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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10902 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 03, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jun 03, 2024Hindi
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I want to make 1 croreby 2029..current portfolio fund value is around 50 lacs

Ans: Reaching a target of Rs 1 crore by 2029 is an achievable goal. Your current portfolio value of Rs 50 lakhs is a strong starting point. Let's explore how to grow this to Rs 1 crore over the next five years.

Understanding the Goal
Your goal requires doubling your current portfolio in five years. This translates to an annual growth rate of approximately 14.87%. It's essential to have a clear understanding of the required growth rate.

Assessing Your Current Portfolio
First, analyse your current portfolio. Understand the allocation across different asset classes. Review the performance of each asset class and consider rebalancing if necessary.

Importance of Diversification
Diversification helps in risk management. Ensure your portfolio is diversified across various asset classes such as equities, fixed income, and mutual funds. This strategy reduces risk while aiming for high returns.

Equity Investments
Equities can offer higher returns, but they come with higher risk. Consider investing in high-growth sectors. Diversify your equity investments to reduce risks associated with market volatility.

Mutual Funds
Mutual funds are managed by professionals who aim to achieve better returns than the market. Choose funds with a strong track record. Actively managed funds can potentially outperform index funds.

Regular Funds vs. Direct Funds
Regular funds, managed by Certified Financial Planners (CFPs), offer several advantages. CFPs provide expert advice and continuous monitoring. They help in adjusting your portfolio based on market conditions, which can be crucial for achieving your goal.

Fixed Income Investments
Fixed income investments provide stability to your portfolio. Consider high-quality bonds and debentures. These investments offer regular interest income and lower risk compared to equities.

Systematic Investment Plan (SIP)
SIPs allow you to invest a fixed amount regularly. This method helps in averaging the purchase cost and reduces the impact of market volatility. It also inculcates a disciplined investment habit.

Rebalancing the Portfolio
Regular portfolio rebalancing is crucial. Market conditions change, and so should your portfolio. Rebalancing helps in maintaining the desired risk-return profile. It ensures your investments align with your financial goals.

Emergency Fund
Maintain an emergency fund to cover unforeseen expenses. This fund should be easily accessible and separate from your investment portfolio. It ensures that you don’t have to liquidate your investments during emergencies.

Tax Planning
Tax planning is integral to maximize returns. Consider tax-efficient investment options. Utilize available deductions and exemptions to reduce your tax liability. Efficient tax planning increases your net returns.

Reviewing Financial Goals
Periodically review your financial goals. Changes in personal circumstances may affect your financial objectives. Regular reviews ensure that your investment strategy remains aligned with your goals.

Importance of Professional Guidance
A Certified Financial Planner (CFP) can provide valuable guidance. They offer personalized advice based on your financial situation and goals. Their expertise can help in making informed investment decisions.

Benefits of Active Fund Management
Active fund management aims to outperform the market. Fund managers use their expertise to select high-performing stocks. This can result in better returns compared to passive investments like index funds.

Risk Management
Identify and manage risks associated with your investments. Diversify your portfolio to mitigate specific risks. Regularly review and adjust your investments based on risk tolerance and market conditions.

Importance of Patience and Discipline
Investing requires patience and discipline. Market fluctuations are common, but staying invested for the long term is key to achieving your goals. Avoid making impulsive decisions based on short-term market movements.

Conclusion
Achieving Rs 1 crore by 2029 is feasible with a strategic approach. Diversify your investments, manage risks, and seek professional advice. Regularly review and adjust your portfolio to stay on track.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10902 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 04, 2024

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Am 55 year old and have MF of. 35 Lakhs with total 1lakh monthly SIP in funds like Tata large/ Midcap fund/ HSBC midcap/ Kotak Emerging Equity fund / Axis blue chip Fund/ UTI Flexi cap fund &FD around 12 lakhs / 10 lakhs in PPF.. My Goal is to create 3-4 cr Pls advise
Ans: Given your age and financial goals, it's essential to ensure that your investment portfolio is aligned with your objectives and risk tolerance. Here are some suggestions to help you work towards your goal of creating a corpus of 3-4 crores:

