Home > Money > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10870 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 04, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jan 14, 2024Hindi
Listen
Money

Hello sir, pl ignore our previous question. Sorry. Pl advise on below i am 45 yrs old & want to take parag parikh flexi cap for long terms (approx 15-20yrs). Shall i take mutual fund or SIP for the same. I want to invest either 1.00 lacs lumsum amount in MF or ?5000 p.m. in SIP. Which option shall i chose. Pl advise Also i invested in the following 1) MF: amount ?50000 in aditya birla sunlife equity hybrid 95 fund growth & HDFC flexicap fund growth (for long term) 2) Mf: lumsum amount ?100000 in nippon India large cap fund growth 3) SIP: HDFC retirement saving fund equity plan-regular plan- growth @ ?10000/-p.m. & aditya birla sun life digital india fund-growth-regular plan Also advise on above mf/sip whether is it good for long term

Ans: Given your investment horizon of 15-20 years and your preference for Parag Parikh Flexi Cap Fund, here's my advice:

Investment Method:
For a long-term horizon like yours, both lump sum investment and SIP have their advantages.
Lump sum investment entails putting in a larger amount upfront, potentially benefiting from market growth over time.
SIP, on the other hand, allows you to invest regularly, benefit from rupee cost averaging, and mitigate the impact of market volatility.
Choice between Lump Sum and SIP:
Considering the current market conditions and the potential for volatility, SIP can be a prudent choice.
By spreading your investments over time, SIPs can help smoothen the impact of market fluctuations and reduce timing risk.
You can start with an SIP of Rs. 5,000 per month in Parag Parikh Flexi Cap Fund and increase the amount gradually over time, leveraging the power of compounding.
Regarding your existing investments:

Aditya Birla Sunlife Equity Hybrid 95 Fund Growth and HDFC Flexicap Fund Growth:
These funds have the potential to provide balanced growth by investing in a mix of equity and debt instruments.
Given your long-term horizon, they can be suitable choices for wealth accumulation.
Nippon India Large Cap Fund Growth:
Large-cap funds like these tend to offer stability and steady growth potential over the long term.
It can serve as a core holding in your portfolio, providing exposure to established companies with strong fundamentals.
HDFC Retirement Saving Fund Equity Plan-Regular Plan-Growth and Aditya Birla Sun Life Digital India Fund-Growth-Regular Plan:
These funds cater to specific themes (retirement saving and digital India), which can add diversification to your portfolio.
Given your long-term horizon, they can complement your existing investments, provided you have a high-risk tolerance and believe in the long-term growth potential of these sectors.
Remember to regularly review your portfolio's performance and make adjustments as needed based on changes in your financial goals, risk tolerance, and market conditions. Consulting with a Certified Financial Planner can provide personalized guidance tailored to your individual needs and objectives.
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
Money

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10870 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 18, 2024

Listen
Money
I am currently investing in mf via sip from last 4 months looking for long term investment atleast 10-15 years. As of now I am investing in Nippon small cap, hdfc mid cap, Parag parikh flexi cap 2500 each. To bring more diversity in my portfolio I am planning to include 1 multi cap fund, 1 hybrid fund and may be 1 more flexi cap fund with bit aggressive inv approach. I have 2 questions for you: 1. Do you think this portfolio is good enough for long term. 2. Suggest if you can which one I can go for : i. Multicap - quant active fund ii. Hybrid - Icici multi asset/ Icici equity & debt/ hdfc balance advantage iii. Flexi cap - Quant/ JM Flexi cap
Ans: It's great to see your proactive approach towards diversifying your investment portfolio for long-term growth. Let's address your questions and explore suitable options to enhance your investment strategy.

Evaluating Your Current Portfolio
Compliment:
Your decision to invest in mutual funds via SIPs reflects a disciplined approach to wealth creation, setting a strong foundation for long-term financial growth.

