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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10870 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 29, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Chirosunder Question by Chirosunder on May 29, 2024Hindi
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Sir, I want to invest rs.2500 per month for 15 years and want to step up sip rs 500 per year on it. May i achieve 50 lakh after 15 years. Pl. Give suggestions how many years should I invest to achieve my 50 lakh by investing rs.2500 with step up each year rs.500.

Ans: Investing regularly and increasing your contributions over time is a smart strategy for building wealth. Let's explore whether you can achieve your goal of Rs 50 lakhs by investing Rs 2,500 per month, with an annual step-up of Rs 500, over 15 years.

Understanding Your Investment Plan
You plan to start with an SIP of Rs 2,500 per month and increase it by Rs 500 each year. This step-up strategy can significantly enhance your returns over time.

The Power of SIP with Step-Up
Regular Contributions
SIPs help you invest a fixed amount regularly, averaging out market volatility. This disciplined approach builds wealth steadily.

Annual Step-Up
Increasing your SIP by Rs 500 each year boosts your investment significantly. This compounding effect can accelerate your wealth accumulation.

Evaluating the Potential Growth
Long-Term Horizon
A 15-year investment horizon is substantial. This period allows your investments to grow and recover from any short-term market fluctuations.

Expected Returns
Mutual funds, especially equity funds, have historically provided good returns over the long term. A well-chosen portfolio can yield competitive returns.

Achieving Rs 50 Lakhs: Analysis
Initial SIP
Starting with Rs 2,500 per month lays a strong foundation. Regular contributions add up over time.

Annual Increment
Increasing your SIP by Rs 500 each year adds to your corpus. This gradual increase makes a significant difference over 15 years.

Is 15 Years Enough?
Calculation Assumptions
To achieve Rs 50 lakhs, your investment needs to grow at a certain rate. The exact rate depends on market conditions and fund performance.

Potential Outcome
Assuming a moderate return, you might not reach Rs 50 lakhs in 15 years with the given contributions. However, extending the investment period can bridge the gap.

Extending the Investment Period
Additional Years Required
By extending your investment period beyond 15 years, you can leverage compounding further. This reduces the required return rate to achieve your goal.

Incremental Growth
Even a few extra years can make a significant difference. The longer your money stays invested, the more it grows.

Optimizing Your Investment Strategy
Diversify Your Portfolio
Diversify across equity and debt funds to balance risk and return. This strategy enhances growth potential while providing stability.

Actively Managed Funds
Consider actively managed funds. They offer potential for higher returns through expert management and market insights.

Disadvantages of Index Funds
Lack of Flexibility
Index funds track the market index. They cannot adapt to changing conditions, missing opportunities for higher returns.

Market Performance Dependency
Index funds perform in line with the market. In downturns, they reflect market losses without mechanisms to mitigate them.

Benefits of Investing Through a Certified Financial Planner
Personalized Strategy
A Certified Financial Planner tailors an investment strategy to your goals and risk tolerance. This personalized approach optimizes your investment journey.

Ongoing Management
Regular reviews and adjustments ensure your portfolio remains aligned with your objectives. Professional guidance adapts your strategy to market changes.

Regular Reviews and Rebalancing
Importance of Reviews
Review your portfolio regularly. Ensure it performs as expected and remains aligned with your financial goals. Adjust as necessary.

Rebalancing
Rebalancing involves adjusting your investments to maintain your desired asset allocation. This strategy manages risk and optimizes returns.

Projecting Your Investment Timeline
Longer Horizon
If 15 years isn't sufficient, extend your investment horizon. A longer period enhances the power of compounding and helps achieve your goal.

Incremental Contributions
Continue increasing your SIP annually. This gradual increase significantly impacts your final corpus, bringing you closer to Rs 50 lakhs.

Conclusion
Investing Rs 2,500 per month with a step-up strategy is a robust approach. To achieve Rs 50 lakhs, consider extending your investment period beyond 15 years. Regular reviews and professional guidance optimize your investment journey, ensuring alignment with your financial goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10870 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 06, 2024

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Hello sir I m doing sip of 6.k monthly from last one year Nippon India small cap fund 2k HDFC midcap opportunity 1k Quant small cap fund 1k SBI contra fund 2.5k So please guide me how much I have to invest to reach 50 lakh in next 10 yrs.or do I need to change any investment?
Ans: Firstly, commendations on taking proactive steps towards securing your financial future by investing in SIPs. It’s great to see your commitment and consistency in building wealth through mutual funds.