Review Your Asset Allocation:
Assess your current asset allocation and ensure it aligns with your risk profile and investment horizon.
Consider rebalancing your portfolio to maintain the desired mix of equity, debt, and other assets.
Optimize Your Mutual Fund Portfolio:
Review the performance and consistency of your existing mutual fund holdings.
Consider consolidating or pruning underperforming funds and focusing on those with a strong track record and aligned with your investment goals.
Diversify across different market segments and investment styles to manage risk effectively.
Explore Retirement-Focused Investments:
Given your age and goal of creating a substantial corpus for retirement, consider increasing your exposure to retirement-focused investments such as National Pension System (NPS) or retirement-oriented mutual funds.
These instruments offer tax benefits and are specifically designed to help individuals build a retirement corpus over the long term.
Regular Monitoring and Adjustments:
Regularly review your investment portfolio and make adjustments as needed based on changes in your financial situation, market conditions, and investment goals.
Stay informed about market trends and economic developments to make informed investment decisions.
Seek Professional Advice:
Consider consulting with a Certified Financial Planner to receive personalized advice tailored to your specific needs and goals.
They can help you develop a comprehensive financial plan, optimize your investment portfolio, and track your progress towards your retirement goal.
By following these steps and staying disciplined in your investment approach, you can work towards achieving your goal of creating a corpus of 3-4 crores for retirement.

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10902 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Oct 03, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 28, 2024Hindi
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Sir, This side Pulakesh Akhuli is here now ,I want to make 1 crore in 20 years for my retirement life. Please suggest my how and where to invest ??
Ans: Pulakesh, it’s great that you have set a specific goal for your retirement. Accumulating Rs 1 crore in 20 years is achievable with disciplined investments. Let’s break it down to guide you step by step.

Assessing Investment Options
You should focus on investments that generate inflation-beating returns over the long term. For a 20-year horizon, equity mutual funds are a good choice. Equity tends to outperform other asset classes in the long run.

Here are the broad investment options to consider:

Equity Mutual Funds: These provide higher returns by investing in stocks. Historically, they’ve given an average of 12%-15% over the long term. Actively managed funds can give an edge over index funds because they are designed to outperform the market.

SIP (Systematic Investment Plan): It’s ideal to invest monthly in mutual funds through SIPs. This helps in averaging out market volatility over time and keeps your investment consistent.

Balanced Funds: These funds invest in a mix of equities and debt. This balance helps reduce risk and gives you stable returns while protecting capital.

Public Provident Fund (PPF): You can also continue investing in PPF for the tax benefits. Though returns are lower compared to equities, it's a safe option and helps diversify your portfolio.

Estimating Your Monthly Investment
For a target of Rs 1 crore in 20 years, you need to calculate how much to invest every month. Since equity mutual funds may generate around 12%-15% returns annually, you can start a SIP based on this expected return.

An approximate monthly SIP of Rs 8,000–10,000 in good mutual funds can help you reach your goal. Since SIPs allow you to increase your investment every year, you can step up your SIPs by 5%-10% yearly to stay on track.

Fund Allocation
Here’s how you can structure your investments:

Equity Large Cap Funds: Allocate 40% to these funds for stability and steady growth.

Mid and Small Cap Funds: Allocate 40% to these funds for higher growth potential. These tend to outperform large-cap funds over the long term.

Balanced Funds or Hybrid Funds: Allocate 20% to these funds for lower risk. This provides a cushion against market volatility.

Why Actively Managed Funds?
Avoid index funds for now. Actively managed funds tend to give better returns than index funds in the Indian market, where fund managers have more opportunities to outperform benchmarks.

Review and Adjust Regularly
Your investment journey will require regular monitoring. Every year, assess the performance of your mutual funds. If a particular fund is underperforming, consider switching to a better one. Working with a Certified Financial Planner ensures you get expert advice in line with your changing financial situation.

Risk Management
Emergency Fund: Keep at least 6-12 months’ worth of living expenses aside in liquid funds or a fixed deposit.

Insurance: Ensure you have adequate life and health insurance to protect your financial future.