Analysis:
Your current portfolio, comprising investments in Nippon Small Cap, HDFC Mid Cap, and Parag Parikh Flexi Cap funds, demonstrates a balanced mix of small-cap, mid-cap, and flexi-cap funds.
Diversification across different market segments can help mitigate risks associated with specific sectors or market capitalizations, promoting long-term stability and growth.
Addressing Your Queries
Assessing Portfolio Suitability:
Long-Term Viability:
Your portfolio's focus on mid-cap and small-cap funds, along with a flexi-cap fund, positions it well for long-term growth. However, it's crucial to periodically review and rebalance your portfolio to align with your evolving financial goals and risk tolerance.
Suggesting Additional Funds:
Multi-Cap Fund:

Considering your preference for a bit aggressive investment approach, a multi-cap fund can offer the flexibility to capitalize on opportunities across market capitalizations. You may consider options like Quant Active Fund, known for its active management and diversified investment strategy.
Hybrid Fund:

Hybrid funds blend equity and debt components, offering a balanced approach to wealth creation. Options such as ICICI Multi Asset or HDFC Balance Advantage provide exposure to both asset classes, optimizing risk-adjusted returns.
Flexi-Cap Fund:

For added flexibility and potential returns, a flexi-cap fund like Quant Flexi Cap or JM Flexi Cap can complement your existing portfolio. These funds invest across market segments, allowing fund managers to capitalize on emerging opportunities.
Conclusion
Your current portfolio lays a solid foundation for long-term wealth creation, with a well-diversified mix of small-cap, mid-cap, and flexi-cap funds. By incorporating a multi-cap fund, a hybrid fund, and an additional flexi-cap fund, you can further enhance diversification and potentially maximize returns while aligning with your risk appetite and investment objectives.

Remember to regularly review your portfolio's performance and consult with a Certified Financial Planner to ensure it remains aligned with your long-term financial goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10870 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 15, 2024

Money
My name is Shankar. I' m investing 10,000 Per Month thru SIP. One is in Motilal Oswal Midcap 30 Fund for 5000. Second one is in SBI Countra Find for 5000 each month in phone pe I had invested. It's been two month I had started. First my concern is here can I go for these two funds for longer period like 10 years, I need suggestion for that. Second one is how much return can I expect for 10 years. I am planning to start one more mutual fund for mid cap for 5000 I need to know which fund is best for long run.
Ans: Dear Shankar,

Firstly, congratulations on taking a significant step towards your financial goals by starting your investments. It is heartening to see individuals like you take proactive steps towards securing their future.

You mentioned investing Rs 5,000 per month in the Motilal Oswal Midcap 30 Fund and another Rs 5,000 in the SBI Contra Fund. Both funds have their merits, but let's delve deeper to assess if they align with your long-term goals.

Evaluating Your Current Funds
Motilal Oswal Midcap 30 Fund

This fund focuses on mid-sized companies with potential for growth. Mid-cap funds can be quite rewarding, especially in a growing economy like India. However, they also carry higher risk compared to large-cap funds. It's commendable that you are willing to take on some risk for potentially higher returns.

SBI Contra Fund

This fund follows a contrarian strategy, investing in undervalued stocks. This approach can be beneficial during market corrections and downturns, as these stocks may bounce back strongly. It provides a good balance to your portfolio by diversifying your investment style.

Long-Term Viability
For a ten-year investment horizon, these funds could be suitable, provided you are prepared for the market's ups and downs. Long-term investments in equity mutual funds generally yield better returns, as they smooth out short-term volatility. Staying invested for ten years can help you benefit from compounding and market growth.

Expected Returns
Estimating returns can be tricky as they depend on various factors, including market conditions, economic growth, and fund management. Historically, mid-cap funds have delivered 12-15% annual returns over the long term. Contrarian funds, while less predictable, can also yield substantial returns if their strategy pays off.

However, it is crucial to remember that past performance does not guarantee future results. Keeping realistic expectations and staying invested through market cycles is key.

Adding a New Mid-Cap Fund
Your interest in starting another Rs 5,000 monthly SIP in a mid-cap fund is a wise decision, given your long-term horizon. Mid-cap funds can be an excellent addition to your portfolio, offering potential for higher growth.

Benefits of Actively Managed Funds
Since you are considering mid-cap funds, it is essential to highlight the benefits of actively managed funds over index funds. Actively managed funds can adapt to market conditions and invest in promising companies, whereas index funds simply replicate a market index. This flexibility can lead to better performance, especially in the mid-cap segment where stock selection is crucial.

