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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7408 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 11, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Asked by Anonymous - May 27, 2024Hindi
Money

Hello sir, namste. Sir, I'm a contractual delivery person working in Bangalore. I have a net debt of around 7.5 lakh rupees which is accumulated by credit cards ~ 3.6 lakh (facing 4.5% interest and other charges monthly), personal loans - 2.9 lakh and ~ 1 lakh from relatives. I feel totally devasted Sir and many times I feel miserable. I have only studied till 10th class and so not a many job roles are available the market. In Zomato , I can hardly save around 20k-25k/ month after cutting all the expenses. Can you please show me a way ahead to clear my Debts ASAP. I want to live a life sir. And should I go with credit card settlement? The charges are so huge that around 12k is increasing each month just from charges. Should I first clear my credit card outstanding and then move towards other loans? And what should I do further sir, what skills can I learn that will serve the market needs in the future? I want to own a car and a house till 30 and have a sustainable business of mines. Please show me the way sir. I really need some expert advice on this. My image has all got dumped accross my family and friends. I didn't used to be like this before. To be Frank with you, I have done mistakes sir, I spent most of the money on drugs ..but now I want and need to change. I have already put a stop. Now I want to erase and write beautifully again. I hope you treat me like your brother

Ans: It's very courageous of you to reach out and share your situation. Acknowledging your past mistakes and showing a willingness to change is the first and most significant step toward a brighter future. Let's explore a practical and comprehensive plan to help you clear your debts and improve your financial situation.

Understanding Your Current Financial Situation
Total Debt: Rs 7.5 lakh

Credit Cards: Rs 3.6 lakh (4.5% monthly interest and other charges)
Personal Loans: Rs 2.9 lakh
Loan from Relatives: Rs 1 lakh
Monthly Savings: Rs 20,000 - Rs 25,000

Immediate Steps to Address Debt
Prioritizing Debts
High-Interest Debt First: Credit card debt should be your top priority due to its high-interest rate. The monthly interest of 4.5% can quickly accumulate, making it crucial to pay this off first.

Personal Loans and Relatives: After addressing credit card debt, focus on personal loans and the amount owed to relatives.

Credit Card Settlement
Contact Your Credit Card Companies: Explain your situation and request a lower interest rate or a settlement plan. Many companies are willing to negotiate if they see you are making a genuine effort to pay off your debt.

Avoid Settlement as a First Option: Settling credit card debt can affect your credit score negatively. It should be considered if negotiations for lower interest rates or payment plans fail.