Final Insights
Your Rs 1 crore goal is achievable with proper planning and consistent investments. Starting with Rs 8,000-10,000 per month in equity mutual funds should set you on the right path. Regularly stepping up your SIPs will help you keep pace with inflation and rising costs.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10902 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 02, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 02, 2025Hindi
Money
I am 50 year old , monthly income 75 k after deductions. pF + vpf is one lakh per month, have shares worth 50 lakhs, aim to achieve 3 crores in the next 8 years, pls advise
Ans: Reaching Rs 3 crores in 8 years from where you are today is possible with proper planning and disciplined investing. Let us break down your financial landscape and provide step-by-step strategies to help you reach your target.

Your willingness to share details helps with a 360-degree plan. You already have a strong start. You are 50 years old, earning Rs 75,000 monthly after deductions. You invest Rs 1 lakh in PF and VPF. You hold shares worth Rs 50 lakhs. Your target is Rs 3 crores in the next 8 years.

This is a good starting point. You have time. You have savings. And you have clarity. Let us assess your current position and design a solid plan.

1. Assessing Current Assets and Liabilities

Your PF and VPF total Rs 1 lakh monthly. This is quite strong.

You own shares worth Rs 50 lakhs. This is a significant head-start.

You did not mention any loans or debts. Assuming zero liabilities for now.

There is no mention of LIC, ULIP, or investment cum insurance policies. So, no need for surrender recommendations now.

You did not mention emergency funds. If not created, please prioritise this as your first step.

Aim to keep at least 6 months’ expenses as emergency fund. Keep this in liquid mutual funds.

This fund protects your investments from unplanned withdrawals. It builds safety and peace.

2. Evaluating Monthly Cash Flow and Savings Efficiency

You earn Rs 75,000 per month after deductions. PF and VPF already take Rs 1 lakh monthly.

If this Rs 1 lakh is being contributed from your gross income, you are saving well.

But if the Rs 75,000 is after investing Rs 1 lakh in PF + VPF, savings rate is excellent.

Either way, you are serious and disciplined. That matters most.

It is important to analyse your monthly expenses. Review them in detail.

See if you can allocate more towards mutual funds or equity investments.

Try to keep at least 30% of net income in liquid form for safety.

Revisit your budget every 6 months. Adjust for inflation and goals.

3. Role of Provident Fund in Wealth Building

Your EPF and VPF give fixed, tax-free returns. That’s a good base.

But they offer modest growth. Equity gives better long-term returns.

At your age, a mix of safety and growth is vital. Balance both well.

Don’t depend only on fixed-income tools for future wealth.

PF alone may not help reach Rs 3 crore in 8 years.

Hence, mutual funds and equity must play a key role.

Do not withdraw from PF before retirement. Let it grow quietly.

Use it as your safe fallback for retirement needs.

4. Understanding Equity Holdings and Portfolio Allocation

You already have Rs 50 lakhs in shares. That is encouraging.

But the key question is: Are they well diversified?

Don’t put all in one or two companies. Spread across 15–20 quality stocks.

Focus on large caps, some mid caps, few sectoral, not just high-risk small caps.

Rebalance once a year. Book profits in winners. Trim losses carefully.

Review fundamentals of the stocks you hold. Stay away from speculation.

If unsure, switch to mutual funds managed by professionals.

Mutual funds give diversification, expert research, and active rebalancing.

Avoid investing directly in stocks if you lack the time or skill.

5. Mutual Funds – The Growth Engine for Your Wealth

Mutual funds can play the most important role in your plan.

Choose actively managed mutual funds through a Certified Financial Planner.

Avoid direct funds. Regular plans offer guidance and handholding.

Direct funds look cheaper, but lack professional service and timely advice.

A Certified Financial Planner backed MFD helps monitor performance and rebalancing.

Don’t ignore the value of this support, especially during market ups and downs.

Regular plans ensure you do not stop or panic in corrections.

Use SIPs and lump sum wisely in mutual funds.

Aim for a mix of large cap, flexi cap, and balanced advantage funds.

Refrain from index funds.

Index funds may seem low cost, but offer no protection in volatile times.

They simply mirror markets. No human skill is used.

They don’t aim to outperform. They only follow.

