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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10870 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 20, 2025

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jun 12, 2025Hindi
Money

I have the following mutual fund SIP 1. Mirae asset large & mid cap - 2000 pm 2. Axis large cap - 2000 pm 3. SBI small cap - 500 pm 4. Axis ELSS tax saver - 500 pm 5. Parag parikh flexi cap - 2000 pm I want to maximize profit and diversify further. Please review my portfolio and suggest for modification Pls suggest

Ans: You have shared a smart set of mutual fund SIPs:

Mirae Asset Large & Mid Cap – Rs.?2,000/month

Axis Large Cap – Rs.?2,000/month

SBI Small Cap – Rs.?500/month

Axis ELSS (tax saver) – Rs.?500/month

Parag Parikh Flexi Cap – Rs.?2,000/month

You are disciplined and focused on long?term growth.
Now let us analyse and suggest improvements with clarity and purpose.

Understanding the Strengths of Your Portfolio
Core Large?and?Mid?Cap Funds (Mirae + Axis):

Provides solid equity exposure in mid/large segments.

Good backbone for long?term wealth creation.

Risk?return balance is reasonable in these segments.

Flexi-Cap Fund:

Offers flexibility to adjust equity allocation across caps.

Broad market coverage supports multi-cap exposure.

Helps in tactical allocation across large, mid and small caps.

Small?Cap Fund:

Adds high-growth potential segment to your mix.

Small allocation ensures controlled exposure.

Enhances return potential over long horizon.

ELSS (Tax Saver) Fund:

Provides tax benefit under Section 80C.

Lock-in of 3 years is short compared to other tax-saving plans.

Offers equity exposure with tax efficiency.

Identifying Overlaps and Risks
Large?Cap Overlap: Mirae, Axis, and Flexi cap may hold similar core stocks.

High Equity Bias: Entire Rs.?7,000 monthly in equity funds.

Concentration Risk: Heavy tilt toward equity without stability cushion.

Volatility Risk: Small cap exposure can cause portfolio swings.

Taxation Awareness: Equity funds attract LTCG/STCG rules; plan withdrawal wisely.

Goals for Portfolio Enhancement
Better diversification across asset classes.

Smoother risk?return profile.

Enhanced inflation?beating potential.

Tax efficiency and withdrawal planning.

Flexibility to adjust as per market and life changes.

1. Introduce Hybrid Balanced Fund
Why Add Hybrid Fund?

Gives a cushion during market corrections.

Reduces overall volatility vs pure equity.

Provides regular debt exposure within equity portfolio.

Suggested Move:

Allocate Rs.?2,000/month to an actively managed hybrid balanced fund.

Use regular plan for guided asset rebalancing.

Keep it ~10–15% of total monthly investments.

2. Consider Mid?Cap Allocation
You already have some mid?cap exposure through the flexi?cap fund.
But a dedicated mid?cap fund adds controlled focus.

Benefits of Mid?Cap Funds:

Offers higher returns than large caps over long haul.

Suits 7–10 year horizon when you want growth.

Adds exposure to tomorrow’s large?cap companies.

Suggested Allocation:

Allocate Rs.?1,000–2,000/month to a reliable mid?cap equity fund.

Keep total mid?cap equity exposure under 20% of equity portfolio.

3. Reduce Redundancy in Large?Cap Exposure
Three funds cover large?cap space heavily.
Consider consolidation:

You can choose one long?term large?cap fund.

Keep it as the large?cap anchor.

Use the other equity funds to diversify across market caps.

Suggested Approach:

Continue either Mirae large & mid or Axis large?cap fund.

Redirect some of the other fund's amount (e.g., Axis ELSS if large?cap heavy) to mid-cap or hybrid.

4. Increase Portion for Tax?Efficient ELSS
Your Rs.?500/month ELSS is modest.

Advantages:

Saves tax under 80C

Good long?term capital gain potential

3?year lock-in helps discipline

Suggested step:

Increase ELSS to Rs.?1,000 to Rs.?1,500 monthly.

