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I'm 48, where can I invest 10,000 rupees monthly for a guaranteed income?

Milind

Milind Vadjikar  |691 Answers  |Ask -

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Oct 09, 2024

Milind Vadjikar is an independent MF distributor registered with Association of Mutual Funds in India (AMFI) and a retirement financial planning advisor registered with Pension Fund Regulatory and Development Authority (PFRDA).
He has a mechanical engineering degree from Government Engineering College, Sambhajinagar, and an MBA in international business from the Symbiosis Institute of Business Management, Pune.
With over 16 years of experience in stock investments, and over six year experience in investment guidance and support, he believes that balanced asset allocation and goal-focused disciplined investing is the key to achieving investor goals.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Oct 09, 2024Hindi
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???????? Sir iam 48 years old Mai invest kaha karu ki meri monthly income ban jaye Or best sip 10000 repuee monhly sip kon c lagvau please help me

Ans: Hello;
If you do a monthly sip of 10 K in a flexicap type mutual fund say for eg. PPFAS flexicap fund for 10 years then you may expect to accumulate a corpus of 24.67 L considering modest return of 13%.

Happy Investing!!

*Investments in mutual funds are subject to market risks. Please read all scheme related documents carefully before investing.
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7103 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 12, 2024

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Ramalingam I am Murugesan I am 47 years old. Advise me to invest in SIP. Fund name and Amount please
Ans: Hello Murugesan, it's great to hear from you. Considering your age and investment horizon, investing in SIPs can be a wise choice to build wealth over the long term.

Given your age and the potential need for stability in your investment portfolio, you may want to consider a mix of equity and debt funds. Equity funds offer growth potential but come with higher volatility, while debt funds provide stability but typically offer lower returns.

For equity funds, you may consider large-cap or multi-cap funds, which invest in well-established companies with a track record of stable performance. These funds can provide growth potential while mitigating some of the risks associated with smaller companies.

For debt funds, you may look into short-term or medium-term debt funds, which invest in fixed-income securities like government bonds and corporate bonds. These funds offer stability and regular income, making them suitable for investors seeking capital preservation.

As for the amount to invest in SIPs, it's important to determine a comfortable amount based on your financial goals, income, and expenses. A general guideline is to aim for a savings rate of around 10-15% of your income, but this can vary depending on individual circumstances.

It's crucial to choose funds that align with your investment objectives and risk tolerance. I recommend consulting with a Certified Financial Planner who can assess your financial situation holistically and recommend a personalized investment strategy tailored to your needs.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7103 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 15, 2024

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I have monthly SIP 5K each in in Parag parikh flexi cap, Hdfc flexi cap, Nippon smal cap, ICICI value discovery , ABSL digital, DSP health care, ICICI banking, UTI next 50, motilal fund of fund
Ans: As a Certified Financial Planner, I appreciate your commitment to systematic investing through SIPs across various mutual fund categories. Let's delve into a comprehensive evaluation of your portfolio to ensure it aligns with your financial goals and risk appetite.

Diversification Assessment
Your portfolio exhibits a diversified mix across multiple fund categories, which is commendable. It encompasses flexi cap, small cap, value discovery, thematic, sectoral, and index funds. This diversification strategy spreads risk and maximizes potential returns.

Analysis of Fund Selection
Each fund category serves a specific purpose in your portfolio. Flexi cap funds offer flexibility to invest across market capitalizations, capturing growth opportunities efficiently. Small cap funds have the potential for high growth but come with increased volatility, suitable for long-term investors with a higher risk tolerance.

Value discovery and thematic funds provide exposure to undervalued stocks and emerging sectors, respectively, contributing to alpha generation. Sectoral funds like healthcare and banking focus on specific industries, offering targeted exposure and potential for outperformance during sectoral upswings.

Sectoral funds focus on one industry, so they're like putting all your eggs in one basket. If that industry struggles, your whole investment can suffer. They also tend to be more volatile than diversified funds. Consider a broader mix for a more balanced approach.
Active vs. Passive Management
While passive index funds and ETFs have gained popularity for their low costs and broad market exposure, your portfolio emphasizes actively managed funds. Actively managed funds offer the advantage of professional fund management, allowing active decisions to capitalize on market inefficiencies and generate alpha.

Importance of Regular Funds
Investing through a Certified Financial Planner can provide access to regular funds, which offer personalized advice, portfolio monitoring, and rebalancing. This approach ensures informed investment decisions tailored to your financial objectives, compared to direct investing, which may lack professional guidance and discipline.