Actively managed funds aim for better returns.

Fund managers take informed calls based on research and analysis.

This gives your money a better chance to grow.

Especially when market conditions are uncertain or fast changing.

You get better risk control and timely adjustments.

In your case, growth and capital protection both matter.

So avoid passive index strategies. Choose active managed funds wisely.

Invest with goals, timelines, and asset allocation in mind.

6. Tax Planning and Withdrawal Efficiency

When you invest in equity mutual funds, hold for long term.

Selling after one year gives you long term capital gains tax.

LTCG above Rs 1.25 lakh will attract 12.5% tax.

Selling before one year is short term capital gain.

STCG on equity is now taxed at 20%.

Debt funds are taxed as per your slab.

Plan your redemptions smartly. Spread over financial years.

Harvest profits in tranches. Avoid sudden large withdrawals.

Maintain proper records of purchase dates and NAVs.

Work with your CFP to prepare a tax-smart withdrawal plan.

7. Reviewing Insurance and Contingency Cover

Health insurance is essential. Ensure you have Rs 5 to 10 lakhs cover.

Buy separate personal health policy, not just employer one.

Check for critical illness and hospital cash add-ons.

Also review term life cover.

You did not mention any life insurance.

If you have dependents, term cover is vital.

Do not invest in policies that mix insurance and investment.

Keep your insurance and investments separate always.

Investment policies give low returns and high costs.

Pure term plans are better. They protect your family properly.

8. Preparing for Retirement and Income Planning

You are 50. Retirement may come in 8 to 10 years.

Rs 3 crore corpus is your goal. That’s a realistic number.

But also consider monthly income needs post-retirement.

Rs 3 crore can give Rs 90,000 to Rs 1 lakh monthly.

But this depends on inflation, health costs, and lifestyle.

So prepare for flexible income plans.

Use a mix of SWP from mutual funds, dividends, and interest.

Keep part of corpus in hybrid funds or balanced funds.

These give stability plus moderate growth.

Don’t rely only on FD interest.

Fixed interest may not beat inflation in the long run.

Invest with care. Withdraw with strategy.

Work with your Certified Financial Planner for a personalised withdrawal blueprint.

9. Inflation, Longevity, and Market Risk

Inflation eats into future purchasing power. Plan with this in mind.

Rs 1 lakh today may feel like Rs 50,000 after 15 years.

Healthcare inflation is even higher than general inflation.

Market risk must also be respected.

Equity can fall suddenly. But long-term returns remain strong.

That’s why asset allocation is key.

Keep 60–70% in equity, balance in safer debt or hybrid funds.

As you near retirement, shift gradually to low-risk instruments.

But don’t exit equity fully. You need it for long-term growth.

Retired life can be 25–30 years. Plan accordingly.

10. Tracking Progress and Reviewing Plan Regularly

Review your investments every 6 months.

Track whether you are moving towards Rs 3 crore steadily.

Rebalance portfolio based on market conditions and life changes.

Stay in touch with your Certified Financial Planner for updates.

They bring clarity and help you avoid impulsive decisions.

Adjust your strategy as per age, income, and health status.

Don’t compare returns blindly. Look at consistency and goal alignment.

Focus on what’s suitable, not just popular.

Long-term results come from steady execution.

Final Insights

You are disciplined and clear. That’s a big strength.

You already have Rs 50 lakhs in shares. PF + VPF support is strong.

With proper mutual fund investment, Rs 3 crore is achievable in 8 years.

But stay diversified. Stay committed.

Avoid shortcuts or market noise.

Keep investing through corrections and rallies.

Protect your downside, grow your upside.

Work with a Certified Financial Planner for regular guidance.

This helps you stay on track and stress-free.

