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I'm 29, unmarried, earning 1.2 lakh/month & planning to buy a 1cr house. How can I build a 1cr liquid corpus by 50 & save for children's education?

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6991 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 16, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jul 06, 2024Hindi
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I am earning 1.2 lakh per month. Age 29 unmarried, Money for marriage is adjusted.I have a house and planning to buy another one probably 1cr . An lic policy of yearly premium of 25k. My savings are 5 lakhs. As of now I can invest 40k per month. I want liquid corpus of 1cr by age 50 and children education planning.

Ans: Monthly Income and Savings
You earn Rs. 1.2 lakh per month.

You save Rs. 40,000 per month.

You have Rs. 5 lakhs in savings.

Your LIC policy has a yearly premium of Rs. 25,000.

Investment Goals
You want Rs. 1 crore by age 50.

You plan for your children's education.

You plan to buy a house worth Rs. 1 crore.

Investment Strategy
Invest in a mix of equity and debt funds.

Focus on actively managed funds for better returns.

Consider SIPs for regular investments.

Liquid Corpus Goal
Aim for a diversified portfolio.

Allocate funds to equity for growth.

Include debt funds for stability.

Children's Education Planning
Start early to benefit from compounding.

Invest in children's plans and education funds.

Review and adjust the portfolio regularly.

House Purchase Plan
Ensure your investments align with your house purchase goal.

Keep your house purchase timeline in mind.

Insurance and Savings
Review your LIC policy for adequacy.

Consider additional term insurance if needed.

Professional Guidance
A Certified Financial Planner can help optimize your plan.

Regularly review your portfolio with your planner.

Final Insights
Maintain a disciplined investment approach.

Regularly review and adjust your goals.

Seek professional advice when needed.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6991 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 03, 2024

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Dear Sir, I am 44 yrs old with wife and 2 kids of age 9&11.I have been investing my money into the following sectors over the last few years back. 1.LIC and SBI money back policies of 8.5L and will be mature in 2034. 2.Life cover for self of 50L has to pay till 2047 annually of 20K. 3.Max life ULIP plan SA 6L mature in 2031. 4.Family floater Health I surance of 5L 4.HDFC life click 2I combo plan invest of 9L 5.SSA till date for both children 1L each 5.SIP of 20K since last 4.5yrs monthly 6.SIP lumpsum of 1L invested in Axis medium cap fund invested 4yrs back My question is to secure my child education and retirement life after 55 yrs , corpus should be 2 Crore what else I have to do
Ans: It's commendable that you've been diligently planning for your family's future. Your commitment to securing your children's education and ensuring a comfortable retirement is truly admirable.

Considering your current investments, it's essential to evaluate if they align with your long-term goals. While your existing plans offer some protection and potential growth, diversifying your portfolio could provide added stability and growth potential. Have you explored avenues beyond traditional insurance policies and mutual funds?

Certified Financial Planners can offer personalized strategies tailored to your aspirations and risk tolerance. They can suggest options that balance growth potential with risk mitigation, guiding you towards achieving your desired corpus. Have you considered consulting one to fine-tune your financial roadmap?

Remember, the journey to financial security is not just about numbers—it's about ensuring peace of mind and enabling your loved ones to pursue their dreams. By proactively seeking guidance and exploring diverse investment avenues, you're laying a robust foundation for a fulfilling future. Keep nurturing your financial garden, and the seeds you sow today will bloom into a prosperous tomorrow.

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6991 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 27, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 23, 2024Hindi
Money
Hi, I am 34 years old working in PSU Bank. Present Status of Investment is NPS- ? 20 lacs FDs- ? 4 lacs PPF (9 Financial years completed) - ? 9 lacs SIP- ? 1.65 lacs (Mirae Asset Midcap- 5k, Canara Robeco Small Cap- 2k, Quant Small Cap- 2k, DSP Next 50 index- 1k) LIC- ? 20 lacs SI (Guaranteed Bonus for 8 years- ? 5.84 lacs) Term Insurance and Health Insurance policy taken. Major Liabilities include Fresh Housing Loan- ? 50 lacs Car loan outstanding - ? 8 lacs I want to retire early and want to create a purely liquid corpus of ? 5-7 Cr by the age of 45 . Request you to provide financial advise in this regard.
Ans: Understanding Your Financial Situation
Your dedication to financial planning is admirable. At 34, you have already made substantial investments and have a clear goal of early retirement. Your current investments include Rs 20 lakh in NPS, Rs 4 lakh in FDs, Rs 9 lakh in PPF, and Rs 1.65 lakh in SIPs. Additionally, you have Rs 20 lakh in LIC and significant term and health insurance coverage.