Use this to reduce taxable income annually.

Keep lock-in in mind and avoid early withdrawals.

5. Build a Small Debt Buffer
Even equity-centric portfolios benefit from a debt cushion.

Why debt fund?

Provides liquidity during emergencies.

Taxes are better than FD post 3 years.

Avoids needing to sell equity in market lows.

Suggested step:

Start Rs.?1,000/month in a short-duration debt fund.

Helps build a buffering liquidity pool.

Supports flexibility and risk reduction.

6. Rebalanced Monthly SIP Strategy
After the above suggestions, your revamped SIP mix could look like this:

Large?/Flexi?Cap Fund – Rs.?3,000/month

Mid?Cap Equity Fund – Rs.?1,500/month

Small?Cap Fund – Rs.?500/month

ELSS Tax Saver Fund – Rs.?1,500/month

Hybrid Balanced Fund – Rs.?2,000/month

Short?Duration Debt Fund – Rs.?1,000/month

Total: Rs.?9,500/month

You still have Rs.?500 for margin or bonus top-up.

7. Rationale Behind This Allocation
Diversification: Across large, mid, small, hybrid and debt.

Risk?return balance: Growth + stability buffer.

Tax efficiency: Leveraging ELSS for tax saving.

Flexibility: Hybrid allows partial equity exposure if needed.

Review ability: Easy tracking across 6 fund categories.

8. Managing Overlaps Effectively
Avoid too many funds in same category.

Check fund holdings yearly to avoid top?stock exposure overlap.

Maintain ~10–15% in small?cap across portfolio.

Maintain hybrid/debt ratio to cushion volatility.

9. Importance of Regular Plans vs Direct
Regular plans give access to MFD support.

They include portfolio review, rebalancing advice.

You avoid going solo and making emotional decisions.

Direct plans lack support mechanism and professional guidance.

You gain clarity, discipline and monitoring with regular funds.

10. Taxation Awareness for Future Withdrawals
Equity LTCG above Rs.?1.25 lakh taxed at 12.5%.

STCG taxed at 20%.

ELSS lock?in reduces temptation to withdraw early.

Hybrid and debt funds taxed per slab, but can be held to reduce tax.

SWP (Systematic Withdrawal Plan) helps avoid lumpsum tax triggers.

11. Monitoring and Rebalancing Discipline
Semi?annual review of portfolio weightings

If large?cap >50% total equity, rebalance via fund switches

If hybrid/growth fund ratio shifts, adjust SIP or stop/start

Use CFP support annually to rebalance across asset classes

Factor inflation and goal timelines in review sessions

12. Focus on Goals and Investment Timeframes
Short To Mid?Term (3–5 years): ELSS, hybrid, debt portion

Mid To Long?Term (5–10 years): Large, mid and small cap

Life/retirement goals beyond 10 years: Continuously review for flexibility

Segmenting by purpose helps align volatility to timeline.

13. Avoid These Common Mistakes
Don’t chase top?performing funds each year

Avoid index funds—they mimic markets without active risk defence

Don’t invest in direct plans—they lack advisory features

Don’t exit funds after market fall—stay disciplined

Don’t buy more funds due to short?term publicity

14. Smart Growth Pillars for Your Portfolio
Discipline in SIP investing

Active fund management provides tactical play

Asset allocation ensures downside protection

Tax awareness improves net returns

Regular review keeps allocation on track

Goal clarity delivers better financial decisions

15. Action Plan Summary
Immediately:

Increase ELSS SIP to Rs.?1,500/month

Add Hybrid fund SIP Rs.?2,000/month

Add Mid?Cap SIP Rs.?1,500/month

Add Debt SIP Rs.?1,000/month

Within 1–2 Months:

Reduce large?cap split to Rs.?3,000/month

Monitor overlap and adjust future contributions

Every 6 Months:

Check overall asset mix and rebalance

Consult CFP to update plan based on goals

16. Final Insights
You already have a strong foundation.
Small adjustments can bring powerful diversification.
Focus on building multi?cap equity, tax?saver, and hybrid exposure.
Debt buffer provides stability and liquidity.
Choose active regular funds via CFP support.
Avoid index or direct alternatives for now.
Monitor periodically and stay aligned with long?term goals.

