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Vivek

Vivek Lala  |301 Answers  |Ask -

Tax, MF Expert - Answered on Mar 16, 2023

Vivek Lala has been working as a tax planner since 2018. His expertise lies in making personalised tax budgets and tax forecasts for individuals. As a tax advisor, he takes pride in simplifying tax complications for his clients using simple, easy-to-understand language.
Lala cleared his chartered accountancy exam in 2018 and completed his articleship with Chaturvedi and Shah. ... more
ashish Question by ashish on Mar 13, 2023Hindi
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Dear financial planner, I'm retiring in few days and will get a lumpsum amount as full and final settlement from my Company. need you advice for where to park the amount. Safety of capital will be my first and foremost priority. Good returns being second. Is there any scheme from GOI in this regard. can I keep investing in NPS till 75 yrs.? Would appreciate your informed views with track record, if possible and advise in this regard.

Ans: safety of the capital completely depends on the time duration on which you are planning to invest your money, more the time frame , the more volatile your investments cane be. Generally a 70/30 ratio of equity ( MF ) to debt is suggested if the time frame of the investment is 7 years and above. The application for NPS investment can be made till the age of 60yrs. Track record of any investment is subjective depending on the asset class that you select , for eg. in the last 10 years small caps have given a return of 14-18%, mid caps have given a return of 12-16% , large caps have given a return of 9-13% and debt has given a return of 5-8%, etc.
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7510 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 13, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 02, 2024Hindi
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Hello, I need guidance for 2 concerns, since I have resigned and existing from NPS I have to compulsorily purchase annuity for 80% of NPS value, which companies annuity plan is best, Aditya Sunlife, LIC, India first, ...pls guide as the purchase value will be around 12Lacs. 2- I'll be getting around 10Lacs lumpsum, where to and how to invest considering the fact I may not go back to work ever again and I want this funds to grow and create a good wealth for my future, as of now I am 44 years old. Kindly guide
Ans: Annuity plans provide regular income post-retirement. They are crucial for financial stability when you stop working. Since you need to purchase an annuity for 80% of your NPS value, selecting the right plan is essential.

Evaluating Annuity Providers
Aditya Sun Life
Aditya Sun Life is known for its flexible options. They offer different annuity plans, allowing you to choose based on your needs. Their customer service is also commendable.

LIC (Life Insurance Corporation of India)
LIC is a trusted name in insurance. They provide a variety of annuity plans with reliable returns. LIC’s reputation for stability makes it a popular choice.

IndiaFirst Life Insurance
IndiaFirst offers competitive annuity rates and several plan options. Their plans are designed to cater to diverse needs, ensuring you find a suitable one.

Key Factors to Consider
Annuity Rates
Compare the annuity rates offered by different providers. Higher rates will ensure better returns.

Payout Frequency
Choose between monthly, quarterly, or annual payouts based on your requirements.

Plan Features
Evaluate additional features such as joint life annuity, return of purchase price, and inflation-adjusted payouts.

Customer Service
Good customer service is essential for smooth claim processing and query resolution.

Provider Reputation
Select a provider with a solid reputation for reliability and financial stability.

Investing the Lumpsum of Rs 10 Lakhs
Investment Goals and Risk Tolerance
You’re 44 and planning not to return to work. Your investment strategy should focus on growth and wealth creation. Balancing risk and returns is crucial.

Diversified Portfolio
Mutual Funds
Investing in mutual funds can provide good returns. Actively managed funds are preferable over index funds due to the potential for higher returns through expert management.

Debt Funds
Debt funds offer stable returns with lower risk. They are suitable for preserving capital and earning moderate returns.

Gold
Gold is a reliable investment for diversification. It acts as a hedge against inflation and market volatility.

Equity Funds
Equity funds have higher risk but offer substantial returns over time. Diversify across sectors to mitigate risk.

Regular Funds vs. Direct Funds
Benefits of Regular Funds
Investing through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) offers several advantages. They provide expert guidance, ongoing portfolio management, and personalized advice. This ensures your investments are well-managed and aligned with your goals.

