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Vivek

Vivek Lala  |301 Answers  |Ask -

Tax, MF Expert - Answered on Jan 23, 2024

Vivek Lala has been working as a tax planner since 2018. His expertise lies in making personalised tax budgets and tax forecasts for individuals. As a tax advisor, he takes pride in simplifying tax complications for his clients using simple, easy-to-understand language.
Lala cleared his chartered accountancy exam in 2018 and completed his articleship with Chaturvedi and Shah. ... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jan 11, 2024Hindi
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Money

I have rs 500000/- with me,I want to invest in mutual fund lumpsum,which is best for 2 years period

Ans: Hello,
2 yrs is a very short duration for a pure equity oriented mutual fund, so you can go for something with debt i.e debt hybrid, BAF, asset allocation funds
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6991 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 06, 2024Hindi
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Money
I want to invest Lumpsum of 5 lac in mutual fund, please suggest
Ans: Investing a lump sum of 5 lakhs in mutual funds offers an opportunity to diversify your portfolio and potentially enhance long-term returns. Here's a suggested allocation tailored to your investment objectives and risk profile:

Equity Funds (70%):
Large Cap Fund (30%):

Large-cap funds invest in well-established, stable companies with a track record of consistent performance. They offer stability and moderate growth potential. Consider reputable funds with a consistent track record of delivering returns over the long term.
Mid Cap Fund (20%):

Mid-cap funds invest in companies with medium market capitalization, offering higher growth potential than large caps but with slightly higher risk. Choose funds managed by experienced fund managers with a focus on quality stocks and robust risk management practices.
Flexi Cap Fund (20%):

Flexi-cap funds provide the flexibility to invest across market capitalizations based on prevailing market conditions. They offer diversification and adaptability, making them suitable for long-term wealth creation goals.
Debt Funds (30%):
Short Duration Fund (15%):

Short-duration funds invest in debt and money market instruments with a duration typically ranging from 1 to 3 years. They offer relatively stable returns with lower interest rate risk compared to long-duration funds.
Dynamic Bond Fund (15%):

Dynamic bond funds dynamically adjust their portfolio duration based on interest rate outlook. They offer potential for higher returns than short-duration funds while managing interest rate risk effectively.
Considerations:
Risk Tolerance: Assess your risk tolerance before finalizing your investment allocation. Equity funds carry higher risk but also offer the potential for higher returns over the long term.

Time Horizon: Since you're considering lump sum investment, ensure you have a sufficiently long investment horizon to ride out market fluctuations and benefit from the power of compounding.

Diversification: Spread your investments across different asset classes and fund categories to mitigate risk and optimize returns. Regularly review your portfolio's performance and rebalance if necessary.

Professional Guidance:
Consider consulting with a Certified Financial Planner to validate your investment strategy and ensure it aligns with your financial goals, risk tolerance, and time horizon. A CFP can provide personalized recommendations and help you optimize your portfolio for long-term wealth accumulation.

Conclusion:
By diversifying your lump sum investment across equity and debt funds, you can potentially achieve your financial goals while managing risk effectively. Stay committed to your investment strategy, review your portfolio periodically, and seek professional guidance when needed to maximize wealth creation potential.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6991 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 29, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 29, 2024Hindi
Money
I want to invest 50000 in lump sum for 4 to 5 years with moderate risk . which mutual fund is best for this ?
Ans: Assessing Lump Sum Investment Options

Investing Rs 50,000 in a lump sum for a 4 to 5-year period with moderate risk requires careful consideration. You aim for reasonable returns without taking excessive risks. Let’s explore some suitable mutual fund options and strategies.

Understanding Your Investment Horizon

A 4 to 5-year investment horizon allows for a mix of equity and debt investments. This blend can provide growth while managing risk. It's essential to choose funds that align with your time frame and risk tolerance.

Balanced or Hybrid Funds

Balanced or hybrid funds invest in both equity and debt instruments. This mix aims to provide growth while reducing volatility. They are ideal for investors seeking moderate risk.

Benefits of Balanced or Hybrid Funds
Diversification: These funds invest in a mix of equity and debt, providing diversification.
Risk Management: The debt portion helps manage risk while the equity portion offers growth potential.
Stable Returns: Historically, balanced funds have provided stable returns over medium-term horizons.
Types of Balanced or Hybrid Funds

Aggressive Hybrid Funds: These funds invest around 65-80% in equities and the rest in debt. They offer higher growth potential with moderate risk.
Conservative Hybrid Funds: These funds invest around 10-25% in equities and the rest in debt. They are less risky and provide steady returns.
Debt Funds for Stability

Debt funds are another option for moderate risk investors. They invest in fixed-income securities like government bonds, corporate bonds, and money market instruments.