Creating a Debt Repayment Plan
Step 1: Assess Monthly Expenses
List all essential expenses (rent, food, utilities, etc.).
Identify non-essential expenses and reduce or eliminate them.
Step 2: Allocate Savings to Debt Repayment
Dedicate as much of your monthly savings (Rs 20,000 - Rs 25,000) as possible to paying off your credit card debt.
Use the avalanche method: pay off debts with the highest interest rate first while making minimum payments on other debts.
Step 3: Extra Income
Consider taking on additional delivery shifts or part-time work to increase your income.
Look for freelance or gig opportunities that can be done in your spare time.
Developing Skills for Future Opportunities
Step 1: Identify Marketable Skills
Digital Skills: Basic computer skills, digital marketing, data entry, or social media management are in demand and can be learned online.
Technical Skills: Courses in web development, coding, or app development can open up job opportunities. Platforms like Coursera, Udemy, and Khan Academy offer affordable courses.
Language Skills: Improving English or learning a new language can enhance job prospects.
Step 2: Affordable Learning Resources
Online Courses: Use free or low-cost online courses to build new skills. Websites like Coursera, Udemy, and edX offer courses in various fields.
Local Community Centers: Check for workshops or courses offered by community centers or NGOs in Bangalore.
Step 3: Practical Experience
Internships: Look for internships or volunteer opportunities to gain practical experience.
Networking: Connect with professionals in your desired field through social media platforms like LinkedIn.
Long-Term Financial Goals
Goal 1: Owning a Car
Saving Plan: After clearing your debts, start a savings plan specifically for purchasing a car. Set aside a fixed amount each month.
Consider Pre-Owned: Initially, consider buying a pre-owned car to reduce costs.
Goal 2: Owning a House
Saving and Investing: Start saving for a down payment. Consider mutual funds for long-term growth once you have an emergency fund in place.
Government Schemes: Explore government schemes for first-time homebuyers, which can offer subsidies or lower interest rates.
Goal 3: Starting a Business
Business Plan: Develop a detailed business plan for your mining business. Research the market, competition, and legal requirements.
Small Start: Consider starting small and expanding as you gain experience and financial stability.
Funding: Look for government grants, small business loans, or investors willing to support your business idea.
Additional Tips for Financial Stability
Emergency Fund
Establish an Emergency Fund: Save at least 3-6 months' worth of living expenses in a separate account for emergencies.
Budgeting
Create a Budget: Track your income and expenses to identify areas where you can save more.
Stick to the Budget: Consistently adhere to your budget to avoid unnecessary spending.
Financial Discipline
Avoid High-Interest Debt: After clearing your debts, avoid using credit cards or taking loans unless absolutely necessary.
Regular Review: Regularly review your financial situation and adjust your budget and goals as needed.
Final Insights
Clearing your debts and achieving financial stability is a challenging but achievable goal. Prioritize paying off high-interest debt, such as credit cards, first. Consider negotiating with credit card companies for better terms. Allocate as much of your monthly savings as possible towards debt repayment and look for additional income opportunities.

Invest in learning new skills that are in demand in the market. Utilize online resources and practical experiences to enhance your employability. Set realistic long-term goals like owning a car, a house, and starting a business, and develop a step-by-step plan to achieve them.

Your determination to change and improve your life is admirable. Stay focused, disciplined, and proactive in managing your finances. With consistent effort and careful planning, you can overcome your current challenges and build a secure and prosperous future.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Sir my monthly salary is 28000 and I took a personal loan of 5lacs last year and I have credit card also but with my daily expenses I couldn't pay the total emis and bills so I took some credit from cred application it's almost 3lacs and now I'm unable to pay any of them as my salary is very low to pay so many emis I can't stop thinking about all this I'm facing anxiety and depression due to debts. I want to come out of this debt and get clean from all this problem. I want to save money and live a normal life. I couldn't share it with anyone also. My father us retired and he couldn't help me.
Ans: I'm truly sorry to hear about the challenges you're facing with your debts, and I understand how overwhelming and stressful it can be. Please know that you're not alone, and there are steps you can take to work towards financial stability and peace of mind.

Assess Your Debts: Start by listing out all your debts, including personal loans, credit card dues, and any other outstanding amounts. Understanding the total amount owed and the interest rates associated with each debt is the first step towards managing them effectively.
Create a Budget: Evaluate your monthly income and expenses to create a realistic budget. Prioritize essential expenses such as food, rent, and utilities, and allocate any remaining funds towards debt repayment.
Communicate with Creditors: Reach out to your creditors to discuss your financial situation and explore options for repayment. They may be willing to negotiate a payment plan or offer assistance programs to help you manage your debts.
Explore Debt Consolidation: Consider consolidating your debts into a single loan with a lower interest rate, if possible. This can simplify your repayment process and potentially reduce the overall amount you owe.
Seek Professional Help: If you're feeling overwhelmed or unsure about how to proceed, consider seeking assistance from a financial counselor or debt management agency. They can provide guidance, support, and practical strategies for managing your debts and improving your financial situation.
Take Care of Your Mental Health: Remember to prioritize your mental health during this challenging time. Practice self-care techniques such as exercise, meditation, or talking to a trusted friend or therapist to help alleviate anxiety and depression associated with financial stress.
Lastly, please know that it's okay to ask for help, and reaching out for support is a positive step towards regaining control of your finances and your life. You have the strength and resilience to overcome these challenges, and with determination and perseverance, you can work towards a brighter financial future.

