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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7336 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 08, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jun 07, 2024Hindi
Money

Hi I m 48yrs old n going to retire at 60. I need ur financial advice regarding my planning to invest a lumpsum amount of 12lak in debt fund. At present m investing monthly sip of 10k for the last 4yrs.

Ans: Your proactive approach towards planning for your future is commendable. At 48 years old and with a retirement horizon of 12 years, you have a reasonable time frame to make strategic financial decisions that will secure your financial future. Let's evaluate your current situation and explore the best approach for your investment goals.

Current Investment Scenario
You have been diligently investing Rs 10,000 per month through SIPs for the last four years. Now, you plan to invest a lumpsum amount of Rs 12 lakhs in a debt fund. Let's first assess your current SIP investment and then delve into the details of debt fund investments.

Assessing Your SIP Investments
Systematic Investment Plans (SIPs) are a disciplined way to invest in mutual funds. They offer the benefit of rupee cost averaging and compounding returns over time.

Calculating the Value of Your SIPs
You have been investing Rs 10,000 per month for four years. Assuming an average annual return of 12%, let's calculate the future value of your SIP investments.

Using the formula for future value of SIP:

A = P * ((1 + r)^n - 1) / r) * (1 + r)

Where:

A = Future Value
P = Monthly SIP amount
r = Monthly rate of return
n = Total number of months
Substituting the values:

P = 10,000

r = 12% / 12 = 1% = 0.01

n = 4 * 12 = 48

A = 10,000 * ((1 + 0.01)^48 - 1) / 0.01) * (1 + 0.01)

A ≈ 10,000 * 63.448 * 1.01

A ≈ 6,41,833

Thus, your SIP investments would have grown to approximately Rs 6,41,833 by now. This is a solid foundation that you have built over the years.

Lumpsum Investment in Debt Funds
Investing a lumpsum amount of Rs 12 lakhs in a debt fund is a prudent decision, especially as you approach retirement. Debt funds are generally safer compared to equity funds and provide steady returns. Let's delve into the benefits and considerations of investing in debt funds.

Benefits of Debt Funds
Stability and Safety
Debt funds invest in fixed income instruments such as bonds, treasury bills, and government securities. These instruments are relatively stable and carry lower risk compared to equities. This makes debt funds a suitable option for preserving capital and earning steady returns.

Regular Income
Many debt funds offer regular income through periodic interest payments. This can be particularly beneficial during retirement, providing a steady cash flow to meet your expenses.

Liquidity
Debt funds are generally more liquid compared to fixed deposits and other traditional investment options. You can redeem your investments quickly without significant penalties, providing flexibility in case of emergencies.

Considerations for Debt Funds
Interest Rate Risk
Debt funds are sensitive to changes in interest rates. When interest rates rise, the value of existing bonds decreases, leading to potential capital losses. It is essential to choose debt funds that match your risk tolerance and investment horizon.

Credit Risk
Debt funds invest in securities issued by various entities. The creditworthiness of these issuers can impact the returns of the fund. It is advisable to choose debt funds with high credit ratings to minimize credit risk.

Taxation
The returns from debt funds are subject to capital gains tax. Short-term capital gains (investments held for less than three years) are taxed at your applicable income tax rate, while long-term capital gains are taxed at 20% with indexation benefits. Understanding the tax implications can help in better financial planning.

Strategic Approach to Debt Fund Investment
Diversification
Diversifying your investment across different types of debt funds can help mitigate risks. Consider a mix of short-term, medium-term, and long-term debt funds based on your investment horizon and risk tolerance.

Regular Review
Regularly review your debt fund investments to ensure they align with your financial goals and market conditions. Adjustments may be necessary based on changes in interest rates or credit ratings of the underlying securities.

Align with Financial Goals
Ensure that your debt fund investments align with your overall financial goals and retirement plan. Debt funds should complement your existing investments and provide a balanced portfolio.

Assessing Your Overall Financial Plan
Given your current investments and the additional lumpsum investment in debt funds, it is crucial to assess your overall financial plan. Let’s look at some key aspects to ensure a robust strategy.