Benefits of Debt Funds
Low Volatility: Debt funds are less volatile than equity funds, providing more stable returns.
Capital Preservation: These funds focus on preserving capital while providing regular income.
Suitability for Medium-Term: Debt funds are suitable for a 4 to 5-year investment horizon.
Types of Debt Funds

Short-Term Debt Funds: These funds invest in securities with shorter maturity periods. They offer stability and lower risk.
Corporate Bond Funds: These funds invest in high-quality corporate bonds. They provide higher returns than government securities but come with slightly higher risk.
Dynamic Bond Funds: These funds actively manage the duration of their portfolio. They adjust based on interest rate movements to optimize returns.
Multi-Asset Allocation Funds

Multi-Asset Allocation Funds invest in multiple asset classes like equity, debt, and gold. This diversification helps manage risk while aiming for growth.

Benefits of Multi-Asset Allocation Funds
Diversification Across Asset Classes: These funds invest in various asset classes, reducing risk.
Balanced Approach: They balance the portfolio to optimize returns and manage volatility.
Flexibility: Fund managers can shift allocations based on market conditions.
Selecting the Right Fund

Choosing the right fund involves evaluating your risk tolerance, investment horizon, and financial goals. Here are some factors to consider:

Historical Performance: Look at the fund's performance over different market cycles. Consistent performance indicates good fund management.
Fund Manager’s Track Record: A fund manager’s experience and track record play a crucial role in the fund’s performance.
Expense Ratio: Lower expense ratios can lead to better net returns. Compare expense ratios among similar funds.
Credit Quality (for Debt Funds): Ensure the debt fund invests in high-quality securities to minimize credit risk.
Benefits of Mutual Funds Over Direct Stocks

Investing in mutual funds offers several advantages over direct stock investments, especially for those seeking moderate risk and stable returns.

Professional Management
Mutual funds are managed by professional fund managers with expertise in market analysis and stock selection. They have the resources to conduct thorough research, which individual investors might lack.

Diversification
Mutual funds provide diversification by investing in a wide range of securities. This reduces the impact of poor performance by any single stock, lowering overall portfolio risk.

Risk Management
Mutual funds, especially hybrid and debt funds, are designed to manage risk. They allocate assets strategically to balance growth and stability.

Convenience
Investing in mutual funds is convenient. It requires less time and effort compared to managing a portfolio of individual stocks. This is ideal for investors who may not have the time or expertise to monitor the market closely.

Systematic Investment Options
Mutual funds offer systematic investment options like SIPs and SWPs, promoting disciplined investing. These options help in regular investing and withdrawing funds systematically.

Reinvesting in Mutual Funds

Given the benefits of mutual funds, it might be wise to reinvest in them. Here’s how you can approach this:

Diversified Equity Funds: Consider investing in diversified equity funds for growth potential. These funds invest across various sectors and market capitalizations.
Balanced or Hybrid Funds: Balanced or hybrid funds offer a mix of equity and debt, providing growth potential with reduced risk.
Debt Funds for Stability: Allocate a portion of your investment to debt funds for capital preservation and steady income.
Multi-Asset Allocation Funds: These funds provide exposure to multiple asset classes, offering a balanced approach to risk and return.
Consulting a Certified Financial Planner

A Certified Financial Planner (CFP) can provide personalized advice based on your financial goals and risk tolerance. They can help you evaluate your current portfolio and suggest adjustments. A CFP can also assist in creating a diversified investment strategy tailored to your needs.

