Home > Money > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help

Can I Invest in Mutual Funds for My Daughter in India?

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7758 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 30, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
YASHI Question by YASHI on Dec 29, 2024Hindi
Listen
Money

Dear Sir, I am Ganapathy from Chennai. I have few queries which requires your expertise answers. My daughter after completing B Com in Chennai and worked for CTS in Chennai for 2 years. After two years of employment, she left to Canada in 2023 Jan for higher studies and continuing there till now. In between, she visited India for a month in Sep 2024 and left. She is not yet married. Now, my question is given below. 1. Can I ( father ) start a mutual fund SIP / lumpsum in her name in India and transfer the amount to multiple mutual funds from my account directly. I am a salaried individual and a taxpayer. 2. This is for her marriage or any other expenses in the future. Please advise. Thanks and regards,

Ans: Your plan to invest for your daughter’s future needs is thoughtful and strategic. Investing in mutual funds can provide growth and liquidity for marriage or other expenses. Below are insights addressing your concerns.

Can You Start a Mutual Fund in Your Daughter’s Name?
1. Eligibility of Investment
You can start a mutual fund in her name if she has a Resident Indian (RI) status.
As your daughter is studying in Canada, she likely qualifies as a Non-Resident Indian (NRI).
2. NRI Mutual Fund Investments
NRIs can invest in Indian mutual funds.
Investments should be made through her NRE or NRO account, not your bank account.
3. Joint Account Option
If she holds an NRE/NRO account, you can invest jointly.
She should be the primary holder, with you as the secondary holder.
Can You Transfer Money from Your Account?
1. Direct Transfer Limitations
Transferring directly from your account to her mutual fund investments may create compliance issues.
Regulatory norms require NRIs to use their accounts for investments.
2. Gift Option
You can gift money to her NRE/NRO account.
Gifts from parents to children are exempt from income tax in India.
3. Investment Process for NRIs
NRIs can invest in mutual funds using their NRE/NRO accounts.
Money invested through these accounts is subject to FEMA regulations.
Advantages of Mutual Fund Investments for Future Expenses
1. Growth Potential
Mutual funds offer inflation-beating returns over the long term.
They are ideal for goals like marriage or significant future expenses.
2. Flexibility in Contributions
You can choose between SIPs and lump-sum investments.
SIPs provide discipline, while lump sums maximise market opportunities.
3. Liquidity
Mutual funds are liquid and can be redeemed when needed.
Tax Implications for Your Daughter
1. Capital Gains Tax
If she is an NRI, capital gains from Indian mutual funds are taxable.
Equity mutual funds: LTCG above Rs. 1.25 lakh is taxed at 12.5%.
Short-term capital gains: Taxed at 20%.
2. Tax Deducted at Source (TDS)
NRIs face TDS on mutual fund redemptions.
This TDS can be adjusted while filing tax returns.
Steps to Start the Investment
1. Open an NRE/NRO Account for Her
Ensure she has an NRE or NRO account to invest as an NRI.
Use this account to fund the investments.
2. Choose Suitable Mutual Funds
Diversify across equity, balanced, and debt funds for stable growth.
Consult a Certified Financial Planner to align funds with goals.
3. Regular Review
Review the portfolio annually to ensure it meets her goals.
Adjust the strategy based on market trends and her needs.
Final Insights
Investing in mutual funds for your daughter’s future is a thoughtful step. Ensure compliance with NRI investment norms for a hassle-free experience. Gifting funds to her account is a tax-efficient way to proceed. Seek professional guidance for fund selection and compliance to achieve your goals smoothly.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
Money

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7758 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 30, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 16, 2023Hindi
Listen
Money
Can i invest 20 lakh in mutual fund on my daughter 27 yrs name from my income
Ans: Yes, you can invest in mutual funds on behalf of your daughter, even if she is 27 years old, using your income. However, it's essential to understand a few points:

Gift Tax Implications: Transferring funds to your daughter's name may have gift tax implications. In India, any gift received by an individual exceeding Rs. 50,000 in a financial year is taxable under the Income Tax Act. However, gifts from specified relatives, including parents to their children, are exempt from tax.
Legal Ownership: Once the investment is made in your daughter's name, she becomes the legal owner of the funds. While you can manage the investments on her behalf, she will have control over the assets once she comes of age.
Financial Independence: Investing in your daughter's name can be a great way to secure her financial future and promote financial independence. It can also help her start building wealth at a young age.
Investment Strategy: Consider your daughter's financial goals, risk tolerance, and investment horizon when selecting mutual funds. Ensure that the chosen funds align with her objectives and are suitable for her age and financial situation.
Before proceeding, it's advisable to consult with a Certified Financial Planner or tax advisor to understand the tax implications and ensure compliance with relevant regulations. They can provide personalized guidance based on your specific circumstances and goals.