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Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7408 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Aug 22, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 15, 2024Hindi
Money
Sir my monthly salary is 20625 and I took a personal loan of 300000 lacs multiple loan app last 2 year and I have credit card also but with my daily expenses I couldn't pay the total emis and bills so I took some credit from cred application it's almost 100000 lacs and now I'm unable to pay any of them as my salary is very low to pay so many emis I can't stop thinking about all this I'm facing anxiety and depression due to debts. I want to come out of this debt and get clean from all this problem. I want to save money and live a normal life. I couldn't share it with anyone also. My father us retired and he couldn't help me.
Ans: You’re facing a tough financial challenge, and it’s understandable. Managing multiple loans and credit card debts on a low salary is stressful. You’ve taken a loan of Rs. 3,00,000 and additional credit of Rs. 1,00,000, leading to overwhelming EMIs. Your daily expenses make it hard to manage these debts, causing anxiety and depression. Let's explore a plan to get you out of this situation and towards financial stability.

Prioritising Mental Health
First and foremost, your mental health is crucial. Financial stress can take a heavy toll. Please know that you’re not alone, and it’s okay to seek help. Talking to a trusted friend, family member, or professional can ease the burden. Remember, mental well-being is as important as financial stability.

Assessing Your Debts
Let’s break down your debts:

Personal Loans: Rs. 3,00,000
Credit Card Debt: Rs. 1,00,000
Your total debt stands at Rs. 4,00,000. Given your monthly salary of Rs. 20,625, this debt load is unsustainable. The first step is to understand the exact EMIs and interest rates associated with each loan and credit card.

Creating a Debt Repayment Plan
1. List All Debts

Write down all your debts with their respective EMIs, interest rates, and remaining balances. This helps you see the full picture.

2. Prioritise High-Interest Debts

Focus on paying off high-interest debts first, usually credit cards. These debts grow faster due to high interest, making them harder to repay if not tackled early.

3. Debt Consolidation

If possible, consolidate your loans. This means combining all your loans into one with a lower interest rate. It simplifies repayment and reduces the overall interest burden. Contact your bank for options. They may offer a consolidation loan.

4. Negotiate with Creditors

Approach your creditors and explain your situation. Sometimes, they can offer reduced EMIs, lower interest rates, or extend the loan tenure. This can ease your monthly payment burden.

5. Avoid Taking More Loans

It’s crucial to stop borrowing more money. Avoid any more personal loans or credit. Taking more loans will only worsen your financial situation.

6. Automate Payments

Set up automatic payments for your EMIs. This ensures that you don’t miss payments and incur late fees, which add to your debt.

Cutting Down Expenses
1. Create a Budget

List your essential expenses—rent, groceries, utilities—and allocate your salary accordingly. See where you can cut down unnecessary spending.

2. Reduce Discretionary Spending

Limit spending on non-essentials like dining out, entertainment, and shopping. Redirect this money towards paying off your debt.

3. Focus on Essentials

Stick to spending on essentials only. Avoid any luxury purchases until your financial situation improves.

Exploring Additional Income Sources
1. Part-Time Work

Consider taking up part-time or freelance work. Even a few extra hours a week can significantly increase your income, helping you pay off debts faster.

2. Sell Unnecessary Assets

If you have items at home that you no longer need—gadgets, furniture, etc.—consider selling them. The extra money can be used to pay off debts.

3. Rent Out Space

If you have extra space in your home, consider renting it out. This could bring in additional income to help with debt repayment.

Building an Emergency Fund
Even while paying off debts, it’s essential to build a small emergency fund. Start with a goal of Rs. 5,000. This fund is for unexpected expenses, so you don’t need to rely on credit cards or loans in emergencies.

Planning for the Future
1. Start Small Savings

Once you’ve stabilised your debt situation, start saving a small portion of your income. Even Rs. 500 a month can make a difference over time.