Regular Portfolio Review

Performance Monitoring: Regularly monitor the performance of your investments. Adjust your portfolio based on market conditions and personal goals.
Rebalancing: Periodically rebalance your portfolio to maintain the desired asset allocation. This helps in managing risk and optimizing returns.
Goal Alignment: Ensure your investments align with your financial goals. Adjust your strategy if there are changes in your goals or financial situation.
Conclusion

Investing Rs 50,000 in a lump sum for a 4 to 5-year period can be optimized by choosing the right mutual funds. Balanced or hybrid funds, debt funds, and multi-asset allocation funds are suitable options for moderate risk. These funds offer professional management, diversification, and convenience, making them ideal for achieving your financial goals. Consulting a Certified Financial Planner can provide personalized guidance to optimize your investment strategy.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6991 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Oct 15, 2024

Money
Sir, which are the best mutual fund to invest now in lumpsum for 2 years?
Ans: Investing in mutual funds for a short-term period of 2 years requires a careful approach. While mutual funds can offer good returns, the short-term horizon calls for a more conservative strategy. Here’s a breakdown of the best types of funds to consider for a 2-year lumpsum investment:

Consider Low-Risk Options
For a 2-year period, capital preservation is key. Opt for debt-oriented funds or hybrid funds. Equity exposure is risky due to potential market volatility.

Debt funds are relatively safer for such a short horizon. These include ultra-short duration funds, short-term debt funds, or banking and PSU funds. These funds invest in government securities, corporate bonds, and other fixed-income instruments that have low credit risk and provide stable returns.

Hybrid funds are another good option if you’re willing to take a little more risk. These funds invest in a mix of equity and debt, providing some equity exposure for higher returns while keeping risk in check with debt instruments.

Keep in mind that equity-based funds should be avoided for such short-term goals as they tend to have higher volatility. The risk of losing capital in a two-year period is significant, and market corrections can adversely affect your investment.

Be Mindful of Liquidity
Liquidity is important in short-term investments. Choose funds that offer quick redemption without high exit loads. Debt funds generally have better liquidity than long-term equity funds.

If you’re sure that you won’t need the funds for two years, consider ultra-short duration funds or short-term bond funds with high liquidity and minimal lock-in periods.

Analyse Tax Efficiency
Mutual fund investments are taxed based on the type of fund and the holding period. For a two-year investment horizon, taxation can have a considerable impact on your overall returns.

Equity mutual funds: For a holding period of less than one year, short-term capital gains (STCG) are taxed at 20%. If held for over one year but under two years, long-term capital gains (LTCG) above Rs. 1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5%.

Debt mutual funds: For holding periods less than three years, short-term capital gains are taxed as per your income tax slab. Therefore, for debt funds, your gains will be added to your taxable income and taxed accordingly.

Invest in tax-efficient instruments like debt funds for lower tax impact over this period.

Regular Funds vs. Direct Funds
When investing through a mutual fund distributor (MFD) with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) credential, you get professional advice that helps you choose the right funds. This guidance can ensure better fund selection, suited to your goals.

Direct funds may have lower expense ratios but require a deep understanding of market dynamics and fund performance. Without proper guidance, the risks associated with direct fund investments could outweigh the potential cost savings.

For long-term success, it’s better to invest in regular funds through a trusted MFD.

Market Conditions and Flexibility
The current market conditions should also guide your decision. Since the market can fluctuate, opting for conservative funds helps shield your capital from sudden downturns. However, if you’re willing to take on slightly more risk, hybrid funds could offer better returns without overexposing your investment to the market's volatility.

Keep Your Financial Goals in Mind
It’s important to assess your financial goals before making any lumpsum investment. Since your investment horizon is only 2 years, the primary focus should be on protecting your capital and earning modest returns.

Avoid Index Funds
Index funds track a specific index and do not actively manage the investment to mitigate risks or adjust to market conditions. This means that they may not be the best choice for a short-term investment of 2 years. Actively managed funds, such as debt and hybrid funds, offer better control over risks and can provide more stable returns within this time frame.

Risk Assessment
Debt funds and hybrid funds come with relatively low risks compared to equity funds. However, it’s important to note that even these carry some level of interest rate risk and credit risk. Choosing funds with high-quality bonds and low credit risk is crucial for safeguarding your investment over two years.

If you have a low-risk appetite, sticking to ultra-short duration or short-term debt funds is advisable. These funds typically invest in securities with shorter maturity periods, making them less sensitive to interest rate fluctuations and providing better capital protection.

For those with moderate risk tolerance, hybrid funds can provide slightly higher returns while still keeping your capital relatively safe. These funds balance equity and debt exposure, allowing for some capital appreciation while limiting volatility.

Final Insights
For your 2-year investment horizon, opt for debt or hybrid funds. These funds focus on capital preservation and provide reasonable returns with lower risk compared to equity-focused funds.

