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Am I stuck in debt even with a high income?

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7026 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Aug 30, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Franky Question by Franky on Jun 18, 2024Hindi
Money

Hello gurus! I am 41, I earn 28 lakhs per month in Chennai. I have a debt of 1.75 lakhs each month. This consist of HL, CL and PL. How can I reduce it quickly?

Ans: At 41, earning Rs. 28 lakhs per month is commendable. However, a debt of Rs. 1.75 lakhs each month can be overwhelming. It includes a home loan (HL), car loan (CL), and personal loan (PL). Reducing this debt quickly will free up more of your income for investments and other financial goals.

Evaluating Your Debt Structure
Before diving into debt reduction, it’s essential to understand your debt structure. Each loan type has different interest rates and repayment terms.

Home Loan (HL): Generally, home loans have lower interest rates and longer tenures. They also offer tax benefits, which can reduce the effective interest rate.

Car Loan (CL): Car loans typically have higher interest rates than home loans. They are secured loans, but the asset (car) depreciates over time, making this debt less favorable.

Personal Loan (PL): Personal loans often have the highest interest rates. They are unsecured, meaning they don’t have collateral backing them. Reducing personal loans should be a priority due to their high cost.

Prioritizing Debt Repayment
To reduce your debt quickly, you should prioritize which loans to pay off first. This strategy is known as the debt avalanche or debt snowball method.

Debt Avalanche Method: Focus on paying off the loan with the highest interest rate first. This approach saves you money on interest in the long run.

Debt Snowball Method: Pay off the smallest loan amount first. This method provides psychological benefits by quickly reducing the number of loans you have.

Given your situation, the debt avalanche method may be more effective due to the high interest rates associated with personal loans.

Creating a Debt Repayment Plan
Now, let’s create a plan to tackle your debt. A structured approach will help you stay focused and achieve your goal faster.

Assess Your Monthly Budget: Start by assessing your monthly budget. Calculate your essential expenses, including EMIs, household expenses, and other commitments.

Identify Surplus Income: With a high monthly income of Rs. 28 lakhs, you should have surplus income after meeting essential expenses. This surplus can be directed towards extra debt payments.

Increase EMI Payments: Consider increasing your EMI payments on the loan with the highest interest rate. Even a small increase can significantly reduce your loan tenure and interest burden.

Make Lump Sum Payments: Whenever you receive a bonus, incentive, or any extra income, use it to make a lump sum payment towards your debt. This will reduce your principal amount and interest burden.

Refinancing or Restructuring Loans
Another strategy to reduce your debt quickly is to refinance or restructure your loans.

Home Loan Balance Transfer: If your home loan interest rate is higher than the current market rates, consider a home loan balance transfer. This can lower your EMI and interest payments.

Consolidate High-Interest Loans: If possible, consolidate your high-interest personal loans into a single loan with a lower interest rate. This can simplify repayment and reduce your overall interest cost.

Negotiating with Lenders: Sometimes, lenders are willing to negotiate terms, especially if you have a good credit history. Try negotiating for lower interest rates or extended loan tenures to reduce your monthly burden.

Building an Emergency Fund
Before aggressively paying off your debt, ensure you have an emergency fund in place. This fund should cover 6-12 months of living expenses. It acts as a safety net in case of unexpected expenses, preventing you from taking on more debt.

Controlling Expenses
Reducing your debt quickly requires discipline in managing your expenses.

Track Your Spending: Regularly track your spending to identify areas where you can cut back. Redirect these savings towards debt repayment.

Avoid New Debt: Resist the temptation to take on new debt, especially for discretionary spending. Focus on clearing your existing debt first.

Using Investments Wisely
You may have investments that are not performing well or are not aligned with your financial goals.

Redeem Underperforming Investments: Consider redeeming underperforming or non-essential investments to make a lump sum payment towards your debt. This can accelerate your debt reduction process.

Avoid Redeeming High-Performing Investments: On the other hand, avoid redeeming investments that are performing well and aligned with your long-term goals.

Role of Insurance
Having adequate insurance is crucial when managing debt. It protects your family’s financial future in case of unforeseen circumstances.