Current Investment Analysis
Your Current SIPs:

Nippon India Small Cap Fund: Rs. 2,000 monthly
HDFC Midcap Opportunities Fund: Rs. 1,000 monthly
Quant Small Cap Fund: Rs. 1,000 monthly
SBI Contra Fund: Rs. 2,500 monthly
Total Monthly Investment: Rs. 6,500

Calculating Future Value of Current Investments
To determine if your current SIPs will help you reach your goal of Rs. 50 lakh in 10 years, let's calculate the future value. Assuming an average annual return of 12%, the future value of your SIP can be estimated using the formula for the future value of an SIP:

Future Value (FV) = P × [ (1 + r)^n - 1 ] / r × (1 + r)

Where:

P is the monthly investment (SIP amount)
r is the monthly rate of return (annual return / 12)
n is the total number of investments (months)
For a 12% annual return:
r = 12/100 / 12 = 0.01

Total months n = 10 × 12 = 120

Let's calculate the future value for each SIP:

Nippon India Small Cap Fund
P = 2000
FV = 2000 × [ (1 + 0.01)^120 - 1 ] / 0.01 × (1 + 0.01)
FV = 2000 × [ 1.01^120 - 1 ] / 0.01 × 1.01
FV = 2000 × 232.97 × 1.01
FV ≈ 4,70,000

HDFC Midcap Opportunities Fund
P = 1000
FV = 1000 × 232.97 × 1.01
FV ≈ 2,35,000

Quant Small Cap Fund
P = 1000
FV = 1000 × 232.97 × 1.01
FV ≈ 2,35,000

SBI Contra Fund
P = 2500
FV = 2500 × 232.97 × 1.01
FV ≈ 5,87,000

Adding these, the total future value of your current SIPs will be:
4,70,000 + 2,35,000 + 2,35,000 + 5,87,000 = 15,27,000

Gap Analysis and Required SIP
Your goal is to accumulate Rs. 50 lakh, but your current SIPs will accumulate approximately Rs. 15.27 lakh. This leaves a shortfall:

Required Amount: Rs. 50 lakh

Current Future Value: Rs. 15.27 lakh

Shortfall: Rs. 50 lakh - Rs. 15.27 lakh = Rs. 34.73 lakh

To reach Rs. 50 lakh, you need to invest more. Let’s determine how much you need to invest monthly to bridge this gap.

Using the SIP future value formula, let's solve for P (the required monthly SIP amount) to reach Rs. 50 lakh:

50,00,000 = P × [ (1 + 0.01)^120 - 1 ] / 0.01 × (1 + 0.01)

50,00,000 = P × 232.97 × 1.01

50,00,000 = P × 235.30

P = 50,00,000 / 235.30

P ≈ 21,250

You need to invest approximately Rs. 21,250 per month to reach your goal of Rs. 50 lakh in 10 years, assuming a 12% annual return.

Reviewing Your Current Investments
Fund Performance and Diversification

Nippon India Small Cap Fund: Good for aggressive growth, but high risk.
HDFC Midcap Opportunities Fund: Balanced growth and risk.
Quant Small Cap Fund: Another high-risk, high-return option.
SBI Contra Fund: Contrarian approach, can offer good returns in underperforming sectors.
Your portfolio has a mix of small-cap, mid-cap, and contrarian strategies. It’s relatively aggressive, which is suitable for a long-term horizon but may need some balancing for risk management.

Suggestions for Portfolio Adjustment
Increase Investment Amount

To reach your goal, increase your monthly SIP to Rs. 21,250. You can adjust the distribution among existing funds or add new funds.

Diversification

Consider adding large-cap or multi-cap funds to diversify and reduce risk. Large-cap funds typically offer more stability and can balance the high-risk small-cap and mid-cap funds in your portfolio.