Evaluating Current Investments
Your investment portfolio shows a diverse mix of instruments. Each has its strengths and contributes to your financial security. Let's evaluate each component to ensure it aligns with your early retirement goal.

NPS Investments
Your Rs 20 lakh investment in NPS is a strong foundation. NPS offers a mix of equity and debt exposure, balancing growth and stability. However, it has a lock-in period until retirement, limiting liquidity.

To create a liquid corpus, consider diversifying into more liquid investments. Consulting a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) can help optimize your NPS allocation to align with your retirement timeline.

Fixed Deposits (FDs)
FDs offer security and guaranteed returns, but they often yield lower returns compared to other investments. With Rs 4 lakh in FDs, you have a secure base. However, consider balancing this with higher-return investments to achieve your retirement goal.

Public Provident Fund (PPF)
Your Rs 9 lakh in PPF is a wise choice for tax-free, long-term savings. PPF provides stable returns and is government-backed, ensuring safety. However, like NPS, it has a lock-in period, limiting liquidity.

To reach your goal, ensure other investments are more liquid. This strategy provides both growth and accessibility.

Systematic Investment Plans (SIPs)
Your SIPs in mutual funds are a dynamic component of your portfolio. Investing Rs 1.65 lakh in various mutual funds shows your commitment to growth. Actively managed funds can offer better returns compared to index funds. Fund managers adjust portfolios based on market conditions, optimizing performance.

Direct mutual funds have lower expense ratios but require significant knowledge and time. Investing through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) ensures professional management and better outcomes.

Life Insurance Corporation (LIC)
Your Rs 20 lakh in LIC provides a safety net for your family. However, traditional LIC policies often yield lower returns compared to other investments. Surrendering your LIC policy and reinvesting the premium amount in mutual funds can potentially yield higher returns. Mutual funds offer better growth prospects and flexibility, enhancing your financial goals. Consulting with a CFP will help you make an informed decision and optimize your investment strategy.

Managing Liabilities
Your fresh housing loan of Rs 50 lakh and car loan of Rs 8 lakh are major liabilities. Managing these loans effectively is crucial for your financial health.

Housing Loan
Housing loans typically have lower interest rates and tax benefits. Prioritize paying off high-interest debt first. Ensure your EMI payments are manageable and align with your income.

Car Loan
Car loans usually have higher interest rates. Consider paying off your car loan faster to reduce interest costs. This strategy frees up more funds for investment, helping you reach your retirement goal.

Creating a Liquid Corpus
To achieve a liquid corpus of Rs 5-7 crore by age 45, you need a strategic investment plan. Here are key steps:

Increase SIP Contributions
Increasing your SIP contributions can significantly boost your corpus. Regular, disciplined investments in mutual funds can yield substantial returns. Aim to increase your SIP amounts annually, aligning with income growth.

Diversify Investment Portfolio
Diversification spreads risk and enhances potential returns. Invest in a mix of equity and debt instruments. Actively managed funds can provide better growth opportunities. Diversify across sectors and geographies for balanced growth.

Focus on High-Return Investments
Equity mutual funds and stocks offer higher returns but come with higher risk. Balance your portfolio with a mix of high-return and low-risk investments. This strategy optimizes growth while managing risk.

Regular Review and Adjustments
Regularly reviewing and adjusting your investment plan is crucial. Monitor your portfolio's performance and make necessary changes. Stay informed about market trends and economic conditions. Consulting a CFP ensures your plan remains effective and aligned with your goals.

Building an Emergency Fund
An emergency fund covering 6-12 months' expenses provides financial security. Ensure this fund is easily accessible and separate from your main investments. This strategy protects your savings from unexpected expenses.

Ensuring Adequate Insurance Coverage
Adequate health and life insurance coverage is crucial. Review your existing policies and consider additional coverage if needed. Insurance protects your savings from unforeseen medical and life events.

Planning for Inflation
Inflation erodes purchasing power over time. Plan for inflation by investing in instruments that provide inflation-adjusted returns. Actively managed funds and equity investments can offer higher returns to combat inflation.

Conclusion
Your disciplined saving and investment approach is commendable. Balancing fixed-income investments, mutual funds, and managing liabilities ensures stability and growth. Consulting a Certified Financial Planner ensures expert guidance and optimization.

