Home > Money > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help

Should I invest in India's stock market? I'm 34 with Rs.1Cr in the bank.

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8632 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 22, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jul 22, 2024Hindi
Listen
Money

Hello Mr.Ramalingam Kalirajan I am 34 years old having 1Cr in bank. Just 1 lakh investment in mutual fund. Having a land of 4.5 cr Home of 1.30cr Currently there is no investment done because I have had lost a lot of money on Crypto and dumb investments on stocks without proper knowledge about 7 years back. I am considering for some heavy investments in India. Can u tell me some suggestions.

Ans: You are 34 years old and have Rs 1 crore in the bank. You have Rs 1 lakh invested in mutual funds. You also own land worth Rs 4.5 crore and a home valued at Rs 1.3 crore.

You have no current investments due to past losses in crypto and stocks.

It's great you want to invest heavily now in India.

Investment Strategy and Diversification
Equity Mutual Funds
Actively managed equity mutual funds are a strong option. These funds can potentially offer high returns over the long term. Fund managers use their expertise to outperform the market.

Balanced Funds
Balanced funds provide a mix of equity and debt. This can help balance risk and returns. They offer stability with moderate growth potential.

Debt Mutual Funds
Debt funds are low-risk options. They provide regular income and capital preservation. Ideal for diversifying your portfolio and managing risk.

Avoiding Index Funds and Direct Funds
Disadvantages of Index Funds
Index funds are passively managed. They cannot outperform the market. Actively managed funds, with professional oversight, aim to exceed market returns. This makes them a better choice for aggressive goals.

Disadvantages of Direct Funds
Direct funds may seem cheaper due to lower fees. However, investing through a Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD) with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) credential offers professional guidance. This can lead to better fund selection and higher returns.

Systematic Investment Plan (SIP)
Consider setting up SIPs for regular investments. SIPs help in averaging out market volatility. They ensure disciplined and consistent investing.

Emergency Fund
Maintain an emergency fund. This should cover at least 6 months of expenses. It's essential for financial security and to avoid liquidating investments prematurely.

Diversification and Regular Review
Diversify your portfolio across different asset classes. This reduces risk and increases potential returns. Regularly review your portfolio and make adjustments as needed.

Seeking Professional Guidance
Consult a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) for personalized advice. They can help design a strategy tailored to your financial goals and risk tolerance.

Final Insights
You have a strong financial foundation.

Investing wisely and diversifying can help you achieve your goals. Focus on equity, balanced, and debt mutual funds. Avoid index and direct funds for better returns.

Maintain an emergency fund and consider SIPs. Seek professional guidance for a well-rounded investment strategy.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
Money

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8632 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 17, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 17, 2024Hindi
Listen
Money
Dear Sir, I am 48 year old, having a monthly income of 4 lakh a month post tax. my current investments as follows . Mutual Fund - monthly contribution of 30k for the past 6 years and it has generated a corpus of 20lac so far. LIC jeevan saral yearly payment of 1lakh and this has generated a value of 31lakh so far.. FD currently to the tune of 1.20 crore and couple of other investments to the tune of 3 lakh. I need an advice as am targeting to get 1.5 crore more in next 5 years over and above the current wealth i have. I have no loan commitment. my monthly expenses around 1.5 lakh on an average
Ans: You're in a great financial position with a good monthly income, consistent savings, and a diversified portfolio. Here are some strategies to help you achieve your goal of accumulating an additional Rs. 1.5 crore in the next 5 years:

1. Increase Monthly Investment Amount:

You're currently saving Rs. 30,000 per month in mutual funds. Consider increasing this amount to accelerate your wealth accumulation. You have a significant disposable income (Rs. 4 lakh - Rs. 1.5 lakh = Rs. 2.5 lakh) after expenses.
2. Review Mutual Fund Allocation:

After 6 years, your chosen mutual fund has generated a corpus of Rs. 20 lakh. Analyze the fund's performance and risk profile. Consider consulting a financial advisor to ensure your mutual fund aligns with your goals and risk tolerance.
3. Explore Equity Investment Options:

While FDs offer stability, their returns may not outpace inflation. Consider allocating a portion of your increased savings to equity-based instruments like stocks or aggressive mutual funds for potentially higher growth. However, remember the inherent risk associated with equity investments.
4. Invest in Tax-Saving Instruments:

Utilize tax-saving instruments like Equity Linked Savings Schemes (ELSS) to save taxes while potentially earning higher returns compared to FDs.
Here's a possible breakdown of increased savings:

Increase monthly SIP by Rs. 50,000 (Rs. 30,000 existing + Rs. 50,000 increase)
Invest Rs. 1,00,000 per month in aggressive mutual funds or direct stock picking (if you have the expertise or consult a financial advisor).
Important Considerations:

Risk Tolerance: Equity investments carry higher risk. Ensure your overall portfolio aligns with your risk tolerance.
Diversification: Maintain diversification across asset classes (equity, debt, gold etc.) to mitigate risk.
Financial Advisor: Consulting a financial advisor can provide personalized investment strategies based on your goals and risk profile.
Additional Tips:

Track and Review: Regularly track your investments and review your portfolio to adapt to market conditions and your evolving goals.
Emergency Fund: Maintain an emergency fund to cover unexpected expenses.
By increasing your savings, considering higher growth investment options, and maintaining a diversified portfolio, you can significantly increase your chances of achieving your target of Rs. 1.5 crore in the next 5 years. Remember, this is a general guideline, and consulting a financial advisor can provide a more personalized roadmap for your specific situation.

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8632 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 12, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 07, 2024Hindi
Money
I am 39 years old. I have two houses 3 flats in Delhi and 7 flats in Patna with around 45 thousand (can be increased) rental income. My salary is around 80 thousand Rs. 5 lakhs in MF. 5 lakh in bank. 7 lakhs in EPF. Monthly expenditure is 50 thousands. No life insurance. Medical insurance for all my family members. I have my parents wife and two kids in my family. What are my investment options.
Ans: Your current financial status is quite stable, with multiple income sources and substantial savings. To help you plan better, I will provide a detailed guide on investment options, keeping your goals and requirements in mind.

Current Financial Overview
You have two houses and ten flats, providing a rental income of Rs. 45,000, which can increase. Your monthly salary is Rs. 80,000, and your monthly expenses are Rs. 50,000. You have Rs. 5 lakhs in mutual funds, Rs. 5 lakhs in the bank, and Rs. 7 lakhs in EPF. You have medical insurance covering your family. However, you lack life insurance.

Your family consists of your parents, wife, and two kids. Given this information, we will explore suitable investment strategies to secure your financial future and enhance your wealth.

Importance of Diversification
Diversification helps spread risk across different asset classes. Given your current portfolio, diversifying into various investments can help secure your financial future and reduce risks.

Emergency Fund
Before diving into investments, ensure you have an adequate emergency fund. An emergency fund should cover at least 6-12 months of your monthly expenses. With Rs. 50,000 in monthly expenses, your emergency fund should be between Rs. 3 lakhs to Rs. 6 lakhs.

Since you have Rs. 5 lakhs in the bank, this amount can serve as your emergency fund. It is easily accessible and safe.

Mutual Funds
Mutual funds are a great way to diversify your investments. They offer a mix of debt and equity options, allowing you to balance risk and returns. With Rs. 5 lakhs already in mutual funds, consider increasing this amount.

Actively Managed Funds: These funds are managed by professionals who aim to outperform the market. They are more flexible and can adapt to market changes. Avoid direct funds and invest through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) to get expert advice and better fund management.

Debt Funds: These are less risky and provide stable returns. They are suitable for short-term goals and can be used for regular income through Systematic Withdrawal Plans (SWP).

Equity Funds: These have higher risk but offer higher returns. They are ideal for long-term goals like children's education or retirement.

Systematic Investment Plans (SIP)
SIPs are a disciplined way to invest in mutual funds. Investing a fixed amount regularly helps in averaging the cost and reducing market volatility impact. With your stable income, you can comfortably start a SIP.

Consider starting with a moderate amount and gradually increasing it. Since your rental income can increase, allocate a portion of this additional income to SIPs.