Monitoring and Rebalancing Strategy
Regular portfolio review is essential to ensure alignment with changing market dynamics and your evolving financial goals. Periodic rebalancing maintains the desired asset allocation, mitigating risk and optimizing returns over the long term.

Conclusion
Your investment portfolio reflects a well-thought-out strategy with diversification across various mutual fund categories. Emphasizing actively managed funds and leveraging the expertise of a Certified Financial Planner can enhance portfolio performance and mitigate risk effectively.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7103 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 30, 2024

Money
Hi good morning sir I am himanshu I am NRI I invest in mutual fund monthly sip I have sbi small cap fund direct growth I sip this funds monthly 15 k and I have other funds mirae large cap and mid cap fund direct emergency blue chep funds direct growth also I make sip 15k I won't to continue 20 years after how much I get and how was this funds if you suggest any batter fund for me please for good wealth please ????
Ans: Himanshu, I’m excited to discuss your investment journey. You’ve chosen a well-rounded set of funds, which is commendable. Investing Rs. 15,000 monthly in SBI Small Cap Fund Direct Growth, Mirae Large Cap Fund Direct Growth, and Emergency Blue Chip Funds Direct Growth shows your commitment to building a robust financial future.

These funds have historically performed well, offering good returns over the long term. It’s wise to periodically review these investments to ensure they align with your long-term financial goals. Let's delve deeper into each aspect of your investment strategy and potential growth over 20 years.

Potential Growth Over 20 Years
Investing Rs. 15,000 monthly in each of the three funds amounts to Rs. 45,000 per month. Over 20 years, consistent investments, combined with the power of compounding, can result in substantial wealth accumulation. Historically, mutual funds in India have provided returns ranging from 10% to 15% annually.

For instance, if your investments grow at an average annual rate of 12%, your portfolio could grow significantly. While exact future returns can't be guaranteed, historical performance suggests that mutual funds can be a reliable vehicle for wealth creation.

Analyzing Fund Choices
Small Cap Funds
Small Cap funds, like your SBI Small Cap, invest in companies with smaller market capitalizations. These companies have the potential for high growth, making Small Cap funds high-risk, high-reward investments. They tend to outperform during bullish market phases but can be quite volatile during downturns. Staying invested for the long term can help mitigate this volatility and yield substantial returns.

Your choice to invest in a Small Cap fund indicates a willingness to take on higher risk for potentially higher returns. It’s crucial to monitor the performance of these funds regularly to ensure they continue to meet your investment goals.

Large Cap and Mid Cap Funds
Mirae Large Cap and Mid Cap funds offer a balance of stability and growth. Large Cap funds invest in established companies with stable returns, providing a solid foundation to your portfolio. These companies have a history of consistent performance and are less volatile compared to Small Cap stocks.

Mid Cap funds, on the other hand, invest in companies with medium market capitalizations. They offer higher growth potential than Large Cap funds but come with increased risk. Mid Cap funds can be a good addition to your portfolio, providing a blend of stability and growth.

Blue Chip Funds
Blue Chip funds invest in well-established companies with a history of strong performance. These companies are leaders in their respective industries and offer moderate returns with lower risk. Your investment in Emergency Blue Chip Funds Direct Growth adds a layer of stability to your portfolio.

Benefits of Diversification
Your portfolio is well-diversified across different market capitalizations – Small Cap, Mid Cap, and Large Cap. Diversification helps in spreading risk and optimizing returns. It ensures that your portfolio isn’t overly dependent on any single segment of the market.

Diversification across different types of funds can help in achieving a balanced risk-reward ratio. It’s essential to maintain this diversification and periodically review your portfolio to ensure it aligns with your changing financial goals and market conditions.

Regular Fund vs. Direct Fund
Investing through direct funds often has lower expense ratios compared to regular funds. This means that more of your money is invested in the market rather than being used to pay for fund management fees. Lower expense ratios can lead to slightly higher returns over the long term.

However, regular funds offer the benefit of professional advice from a Certified Financial Planner (CFP). A CFP can provide valuable insights and help you make informed decisions. They can also assist in adjusting your portfolio based on market conditions and personal financial goals. While direct funds may save you some money on fees, the value of professional advice can be substantial, especially for long-term wealth building.

Recommendations for Better Wealth Building
Equity Funds
Consider adding more equity-oriented funds to your portfolio. Equity funds generally have higher returns compared to debt funds. Look for funds with a consistent track record and good fund management. Equity funds can help in achieving higher growth, especially over long investment horizons like 20 years.

