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How to plan for retirement with Rs.1.88 lakh monthly income at 36?

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6991 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 22, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jul 22, 2024Hindi
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Sir, I have a net salary of 1.88lac per month and my age is 36. PPF - 3.5lacs, MF - 12lac market value, Home Loan - 38Lac. In MFs, tax planning MFs market value are 9lac and remaining amount is in small cap, large cap. Could you please let me know the plans for retirement?

Ans: Current Financial Situation
You have a net salary of Rs 1.88 lakh per month.

You are 36 years old.

Your PPF balance is Rs 3.5 lakh.

Your mutual funds have a market value of Rs 12 lakh.

Your home loan outstanding is Rs 38 lakh.

In your mutual funds, Rs 9 lakh is in tax planning funds.

The remaining amount is in small cap and large cap funds.

Retirement Goals
Assessing Retirement Needs
Determine your retirement age.

Estimate the monthly income you will need post-retirement.

Consider inflation to ensure your income maintains purchasing power.

Building a Retirement Corpus
Your current investments and savings need to grow.

Aim to create a diversified investment portfolio.

This will provide stability and growth.

Investment Strategy
Mutual Funds
You have invested in tax planning and other mutual funds.

Consider moving from tax planning funds to diversified equity funds.

This provides better growth potential.

Actively Managed Funds
Avoid index funds.

Actively managed funds offer better returns with professional management.

They can outperform the market and provide higher growth.

Regular Funds
Avoid direct funds.

Regular funds provide professional management.

Investing through a certified financial planner ensures expert advice.

Debt Management
Home Loan
You have a home loan of Rs 38 lakh.

Consider prepaying part of the loan.

This reduces the interest burden.

Use bonuses or extra income for prepayment.

Balanced Approach
Maintain a balance between debt repayment and investments.

Do not use all surplus funds for prepayment.

Ensure enough investment for retirement corpus growth.

Diversified Portfolio
Asset Allocation
Diversify investments across equity, debt, and fixed income.

This reduces risk and increases stability.

Equity Funds
Continue investing in large and small cap funds.

Consider adding mid cap and flexi cap funds.

This provides better growth opportunities.

Debt Funds
Include debt funds for stability.

They provide regular income and reduce overall portfolio risk.

PPF and Fixed Income
Continue investing in PPF.

Consider adding other fixed income instruments.

These provide safety and assured returns.

Insurance and Emergency Fund
Life Insurance
Ensure adequate life insurance cover.

A term plan with sufficient coverage is recommended.

Health Insurance
Ensure you have a comprehensive health insurance policy.

This covers medical expenses and protects savings.

Emergency Fund
Maintain an emergency fund.

This should cover 6-12 months of expenses.

Use liquid funds or savings accounts for this purpose.

Monitoring and Review
Regular Review
Review your investment portfolio regularly.

Make adjustments based on market conditions and personal goals.

Professional Guidance
Seek advice from a certified financial planner.

They provide expert guidance and ensure your goals are on track.

Final Insights
You have a good start towards your retirement planning.

Ensure a balanced and diversified portfolio.

Focus on both growth and stability.

Regular reviews and professional guidance are crucial.

Prepay your home loan strategically.

Maintain adequate insurance and an emergency fund.

These steps will help you achieve a secure and comfortable retirement.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6991 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 30, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 22, 2024Hindi
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Money
Sir, I have a net salary of 1.88lac per month and my age is 36(Female). PPF - 3.5lacs, MF - 12lac market value, Home Loan - 38Lac. In MFs, tax planning MFs market value are 9lac and remaining amount is in small cap, large cap. Could you please let me know the plans for retirement?
Ans: Current Financial Overview
Your financial situation looks stable. Let's break down your current status:

Net Salary: Rs 1.88 lakh per month
PPF: Rs 3.5 lakh
MF: Rs 12 lakh (including Rs 9 lakh in tax planning MFs)
Home Loan: Rs 38 lakh
These figures give us a good starting point for planning your retirement.