Retirement Corpus Calculation
To determine if your current and planned investments will meet your retirement goals, it’s essential to estimate the required retirement corpus. Consider factors such as inflation, life expectancy, and post-retirement expenses.

Monthly SIP Contributions
Your existing SIP of Rs 10,000 per month is a good start. Assuming you continue this SIP for the next 12 years, let’s calculate the future value.

P = 10,000

r = 12% / 12 = 1% = 0.01

n = 12 * 12 = 144

A = 10,000 * ((1 + 0.01)^144 - 1) / 0.01) * (1 + 0.01)

A ≈ 10,000 * 279.482 * 1.01

A ≈ 28,24,151

Thus, continuing your current SIP for the next 12 years can grow your investment to approximately Rs 28,24,151.

Combining Lumpsum and SIP Investments
Let’s combine the future value of your lumpsum investment in debt funds and your SIP investments.

Assuming an average annual return of 7% for the debt fund:

A = P * (1 + r)^n

P = 12,00,000

r = 7% = 0.07

n = 12

A = 12,00,000 * (1 + 0.07)^12

A ≈ 12,00,000 * 2.25219

A ≈ 27,02,628

Total Estimated Future Value
Adding the future values of your SIP and debt fund investments:

SIP Future Value = Rs 28,24,151

Debt Fund Future Value = Rs 27,02,628

Total Future Value = Rs 28,24,151 + Rs 27,02,628 = Rs 55,26,779

Evaluating the Gap
To ensure a comfortable retirement, it is important to evaluate if this estimated future value will meet your retirement corpus needs. If there is a gap, consider increasing your monthly SIP contributions or exploring additional investment avenues.

Importance of Regular Financial Reviews
Regularly reviewing your financial plan and investments is crucial to stay on track. Market conditions, interest rates, and personal circumstances can change over time, requiring adjustments to your investment strategy.

Seeking Professional Guidance
Working with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) can provide personalized advice tailored to your financial situation and goals. A CFP can help optimize your investment strategy, manage risks, and ensure you are on track to achieve your retirement goals.

Final Insights
Your proactive approach to retirement planning and investing is commendable. By strategically investing your lumpsum amount in debt funds and continuing your SIPs, you are on the right path to building a secure retirement corpus. Regularly review your investments, adjust your strategy as needed, and consider professional guidance to maximize your financial potential. Your dedication and disciplined approach will help you achieve your retirement goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7336 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 01, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 30, 2024Hindi
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Respected Ramalingam Sir, greetings. I am 49yrs. My present investments (1). Monthly 20k SIP, (2) Rs.10lk into Equity linked MF thru STP. (3) PPF maturing by 2026 March end with 15years tenure, expecting Rs.24lk. If I target to have monthly fixed income around Rs.3 or 4lakhs after retirement at my 60yrs of age by 2036, please suggest hiw should I go further in investing? As said, PPF is maturing in 2026 March. Should i continue for 5 more years or to invest that amt in Mutual funds or sny other to ge more gain? Appreciate your expert suggestions and advise. Thank you.
Ans: It's wonderful to hear about your dedication to securing your financial future. As you approach retirement, it's natural to seek stability and security in your investments. With your SIPs and equity-linked MFs, you're already on a commendable path.

As your PPF matures in 2026, you have an opportunity to reassess your investment strategy. Consider the balance between risk and reward. Should you extend the PPF tenure or explore other avenues like mutual funds? It's a decision that requires thoughtful consideration.

Imagine the possibilities of continuing to grow your wealth over the next decade. Are there investment avenues that align better with your goals and risk tolerance? A Certified Financial Planner can guide you through this journey, offering expertise and reassurance.

Remember, investing is not just about numbers; it's about peace of mind and confidence in your future. Your journey towards financial security is a testament to your resilience and foresight. Keep moving forward with optimism and wisdom.