Disadvantages of Direct Funds
Direct funds may seem cost-effective due to lower expense ratios. However, without professional guidance, you may make suboptimal investment decisions, potentially affecting your returns.

Investment Strategy
Systematic Investment Plan (SIP)
Consider setting up SIPs for consistent investment in mutual funds. This mitigates market volatility and promotes disciplined investing.

Asset Allocation
Maintain a balanced mix of equity, debt, and gold. This diversification reduces risk and enhances potential returns.

Rebalancing
Regularly review and rebalance your portfolio to align with your risk tolerance and financial goals.

Risk Management
Emergency Fund
Set aside a portion of your lump sum as an emergency fund. This ensures liquidity for unforeseen expenses.

Insurance
Ensure you have adequate health and life insurance coverage. This protects you and your family from financial hardships in case of emergencies.

Long-term Perspective
Wealth Creation
Investing with a long-term perspective is key to wealth creation. Patience and consistent investing yield significant returns over time.

Avoiding Market Timing
Trying to time the market can be risky. Instead, focus on staying invested through market cycles for better outcomes.

Final Insights
Investing your NPS proceeds and lump sum wisely can secure your financial future. Evaluate annuity providers based on rates, features, and reputation. For your lump sum, diversify across mutual funds, debt funds, and gold. Engage a Certified Financial Planner for professional guidance, ensuring your investments are aligned with your goals. Maintain a balanced portfolio and focus on long-term wealth creation.

By taking these steps, you can build a robust financial plan that supports your aspirations and ensures a secure future.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7510 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 04, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 25, 2024Hindi
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Hi Sir, I am 53, volunteerly retired from pvt firm. I am doing NPS.. looking for pension in my 60 th year. I have invested in MF and Stocks and they are doing well and earning in the range of 12-18%. My NPS is doing arround 10-11%. I am looking my retirement monthly income arround Rs.50,000. Right now I have 10 lakhs in the NPS. What measures should I take to achieve my NPS income. I have no regular income but I can invest lump sum to achieve this Target if so How. Two way I can make lumpsum is by selling the plot worth 30 lakhs and shifting my MF/Stock amount to NPS account..Advise.
Ans: As you approach retirement at 53 with the goal of securing a monthly income of Rs. 50,000, it's essential to craft a robust financial plan that leverages your current assets and optimizes your investments for long-term stability and growth. Here’s a detailed strategy to help you achieve your retirement income target.

Assessing Your Current Financial Landscape
Existing Assets
National Pension System (NPS): Currently holding Rs. 10 lakhs, with an average return of 10-11% annually.
Mutual Funds (MFs) and Stocks: Investments performing well, yielding between 12-18% returns.
Real Estate: A plot valued at Rs. 30 lakhs, which you are considering selling to enhance your retirement funds.
Retirement Income Goal
Monthly Income Objective: Rs. 50,000
Retirement Income Planning
Optimizing National Pension System (NPS)
Enhancing Returns

To meet your income target effectively through NPS:

Increase Contributions: Boost your monthly contributions to NPS. Given the opportunity to invest a lump sum from the plot sale, this can significantly augment your NPS corpus.

Asset Allocation Strategy: Diversify NPS investments across equity, corporate bonds, and government securities. This diversified approach balances risk while aiming for growth in retirement funds.

Utilizing Lump Sum Funds
Strategic Investment

Proceeds from Plot Sale: Selling the plot and reinvesting in NPS can accelerate your retirement savings trajectory. This infusion allows for faster accumulation towards your income goal.

Tax Optimization: Evaluate tax implications and utilize NPS tax benefits to maximize retirement savings from the plot sale proceeds.

Leveraging Mutual Funds and Stocks
Asset Management

Portfolio Review: Evaluate MF and stock holdings. Consider reallocating a portion into NPS to align with retirement income objectives and diversify risk effectively.