Assessing Your Financial Goals
You need to focus on retirement planning. At 36, you have ample time to grow your wealth. Let's aim for a comfortable retirement.

Diversify Your Investments
Mutual Funds:

Active vs Passive: Actively managed funds can outperform. They offer better returns than index funds due to professional management.

Regular vs Direct: Regular funds are beneficial. They provide expert advice and better management through a Certified Financial Planner.

Tax Planning Funds: Continue with tax planning MFs. They help in saving tax and growing wealth.

Small and Large Cap Funds: Diversify within these. Ensure you balance risk and reward.

Public Provident Fund (PPF):

Increase Contributions: PPF offers tax benefits and steady returns. Aim to contribute the maximum limit annually.
Managing Your Home Loan
Home Loan Repayment:

Prioritize Repayment: Focus on reducing your home loan burden. Allocate a portion of your income to prepay the loan. This will reduce interest over time.
Building a Retirement Corpus
Estimate Required Corpus:

Future Planning: Assess your future needs. Consider inflation and lifestyle changes. Estimate how much you need for a comfortable retirement.
Systematic Investment Plan (SIP):

Increase SIP Contributions: Invest systematically in MFs. SIPs provide disciplined investing and rupee cost averaging. They are ideal for long-term goals like retirement.
Emergency Fund:

Build an Emergency Fund: Set aside funds for emergencies. This ensures financial stability without disrupting your investment plan.
Health and Insurance Coverage
Health Insurance:

Adequate Coverage: Ensure you have sufficient health insurance. This protects your savings in case of medical emergencies.
Life Insurance:

Review Policies: Check your life insurance coverage. Ensure it is adequate to protect your family’s future.
Review and Rebalance Portfolio
Regular Reviews:

Monitor Investments: Regularly review your portfolio. Adjust based on market conditions and personal goals.

Rebalance Portfolio: Ensure your investments are aligned with your risk tolerance and retirement goals.

Final Insights
Planning for retirement requires a holistic approach. Diversify your investments, manage your liabilities, and regularly review your financial plan. By taking these steps, you can ensure a secure and comfortable retirement.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6991 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 25, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 24, 2024Hindi
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Money
Hello I am Avneesh, My age is 48 years, I am single and my monthly income is approx. 1.5 lakh, I have no loan and any liability. I have 31 lakh in Shares , approx 30 lakh in PPF, 10 lakh in mutual fund , approx 29 lakh in saving. I want to retire in next 2 years . what will my financial plan for retirement income of 60,0000 to 70,000 per month
Ans: You are 48 years old and plan to retire in 2 years.

You are single with no loans or liabilities.

Your monthly income is approximately Rs 1.5 lakh.

You have Rs 31 lakh in shares, approximately Rs 30 lakh in PPF, Rs 10 lakh in mutual funds, and approximately Rs 29 lakh in savings.

Your goal is to have a monthly retirement income of Rs 60,000 to Rs 70,000.

Current Financial Assets

Shares: Rs 31 lakh

PPF: Rs 30 lakh

Mutual Funds: Rs 10 lakh

Savings: Rs 29 lakh

Total: Rs 100 lakh (Rs 1 crore)

Retirement Income Strategy

Fixed Income Investments

Allocate a portion of your savings to fixed income investments.

Consider options like fixed deposits, senior citizen savings schemes, and government bonds.

These provide stable and predictable income.

Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP) in Mutual Funds

Use mutual funds to set up a SWP.

This allows you to withdraw a fixed amount monthly.

Invest in a mix of equity and debt funds for balanced growth.

Annuities

Consider purchasing an annuity for guaranteed income.

Annuities provide regular payments for life.

Choose the annuity that best fits your needs.

Dividend-Paying Stocks

Invest in high-quality dividend-paying stocks.

Dividends provide a regular income stream.

Focus on stable companies with a history of consistent dividends.

Asset Allocation and Diversification

Equity and Debt Balance

Maintain a balanced portfolio of equity and debt.

Equity provides growth, while debt offers stability.

A 40:60 equity to debt ratio can be considered.

Diversification

Diversify investments across different asset classes.

