religious & Socio-cultural Values. I'd want to experience even my First Kiss, only after getting Married to my Life Partner. And obviously, I expect my Future Life Partner also to Share similar Values. I cannot settle for Marriage with a Girl who had Pre-marital Sex (or even Kissed) anyone else in a Romantic Relationship, prior to Marriage. I would Reject such a Girl, however Beautiful, Well-Educated & Well-Earning she might be (all other Qualities being Subjective). Now, my Family has started looking up suitable Brides for me, within my Community. The Problem is that most Girls of our Community, in this Generation, are Well Educated & Financially Independent, staying in Cities, away from Parents & most of them, probably had Romantic Relationship(s) & experienced Physical Intimacy, at any Base Level. I know this by closely observing & discussing with many Girls of my Community (including my Female Cousins, Female Friends & Neighbours etc). They all are ridiculing me for my Preferences & advising me to forsake my Values, as they are Outdated in this Age. Now, I am Worried that I might never get to Marry a Girl who shares my Values. My greatest Fear is not ending up Unmarried, but getting Married to a Woman who lies about her Past (I consider it as Cheating). Can you please advise me on, how can I be absolutely Sure that a Girl is an Un-Kissed Virgin? How do I bring up this topic with any Girl before Marriage & ask her, without coming off as Creepy? How can I be Sure whether the Girl is being absolutely Honest about her Past or not? What are some other ways to find out about the Past of a Girl, apart from having an open conversation with herself? Please advise me regarding this, my Heart is not letting me foresake my Values, which are my Core Principles. I am willing to compromise on some other Qualities i.e., I'd happily settle down with a Girl who's Below Average in terms of Looks, Education & even Unemployed, as long as I can be Sure that she's an Un-Kissed Virgin. How can I be absolutely Sure of that?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You don't have to forsake your values based on others' opinions of it. If it makes you happy, you should stick to it. Having said that, you cannot force the same values on others. I understand you want a partner who has a similar mindset. The only way to get what you want is an open conversation- when you speak to a match, you can open up about your outlook and clear it from your end that you want the exact same values in your partner and politely request them to reject the alliance if she has any past relationships or has been intimate with anyone in any form. Let her know that you are not judging her, but this part is very important for you. Make it about yourself, because it is. Do not let the woman feel that there is some flaw in her, or start investigating her past.

Now, coming to your other query, how to be absolutely sure that she is telling the truth about her experiences- there is no such technique. You have to trust her. Moreover, you should understand that as much as you believe your values are important, trust in your partner is equally important in having a healthy and happy relationship. While you work on finding the partner of your choice, work on having a little more faith in people.
Hope this helps.

Best Wishes

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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