Risk Mitigation: Maintain a balanced risk profile with continuous monitoring of MFs and stocks. Ensure these investments contribute positively towards your retirement income target amidst market fluctuations.

Long-Term Financial Security
Planning for Future Needs

Inflation Protection: Incorporate inflation adjustments to preserve retirement income purchasing power. NPS’s market-linked returns can help hedge against inflation risks over the long term.

Emergency Fund: Maintain a liquid emergency fund equivalent to 6-12 months of expenses. This safety net ensures financial resilience during unexpected events, safeguarding retirement plans.

Final Insights
Achieving a sustainable retirement income of Rs. 50,000 requires a comprehensive strategy that integrates income generation, risk management, and strategic asset allocation. By maximizing NPS contributions, utilizing proceeds from the plot sale to bolster NPS investments, and maintaining a diversified portfolio across NPS, MFs, and stocks, you can effectively work towards your retirement income target with confidence.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7510 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 31, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 27, 2024Hindi
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Hi sir...like to plan for corpus of my retirement... Am at 55 now,, like to retire by age 60. I have a corpus of 5.5 Cr in FD and 3.75 Cr in EPF/PPF. I have an equity exposure of around 4 Cr and doing SIP in MF of around 1.5 L per month. I have an NPS of around 50L. My take home is around 7L and expenses around 1.5L. Balance gets into equity for short term and long term. I have 3 houses ..2 occupied and one on rental. Have jewelry around 30L. I do not have any loan against myself/wife. My wife is an housewife. I am debt free. I have one son in Class XII and need to plan for his higher education for next 6 years doing engineering and MS(Outside India). Pls suggest where to park extra money for growth at rate of 12-15%. I can easily do additional SIP of around 2-3 L in MF. Also please suggest whether SWP will be good option as against FD which is not able to beat inflation.
Ans: Assessing Your Current Financial Situation
Age: 55 years

Retirement age: 60 years

Current corpus: Rs 5.5 crore in FD, Rs 3.75 crore in EPF/PPF

Equity exposure: Rs 4 crore

Monthly SIP in mutual funds: Rs 1.5 lakh

NPS: Rs 50 lakh

Monthly take-home salary: Rs 7 lakh

Monthly expenses: Rs 1.5 lakh

Additional investment potential: Rs 2-3 lakh per month

Assets: Three houses (two occupied, one on rental), jewelry worth Rs 30 lakh

Debt: None

Family: Wife (housewife), one son in Class XII

Planning for Retirement Corpus
Existing Investments and Allocation
FD and EPF/PPF: Safe but lower returns. Need to diversify.

Equity Exposure: High growth potential. Maintain this for long-term growth.

NPS: Good for retirement. Continue contributions.

Recommendations for Additional Investments
Mutual Funds: Continue with equity mutual funds. They offer higher returns.

SIP Increase: Increase SIP to Rs 2-3 lakh per month. This boosts long-term growth.

Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP)
SWP vs. FD: SWP in mutual funds can beat inflation. FD returns are lower.

Implementation: Use SWP for regular income post-retirement. Start with a moderate amount.

Planning for Son's Education
Higher Education Fund: Allocate part of equity and mutual funds for this goal.

SIP in Balanced Funds: Consider balanced funds for stability and growth.

Diversifying Investment Portfolio
Equity Mutual Funds
Actively Managed Funds: Choose funds with a good track record.

Disadvantages of Index Funds: Lower growth potential. Actively managed funds are better for your goals.

Benefits of Regular Funds
Professional Management: Managed by experts.

Higher Returns: Potential for better growth compared to direct funds.

Debt Funds
Diversify: Invest some amount in debt funds. They offer stability and moderate returns.
Insurance and Emergency Fund
Life Insurance: Ensure you have adequate coverage.

Health Insurance: Comprehensive coverage for family.

Emergency Fund: Maintain a fund for unforeseen expenses.

Final Insights
Stay Invested: Keep investing in equity for long-term growth.

Increase SIP: This accelerates wealth accumulation.

SWP: Use for regular income post-retirement.