This reduces risk and ensures steady returns.

Review and adjust your portfolio regularly.

Building the Retirement Corpus

Additional Investments

Continue contributing to your PPF and mutual funds for the next 2 years.

Increase SIP contributions if possible.

Aim to grow your retirement corpus further.

Emergency Fund

Maintain an emergency fund equal to 6-12 months of expenses.

Keep this fund in a liquid savings account or short-term FD.

This fund provides financial security for unforeseen events.

Health Insurance

Ensure you have adequate health insurance coverage.

Review and update your health insurance policy.

Consider additional coverage for critical illnesses.

Estate Planning

Plan for the distribution of your assets.

Consider writing a will and setting up a trust.

Ensure your assets are passed on according to your wishes.

Regular Review and Adjustment

Review your financial plan every six months.

Adjust based on market conditions and personal circumstances.

Consult a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) for professional advice.

Final Insights

With careful planning, you can achieve a comfortable retirement.

Allocate your assets wisely between equity, debt, and fixed income investments.

Consider setting up a SWP and investing in dividend-paying stocks.

Maintain an emergency fund and ensure adequate health insurance.

Review and adjust your financial plan regularly.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6991 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Aug 19, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 18, 2024Hindi
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Money
Hello Sir, I am 46, earning around 2.35L/month after all deductions and don't have any liability like Home Loan, Currently I am investing 55K/month in MF (HDFC MidCap Opportunity, Quant Active, Quant FlexiCap, Nippon SmallCap, HDFC Top100 Growth) and having around 10L in MF. PPF, NPS and PF is having around 50L. Need a corpus of 5 Cr in next 10 to 12 years. Kindly suggest better planning for retirement.
Ans: At 46 years old, you have a clear goal: a Rs. 5 crore corpus in the next 10 to 12 years. Your current investments and income provide a strong foundation, but fine-tuning your strategy will help you reach your target efficiently.

Current Investment Strategy
Mutual Funds:

You are investing Rs. 55,000 per month in mutual funds, focusing on a mix of mid-cap, flexi-cap, small-cap, and large-cap funds.
Your current mutual fund corpus is Rs. 10 lakh, which is a good start.
PPF, NPS, and PF:

Your combined PPF, NPS, and PF amount to Rs. 50 lakh. These are safe investments, offering moderate returns with tax benefits.
Assessing Your Goals
Given your goal of Rs. 5 crore in 10 to 12 years, a disciplined approach is crucial. Your existing investments are diverse, but focusing on the right allocation and increasing your SIPs could make a significant difference.

Recommendations for Better Planning
Increase SIP Contributions:

If possible, consider increasing your SIP from Rs. 55,000 to Rs. 70,000 per month. This will help in reaching your Rs. 5 crore target more comfortably.
Focus on Equity Funds:

Continue with your equity-focused mutual funds but consider reviewing your portfolio periodically. Make sure your portfolio remains aligned with your risk tolerance and market conditions.
Avoid Sector-Specific Funds:

Keep a balanced portfolio. Avoid over-exposure to any single sector to reduce the risk of volatility.
NPS Contribution:

Increase your NPS contributions if you haven't maxed out your tax-saving limit. NPS offers a good mix of equity and debt, which helps in long-term growth with some level of safety.
PPF Contributions:

Continue with your PPF contributions as it offers tax-free returns. This will act as a stable component in your overall portfolio.
Review Your Portfolio Annually:

Conduct an annual review of your portfolio to ensure it remains on track. Adjust your investments based on market trends and personal circumstances.
Tax Efficiency
Tax Planning:

Utilize the tax benefits offered by PPF, NPS, and ELSS funds. This will maximize your post-tax returns and enhance your overall corpus.
Capital Gains Management:

Be mindful of long-term capital gains tax when rebalancing your mutual fund portfolio. Plan withdrawals accordingly to minimize tax liability.
Emergency Fund
Maintain Liquidity:

Ensure you have 6-12 months' worth of expenses in a liquid fund or savings account. This will safeguard you against any unexpected financial needs without disrupting your long-term investments.
Final Insights
You are well on your way to achieving your retirement goal. By slightly increasing your SIPs and focusing on tax-efficient investments, you can confidently reach your Rs. 5 crore target in the next decade. Regular portfolio reviews and disciplined investing will ensure that your financial future remains secure.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6991 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Sep 24, 2024

Money
My age is 53, I am planning to retire by March 2025, I have 2cr invested in Mutual filings, 2cr FD, 45 lakhs in post office. 25 lakhs in Jeevan Shanti, getting 12250 per month. 50 lakhs in saving Having own house, I need 2.5 lakhs per month. Please advise my retirement plans
Ans: Assessing Your Current Financial Position
You have done a commendable job accumulating a variety of investments as you approach retirement. Your current assets include:

Rs 2 crore invested in mutual funds
Rs 2 crore in fixed deposits
Rs 45 lakhs in post office schemes
Rs 25 lakhs in Jeevan Shanti, providing Rs 12,250 per month
Rs 50 lakhs in savings
You own your house, so no rent or loan obligations
Your monthly requirement is Rs 2.5 lakhs, and you plan to retire by March 2025. Let’s assess how to structure these investments to generate the income you need, while ensuring financial security throughout your retirement.

Financial Goals: Retirement Income of Rs 2.5 Lakhs Per Month
To meet your monthly requirement of Rs 2.5 lakhs, we need to carefully plan your investment portfolio for steady cash flow and long-term sustainability. Given your age and investment horizon, a balanced approach with a mix of growth and income-generating assets will be key.

Your current financial assets can generate a comfortable income stream with the right strategy. Let’s go over each asset class and plan the optimal way to structure them.

Evaluating Your Investments
1. Mutual Funds (Rs 2 Crore)
You have Rs 2 crore invested in mutual funds. Mutual funds can be a strong source of income in retirement, but the type of funds matters. Actively managed mutual funds with a focus on generating regular income or hybrid funds can provide both growth and income.

Regular Withdrawal Plan: A Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP) can be set up to generate regular income from your mutual fund investments. SWP allows you to withdraw a fixed amount every month, providing liquidity while keeping your capital invested and growing.

Review Fund Types: Ensure that your mutual fund investments are diversified into funds that offer a balance between equity for growth and debt for stability. Large-cap and hybrid funds can offer this balance, helping you manage risk while still achieving returns that beat inflation.

Avoid relying solely on index funds or direct funds. Actively managed funds will give better returns in a volatile market because of professional oversight.

2. Fixed Deposits (Rs 2 Crore)
Your Rs 2 crore in fixed deposits provides stability, but the returns may not be enough to keep pace with inflation. Over time, the real value of this money could diminish.

Partial Reallocation for Higher Returns: Consider shifting a portion of your fixed deposit into balanced or conservative mutual funds. This will help increase returns while still maintaining safety. For example, you can allocate part of this into a debt-oriented mutual fund for consistent, inflation-beating returns.

Fixed Deposit Laddering: If you prefer keeping some portion in FDs, you can create a "ladder" by investing in FDs of different maturities. This strategy will help you manage liquidity needs while maximising returns.

3. Post Office Investments (Rs 45 Lakhs)
Your Rs 45 lakhs in post office schemes is another safe investment, and it’s advisable to retain these for their risk-free nature.

Retain for Stability: Post office schemes like Senior Citizen Saving Scheme (SCSS) and Monthly Income Scheme (MIS) are excellent for retirees. They provide a steady monthly income and are relatively safe. Continue holding these for the fixed monthly income.
4. Jeevan Shanti Policy (Rs 12,250 Per Month)
The Jeevan Shanti policy provides you with Rs 12,250 per month. This is a good start, but it covers only a small portion of your monthly needs.

Income Supplement: The monthly income from Jeevan Shanti can be used to cover smaller recurring expenses. However, you will still need additional income from your other investments to meet your Rs 2.5 lakh monthly requirement.
5. Savings (Rs 50 Lakhs)
You have Rs 50 lakhs in savings. While it’s good to have liquidity, savings accounts offer low returns and are not ideal for long-term goals.