Public Provident Fund (PPF)
PPF is a safe and tax-efficient investment option. It offers good returns and has a long lock-in period, making it suitable for retirement planning. You can invest up to Rs. 1.5 lakhs per year.

Given your current financial status, allocating a portion of your income to PPF can provide long-term security and tax benefits.

National Pension System (NPS)
NPS is a government-sponsored pension scheme offering tax benefits and market-linked returns. It has two tiers:

Tier I Account: This is mandatory and has a lock-in period until retirement. It provides tax benefits under Section 80C and 80CCD.

Tier II Account: This is voluntary and allows for more flexibility in withdrawals.

Investing in NPS can help build a substantial retirement corpus while enjoying tax benefits. It complements your EPF and adds to your retirement security.

Gold
Gold is a good hedge against inflation and market volatility. Investing in gold can diversify your portfolio. You can invest in:

Gold ETFs: These track the price of gold and are traded on stock exchanges.

Sovereign Gold Bonds: Issued by the government, they offer interest and capital appreciation based on gold prices.

Digital Gold: This allows you to buy gold in small quantities and store it digitally.

Gold should be a small part of your portfolio, providing stability and protection against economic uncertainties.

Children's Education Planning
With two kids, planning for their education is crucial. Education costs are rising, and early planning can help manage these expenses.

Child Plans: These are insurance-cum-investment plans designed for children's education. They offer a lump sum at maturity, covering educational expenses.

Equity Mutual Funds: For long-term goals, equity funds can provide higher returns. Invest in a mix of large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap funds to balance risk and returns.

SIPs: Start SIPs dedicated to education planning. Calculate the future cost of education and invest accordingly.

Life Insurance
Life insurance is essential for protecting your family's financial future. Without it, your family may face financial hardships in your absence.

Term Insurance: This is the most cost-effective insurance, providing a large cover at a low premium. It ensures financial security for your family in case of any unfortunate event.

Coverage Amount: Ensure the coverage amount is sufficient to cover your family's expenses, liabilities, and future goals. A rule of thumb is to have coverage of 10-15 times your annual income.

Health Insurance
You already have health insurance for your family, which is excellent. Ensure that the coverage amount is adequate to handle any major medical emergencies.

Top-Up Plans: If your current plan's coverage is low, consider a top-up plan. It provides additional coverage at a lower premium.

Critical Illness Cover: This covers specific critical illnesses and provides a lump sum on diagnosis. It can help cover high medical costs and loss of income during treatment.

Tax Planning
Efficient tax planning helps reduce your tax liability and increase your savings.

Section 80C: Utilize the Rs. 1.5 lakhs limit by investing in PPF, EPF, ELSS, and other eligible instruments.

Section 80D: Claim deductions for health insurance premiums paid for yourself and your family.

Section 80CCD: Get additional tax benefits by investing in NPS.

Home Loan Interest: If you have a home loan, claim deductions on the interest paid under Section 24(b).

Retirement Planning
With a stable income and multiple assets, planning for retirement is crucial.

EPF: Your EPF balance of Rs. 7 lakhs is a good start. Continue contributing to it for a secure retirement.

NPS: As discussed earlier, NPS is a great addition to your retirement plan.

Pension Plans: Consider pension plans that provide a regular income post-retirement. They help maintain your lifestyle and meet expenses.

Mutual Funds: Invest in a mix of equity and debt funds to build a retirement corpus. SIPs can help in systematic investment towards retirement.

Diversification in Investment Strategies
Balanced Funds: These funds invest in a mix of equity and debt. They offer stability and moderate returns. They are suitable for medium-term goals.

Multi-Asset Funds: These invest in multiple asset classes like equity, debt, and gold. They provide diversification and reduce risk.

Estate Planning
Estate planning ensures that your assets are distributed according to your wishes. It provides financial security for your family.

Will: Draft a will to specify how your assets should be distributed. It helps avoid disputes and legal complications.

Trusts: Setting up a trust can provide for your family and manage your assets efficiently.

Nomination: Ensure you have updated nominations for all your investments and insurance policies.