Your portfolio is heading in a smart direction.
With these enhancements, it will become stronger and more goal?centric.
Consistency, discipline and professional oversight will help you achieve maximum growth.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment
Asked on - Jun 21, 2025 | Answered on Jun 21, 2025
Thank you sir for your kind guidance
Ans: You're welcome! If you have any more questions or need further assistance, feel free to ask. Best wishes on your financial journey!

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment
Asked on - Jul 06, 2025 | Answered on Jul 07, 2025
Can I switch from SBI Small Cap to Nippon or HDFC or Bandhan
Ans: Yes, you can switch from SBI Small Cap to Nippon or HDFC or Bandhan Small Cap.

But switch only if the new fund has shown consistent performance for 5+ years and has lower volatility.

Avoid switching just based on recent returns.

Always consult a Certified Financial Planner before making changes.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment
Asked on - Jul 07, 2025 | Answered on Jul 07, 2025
I have been invested in Axis Large Cap since 5 years. It's performance is not up to mark. What can I do sir ? Should I stop and withdraw? Or Should I continue? Or should I switch to any other fund ? I have already Mirae Asset Large and mid cap plus parag parikh flexi cap
Ans: Since Axis Large Cap has underperformed and you already hold other strong funds like Mirae Large & Mid Cap and Parag Parikh Flexi Cap, a review makes sense.

But for specific evaluation—whether to stop, continue, or switch—please contact an MFD with CFP credentials or connect with me directly through my website in the below signature.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment
Asked on - Jul 07, 2025 | Answered on Jul 07, 2025
How to connect with you sir ?
Ans: I appreciate your trust and willingness to connect.
Let's embark on this financial journey together.
You can reach me through my website mentioned below.
This platform has restrictions on sharing personal contact. Hope you understand.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
Insagram: https://www.instagram.com/holistic_investment_planners/
Asked on - Jul 07, 2025 | Answered on Jul 07, 2025
Pls share your email id
Ans: You can reach me through my website mentioned below.
This platform has restrictions on sharing personal contact. Hope you understand.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
Asked on - Jul 09, 2025 | Answered on Jul 11, 2025
Axis large cap is performing poorly. What should I do?
Ans: But for specific evaluation—whether to stop, continue, or switch—please contact an MFD with CFP credentials or connect with me directly through my website in the below signature.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment
Asked on - Jul 11, 2025 | Answered on Jul 11, 2025
Sir, I have subscribed Axis Max Life Flexi Wealth Advantage Plan ( high growth fund) with 5 year payment term and total policy duration 15 years. Can it generate good returns ? Pls review
Ans: It is a ULIP with high charges in early years.

Returns are market-linked but lower than mutual funds due to costs.

For better returns, mutual funds are more efficient.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment
Asked on - Jul 11, 2025 | Answered on Jul 11, 2025
Shall I continue or opt out ? Did it just 20 days ago
Ans: Since it's just 20 days old, you can still opt out during the free-look period.

ULIPs have high charges, especially in early years.

Returns are market-linked but less than mutual funds due to costs.

For long-term wealth, mutual funds are more efficient.

You may exit now and reinvest in mutual funds.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment
Asked on - Jul 11, 2025 | Answered on Jul 12, 2025
Can I expect atleast more than 8 percent from this policy
Ans: Returns above 8% from this ULIP are unlikely over the long term.

High policy charges reduce compounding.

Mutual funds are more efficient for 8%+ returns.