Life Insurance: Ensure you have enough life insurance coverage to pay off your debts if something happens to you. This will prevent your family from inheriting your debt burden.

Health Insurance: Having comprehensive health insurance is essential. It can prevent unexpected medical expenses from disrupting your debt repayment plan.

Monitoring and Adjusting Your Plan
Your financial situation may change over time. Regularly monitor your debt repayment plan and adjust it as needed.

Review Your Progress: Every few months, review your progress. Are you reducing your debt as planned? If not, identify the challenges and adjust your strategy.

Stay Disciplined: Reducing debt quickly requires discipline. Stay committed to your plan, even if it means making short-term sacrifices for long-term benefits.

Final Insights
Reducing your debt quickly is achievable with a well-structured plan and disciplined approach. Focus on paying off high-interest loans first, increase your EMI payments, and make lump sum payments whenever possible.

Refinancing or restructuring your loans can also help reduce your monthly burden. Ensure you have an emergency fund in place and adequate insurance coverage to protect your financial future.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7026 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 11, 2024

Money
Hello Sir, My in hand salary is 98000 but loan EMIs and Credit Card bills are 1.75 lacs. I don't have have savings due to multiple medical issues in my family from the 3-4 years. Im heart patient as well. Can you please guide me the way to com out from my debts. Thanks
Ans: I appreciate your courage in sharing your situation. Managing financial stress, especially with health issues, is challenging. Let's create a practical plan to help you get out of debt and build a secure financial future.

Understanding Your Financial Situation
Monthly Income: Rs 98,000
Monthly Debt Obligations: Rs 1.75 lakhs
Savings: None due to medical expenses
Immediate Steps to Manage Debt
Assessing Your Debt
Total Debt: Calculate the total amount owed, including all loan EMIs and credit card bills.
Interest Rates: Identify the interest rates for each debt. Prioritize high-interest debts first.
Budgeting and Expense Management
Create a Budget: List all your essential monthly expenses (food, utilities, rent, etc.). Identify non-essential expenses that can be reduced or eliminated.
Track Spending: Use a notebook or an app to track every rupee spent. This will help you identify areas to cut costs.
Prioritizing Debt Repayment
High-Interest Debt First
Credit Cards: These often have the highest interest rates. Focus on paying more than the minimum due to reduce principal faster.
Personal Loans: Once high-interest debts are managed, focus on personal loans.
Debt Consolidation Options
Debt Consolidation Loan: Consider taking a personal loan to consolidate high-interest debts into a single loan with a lower interest rate.
Balance Transfer: Transfer your credit card balance to a card with a lower interest rate, if possible.
Negotiating with Creditors
Contact Creditors: Explain your financial situation to your creditors. Request lower interest rates or a temporary reduction in monthly payments.
Debt Settlement: If negotiation fails, consider debt settlement. This involves negotiating a lump sum payment that is less than the total amount owed.
Increasing Your Income
Exploring Additional Income Sources
Freelancing: Use skills like writing, graphic design, or tutoring to earn extra income. Platforms like Upwork and Freelancer can help.
Part-Time Jobs: Look for part-time work that fits your schedule. Delivery services, tutoring, or online customer support jobs can provide additional income.