Regular Review and Monitoring
Regularly review your investments to ensure they align with your goals. Monitor their performance and make adjustments if needed.

Annual Review: Review your portfolio annually with a Certified Financial Planner. They can provide expert advice and make necessary changes.

Rebalance Portfolio: Rebalance your portfolio to maintain the desired asset allocation. It helps manage risk and optimize returns.

Final Insights
Your financial position is strong, and with proper planning, you can achieve your goals. Diversify your investments, focus on tax planning, and ensure adequate insurance coverage.

Consider working with a Certified Financial Planner for personalized advice and expert guidance. Regularly review and adjust your investments to stay on track.

With a balanced and well-diversified portfolio, you can secure your family's future and achieve financial freedom.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8632 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 25, 2024

Listen
Money
Hi, Iam 42 years male working as GM with a hotel with 1.2 lac per month salary. Net in hand post TDS is 1.10 lac. Own a flat in Bhiwadi (NCR) worth 25 lac, a shop in Gurgaon worth 30 lac, one paternal house in South Delhi. No loan or EMI. My current savings are 6 lac in digital gold, 1.5 lac in equity, 50,000 in mutual funds which Iam planning to increase on lumpsum basis, no SIP as nature of my job is uncertain. ULIP linked LIC with a premium of 50,000 per year. Term insurance of 75,00,000/- with a premium of 15,000 per annum. Monthly household expenses are 50,000. Need your advise on how to go ahead on investments, I don't believe in long term gain or loss, NO SIP or regular payments, I wish to make. Wish to invest 50,000 per month. Kindly advise.
Ans: You are 42 years old, working as a GM in a hotel with a monthly salary of Rs 1.2 lakh.

Net in hand post TDS is Rs 1.10 lakh.

You own a flat in Bhiwadi worth Rs 25 lakh, a shop in Gurgaon worth Rs 30 lakh, and a paternal house in South Delhi.

Your savings include Rs 6 lakh in digital gold, Rs 1.5 lakh in equity, and Rs 50,000 in mutual funds.

You have a ULIP-linked LIC with a premium of Rs 50,000 per year and a term insurance of Rs 75 lakh with a premium of Rs 15,000 per annum.

Monthly household expenses are Rs 50,000.

You wish to invest Rs 50,000 per month but prefer not to make regular payments like SIPs.

Investment Strategy

Lump Sum Investments

Lump sum investments suit your preference for irregular payments.

Consider investing in diversified equity mutual funds.

These funds provide good returns over time.

Balance risk with a mix of large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap funds.

Digital Gold

You already have Rs 6 lakh in digital gold.

Gold is a good hedge against inflation.

Avoid further investment in gold.

Diversify into other asset classes.

Equity and Mutual Funds

You have Rs 1.5 lakh in equity and Rs 50,000 in mutual funds.

Increase your mutual fund investments.

Choose actively managed funds for better returns.

Avoid direct equity if you cannot regularly monitor the market.

ULIP

ULIPs combine insurance and investment.

They usually have high charges.

Consider surrendering the ULIP and reinvesting in mutual funds.

This can offer better returns and lower charges.

Term Insurance

Your term insurance cover of Rs 75 lakh is good.

Ensure it is sufficient for your family's needs.

Review and adjust coverage if required.

Fixed Income Investments

Consider fixed income options like fixed deposits and government bonds.

These provide stability and predictable returns.

Allocate a portion of your funds here to balance risk.

Emergency Fund

Maintain an emergency fund equal to 6-12 months of expenses.

Keep this fund in a liquid savings account or short-term FD.

This fund provides financial security for unforeseen events.

Tax Saving Investments

Invest in tax-saving instruments under Section 80C.

Consider ELSS mutual funds for tax savings and good returns.

This will reduce your taxable income.

Review and Adjust Portfolio

Regularly review your investment portfolio.

Adjust based on market conditions and personal circumstances.

Consult a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) for professional advice.

Final Insights

Your goal is to invest Rs 50,000 per month with flexibility.

Lump sum investments in diversified equity mutual funds are suitable.