2. Invest Wisely

When you’re ready, consider investing in mutual funds through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP). Start with small SIPs. These offer better returns than traditional savings methods like FDs.

3. Focus on Long-Term Goals

Think about your long-term financial goals—buying a house, retirement, etc. Start planning for these once your debts are under control.

Final Insights
You’ve acknowledged your financial difficulties, which is the first step toward solving them. With a structured plan and disciplined approach, you can overcome this challenge. Focus on repaying high-interest debts first, reduce unnecessary expenses, and explore additional income sources. Building a small emergency fund and planning for future investments are also key steps.

Remember, there’s a way out of every problem. It might take time, but with persistence, you can regain control over your finances and live a stress-free life.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

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Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7408 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 06, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 20, 2024Hindi
Money
Sir my monthly salary is 20625 and I took a personal loan of 300000 lacs multiple loan app last 2 year and I have credit card also but with my daily expenses I couldn't pay the total emis and bills so I took some credit from cred application it's almost 1 lacs and now I'm unable to pay any of them as my salary is very low to pay so many emis I can't stop thinking about all this I'm facing anxiety and depression due to debts. I want to come out of this debt and get clean from all this problem. I want to save money and live a normal life. I couldn't share it with anyone also. My father us retired and he couldn't help me.
Ans: I truly understand how stressful financial difficulties can be. It's commendable that you're seeking help to resolve your debts and plan for a better future. Let's develop a comprehensive strategy to tackle your debts and set you on the path to financial stability.

Understanding Your Financial Situation
Firstly, it’s crucial to understand the full picture of your financial situation. Here’s what we know:

Monthly salary: Rs. 20,625
Personal loan: Rs. 3,00,000
Additional credit: Rs. 1,00,000
Total debt: Rs. 4,00,000
Monthly expenses are high, making it difficult to pay EMIs and bills.
Emotional and Mental Well-being
Debt and financial stress can lead to anxiety and depression. It's important to take care of your mental health. Try to talk to a trusted friend or family member about your situation. Sometimes, sharing your burden can make it feel lighter. Professional counseling can also be very helpful.

Immediate Steps to Manage Debt
1. Create a Detailed Budget
List all your monthly income and expenses. This will help you see where your money is going and identify areas where you can cut costs.

2. Prioritize Essential Expenses
Ensure that your basic needs such as food, rent, and utilities are covered first. Allocate funds for these before paying off debts.

3. Negotiate with Creditors
Contact your lenders and explain your situation. They might be willing to restructure your loans or provide a more manageable repayment plan. Some may even offer a temporary reduction in payments.

4. Avoid Taking More Loans
Stop taking new loans or using credit cards. This will only add to your debt and make the situation worse.

Debt Repayment Strategies
1. Debt Consolidation
Consider consolidating all your debts into one loan with a lower interest rate. This can simplify your payments and reduce the overall interest you pay.

2. Debt Snowball Method
Focus on paying off the smallest debts first while making minimum payments on larger ones. Once a small debt is cleared, move on to the next smallest. This method gives you a psychological boost as you see debts being eliminated.

3. Debt Avalanche Method
Prioritize paying off the debt with the highest interest rate first while making minimum payments on others. This method reduces the total interest you pay over time.

Boosting Your Income
1. Part-time Jobs or Freelancing
Look for opportunities to earn extra income through part-time jobs or freelancing. Even a small additional income can help reduce your debt faster.

2. Sell Unused Items
Consider selling items you no longer need. This can provide a quick influx of cash to put towards your debts.

Long-term Financial Planning
Once your immediate debts are under control, focus on building a stable financial future.

1. Emergency Fund
Start building an emergency fund to cover 3-6 months of expenses. This will provide a cushion for unexpected financial challenges.

2. Systematic Savings Plan
Begin saving a small portion of your income regularly. Even a small amount can grow over time through disciplined saving.