Emergency Fund: Keep a portion of this Rs 50 lakhs (around 6 to 12 months of expenses) as an emergency fund in a savings account or liquid fund. This will cover any sudden or unforeseen expenses.

Reinvest Excess Savings: Any excess over the emergency fund can be reallocated to growth-oriented investments like balanced mutual funds or senior citizen savings schemes. This will provide better returns while maintaining access to the funds when needed.

Structuring Your Retirement Income
You need to generate Rs 2.5 lakh monthly, and here’s how your portfolio can be structured:

Jeevan Shanti Income: Rs 12,250 per month

Post Office Schemes: You can generate additional fixed monthly income from the Rs 45 lakhs invested here. SCSS or MIS can provide you with regular payouts.

This should cover a portion of your Rs 2.5 lakh requirement, but the remaining will need to come from your mutual funds and FD portfolio.

Strategy for Monthly Cash Flow
Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP): Set up an SWP from your mutual fund investments. With Rs 2 crore in mutual funds, you can withdraw a fixed amount every month while still keeping the principal invested. This can easily generate a significant portion of your monthly income.

FD Laddering: Use your FDs to cover the balance of your income needs. By creating an FD ladder, you can ensure that a portion of your FDs matures every year, providing both liquidity and consistent income.

Inflation Protection and Growth
While generating current income is important, your investments need to grow to keep pace with inflation. Here’s how you can protect your portfolio from inflation:

Equity Exposure in Mutual Funds: Ensure a portion of your mutual funds is in equity-based funds, as they offer long-term growth potential. A balanced or hybrid mutual fund can provide equity exposure with lower risk.

Rebalancing Portfolio: Review your portfolio periodically to maintain the right balance between equity and debt. As you move further into retirement, you can slowly reduce the equity portion, but it should never be zero to protect against inflation.

Managing Risk and Liquidity
Retirement planning is not only about income generation but also risk management. You need to balance safety and liquidity with growth. Here’s how you can manage this:

Diversification: Keep a diverse portfolio. You already have investments across multiple instruments—mutual funds, fixed deposits, post office schemes, and Jeevan Shanti. This reduces risk.

Health Insurance: As you age, medical expenses could rise. Ensure you have comprehensive health insurance to cover medical emergencies without dipping into your retirement corpus.

Estate Planning: Plan for how your assets will be distributed in the future. This ensures that your loved ones are taken care of without legal complications.

Tax Efficiency
Generating income post-retirement can attract tax, so it’s important to structure your withdrawals in a tax-efficient manner.

Tax-Saving Investments: Make use of tax-saving mutual funds under Section 80C, even though you are close to retirement. This can reduce your tax burden.

Capital Gains Tax: Withdraw from your mutual funds in a way that minimises capital gains tax. Long-term capital gains tax is lower, so try to keep investments for over a year to benefit from this.

Senior Citizen Tax Benefits: As a senior citizen, you are eligible for higher tax deductions. Utilise benefits under Sections 80D (for health insurance premiums) and 80TTB (for interest income).

Final Insights
You have built a solid financial base with Rs 4.7 crore in investments. To meet your retirement goal of Rs 2.5 lakh monthly income, we recommend a balanced approach. Continue generating income from your Jeevan Shanti, post office schemes, and fixed deposits. For additional income and growth, use an SWP from your mutual funds, and consider reallocating a portion of your FDs to mutual funds for better returns.

Regular reviews and portfolio rebalancing will ensure that your investments keep up with inflation while providing a steady, reliable income.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

