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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6971 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 17, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Purushottam Question by Purushottam on Apr 17, 2024Hindi
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Hello sir My salary is 70k.my home loan EMI is 23000. Personal loan EMI is 18000. And credit card expenses also. Please guide how I save money

Ans: I understand that managing multiple loan EMIs along with credit card expenses can be challenging, but with a strategic approach, you can effectively save money and improve your financial situation. Here are some steps to consider:

Evaluate Your Expenses
Genuine Compliments on recognizing the need to save money despite your financial commitments. Start by reviewing your monthly expenses, including necessities like rent, utilities, groceries, and discretionary spending. Identify areas where you can cut back or eliminate unnecessary expenses.

Prioritize Debt Repayment
Your home loan, personal loan, and credit card debts are likely accruing high-interest charges, making them priority areas for repayment. Allocate a significant portion of your monthly income towards clearing off these debts as quickly as possible to reduce interest payments and free up more money for savings.

Create a Budget
Develop a realistic monthly budget that accounts for your essential expenses, debt repayments, and savings goals. Stick to your budget religiously and track your spending regularly to ensure you're staying on track. Consider using budgeting apps or spreadsheets to streamline the process.

Emergency Fund
Building an emergency fund is crucial to cover unexpected expenses or financial emergencies without resorting to further borrowing. Aim to save at least 3-6 months' worth of living expenses in a high-yield savings account or liquid investment that you can easily access when needed.

Automate Savings
Set up automatic transfers from your salary account to a separate savings account or investment account each month. This "pay yourself first" approach ensures that you prioritize savings before spending and helps cultivate a consistent saving habit over time.

Review and Negotiate
Regularly review your expenses and look for opportunities to negotiate better deals or lower interest rates on your loans and credit cards. Explore options such as balance transfers or loan refinancing to consolidate debt and reduce interest costs.

Additional Income Streams
Consider exploring additional sources of income, such as freelancing, part-time work, or selling unused items, to supplement your salary and accelerate debt repayment. Every extra rupee earned can make a significant difference in achieving your financial goals.

Seek Professional Advice
As a Certified Financial Planner, I'm here to provide personalized guidance and support tailored to your specific financial situation and goals. I can help you develop a comprehensive financial plan that addresses debt management, savings strategies, and long-term financial security.

Conclusion
In conclusion, by prioritizing debt repayment, creating a budget, building an emergency fund, automating savings, reviewing expenses, exploring additional income streams, and seeking professional advice, you can effectively save money and improve your financial well-being despite your existing financial commitments.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6971 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 13, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 11, 2024Hindi
Money
Hello Sir, My monthly income is 1.1 lakh, i ahve a personal loan of 17 lakhs for which my EMI is 37k for next 60 months, 34k is my rent and i left out with 39k, i have two kids and school fees is 1.9 lakh per annum. I am in very crital situation for money saving. Presently i have 11 lakhs in my PF and good amount of gold accumalated. Please show me right path so that i can have a good savings.
Ans: Managing finances can be challenging, especially when you have significant expenses and a family to support. However, with careful planning and strategic actions, you can improve your financial situation and build substantial savings.

Understanding Your Financial Situation
Your monthly income is Rs 1.1 lakh, but you face considerable expenses including a personal loan EMI of Rs 37,000 and rent of Rs 34,000. After these deductions, you are left with Rs 39,000. Additionally, you have annual school fees of Rs 1.9 lakh for your two children, which translates to about Rs 15,833 per month.

Analyzing Your Expenses
Let's break down your monthly expenses:

Personal Loan EMI: Rs 37,000

Rent: Rs 34,000

School Fees: Rs 15,833 (approximately Rs 1.9 lakh annually divided by 12 months)

Remaining Income: Rs 23,167 (Rs 39,000 - Rs 15,833)

This leaves you with Rs 23,167 for other expenses, savings, and investments. It's crucial to optimize this amount to ensure a good savings strategy.

Prioritizing Your Expenses
To achieve a good savings plan, prioritize your expenses. Essential expenses should be covered first, followed by discretionary spending. Here's a prioritization strategy:

1. Essential Expenses:

Personal Loan EMI
Rent
School Fees
Groceries and Utilities
2. Discretionary Spending:

Entertainment
Dining Out
Hobbies
Building an Emergency Fund
An emergency fund is crucial for unexpected expenses. Aim to save at least six months' worth of expenses. This fund will provide a safety net during financial emergencies.