Regularly review and adjust your financial plan to stay on track. Building an emergency fund and ensuring adequate insurance coverage provide financial security. Your goal of a liquid corpus of Rs 5-7 crore by age 45 is achievable with a strategic, disciplined approach.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6991 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 14, 2024

Money
Sir, I am 43 years old living in UAE, with FD of 10L and current MF accumulation of 1.04 Cr and monthly SIP 50K along. I have a 2BHK apartment in Chennai which yields a rent of 8000 Rs and a 3-bedroom house inherited from my parents as gift where we live currently. Along with this we have 2400 Sq ft of land in Chennai and 3000 Sq ft of land in Madurai. I am contributing 69K yearly for the last 11 years in my name until 2035 (expected returns 30Lakhs), 28K yearly in my daughter’s name until 2034 (expected returns 10Lakhs). Addition to this i have icici pru gift long terms with annual payment of 2L Rs on my name (to pay for another 10 years and the return of 16K per month) icici future perfect 1L Rs (to pay for another 10 years). Will receive a sum of 5L Rs from a LIC policy which is getting matured this year and a Term policy of 2 Cr for which I must pay 47K annually and it must be paid for another 22 years and 20 Lakhs worth of gold. I wish to invest in stocks in the next 7 years with an average risk and stop SIP at the age of 50. I have a 9th grade daughter who wishes to pursue Medicine and a son who is in grade 2. I wish to retire at the age of 50 (7 years from now) and start consulting. Could you please guide me how much corpus I should create in the next 7 years to live a normal lifestyle and ensure to pay the balance ICICI investments and my daughters’ education regards Raj
Ans: Current Financial Situation
Raj, you have done a commendable job in managing your finances and building a diversified portfolio. Let's assess your current financial landscape.

Fixed Deposits and Mutual Funds
You have a fixed deposit (FD) of Rs 10 lakhs and a mutual fund (MF) portfolio worth Rs 1.04 crore. You also contribute Rs 50,000 monthly to SIPs. This shows a disciplined approach towards long-term wealth creation.

Real Estate Holdings
You own a 2BHK apartment in Chennai, which generates a rental income of Rs 8,000 per month, and a 3-bedroom house inherited from your parents. Additionally, you possess 2400 sq ft of land in Chennai and 3000 sq ft of land in Madurai.

Insurance and Investments
You have various insurance and investment plans:

Annual contribution of Rs 69,000 for yourself until 2035 (expected returns Rs 30 lakhs).
Annual contribution of Rs 28,000 for your daughter until 2034 (expected returns Rs 10 lakhs).
ICICI Pru Gift Long Term with an annual payment of Rs 2 lakhs, yielding Rs 16,000 monthly after maturity.
ICICI Future Perfect with an annual payment of Rs 1 lakh for another 10 years.
LIC policy maturing this year with a sum assured of Rs 5 lakhs.
Term policy with a cover of Rs 2 crore, annual premium Rs 47,000 for the next 22 years.
Gold worth Rs 20 lakhs.
Family Commitments
Your daughter, currently in 9th grade, aspires to pursue medicine. Your son is in grade 2. You plan to retire at 50 and transition into consulting.

Financial Goals
To ensure a smooth transition into retirement and meet your financial obligations, let's break down your goals:

Retirement Corpus
Daughter's Education
Continuation of Investments
Living Expenses Post-Retirement
Retirement Corpus
You plan to retire in 7 years. To maintain a comfortable lifestyle post-retirement, you need to determine a retirement corpus. This corpus should cover your monthly expenses, healthcare, and unforeseen emergencies.

Daughter's Education
Medical education is expensive. It is crucial to allocate sufficient funds for your daughter's medical education to avoid financial stress later.

Continuation of Investments
You have ongoing investments that require continued funding. Ensuring these are adequately funded until their maturity is essential for maximizing returns.

Living Expenses Post-Retirement
Post-retirement, you will require a steady income to cover living expenses. Your rental income, SIP returns, and maturity proceeds from insurance plans will contribute to this.

Strategy to Achieve Financial Goals
To meet your financial goals efficiently, consider the following strategies:

Increase SIP Contributions
Currently, you invest Rs 50,000 monthly in SIPs. Increasing this amount will help accumulate a larger corpus. Given your current financial stability, consider increasing your SIP contributions by 10-15% annually. This will compound your wealth significantly over the next 7 years.

Diversify Mutual Fund Investments
Review your mutual fund portfolio and diversify across various sectors and market caps. Actively managed funds tend to outperform index funds in the long run due to professional fund management and active stock selection. This can provide better returns and reduce risks.