Leveraging Existing Skills
Skill Enhancement: Invest time in enhancing skills that can increase your earning potential. Online courses on platforms like Coursera or Udemy can be helpful.
Networking: Connect with professionals in your field who can offer freelance opportunities or part-time work.
Managing Health and Finances
Health Insurance
Review Existing Policies: Ensure that you and your family have adequate health insurance coverage to reduce out-of-pocket medical expenses.
Government Schemes: Explore government health schemes that may offer assistance with medical costs.
Long-Term Financial Planning
Building an Emergency Fund
Start Small: Once debts are under control, start building an emergency fund. Aim for at least 3-6 months’ worth of living expenses.
Consistency: Contribute a small, consistent amount each month to this fund.
Investing for the Future
Mutual Funds: After stabilizing your finances, consider investing in mutual funds for long-term growth. Start with small SIPs (Systematic Investment Plans).
Professional Guidance: Consult a Certified Financial Planner to choose the right funds and investment strategy based on your risk profile and goals.
Addressing Emotional and Psychological Stress
Seeking Support
Family and Friends: Share your concerns with trusted family members or friends who can offer support and advice.
Counseling: Consider seeking help from a financial counselor or a therapist to manage stress and develop coping strategies.
Positive Mindset
Focus on Progress: Celebrate small milestones in your debt repayment journey. Each step brings you closer to financial freedom.
Stay Motivated: Remind yourself of your long-term goals, like owning a home or securing a stable financial future.
Exploring Government and NGO Assistance
Government Schemes
Debt Relief Programs: Research if there are any government debt relief programs available that you may qualify for.
Subsidies and Grants: Explore government subsidies or grants that can assist with medical expenses or other financial needs.
Non-Governmental Organizations
Financial Assistance: Some NGOs offer financial assistance or low-interest loans to individuals in financial distress.
Medical Aid: Look for NGOs that provide support for medical expenses.
Planning for a Sustainable Future
Education and Skill Development
Lifelong Learning: Continue learning and upgrading your skills to increase job opportunities and earning potential.
Certifications: Obtain certifications in your field to enhance your qualifications and career prospects.
Financial Literacy
Financial Education: Educate yourself on personal finance, budgeting, and investing. Books, online courses, and workshops can be valuable resources.
Smart Financial Decisions: Apply your knowledge to make informed financial decisions, avoiding high-interest debt and building savings.
Practical Tips for Financial Discipline
Avoiding High-Interest Debt
Credit Card Usage: Use credit cards sparingly and only if you can pay the full balance each month to avoid interest charges.
Loans: Avoid taking new loans unless absolutely necessary. Focus on repaying existing debts first.
Regular Financial Review
Monthly Check-In: Review your financial situation monthly. Adjust your budget and spending as needed to stay on track.
Annual Goals: Set annual financial goals and review your progress at the end of each year.
Final Insights
Getting out of debt while managing health issues is challenging, but it is possible with a structured plan and disciplined approach. Prioritize paying off high-interest debt first, consider debt consolidation, and explore additional income sources. Manage expenses carefully and seek professional advice to develop a sustainable financial strategy.