Latest Questions
Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |395 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 10, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi ma’am, I am a 27 year old girl. My father is a very strict person. Since childhood I have tolerated many things like I was not allowed to make friends(not even girls, forgot about boys). When I was 12 years old I was told that I was not allowed to talk to boys, and if my father ever saw me doing so, he will kill me. So, I was not allowed to talk to any friend, forget about going out and other stuff. All I used to do is sit in my room and study,I was not allowed to go out to play, wasn’t allowed to watch tv, not even allowed to go and play with cousins. Even if there was a wedding in my family, i was not allowed to go out and enjoy. And this has continued till date. I am still not allowed to go out without my father’s permission. Although I live in Bengaluru and work in a big company with a high paying job. Even the salary I get is not mine. Because my father takes it from me and I can’t say no to him. I use to say to me that if I ever did anything which he thinks is wrong, he will kill me, or will not allow me to go to college and now he will not allow me to work. And now he want me to get married to someone of his choice because of caste system. But I have a boyfriend and I want to marry my him. But I can’t even tell this to my father, because once I tell him this, he will not allow me to leave the house ever again and he would get me married to next person he finds. I am very scared of him. I don’t want to get married to anyone but my boyfriend. What should I do? Should I run away and get married to my boyfriend. I don’t know what my father will do then. He is a very controlling person .
Ans: To start, consider small steps that allow you to establish a greater sense of independence. Setting aside a portion of your income in an account only you can access, even if done quietly, can help you prepare financially for the future you envision with your boyfriend. Gaining control over your finances can also give you a greater sense of autonomy, which is key for your emotional and practical well-being.

Considering your father’s intense reaction to any choices that don’t align with his, safety is a priority. Consulting with a therapist or a counselor could help you process the emotional impact of your experiences and, importantly, develop strategies for how to approach this situation. Speaking to a counselor may also help you find a safe way to discuss your relationship with your father and express your own wishes while understanding any resources that might be available to you if needed.

If, ultimately, you decide to move forward with your relationship and marriage independently of your father’s permission, preparing yourself for potential emotional fallout is essential. While it’s natural to hope for family acceptance, remember that creating your own happiness is equally important. Over time, if your father can see that you’re stable, happy, and independent, he may eventually respect your decision.

Taking steps toward your own life may feel overwhelming, but with support and gradual changes, you can find a path that balances your love for your family with your need for self-respect, autonomy, and a future that you choose.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |395 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 01, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi mam, I am in a 14 year old relationship with a man, the relationship is quite healthy until now, but our families are not accepting for marriage. Since his parents are divorced and her elder sister to. Everyone in my family is against this marriage and not one person is supporting it, but we truly love each other. Even the boy does, and he is doing everything he can for a mutual acceptance. There is no divorce history in my family till date. So sometimes, even I get sceptical about taking this relationship forward as I understand the seriousness of marriage, but I also understand that there is attachment, love, commitment, duration, everything involved in this 14 year old relationship which will make it very hard to accept someone else in place of him, so basically, I want to marry the guy, but not his family I know that’s not possible, but then what should I do? Should I just take the step forward with total faith in the man, or should I marry somewhere else where everything is great, only love will be unsure. The man has connections with both his parents and there is no custody involved. In this case. He is in a good relationship with both the parents, although he lives with his mother and sister.
Ans: Fourteen years is a profound commitment, and the fact that both of you have nurtured such a bond reflects a solid foundation that’s not easy to find or replicate. The conflict seems to lie mainly in your family’s fears and cultural values around marriage and their concern about potential patterns in relationships. This is an understandable reaction from them, given the uniqueness of his family background compared to what they’ve experienced.

It’s natural for you to feel torn, especially since you value your family’s approval and understand the complexities that can arise in marriage. While family acceptance can provide a comforting support system, there are instances when it doesn’t fully align with one’s own heart. Marrying him would mean choosing to rely primarily on each other, despite family reservations, which could require extra resilience and patience as you move forward together. Since he has strong relationships with both parents, it may be reassuring that he has a healthy view of family, despite their past. This could suggest that he has personal maturity and the ability to build a stable, loving relationship with you.

At the same time, your family’s perspective doesn’t necessarily mean there’s any curse or pattern that would carry over into your marriage. The key to deciding might be to look at the qualities he brings to the relationship, how both of you handle challenges, and whether he brings stability, honesty, and emotional support. The longevity and health of your relationship are positive indicators, and if both of you have open communication about potential concerns—like how family dynamics might play a role in the future—you’ll likely be prepared to face those hurdles together.