Wealth building is not luck. It’s about consistent habits and smart planning.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

Latest Questions
Reetika

Reetika Sharma  |432 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Dec 18, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 16, 2025Hindi
Money
Hello Reetika Mam, I am 48 year having privet Job. I have started investment from 2017, current value of investment is 82L and having monthly 50K SIP as below. My goal to have 2.5Cr corpus at the age of 58. Please advice... 1. Nippon India small cap -Growth Rs 5,000 2. Sundaram Mid Cap fund Regular plan-Growth Rs 5,000 3. ICICI Prudential Small Cap- Growth Rs 10,000 4. ICICI Prudential Large Cap fund-Growth Rs 5,000 5. ICICI Prudential Balanced Adv. fund-Growth Rs 5,000 6. DSP Small Cap fund Regular Growth Rs 5,000 7. Nippn India Pharma Fund- Growth Rs 5,000 8. SBI focused Fund Regular plan- Growth Rs 5,000 9. SBI Dynamic Asset Allocation Active FoF-Regular-Growth Rs 5,000
Ans: Hi,

You can easily achieve your goal of 2.5 crores after 10 years. Your current investment value of 82 lakhs alone can grow to 2.5 crores assuming CAGR of 12% and monthly 50k SIP will give additional 1.1 crores, making a total corpus of 3.6 crores at 58.

But I see a problem with your current allocation. The fund selection is more aligned towards small caps of different AMCs and very concentrated and overlapped portfolio.
You need to diversify it so as to secure your current investment while getting a decent CAGR of 12% over next 10 years.
Focus on changing your current funds to large caps and BAFs and flexicaps and avoid sectoral funds.

You can also work with an advisor to get detailed analysis of your portfolio.
Hence you should consult a professional Certified Financial Planner - a CFP who can guide you with exact funds to invest in keeping in mind your age, requirements, financial goals and risk profile. A CFP periodically reviews your portfolio and suggest any amendments to be made, if required.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

...Read more

Reetika

Reetika Sharma  |432 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Dec 18, 2025

Money
Hi, I am 32 years old, married, and have a 4-year-old daughter. My monthly take-home salary is 55,000 rupees, and my wife's salary is 31,000 rupees, making our total income 86,000 rupees. I am currently in a lot of debt. Our total EMIs amount to 99,910 rupees (total loans with an average interest rate of 12.5%), and even with my father covering most of the monthly expenses, I still spend about 10,000 rupees. This leaves me with a shortage of approximately 25,000 rupees (debt) every month. My total debt across various banks is 36,50,000 rupees, and I also have a gold loan of 14 lakhs. I cannot change the EMI or loan tenure for another year. I also have a 2 lakh rupee loan from private lenders at an 18% interest rate. My total debt is over 52 lakhs. Now, with gold and silver prices rising, I'm worried that I won't be able to buy them again. I have an opportunity to get a 2 lakh rupee loan at a 12% interest rate, and I'm thinking of using that money to buy gold and silver and then pledge them at the bank again. Half of my current gold loan is from a similar situation – I took a loan from private lenders, bought gold, and then took a gold loan from the bank to repay the private loan. Given my current situation and my family's circumstances, should I buy more gold or focus on repaying my debts? What should I do? The monthly interest on my loans is approximately 50,000 rupees, meaning 50,000 rupees of my salary goes towards interest every month. What should I do in this situation? I also have an SBI Jan Nivesh SIP of 2000 rupees per month for the last four months. I have no savings left. I am thinking of taking out term insurance and health insurance, but I am hesitating because I don't have the money. I am looking for some suggestions to get out of these debts.
Ans: Hi Surya,

You are in a very complicated situation. This whole debt trapped needs to be worked on very judiciously. Let us go through all the aspects in detail.

1. Your total monthly household salary - 86000; monthly expense - 10000 contribution as of now; monthly EMI - approx. 1 lakhs.
2. Current loans - 36.5 lakhs from various banks at 12.5%; Gold Loan - 14 lakhs; private lenders - 2 lakhs at 18% >> totalling to 52 lakhs.
3. 50k interest per month payable - implies capital payment is very less leading to more problem.

- Keen on buying gold with loan. This is where more problem will began. Avoid buying gold using loan.
- Your focus should be on reducing your debt instead of increasing it.

Strategy to follow:
1. Close the loan with higher interest rate - 2 lakh personal lender. This will reduce your EMI and give you more potential to prepay other loans.
2. Try and take financial help from your family in prepaying small loans from banks. This can reduce your burden.
3. If you have any unused assets, can sell them to pay off your loans.