3. Avoid Unnecessary Spending
Be mindful of your spending habits. Prioritize needs over wants and avoid impulse purchases.

Investment Planning
After stabilizing your financial situation, consider investing to grow your wealth. Here's a simple guide on different investment options.

1. Mutual Funds
Mutual funds pool money from many investors to purchase securities. They offer diversification and professional management.

Equity Funds: Invest in stocks, providing high returns but with higher risk.
Debt Funds: Invest in bonds, offering stable returns with lower risk.
Hybrid Funds: Combine equity and debt, balancing risk and return.
2. Power of Compounding
Investing early allows you to benefit from compounding, where your earnings generate more earnings. This can significantly grow your wealth over time.

Disadvantages of Index Funds
Index funds aim to replicate the performance of a market index. Here are some drawbacks:

Lack of Flexibility: Cannot adapt to market changes.
Market Risk: Entirely exposed to market fluctuations.
Lower Returns: Often underperform actively managed funds.
Benefits of Actively Managed Funds
Actively managed funds are managed by professionals who make investment decisions to outperform the market.

Flexibility: Managers can adapt to market changes.
Potential for Higher Returns: Aim to beat the market.
Risk Management: Professional managers can mitigate risks.
Disadvantages of Direct Funds
Direct funds have no intermediary, potentially saving costs but have drawbacks:

Lack of Guidance: No professional advice.
Time-Consuming: Requires active management and monitoring.
Higher Risk: Without expert guidance, risk of poor decisions increases.
Benefits of Regular Funds Through CFP
Investing through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) offers numerous advantages:

Professional Advice: Expert guidance on fund selection and portfolio management.
Regular Monitoring: Continuous review and adjustments to optimize returns.
Tailored Portfolio: Customized investment strategy to meet your specific goals.
Tax Planning
Effective tax planning can enhance your savings and investment returns.

1. Utilize Tax Deductions
Maximize deductions under sections like 80C through investments in PPF, ELSS, and other eligible instruments.

2. Health Insurance
Premiums paid for health insurance can be deducted under Section 80D, reducing your taxable income.

Estate Planning
Ensure your assets are distributed according to your wishes through proper estate planning.

1. Draft a Will
Clearly state how your assets should be distributed. This prevents legal complications and ensures your wishes are honored.

2. Appoint Nominees
Appoint nominees for your bank accounts, insurance policies, and investments. This simplifies the transfer of assets in case of your absence.

Final Insights
Financial challenges can be overwhelming, but with a structured approach, you can overcome them. Prioritize your debts, create a budget, and look for ways to boost your income. Once your debts are under control, focus on building a stable financial future through disciplined saving and investing.

Consult a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) for personalized advice and guidance. Stay disciplined, and remember, small steps can lead to significant progress.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

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Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7408 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Aug 14, 2024

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Money
Hi, I'm having 10lakhs of debts because of credit card and loans almost half of that is just charges and interest. I just earn 25-30k per month. Bank agents are coming to home daily. Its giving me mentally so much pressure and unable to do or think anything. Suicide thoughts are running in my mind. I wish to do settlement of everything. How do i do, I dont even have enough money to pay that as well. I was working since 6years 90% of my earnings has been paid towards bank now i cant keep paying. I want to live my life earn something for me and my family. I wanted to buy a home but i cant even buy a home toy for myself. Please someone help me.
Ans: It's essential to recognise that your situation is serious and needs immediate attention. You're facing significant financial stress, but there are steps you can take to manage this situation. It's commendable that you're reaching out for help, which is the first step toward resolving your financial challenges.

Understanding Your Debt Situation
You have Rs. 10 lakhs in debt, mostly from credit cards and loans. The charges and interest have made it difficult to repay. Your monthly income of Rs. 25,000-30,000 is insufficient to manage these debts effectively. The pressure from bank agents is adding to your mental stress, which needs to be addressed immediately.