International Funds
As an NRI, you might benefit from diversifying into international funds. These funds invest in global markets, reducing dependency on the Indian market and providing exposure to global growth opportunities. International funds can add a new dimension to your portfolio, offering growth potential from different parts of the world.

Sectoral and Thematic Funds
Sectoral and thematic funds focus on specific sectors like technology, healthcare, or infrastructure. These can offer high returns if the sector performs well but come with higher risk due to concentration in a single sector. Adding sectoral funds can provide targeted exposure to high-growth areas, but it’s essential to balance them with other diversified funds to manage risk.

Regular Monitoring and Rebalancing
Regularly reviewing your portfolio is crucial. Market conditions change, and so do your financial goals. Periodic reviews with a CFP can help in rebalancing your portfolio, ensuring it remains aligned with your risk tolerance and financial objectives. Rebalancing involves adjusting your investments to maintain your desired asset allocation. This process helps in managing risk and optimizing returns.

Emergency Fund
Having an emergency fund is crucial. It ensures liquidity during unforeseen circumstances without disrupting your investment strategy. Typically, an emergency fund should cover 6-12 months of living expenses. This fund acts as a financial safety net, allowing you to handle emergencies without having to liquidate your long-term investments.

Long-Term Commitment
Staying invested for the long term is key. Market fluctuations are normal, but long-term investments tend to smooth out these ups and downs, leveraging the power of compounding. Compounding works best when investments are left to grow over an extended period. Resist the urge to make frequent changes based on short-term market movements.

Professional Guidance
A Certified Financial Planner can provide personalized advice tailored to your specific situation. They can help in creating a comprehensive financial plan, ensuring all aspects of your financial health are covered. Professional guidance can be invaluable in navigating complex financial decisions and staying on track towards your goals.

Evaluating Fund Performance
Historical Returns
When evaluating your funds, look at their historical returns. Consistently high returns over the years indicate strong fund management and good investment strategies. Compare the performance of your funds with their respective benchmarks to assess their effectiveness.

Risk-Adjusted Returns
It’s also essential to consider risk-adjusted returns. This metric takes into account the risk taken by the fund to achieve its returns. Funds with high returns but also high volatility might not be suitable for all investors. Look for funds that provide good returns with manageable risk levels.

Fund Manager’s Track Record
The experience and track record of the fund manager play a significant role in a fund’s performance. A skilled fund manager can navigate market fluctuations and make strategic decisions that enhance the fund’s returns. Check the credentials and past performance of the fund managers handling your investments.

Disadvantages of Direct Funds
While direct funds have lower expense ratios, they require more hands-on management from the investor. Without professional guidance, you might miss out on strategic adjustments and insights that a CFP can provide. Direct funds are suitable for knowledgeable investors who can actively manage their portfolios.

Benefits of Regular Funds Through CFP
Regular funds, though having higher expense ratios, come with the benefit of professional advice. A CFP can help in selecting the right funds, optimizing asset allocation, and providing strategic insights based on market conditions. The value of this professional guidance often outweighs the additional cost of regular funds.

Enhancing Your Investment Strategy
Setting Clear Goals
Clearly defining your financial goals is the first step. Knowing your objectives helps in selecting the right investment strategies. Whether it’s retirement planning, purchasing a property, or funding education, having clear goals allows you to tailor your investments accordingly.

Risk Assessment
Understanding your risk tolerance is crucial. Your risk tolerance depends on factors like age, income, financial obligations, and investment horizon. A CFP can help in assessing your risk tolerance and aligning your portfolio accordingly.

Asset Allocation
Optimal asset allocation is vital for managing risk and maximizing returns. Diversify your investments across different asset classes like equities, debt, and international funds. Regular rebalancing ensures your portfolio stays aligned with your risk tolerance and financial goals.

Periodic Review and Adjustments
Market conditions and personal circumstances change over time. Regular reviews of your portfolio help in making necessary adjustments. A CFP can assist in monitoring your investments and making strategic changes to optimize returns.

Tax Efficiency
Consider the tax implications of your investments. Different funds have different tax treatments, and it’s essential to factor this into your investment strategy. A CFP can help in selecting tax-efficient investment options and strategies to minimize your tax liability.

Avoiding Common Pitfalls
Overreacting to Market Volatility
Market volatility is inevitable. Avoid making hasty decisions based on short-term market movements. Staying committed to your long-term investment strategy is crucial for achieving your financial goals.