Recommendations for Mid-Cap Funds
Selecting the right fund requires thorough research. Here are some factors to consider when choosing a mid-cap fund:

Fund Performance: Look at the fund’s performance over different market cycles.
Fund Manager’s Track Record: An experienced and skilled fund manager can make a significant difference.
Expense Ratio: Lower expense ratios can improve net returns.
Fund House Reputation: Choose funds from well-established and reputable fund houses.
Considering these factors will help you make an informed decision. Consulting a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) can also provide personalized advice based on your risk tolerance and financial goals.

General Investment Tips
Diversification
Diversification is crucial to manage risk. Your current investments in mid-cap and contrarian funds provide a good mix. However, you might want to consider adding large-cap or multi-cap funds in the future for better balance.

Regular Review
Periodic review of your investments is essential. Market conditions and personal financial goals can change, requiring adjustments to your investment strategy.

Staying Informed
Keep yourself informed about market trends and economic indicators. This knowledge can help you make better investment decisions.

Emotional Discipline
It’s easy to get swayed by market volatility. Maintaining emotional discipline and staying invested during market downturns is vital for long-term success.

Potential Pitfalls of Direct Funds
Direct funds might seem attractive due to lower expense ratios, but they have some disadvantages. Direct funds require continuous monitoring and management, which can be time-consuming and challenging. Investing through a CFP can provide professional management, regular reviews, and tailored advice, ensuring your investments align with your goals.

Final Insights
Your current investment strategy is promising, with a good mix of mid-cap and contrarian funds. These funds have the potential to deliver substantial returns over a ten-year period, provided you stay invested and maintain discipline.

Starting another mid-cap fund is a prudent decision, given your long-term horizon. Carefully selecting an actively managed mid-cap fund can further enhance your portfolio's growth potential.

Remember to diversify, review your investments regularly, and consult a Certified Financial Planner for personalized advice. Your commitment to investing Rs 10,000 monthly through SIPs is commendable, and with the right strategy, you can achieve your financial goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10870 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 25, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 25, 2024Hindi
Money
Hi Nikunjji, i am 45 years old & taken the following Mutual fund SIP for long term (approx 15-20 yrs) 1) Aditya birla sunlife india Gen next fund growth @ Rs. 3000/- per month 2) HDFC retirement saving fund equity plan growth plan growth option - Rs.10000/- per month 3) Aditya birla sunlife digital india fund- growth plan - Rs. 5000/- per month 4) Nippon india large cap fund - growth plan - Rs100000 lumsum 5) Parag parikh flexi cap fund-growth - Rs. 100000 lumsum 6) HDFC flexi cap fund growth option - Rs. 50000 lumsum 7) Aditya birla sunlife equity hybrid 95 fund growth - Rs. 50000 lumsum Request you to please review my above plan & advise taking into consideration the long term planning
Ans: Your portfolio reflects a disciplined approach to long-term wealth creation. Investing with a horizon of 15-20 years is an excellent strategy. Below is a detailed assessment and suggestions for optimisation.

Strengths of Your Portfolio
Diversification Across Asset Classes
Your portfolio includes equity-focused funds and hybrid funds. This diversification reduces risks.

Allocation to Flexi-Cap Funds
Including flexi-cap funds provides balanced exposure to large, mid, and small-cap companies.

Focus on Growth
Growth options in your funds allow compounding over the long term.

Systematic Investments
SIPs ensure disciplined investing and rupee-cost averaging.

Lump Sum Investments
Lump sum investments supplement SIPs by capturing market opportunities.