Managing Debt Efficiently
Your personal loan EMI is a significant monthly expense. Consider these strategies to manage your debt efficiently:

1. Loan Restructuring:

Contact your bank to discuss loan restructuring options. Extending the loan tenure could reduce your monthly EMI, easing your cash flow.

2. Prepayment Strategy:

Whenever you receive any additional income or bonus, consider making prepayments on your personal loan. This will reduce the principal amount, leading to lower interest payments over time.

3. Consolidation:

If you have multiple loans, consider consolidating them into a single loan with a lower interest rate. This can simplify repayments and reduce overall interest costs.

Optimizing Your Expenses
Review your monthly expenses to identify areas where you can cut costs:

1. Rent:

Consider moving to a more affordable rental property or negotiating with your landlord for a rent reduction.

2. Utilities and Groceries:

Look for ways to reduce utility bills and grocery expenses. Simple changes like energy-saving practices and buying in bulk can make a difference.

3. Discretionary Spending:

Limit discretionary spending on entertainment, dining out, and hobbies. Allocate a fixed amount for these expenses and stick to it.

Strategic Investments for Growth
With Rs 23,167 remaining each month, it's crucial to invest wisely to grow your savings. Here are some investment options:

Equity Mutual Funds
Equity mutual funds can provide higher returns over the long term. These funds invest in stocks of companies, offering potential for capital appreciation. Actively managed equity funds, guided by professional fund managers, aim to outperform the market and provide strategic growth opportunities.

Debt Mutual Funds
Debt mutual funds invest in fixed-income securities like bonds and government securities. They offer more stability and lower risk compared to equity funds. These funds can provide regular income and capital preservation, making them suitable for short to medium-term goals.

Balanced Advantage Funds
Balanced Advantage Funds (BAFs) dynamically adjust their allocation between equity and debt based on market conditions. They offer a balanced exposure to both asset classes, reducing risk and enhancing returns. BAFs are a good option for conservative investors seeking stability and growth.

Systematic Investment Plan (SIP)
A Systematic Investment Plan allows you to invest a fixed amount regularly in mutual funds. SIPs offer the benefit of Rupee Cost Averaging, reducing the impact of market volatility. Start with a small amount and gradually increase your SIP contributions as your financial situation improves.

Gold Investments
Gold is a traditional investment that acts as a hedge against inflation and economic uncertainties. While it shouldn't form a large part of your portfolio, a small allocation in gold can provide stability. Consider investing in gold ETFs or sovereign gold bonds for better liquidity and returns.

Health Insurance
Healthcare costs can be a significant burden. Ensure you have adequate health insurance coverage for yourself and your family. A comprehensive health insurance plan can help manage potential medical expenses and protect your savings.

Tax Planning
Effective tax planning can enhance your post-retirement income. Utilize tax-saving instruments under Section 80C, such as Equity Linked Savings Schemes (ELSS), Public Provident Fund (PPF), and National Savings Certificate (NSC). ELSS funds offer the dual benefit of tax savings and potential for high returns due to their equity exposure.

Reviewing Your Portfolio
Regularly reviewing your portfolio is essential to ensure it aligns with your financial goals and risk tolerance. Life events, market conditions, and changes in expenses can impact your financial situation. Periodic reviews and rebalancing of your portfolio help maintain the desired asset allocation and manage risk.

Leveraging Professional Guidance
Engaging a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) can provide invaluable insights and strategies tailored to your specific needs. A CFP can help you create a comprehensive financial plan, monitor your progress, and adjust strategies as needed. This professional guidance can be especially beneficial given the complexities of managing a retirement portfolio.

Understanding Investment Risks
All investments come with inherent risks, and it's essential to understand these before making decisions. Equity investments can be volatile in the short term but tend to provide higher returns over the long term. Debt investments offer more stability but usually yield lower returns compared to equities.

Assess your risk tolerance honestly. Given your age and the need for stability, a balanced approach that includes both equity and debt investments can provide growth potential while managing risk.