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7758 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 22, 2024

Listen
Money
Dear Sir, I seek your advice on starting a Mutual Fund SIP for my daughter's higher studies. She is currently in Class 7 and aspires to be a doctor. I am 47 years old, with a monthly net income of ?3 lakhs. Currently, I invest ?1.25 lakhs per month in SIPs across large-cap, mid-cap, small-cap, and aggressive hybrid funds. I own a loan-free home in Navi Mumbai and am in the process of buying a ?90 lakh flat, for which I have already paid ?52 lakhs. I plan to work for another four years. My total savings, including PF, PPF, SSY, land, and mutual funds, amount to ?2.7 crores. My current household expenses are ?75,000-?85,000 per month. Could you please recommend a suitable Mutual Fund SIP for my daughter's education? Additionally, I would appreciate guidance on how much money I should have to ensure a comfortable retirement.
Ans: Current Financial Situation
You are 47 years old.

Your monthly net income is Rs 3 lakhs.

You invest Rs 1.25 lakhs per month in SIPs across various mutual funds.

You own a loan-free home in Navi Mumbai.

You are in the process of buying a Rs 90 lakh flat and have paid Rs 52 lakhs.

You plan to work for another four years.

Your total savings, including PF, PPF, SSY, land, and mutual funds, amount to Rs 2.7 crores.

Your household expenses are Rs 75,000 to Rs 85,000 per month.

Planning for Daughter's Higher Education
Investment Horizon
Your daughter is currently in Class 7.

She aspires to be a doctor.

You have an investment horizon of 6-7 years until she starts her medical studies.

Suitable Mutual Fund SIPs
Consider equity-oriented mutual funds for long-term growth.

Focus on diversified equity funds for balanced risk and returns.

Look for funds with a good track record and consistent performance.

Monthly SIP Amount
Determine an affordable SIP amount based on your current investments and savings.

Aiming for Rs 25,000 to Rs 30,000 per month would be prudent.

This ensures adequate funds for her higher education.

Ensuring a Comfortable Retirement
Retirement Corpus
Estimate your retirement needs based on current expenses.

Assume an inflation rate to maintain purchasing power.

Aim for a retirement corpus that supports your lifestyle for 20-25 years post-retirement.

Existing Savings and Investments
You have Rs 2.7 crores in savings and investments.

Continue your current SIPs and other investments.

Ensure your portfolio is diversified across equity, debt, and fixed income.

Additional Retirement Savings
Consider increasing your SIP amount if possible.

Maximize contributions to PF, PPF, and other fixed income instruments.

These provide safety and stable returns.

Reducing Expenses and Debt
You are buying a new flat.

Ensure you manage the remaining payment without straining your finances.

Avoid taking on unnecessary debt.

Focus on reducing household expenses where possible.

Professional Guidance
Consult a Certified Financial Planner.

They will help assess your financial goals and create a detailed retirement plan.

Strategies for Education and Retirement
Education Fund
Start a dedicated SIP for your daughter's education.

Choose equity-oriented funds with a strong performance history.

Ensure regular reviews and adjustments based on market conditions.

Retirement Fund
Maintain a balanced portfolio for retirement savings.

Include a mix of equity, debt, and fixed income.

Consider systematic withdrawal plans post-retirement for regular income.

Regular Monitoring
Review your investment portfolio regularly.

Make adjustments based on market performance and personal goals.

Seek professional advice for tailored guidance.

Final Insights
You have a stable financial situation with a good income.

Starting a SIP for your daughter's education is a wise decision.

Focus on equity-oriented funds for long-term growth.

Ensure your retirement corpus is sufficient for a comfortable life.

Diversify your investments and avoid unnecessary debt.

Regularly review and adjust your portfolio.