Why Actively Managed Funds
While index funds are popular, actively managed funds can provide better returns due to the expertise of fund managers. They can make strategic decisions and adapt to market conditions, potentially outperforming the index.

Direct vs. Regular Funds
Investing in direct funds saves on expense ratios, but it requires active management and market knowledge. Regular funds, through a Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD) with Certified Financial Planner (CFP) credentials, provide professional advice and management, which can be beneficial.

Conclusion
To achieve your goal of Rs. 50 lakh in the next 10 years, you need to increase your SIP to Rs. 21,250 per month. Diversify your investments to include large-cap or multi-cap funds to balance risk. Consider the benefits of actively managed funds and professional advice through regular funds.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10870 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 18, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 13, 2024Hindi
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Hi I am 43 years old. I am regular investor in SIP. I invest 2lacs per month in SIP. My fund value will be approximately 6.5 cr in 5 years. If I would like to retire at after 5 years and need approximately 3 lacs per month as SWP for 25 years.. Can you please let me know how many years i can sustain with 6.5 cr.? or how much 6.5cr will grow if i dont withdraw lumpsum but only SWP of 3 lacs per month for 25 years.? Thank you.
Ans: Evaluating Your Retirement Plan
Let's evaluate your plan to ensure financial stability during your retirement.

Current Investments
SIP Investment: Rs. 2 lakhs per month
Expected Fund Value in 5 Years: Rs. 6.5 crores
Retirement Plan
Monthly SWP Needed: Rs. 3 lakhs
Retirement Duration: 25 years
Sustaining Rs. 6.5 Crores with SWP
Assuming an average annual return of 7% on your investments post-retirement, let's calculate how long your corpus will sustain with a monthly SWP of Rs. 3 lakhs.

Calculating SWP Sustainability
Starting Corpus: Rs. 6.5 crores
Monthly Withdrawal: Rs. 3 lakhs
Annual Return: 7%
Using these parameters, we can estimate the duration your corpus will last.

Growth of Rs. 6.5 Crores with SWP
Corpus at Start: Rs. 6.5 crores
Annual Withdrawal: Rs. 36 lakhs (Rs. 3 lakhs x 12 months)
Annual Return on Remaining Corpus: 7%
The remaining corpus will continue to earn returns even as you withdraw funds. Let's see how it grows.

Insights and Recommendations
Sustainability: With a 7% return, your corpus can sustain for approximately 25 years with the monthly SWP of Rs. 3 lakhs.
Growth: The corpus will not only sustain but also grow, depending on the actual rate of return.
Detailed Calculation
Starting Corpus: Rs. 6.5 crores
Annual Return: 7%
Monthly Withdrawal: Rs. 3 lakhs
Yearly Breakdown (First Few Years)
Year 1: Starting Corpus = Rs. 6.5 crores

Annual Return = Rs. 6.5 crores * 7% = Rs. 45.5 lakhs
Withdrawal = Rs. 36 lakhs
End Corpus = Rs. 6.5 crores + Rs. 45.5 lakhs - Rs. 36 lakhs = Rs. 6.595 crores
Year 2: Starting Corpus = Rs. 6.595 crores

Annual Return = Rs. 6.595 crores * 7% = Rs. 46.165 lakhs
Withdrawal = Rs. 36 lakhs
End Corpus = Rs. 6.595 crores + Rs. 46.165 lakhs - Rs. 36 lakhs = Rs. 6.69115 crores
This pattern continues, showing how the corpus grows despite withdrawals, assuming a stable return.

Final Insights
Sustainable Plan: Your current plan is sustainable if the investments yield around 7% annually.
Monitoring: Regularly review and adjust your investments to maintain the desired returns.
Diversification: Ensure your investments are well-diversified to manage risks.
This plan should provide you with financial stability during retirement.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10870 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Aug 14, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 04, 2024Hindi
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Age 38, monthly income 1.2 lacs, invest time for 10yrs in SIP (STEP UP). goal 2 cr after 15 years, what will be minimum investment monthly & what are the best funds to invest for this time period.
Ans: Your goal of accumulating Rs. 2 crores in 15 years is commendable. Given your monthly income of Rs. 1.2 lakhs, it’s achievable with disciplined investing.