Your decision to seek guidance and plan your investments is praiseworthy. It demonstrates foresight and a strong commitment to financial well-being. By leveraging these insights and strategies, you are setting yourself on a path to achieving your financial goals.

Final Insights
Investing effectively with a retirement corpus of Rs 3 Crores requires a strategic and disciplined approach. Start by understanding your financial landscape, building an emergency fund, and choosing the right investment frequency. Goal-based investing and a diversified portfolio can help balance risk and reward.

Actively managed funds, with professional guidance from a Certified Financial Planner, offer strategic advantages over index and direct funds. Separating insurance and investment needs, effective tax planning, and automating investments can enhance your financial strategy. Regular reviews and rebalancing ensure your portfolio stays aligned with your goals.

Your proactive approach to financial planning is commendable. By implementing these strategies, you can navigate the challenges of a variable income and build a secure financial future.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6971 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 16, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 14, 2024Hindi
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Money
Hi I am 28yrs old , my monthly in-hand salary is 1lakh , currently I am paying previous personal loans after October I'm debt free , currently I am investing ELSS mutual funds monthly 5k and lic moneback policy for monthly 5k , and investing in gold monthly 6k . Suggest me how to save money which gave me bulk amount to buy a 3bhk house in metropolitan city and retirement plan.
Ans: Current Financial Situation

You are 28 years old with a monthly in-hand salary of Rs 1 lakh. You are currently paying off personal loans, which will be completed by October. Your current investments include Rs 5,000 in ELSS mutual funds, Rs 5,000 in a LIC moneyback policy, and Rs 6,000 in gold.

Post-Debt Investment Strategy

Once your loans are cleared, you will have more disposable income. This is an excellent opportunity to reallocate your funds towards achieving your goals.

Building a House Fund

Increase SIP in Mutual Funds:

Post-October, consider increasing your ELSS SIP. Additionally, diversify into other mutual funds like large-cap, mid-cap, and multi-cap funds. This will help you build a substantial corpus over time.
Liquid Funds for Short-Term Goals:

Park a portion of your savings in liquid funds. This ensures liquidity while earning better returns than a savings account.
Fixed Deposits (FDs):

Consider investing a part in FDs for a fixed return. This adds stability to your portfolio.

Retirement Planning

Diversified Mutual Funds:

Continue with your ELSS for tax benefits and long-term growth. Also, add balanced funds and debt funds to ensure a stable return.
Public Provident Fund (PPF):

Start investing in PPF for safe, long-term returns and tax benefits. It has a lock-in period but offers attractive interest rates.
National Pension System (NPS):

Invest in NPS for retirement. It offers market-linked returns and additional tax benefits under Section 80CCD(1B).

Reevaluate LIC Policy

LIC moneyback policies typically offer lower returns. Consider switching to term insurance for higher coverage at a lower premium. Redirect the savings into mutual funds for better returns.

Gold Investments

Gold is a good hedge but typically offers lower returns. Keep it as a smaller portion of your portfolio. Diversify into other assets for better growth.

Final Insights

To buy a 3BHK in a metropolitan city, you need a disciplined savings and investment approach. Increase your mutual fund SIPs post-debt, start a PPF and NPS, and reevaluate your LIC policy. Diversifying your investments will help you build a substantial corpus for both your house and retirement.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6971 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 18, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 14, 2024Hindi
Money
Hi sir I have 125000 income out of which 70000 goes for home loan I have two kids they are studying in degree and MBA and I am not able to save money how to plan for future and how to cut short expenses please advise
Ans: Planning for the future when you have a significant portion of your income allocated to a home loan and educational expenses for your children can be challenging. With a monthly income of Rs. 125,000 and Rs. 70,000 going towards your home loan, it's essential to find ways to manage your finances effectively. In this guide, I will provide a comprehensive plan to help you cut expenses, save money, and plan for a secure financial future.

Assessing Your Current Financial Situation
Income and Expenses
Your monthly income is Rs. 125,000. The home loan EMI is Rs. 70,000, which leaves you with Rs. 55,000 for other expenses. This allocation shows a heavy burden from the home loan.

Education Costs
Your children are studying in degree and MBA programs. Educational expenses can be high, including tuition fees, books, and other costs. These need careful planning.