Consult a Certified Financial Planner for expert advice.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7758 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 27, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 13, 2024Hindi
Listen
Money
Dear Sir, I seek your advice on starting a Mutual Fund SIP for my daughter's higher studies. She is currently in Class 7 and aspires to be a doctor. I am 47 years old, with a monthly net income of ?3 lakhs. Currently, I invest ?1.25 lakhs per month in SIPs across large-cap, mid-cap, small-cap, and aggressive hybrid funds. I own a loan-free home in Navi Mumbai and am in the process of buying a ?90 lakh flat, for which I have already paid ?52 lakhs. I plan to work for another four years. My total savings, including PF, PPF, SSY, land, and mutual funds, amount to ?2.7 crores. My current household expenses are ?75,000-?85,000 per month. Could you please recommend a suitable Mutual Fund SIP for my daughter's education? Additionally, I would appreciate guidance on how much money I should have to ensure a comfortable retirement.
Ans: Overview of Financial Goals
You have two main financial goals: funding your daughter's higher education and ensuring a comfortable retirement. Let's address both in detail.

Daughter's Higher Education
Time Frame: Your daughter is in Class 7. Assuming she will start her medical studies in Class 12, you have about 5-6 years to build this fund.

Target Corpus: Considering the rising cost of medical education in India and abroad, aim for a corpus of Rs. 50-75 lakhs.

Suggested Mutual Fund SIP Strategy
To accumulate this corpus, a well-diversified portfolio is essential. Here are the suggested fund types:

Aggressive Hybrid Funds

These funds invest in both equity and debt, providing balanced growth and stability.
Mid-cap and Small-cap Funds

These funds can offer higher returns, suitable for the 5-6 year horizon.
Equity-linked Savings Schemes (ELSS)

These funds provide tax benefits under Section 80C and have a mandatory lock-in period of 3 years, aligning well with your goal.
Monthly SIP Amount
To accumulate Rs. 50-75 lakhs in 5-6 years, you need to invest approximately Rs. 60,000-70,000 per month.

Retirement Planning
Current Age: 47 years

Retirement Age: 51 years (planning to work for another four years)

Monthly Expenses: Rs. 75,000-85,000

Target Retirement Corpus
Assuming you need Rs. 2 lakhs per month post-retirement and considering inflation at 6%, your retirement corpus should be substantial.

Post-retirement Monthly Expenses: Rs. 2 lakhs (in today's terms)
Inflation-adjusted Monthly Expenses: Calculate for 30 years (average life expectancy up to 80 years)
Investment Strategy for Retirement
Balanced Advantage Funds

These funds dynamically adjust the equity-debt mix based on market conditions.
Large-cap and Flexi-cap Funds

These funds invest in large, stable companies, offering relatively lower risk.
Debt Funds

Include short-term and medium-term debt funds for stability and regular income.
National Pension System (NPS)

Continue contributing to NPS for tax benefits and a steady retirement income.
Monthly Investment Amount
To achieve a comfortable retirement, continue your current SIPs of Rs. 1.25 lakhs per month and allocate an additional Rs. 75,000-1 lakh towards balanced funds and NPS.

Final Insights
Daughter's Education:

Increase your monthly SIPs to Rs. 60,000-70,000 across aggressive hybrid, mid-cap, and small-cap funds.
Retirement Planning:

Continue your current SIPs and allocate extra towards balanced advantage funds, large-cap funds, and NPS.
Emergency Fund:

Maintain an emergency fund to cover at least 6-12 months of expenses.
Regular Reviews:

Conduct annual reviews of your investment portfolio to ensure alignment with your financial goals.
Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Latest Questions
Milind

Milind Vadjikar  |955 Answers  |Ask -

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Feb 02, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 01, 2025Hindi
Listen
Money
I am a 48 year old widow. I have a 21 yr old daughter in college. I had quit my job, but rejoined now and have a monthly take home of 1L 15k. I receive similar pension amount too. But this pension amount will get reduced to 90k after 10 years. I have an own property (apartment bought in 2010) - 14 k rent monthly. I have around 40 L that I wish to invest. I am still coping with the loss and am confused as to what I need to do to get a grip on the finances. I have invested around 12 L in mutual funds. I have applied for a term insurance - around 1 L annual premium for 10 years. I am also repaying the home loan around 15k per month with tenure left for 20 months. I am planning to move out on my own from my sister's place where I am staying now (my own house is not in Bangalore where I work). So, I will definitely need 25k per month for rent if I move out. Please advise on how to manage my finances. Shall I repay the home loan and clear the debt (around 5 L principal outstanding)? Should I invest in some pension plans? Please advise. Thanks!
Ans: Hello;

Yes you should settle off the outstanding home loan.