Surrender Low-Yield Insurance Policies
Your LIC policy maturing this year will yield Rs 5 lakhs. Reinvest this amount in mutual funds for better returns. Assess the ICICI Pru Gift Long Term and ICICI Future Perfect plans. If they are not performing well, consider surrendering them and reinvesting in higher-yield mutual funds. This can maximize returns and provide better growth opportunities for your investments.

Plan for Daughter's Education
Estimate the total cost of your daughter's medical education, including tuition fees, living expenses, and other costs. Create a dedicated education fund using a mix of debt and equity mutual funds. This will ensure safety and growth of the corpus.

Utilize Gold Holdings
Your gold holdings worth Rs 20 lakhs can be a valuable asset. Consider partial liquidation of gold to fund higher-yield investments. Alternatively, keep the gold as a hedge against inflation and as a contingency fund.

Create an Emergency Fund
Ensure you have an emergency fund covering at least 6-12 months of living expenses. This fund should be in a liquid asset class, such as a liquid mutual fund or a high-interest savings account, to access funds readily in case of emergencies.

Investment in Mutual Funds
Instead of investing directly in stocks, mutual funds can provide a balanced approach to achieving your financial goals with moderate risk. Here are the benefits:

Professional Management: Mutual funds are managed by professional fund managers who have the expertise to make informed investment decisions.
Diversification: Mutual funds provide diversification across various sectors and asset classes, reducing overall risk.
Liquidity: Mutual funds offer liquidity, allowing you to redeem your investments as needed.
Tax Efficiency: Equity mutual funds held for more than a year qualify for long-term capital gains tax benefits.
Increase SIP Contributions in Mutual Funds
Currently, you invest Rs 50,000 monthly in SIPs. Increasing this amount will help accumulate a larger corpus. Given your current financial stability, consider increasing your SIP contributions by 10-15% annually. This will compound your wealth significantly over the next 7 years.

Diversify Mutual Fund Investments
Review your mutual fund portfolio and diversify across various sectors and market caps. Actively managed funds tend to outperform index funds in the long run due to professional fund management and active stock selection. This can provide better returns and reduce risks.

Corpus Calculation for Retirement
To estimate the corpus required for retirement, consider the following:

Monthly Living Expenses: Calculate your current monthly expenses and account for inflation.
Healthcare Costs: Factor in healthcare costs, which tend to rise with age.
Contingency Fund: Include a contingency fund for unforeseen expenses.
Desired Lifestyle: Consider the lifestyle you wish to maintain post-retirement.
Monthly Living Expenses
Assume your current monthly expenses are Rs 50,000. Accounting for inflation at 6%, these expenses will rise over the next 7 years.

Healthcare Costs
Healthcare costs can be substantial post-retirement. Ensure you have comprehensive health insurance and allocate a part of your corpus towards healthcare.

Contingency Fund
Set aside at least 10% of your retirement corpus for emergencies. This ensures financial security during unforeseen circumstances.

Desired Lifestyle
Factor in any lifestyle changes you wish to make post-retirement, such as travel, hobbies, or relocation.

Final Insights
Raj, your current financial situation is strong, with a diversified portfolio and substantial assets. To ensure a comfortable retirement and meet your financial goals, focus on increasing SIP contributions, diversifying mutual fund investments, and planning adequately for your daughter's education. Reviewing insurance policies and reallocating funds to higher-yield investments will optimize your returns. Investing in mutual funds can provide balanced growth and reduce risk, ensuring financial security post-retirement.

Building a robust retirement corpus requires careful planning and disciplined investing. With the right strategies, you can achieve your financial goals and enjoy a comfortable retirement while ensuring your family's financial security.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6991 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 26, 2024

Money
Hello Sir , I am 42 years old . I have one child 3 years old. I have invested in Max Life High Growth fund of one lakh per year which is 5 years now . Amount reflecting is 10 lakhs today. 5 years more to go for completion. I have my own house 62 lakhs just purchased . No loans . I recently purchased one more ulip policy midcap momentum 150 max life yearly one lakh for 10 years.I have invested in 3 Bhk apartment amount 1.7 cr which I will complete payment in next year. I earn around 36 to 40 lakhs per year. At present the expense is 50 thousand per month. How much amount should I invest yearly and where to develop a corpus of 5 cr at the age of 60 after deduction for one .child education. Thanks
Ans: First, let's understand your financial situation. You're 42, have a 3-year-old child, and a substantial annual income of Rs 36-40 lakhs. Your expenses are Rs 50,000 per month. You own a house worth Rs 62 lakhs and a 3BHK apartment for Rs 1.7 crores. No loans exist, and you’ve invested in ULIPs.