Short-term investments require a cautious approach, and selecting funds with high liquidity and low risk will help you achieve your financial goals within this timeframe. Be mindful of taxation on mutual fund gains and always seek guidance from a Certified Financial Planner to make informed decisions.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1283 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 06, 2024
Relationship
Hi Anu, i am 34 year old woman married to a 41 year old man. We are married for past 10 years. We had no sexual relationship for first 5 years, after lot of pestering and fights and realisation that there must a physical problem at my husband’s end i convinced him to visit an expert in this domain. Turns out he had low testosterone level. He took the necessary medication and i really tried for 1 year to make it work. It worked to a certain extent but it was more like a chore than something we really want to do. Then we decided that we should go for a baby as well while we are at it. Now my daughter is 2.5. Things never got better. We don’t talk about our lack of any intimacy physical or mental. We are living like roommates. He is the best husband a person can ask for on paper. My parents love him. He is the nicest guy. But in reality we never had any connection and no comparability. And whatever attraction and love i had for him in the beginning is lost completely. I have no idea what goes on his mind. He is a closed book i could never open. He accepts the problem but blames me too if i force him to open up. I am in such a bad place mentally. I keep thinking about the one life i got, i wasted it. Why did i get married so soon? I like someone in office who i have no future with because he is in some other country. I do not know what to do and how to live my life. I get thoughts that life should not be so long.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
A case where the person shuts down because he carries the guilt of what is happening to him and what he is facing...not a very useful way of dealing with the situation but when society has drummed it into us that a 'man' is defined by his masculine traits and behaviors, can you blame him for it?
He is possibly embarrassed and this could be a reason for him 'closing down' within the marriage. He needs to be slowly cajoled out of what he is feeling...What the two of you could do is: start the marriage as though it is Day One...
Now, how would the two of you connect? How would things be different?
It is an attempt to reconnect with no past baggage which helps in focusing on each other in the present day. That helps in making good solid commitments to one another but of course, there has to be a lot of communication in this process. Do take the help of a professional if this feels too much to go through by yourselves.
And as for the colleague; hmmmm grass on the other side will always seem greener!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Kanchan Rai  |398 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 17, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Mam i love a boy.. Who is 2 yr younger then me and... Now he is preparing for jE.. Post and... My parents worry about my marriage... I told him about this.... He is craying... So much... He love s me very much.... He don't tell about this relationship.....to his parents.. Because he dont have any.... Job..... What should i do mam.... Plz.... Tell me... Mamm plzzz
Ans: First, have an honest conversation with him about what both of you realistically can and cannot do right now. Since he is still working on his future and you feel pressure from your family, try to think about how much time he might need to reach a stable point. Then, consider whether waiting for him is something that is possible for you and acceptable to your family.

It might also be helpful to have a calm conversation with your parents, expressing your feelings for him while being open about the current situation. Sometimes parents worry because they don’t know the full picture. Explaining that he is working hard toward his career goals may give them a better understanding. You could also ask them if they’d be willing to wait for some time before making any decisions on your marriage, if they feel comfortable with that.

If waiting is not possible and your family pressures you to consider other options, it’s important to think about your own long-term happiness and make the best choice for you. These situations are never easy, but by staying honest with yourself and your family, you will be able to make a decision that respects both your love and your future stability.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |398 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 22, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hello, There is a woman in my office working in my department. She is my friend's wife and was referred by me for this job. We get to work closely often, but we both make opportunities to get to work together. Most of our time spent is on work related items, with few minutes of casual chats, and we both have spent a lot of time alone in office, working extra hours and all. I have a feeling that I am starting to yearn to spend time with her on work and she also tries to be around me. We both text outside of office hours, share a lot of "inside" jokes and we both look to be enjoying the time together. I am in a confused state because it looks like she is giving me a lot of signs to move forward to next levels, but I am pulling back and not advancing. We both are married and have families. Any advice?
Ans: To manage this, start by gently reinforcing professional boundaries. While it may feel awkward initially, limiting the personal, non-work-related conversations and texts can create some emotional distance. This will not only help reduce feelings of attachment but also prevent misunderstandings or assumptions from developing on either side. At the same time, it may be beneficial to reflect on your own life and current relationships. Often, feelings that arise outside our primary relationship can signal needs or emotions that might require attention within our existing commitments.

Redirecting your focus back to your own relationship with your spouse and engaging in activities that strengthen that bond can bring a renewed appreciation for the life you have built. Rekindling affection, open communication, and connection with your spouse could help provide a sense of fulfillment that might reduce the attraction you’re feeling toward your colleague.