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Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7336 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Aug 21, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 05, 2024Hindi
Money
Hello sir, I am 44 years of age and retiring at the age of 60.I would like to know say i have an amount of Rs1 crore and would like to invest all of it in nifty 50 for 15years.can i invest it as lumpsum or doing SIP is wiser? My fund allocation would be 50c/o large cap, 30c/o mid cap, 20c/o small cap. I want to play safe with minimum risk. Am i planning well? Please advice.
Ans: At 44 years old, planning for retirement at 60 is wise. You’ve shown foresight by considering long-term investments. However, it's crucial to assess your current plan and explore better strategies to align with your risk tolerance and financial goals.

Lumpsum Investment vs. SIP
You’re considering investing Rs 1 crore into the Nifty 50 over 15 years. You’re also weighing between a lumpsum investment and a Systematic Investment Plan (SIP).

Lumpsum Investment:
Investing the entire amount at once can be risky. Markets are volatile, and timing is crucial. If the market is high when you invest, you might face significant losses if there’s a downturn. However, a lumpsum investment can also offer higher returns if the market performs well consistently. But this approach requires a strong risk appetite and confidence in market timing.

SIP Investment:
SIP allows you to spread out your investment over time. This strategy helps to average out the purchase price of units, reducing the impact of market volatility. SIP is particularly beneficial in fluctuating markets. It offers peace of mind, as you don’t have to worry about timing the market perfectly. SIP also encourages disciplined investing, which is key to long-term wealth creation.

Recommendation:
Considering your desire for minimum risk, a SIP might be a wiser choice. It allows you to invest steadily over time, reducing the impact of market volatility. This method aligns better with your objective of playing safe.

Reconsidering Nifty 50 Investment
You’re planning to invest Rs 1 crore in Nifty 50. However, let’s explore if this is the best option for your goals.

Disadvantages of Index Funds:
Investing in Nifty 50, an index fund, has limitations. Index funds track a specific market index and offer returns that mirror the index. They lack flexibility and cannot adjust to market changes. If the market is down, index funds typically follow suit, offering no protection. Furthermore, index funds don’t capitalize on the potential for outperformance, as they merely mimic the market.

Benefits of Actively Managed Funds:
Actively managed funds offer flexibility and have the potential to outperform the market. Fund managers can adjust the portfolio based on market conditions, protecting your investment during downturns. These funds also provide opportunities to tap into underperforming sectors that might have high growth potential. By choosing actively managed funds, you can benefit from professional expertise, strategic adjustments, and potentially higher returns.

Recommendation:
Given your risk aversion, consider diversifying into actively managed funds rather than focusing solely on the Nifty 50. These funds offer a better balance between risk and reward, especially over a 15-year period.

Assessing Your Asset Allocation Strategy
Your proposed fund allocation is 50% in large-cap, 30% in mid-cap, and 20% in small-cap. This allocation shows a clear intention to balance risk and reward.

Large-Cap Funds (50% Allocation):
Large-cap funds invest in established companies with stable performance. They offer moderate growth and lower risk. This allocation aligns with your desire for safety. Large-cap funds provide stability, making them a solid foundation for your portfolio.

Mid-Cap Funds (30% Allocation):
Mid-cap funds invest in companies that are growing but not yet established. They offer higher growth potential but also come with higher risk. Your 30% allocation here is reasonable, as it balances growth with risk. However, keep in mind that mid-cap stocks can be more volatile.

Small-Cap Funds (20% Allocation):
Small-cap funds target smaller companies with the potential for high growth. However, they are also the most volatile and risky. Your 20% allocation in small caps is aggressive but offers significant upside. This portion of your portfolio should be monitored closely, as small-cap stocks can fluctuate significantly.

Recommendation:
Your asset allocation is generally sound. However, given your preference for minimal risk, you might want to slightly reduce your small-cap exposure. Consider increasing your allocation in large-cap or adding a balanced fund to mitigate risk further.

The Importance of Diversification
Diversification is crucial to managing risk. While your allocation across market capitalizations is good, consider diversifying across sectors and asset classes as well.

Sector Diversification:
Ensure your investments are spread across various sectors, such as technology, healthcare, and consumer goods. This reduces the impact of poor performance in any single sector.