Exiting now and shifting is wiser.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment
Asked on - Jul 30, 2025 | Answered on Jul 30, 2025
As per your advice, I have withdrawn from ULIP. Where can I park the money ?
Ans: Appreciate your timely decision to exit the ULIP.
That move will improve your long-term returns.

Here’s a shorter reinvestment strategy using mutual funds:

? Use Regular Mutual Funds, Not Direct
– Avoid direct plans.
– Choose regular plans through a Certified Financial Planner.
– This ensures tracking, rebalancing, and expert guidance.

? Don’t Go for Index Funds or ETFs
– They only follow the market.
– No downside protection.
– Actively managed funds give better risk-adjusted returns.

? Suggested Reinvestment Mix
– Flexi Cap Fund: For core equity growth.
– Large & Mid Cap Fund: Balanced exposure.
– Mid Cap Fund: Only if your horizon is 7+ years.
– Aggressive Hybrid Fund: For equity-debt mix.
– ELSS Fund: If you need 80C tax saving.
– Liquid or Short-Term Debt Fund: For any short-term needs.

? Use STP if You Have Lumpsum
– Park in a liquid fund.
– Use STP to shift gradually to equity.
– This reduces market timing risk.

? Keep It Simple
– Choose 4–6 funds only.
– Match investments to specific goals.
– Review every 6 months with your Certified Financial Planner.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment
Asked on - Jul 30, 2025 | Answered on Jul 30, 2025
Can u please suggest a portfolio of 10000 per month with 1. Large & Mid Cap 2. Flexi Cap 3. Hybrid 4. ELSS Time period 10 to 15 years
Ans: For scheme specific recommendation —please contact an MFD with CFP credentials or connect with me directly through my website in the below signature.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10870 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 20, 2024

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Sir, I have the following Mutual Funds SIP monthly amount- 1) Motilal Oswal Midcap Fund - 3000 2) Nippon India Large Cap Fund - 3000 3) Parag Parikh Flexi Cap Fund - 3000 4) Quant Infrastructure Fund - 3000 5) Quant Multi Asset Fund - 3000 6) Quant Small Cap Fund - 3000 7) Axis Small Cap Fund - 2000 please review my portfolio and advise, if any changes required.
Ans: Let's dive into a detailed analysis of your existing mutual fund SIP portfolio to identify potential areas for optimization and ensure alignment with your financial goals.

Assessing Your Current Portfolio
Your current portfolio consists of a diversified mix of mutual funds across various categories, including mid-cap, large-cap, flexi-cap, infrastructure, multi-asset, and small-cap funds. This demonstrates a well-rounded approach to investment diversification.

Evaluating Fund Performance and Risk Profile
Performance: Evaluate the historical performance of each fund relative to its benchmark index and peer group. Look for consistent performers with a track record of delivering above-average returns over the long term.

Risk Profile: Assess the risk profile of each fund based on factors such as volatility, standard deviation, and downside capture ratio. Ensure that the risk level aligns with your risk tolerance and investment horizon.

Identifying Redundancies and Overlaps
Review your portfolio for any redundancies or overlaps in investment objectives and underlying holdings. Eliminate duplicate exposures to similar asset classes or sectors to streamline your portfolio and reduce unnecessary risk.

Addressing Fund Selection and Allocation
Mid-Cap and Small-Cap Funds: Mid-cap and small-cap funds offer the potential for high growth but come with increased volatility. Evaluate your exposure to these segments and consider rebalancing if necessary to manage risk.

Large-Cap and Flexi-Cap Funds: Large-cap and flexi-cap funds provide stability and diversification. Ensure adequate allocation to these segments to mitigate volatility and capitalize on market opportunities.

Sectoral and Theme Funds: Review your exposure to sectoral and theme funds, such as infrastructure and multi-asset funds. While these funds can offer niche opportunities, they also carry concentrated risks. Consider reducing exposure or diversifying across sectors for better risk management.