You plan to invest for 10 years, focusing on SIP (Systematic Investment Plan) with a step-up approach. A step-up SIP means increasing your investment amount annually, which aligns well with salary increments and inflation.

Determining the Minimum Investment
To reach Rs. 2 crores in 15 years, starting with a 10-year investment period, you’ll need a robust strategy. Let’s break this down:

Return Expectations: Historically, equity mutual funds have delivered average returns of 12-15% over the long term. For conservative estimates, let's assume a 12% annual return.

Step-Up SIP: This approach allows you to start with a lower SIP amount and increase it each year by a certain percentage, usually 5-10%. This compensates for inflation and salary growth.

Estimating SIP Amount
Given the assumptions:

Initial Monthly SIP: The initial SIP amount you need to invest would be around Rs. 30,000 to Rs. 40,000 if you step up your SIP by 10% every year.

Step-Up SIP Impact: With a 10% annual step-up, you will gradually increase your investments over time. This reduces the burden of a high initial SIP while still allowing you to reach your goal.

Final Investment Value: If you consistently follow this approach, the power of compounding and the annual increase in SIP amount will help you accumulate Rs. 2 crores.

Choosing the Right Mutual Funds
Selecting the right mutual funds is crucial for meeting your financial goals. Here are some categories to consider:

Large-Cap Funds: These funds invest in large, stable companies with a proven track record. They are less volatile and provide steady returns over the long term.

Mid-Cap Funds: These funds invest in medium-sized companies with high growth potential. They offer higher returns but come with increased volatility.

Flexi-Cap Funds: These funds have the flexibility to invest across market capitalizations, providing a balanced approach to risk and return.

Multi-Cap Funds: Similar to flexi-cap funds but with a more diversified portfolio across large, mid, and small-cap stocks.

Balanced or Hybrid Funds: These funds invest in both equity and debt instruments, offering a balanced approach with moderate risk.

Regular Review and Rebalancing
Annual Review: It’s important to review your portfolio annually to ensure it aligns with your financial goals. Adjustments may be needed based on market conditions and your financial situation.

Rebalancing: As you approach your goal, consider shifting from high-risk funds to more stable investments to protect your accumulated wealth.

Risk Management and Diversification
Risk Tolerance: Assess your risk tolerance before choosing funds. Younger investors can afford to take more risks, while those closer to retirement should focus on preserving capital.

Diversification: Diversifying your investments across different fund categories and asset classes reduces risk and increases the potential for returns.

Tax Efficiency
ELSS Funds: Consider investing in Equity Linked Savings Schemes (ELSS) for tax benefits under Section 80C. These funds have a lock-in period of three years but offer tax deductions.

Long-Term Capital Gains (LTCG): After one year, equity mutual funds attract LTCG tax of 10% on gains exceeding Rs. 1 lakh per annum. This is lower compared to other investment avenues.

Final Insights
Your goal of accumulating Rs. 2 crores in 15 years is realistic with disciplined investing. Start with an initial SIP amount that fits your budget and step it up annually.

Choose a mix of large-cap, mid-cap, and flexi-cap funds to balance risk and return. Regularly review and rebalance your portfolio to stay on track.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10870 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 20, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 06, 2025Hindi
Money
Hello sir , I m 39 years old with an monthly income 1lakh. I have 23 lakh in mutual fund , 4 lakh in PPF. I m doing anything in sip of 23000/- per month . My question is I want to accumulate 5 cr in next 15 years. N i have 23 different sip of 1000 rps in large cap mid and small cap. How much time it will require to accumulate my goal. I wil be very thankful if u can answer my question also
Ans: You are 39 years old and earning Rs. 1 lakh per month. You already have Rs. 23 lakh in mutual funds and Rs. 4 lakh in PPF. You are also investing Rs. 23,000 monthly through SIPs.

This is a good foundation. You are serious about your financial future. That is a strong point. You also have a clear goal—Rs. 5 crore in 15 years. Let us now understand your current position and how to plan better.