Asset Class Diversification:
In addition to equities, consider adding debt funds or hybrid funds to your portfolio. Debt funds provide stability and regular income, balancing the higher risk associated with equity funds. Hybrid funds, which invest in both equity and debt, offer balanced growth and reduced risk.

Recommendation:
Enhance your portfolio diversification by considering sector and asset class diversification. This will further reduce risk and provide a more stable growth path.

Managing Risk and Market Volatility
Given your goal of minimizing risk, it’s essential to implement strategies that protect your investment from market volatility.

Regular Portfolio Reviews:
Review your portfolio regularly with a Certified Financial Planner. This ensures your investments stay aligned with your financial goals and risk tolerance. Regular reviews also allow for timely adjustments based on market conditions.

Rebalancing:
Rebalancing is the process of adjusting your portfolio to maintain your desired asset allocation. This is crucial, especially after significant market movements. Rebalancing helps manage risk and ensures that your portfolio remains aligned with your goals.

Emergency Fund:
Before investing Rs 1 crore, ensure you have an emergency fund in place. This fund should cover at least 6-12 months of living expenses. An emergency fund provides a financial cushion, allowing you to stay invested even during market downturns.

Recommendation:
Incorporate regular portfolio reviews, rebalancing, and an emergency fund into your financial plan. These steps will help manage risk and ensure your investments remain on track.

Final Insights
You have a solid foundation for your retirement planning. Your focus on long-term investment and asset allocation is commendable. However, consider the following to optimize your plan:

Opt for SIP over lumpsum investment: It aligns better with your goal of minimizing risk.

Consider actively managed funds: They offer flexibility and the potential for higher returns.

Diversify further: Look beyond Nifty 50 and consider sector and asset class diversification.

Monitor your portfolio regularly: Work with a Certified Financial Planner to review and rebalance your portfolio as needed.

Maintain an emergency fund: This will provide financial security during market downturns.

By implementing these strategies, you can achieve a safer and more rewarding investment journey, ensuring a comfortable retirement.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7336 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Sep 17, 2024

Money
Hi Dev Ashish, I amn 55 years old and doing SIP of about 53K Monthly since 2018 in below MF schemes. Aditya Birla sun life flexi cap, axis flexi cap, camera rob small cap, axix mid cap, HDFC mid cap, icici pru opportunity,Nippon India large cap, kotak emerging, icici prud equity and debt, icici prud flexi cap respectively. And till date invested about 30 L and current portfolio is about 49 L. Would like to have corpse about 2 corore at age 60.( 5 years left) Can you advise, the invested funds are good to achieve? Thanks kam
Ans: At age 55, you have a well-established mutual fund portfolio with an impressive investment track record. You’ve been consistently investing Rs. 53,000 monthly into various mutual funds since 2018. Your current investments total Rs. 49 lakh, and your goal is to achieve a corpus of Rs. 2 crore by the time you reach 60.

Achieving Rs. 2 crore in five years is an ambitious target, but with your disciplined approach, it’s certainly within the realm of possibility. Let’s take a detailed look at your current investments, their performance, and the necessary steps to help you achieve your financial goal of Rs. 2 crore.

Diversification in Your Portfolio
You have wisely spread your investments across different types of mutual funds, such as:

Flexi-cap funds
Large-cap funds
Mid-cap funds
Small-cap funds
Hybrid (equity and debt) funds
Diversification is one of the key principles of successful investing. By investing across these different categories, you’re minimizing the overall risk while potentially maximizing returns. Each fund category comes with its own risk-reward profile:

Flexi-cap funds: These funds have the flexibility to invest across market capitalizations. This allows the fund manager to switch between large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap stocks based on market opportunities. This flexibility can provide a balanced risk-return profile.

Large-cap funds: These funds invest in well-established, financially sound companies. Large-cap companies tend to be more stable and offer relatively lower risk compared to mid-cap or small-cap stocks. These funds are ideal for those nearing retirement due to their stability.

Mid-cap and small-cap funds: While these funds have higher growth potential, they also carry higher risks. They tend to be more volatile and are generally suited for long-term investors who can withstand market fluctuations. As you near retirement, it’s essential to reduce exposure to these riskier funds to avoid potential losses.