Streamlining and Rebalancing Your Portfolio
Based on the assessment above, consider streamlining your portfolio by consolidating redundant funds and rebalancing allocations to align with your risk-return objectives. Focus on retaining high-quality funds with strong track records and reallocating resources to optimize diversification and minimize risk.

Monitoring and Reviewing Your Portfolio Regularly
Lastly, commit to monitoring your portfolio regularly and reviewing your investment strategy periodically to ensure continued alignment with your financial goals and evolving market conditions. Stay informed about fund performance, economic trends, and regulatory changes to make informed decisions.

Conclusion
In conclusion, while your current mutual fund portfolio demonstrates diversification and a proactive approach to investment, there may be opportunities to optimize allocations, address redundancies, and enhance risk-adjusted returns. By conducting a comprehensive review and making strategic adjustments, you can position your portfolio for long-term success and achieve your financial objectives.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10870 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Nov 14, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 13, 2024Hindi
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Hi sir Kindly review my portfolio.. Investing below amount in SIP 1)Large cap - Axis 4500 Nippon 4500 2) Flexi cap - Parag parikh - 3000 Icici - 2500 3) Mid cap - Motilal - 2500 Aditya birla - 500 Kotak - 500 4) Small cap Tata - 1500 My goal for investing is my child education, child marriage and Retirement funds I planning to invest for next 15 years Kindly suggest which and all mutual fund I have to continue and remove for better returns.. Thank you
Ans: It’s great to see that you’re committed to securing funds for your child’s education, marriage, and retirement. These are critical milestones, and with the right approach, your investments can help you achieve them effectively.

Investment Goals and Approach

You have clear long-term objectives, which is ideal. Planning with specific goals like education, marriage, and retirement brings purpose to your investment journey. Given the 15-year investment horizon, you can take advantage of compounding benefits, especially with equity mutual funds. However, let’s ensure your portfolio is optimized for growth, risk, and tax efficiency.

Evaluating Your Mutual Fund Choices

Let’s look at your current investments across various categories:

1. Large Cap Funds
Large-cap funds provide stability, as they invest in established companies with relatively lower volatility. However, there can be limited scope for very high growth in large caps compared to mid or small caps.

You’re invested in two large-cap funds. It’s often advisable to focus on one high-performing large-cap fund to avoid overlap and unnecessary diversification.

Consider retaining a large-cap fund that has a consistent track record, active fund management, and strong research backing.

2. Flexi Cap Funds
Flexi-cap funds offer flexibility by investing across market caps. This allows the fund manager to capture growth opportunities in any segment of the market.

Holding two flexi-cap funds is fine, as it balances large and mid-cap stocks, offering both stability and growth. However, evaluate each fund’s performance and select one if you feel any duplication in returns.

3. Mid Cap Funds
Mid-cap funds offer growth potential but come with higher risk. Given your long-term horizon, they can be beneficial.

You currently have three mid-cap funds. It might be better to consolidate into one or two top-performing funds in this category to reduce excessive overlap and diversify across sectors rather than just fund names.

4. Small Cap Fund
Small-cap funds are suitable for aggressive growth but can be highly volatile. It’s wise to limit exposure to small caps, as they tend to fluctuate significantly, especially over shorter timeframes.

Given your portfolio composition, your allocation to small caps is moderate, which seems appropriate. However, ensure you are comfortable with the high-risk nature of small caps, especially if the market faces downturns.

Analysis of Direct vs. Regular Funds

Opting for direct funds might appear attractive due to lower expense ratios, but it’s crucial to weigh the potential downsides:

Lack of Guidance: Direct funds lack the guidance a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) can offer. Expert support ensures your portfolio is regularly rebalanced and aligned with market changes, personal goals, and tax updates.

Regular Tracking: With a CFP’s help, your investments are reviewed frequently, making timely adjustments in case of underperformance. This hands-on approach is particularly helpful in achieving your long-term goals.

Tax Considerations: Regular funds through a CFP can help you optimize tax efficiency by offering proactive advice on capital gains, loss harvesting, and adjusting investments according to the new capital gains tax rules.