Lack of Diversification
Investing in a single asset class or sector can be risky. Diversification helps in spreading risk and optimizing returns. Ensure your portfolio is well-diversified across different asset classes and market segments.

Ignoring Professional Advice
Professional guidance from a CFP can significantly enhance your investment strategy. Ignoring professional advice can lead to missed opportunities and suboptimal investment decisions. Leverage the expertise of a CFP to maximize your investment potential.

Building a Robust Financial Plan
Comprehensive Financial Planning
A comprehensive financial plan covers all aspects of your financial health. It includes investment planning, tax planning, retirement planning, and estate planning. A CFP can help in creating a holistic financial plan tailored to your specific needs and goals.

Contingency Planning
Prepare for contingencies by having adequate insurance coverage and an emergency fund. Contingency planning ensures financial stability during unforeseen circumstances and protects your long-term investments.

Retirement Planning
Retirement planning is a crucial aspect of financial planning. Ensure you have a clear retirement goal and a strategy to achieve it. Regular reviews and adjustments to your retirement plan can help in staying on track towards your retirement objectives.

Staying Informed and Educated
Stay informed about market trends and financial news. Continuous learning and staying updated with financial knowledge can help in making informed investment decisions. Leverage resources like financial publications, seminars, and professional advice to enhance your financial literacy.

Final Insights
Himanshu, your current investment strategy is solid with a good mix of funds. Regular monitoring, diversification, and staying committed to long-term goals will help in achieving substantial wealth. Consider professional guidance for optimizing your portfolio and aligning it with your financial aspirations. Keep up the excellent work and stay focused on your long-term objectives.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Latest Questions
Anu

Anu Krishna  |1328 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 25, 2024

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7103 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Nov 25, 2024

Money
I am 50 years old, how much proportion should I allocate in Debt and Equity mutual funds. I am investing in mutual funds only. My 43 L portfolio has 37 L equity and 6 Lak debt.
Ans: Balancing your portfolio between equity and debt is critical at this stage. A 50-year-old investor should aim for a safer portfolio while ensuring reasonable growth. Since you’re already investing in mutual funds, fine-tuning your allocation can optimise returns and reduce risk.

Let’s assess your portfolio in detail and identify actionable steps for an optimal balance.

Evaluating Your Current Portfolio
Your current allocation includes:

Rs 37 lakh in equity: Around 86% of your total portfolio.
Rs 6 lakh in debt: About 14% of your total portfolio.
This equity-heavy portfolio is suitable for younger investors. At 50, you may need to rebalance to reduce volatility while retaining growth.

Recommended Allocation Strategy
A general rule is the "100 minus age" approach. However, personal goals, risk tolerance, and financial stability should guide decisions. For a 50-year-old:

Equity: 50% to 60% of the portfolio. This ensures growth and combats inflation.
Debt: 40% to 50%. This ensures stability and predictable returns.
You can adjust within this range based on personal preferences and financial objectives.

Steps to Rebalance Your Portfolio
To align your portfolio, consider these steps:

Gradually reduce equity exposure: Shift some equity investments to debt. Do this systematically over months to avoid timing risks.
Increase debt mutual funds allocation: Consider short-duration or dynamic bond funds for liquidity and moderate returns.
Use hybrid mutual funds: Balanced advantage funds can offer a mix of equity and debt with automatic rebalancing.
Why a Balanced Allocation Is Crucial
Equity: This provides growth potential to counter inflation. It supports long-term financial goals like retirement planning.
Debt: This offers stability and acts as a buffer against market downturns. It ensures liquidity for unexpected expenses.
Avoid Over-Exposure to Equity
While equity delivers higher returns, excessive exposure can increase portfolio risk. A balanced allocation shields you during market corrections.

Advantages of Actively Managed Funds
Actively managed funds can outperform the market due to professional expertise. They adjust portfolios based on market trends and opportunities.

Disadvantages of Index Funds:

They lack active monitoring during volatile periods.
They mimic the index, limiting scope for higher returns.
Their fixed composition may underperform in certain market cycles.
For long-term growth, actively managed funds offer better risk-adjusted returns.

Benefits of Regular Funds Over Direct Funds
Guidance: Regular funds come with expert advice from an MFD with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) credential.
Portfolio Monitoring: They help align your investments with changing market conditions.
Support: MFDs can guide in tax planning and rebalancing.
Direct funds, while cheaper, may lead to uninformed decisions and missed opportunities.