Emotional Well-being and Mental Health
Your mental well-being is as important as your financial situation. Experiencing suicidal thoughts is a sign that the pressure has become overwhelming. Please consider speaking to a mental health professional immediately. They can provide you with the support you need to navigate this difficult period.

Immediate Steps for Debt Management
1. Prioritise Your Mental Health:
The stress of debt can cloud your judgment. Take small steps to manage your mental health. Reach out to trusted friends, family, or a counsellor who can offer support.

2. Assess Your Debts:
List all your debts, including principal amounts, interest rates, and due dates. This will give you a clear picture of your financial obligations.

3. Negotiate with Creditors:
Contact your creditors to negotiate better terms. Explain your financial situation and request a reduction in interest rates or a more manageable payment plan. Creditors might agree to a settlement amount that is less than what you owe, but it will require a lump sum payment.

4. Consider Debt Consolidation:
If possible, consolidate your debts into a single loan with a lower interest rate. This can simplify repayments and reduce the overall interest burden.

5. Stop Using Credit Cards:
Stop using credit cards to avoid further debt accumulation. Focus on paying off existing balances.

6. Create a Budget:
Create a strict budget that focuses on essential expenses. Allocate any remaining income toward debt repayment.

7. Look for Additional Income:
Consider taking up a part-time job or freelance work to supplement your income. Even a small increase in income can help you manage your debts better.

8. Explore Financial Assistance:
Seek assistance from a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) who can provide guidance tailored to your situation. They may help you find government or non-profit programs designed to assist people in financial distress.

Long-term Financial Planning
1. Build an Emergency Fund:
Once your debts are under control, focus on building an emergency fund to avoid falling back into debt. Start small, even if it's just Rs. 500 per month.

2. Rebuild Your Credit:
Work on improving your credit score by paying your bills on time and keeping your credit utilisation low.

3. Start Saving for the Future:
Gradually start saving for your future goals, such as buying a home. Start with small, regular contributions to a savings account or a low-risk investment.

4. Educate Yourself Financially:
Take the time to learn about personal finance, budgeting, and debt management. This knowledge will empower you to make better financial decisions in the future.

Addressing Your Emotional Well-being
1. Reach Out to Support Groups:
Join support groups for people facing similar financial challenges. Sharing your experiences and hearing from others can provide relief and practical advice.

2. Practice Stress-relief Techniques:
Engage in activities that help reduce stress, such as meditation, exercise, or spending time with loved ones. These activities can improve your mental clarity and resilience.

3. Maintain Open Communication:
Discuss your financial situation with your family, if possible. They can provide emotional support and might help you in finding a solution.

Finally
You are in a challenging situation, but you have options. Taking small, steady steps can lead to significant improvements over time. Focus on both your financial and emotional well-being, and don't hesitate to seek professional help when needed.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

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Anu Krishna  |1422 Answers  |Ask -

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Relationship
after 11 years of courtship i married my boyfriend with parents permission after convincing them .We have been married for 1 year now and in this one year i saw many changes in him.he gives importance to his mother takes decisons without discussing with me but with his mother.To please his mother he talks about me like she dint do that particular thing.Now he went abroad for job and i am pregnant .I left my job and shifted to my parent's place.He doesnt even talk to me or message me.I only have to message him.If i tel any of my pregnancy complaints he either tells his mother or says i am overthinking.Now he said if I dont follow his house rule i better stay in my parents place only .I am so upset and devastated.What should I do
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
What according to you have caused these changes in him and that too after 11 years of courtship? Did any instance cause him to act differently than before? And were there no indications of him acting different during your courtship days?
Why I ask this is that it is difficult for anyone to pretend for 11 long years! He would have displayed his current behavior sometime in the past and maybe you simply decided to overlook it?
Courtship days and marriage days are vastly different and what seemed okay during the courtship time becomes an issue after marriage. If this is not the case, it's quite possible that some incident which was seemingly small became a huge issue in his head causing him to act different?
Now, why am I going into this so much is because most often we overlook reasons that can be worked on. So, do think hard on this...
It is also time to involve your parents who can talk to his mother and figure out why her son is acting all weird. Surely, your mother-in-law needs to know that her interference the way it is, is going to destroy her son's marriage. So, get your parents to talk to her. And in the meantime, as hard as it may seem, do take care of your health for yourself and your baby.