Importance of Actively Managed Funds

While index funds may seem attractive for their lower costs, actively managed funds bring added advantages, especially for long-term investors like you:

Potential for Higher Returns: Skilled fund managers actively seek growth opportunities that can outperform benchmarks over time. This could be a significant advantage given your long-term goals.

Flexibility in Market Movements: Active funds allow managers to make informed changes, adapting to market conditions and potentially protecting your investments during volatile phases.

Diverse Exposure: With active management, your funds are better diversified across sectors and stocks, reducing concentration risk and enhancing the potential for stable returns.

Investment Strategy Recommendations

Considering your goals and time horizon, here’s a comprehensive approach to optimize your portfolio:

Consolidate Fund Choices: Consider reducing similar funds within each category. This will provide clarity and focus, making it easier to track progress and reduce management complexity.

Review and Rebalance: Regularly review your portfolio performance, preferably with a CFP, to ensure each fund aligns with your risk tolerance and goals. Aim for annual rebalancing to stay on track.

Allocate Based on Goals: Assign specific funds for each goal. For example:

Child’s Education and Marriage: Given the moderate-to-high timeframe, allocate funds with a mix of stability (large-cap and flexi-cap funds) and growth (mid-cap).
Retirement: Invest in a diversified mix of flexi-cap and large-cap funds, along with a smaller allocation to mid-caps, as retirement is a long-term goal with a potentially higher investment horizon.
Avoid Overlapping: Limit overlap between funds by choosing those with unique holdings or management strategies. Too many funds can dilute returns, especially if they invest in similar stocks.

Tax Considerations

With recent changes in capital gains tax rules, be mindful of the following when planning exits or rebalancing:

Equity Mutual Funds: Long-term capital gains (LTCG) above Rs 1.25 lakh are now taxed at 12.5%. Short-term capital gains (STCG) are taxed at 20%.

Debt Funds: LTCG and STCG for debt funds are taxed according to your income tax slab.

Tax Efficiency: To minimize tax outgo, hold investments for the long term and consult a CFP for tax-optimized rebalancing.

Investment Horizon: Sticking to your 15-year investment plan can help mitigate tax impacts and optimize returns.

Insurance Evaluation

If you hold any LIC, ULIP, or investment-linked insurance policies, review their performance and fees. These products often come with high costs, which can limit returns. Consider surrendering such policies if they don’t align with your goals and reinvest in well-performing mutual funds instead.

Finally

Your commitment to a 15-year SIP plan shows your dedication to securing your family’s future. A structured, diversified approach with periodic reviews can enhance your portfolio’s performance, aligning it with your goals of education, marriage, and retirement.

A Certified Financial Planner can be a valuable partner in this journey, providing expert advice to help you make the most of your investments and adjust them as needed.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

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Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Dec 04, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 02, 2025Hindi
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My married ex still texts me for comfort. Because of him, I am unable to move on. He makes me feel guilty by saying he got married out of family pressure. His dad is a cardiac patient and mom is being treated for cancer. He comforts me by saying he will get separated soon and we will get married because he only loves me. We have been in a relationship for 14 years and despite everything we tried, his parents refused to accept me, so he chose to get married to someone who understands our situation. I don't know when he will separate from his wife. She knows about us too but she comes from a traditional family. She also confirmed there is no physical intimacy between them. I trust him, but is it worth losing my youth for him? Honestly, I am worried and very confused.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand how difficult it is to let go of a relationship you have built from scratch, but is it really how you want to continue? It really seems to be going nowhere. His parents are already in bad health and he married someone else for their happiness. Does it seem like he will be able to leave her? So many people’s happiness and lives depend on this one decision. I think it’s about time you and your BF have a clear conversation about the same. If he can’t give a proper timeline, please try to understand his situation. But also make sure he understands yours and maybe rethink this equation. It really isn’t healthy. You deserve a love you can have wholly, and not just in pieces, and in the shadows.

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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