Avoid further investments in gold and consider surrendering ULIP.

Maintain an emergency fund and review your insurance coverage.

Consider tax-saving investments to optimize your tax liability.

Regularly review and adjust your portfolio with professional guidance.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8632 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Oct 03, 2024

Money
Dear Sir, I am about to start a new investment journey. I am willing to invest around 1 lac rupees every month. I am looking for your guidance on "Where shall I invest this amount?" I will get good returns on 15 years of horizon. Shall I invest at one place only or diversify? What can be the options of investment? Thanks.. Regards Paras
Ans: Paras, I appreciate your clarity and long-term focus on investments. A 15-year horizon allows you to take advantage of the power of compounding and market growth. With Rs 1 lakh per month to invest, your financial discipline will pave the way for a strong financial future. Let’s evaluate how to best allocate your monthly investments and achieve good returns over this period.

Diversify Your Investments
It is important to diversify your investments rather than putting everything in one place. Diversification reduces risk and allows you to benefit from different asset classes. Over a 15-year horizon, your portfolio should have a balanced mix of equity for growth, debt for stability, and a small portion in other instruments for diversification.

Equity Mutual Funds for Growth
A large portion of your monthly Rs 1 lakh investment should go into equity mutual funds. Over 15 years, equity can deliver strong returns, outpacing inflation. Actively managed equity mutual funds are ideal for long-term goals as they aim to beat market indices through research-based stock selection. While index funds are passive and may not give superior returns, actively managed funds can provide the expertise needed to outperform.

Debt Mutual Funds for Stability
A portion of your investment should be in debt mutual funds to provide stability. Debt funds offer predictable returns and lower risk compared to equity. While equity is volatile, debt instruments like bonds in these funds provide a cushion against market fluctuations. They also offer liquidity, making them a good option if you need access to funds before the 15 years.

Balanced Allocation
Over the long term, you can consider a 70:30 equity-to-debt ratio. Seventy percent in equity will focus on growth, while 30% in debt funds will offer stability. However, this ratio can be adjusted as you approach the end of the 15 years to reduce exposure to risk.

Systematic Investment Plans (SIPs)
Consistency with SIPs
Systematic Investment Plans (SIPs) allow you to invest regularly in mutual funds. Since you plan to invest Rs 1 lakh each month, SIPs are the best way to ensure disciplined and systematic investments. They also help you average the cost of investments over time, especially in volatile markets.

Increasing Your SIP Amount Annually
You might want to consider increasing your SIP amount by 10% every year. As your income grows, increasing your SIP will help you invest more while maintaining the same financial discipline. This can significantly boost your corpus over time.

Avoid Concentration Risk
Avoid Overdependence on Any Single Asset Class
While equity mutual funds will form the backbone of your investment strategy, avoid putting all Rs 1 lakh solely in equity every month. This exposes you to concentration risk. A mix of equity and debt ensures that not all your investments are subject to market volatility.
Tax Efficiency of Your Investments
Understanding Taxation on Equity Mutual Funds
When you sell your equity mutual funds, the long-term capital gains (LTCG) above Rs 1.25 lakh will be taxed at 12.5%. Short-term capital gains (STCG) are taxed at 20%. These taxes will impact your overall returns, so plan your redemptions strategically to minimise taxes.

Debt Mutual Fund Taxation
For debt mutual funds, both LTCG and STCG are taxed as per your income tax slab. Keeping this in mind, limit redemptions from debt funds unless necessary. However, the tax-efficient nature of mutual funds compared to fixed deposits or other instruments is beneficial for long-term investors like yourself.

Avoid Real Estate as an Investment
Lack of Liquidity and Flexibility
While real estate is often seen as a safe investment, it lacks liquidity and flexibility compared to mutual funds. If you need to sell real estate to meet financial goals, the process can be time-consuming and involve significant costs.

High Maintenance Costs
Real estate requires maintenance, property taxes, and often loan interest payments, which can eat into your returns. For a long-term investment horizon like yours, mutual funds are a better option as they are liquid and professionally managed.