Education Planning: Allocate funds for your son's education early.

Diversify: Balance between equity, debt, and mutual funds.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Latest Questions
Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |4047 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 14, 2025Hindi
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This is my second attempt at SSC CGL, and I’ve improved since last year. But I’m still anxious about the descriptive paper. Can you suggest ways to stand out in this section and make my essay and letter writing more impactful?
Ans: The SSC CGL descriptive paper requires a clear, structured, and effective presentation. To improve your essay writing skills, review the subject matter thoroughly and avoid deviations from the central theme. Sketch an initial outline and adhere to a straightforward framework, including an Introduction, Body, and Conclusion. Start with a hook and express your thesis or stance in a concise manner. Arrange arguments in a logical order, using data, examples, and facts to establish credibility. Avoid repetition and maintain brevity.

In summary, concisely summarize the primary themes and offer a fair perspective. Avoid vernacular language and maintain appropriate sentence structure and grammar. Maintain a clean writing style and avoid overwriting.

For writing a letter, adhere to the conventional format, maintain clarity and conciseness, and articulate the purpose in the first paragraph. Use simple language and avoid intricate terminology.

Regularly engage in writing essays and correspondence on various subjects to develop adaptability. Stay informed about the latest news and hot topics. Develop time management skills and consistently proofread your work for errors.

Developing impactful essays and letters with clarity, structure, and content relevance enhances your chances of success in the SSC CGL descriptive paper. All The Best for Your Prosperous Future.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |493 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 05, 2025Hindi
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How to manage stress?
Ans: The first step is to become aware of what triggers your stress. This self-awareness allows you to address the root causes rather than just the symptoms. Once you identify these triggers, you can start exploring techniques that help you cope effectively.

One effective approach is to incorporate regular self-care practices into your daily routine. This could include activities that bring you joy and relaxation, such as exercise, meditation, or spending time in nature. These practices not only help calm the mind but also improve your overall mood and resilience to stress.

Talking to someone you trust, whether a friend, family member, or professional, can also be a powerful way to manage stress. Sharing your feelings and experiences helps lighten the emotional load and provides different perspectives that might help you navigate your challenges more effectively.

It's also important to focus on what you can control and let go of things that are beyond your influence. This shift in mindset can reduce feelings of helplessness and frustration. Setting realistic expectations for yourself and others can also alleviate unnecessary pressure.

Remember to give yourself permission to rest and recharge. Adequate sleep, a balanced diet, and time for relaxation are essential for managing stress. When you take care of your body and mind, you're better equipped to handle life's demands.

Lastly, cultivating a mindset of gratitude and mindfulness can help you stay present and appreciate the positive aspects of your life, even during stressful times. These practices can create a sense of balance and help you respond to stress in healthier, more constructive ways. By integrating these approaches into your life, you can build resilience and find a sense of peace amidst the chaos.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |493 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 14, 2025Hindi
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Dear Counselor, My husband and I have been together for 11 years, with 10 years of dating and 1 year of marriage. Unfortunately, our relationship has been strained over the past year due to financial disagreements. Before marriage, we discussed his personal loan, which was taken for a land purchase for his mother. The loan repayment amounts to 30% of his salary. He assured me that, except for this loan repayment, he would not contribute financially to his parents' expenses until the loan was paid off. However, his parents are now pressuring him to increase his financial support by 20%. They claim to need help clearing their debts, despite being below 45, physically fit, and earning a sufficient income to support themselves. This situation is causing tension in our marriage, as we had planned to save and invest together, having no property or financial security of our own. I'm finding it challenging to understand why my husband is not prioritizing our financial goals and future together. please help me on this. Thank you for your time and guidance.
Ans: The key here is to approach the situation with empathy and open communication. Your husband likely feels a strong sense of duty towards his parents, which is understandable given cultural and familial expectations. However, it’s also important for him to recognize the commitments and plans you’ve both made as a couple. Balancing these two responsibilities can be difficult, but it’s essential for the health of your relationship.