You’re faced with a decision that balances taking a leap of faith with the potential for some family disappointment. If he is the partner with whom you see a fulfilling life, the choice to marry might ultimately come down to what feels right to you, independent of family fears. Love, trust, and understanding—especially those that withstand the test of time—are incredibly powerful foundations. So, if you believe in the strength of your bond and feel you could weather any storm together, choosing him could be a step toward building the kind of family you truly want, even if it’s unconventional by your family’s standards.

But if you’re still unsure, taking time to express all these feelings to him, to explore your shared values and long-term goals, and to be absolutely sure of the life you want to build can help reinforce whichever path feels right for you.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |395 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 07, 2024
Relationship
Maam In last question of mine you told me that im taking meaning out of a friendly casual conversation. I may be doing so but I tried to ignore that guy but he is still staring at me and roaming around my house. What does that mean.???? Im not seeking attention from him. He himself is giving intense looks and appearing from no where. Our kids are in same school so I cant avoid seeing him. Its just not possible but i try not to give him.attention but he coming in front of me for no reason. Giving me suggestions about my child when I have not even asked him.anything.
Ans: One possibility here could be that he genuinely believes he’s being friendly and is unaware that his actions might be coming across as intrusive. Some people aren’t as skilled at reading subtle social cues or may interpret polite responses as openness to further interaction. Another scenario could be that he’s misinterpreting a simple acquaintanceship as an invitation for more personal connection, especially if he hasn’t recognized your signals for wanting distance.

It’s also possible, especially if he’s trying to advise you about your child, that he’s viewing himself as helpful or knowledgeable—again, likely without realizing he’s crossing a line. If he’s repeatedly making intense eye contact or appearing at odd times, it may also reflect a need for attention or connection on his part, even if it’s unintentional.

If this behavior continues and your efforts to distance yourself subtly aren’t working, it might be time to consider setting a gentle but clear boundary. This can be done with nonverbal cues, like quickly redirecting your gaze or finding reasons to leave a situation as soon as he tries to initiate a conversation. However, if his presence continues to bother you, there’s no harm in being more direct. A polite but firm approach, like thanking him for his advice and mentioning that you’d prefer to handle things yourself, can send a message that you’re not looking for further involvement.

Your well-being and comfort come first, and your instincts are valid. If his behavior is persistent and truly uncomfortable, it may be best to acknowledge it internally and remind yourself that you’re under no obligation to respond or interact beyond what feels right for you.

...Read more

Radheshyam

Radheshyam Zanwar  |1031 Answers  |Ask -

MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on Nov 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 08, 2024Hindi
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Career
My son is in grade 10th, he wants to prepare for neet but he went for counselling twice where he had given some test which gave him results to prefer engineering now he is confused if i will not be able to do fare in neet thn what should i opt for since hes planning to go for integrated? Ease help
Ans: Hello.
To which tests your son appeared is not mentioned by you. I am assuming that he may be based to appear for either an IQ test or a DMIT Test. I would like to say that there is no need to 100% trust these tests. The results of these tests depend on the mindset of a student at that time. These tests are never 100% correct. Hence there is no need to worry about the results of these tests and what the counselor has told you.
Here are some key points on which you can work:
(1) Please ask his school teachers about his subject understanding.
(2) Please take an overall review of maths and science subjects from an understanding point of view only.
(3) Have an open talk with your son about his interest either in mathematics or biology.
(4) If possible, try to make an interaction with senior students who are preparing for JEE or NEET.
(5) Even though the coaching is now focussing either on PCM or PCB groups, it is advisable to take all 4 subjects PCMB in the 11th standard.
(6) Take a trial for at least 2 initial months in 11th standard for maths and biology subjects.
(7) Your son will automatically tell his interest in either engineering or medicine.
(8) Don't force your willingness on him to prepare for NEET.
(9) Based on the final decision, you may think of integrated courses.
(10) Your's sons interest matters more. If he is firm to go for NEET, then motivate him and keep the results of counselor tests aside.
Best of luck to your son for his bright future.

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Thanks.

Radheshyam

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