Points to NOTE:
> Avoid taking any more loans.
> When your EMI burden reduces, do make an emergency fund of 2-3 lakhs for yourself for any uncetain situation.
> Make sure to have a health insurance for yourself and family.
> Can stop your investments for now. They are of no use if your EMIs are more than your income. Can start investing once your EMI's reduce atleast by 20-30% for you.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

...Read more

Reetika

Reetika Sharma  |432 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Dec 18, 2025

Money
Hello Sir ; I am 55 years old & have decided to retire by end of 2025 . My wife is in teaching profession , earns appx. 3.5 L / annum & will continue her service till 2037( @60 yrs. of age ) . My only child is an intellectually disabled person ( with Autism ) , 14 years of age & will be incapable to earn . As on date , I have 60 L in MF , going to sell a property by end of this year @ 41 L ( it is fixed ) , appx 5L in Bank & postal FD . My wife have 45L in MF as on date & 3 fully paid premium ULIP policy which will be matured by 2030. She can get appx. 25 L from there . This is by and large my family financial status . Now , my queries to you that with this corpus , how we manage our ( myself & wife’s ) livelihood & most important that to manage a continuous cash flow for my disabled child till his age 65 i.e. 50 years from now . Primarily , I have thought of SWP & MIS schemes to get regular income for th retirement . My present family expense is appx. 1L per month . Therefore , I do seek your expert advice in this regards . I will be highly obliged if you kindly address to my query . thanking you , with best regards ; Suprabhat Jatty.
Ans: Hi Suprabhat,

Let us analyse all things in detail - one at a time.
1. 5L in Bank and FD - this is your emergency fund. But if there is a lock-in on the postal FD, you need atleast 5 lakhs in bank FD as your emergency fund.
2. Health Insurance - it is the prime requirement for you and your family. You should have one covering you, your spouse as well as your kid. It will help you in uncertain health conditions of youself and family.
3. ULIP Policy - Usually policies like such are not beneficial. But these are all paid-up, good point here. Whenever you get this, try to invest it in equity and hybrid mutual funds.
4. You will get 41 lakhs from property selling. Invest the entire amount in mutual funds, a mix of equity and debt funds.
5. Cumulative MF portfolio = 1.05 crores. As the entire corpus is huge, take the advice of a proper advisor on managing your overall investments and portfolio. A guided investment always generates better result than a random portfolio.

Your annual needs - 12 lakhs; Wife will earn - 3.5 lakhs till 2037. You need additional 8.5 lakhs per year to manage your expenses.
- You can initiate a SWP from your overall savings after allocating it in correct funds with the help of advisor.
- You need to have a dedicated corpus for your son's need in your absence. Atleast 50-70 lakhs should be kept solely for your son.
- The overall corpus seems insufficient to meet your requirements for now. You can either postpone your retirement and create an additional savings corpus for your future and son. Or you may consider to work on your monthly budget.