Areas for Improvement
1. Portfolio Overlap

Multiple funds in your portfolio might overlap in underlying investments.
For instance, flexi-cap and large-cap funds may invest in similar stocks.
Overlap reduces diversification benefits.
Recommendation

Evaluate fund portfolios with a Certified Financial Planner to identify overlap.
Retain funds with distinct investment strategies.
2. Sectoral Funds Risk

Sectoral funds focus on specific industries like technology or consumption.
These funds are highly volatile and carry higher risk.
Recommendation

Limit sectoral fund exposure to 10% of your portfolio.
Instead, focus on diversified funds for consistent growth.
3. Hybrid Fund Allocation

Hybrid funds mix equity and debt, offering balanced risk and returns.
However, they might underperform pure equity funds in long bull markets.
Recommendation

Reassess hybrid fund allocation based on your risk tolerance.
Consider increasing equity fund allocation for long-term goals.
4. Tax Efficiency

Equity mutual funds have specific tax implications under new rules:
LTCG above Rs. 1.25 lakh is taxed at 12.5%.
STCG is taxed at 20%.
Recommendation

Plan withdrawals to optimise tax liabilities.
Avoid frequent withdrawals to maximise compounding.
Suggestions for Portfolio Optimisation
1. Consolidate Mutual Funds

Retain 4-5 funds across different categories: large-cap, mid-cap, and flexi-cap.
This reduces complexity and improves portfolio tracking.
2. Increase SIP Contributions

SIPs offer the advantage of disciplined investing and rupee-cost averaging.
Increase your SIPs gradually to enhance long-term corpus.
3. Focus on Actively Managed Funds

Actively managed funds outperform index funds in emerging markets like India.
They adapt to market conditions and deliver superior returns.
4. Review Fund Performance Annually

Monitor fund performance against benchmarks and peers.
Replace consistently underperforming funds after consulting a Certified Financial Planner.
5. Maintain an Emergency Fund

Keep 6-12 months’ expenses in a liquid fund or FD.
This ensures liquidity for unforeseen needs.
Retirement Planning Considerations
1. Corpus Target of Rs. 8 Crores

Achieving Rs. 8 crore requires consistent investments and strategic planning.
SIPs and lump sums in equity mutual funds are ideal for wealth creation.
2. Inflation Adjustment

Plan your retirement corpus keeping inflation at 6-7% annually in mind.
Ensure your investment strategy beats inflation over the long term.
3. Health Coverage

Health costs rise significantly in retirement.
Review your health insurance coverage to ensure sufficient protection.
4. Withdrawal Strategy

Adopt a systematic withdrawal plan (SWP) in retirement.
This ensures steady income while preserving your corpus.
Additional Considerations
1. Avoid Emotional Decisions

Market volatility is normal in long-term investments.
Stick to your plan and avoid reacting to short-term fluctuations.
2. Revisit Goals Periodically

Review your financial goals every 2-3 years.
Adjust your portfolio if your financial situation or goals change.
3. Stay Informed

Understand the funds you invest in.
Consult a Certified Financial Planner for insights and guidance.
4. Avoid Direct Funds

Direct funds may seem cost-effective but lack expert advice.
Investing through a Certified Financial Planner ensures informed decisions.
Final Insights
Your portfolio is well-structured for long-term wealth creation.

Consolidate funds to reduce overlap and complexity.

Focus on actively managed funds for superior returns.

Limit sectoral exposure to balance risk and reward.

Maintain discipline in SIPs and stay invested for the long term.

With these strategies, you can achieve your financial goals effectively.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10870 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 16, 2025

Money
Hi sir I'm 30 years old and started my sip 10 months ago 1.5 lakhs invested till the date . Want to invest for 15 years Below are details Quant small cap 2.5 k per month Nippon India small cap 5k Motilal Oswal mid cap 5k Parag Parikh flexi cap 3k ICICI prudential nifty 50 index fund etf Rs 200/- 1. Currently investing Rs15700/- want to invest 20k suggest which Current MF to invest more amount or any changes need to be done. 2. Should I invest 5 lakhs in lump sum or in sip which is better
Ans: You have made a great start at the age of 30. Investing early builds strong financial foundation. You are investing Rs. 15,700 per month, which is a healthy amount. You are also planning to increase it to Rs. 20,000 monthly. That’s a smart move. You also have Rs. 5 lakhs for lump sum investing. Now let’s evaluate your mutual fund choices, portfolio structure, and ideal action plan.