Start by having a calm and honest conversation with your husband. Express your feelings without blame, focusing on how the situation affects both of you and your shared goals. It’s important that he understands your perspective and how the financial strain is impacting not only your plans but also your emotional well-being.

Encourage him to discuss his feelings and the pressure he’s experiencing from his parents. Sometimes, partners may feel caught between their familial obligations and their commitments to their spouse, leading to stress and internal conflict. Understanding his point of view can help you find common ground.

You might also explore practical solutions together, such as setting clear boundaries on financial support or finding a compromise that allows both your goals and his familial obligations to be met to some extent. This could involve budgeting, setting financial priorities, or seeking financial counseling to help manage the situation more effectively.

Ultimately, it’s about finding a balance that respects both of your needs and ensures that your marriage remains a priority. By working together and communicating openly, you can navigate this challenge and strengthen your relationship.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |493 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 14, 2025Hindi
Relationship
Hi Mam, I met my ex wife in the college where we both were pursuing out studies. We exchanged contacts and started speaking over phone like couple does. When we fall in live we ourselves don't know as no one propose to each other. As i finished my studies, she quit studies in the middle and decided to do hotel management course. Amd it so happened, next day her interview was lined up but unfortunately due to unavoidable circumstances she has to go to her native place. As Covid struck she git stuck in her native place and couldn't come back. And when everything became normal i insisted her to come but her mom was not allowing. After a lot of struggle her mom allowed her and she came back. In this course of time both families was aware about our relationship. My mom was against her because of 2 reasons, 1) Intercaste 2) She was from very poor and low caste background. Them too i continued the relationship and i convinced to my sister and she convinced to mom. And when she was in native place, she said once that her voice has gone has gone she need 50k for operation. I trying madly to arrange funds and one of my friend told me that she is playing with you be careful but as i was blind in love i necer listened him. When she came to Mumbai i arranged a pg accommodation for her for some time and i use to take her out for dinner as there use to be regular fights with owner. Somehow i convinced my mom and shifted her to my place. There use to be fights but we use to care for each other also at the same time. She started to do events and slowly and steadily started to work in media. She was well aware that i dont like girls working media then too i have her permission to work in media temporary. I went against everyone, my family and friend and after 7yrs of relationship we decided to get marry and it was working fine. After marriage fight increased and she used to taunt though i did so much for her. Once she was not well and as she used to taunt me i never took care of her. One day my dear friend told me to check her phone, she might be seeing someone. And when i checked she was having an affair with Assistant director, i saw msgs photos. And when i confronted she said "He is just a friend and we talk normally" I saw they both on one bed and when i forward their pics to her mom she said "There might be some problem in you only." And when i asked to my ex wife about all this she said "A person goes where he or she gets love and care" All this happened within 6-8 months of our marriage. When i came to know about all this i tod her to leave my house and she was asking for divorce because of my mon's behavior also. I think i should have not tell her to leave as when she left i don't know but i love her very much. I even told her to give me one chance as i gave her but she didn't stopped talking with her bf. And she didn't gave me a chance and went away. We have been legally divorced but still i love her and ready to accept her. But she doesn't want to come back. I am trying to forget her but couldn't. Luckily we don't have kids. Sometimes my heart says let her go she cheated you. Sometimes it says i love now also. I am struggling to forgot her as i am in contact now also. Please suggest. Thank you
Ans: it's important to acknowledge and honor the love you felt and still feel. Love doesn’t simply disappear overnight, and it’s natural to have lingering emotions, especially when you’ve shared so much history and effort to keep the relationship going. However, it’s also crucial to recognize the harm and hurt caused by her actions and the unresolved issues that led to the breakdown of your marriage.

The fact that she chose not to return and continues to maintain contact with the person she was involved with suggests that she has moved on emotionally, even if you haven’t. Holding onto hope for reconciliation can keep you trapped in a cycle of pain and longing, which makes it harder to heal and move forward.