Do work with a professional advisor to guide you with exact funds to meet your desired goals.
Hence consult a professional Certified Financial Planner - a CFP who can guide you with exact funds to invest in keeping in mind your age, requirements, financial goals and risk profile. A CFP periodically reviews your portfolio and suggest any amendments to be made, if required.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |648 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 18, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 17, 2025Hindi
Relationship
I am 43 years old married man, arranged marriage. Married for past 13 years with 4 kids (aged 2, 3, 10 and 13). I work abroad with good salary package and live with my family. My wife is MSc. and home maker. She teaches the kids and cooks and takes good care of kids. I am academic research scholar. From the start of our marriage, I noticed my wife does not open much and moderate religious person. I am also not very extrovert person. I work from 8 am to 5 pm in office which is walkable distance from my house. After coming from office, I help her in kichen daily, look after the kids, help kids in math, clean the house, put the yougest kid to sleep, then I get some 'me' time which happens only after 11:30 pm in the night. I dont use phone untill everybody is sleep or my kids dont allow me to use phone while i am playing with them. Now sometimes I feel we are just room mates with 1-2 times sex in a month. In terms of love with my wife, I initiate all the time, she never expresses love. I am not very possessive kind of person. She does not show any interest in my work and never ask me hows my day etc. She only smiles and rarely laught. I thought may be it will improve with time. There is no money issue, she buys what ever she likes. She has her own card and I provide extra money if she asks. I assumed may be she does not like me from the beginning but staying in marriage due to family pressure and kids. I am average looking person and dont accept everything what she says in terms of investment, holiday etc. I had accepted my fate. She started doing book writing and publishing online and now earning and keeping separate account, She is very excited about it and feels happy and shares with me the publication but not the earnings. I give suggestions and money what ever she asks for marketting and promotion etc. I am happy for her. Recently I came across an email in her phone which was from her ex. There was a long deleted chat, in summary they were madly in love but could not get married, i dont know the reason or even she never spoke about him. they kept chatting even after our marriage. Her ex got married and divorsed with one grownup kid. He is single and work abroad in a different country with good salary package (may be better than mine). She emailed him after long time I guess but now she is secretly chatting with him very often. she keeps her phone locked and deletes the chats. He is also interested and asking her to leave and marry him. She is not saying yes to him but regrets that she married me. At this point I dont know if I should talk to her regarding this but she will definitely be upset to know i checked her phone. Few years back we had a major fight (that time i didnot know about her ex), i had proposed for divorse and settle it mutually if she is not happy with me but she denied and stayed. I dont know what I should do to make her happy. we both are from very respected family in the society and I dont know if her parents knew about her affair. Even though she is chatting with him but she behaves very normal with me, no fight no argument, as if nothing is happening. I dont know whats in her mind, is she just casually chatting with him or buying time, waiting for the right moment to leave? Shall I file for divorse or accept my fate as room mates. Am I worrying too much?
Ans: First, let me say this clearly: you are not worrying “too much.” Your concerns are valid. When emotional connection, affection, and curiosity about each other’s inner worlds are absent for years, and when secrecy enters the relationship, it naturally shakes trust. The fact that she is emotionally engaging with a past love, hiding communication, and expressing regret about marrying you — even if not directly to your face — is not a small or harmless thing. It doesn’t automatically mean she will leave, but it does mean there is unresolved emotional business that cannot be ignored.
At the same time, it’s important not to jump straight to extremes like divorce or silent resignation. Right now, the most important thing is clarity — for you and for her. Living as silent roommates while carrying this knowledge will slowly erode your self-worth and peace of mind. You deserve honesty, and your marriage deserves a chance to be examined truthfully, not just maintained for appearances, family reputation, or routine.
If you choose to speak to her, the way you approach it will matter far more than the fact that you looked at her phone. Try not to lead with accusation or surveillance. Lead with your emotional reality. You can say something like: you’ve been feeling emotionally distant for a long time, you feel you’re always the one initiating closeness, and recently you’ve felt even more unsettled and insecure about where you stand in her life. You don’t need to reveal every detail of what you saw immediately; the goal is to open a conversation about emotional honesty, not to trap her in a confession.
Pay close attention to how she responds. Not defensiveness alone, but whether she shows willingness to reflect, to talk about her inner world, and to consider rebuilding emotional intimacy with you. A marriage can sometimes be repaired even after emotional betrayal — but only if both partners are willing to be transparent and actively work on reconnecting. If she avoids the conversation, minimizes your feelings, or continues secrecy, then you will have important information about where the marriage truly stands.