It may also help to remind yourself of the potential risks involved, not only to your family life but also to your professional reputation and friendships. By focusing on maintaining a respectful, professional, and appropriate connection, you’re honoring both your commitments and protecting the integrity of all relationships involved. Choosing not to act on these feelings will ultimately support the stability of your personal life and career, allowing you to maintain a healthy and professional environment at work.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |398 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 09, 2024Hindi
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Hi I brought up from a middle class family now I'm married and having 3 yrs kid, my younger brother recently got married! Ever since his marg there was a problem going on between my mom, brother and her wife , all the 3 of them bringing their problems to me and husband it creates a huge impact on my mental health due to their problems, if I try to resolve nobody is listening, I'm staying nearby my parents which is a big disadvantage, directly it's affecting me and my family? I don't know how to overcome from this type of issue
Ans: A compassionate but firm boundary can make a difference here. For instance, you could gently explain to your mother, brother, and his wife that while you understand and empathize with their challenges, you’re finding it difficult to handle all the tension that arises from these discussions. You might let them know that, for the sake of your own mental health and family well-being, you need to step back from being involved in any discussions about their conflicts.

If they do come to you with their concerns, try gently redirecting them, perhaps by suggesting that they talk directly to each other or even consider family counseling if they’re open to it. Remind them that only they can solve these issues by communicating directly, rather than relying on you as a mediator. Over time, they may begin to understand that their repeated involvement of you is not a productive solution.

Creating some physical and emotional space is key. If living nearby is heightening the tension, consider adjusting how often you interact in person. Focusing more on your own family’s peace, stability, and happiness will also help. It may feel challenging at first, but taking steps to protect your boundaries will benefit everyone, and gradually, they may even recognize the need to work out these issues themselves without depending on you.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |398 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 10, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi ma’am, I am a 27 year old girl. My father is a very strict person. Since childhood I have tolerated many things like I was not allowed to make friends(not even girls, forgot about boys). When I was 12 years old I was told that I was not allowed to talk to boys, and if my father ever saw me doing so, he will kill me. So, I was not allowed to talk to any friend, forget about going out and other stuff. All I used to do is sit in my room and study,I was not allowed to go out to play, wasn’t allowed to watch tv, not even allowed to go and play with cousins. Even if there was a wedding in my family, i was not allowed to go out and enjoy. And this has continued till date. I am still not allowed to go out without my father’s permission. Although I live in Bengaluru and work in a big company with a high paying job. Even the salary I get is not mine. Because my father takes it from me and I can’t say no to him. I use to say to me that if I ever did anything which he thinks is wrong, he will kill me, or will not allow me to go to college and now he will not allow me to work. And now he want me to get married to someone of his choice because of caste system. But I have a boyfriend and I want to marry my him. But I can’t even tell this to my father, because once I tell him this, he will not allow me to leave the house ever again and he would get me married to next person he finds. I am very scared of him. I don’t want to get married to anyone but my boyfriend. What should I do? Should I run away and get married to my boyfriend. I don’t know what my father will do then. He is a very controlling person .
Ans: To start, consider small steps that allow you to establish a greater sense of independence. Setting aside a portion of your income in an account only you can access, even if done quietly, can help you prepare financially for the future you envision with your boyfriend. Gaining control over your finances can also give you a greater sense of autonomy, which is key for your emotional and practical well-being.

Considering your father’s intense reaction to any choices that don’t align with his, safety is a priority. Consulting with a therapist or a counselor could help you process the emotional impact of your experiences and, importantly, develop strategies for how to approach this situation. Speaking to a counselor may also help you find a safe way to discuss your relationship with your father and express your own wishes while understanding any resources that might be available to you if needed.

If, ultimately, you decide to move forward with your relationship and marriage independently of your father’s permission, preparing yourself for potential emotional fallout is essential. While it’s natural to hope for family acceptance, remember that creating your own happiness is equally important. Over time, if your father can see that you’re stable, happy, and independent, he may eventually respect your decision.

