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Advait Arora  | Answer  |Ask -

Financial Planner - Answered on May 02, 2023

Advait Arora has over 20 years of experience in direct investing in stock markets in India and overseas.
He holds a masters in IT management from the University Of Wollongong, Australia, and an MBA in marketing from Charles Strut University, NewCastle, Australia.
Advait is a firm believer in the power of compounding to help his clients grow their wealth.... more
gokuldas Question by gokuldas on Apr 19, 2023Hindi
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i am having 100 shares of aditya birla capital @ 119 can i sell or hold ?

Ans: It has not been performing well since a long time. lets check results and see if growth is consistent or not
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 06, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 03, 2024Hindi
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Me and my bf are resident docters in a hospital .We hardly had time with each other ,but always supported each other in difficult times.Through fights ,breakups ,patch ups ,we were there all in these 3 years .He has always been more career oriented , hardly expressed any feelings on his own for me ,he only expressed or said i love when i asked him too .Now i m in my last year of md exams ,he got selected in aiims delhi dm since he was senior to me .Now he hardly communicates with me ,like in 48 h ,all we do is talk for 2 min ,where he hardly says anything ,sometimes he talks is about work.I have asked him multiple times if anything wrong i did ,he has kept on saying he is busy ,he says atleast i call u ,i hardly have time for anyone.He says all he sees now is his work ,patients and career . I have always adjusted according to him ,now it is becoming difficult to adjust .I cant take the trauma of leaving him ,because i have very important exams in 4 months .He was my only bestfriend ,my guide ,my love .He has been changed person .But i m studying and working almost 20 hrs , how to cope up ,i m all alone in this melodrama ,sometimes i wish i was dead
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Your feelings are valid. It is indeed difficult to adjust to an unexpressive partner. One out of two things can be happening here- one, he does not know how to express his emotions; that is who he is fundamentally. Two, the work pressure and hectic hours have made him detached. You can try having an open conversation with him about it and let him know that you are not being able to carry on like this. Communicate your concerns and how his attitude toward you has affected your mental health. That is the only way to move forward. After the conversation either of two things will happen- it will be a wake-up call for him and things will change for the better. Or, he will continue to behave the same way and you have to rethink the relationship. My suggestion is to have the talk after your exams. I know you think he is your everything, but you are your everything. Do not let this relationship waste the years of hard work you have put into your studies. Focus on yourself and trust me when I say this- value yourself the way you want others to value you. If you don't, why would anyone else?

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Anu Krishna  |1274 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 06, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 31, 2024
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I am married for last 3 years. I found out about my wife's sexual past just months into our marriage. I even enquired her about her past before our marriage and told her that I don't tolerate lies and don't believe in premarital sex but she still lied to me and deceived into a fraud marriage. So I started sleeping with prostitutes and call girls as a revenge. I even had an affair with a divorced woman but that didn't last long. I know I didn't do anything wrong. She is the one is in the wrong. She deceived me into a fraud marriage. Should I forgive her and live with her?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
instead of dealing with the problem at hand, you decided to go and create more problems?
What prevented you from actually talking to your wife. If you felt cheated, was it not possible for you to channel the anger by having a conversation with her about it? Revenge never helped anyone, but well...
Now, by blaming her, what can happen is that she will defend and you will again accuse and this will go on...
So, yes you are feeling cheated and deceived by her. You have two ways of approaching it. rebuild your marriage and start with a clean slate which means she cannot keep secrets with you anymore OR you can build more anger which is bound to destroy the marriage. I would suggest the first option where you get a fair chance to express how you feel to her and also come clean with your revenge scene with her...this may help both of you put things aside and rebuild the connection. Give this a fair shot!