Tax Efficiency in Your Portfolio
Understanding new mutual fund taxation rules is essential:

Equity funds: LTCG above Rs 1.25 lakh is taxed at 12.5%. STCG is taxed at 20%.
Debt funds: Gains are taxed as per your income slab.
Consider tax implications before rebalancing to avoid unnecessary liabilities.

Maintaining Liquidity
At this stage, maintaining a portion of your portfolio in liquid funds is prudent. It helps meet short-term goals or emergencies without disturbing long-term investments.

Aligning with Retirement Goals
Your portfolio should focus on generating a steady post-retirement income. Here’s how:

Allocate more to debt as you approach retirement.
Use SWP (Systematic Withdrawal Plan) for regular income during retirement.
Retain a small equity portion to combat inflation even post-retirement.
Creating a Contingency Fund
Set aside a separate fund equivalent to 6-12 months of expenses. Use liquid or ultra-short-term debt funds for this.

Monitoring and Reviewing Your Portfolio
Review your portfolio every 6 months.
Rebalance based on market conditions and life changes.
Consult a Certified Financial Planner for adjustments aligned with your goals.
Avoid Common Investment Pitfalls
Chasing high returns: Avoid concentrating on high-risk funds at this stage.
Over-diversification: Stick to a manageable number of funds to track performance easily.
Ignoring inflation: Ensure your portfolio grows faster than inflation rates.
Building a Long-Term Perspective
Focus on wealth preservation alongside growth.
Maintain discipline in investing. Avoid reacting impulsively to market fluctuations.
Stay informed about economic and market trends affecting mutual fund performance.
Final Insights
Balancing equity and debt is essential for stability and growth in your portfolio. A 50%-60% equity and 40%-50% debt allocation aligns with your age and goals. Active management and regular reviews will help optimise returns and minimise risks.

Transitioning gradually ensures minimal disruption to your portfolio’s growth. Focus on creating a robust strategy to secure your financial future.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7103 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Nov 25, 2024

Money
One time investment in mutual fund in which fund
Ans: To decide on a one-time investment, understanding your financial goals is vital. Knowing the purpose of your investment ensures better alignment with your expectations. Your goals could be wealth creation, retirement planning, or funding a specific future expense like a child's education or marriage.

Assessing Risk Tolerance
Before choosing any investment, assess your risk tolerance. High-risk options offer better returns but can fluctuate more. If you are a conservative investor, you might prefer stability over high returns. Moderately aggressive investors balance growth and risk well.

Benefits of Actively Managed Mutual Funds
Actively managed mutual funds are an excellent choice for one-time investments. Professional fund managers make critical investment decisions based on market conditions. These funds can outperform market indices over the long term due to their strategic asset allocation.

They adapt well to market dynamics, offering higher growth potential than passive funds. Investors benefit from expertise and insights that help mitigate risks during market downturns.

Disadvantages of Index Funds
Index funds simply track market indices and lack active management. They offer no scope for market-beating returns. While their fees are lower, this comes at the cost of performance. In actively managed funds, expert decision-making can lead to better results.

Investors relying solely on index funds may miss opportunities to earn superior returns. Active funds also better suit those aiming for long-term wealth accumulation with reduced volatility.

The Issue with Direct Funds
Direct funds may have lower costs but require greater knowledge and time. Without professional advice, managing such investments can be overwhelming. Regular funds, managed through Certified Financial Planners, ensure guidance tailored to your needs.

A Certified Financial Planner monitors your portfolio’s performance, suggesting timely corrections. This professional approach ensures that your investment aligns with your financial goals efficiently.

Choosing the Right Mutual Fund Category
Select funds based on your investment horizon and risk appetite. Equity mutual funds work well for long-term goals as they provide higher growth potential. However, they carry higher volatility and are suitable only for investors with a longer time horizon.

For medium-term goals, balanced or hybrid funds are better suited. These combine equity and debt to balance risk and returns. Short-term goals are better addressed with debt funds, offering lower returns with minimal risk.

Importance of Diversification
Diversifying your investment reduces the risk of losses. It spreads your money across various sectors, ensuring market fluctuations impact your investment less. Avoid investing all funds in a single category, ensuring a mix of equity, debt, and hybrid funds.

Taxation Rules for Mutual Funds
Understand the tax implications before investing. For equity funds, long-term capital gains above Rs 1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5%. Short-term capital gains are taxed at 20%. For debt funds, all gains are taxed as per your income tax slab.

Consider tax-saving options if your goal aligns with reducing tax liabilities. While tax efficiency matters, it should not override your primary objective of wealth creation.