Hybrid (equity and debt) funds: These funds offer a mix of equity and debt investments, providing a balanced risk-return profile. They are less volatile than pure equity funds and are suitable for investors looking for a stable and predictable return over time.

Your choice of hybrid funds also adds stability to your portfolio, which is crucial as you approach retirement. However, given the short time horizon (five years), rebalancing your portfolio might help improve the likelihood of reaching your goal.

Is Your Current Strategy Enough?
Let’s now address the big question: Can you reach Rs. 2 crore in five years with your current investments? Based on your current portfolio of Rs. 49 lakh and a monthly SIP of Rs. 53,000, you would need an annualized growth rate of around 26-28% to meet your Rs. 2 crore goal.

While this growth rate is not impossible, it is quite aggressive, especially considering the potential market volatility over the next five years. Achieving such high returns consistently can be challenging. Stock markets, while rewarding in the long term, can be unpredictable in the short term.

To help you achieve your financial goal of Rs. 2 crore, let’s explore some strategies that could enhance your portfolio’s growth while managing risk effectively.

Steps to Achieve Rs. 2 Crore in 5 Years
Increase SIP Contributions
While your current SIP of Rs. 53,000 per month is substantial, increasing your monthly contribution could significantly enhance the growth of your portfolio. Consider increasing your SIP by Rs. 20,000 to Rs. 30,000 per month. An additional Rs. 30,000 in SIPs could bring in approximately Rs. 18 lakh over five years, excluding the potential returns.

Increasing your contribution is one of the most effective ways to bridge the gap between your current portfolio and your Rs. 2 crore goal. This will also reduce the reliance on high market returns to achieve your target.

Rebalance Your Portfolio
As you are approaching retirement, it’s important to reassess your asset allocation. You’ve done a great job of diversifying across multiple fund categories, but you should now consider rebalancing your portfolio to reduce exposure to riskier funds like small-cap and mid-cap funds.

Reduce exposure to small-cap and mid-cap funds: These funds tend to be volatile, and while they offer higher growth potential, they also come with higher risk. Since you’re just five years away from retirement, it would be prudent to lower your exposure to these funds and shift more towards large-cap and hybrid funds.

Increase allocation to large-cap and hybrid funds: Large-cap funds provide more stability and consistent returns, which are crucial as you approach retirement. Hybrid funds offer a mix of equity and debt, providing a safer and more predictable return. By increasing your allocation to these funds, you reduce the overall risk while still maintaining growth potential.

Actively managed funds: Your current portfolio includes several flexi-cap and mid-cap funds. Actively managed funds can be beneficial for investors with a shorter time horizon. Fund managers have the flexibility to adjust the portfolio based on market conditions. This is especially important in the next five years when you need to minimize losses and capture opportunities. It’s better to avoid index funds, which are passive and may not adapt well to market fluctuations.

Consider Increasing Debt Exposure
Debt instruments provide safety and steady returns, which can be valuable in your pre-retirement years. You’ve already included hybrid funds, which have a debt component, but increasing your exposure to debt through pure debt funds or balanced advantage funds can add further stability to your portfolio.

Investing in debt funds provides a cushion against market volatility and ensures that a portion of your portfolio remains unaffected by stock market movements. Since your time horizon is short, balancing the risk-return equation with more debt exposure will be beneficial.

Avoid Excessive Exposure to Volatile Assets
While you may be tempted to continue investing in high-growth potential funds like small-cap and mid-cap, it’s important to note that these funds can be extremely volatile in the short term. As you approach retirement, it’s critical to protect your capital. A sudden market downturn can significantly impact your portfolio and derail your plans for retirement.

By reducing exposure to small-cap and mid-cap funds, you’re ensuring that a portion of your portfolio is insulated from extreme market fluctuations. This is especially important in the final years leading up to retirement, where preserving capital becomes as important as growing it.