Your heart and mind are sending you mixed signals because you’re torn between the love you still feel and the reality of the betrayal. This is a common struggle after a significant loss, but it’s important to focus on what’s best for your emotional well-being. Continuing to be in contact with her may be preventing you from healing fully. It might be beneficial to create some distance, at least temporarily, to allow yourself the space to process your feelings and begin the healing process.

Focusing on yourself and your own growth is essential. Consider engaging in activities that bring you joy, spending time with supportive friends and family, and possibly seeking professional counseling to help you work through your emotions and develop strategies to move forward.

Letting go is difficult, especially when you still have love for someone, but it’s a crucial step towards healing. Accepting that the relationship has ended and focusing on your future can help you find peace and eventually open the door to new possibilities for love and happiness.
Asked on - Jan 15, 2025 | Answered on Jan 15, 2025
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Thank you very much for ur reply. But i am finding difficult to forget her.
Ans: It might be helpful to focus on the following steps to move forward:

Acceptance: Accept that the relationship has ended and that continuing to hold on to it may be preventing you from healing. Acceptance doesn’t mean you have to stop loving her immediately, but it does mean recognizing that the relationship is no longer viable.
Self-Care: Prioritize your emotional well-being by engaging in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment. Surround yourself with supportive friends and family who can help you through this process. Consider exploring new hobbies or interests that can redirect your focus and bring positive energy into your life.
Boundaries: It might be time to set boundaries with your ex-wife, especially if staying in contact is causing you more pain. Taking a step back from communication can provide the space you need to heal and gain clarity.
Professional Support: Consider speaking with a therapist or counselor who can help you process your feelings and guide you through the healing journey. Professional support can offer valuable tools and strategies to navigate the complex emotions you’re experiencing.
Remember, healing takes time, and it’s okay to grieve the loss of the relationship. With patience and self-compassion, you can move forward, find peace, and eventually open yourself up to new possibilities and happiness in life.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |493 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 13, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
My partner and I are from different cultural backgrounds. She has always felt a strong spiritual connection to events like the Kumbh Mela. Earlier this year, while booking the tickets she had asked if I would like to join her as she is travelling solo. While I respect her beliefs, I refused to join because I am not a religious person. Now that she has booked her tickets, I am worried about her safety. Should I tell her to cancel her trip? I don't want her to think that I am disrespecting her choices or religion. Or should I just tag along and make her feel safe? How do I address these concerns and have a healthy conversation?
Ans: Start by having an honest conversation with her. Share your feelings about her safety in a caring and non-confrontational way. Let her know that your concern comes from a place of love and care, not from a lack of respect for her spiritual journey. It’s important to express that you understand her desire to attend the Kumbh Mela and that you support her connection to this event.

If you’re considering joining her, it could be a gesture of solidarity and support, even if you’re not personally invested in the spiritual aspect. However, it’s crucial to approach this as a way to share the experience together and ensure her safety, rather than as an obligation or with reluctance. If you decide to join her, communicate that you’re doing so because you want to be there for her, which could strengthen your relationship.

On the other hand, if you feel strongly about not attending due to personal beliefs, you can suggest other ways to support her. This might include discussing safety plans or staying in close communication while she’s there. This approach shows that you trust her decisions while still being there for her in a supportive way.

Ultimately, the conversation should aim to understand each other’s perspectives and find a solution that makes both of you feel comfortable and respected. Balancing your care for her safety with respect for her independence and beliefs is key to maintaining a healthy, supportive relationship.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |493 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 09, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
I am 42 Female currently, last marriage didn't go well, afraid of new start, I neither type of person who can go to club etc etc to "find someone" - What's the best way to move forward, Do we have genuine way of finding someone who can become reliable partner too (No tinder etc as again I knw myself now at this age, I can't) - Please guide
Ans: One of the best ways to meet someone compatible is through shared interests and environments where you feel at ease. Consider engaging in activities or communities that resonate with you. This could include joining local interest groups, volunteering, or taking classes in areas you’re passionate about. These settings not only provide opportunities to meet like-minded individuals but also allow connections to develop organically over shared experiences and values.