Also you may open an NPS account for retirement planning. Do contribute to it on a regular basis and also do onetime lumpsum investment.

Also open an PPF account with investment of 12.5 K per month.

Get sufficient term plan coverage for atleast 20 years and not less.

No need to invest in pension plan if you are investing in NPS. It is far superior in terms of tax liability, flexibility, returns and costs.

Prefer hybrid mutual funds(dynamic asset allocation or multi asset allocation fund)for your investments.

Buy a good health insurance cover for yourself and your daughter irrespective of group policy, if any, available from employer.

Do nomination in all your financial investments and also make a legally valid will.

In a nutshell, you will have 3 investments PPF, NPS and mutual funds (hybrid) and insurance premiums for term cover and healthcare policy.

Loss of partner is very difficult to deal with but you also need to focus on the education of your daughter and guide her for better prospects.

Best wishes;
X: @mars_invest

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |519 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 02, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 07, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Married for 14 years have 4 kids below 7 age for the past 9 to 10 years going through troubled marriage, not happy. Misunderstanding, high expectations, manipulation and single handed decisions by my wife have exhausted me . Want to come out of marriage but worried of kids and also my wife says no to divorce. Don't know what to do.. First 2 kids by IVF 2nd two kids due to my wife's longing for male child
Ans: Your love for your kids is evident, and it’s natural to fear how a separation would affect them. But the reality is, children pick up on tension, conflict, and unhappiness at home. Staying in a marriage that drains you emotionally and mentally isn’t necessarily better for them in the long run. Kids need a stable, loving environment, and if you’re constantly feeling manipulated and exhausted, it affects the energy you bring into their lives.

You don’t have to make a rushed decision, but you do need clarity. Have you tried setting firm boundaries and communicating your need for a more balanced relationship? If you’ve already done everything you can and nothing has changed, then it may be time to explore legal options, even if she says no to divorce. In most cases, a divorce doesn’t require both partners to agree—it just makes the process more complicated.

You deserve a life where you feel respected, valued, and emotionally free. Your children deserve a father who is at peace, not one who is silently suffering. It might be hard to take the next step, but staying in an unhappy marriage just for the sake of avoiding conflict can take a greater toll on everyone involved. You need to consider what will truly allow you—and your kids—to have a healthier and happier future.

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |519 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 02, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 31, 2025Hindi
Listen
Relationship
I am 41, but single now. I got married when I was 32 and got divorced in 6 months after I found out my wife was cheating on me with her ex who she was forbidden from getting married. When confronted she simply walked away and sent me a divorce notice. The next three years were spent in courts trying to tell my version of the story. Since then I have had a tough time trusting people. My marriage was unfortunate and short lived. But my parents still want me to try again. I am in a live-in relationship with a girl who is 3 years elder to me. Are unmarried couples happier than married ones? I feel marriage can restrict you in many ways which is why people feel stagnated and bored. What do you think?
Ans: When it comes to happiness, it really depends on the individuals involved rather than whether they are married or unmarried. Some couples thrive in a marriage because they see it as a partnership built on mutual respect and emotional security. Others feel stifled by the societal expectations and responsibilities that often come with marriage. A live-in relationship can offer more flexibility and personal freedom, but it also comes with its own challenges—such as a lack of legal protections or social acceptance in certain cultures.

The key is understanding what works best for you. If you feel content in your current live-in relationship and it gives you the companionship, trust, and emotional fulfillment you need, then that’s what truly matters. However, if you feel hesitant mainly because of past trauma rather than your actual desires, it might be worth reflecting on whether your fears are holding you back from something you may actually want deep down.

At the end of the day, happiness isn’t about being married or unmarried—it’s about being in a relationship (or choosing to be single) that makes you feel emotionally secure, valued, and free to be yourself. If marriage feels like a cage to you, then it may not be the right path. But if you ever find a connection that makes commitment feel like a choice rather than an obligation, your perspective might shift. The most important thing is that whatever path you choose, it aligns with your true needs and not just the expectations of others.