Review Fund Performance Regularly
While you’ve diversified your portfolio across multiple categories, it’s essential to monitor the performance of each fund regularly. Not all funds perform consistently, and underperforming funds can drag down your portfolio’s overall returns.

Evaluate the performance: Compare each fund’s performance against its benchmark and category peers. If a fund consistently underperforms over a significant period, consider switching to a better-performing option.

Stay updated: Mutual fund performance can change over time due to various factors such as changes in fund management, market conditions, and the economic environment. Regular reviews will help ensure that your investments are aligned with your financial goals.

Focus on Long-Term Consistent Performers
When selecting funds or rebalancing your portfolio, it’s crucial to focus on funds that have a proven track record of delivering consistent returns over the long term. Funds that have weathered market volatility and provided steady growth are likely to continue performing well.

By investing in consistent performers, you reduce the risk of market shocks and increase your chances of achieving your Rs. 2 crore target.

Increase Exposure to Safer Assets as You Near Retirement
As you approach retirement, it’s advisable to shift a portion of your portfolio towards safer, less volatile investments. This could include large-cap funds, debt funds, and hybrid funds with a focus on preserving capital. The aim is to ensure that your portfolio remains protected from sudden market downturns, especially as you near your retirement date.

By gradually increasing your allocation to safer assets, you’ll reduce risk while still allowing your portfolio to grow steadily.

Additional Financial Planning Considerations
Beyond adjusting your investment strategy, here are other financial planning aspects to consider:

Emergency Fund: Ensure that you have a sufficient emergency fund in place. This should cover at least 6-12 months of your monthly expenses. An emergency fund acts as a safety net, ensuring that you won’t have to dip into your investments in case of unexpected expenses.

Health and Life Insurance: While you already have health and term insurance, ensure that the coverage is adequate to cover any potential medical expenses in retirement. Health care costs tend to rise in later years, and having comprehensive insurance coverage can protect your retirement savings.

Estate Planning: Ensure that your estate planning is in place, especially if you have dependents. This includes drafting a will and nominating beneficiaries for your investments and insurance policies. Estate planning ensures that your wealth is passed on smoothly to your family in case of any unforeseen circumstances.

Finally
Achieving Rs. 2 crore in the next five years is possible with disciplined investing and prudent adjustments to your strategy. Increasing your SIP contributions, rebalancing your portfolio, and focusing on long-term consistent performers will help boost your portfolio’s growth while managing risk effectively.

Additionally, safeguarding your financial well-being through insurance, tax planning, and estate planning is crucial as you approach retirement.

By taking these steps, you can ensure that you are well-prepared for a comfortable and secure retirement.

Best regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner
www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

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Ravi Mittal  |475 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

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I am talking to a boy for arranged marriage. He said me that come to Bangalore you will have a good career. But he is also asking me if I can leave my job if I have got some responsibility in life to which I said yes. Then I said that I prefer own cooked food over cook cooked food. Then he asked me if I can cook for 2 people to which I said that I will have to look if I can do. He seems to be supportive when he talks on phone. Is he brain washing me, should I say yes or no. Is he a red flag. What should I do.
Ans: Dear Moumita,
It isn't fair to label someone as a red flag over a few days of conversation; seeing women take up responsibilities of home and disregard their own career or needs might be what he has seen growing up and it's not him being a red flag intentionally. A lot has to do with upbringing. What I can suggest with confidence is that if you love having your own job, and your own financial independence then please be vocal about it. Just because he is asking you to leave your job doesn't mean you have to do it- you are only in the talking phase. You are not married yet. You have ample time to rethink your choice. Cooking and housework shouldn’t just be your responsibility, just like earning and providing shouldn’t only be his. It’s about sharing the load equally. Having said that, I should also mention that every relationship is different, and each couple finds their own way of balancing things. Ultimately, everything boils down to what you are comfortable with- please take some time to figure that out and only then decide whether or not to take this relationship ahead.

Hope this helps.

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Asked by Anonymous - Dec 25, 2024
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Taking a step back, as you’ve done now, can give you the clarity to evaluate what you truly want and need in a relationship. If trust feels irreparably broken or if her behaviors and values are fundamentally misaligned with yours, it may be time to consider whether staying in this relationship is the healthiest choice for you. You deserve a partner who respects your boundaries and builds a connection based on mutual trust and understanding.