Summary of Your Current Investment Profile
Let us first understand where you stand:

Age: 39 years

Goal: Rs. 5 crore in 15 years

Current Mutual Funds: Rs. 23 lakh

PPF Investment: Rs. 4 lakh

Ongoing SIPs: Rs. 23,000 per month

SIP Structure: 23 SIPs of Rs. 1000 each

This gives us a fair idea. Now we assess your investments and offer an actionable plan.

Strong Steps You Have Already Taken
You are doing many things right:

You are investing every month.

Your goal is clear and long-term.

Rs. 23 lakh in mutual funds is a good base.

Rs. 23,000 SIP per month shows good discipline.

Rs. 4 lakh in PPF adds fixed income stability.

Your commitment is good. Stay consistent. Discipline matters more than timing.

Areas That Need Immediate Attention
Let us now identify where you can improve:

Too Many SIP Schemes
23 SIPs of Rs. 1000 each is too much.

Too many funds can lead to overlap.

Tracking becomes harder. Portfolio returns get diluted.

Fund house diversification is good. But excess is harmful.

You should reduce the number of funds.

Keep 5 to 7 well-chosen funds. This improves focus and performance.

Imbalance Across Categories
You said your SIPs are in large, mid, and small cap.

But didn’t mention the exact allocation.

Too much in small or mid cap may raise risk.

Large cap and flexi cap should form the core.

Ideal mix will give more stability and smoother returns.

Lack of Goal Mapping
You want Rs. 5 crore in 15 years.

But funds are not goal-linked right now.

You must align SIPs with specific goals.

This helps track progress better and take right decisions.

Let us now help you plan better.

Goal Requirement: Rs. 5 Crore in 15 Years
You want to reach Rs. 5 crore in 15 years. This is achievable. But it needs planning and regular review.

We will not do exact math here. But we will guide how to approach it.

Let us consider 3 building blocks:

Your existing corpus

Your ongoing SIPs

Step-up SIP increases every year

With a proper mix and gradual increase in SIPs, you can reach your goal.

But your current SIP amount may fall short.

So, you must increase SIP yearly by 10% to 15%.

This small step builds a huge impact.

Also, review your funds regularly.

Only then your Rs. 5 crore goal becomes possible.

Suggested Action Plan
Here is what you can start doing from now:

1. Consolidate Your SIPs
Merge similar schemes.

Retain 5 to 7 quality funds.

Avoid overlapping funds from same category.

Keep good mix of:

Large Cap (for stability)

Flexi Cap (for flexibility)

Mid Cap (for growth)

Small Cap (limited exposure)

2. Adjust SIP Allocation
Avoid giving more than 20% to small cap.

Large cap and flexi cap should form 60% to 70%.

Mid cap can be around 20% to 25%.

Small cap maximum 10% to 15%.

This gives growth + protection together.

3. Step-Up Your SIP Every Year
Increase SIP by Rs. 2000 to Rs. 3000 yearly.

This will multiply your wealth fast.

At your income level, this is practical.

Keep increasing as salary grows.

4. Link Your SIPs to Goals
Break your Rs. 5 crore into goals:

Retirement

Children’s education

Lifestyle or business goal

Allocate funds category-wise.

Track each goal separately.

This avoids confusion and panic during market fall.

5. Avoid Direct Funds
If your investments are in direct plans:

You may lack proper guidance.

There is no expert helping you choose or track.

Emotional mistakes happen easily.

Rebalancing is often missed.

Instead, invest via regular plans through a Certified Mutual Fund Distributor with CFP.

You get:

Fund monitoring

SIP realignment help

Portfolio rebalancing

Tax planning

Goal tracking

The small cost is worth the expert support you receive.

PPF Role in Your Portfolio
You have Rs. 4 lakh in PPF.

This is a good move. PPF adds safety.

But returns are low and fixed.

Use it only for partial retirement goal.

Don’t depend fully on PPF for wealth building.

Equity mutual funds will create bigger corpus over 15 years.

Keep PPF as a minor part. Let mutual funds be the core.

Emergency Fund and Insurance
Before increasing SIPs, check if you have emergency fund.

6 months’ expenses must be kept aside.

Use liquid mutual fund or savings account.

Also check:

Life insurance: pure term plan only.

Health insurance: personal + family floater.