Importance of Lump Sum Timing
Market timing matters for one-time investments. Investing during a market correction or when valuations are reasonable ensures better growth. A Certified Financial Planner can guide you to enter the market at the right time for better results.

Monitoring and Reviewing Your Investment
A one-time investment is not set and forget. Regular reviews ensure the investment aligns with your goals. Markets evolve, and so should your portfolio. Make changes as required with the guidance of a professional.

The Role of Emergency Funds
Ensure you have an adequate emergency fund before making a one-time investment. This fund covers unforeseen expenses, preventing you from withdrawing long-term investments prematurely. Keep at least 6-12 months' expenses aside for emergencies.

Setting Realistic Expectations
Investments are subject to market risks, and returns are not guaranteed. Patience and a long-term approach yield better results. Understand the product before investing, ensuring it meets your expectations and financial objectives.

Final Insights
A one-time mutual fund investment can help achieve your financial goals effectively. However, aligning this investment with your risk tolerance and objectives is key. Actively managed funds, combined with professional advice, offer the best value for your money.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1328 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 25, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 21, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
I 25M) have been in a Long Distance Emotional Relationship with a College Friend (25F) whom I'd known since more than 3 years. Although, neither of us has explicitly confessed to each other, but we both seemed to have strong Feelings for each other. We both have shared a lot of personal matters about ourselves, with each other (which are unknown to even some of our Closest Friends). We both share similar Values & Outlook towards various aspects of Life (including our Long Term Career Goals). We both used to chat on WhatsApp almost everyday, sharing our experiences, opinions, knowledge etc. I used to Flirt with her by writing Romantic Poetry for her, once she'd also confessed that she's falling for me. But what has stopped us both from proposing Love to one another is the difference in our Family Background (I'm from a Telugu Speaking Hindu Brahmin Family & she's from a Malayali Catholic Christian Family, but we both studied together from a College in Gujarat). As of now, we both are in different States Studying/Working in different fields. But both of us have been preparing for UPSC, which is our ultimate Career Goal & we also used to discuss the Subject matter & Preparation Plans, helping out each other. Presently, the Problem is that She seems to have Ghosted me (since a Month) citing a silly reason that her Phone got Damaged (she'd said something like this even in 2021), but I see her active on various Social Media Platforms, regularly. I have tried reaching out to her through all the Social Media Platforms & have even called her up, but there's no Response at all, from her side. I am not able to understand why she has Ghosted me like this, atleast she could have honestly told me the actual Reason. Sometimes, I feel guilty that I must have been a distraction to her Studies. But I have very strong Feelings for her, which I'd never felt for any other Girl & I believe that we can have a Future together. We both could continue complementing each other in the course of UPSC Preparation & acting as each other's motivation & emotional support (as seen in the Movie "12th Fail"). And if we both successfully clear UPSC together, we could try to convince our Parents for Marriage (these are not just my Fantasies, even she had indirectly expressed her interest in sharing her Future Life with me). Now, I don't understand what to do? How to reach out to her & sort out things between us? If not reconciliation, I believe that I deserve atleast a definite closure with Honest communication. Though, I am going along with my UPSC Preparation, every now & then, I can't Help thinking of her, I'm feeling Lonely, her Emotional & Intellectual Company would be a great Help in the course of my Preparation. She's always been a Positive Motivation not a Distraction in my Career Path. Please advise me, how do I get back at her, presently, she's working in a different State, so reaching out to meet her in person is not feasible & I have unsuccessfully tried out all other means of Communication. What should I do now? I want to hear from her again, I'd feel satisfied even if she breaks it up with me, honestly stating the Reason. I am feeling restless due to this Uncertainty. Should I persistently keep trying to reach out to her, through different means, without giving up on her, until she Responds, Hoping that she'd appreciate my consistent efforts & reconsider the Relationship with me? Or would you advise any other approach, which is better, according to you?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You really need to STOP putting yourself through this.
The reason for your restless state is the dependency that you have been having on her, chats with her, the emotional base with her knowing well enough that there has been no prior agreement on commitment in this relationship. But that's the way the heart is, no?
So, there has been freedom with both of you to go away when you please, to see other people etc...

You have possibly been more into this connection that she has been into it and this has led to expectations from your end.
Go silent and maybe this will give her an idea of missing you if she truly has feelings for you. When you do this, you give yourself some breathing space as well on things that need your focus and also will also reveal if she really wants you as a part of her life. This space is difficult but really important.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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