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Asked by Anonymous - Dec 23, 2024Hindi
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Hi Anu, My husband is in living relationship with another lady since April in another country. At the same time, he acused me as selfish for doing my PhD in my native country and put me in mental trauma by verbally accusing.Also,he was very clever, he step by step get rid of all the things related to our relationship and took bank all the bank fund in my name.After that he blocked me.I had doubts on his extra marital and asked him 1000 times. But he simply insulted and blocked me from all social media eventually. After finishing my PhD pre submission, when i went to meet him, in his place. I found him, shifted to another apartment. But i somehow, found it and there i came to knew, he is staying with a lady there for past months. I broke down and informed all his friends. Now he is threatening me for signing mutual consent, otherwise he will make false allegations and tore my good name..Already he partially did that. When I talked to his friends, he was crooked enough to tell them, i am a psycho, ademant, career oriented lady. I told him i am ready to give him mutual divorce after once we met in person. I want to ask him why he cheated me.but he is not ready to meet, he is asking me to talk to his advocate. What shall I do now?
Ans: While it’s natural to want answers and closure, sometimes people who betray us in such profound ways refuse to provide the accountability we seek. Closure doesn’t always come from the other person. It can come from recognizing that their actions stem from their own flaws and failings, not because of anything lacking in you. It can come from choosing to let go of the need for explanations and focusing instead on rebuilding your own sense of peace and purpose.

You’ve already demonstrated incredible strength by standing up to him and exposing the truth to his friends. That takes courage. But this is also a time to lean into your inner resilience and ensure you’re supported by professionals who can guide you through the legal and emotional complexities. Speaking with a family lawyer who understands the nuances of your situation will help you feel empowered to navigate his threats and protect your rights. At the same time, connecting with a counselor or therapist can offer a safe space to process your emotions and begin to heal from this trauma.

It’s okay to grieve the relationship and the betrayal. It’s okay to feel anger, sadness, or even numbness at times. These emotions are all part of the process of moving forward. Allow yourself to feel them without judgment, but also remind yourself that this pain is temporary and does not define you. You are more than what has been done to you.

When you feel ready, try to shift your focus away from him and his actions and toward your own well-being and future. You’ve worked so hard on your PhD and have built a life full of potential and possibility. This chapter doesn’t have to define the rest of your story. You are capable of creating a life that is free from manipulation and filled with self-respect, joy, and the kind of peace that comes from living authentically.

Lean on the people who believe in you, who see your value, and who can remind you of your strength when you feel unsure. Remember, you don’t have to handle this alone. Whether it’s through professional guidance or emotional support from trusted loved ones, there are paths forward that will help you rise above this situation. You deserve a life where your worth is honored, your boundaries are respected, and your happiness takes center stage.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |447 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 23, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hello, I am a 35-year woman from Manali, divorced for three years now. My family is constantly pushing me to get remarried, saying it’s ‘for my own good.’ But honestly, I don’t feel the need for marriage again. I’m financially stable, have great friends, and I genuinely enjoy my independence. Despite explaining this to my family multiple times, they keep bringing up alliances and even guilt-trip me, saying things like, ‘Who will take care of you when you’re older?’ or ‘What will society think?’ I’m exhausted from these arguments and feel like I’m being cornered into something I don’t want. How do I stand firm in my decision while maintaining my relationship with my family? How do I help them understand that being single is a choice, not a problem to fix?
Ans: When speaking to your family, try to approach the conversation from a place of empathy. Acknowledge their intentions by telling them you understand their worries and that they want what they believe is best for you. Express gratitude for their care—it often helps diffuse their defensiveness. However, it’s equally important to gently but firmly assert that your happiness is not dependent on remarriage. Share how content you are with your current life, emphasizing your financial stability, fulfilling friendships, and personal growth.