Invest in your skills and financial education to improve your long-term earning potential. Seek support from family, friends, and professional counselors to manage emotional stress. Utilize government schemes and NGO assistance to alleviate financial burdens.

Remember, every step you take towards financial stability is progress. Stay focused on your goals, maintain a positive mindset, and celebrate small achievements along the way. With determination and careful planning, you can overcome your financial challenges and build a secure and prosperous future.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7026 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 19, 2024

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Money
I have a debt of 70 lakhs how do I clear it, my salary is only 37250
Ans: You are currently facing a significant debt of Rs 70 lakhs with a monthly salary of Rs 37,250. Clearing this debt will require a strategic and disciplined approach.

Step-by-Step Debt Repayment Plan
1. Assess Your Debt
Type of Debt: Identify the types of debt you have (home loan, personal loan, credit card debt, etc.).
Interest Rates: List the interest rates for each debt.
Monthly EMIs: Calculate the total monthly EMIs for your debt.
2. Create a Budget
Track Expenses: Track your monthly expenses and categorize them (essentials, non-essentials, savings).
Cut Unnecessary Costs: Identify areas where you can cut back on expenses.
3. Prioritize Debt Repayment
High-Interest Debt: Focus on paying off high-interest debt first. This will reduce the overall interest burden.
Debt Snowball Method: Alternatively, use the debt snowball method by paying off the smallest debt first to gain momentum.
4. Increase Your Income
Part-Time Job: Consider taking a part-time job or freelance work to increase your income.
Skill Enhancement: Invest in skills that can help you get a higher-paying job or promotion.
5. Consolidate Debt
Debt Consolidation Loan: Explore options for a debt consolidation loan with a lower interest rate to simplify payments and reduce interest.
Balance Transfer: If you have credit card debt, consider a balance transfer to a card with a lower interest rate.
6. Negotiate with Lenders
Interest Rate Reduction: Negotiate with your lenders to reduce the interest rate or extend the repayment period.
Settlement Offers: In some cases, lenders might offer a settlement amount for a one-time payment that is less than the total outstanding amount.
Detailed Action Plan
Immediate Actions
Track and Cut Expenses: Use a budgeting app or a spreadsheet to track all your expenses.
Prioritize EMIs: Ensure you never miss an EMI payment to avoid penalties and further damage to your credit score.
Medium-Term Actions
Increase Income: Look for side gigs, freelance opportunities, or part-time jobs.
Skill Enhancement: Enroll in online courses or certifications that can boost your earning potential.
Long-Term Actions
Debt Consolidation: Research and apply for a debt consolidation loan if it offers a lower interest rate.
Negotiate with Lenders: Reach out to your lenders to discuss possible interest rate reductions or settlement options.
Professional Guidance
Certified Financial Planner (CFP): Consult a CFP for personalized advice and a detailed financial plan.
Debt Counselor: Consider speaking with a debt counselor who can help negotiate with creditors and provide structured repayment plans.
Monitoring and Adjusting
Regular Reviews: Review your financial situation and debt repayment progress monthly.
Adjust Plan: Adjust your budget and repayment plan based on changes in income, expenses, or debt structure.
Final Insights
Managing a large debt with a modest income requires meticulous planning and discipline. By prioritizing high-interest debt, increasing income, consolidating debt, and seeking professional advice, you can steadily progress towards clearing your debt. Regular reviews and adjustments to your plan will ensure you stay on track.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7026 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 22, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 22, 2024Hindi
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Money
Dear sir, My monthly income is 1.5Lacs Monthly Expenses: 2.5 Lacs Borrowed money from Market 80Lacs How can get rid of this debt plz advise me Thank you Mohammed Majeed
Ans: Dear Mohammed,

Handling your debt effectively and improving your financial health requires a strategic approach. Here are some steps you can take to manage and eventually eliminate your debt.

Assess Your Current Financial Situation
Monthly Income and Expenses: You have a monthly income of Rs 1.5 lakhs and expenses of Rs 2.5 lakhs. This results in a deficit of Rs 1 lakh per month.

Borrowed Money: You have borrowed Rs 80 lakhs from the market. This is a significant amount and needs careful planning to repay.

Create a Detailed Budget
Track Expenses: Note down all your expenses, categorize them, and identify non-essential items.

Cut Down Costs: Focus on reducing discretionary spending. Prioritize needs over wants.

Increase Income Streams
Additional Work: Look for part-time or freelance opportunities to boost your income.

Utilize Skills: Use your skills to offer consulting or other services.

Debt Repayment Strategy
Prioritize High-Interest Debt: Focus on repaying the highest interest debt first. This will reduce the overall interest burden.

Debt Consolidation: Consider consolidating your loans into a single loan with a lower interest rate. This simplifies payments and can reduce interest costs.

Negotiate with Creditors
Interest Rate Reduction: Contact creditors to negotiate lower interest rates or extended repayment terms.

Restructuring Loans: If possible, restructure your loans to make repayment more manageable.

Financial Discipline
Avoid New Debt: Resist taking on new debt until the existing one is under control.

Emergency Fund: Gradually build an emergency fund to avoid relying on debt for unexpected expenses.

Utilize Professional Guidance
Certified Financial Planner: Seek advice from a Certified Financial Planner (CFP). They can provide a personalized plan based on your financial situation.
Regular Review and Adjustment
Monthly Review: Regularly review your budget and repayment plan. Adjust as needed to stay on track.

Final Insights
Commitment: Managing and eliminating debt requires commitment and financial discipline.

Professional Help: Utilize professional guidance to navigate complex financial decisions.

Long-Term View: Focus on long-term financial health, not just immediate relief.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7026 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Oct 18, 2024

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Money
Sir , i am having a debt of 44lakhs and my salary is only 30k and i paying 3lakh interest everymonth...can u plse help me to over come
Ans: Dealing with a debt of Rs 44 lakhs while having a salary of Rs 30,000 and paying Rs 3 lakh in interest per month is indeed a challenging situation. However, with careful planning and the right strategy, you can take steps towards reducing this burden.