All the best!
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Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 06, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 05, 2024Hindi
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Hello, I am a 42 year old woman with a 14 year old boy and a 12 year old girl. Ours was an arranged marriage. I got married at age 23 and my husband is just 2 years older to me. Right from the beginning my husband is great at cooking, household chores etc but never expresses romance openly. I was always a emotional woman who slowly turned to him and stopped expressing my needs well. So far out marriage was great cos I avoided confrontations and arguments. Only thing was he was always a critical person and I am emotional girl . Since I cld not express myself clearly as he never heard me, my communication with him sounded nagging, comparing and complaining. In 2011, he cheated on me and I learnt on his affair. I did not know how to process this phase so immediately forgave him within 2-3 days and even ended up being pregnant with my daughter. However he never used to speak on his past affair not were my feelings resolved. Whenever he would speak rudely or yelled at kids or me for little things, the past trauma would trigger and I would openly remind him of his grave mistake. This went on and he would get agitated and keep quiet. One day he did tell me that lifelong he needs to live with this past of me reminding him. But he has never understood the trauma I have gone through. I have just repressed it all along. Cut short 2024- there is lots of resentment with us. In 2022, I saw messages that he exchanged with another lady colleague on romantic songs , good morning messages and they would casually meet for lunch etc . This time I flew in rage and assumed he has cheated on me again. Told him first time I was a fool who didn't notice things right under my nose and now this is the latest. We had a big fight. I reminded him of his dirty past. At first he looked shocked from these allegations and told me he will clarify everything later. But next day in 2022 , when I asked him, he appeared to be a changed man and sounded more confident that he didn't do anything wrong. I pestered him to take me to office, we went to his office I met this lady and politely told her to stop sending good morning messages to my husband. I indirectly told her I have trust issues because of a past but did not elaborate. My husband who had taken me to the office , later was annoyed because apparently the woman colleague was annoyed about me coming to office and also mentioned about my trust issues. At this point this great husband spilt out to her that he had cheated on me. I never ever disclosed anything to her. Later he messaged me saying he was very annoyed and upset that I disclosed the dirty past to his colleague and if anything happens to his job he will never forgive me. I did tell him I never disclosed but he did not belive me. From 2022 until now we are almost in a silent divorce phase. We sleep in different bedroom and only communicate basic stuff on milk, curd , veggies etc He had never connected to me emotionally and would always get annoyed when I wld cry or show my frustrations. Now after all this he has literally cut me off emotionally. In this period from 2022-till now I did try to get back to normal but his vibes are very negative and disconnected. So even I too started distancing myself. During 2022, after the incident he had mentioned on how it is important to work, ve independent and how he favours open relationships ( non sexually). I was always working but earned lesser and used to depend on him a lot. Now I have changed in these 2 years, I have a better job and am not at all dependent on him emotionally, physically or mentally. Infact I pitch in to our household expenses.Our lives are totally disconnected and we there just for the kids. He cooks for all of us, I take care of remaining chores and help them in their studies . We don't attend family events and this has left many guessing on our status. I have lot of unresolved emotions and since he cannot process my emotions or least interested to hear me out I don't know when I will explode. I am just repressing my feelings and keeping a happy cheerful face for the family and kids. We even went for a vacation for kids sake where we just interacted with kids. Kids know things are not allright and pray for us together. I know this isn't healthy for me and I will invite psychosomatic issues in life later on. I am still attached to him and maybe once he expresses a sorry or a remorse and have a hope we can fall back in love again. Why can he never understand that emotional trauma that I have gone through Inspite of being loyal to him always. For once if he just uses kind words and apologises I will forever love him and forget everything.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Your husband perhaps is someone who is not great at conflict management; he finds it easier to avoid it and avoidance can mean that he hopes that it will go away or that you will stop talking about it or that he can find ways of actually pinning the blame on you for the way that he is feeling.
So, you will come across as nagging and may also feel guilty for asking him to listen to the way that you feel about the past incident. This is classic avoidance response from him that will make you wonder of you are actually wrong and at some point you may even start justifying his actions.
Repression is temporary; eventually all the emotions will collect themselves and hit back when you least expect it. If you want him to hear you and the way you have felt about his cheating, he will again get pushed into an avoidance mode. He has not learned any other way of handling conflicts. So, either you can go to couples counseling together OR you accept this side of him. Sounds too much to do, yeah? But how can you change a person who does not want to change. Some people also cannot express their love the way you have mentioned.
Since you still love him, I can only assume that the marriage holds a lot of significance for you. Then you can be happy only when he changes OR you accept him... which one seems more doable, start with that first...who knows if an external person like an expert can actually guide the two of you, things may fall in place!
I would also suggest requesting him for an honest chat where he is also in a space to LISTEN to you...try...

All the best!
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Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 06, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 01, 2024
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I am a 27 year old female. I am dating a guy for 10+ years, we have become too casual about each other. Its like our relationship has lost the spark after we left college. We are dragging our relationship just because we both arent ready to put efforts in finding new partners. Whenever we meet, we cuddle and sleep and havent had sex since last 2 years. Emotionally we are too close but physical intimacy is kindof lost. Since its time to get married. I am still unsure whether he as of now is the one for lifetime. Should we venture for new partners respectively or are we the one for each other. Please Suggest.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
If you have to ask "Are we the one for each other?" something must be going really wrong in the relationship. Moreover, you also mentioned dragging it, so reconsidering the relationship can't hurt. There is another option- you can try couple's therapy and get to the bottom of this detachment. It can be time; it happens to many long-term couples. Nothing comes without effort- you will have to work on it every day and explore new things to bring back the spark. If you don't want to let go of this relationship, try these suggestions. But to continue lugging it because this relationship is all too familiar and comfortable now is not the right decision. If it's okay with both of you, take a break and venture out for new partners. See how things pan out. The choice is yours. The only thing that I can confirm is that at this point, you should not rush into getting married and focus on sorting things out first.

Best Wishes.

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Dr Nagarajan J S K

Dr Nagarajan J S K   |153 Answers  |Ask -

Health Science and Pharmaceutical Careers Expert - Answered on Nov 06, 2024

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Career
My daughter has completed BSc in Life Science and Masters in Microbiology in June 2024. She is searching/applyin for jobs in pharma companies but no success Please guide
Ans: Hi Sir,

I am glad to hear that she has completed her MSc in Microbiology. Could you let me know what type of project she worked on during her final year? Additionally, what skills has she acquired during her postgraduate studies? While eligibility might be determined by her percentage, it's important to note that skills play a significant role in the job market.

Did she complete an internship in the pharma industry? Nowadays, many candidates claim to have experience, but often lack competency in their subjects.

One essential aspect is preparing her resume. She should highlight her skills, any internships she has completed, and the projects she worked on during her postgraduate program.

Industries are currently facing various challenges due to human resource issues, making them cautious in selecting candidates for specific roles.

I also recommend that she consider an internship at Biocon for six months. They have an academy focused on biotech-related training, and completing this prograHi Sir,

I am glad to hear that she has completed her MSc in Microbiology. Could you let me know what type of project she worked on during her final year? Additionally, what skills has she acquired during her postgraduate studies? While eligibility might be determined by her percentage, it's important to note that skills play a significant role in the job market.

Did she complete an internship in the pharma industry? Nowadays, many candidates claim to have experience, but often lack competency in their subjects.

One essential aspect is preparing her resume. She should highlight her skills, any internships she has completed, and the projects she worked on during her postgraduate program.

Industries are currently facing various challenges due to human resource issues, making them cautious in selecting candidates for specific roles.

I also recommend that she consider an internship at Biocon for six months. They have an academy focused on biotech-related training, and completing this program successfully may lead to a job at Biocon, depending on her performance.

All the best! m successfully may lead to a job at Biocon, depending on her performance.

All the best!

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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