Budgeting and Expense Management
Creating a Budget
Start with a detailed budget. List all your expenses, categorizing them into fixed (home loan EMI, education fees) and variable (groceries, utilities, entertainment). This clarity helps in identifying areas where you can cut costs.

Prioritizing Expenses
Prioritize essential expenses like education, utilities, and groceries. Identify non-essential expenses that can be reduced or eliminated. This step is crucial for effective financial management.

Tracking Spending
Track your spending to ensure adherence to the budget. Use tools like expense-tracking apps or maintain a manual record. This practice helps in monitoring and controlling expenses.

Cutting Down Expenses
Reducing Discretionary Spending
Discretionary spending includes entertainment, dining out, and luxury items. Reduce these expenses by choosing cost-effective alternatives. For example, cook at home instead of dining out.

Saving on Utilities
Implement energy-saving measures to reduce utility bills. Use energy-efficient appliances, turn off lights when not in use, and opt for energy-saving plans offered by utility providers.

Educational Expenses
Look for scholarships, grants, or educational loans with favorable terms for your children. Encourage them to seek part-time jobs or internships to support their education costs.

Debt Management
Refinancing Your Home Loan
Explore the possibility of refinancing your home loan. Refinancing at a lower interest rate can reduce your EMI, freeing up funds for savings and other expenses.

Prepaying Your Loan
If you receive any windfalls or bonuses, consider using them to prepay your home loan. This strategy reduces the principal amount and, consequently, the interest burden.

Increasing Income
Exploring Additional Income Sources
Look for additional income sources such as freelancing, part-time jobs, or consulting. Leveraging your skills and expertise can provide an extra income stream.

Passive Income Opportunities
Consider passive income opportunities like investments in mutual funds or fixed deposits. These investments can generate additional income over time.

Financial Planning for the Future
Setting Financial Goals
Set clear financial goals for the short term, medium term, and long term. Goals could include building an emergency fund, saving for your children’s higher education, and planning for retirement.

Emergency Fund
Build an emergency fund covering 6-12 months of expenses. This fund acts as a financial cushion during unforeseen circumstances like job loss or medical emergencies.

Insurance Coverage
Ensure adequate insurance coverage for health, life, and critical illness. This coverage protects your family from financial hardships in case of unexpected events.

Investment Strategy
Diversified Investment Portfolio
Create a diversified investment portfolio based on your risk tolerance and financial goals. Consider investing in mutual funds, fixed deposits, and other safe instruments.

Benefits of Actively Managed Funds
Actively managed funds are overseen by professional fund managers who actively make investment decisions to outperform the market. These funds can potentially provide higher returns compared to index funds, though they come with higher fees.

Avoiding Direct Funds
Direct funds require investors to manage their investments themselves, which can be challenging without expertise. Investing through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) ensures professional management and better financial planning.

Financial Planning for Children’s Education
Education Fund
Start an education fund dedicated to your children's higher education. Regular contributions to this fund ensure you are financially prepared for their future educational needs.

Systematic Investment Plans (SIPs)
Consider Systematic Investment Plans (SIPs) in mutual funds. SIPs allow regular, disciplined investments that can grow over time, helping you accumulate a substantial education fund.

Retirement Planning
Early Planning
Start planning for retirement early. The earlier you start, the more time your investments have to grow, ensuring a comfortable retirement.

Retirement Funds
Invest in retirement-specific funds like the Public Provident Fund (PPF) or Employees’ Provident Fund (EPF). These funds provide long-term growth with tax benefits.

Genuine Compliments and Empathy
Compliments
Your commitment to your family’s future is truly admirable. Balancing a home loan, educational expenses, and daily living costs is challenging, and your dedication is commendable.

Empathy
It's understandable to feel overwhelmed by financial pressures. Many families face similar challenges, and seeking help to improve your financial situation is a positive step.

Practical Steps for Implementation
Regular Reviews
Regularly review your financial plan and adjust it as needed. Changes in income, expenses, or financial goals should prompt a review of your budget and investment strategy.

Professional Guidance
Engage a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) to help you create and manage your financial plan. A CFP provides expert advice, ensuring your financial decisions align with your goals.

Educating Family
Educate your family about financial management. Involving them in budgeting and saving processes fosters a collective effort towards achieving financial stability.