Assess Your Financial Situation
First, it's important to fully assess your current financial standing.

Total Debt: You have a debt of Rs 44 lakhs.

Interest Payment: You are paying Rs 3 lakh in interest each month. This seems unsustainable considering your salary is Rs 30,000.

Income: Your current salary is Rs 30,000, which is insufficient to cover even the interest, let alone other expenses.

This imbalance between your income and your debt needs immediate attention.

Prioritise Debt Management
Your priority should be to reduce the interest burden and find ways to manage the debt more effectively. Here’s a step-by-step approach:

1. Understand Your Debt Structure
You need to clearly understand the type of debt you have.

Secured or Unsecured Debt: Is the loan secured by any asset (like a home or vehicle), or is it unsecured debt like credit card debt or personal loans?

Interest Rate: What is the interest rate you are being charged? Higher interest debts should be tackled first.

2. Negotiate with Your Lender
If possible, negotiate with your lender to restructure the loan.

Loan Restructuring: Ask for a longer repayment period. This could reduce the monthly interest payment.

Lower Interest Rate: Try negotiating for a lower interest rate, especially if you have a good payment history. Some lenders may be willing to help if you explain your situation.

Switch to a Cheaper Loan: You can consider transferring your loan to a lender offering a lower interest rate.

3. Cut Down Unnecessary Expenses
In this situation, it's crucial to reduce your expenses to the bare minimum.

Essential vs. Non-Essential: Distinguish between essential and non-essential spending. Cut out anything that is not absolutely necessary.

Budget Strictly: Stick to a strict budget that allocates as much as possible towards debt repayment.

4. Increase Your Income
You need to explore options for increasing your income. While this might not be easy, it’s essential in your situation.

Additional Job/Part-Time Work: Consider taking up a part-time job or freelance work to supplement your income.

Rent or Asset Income: If you own any assets like a property, consider renting them out. This could generate an additional income stream.

Sell Unnecessary Assets: If you have assets like vehicles or any other property that are not essential, consider selling them to pay down your debt.

Debt Consolidation
Another strategy to consider is consolidating your debt. This can be done in two ways:

Take a Consolidation Loan: This allows you to combine all your debts into one loan with a lower interest rate. This can reduce your monthly interest payments and make the debt more manageable.

Home Loan Top-Up: If you have a home loan, consider taking a top-up loan at a lower interest rate to pay off your high-interest debts.

Focus on High-Interest Debt
In your case, since you are paying Rs 3 lakh in interest every month, your focus should be on reducing the highest interest debts first. This will lower your interest burden.

Snowball Method: Another approach is to pay off smaller debts first, to build momentum and free up cash flow.

Avalanche Method: Focus on paying down the highest-interest debt first, which will save more money in the long run.

Debt Counselling
In such a severe debt situation, you may also consider reaching out to a certified financial planner for debt counselling.

Debt Management Plan: A professional can help you create a customised debt management plan. This can include negotiation with lenders and a step-by-step repayment plan.

CFP Assistance: A Certified Financial Planner can provide expert guidance in restructuring your debt, ensuring your financial health is restored.

Avoid Taking New Loans
It may be tempting to take on new loans to pay off the old ones, but this can lead to a debt trap. Avoid taking any new loans, especially high-interest ones like credit card or personal loans.