Other Investment Options to Consider
While mutual funds (equity and debt) will be the primary focus, consider a small percentage of your investment in other instruments:

Public Provident Fund (PPF)
The Public Provident Fund (PPF) offers tax-free returns and acts as a safe, long-term investment. Since it has a 15-year lock-in, it matches your investment horizon. You can invest up to Rs 1.5 lakh annually, which qualifies for tax deductions under Section 80C.

Gold ETFs
A small portion of your investment, say 5%, can be allocated to Gold ETFs (Exchange Traded Funds). Gold is a good hedge against inflation and market downturns. Unlike physical gold, Gold ETFs are more liquid and don't have storage issues.

National Pension System (NPS)
The National Pension System (NPS) is another long-term investment option. It’s especially useful for retirement planning, as it offers market-linked returns and tax benefits under Section 80C and 80CCD.

Monitoring and Reviewing Your Investments
Regular Reviews
Even with a 15-year horizon, it’s crucial to review your investments regularly. Markets and economic conditions change, and it’s essential to rebalance your portfolio periodically. This will ensure that your asset allocation stays aligned with your financial goals and risk tolerance.

Seek Professional Guidance
A Certified Financial Planner (CFP) can assist you in reviewing and adjusting your investment plan as needed. They will help ensure that your investments are tax-efficient and aligned with your evolving goals. Investing through a mutual fund distributor (MFD) who has a CFP credential offers added expertise, especially with active fund management.

Finally
Paras, starting your investment journey with Rs 1 lakh a month and a 15-year horizon is a fantastic decision. By diversifying your investments across equity and debt mutual funds, you can build a strong portfolio that balances risk and reward. Regular reviews and disciplined investing will keep you on track for a financially secure future.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

Latest Questions
Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |5617 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jun 02, 2025

Career
I take 2 partial drop with pursuing plain bsc I was preparing for NEET exam but I wasn't serious the way I should be and wasted whole two years now I am not able to understand what to do I am not able to see anything about my career after bsc I don't understand what to do
Ans: Ansika, Feeling lost after a partial drop and NEET preparation is common, but a BSc degree opens a wide array of career paths across science, healthcare, technology, data, and even management sectors. You can pursue higher studies such as an MSc for specialization in your field, MCA for a strong IT career, or an MBA to transition into business roles. Direct job opportunities after BSc include research assistant, lab technician, data analyst, clinical research associate, teacher, or roles in industries like pharmaceuticals, biotechnology, and environmental science. Government sectors like forest services, agriculture, railways, and hospitals also recruit BSc graduates for technical and administrative roles. If you are unsure of your interests, consider a psychometric test to identify your strengths and aptitudes, or seek guidance from a career counselor to align your skills with emerging opportunities. Explore internships or short-term certifications to gain practical experience and confidence in your chosen field. Focus on your strengths, stay open to diverse opportunities, and remember that many successful professionals started with uncertainty—your BSc is a valuable foundation for multiple rewarding careers. All the BEST for your Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURURS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

...Read more

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |5617 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jun 02, 2025

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |5617 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jun 02, 2025

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1616 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 02, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - May 23, 2025
Relationship
I've been married for 19 years. We live in a joint family with my husband and in-laws. Since last year, my father has recently become bedridden and needs constant care. Since he lives in another city, I have been travelling constantly to take turns to attend him. I want to bring him to our home, but my mother-in-law strongly objects saying they will lose their privacy. My husband tries to mediate but often ends up siding with his mother, saying she's getting old too. I am not able to decide being a daughter and a daughter-in-law. Is it unfair of me to expect support for my father, or am I compromising too much in this marriage?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You surely are walking on a thin rope trying to balance both sides...it seems unfair, yes!
What I can suggest to you is: Find out what exactly is your mother-in-law's concern? What does she mean by 'lose their privacy'?
Usually, these statements are just reactionary to a much deeper concern. Try to address what bothers her; it could be as simple as your attention moving away from home and other responsibilities...she may possibly feel awkward being around your father...all these facts get masked under broad statements which to you may seem like excuses...so instead of playing this dance being the daughter and daughter-in-law, dig out more information, so that you can address concerns and not the reactions from them.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x