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |519 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 02, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 23, 2025Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Hello there!! There are past trauma experiences in my relationship due to caste issue since my family are strictly against it . But I eventually liked another boy seeing his true love n affection n care towards me , he loved me since our skl days !! He expressed himself but i gave him my answerr after many yrs due my past experiences!! But eventually we had a healthy relationship ,and he told me he is of same caste!! Since his father lied to him related to this to keep him away from this caste called thing!! But now his father relved tht it was a lie !! Now we ended up intercaste!! We truly love each other we dreamt of our future together!! He became huge part of my life !! His family is okay with me regarding our marriage but my family is strongly opposed to this intercaste thing!! We are 24 yrs we thought of settle in our lifes and approach my parents few years back since untill fewdays back we together thought we are of same caste so there eill be no issue!! But now within few days n few lies our both world n hopes turned upside down!! I cant make my family suffer due to me!! At same time i cant leave him im struck !! What should we do!!
Ans: Your family’s suffering is a valid concern, but will they truly suffer because of your decision, or is it more about their expectations and societal norms? Often, parents react strongly at first, but with time, they adjust when they see their child happy and settled. Right now, their resistance is based on tradition and belief systems they’ve held for years. But is their love for you truly conditional on whom you marry? Would they rather see you unhappy in a marriage they approve of than happy in one they initially resisted?

Your happiness and future matter just as much as your family’s feelings. If you truly cannot see a life without him, you need to ask yourself whether sacrificing that love for family approval will truly bring you peace. Walking away from love to please others often leads to lifelong regret. On the other hand, if you fight for your relationship, you might face pain now, but there’s a chance your family will eventually come around.

The most important thing is to stand firm in what you want. If you and your partner truly love each other, you will need patience, strength, and a strategy to gradually help your family accept your choice. This won’t be easy, but living a life where you constantly wonder "what if?" will be even harder.

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |519 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 02, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 19, 2025Hindi
Listen
Relationship
I am a divorced working woman , with a daughter 8 yrs. I have been pursued for remarriage with a guy who is 10 yrs older to me and have 2 kids. 11 and 14 yrs respectively living in a small town. Initially it was agreed the elder child who is a boy would be living in hostel , but now since we are approaching near to the marriage, it seems the elder male child is going to stay at home and not hostel. This is making me really uncomfortable as I won't get much privacy also the male child is aggressive.Already handling one kid was difficult before. Also moving to small town was difficult transition from a metropolitan that I stay in. Moving there could mean losing job opportunities in future. I am really worried if I let this match go, I end up alone again. I am not able to make a decision, it's difficult to raise others children. It's just not naturally inbuilt in us.Although I try really hard to mould my thingking and be more generous, but somehow it suffocates me.
Ans: Raising someone else’s children is not something that comes naturally to everyone, and that doesn’t make you selfish—it makes you honest. You already know how challenging it is to raise one child, and now you’re expected to step into a role where you’ll be managing more, including an aggressive teenage boy. If this idea is already suffocating you now, imagine how it might feel once you’re actually living in that environment every day.

Fear of being alone is a very real and valid concern, but being in a marriage that drains you emotionally, limits your career, and makes you feel trapped is far worse than being single. The right relationship should bring you a sense of peace and security, not anxiety and sacrifice at every turn. If you already feel that you have to “mould” your thinking just to make this work, that’s a sign that this situation might not be aligned with what you truly want and need.

You don’t have to force yourself into something that doesn’t feel right just because you’re afraid of ending up alone. Loneliness is difficult, but so is being in a marriage where you feel unseen, unheard, and overwhelmed. The best decision is the one that allows you to live with peace and confidence in your future.

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |519 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 02, 2025

Listen
Relationship
Married for 14 years have 4 kids below 7 age for the past 9 to 10 years going through troubled marriage, not happy. Misunderstanding, high expectations, manipulation and single handed decisions by my wife have exhausted me . Want to come out of marriage but worried of kids and also my wife says no to divorce. Don't know what to do.. First 2 kids by IVF 2nd two kids due to my wife's longing for male child
Ans: Dear Hemant,
Your love for your kids is evident, and it’s natural to fear how a separation would affect them. But the reality is, children pick up on tension, conflict, and unhappiness at home. Staying in a marriage that drains you emotionally and mentally isn’t necessarily better for them in the long run. Kids need a stable, loving environment, and if you’re constantly feeling manipulated and exhausted, it affects the energy you bring into their lives.