Finally
Your situation requires immediate action. Start by talking to your lenders, reducing expenses, and increasing your income. With proper planning and the right guidance, you can gradually reduce this debt burden. Reach out to a Certified Financial Planner for help in building a long-term plan.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP
Chief Financial Planner
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

Latest Questions
Dr Shyam

Dr Shyam Jamalabad  |78 Answers  |Ask -

Dentist - Answered on Nov 14, 2024

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Health
Dr. Shyam, I had my teeth cleaned 6 months ago and after that was done I saw discoloration on certain teeth that wasn't there before. Years ago I had my teeth cleaned and one particular tooth after the cleaning was sensitive to touch. I had a crown put in from two different dental offices. The first one did the crown right, but was trying to charge me $3,500 more than the agreement they made with Medicare. Medicare corrected that. I other dentist did a crown and it didn't go all the way up to my gums and is sensitive to especially cold things. I'm not having very good experiences with dentist by and large. Can't find an honest one or one that can actually do the job right. I feel being on Medicare your a target to bring in money. Not sure what to do next. Supposed to go back and have them redo the crown that didn't go to my gums, but it also was ttd place to didn't clean my teeth right and discolored some of them. Any suggestions on how to trust there is actually an capable and honest dentist out there who can perform properly?
Ans: Identifying a capable and honest dentist is crucial for your oral health and well-being. Here are some tips to help you find one:

1. Ask for referrals: Ask friends, family, or coworkers for recommendations. They can provide valuable insights into a dentist's work quality and bedside manner.

2. Check credentials: Ensure the dentist has the necessary qualifications, certifications, and licenses. You can verify this information with your state's dental board or professional organizations like the American Dental Association (ADA).

3. Check online reviews: Look up the dentist on review platforms. Pay attention to the overall rating and read the comments to understand the strengths and weaknesses. At the same time, do not rely on reviews alone as these can be manipulated, fake reviews can be easily generated.

4. Evaluate their communication style: A good dentist should listen to your concerns, explain procedures clearly, and answer questions patiently. Ensure you feel comfortable asking questions and discussing your treatment.

5. Assess their facility and equipment: A well-organized and modern dental office with up-to-date equipment is a good sign.

6. Check their approach to preventive care: A capable dentist emphasizes preventive care, including regular cleanings, exams, and education on oral hygiene.

7. Be wary of over-treatment: A honest dentist will not recommend unnecessary procedures. Be cautious if you feel pressured into extensive treatments.

8. Trust your instincts: If something feels off or you don't click with the dentist, it's okay to explore other options.

10. Schedule a consultation: Many dentists offer initial consultations or meet-and-greets. Use this opportunity to assess their approach, ask questions, and gauge your comfort level.

By following these steps, you can increase your chances of finding a capable and honest dentist who prioritizes your oral health and well-being.

...Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |416 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 14, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 03, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi, I am 30 years old not married & now my parents are forcing me to get married. I think i am good looking guy. It's not like i have never been with girls. I have had brief flings with multiple girls. And there was one girl whom i was in a platonic relationship with with lot of emotional sharing & have spent a lot of time with her. The same goes with another girl. Both of them have told me that i have been pretty cool & girls would like me to be their bf or husband. But i am not able to accept anyone because of the guilt that of my past that i never had a relationship. Never been able to tell anyone that i had a gf. I know this is wrong to compare my life but i can't stop thinking that way. Can you tell me what to do? Like a contsant regret of not having a very steamy cool fancy relationship from outside. I know relationships have it's own ups & downs. But this guilt is killing me that i missed out lot of things in life & if get married in an arranged marriage i would feel myself to be a looser who couldn't even find a girl on his own. Though i know all of these comparisons are wrong & i should be rational. I am not able to help it. Please help me out
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Whatever you are feeling, it is very normal. More people than you could imagine go through this same phase. But as you mentioned, these are just thoughts; there is no truth to them. Not having a relationship does not make you uncool. It merely means that you did not meet your perfect match yet. I understand that you feel like you have missed out on something and that feeling is valid. It might not be reasonable, but it's very natural to think this way. I can suggest one thing- why don't you try a dating or matchmaking app to find your own partner? That way, you will be keeping your parents' wishes and won't let yourself down either. It will also give you more control over choosing your life partner.

Hope this helps.

...Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |416 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 14, 2024

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Relationship
Hi, I got married to my ex gf in an arranged setup. I had a 7 year of relationship with her before breakup. My career switch try from private to govt job was the reason. When I failed I returned back to corporate. 3 years after the breakup her father who is a good friend of my father sent proposal which led to our marriage. No one knew that we dated. We never had a word between the acceptance and marriage. None of us initiated the conversation. When she came after marriage her behavior towards me in private is totally strange. We never had an emotional conversation. Neither we discuss romance nor intimacy. In private we hardly have any intellect discussions which was an eternal part before our breakup. But when she is in public she behaves like she cares for me a lot. She is a darling of everyone in the house whether my parents or siblings. Most of the time she remains with my mother and she has good bond. In front of her she cares for me a lot. She had this double faced attitude from the first day. Our intimacy is limited to my ask she could agree or disagree but she never initiated it. She was pretty passionate before our breakup which I never saw after our marriage. I tried everything but nothing has happened she never opened up. She disconnected with almost all our mutual friends after marriage. Whenever I tried through some of her friends she says to them I overthink a lot. Marriages and relationships differs. All useless and weird reasons. Everyone blames my teenage short temper issue. Which I have completely overcame when I started working. After marriage we had a boy. She says no for a next child for which I am fine. But the problem is now my child is growing and she has started understanding her hypocrisy. Now she blames me for teaching him wrong things. We hardly had fights as she walks out or I won't say word usually after she didn't answer for anything. I am unable to see the light in this relationship. She had 3 relationships in between but I never had one which I never discussed. Now I hardly ask for anything. Day by day we are becoming only room partners or fake couples in public. Everyone sees her as an ideal daughter in law or wife due to her public hypocrisy. Please guide.
Ans: Dear Salman,
I understand that marital issues take a huge toll on people. Whatever you are feeling, it is very normal. I strongly suggest you seek professional help- you can either opt for personal counseling sessions to manage the distress caused by your partner's indifference, or the best approach is to convince your wife to go for marriage counseling with you. It would be good to get to the root of the matter; why is she behaving a certain way, where is this coming from, are there unresolved issues from when you dated? These questions will finally get an answer and you can work on them together. If she does not agree to go, tell her to do it for your child. No child should have to see their parents unhappy with each other.

Hope this helps.

...Read more

Dr Nagarajan J S K

Dr Nagarajan J S K   |163 Answers  |Ask -

Health Science and Pharmaceutical Careers Expert - Answered on Nov 14, 2024

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Career
I want to give NEET exam but my 12th in Maharashtra Board marks are less than 150 in PCB (general), so I am not eligible. can I give retest of 12th to get better marks so that I can give NEET.
Ans: Hi, Being a retest candidate is considered a second attempt in +2. I think the medical council will not allow admission to medicine. Instead, you can consider B.Pharm / Pharm D.

To join, the following are the requirements:

For pharm D: Minimum qualification for admission to. – a) Pharm.D. Part-I Course – A pass in any of the following examinations - (1) 10+2 examination with Physics and Chemistry as compulsory subjects along with one of the following subjects: Mathematics or Biology. (2) A pass in D.Pharm course from an institution approved by the Pharmacy Council of India under section 12 of the Pharmacy Act. (3) Any other qualification approved by the Pharmacy Council of India as equivalent to any of the above examinations. Provided that a student should complete the age of 17 years on or before 31st December of the year of admission to the course.

FOR B.PHARM:
Minimum qualification for admission to – A. First year B. Pharm – A pass in any of the following examinations - i. Candidate shall have passed 10+2 examination conducted by the respective state/central government authorities recognized as equivalent to 10+2 examination by the Association of Indian Universities (AIU) with English as one of the subjects and Physics, Chemistry, Mathematics/Biology as optional subjects individually. “However, the students possessing 10+2 qualification from non-formal and non-class rooms based schooling such as National Institute of Open Schooling, open school systems of States etc. shall not be eligible for admission to B.Pharm Course.” ii. Any other qualification approved by the Pharmacy Council of India as equivalent to any of the above examinations. Provided that a student should complete the age of 17 years on or before 31st December of the year of admission to the course. Provided that there shall be reservation of seats for the students belonging to the Scheduled Castes, Scheduled Tribes and other Backward Classes in accordance with the instructions issued by the Central Government/State Government/Union Territory Administration as the case may be from time to time.

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