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |485 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 02, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 24, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I am in a relationship with a girl since last 1.5 years, i told her everything regarding my financial status,my past ,everything.......she was also in a relationship for 5 years and she told me intially her ex mistreats her, abuse her , sexually force her and she hates him etc all this stuff.....but i found that she herself called her ex and then told me after 4 months...i forgive her but from last 2 months her behaviour is changed , now she is finding too many problems in how i look, my financial status and compare with other boys that they have car and they took their gf to long drives etc( her ex contacted her again and told her he got a job since then she starts all this stuff? She triggered my insecurities and i am feeling most useless and worst person... what should i do, does she really loves me? Please guide me ...i am started feeling depressed .......
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Let's address the most important thing first, does she really love you? I am not sure about that. It's neither a solid yes or a solid no. But therein lies the challenge. If there is confusion, there is concern. Moreover, the habit of drawing comparisons with other people and how they treat their partners is an indication of a toxic relationship. I would urge you to rethink this relationship.

There will always be someone better out there- with a better car, a better-paying job, or even better looking, but that doesn't mean we stop loving our partner and leave them for that "better someone." Loving your partner is a choice you make every day. Having said that, it is okay if she wants someone "better." Let her. You deserve better too.

Please reconsider this relationship, especially if it is causing you so much sorrow.

Best wishes.

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Ravi Mittal  |485 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 02, 2025

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Hi i am 30yr old man i was in relationship with girl from school time since15 year with different caste in 2023 marriage proposal from another girl comes that time i talked with my family about my love they refused for marriage to her i did not put aggressive effort as i also don't want to hurt them after my marriage in a month i am remembering her continuously and start taking to her again i also told my wife about it she doesn't want to leave me (i also told her before our marriage but that time i told her that we broke up) after a year in this November her marriage is fixed by her parents now she is married since 2 month but she also don't want to live with her husband and want to come back We both wanted to come back to each other what should we do.??
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand that it is a tricky situation. I am sorry I cannot tell you what you should do, but I can tell you that you have to handle this very carefully because it's a sensitive matter and involves too many people and their emotions. You can discuss the same with your family; you might be worried about upsetting them but at the end of the day, it's your life and you will have to live a long long time with the decisions you make. Sort your priorities- ask yourself these simple questions: what would hurt you more- hurting your parents and making your wife collateral damage because of your confusion or not living the rest of your life with the woman you love? Once you can answer these truthfully, it will be easier to make a choice.

Hope this helps

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |485 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 02, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 28, 2024
Relationship
I love my boyfriend very much but the thing is i am not a virgin and my boyfriend doesn’t know that , he thinks i am a virgin and he wants me to be virgin only , i am completely loyal to him I don’t have any type of contact from my ex boyfriend and i really want to marry my boyfriend and live a healthy and loyal life , my boyfriend doesn’t like lies but i really can’t tell him the truth as it will affect my relationship which i don’t want to happen, he will come to know that i am not a virgin but the main problem is my ex bf what if he comes in my life again and tries to spoil my relationship by telling my bf the truth? And i really don’t want this to happen what should i do? I myself don’t want to loe to my bf but this is the thing i really can’t tell him it will break my relationship and other than this there is nothing that i lied i am just afraid what if my ex blackmails me and when my bf comes to know and he will be heartbroken i don’t want to break his trust
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand that your virginity is important to him and you should not have kept this from him, but do you understand that your virginity is your choice? Why does he have a say in it? He is your partner- he loves you, but he doesn't own you. And what you did in your past is not something he can judge you by; why should that affect your relationship? I know that you love him but it's better to tell him the truth and accept the outcome than to keep lying and feel guilty about something you should not even be worrying about.