Age, Time Horizon and Investment Profile
Age: 30 years

Investment horizon: 15 years

Monthly SIP: Rs. 15,700 currently

Planning to increase to: Rs. 20,000

Lump sum available: Rs. 5 lakhs

Your strengths:

Long time horizon gives high compounding benefit

SIP is already running in good amount

You are open to increasing your investment

You are thinking long term. That’s the right mindset

Let’s analyse your mutual funds in a structured way.

Analysing Your Existing SIP Portfolio
1. Small Cap Exposure
Two small cap funds: Rs. 7,500 per month

These are high-risk, high-return funds

You are investing 48% of SIP into small cap category

That is a high concentration for a young portfolio

Small caps can be very volatile

Better to reduce exposure a little

2. Mid Cap Exposure
One mid cap fund: Rs. 5,000 per month

Mid cap funds are ideal for long-term investors

They balance growth and stability

32% allocation to mid caps is fine

3. Flexi Cap Exposure
One flexi cap fund: Rs. 3,000 per month

Flexi cap funds give fund manager freedom to move between cap sizes

These are good for diversification and dynamic allocation

You can increase allocation here

4. Index Fund (ETF)
Monthly investment: Rs. 200 only

You mentioned it as Nifty 50 ETF

This is an index fund

Index funds have no flexibility

They can’t protect in falling markets

They follow the index blindly

Active funds have proven to beat index consistently over time

Avoid index funds in wealth creation journey

You may exit this and reallocate to active funds

Suggested Portfolio Changes
You aim to invest Rs. 20,000 per month going forward. Let’s realign your portfolio with a strong mix.

Suggested fund category allocation:

Small Cap Funds: 25% of SIP

Mid Cap Funds: 30% of SIP

Flexi Cap Funds: 25% of SIP

Large & Mid Cap Funds: 20% of SIP

New monthly SIP allocation suggestion (Rs. 20,000 total):

Small Cap: Rs. 5,000

Mid Cap: Rs. 6,000

Flexi Cap: Rs. 5,000

Large & Mid Cap: Rs. 4,000

Key actions to take:

Reduce SIP in one small cap fund by Rs. 2,500

Continue with one small cap only. Pick the more consistent one

Increase allocation in Flexi Cap fund

Introduce one Large & Mid Cap fund to diversify

Exit the index ETF fund completely

It adds little value and lacks protection in correction

Should You Invest Rs. 5 Lakhs as Lump Sum or SIP?
This is a very important question. Your decision must consider market timing risk.

Risks in lump sum investing:

If market falls just after lump sum, portfolio value drops

Emotionally it becomes hard to continue

Market may not recover quickly

You may exit at wrong time if not mentally prepared

SIP offers smoother entry:

Rupee cost averaging works well in SIP

Emotional comfort is higher

Volatility is absorbed better

You avoid regret of wrong timing

Best way to invest Rs. 5 lakhs:

Do not invest all in one go

Spread it over next 6 to 9 months

Do STP (Systematic Transfer Plan) from liquid fund to equity funds

This gives safety and gradual market exposure

Choose funds where you are continuing SIP for long term

Avoid lump sum in small cap or sector funds

Suggested STP action:

Put Rs. 5 lakhs in a low-risk liquid fund

Transfer Rs. 55,000 to Rs. 80,000 per month into chosen equity funds

Use the same four fund categories for STP

Asset Allocation View for 360-Degree Planning
You are young. You can afford high equity exposure. But that doesn't mean 100% small caps.

Suggested equity exposure:

Total equity exposure: 90%

Liquid/emergency: 10%

You can take this exposure for next 10 years

Ideal allocation among equity styles:

Large cap and large & mid cap: 30%

Mid cap: 30%

Small cap: 20–25%

Flexi cap and multi cap: 15–20%

This structure gives better balance. It protects from high volatility and improves long-term returns.

Regular Funds vs Direct Funds
You didn’t mention if you are using direct plans. If yes, then please note these:

Disadvantages of Direct Funds:

You get no guidance during market volatility

You may stop SIP at wrong time

No proper rebalancing or strategy check

Emotionally hard to manage alone

Many direct investors make mistakes in fund choice and exit timing

Benefits of Regular Funds through Certified Financial Planner:

Ongoing tracking and review of your portfolio

Behavioural coaching during market fall

Proper rebalancing and performance audit

Long-term handholding for goal-based planning

Worth more than the small trail cost involved

For long-term wealth creation, professional support is very useful.