If you have ULIP, LIC, endowment or money-back:

Check maturity values and costs.

Most of them give poor returns.

If lock-in is over, better to surrender.

Reinvest the proceeds in mutual funds.

Always keep insurance and investment separate.

Tax Planning Tips
New tax rules for mutual funds are:

Equity LTCG above Rs. 1.25 lakh is taxed at 12.5%

Equity STCG taxed at 20%

Debt funds taxed as per income tax slab

So, stay invested for long term in equity funds.

That gives better tax benefit and return.

Plan redemptions carefully to save tax.

Take help from a Certified Financial Planner if needed.

Importance of Annual Review
You must review your mutual fund portfolio once a year.

Look for:

Fund performance consistency

Change in fund manager or risk profile

Portfolio rebalancing needs

SIP increase options

Goal progress check

Use this review to stay aligned with your Rs. 5 crore target.

Don’t ignore this step.

Without review, even good plans can fail.

Mistakes You Should Avoid
Don’t spread your SIPs in too many funds.

Don’t invest without a goal.

Don’t stop SIP during market fall.

Don’t invest in direct plans without guidance.

Don’t invest only in high-risk small cap funds.

Don’t buy insurance plans for investment.

Don’t delay SIP increase for years.

Stay simple. Stay consistent. Stay goal focused.

Finally
You are already doing well. Your savings habit is strong. Your goal is clear.

But there are areas to improve:

Reduce number of funds.

Reallocate across categories wisely.

Increase SIP yearly.

Link SIPs to goals.

Exit low-return insurance plans.

Use regular plans with Certified Mutual Fund Distributor + CFP.

Review annually and rebalance when needed.

Your goal of Rs. 5 crore is realistic. It needs better structure and regular commitment.

Take every step wisely. Wealth creation is a slow but sure journey.

Be patient and stay invested. Results will come.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

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Dear Sir, I did my BTech from a normal engineering college not very famous. The teaching was not great and hence i did not study well. I tried my best to learn coding including all the technologies like html,css,javascript,react js,dba,php because i wanted to be a web developer But nothing seem to enter my head except html and css. I don't understand a language which has more complexities. Is it because of my lack of experience or not devoting enough time. I am not sure. I did many courses online and tried to do diplomas also abroad which i passed somehow. I recently joined android development course because i like apps but the teaching was so fast that i could not memorize anything. There was no time to even take notes down. During the course i did assignments and understood the code because i have to pass but after the course is over i tend to forget everything. I attempted a lot of interviews. Some of them i even got but could not perform well so they let me go. Now due to the AI booming and job markets in a bad shape i am re-thinking whether to keep studying or whether its just time waste. Since 3 years i am doing labour type of jobs which does not yield anything to me for survival and to pay my expenses. I have the quest to learn everything but as soon as i sit in front of the computer i listen to music or read something else. What should i do to stay more focused? What should i do to make myself believe confident. Is there still scope of IT in todays world? Kindly advise.
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Most people give up.
You didn’t.
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Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Dec 04, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 02, 2025Hindi
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My married ex still texts me for comfort. Because of him, I am unable to move on. He makes me feel guilty by saying he got married out of family pressure. His dad is a cardiac patient and mom is being treated for cancer. He comforts me by saying he will get separated soon and we will get married because he only loves me. We have been in a relationship for 14 years and despite everything we tried, his parents refused to accept me, so he chose to get married to someone who understands our situation. I don't know when he will separate from his wife. She knows about us too but she comes from a traditional family. She also confirmed there is no physical intimacy between them. I trust him, but is it worth losing my youth for him? Honestly, I am worried and very confused.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand how difficult it is to let go of a relationship you have built from scratch, but is it really how you want to continue? It really seems to be going nowhere. His parents are already in bad health and he married someone else for their happiness. Does it seem like he will be able to leave her? So many people’s happiness and lives depend on this one decision. I think it’s about time you and your BF have a clear conversation about the same. If he can’t give a proper timeline, please try to understand his situation. But also make sure he understands yours and maybe rethink this equation. It really isn’t healthy. You deserve a love you can have wholly, and not just in pieces, and in the shadows.

Hope this helps

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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