I am sure he has many great qualities but being so concerned about your virginity seems a little concerning. You are a person with so many other attributes. Why would he ignore all of that and care only about something that you have no control over? I suggest you tell him, but please remember, no matter what he says, you are not at fault here. It's in your past, a time when he did not exist for you.

Best Wishes

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Radheshyam

Radheshyam Zanwar  |1118 Answers  |Ask -

MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on Jan 02, 2025

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7408 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 02, 2025

Money
Hello everyone, I need some advice on investments. I’m planning to invest around 25k monthly in equity mutual funds and stocks through a Demat account in my mother’s new demat account. I already have my own account as well. The investment amount for my mother’s account will come from rental income generated from a property owned by my father. Is this approach acceptable, or could there be any issues with the investment process or the inflow of funds into my mother’s account? My plan is to invest for the long term, approximately 12-15 years.
Ans: Your plan to invest Rs 25,000 monthly in equity mutual funds and stocks is commendable.

A 12-15 year horizon is ideal for equity investments.
Investing through your mother’s Demat account is possible but requires careful attention.
Let us examine the key aspects and potential issues in this approach.

Fund Source and Ownership Implications
Using rental income from property owned by your father raises ownership considerations.

Ensure the rental income is legally transferred to your mother’s account.
If your father remains the legal owner, document the transfer as a gift or allowance.
This clarity avoids tax-related complications in the future.
Proper documentation ensures that the funds in your mother’s account are not questioned.

Taxation of Rental Income
Rental income received by your father will be taxed under his name.

Transferring funds to your mother does not change the tax liability.
Your father will continue to report this income in his tax returns.
Ensure all transactions are clear and traceable for compliance.
This ensures transparency and avoids potential legal issues.

Taxation on Investments in Your Mother’s Name
Investing in your mother’s name offers certain tax advantages.

If your mother has no other significant income, her tax liability will be lower.
Long-term capital gains on equity funds above Rs 1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5%.
Short-term gains are taxed at 20%.
This can reduce the overall tax burden on the portfolio returns.

Choosing the Right Investment Vehicles
Your strategy includes equity mutual funds and stocks. Diversify carefully for consistent growth.

Allocate a significant portion to actively managed equity funds for steady returns.
Avoid index funds due to their passive nature and lack of adaptability.
Use multi-cap or diversified funds to manage risks effectively.
For stocks, focus on blue-chip and fundamentally strong companies for long-term wealth creation.

Avoiding Risks with Direct Funds
Direct funds lack the guidance of an expert.

Without a Certified Financial Planner, portfolio decisions may not align with goals.
Regular funds through a trusted distributor offer better support and insights.
This ensures professional management of your investments.

Monitoring and Rebalancing
Investments require periodic monitoring to stay aligned with goals.

Review the portfolio annually for performance and sector allocation.
Rebalance to maintain the desired equity-debt ratio as market conditions change.
This keeps your portfolio on track over the long term.

Legal and Practical Considerations
Using a separate Demat account in your mother’s name is acceptable.

Ensure that account documentation reflects her as the sole holder.
Clearly separate her investments from your personal portfolio.
This avoids confusion and ensures clarity in ownership.

Suggestions for Long-Term Wealth Creation
Your investment horizon of 12-15 years supports growth-focused strategies.

Allocate 60% to actively managed equity mutual funds for high potential returns.
Reserve 20% for hybrid funds to balance risks and provide stability.
Keep 10% in international equity funds for diversification.
Use 10% for direct stocks in stable and high-growth sectors.
This diversified approach balances risks and maximises returns over time.

Final Insights
Your investment strategy is promising and aligns with long-term wealth creation. Document the fund transfers clearly to avoid tax and legal complications. Avoid index funds and direct funds due to their limitations. Engage a Certified Financial Planner to optimise fund selection and monitoring. A diversified portfolio will help you achieve your financial goals efficiently.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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