Additional Suggestions for Long-Term Success
Emergency Fund Planning:

Keep 6 months expenses in a liquid fund

Never invest this portion in equity

Insurance:

Take pure term insurance if not yet done

Health insurance for self and family is also must

Periodic Review:

Review your SIP funds every 12 months

Do not change funds based on short-term return

Stick to the goal and asset allocation

Avoid These Mistakes:

Do not invest in traditional LIC plans, endowment or ULIP

Avoid high exposure to sector or thematic funds

Don’t go for trending new funds or NFOs

Avoid real estate for now. Liquidity is poor and returns are slow

Do not invest in index funds unless portfolio is very large

Taxation Point to Note:

Equity mutual funds: LTCG above Rs. 1.25 lakhs taxed at 12.5%

STCG taxed at 20%

Debt fund returns taxed as per your income slab

Plan redemptions carefully to reduce tax impact

Finally
You have a great start at 30.

Keep investing consistently for 15 years

Reduce small cap exposure a little

Remove index fund ETF from your SIP

Use STP for Rs. 5 lakhs investment

Add one large & mid cap fund to portfolio

Review regularly with a Certified Financial Planner

You are on the right path. With a few changes and disciplined investing, you will build long-term wealth.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

Latest Questions
Dr Dipankar

Dr Dipankar Dutta  |1837 Answers  |Ask -

Tech Careers and Skill Development Expert - Answered on Dec 05, 2025

Career
Dear Sir, I did my BTech from a normal engineering college not very famous. The teaching was not great and hence i did not study well. I tried my best to learn coding including all the technologies like html,css,javascript,react js,dba,php because i wanted to be a web developer But nothing seem to enter my head except html and css. I don't understand a language which has more complexities. Is it because of my lack of experience or not devoting enough time. I am not sure. I did many courses online and tried to do diplomas also abroad which i passed somehow. I recently joined android development course because i like apps but the teaching was so fast that i could not memorize anything. There was no time to even take notes down. During the course i did assignments and understood the code because i have to pass but after the course is over i tend to forget everything. I attempted a lot of interviews. Some of them i even got but could not perform well so they let me go. Now due to the AI booming and job markets in a bad shape i am re-thinking whether to keep studying or whether its just time waste. Since 3 years i am doing labour type of jobs which does not yield anything to me for survival and to pay my expenses. I have the quest to learn everything but as soon as i sit in front of the computer i listen to music or read something else. What should i do to stay more focused? What should i do to make myself believe confident. Is there still scope of IT in todays world? Kindly advise.
Ans: Your story does not show failure.
It shows persistence, effort, and desire to improve.

Most people give up.
You didn’t.
That means you will succeed — but with the right method, not the old one.

...Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |676 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Dec 04, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 02, 2025Hindi
Relationship
My married ex still texts me for comfort. Because of him, I am unable to move on. He makes me feel guilty by saying he got married out of family pressure. His dad is a cardiac patient and mom is being treated for cancer. He comforts me by saying he will get separated soon and we will get married because he only loves me. We have been in a relationship for 14 years and despite everything we tried, his parents refused to accept me, so he chose to get married to someone who understands our situation. I don't know when he will separate from his wife. She knows about us too but she comes from a traditional family. She also confirmed there is no physical intimacy between them. I trust him, but is it worth losing my youth for him? Honestly, I am worried and very confused.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand how difficult it is to let go of a relationship you have built from scratch, but is it really how you want to continue? It really seems to be going nowhere. His parents are already in bad health and he married someone else for their happiness. Does it seem like he will be able to leave her? So many people’s happiness and lives depend on this one decision. I think it’s about time you and your BF have a clear conversation about the same. If he can’t give a proper timeline, please try to understand his situation. But also make sure he understands yours and maybe rethink this equation. It really isn’t healthy. You deserve a love you can have wholly, and not just in pieces, and in the shadows.

Hope this helps

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x