Sometimes families struggle to accept choices that diverge from traditional norms, often driven by fears about societal perceptions or imagined futures. Reassure them that your decision is rooted in thoughtful consideration and self-awareness, and that you’ve built a life that brings you peace and joy. If they bring up concerns like loneliness or old age, you can address these by expressing how you’ve cultivated strong support systems and how your independence equips you to face challenges.

It might also help to set gentle boundaries. For instance, you could say, “I appreciate that you care for me, but I’d like our time together to focus on enjoying each other’s company instead of discussing remarriage.” It’s okay to redirect conversations or take a break from them when you feel cornered.

Lastly, remember that changing deeply ingrained beliefs takes time. Your family might not immediately understand your perspective, but consistency and calm communication will help over time. It’s not your responsibility to conform to their expectations if doing so diminishes your sense of self. By staying true to your values while showing compassion for their concerns, you’re paving the way for mutual respect and understanding.

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Dr Nandita

Dr Nandita Palshetkar  |36 Answers  |Ask -

Gynaecologist, IVF expert - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 19, 2024Hindi
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Health
Dr, I’m 35 years old from Jamnagar, and my husband and I have been trying for a baby for the past year, but nothing seems to be working. I recently visited a fertility clinic in neighborhood , and after a few tests, they mentioned that I might have blocked fallopian tubes. The gynaec also talked about possible treatments like surgery or IVF, but I’m really confused and worried. Should I go for a laparoscopy to check the severity, or are there any other alternatives that could help me? I’m really anxious and just want to understand my options better before making any decisions.
Ans: History noted.
Considering your age 35 years, trying to conceive since, one year and few test done, one of which suggest possibility of tubal blockage, there are various modalities of treatment.
Firstly, you can do laparoscopy to note the severity if blockage and do tubal cannulation.
Tubal cannulation is often the first line of treatment for patients with blocked fallopian tubes because it's a non-invasive procedure that's widely available.
Tubal cannulation is a procedure that can unblock fallopian tubes and is highly successful for proximal tubal blockages, with a success rate of over 80%. However, it may not be successful for all patients and is not recommended for distal tubal occlusions.
This procedure if successful can avoid IVF procedure. Laparoscopy has…
Yes, before ivf get all your blood test, ecg, 2 D echo, xray chest to rule out any illness
Same with your husband to get semen analysis and viral markers with blood sugars to be done.

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Dr Nandita

Dr Nandita Palshetkar  |36 Answers  |Ask -

Gynaecologist, IVF expert - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 17, 2024Hindi
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Health
Hello Doctor, I’m in my late 20s, and lately, I’ve been feeling like something’s off with my body. My periods either show up way too early, sometimes not at all for months. And, I’ve been putting on weight even though I haven’t changed my diet or exercise routine. My skin has also turned into a battlefield with acne all over, which I never used to have before. My cousin, who’s around my age, just found out she has PCOS, and her mom (my aunt) went through something similar when she was younger. Now, I’m scared because I’ve been hearing all these horror stories about how it can affect fertility, and I’m not even married yet. What if it’s a family thing and I end up facing the same problems? My mom says, ‘Don’t worry, it’ll be fine,’ but I can’t stop thinking about it. Should I see a gynecologist, or is there another kind of doctor I should be visiting? What tests should I do to get to the bottom of this before it gets worse? Honestly, I’m feeling overwhelmed and just want to know what’s going on before it’s too late.
Ans: Hello, noted your concerns
You are in late 20’s with irregular periods, acne, weight gain,
You are undergoing hormonal imbalance
We need to do certain blood test like
CBC, tsh prolactin fasting insulin level
Hba1c, testosterone level
DHEA, LH FSH ESTRADIOL LEVEL
Amd AMH level to check for fertility level
Usg pelvis to rule out
Pcos
The mainstay treatment. For pcos is lifestyle changes
1) Daily exercise, walks. Zumba, running
2) Good nutritious food with proteins, vitamins, minerals, low carbs and fats
3) good adequate sleep 7 to 8 hours
4) stress management: yoga meditation, breathing exercise
5) supplements to controls effects of pcos
6) low dose OC PILLS TO regularize the cycles

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