It’s also worth acknowledging something gently but honestly: your wife may have spent years emotionally closed not because of you alone, but because she never fully processed the loss of that earlier relationship. Her recent independence and success may have stirred unresolved emotions and old longings. That explains her behavior, but it does not justify secrecy or emotional infidelity. Understanding this can help you speak with compassion without sacrificing your boundaries.
Before making any legal decisions, I strongly encourage you to consider couples counseling, ideally with someone experienced in long-term marriages and emotional affairs. A neutral space can help both of you speak truths that feel too risky at home. It will also help you understand whether she wants to stay and rebuild, or whether she is emotionally preparing to leave.
As for “accepting your fate,” I want to be very clear: accepting a life where you feel invisible, undesired, and emotionally alone is not a virtue. It is a slow form of self-erasure. Your children benefit most not from parents who silently endure, but from adults who model honesty, self-respect, and emotional responsibility.
You don’t have to decide everything right now. But you do need to stop carrying this alone. The next step is not divorce or resignation — it’s an honest, calm, courageous conversation focused on emotional truth. From there, the path forward will become clearer, even if it’s difficult.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |648 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 18, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 16, 2025Hindi
Relationship
My husband doesn't lock the door when we have s**. This was the main reason for his ex-wife to divorce him. His parents feel that it is safer to keep the door unlocked in case of emergencies. But honestly,I feel awkward. I am not comfortable. Once his sister casually walked in to pick up some stuff, ignoring us on the bed. I was clothed but it still made me feel uncomfortable. We don't have a private bedroom but we use the bed at night. There are two shared wardrobes in the room which people need to access. I have explained this to my husband but he says I need to learn to adjust and work around it. Even if the door is closed, I always fear that someone might just walk in. What to do?
Ans: This is not a small preference issue. This is about personal boundaries and bodily autonomy. Even if nothing “bad” has happened, the fear of being walked in on is enough to make your body stay tense. That anxiety alone can affect your sense of dignity, desire, and emotional security. The fact that his ex-wife divorced him over the same issue tells you that this pattern is longstanding and not something you are imagining.
Your husband and his parents may frame this as “safety” or “emergency access,” but that argument does not hold when weighed against your right to privacy. Emergencies are rare; violations of comfort are happening now. A locked door during intimacy does not mean negligence—it means respect. Many families manage emergencies with simple alternatives like knocking, calling out, or keeping keys for true emergencies. What’s happening instead is that your need for privacy is being minimized, and you are being asked to suppress discomfort for the convenience of others.
The incident with his sister casually entering is especially important. Even though you were clothed, your body registered that as a boundary breach. The fact that it was brushed off is likely reinforcing your fear that this could happen again. Over time, this can quietly erode trust and sexual comfort—not because you’re “overthinking,” but because your nervous system is constantly on alert.
You need to shift the conversation with your husband away from “adjustment” and toward non-negotiable boundaries. This isn’t about arguing logic; it’s about stating a clear emotional and physical limit. You might say something like:
“I cannot feel safe or comfortable being intimate without privacy. This isn’t something I can adjust to. If intimacy continues without a locked door, I will start avoiding it—not out of punishment, but because my body feels unsafe.”
That’s not a threat. That’s honesty.
If the room layout is genuinely impractical, then the solution is not for you to tolerate discomfort, but for the household to change logistics—restricted access at night, fixed timings, or creating a private space. Privacy is a shared responsibility, not a burden placed on one person to endure.
If your husband continues to dismiss this after you clearly express it, that’s a deeper issue than doors. It signals a lack of attunement to your emotional safety, and that deserves serious attention—possibly with a counselor, especially given that this issue has already broken a marriage before.
You are not asking for something unreasonable. You are asking for respect.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1754 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 18, 2025

Relationship
Mam, I know some ways by which i can change my state of mind from lazy to working.. and having pressure/deadline helps to move on. But still I'm get trapped in guilt of actions and don't feel confident that next time i will be able to control myself..( cuz some actions give short pleasure/gratification easily.. but guilts also). And in all those silent, sad, depressed emotional time my Real working time gets wasted.. and feels like I just live in more guilt and saddness..even if it hurts. But don't wanna live like that!! What I do?
Ans: Dear Work,
Focus in any area of Life comes only when you realize WHY you are doing WHAT you are doing in that area.
For eg: If you decide to lose weight and just randomly join the gym without understanding WHY you are in the gym, a few days later, you will drop out. Mind you, that LOSING WEIGHT is not your reason; WHY do you want to lose that weight is the only thing that will keep you focused and motivated.
Hence, if you are giving into short term distractions, then obviously whatever it is that you are doing is not interesting you and so you get easily distracted.
Take one area of your life at a time; drop your goals in paper and mark a strong WHY against each. If it isn't motivating you enough, go back to the Drawing Board and do the exercise until you find that fire in your belly.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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