Final Insights
Balancing income, debt, and family expenses requires careful planning and disciplined execution. By creating a detailed budget, prioritizing expenses, and exploring additional income sources, you can manage your finances more effectively. Investing in a diversified portfolio, planning for your children’s education, and securing your retirement are essential steps for a secure financial future.

Engaging a Certified Financial Planner ensures professional guidance tailored to your unique situation. Your dedication to your family’s well-being and financial security is commendable. With the right strategies and support, you can achieve your financial goals and enjoy peace of mind.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |395 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 15, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I am 50 years old and got married 15 years ago. I am a very spontaneous sort of a guy and enjoy life, partying etc. I was also very active socially.My wife being the complete opposite put a stop to all that once we got married. She also does not display any affection and has no interest in physical intimacy. She is just concerned with her housework.We also have lot of differences in mental attitude & intellectual abilities. At no stage will we ever seperate, however, I am unhappy with her nature. She has lot of friends, however is always at daggers drawn with in her in laws. We had to stay separately for 6 months, and I tried looking for love else where, however after a couple of months, I realised, that I missed her. I am in a quandary. Despite requesting her to work on our relationship, I get no response. Please advise on how to proceed.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand you are in a tough spot. But it's nice to see that after all those years of differences, you still have genuine feelings for her. I strongly suggest considering marriage counseling. From your description of your marriage, it seems to be there have been issues from the very beginning of it. It's been too long and now those issues must've become deep-rooted. Seeing a professional can be a game-changer. They can guide you out of this slump more methodically and help you navigate the emotions you are feeling right now. It can also help you understand the reasons for your wife's disinterest and handle it better.

Best Wishes

...Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |395 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 02, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hii, I have an love marriage after 9 years of dating and 6 years, 2 children post marriage, my little one is 11 months old now. My husband has an affair upto chatting to someone in his company, his junior but in different department, when my Lil one was 1 month old, we had in a rough patch then due to child birth and family drama. When I saw it and confronted him, he said he is sorry and won't do it again, we had multiple fights for 3-4 months after then due to same reason, but he mostly listen and consol. It's been a lot of mental torture for me. I love my husband a lot and he is a good person, but sometimes sill I see her msg in his phone asking for small helps or casual msg. She is also married. I am not sure my husband deletes msg or what, I am not able to get over this. Before it, this is was preety much a good relationship. I am highly educated and independent women. I don't want anything form my husband apart from love. What should I do, whenever I tell him I want to just leave and let him have his life, he won't let me somehow. We are having a good physical relationship 2-4 times a week( just to tell where we are). Please help me...I can't overcome that he is making fool of me...
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am sorry to hear you are in such a tough spot. I would suggest considering marriage counseling. A professional who can help you both tackle these issues would be helpful in this situation. I understand that it was his mistake and he needs to put the effort to make you trust him again, but since you are still together, you will also have to put in the effort to let it. I know it is difficult and that's where marriage counselor comes in. They can help you navigate these feelings. Moreover, if he is indeed hiding something, therapy can help that come out in the open.

Hope this helps.

...Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |395 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 10, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi, Me(M38) and wife(F37) happily married for 12 years and blessed with one daughter. Partner(F28)continuing friendship with a person[M] who had crush on her before marriage considered emotional infidelity? Me(M38) and wife(F37) happily married for 12 years and blessed with one daughter. My wife is having friendship (strictly platonic) with a guy from her 10tlh grade (same class). Before our marriage (she may be doing her college, our relationship just started may be 2 weeks) this guy told her he has genuine interest in her and he want to take the relationship further if she wants, she said she is not interested in a relationship and she got committed, she always saw him as a friend, no other feelings for him and we can be friends if you don't bring any romantic interest again. He never took this talk again ever after and happy to be a friend. They are talking as friends. She got married to me. He also got married. They still do chats once in a month. She introduced me to him and visited his home when we visited his city. He also came to our home once (me and my family was there). She used to update me with chat she had with him and the content they are chatting. I am ok with that When we were talking about our school life and college life 2 years before. She said this guy had crush on her during her college days. I asked her, why did not she tell me this info till now. She said it is not purposely, she does not feel the need to do as the person is not in-appropriate with her and continuing as good friend as promised after she rejected his proposal. I don’t want to create any unnecessary issues as I don’t have any felling or so with him. That time I checked their chats completely, it’s about update about their common friends, their recent travel, their job, meditation courses and the books they read recently. I haven’t seen any flirting or romantic message from either of them. So I am perfectly fine with it and had no problems. I recently came to know about the concept of emotional cheating which is very new to me. Before that cheating to me is only flirting, sexeting and physical sex. I have asked for advice in redddit.com in infedility sub forum about emotional cheating/ emotion affair. There persons are advising like even having friendship with someone who had crush on you is emotional cheating as it is indirectly leading them on you. So with an omission of lie he had crush on her and indirectly leading him on you wife was emotionally cheating on you. This is very much equal to cheating. I do have lots of friends in other gender, but no one had crush on me. Does this count as emotional cheating/affair as she did not mention he had crush on her before marriage? I am little depressed and not able to spend quality time with my wife who is in postpartum depression and take care of our daughter properly as before. Do you guys advise me how to navigate this situation?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Are you really going to ruin your happy relationship based on some new term you have learned recently? Emotional cheating and many more terms of the kind will come and go, what truly matters is the truth. She is merely friends with this guy and for your peace of mind, you have even checked their conversations- what part of it looks like cheating to you? If tomorrow, some random person projecting their own insecurities claims that a man speaking to a woman is some "new form" of cheating, would you start believing that? My point is that these are just random opinions of some people- it isn't the ultimate truth. The entire context matters. This man had a crush on your wife, she rejected it, and now they are just friends. I find absolutely no misconduct or infidelity in this. The fact that none of your friends had a crush on you does not factor in at all. Moreover, your wife is in postpartum depression- that should be your biggest concern but here you are, giving more importance to the random 2 AM thoughts of some people you don't even know. Please rethink if you are being fair to your wife- the mother of your child.

Best Wishes

...Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |395 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 26, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I (30M) am looking for Arranged Marriage Prospects. My Family has found a Prospect (27F) who seems like a Good Match, she's Well Educated, Earning Well & from the same Community. I haven't yet met her in Person, but connected with her on Social Media Platforms & interacting regularly. Recently, I scrolled through her Instagram Profile (It's a Public Profile). She seems to be a very Sociable Person, she has shared many Photos of herself, Partying/Travelling along with her Friends. My Problem is that she seems to like Wearing Clothes which are Revealing. She has shared many Photos/Videos, in which she's skimpily dressed (including some Bikini Photos at Beach/Swimming Pool). She also has a Pierced Navel Ring & Tattoos on some Private Parts like Chest, Hips, Thighs & Lower Back, which she flaunts proudly on Social Media. Though, I am not Judging her Character, based on her Choice of Clothing, but seeing all these made me a little Uncomfortable, as I am a very Modest & Simple Person myself. I have not discussed this issue with my Parents, as they have a very good opinion about her (which I don't want to Ruin). But I've discussed with some of my closest Friends (of both Genders) & some of them have Chided me for being so Judgemental. They suggested me to meet her atleast once in person, to understand what's her Character/Personality like. Shall I give it a try or Reject her Politely at this stage itself, without wasting any more Time (either her or mine)? Or am I being too Superficial to Judge a Woman, just based on her Social Media Profile, without even meeting her once, personally (This is what some of my closest Female Friends opined)? Please suggest me how to proceed with this Prospect in Arranged Marriage.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I know it might come off as you being judgmental of her choice of dressing, but you have a right to form an opinion in your mind, especially since in your case, you might be marrying the person. As long as you are not making up your mind about her based on her dressing, forcing her to dress the way she wants, or thrusting your opinion on her, it's alright. It's human nature to be a bit jerked by the choices others make that we won't make ourselves. Having said that, I believe meeting her once in person can be good for you; you might have a new perspective- both about her and on life. But no one can force you to do either. My suggestion is that do what you think is right- if you are sure you will reject this alliance based on her choice of clothes, even if she is the nicest person on the face of the earth, meeting up might be a waste of time. But if you think you are open to changing your mind, go for it.

I would also like for you to remember one important point if things work out between the two of you- do not try to push your opinions on dressing and change the way she is after getting married. That would not be fair. In case, you start hoping that she will change and fit YOUR mold of the perfect woman, I would strongly suggest keeping that thought in check.

Best Wishes.

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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