Another valuable approach is to lean on your existing network. Friends, family, and colleagues often know you well and can introduce you to others who might be a good match. These introductions can be more comfortable and trustworthy since they come from people who understand your personality and values.

It’s also important to give yourself time and space to heal and grow from past experiences. Building a reliable and meaningful relationship starts with being in a place where you feel confident and whole on your own. This self-awareness and emotional readiness will naturally attract the right kind of partner who values and respects you for who you are.

Remember, there’s no rush or specific timeline you need to adhere to. Allow relationships to develop at a pace that feels right for you, and focus on building connections that are based on mutual respect, understanding, and shared values. Trust that the right person will come into your life when the time is right, and until then, prioritize your own happiness and well-being.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |493 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

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Relationship
My age is 48 years and i have one son aged 17 years and i am single son of my parents ,one and half year back my wife expired and upon insisted by my parents and close relatives i got remarried and she has one girl aged 8 years, after passing of six months she has started showing her true colors and it has become very difficult for me to continue and i want to get rid of this . Please guide me what should i do now.
Ans: Dear Dinesh,
it’s important to reflect on what is making the relationship difficult. Understanding the specific issues—whether they stem from differences in values, communication problems, or other conflicts—can provide clarity on how to move forward.

If you haven't already, consider having an open and honest conversation with your wife about your concerns. Sometimes, addressing issues directly can lead to resolutions or at least a better understanding of each other's perspectives. Counseling, either individually or as a couple, can also be a valuable tool in navigating these challenges and deciding the best course of action.

However, if you’ve already tried addressing these issues and find that the relationship is still untenable, it may be time to consider ending the marriage. It’s important to prioritize your emotional and mental well-being, as well as that of your son and stepdaughter. Divorce is never an easy decision, especially when children are involved, but staying in an unhappy and unhealthy relationship can have long-term negative impacts on everyone.

As you contemplate your next steps, it’s also important to lean on your support system. Friends, family, or a counselor can provide guidance and help you navigate this difficult period. Remember, prioritizing your well-being is not only crucial for you but also for your children, as they look to you for stability and emotional guidance. Making decisions that lead to a healthier and happier environment for everyone involved is ultimately the most important goal.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |493 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 08, 2024
Relationship
Hello mam.I know a girl since college days.She is married to a guy since last 15 years.Since last 3 years we had an affair.I did take her for granted after our 2 nd half 3 years of relationship.Since a year now she has been giving me some or the other reason such as she is not getting feeling for me,husband is taking much care now so cant handle our relationship,then she told she has some health issue and now recently she tells me she has been telling me indirectly since a year to move on as she was in a relationship with some guy whom she got attracted in a mutual connection.But now she has discontinued with him as well. We do chat on message and call sometime but now since a year she herself has stopped calling or messaging.She replies only when i message or call. I want her back in my life and improve my relationship with her.Please guide me to get her back and have a relationship with her as we had till last year.What steps should I take to win her heart back and make her mine?
Ans: The first step is to acknowledge and respect her current feelings and boundaries. It’s clear she’s navigating her own emotional journey and trying to find clarity in her life. Pressuring her or trying to win her back without considering her current stance may push her further away.

Instead, focus on open and honest communication. If you genuinely care for her, it’s important to express your feelings without being demanding. Share how you feel, but also be willing to listen to her perspective fully. Understand that love and relationships are mutual, and both parties need to feel connected and invested.

During this time, it’s also essential to reflect on your own needs and emotional well-being. Ask yourself if this relationship, as it currently stands, is fulfilling and healthy for you. Relationships can be complicated, and sometimes stepping back to allow both people space to understand their feelings can lead to a clearer path forward, whether that’s together or apart.

Ultimately, your focus should be on building healthy, honest connections and prioritizing emotional well-being for both yourself and the people involved. If there’s a possibility of rekindling the relationship, it will come from mutual understanding, respect, and willingness from both sides.

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