Taking steps toward your own life may feel overwhelming, but with support and gradual changes, you can find a path that balances your love for your family with your need for self-respect, autonomy, and a future that you choose.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |398 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 01, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi mam, I am in a 14 year old relationship with a man, the relationship is quite healthy until now, but our families are not accepting for marriage. Since his parents are divorced and her elder sister to. Everyone in my family is against this marriage and not one person is supporting it, but we truly love each other. Even the boy does, and he is doing everything he can for a mutual acceptance. There is no divorce history in my family till date. So sometimes, even I get sceptical about taking this relationship forward as I understand the seriousness of marriage, but I also understand that there is attachment, love, commitment, duration, everything involved in this 14 year old relationship which will make it very hard to accept someone else in place of him, so basically, I want to marry the guy, but not his family I know that’s not possible, but then what should I do? Should I just take the step forward with total faith in the man, or should I marry somewhere else where everything is great, only love will be unsure. The man has connections with both his parents and there is no custody involved. In this case. He is in a good relationship with both the parents, although he lives with his mother and sister.
Ans: Fourteen years is a profound commitment, and the fact that both of you have nurtured such a bond reflects a solid foundation that’s not easy to find or replicate. The conflict seems to lie mainly in your family’s fears and cultural values around marriage and their concern about potential patterns in relationships. This is an understandable reaction from them, given the uniqueness of his family background compared to what they’ve experienced.

It’s natural for you to feel torn, especially since you value your family’s approval and understand the complexities that can arise in marriage. While family acceptance can provide a comforting support system, there are instances when it doesn’t fully align with one’s own heart. Marrying him would mean choosing to rely primarily on each other, despite family reservations, which could require extra resilience and patience as you move forward together. Since he has strong relationships with both parents, it may be reassuring that he has a healthy view of family, despite their past. This could suggest that he has personal maturity and the ability to build a stable, loving relationship with you.

At the same time, your family’s perspective doesn’t necessarily mean there’s any curse or pattern that would carry over into your marriage. The key to deciding might be to look at the qualities he brings to the relationship, how both of you handle challenges, and whether he brings stability, honesty, and emotional support. The longevity and health of your relationship are positive indicators, and if both of you have open communication about potential concerns—like how family dynamics might play a role in the future—you’ll likely be prepared to face those hurdles together.

You’re faced with a decision that balances taking a leap of faith with the potential for some family disappointment. If he is the partner with whom you see a fulfilling life, the choice to marry might ultimately come down to what feels right to you, independent of family fears. Love, trust, and understanding—especially those that withstand the test of time—are incredibly powerful foundations. So, if you believe in the strength of your bond and feel you could weather any storm together, choosing him could be a step toward building the kind of family you truly want, even if it’s unconventional by your family’s standards.

But if you’re still unsure, taking time to express all these feelings to him, to explore your shared values and long-term goals, and to be absolutely sure of the life you want to build can help reinforce whichever path feels right for you.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |398 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 07, 2024
Relationship
Maam In last question of mine you told me that im taking meaning out of a friendly casual conversation. I may be doing so but I tried to ignore that guy but he is still staring at me and roaming around my house. What does that mean.???? Im not seeking attention from him. He himself is giving intense looks and appearing from no where. Our kids are in same school so I cant avoid seeing him. Its just not possible but i try not to give him.attention but he coming in front of me for no reason. Giving me suggestions about my child when I have not even asked him.anything.
Ans: One possibility here could be that he genuinely believes he’s being friendly and is unaware that his actions might be coming across as intrusive. Some people aren’t as skilled at reading subtle social cues or may interpret polite responses as openness to further interaction. Another scenario could be that he’s misinterpreting a simple acquaintanceship as an invitation for more personal connection, especially if he hasn’t recognized your signals for wanting distance.

It’s also possible, especially if he’s trying to advise you about your child, that he’s viewing himself as helpful or knowledgeable—again, likely without realizing he’s crossing a line. If he’s repeatedly making intense eye contact or appearing at odd times, it may also reflect a need for attention or connection on his part, even if it’s unintentional.

If this behavior continues and your efforts to distance yourself subtly aren’t working, it might be time to consider setting a gentle but clear boundary. This can be done with nonverbal cues, like quickly redirecting your gaze or finding reasons to leave a situation as soon as he tries to initiate a conversation. However, if his presence continues to bother you, there’s no harm in being more direct. A polite but firm approach, like thanking him for his advice and mentioning that you’d prefer to handle things yourself, can send a message that you’re not looking for further involvement.

Your well-being and comfort come first, and your instincts are valid. If his behavior is persistent and truly uncomfortable, it may be best to acknowledge it internally and remind yourself that you’re under no obligation to respond or interact beyond what feels right for you.

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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