You don’t have to make a rushed decision, but you do need clarity. Have you tried setting firm boundaries and communicating your need for a more balanced relationship? If you’ve already done everything you can and nothing has changed, then it may be time to explore legal options, even if she says no to divorce. In most cases, a divorce doesn’t require both partners to agree—it just makes the process more complicated.

You deserve a life where you feel respected, valued, and emotionally free. Your children deserve a father who is at peace, not one who is silently suffering. It might be hard to take the next step, but staying in an unhappy marriage just for the sake of avoiding conflict can take a greater toll on everyone involved. You need to consider what will truly allow you—and your kids—to have a healthier and happier future.

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |519 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 02, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 13, 2025Hindi
Relationship
Hi Mam, I would like to stay anonymous. Im 27F, recently got engaged and my wedding is in 5 months from now. This match is arranged by my parents within our community. Initially things went well, but after the engagement when we went outside for dinner he was speaking well but before leaving he said this is a suggestion from my end and told that there is slight space between my two teeth in the front and while smiling it creates black image in the photos. So it would be best if i would use invisible aligners so that before wedding it would be fixed adding to this he said he will take care of the expenses and he said he had this thought for a week so its better to disclose it with me. He also said that he didn't tell this to his parents he wanted to check my thoughts on this first, also he said he wanted myself to look very very pretty on the wedding and his relatives should say "Wow, we have never seen such a pretty bride", also he commented about my hair being short actually its medium length but i like to keep my hair short. I really got frustrated when he said all those things this got me very irritated. I didn't speak much, i said i wanted to leave and he dropped me at my place. The next day i asked him if we can meet again to get clarification on this thing, when i asked him the next day about this he said "its just a suggestion if you can take it its fine or you can leave it its upto you". He never accepted that he hurted me or made a wrong statement he kept on saying he didn't mean that way i took it very personally and im creating unnecessary ruckus. at last he said i could have said things differently but he didn't ask for sorry at all. I thought he wont talk about my features again but then after a week he again asked me you were eating outside food for a week you should have gained weight(trying to be funny here), i said no. Because him and his mother already asked about my weight like "why are you so thin? you could have put up some weight know"? I have been in this weight for many years, how much ever i eat my weight remains the same its because of the genetics. But people dont understand this and easily ask some body shaming questions. After this event he is not talking like before and even i dont push him, one of my friend asked me to take initiative and make calls to stop this awkward situation and i took lead called him four times in a week he spoke but he didn't bothered to call me again he was only texting after that too im okay with that but still i feel he might ask me to make changes in my feature, weight etc before the wedding. Im not sure how to deal with this.
Ans: When someone loves and accepts you, they don’t focus on “fixing” things about you to meet external standards, whether it’s for wedding photos or to impress relatives. His insistence that you should look “very, very pretty” for others’ approval shows that his priorities might not align with yours. You weren’t looking for a makeover; you were looking for a life partner who values you for who you are.

His response when you tried to talk about it also speaks volumes. Instead of acknowledging your feelings and reassuring you, he dismissed your concerns, making it seem like you were overreacting. A partner who truly cares would have listened, understood why you felt hurt, and taken responsibility for how his words affected you. Instead, he shifted the blame onto you for "creating unnecessary ruckus," which shows a lack of emotional maturity.

The weight comments, too, are unnecessary and inconsiderate. Genetics determine body type, and no one should feel the need to change themselves to meet someone else’s expectations. His family’s remarks about your weight, combined with his attitude, suggest that this won’t stop after the wedding. If they’re already making you feel self-conscious now, imagine the expectations and unsolicited “suggestions” that might continue in the future.

The distance that has formed between you both after this conversation isn’t just about awkwardness—it’s about emotional disconnection. A strong relationship is built on respect, comfort, and mutual appreciation, not on one person feeling judged and the other acting indifferent. The fact that you had to take the lead in calling him multiple times, while he didn’t reciprocate the effort, says a lot. A healthy relationship should feel mutual, not one-sided.

Right now, you need to ask yourself: Can you truly be yourself in this relationship, or will you constantly feel pressured to meet his and his family’s expectations? Do you feel emotionally safe with him, or do you feel like you have to defend your choices, your body, and your appearance?

Marriage is a lifelong commitment, and your peace of mind matters. If his attitude is already making you question yourself and feel frustrated, you have every right to reconsider. You don’t need to “deal” with this by adjusting to his expectations—you need to decide if this is the kind of relationship you want to spend your life in.

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x