Compliments and Understanding
It's commendable that you've built a solid financial base and are debt-free. Your foresight in investing for the future is impressive. Let's plan for a corpus of Rs 5 crore by age 60, covering your child's education expenses too.

Evaluating Your Current Investments
Max Life High Growth Fund
You’ve invested Rs 1 lakh per year in Max Life High Growth Fund for 5 years. It's now worth Rs 10 lakhs. This ULIP has 5 more years to go. Evaluating ULIPs for high charges and lower flexibility, consider other options for higher returns.

New ULIP Policy
You recently bought another ULIP policy (Midcap Momentum 150, Max Life) with Rs 1 lakh annually for 10 years. ULIPs have mixed reviews due to their high charges and lower liquidity compared to mutual funds.

Real Estate Investments
Owning a house and a 3BHK apartment indicates a strong asset base. However, real estate might not yield high liquidity or returns compared to other investments. We'll focus on diversifying your portfolio further.

Creating a Financial Plan
Defining Financial Goals
Your primary goal is accumulating Rs 5 crore by age 60. Secondary goals include funding your child’s education. Let's outline steps to achieve these objectives.

Diversification Strategy
Diversification is key to managing risk and maximizing returns. We'll explore various investment options, ensuring a balanced portfolio.

Mutual Funds: A Preferred Investment Avenue
Equity Mutual Funds
Equity mutual funds offer high growth potential, suitable for long-term wealth accumulation. They invest in stocks, providing inflation-beating returns.

Debt Mutual Funds
Debt mutual funds are less risky, providing stable returns. They invest in fixed-income securities like bonds. They suit investors seeking steady income with lower risk.

Hybrid Mutual Funds
Hybrid funds balance risk and return by investing in both equities and debt. They offer a diversified approach, suitable for moderate risk-takers.

Benefits of Regular Funds
Investing through a Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD) with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) credential provides personalized advice. MFDs help choose funds aligning with your goals and offer ongoing portfolio management.

Systematic Investment Plan (SIP)
Regular Investments
Investing through SIPs in mutual funds is beneficial. It ensures disciplined investing and rupee cost averaging, reducing the impact of market volatility.

Calculating SIP Amount
To accumulate Rs 5 crore by age 60, we need to determine the annual investment amount. Given your financial situation, a significant portion of your income can be allocated towards SIPs in equity and hybrid funds.

Public Provident Fund (PPF)
Long-Term Savings
PPF is a government-backed savings scheme offering attractive interest rates and tax benefits under Section 80C. It suits risk-averse investors seeking assured returns.

PPF Strategy
Investing a portion of your savings in PPF can provide a secure and stable return, balancing the overall risk of your portfolio.

National Pension System (NPS)
Retirement Planning
NPS is a government-sponsored pension scheme offering diversified investments in equities, corporate bonds, and government securities. It provides tax benefits and helps build a retirement corpus.

NPS Contributions
Allocating funds to NPS ensures a steady income post-retirement. It complements other investments, ensuring financial security in later years.

Gold: A Traditional and Reliable Asset
Gold ETFs and Sovereign Gold Bonds
Investing in Gold ETFs and Sovereign Gold Bonds offers benefits of gold without storage hassles. Sovereign Gold Bonds also provide periodic interest, enhancing returns.

Health and Term Insurance
Health Insurance
Comprehensive health insurance is crucial to cover medical expenses, protecting your savings and ensuring quality healthcare.

Term Insurance
Term insurance provides high life cover at low premiums. It ensures financial security for your family in case of your untimely demise. Choose a plan with adequate coverage.

Reviewing and Adjusting Investments
Regular Portfolio Review
Regularly reviewing your investment portfolio ensures it aligns with your goals. Make necessary adjustments based on market conditions and personal circumstances.

Avoiding Emotional Investing
Stick to your financial plan and avoid making investment decisions based on emotions. Make informed decisions and seek professional advice when needed.

Benefits of Actively Managed Funds
Professional Management
Actively managed funds are managed by professional fund managers. They conduct extensive research and make informed investment decisions, aiming to outperform the market.

Potential for Higher Returns
Actively managed funds have the potential to deliver higher returns compared to index funds. Fund managers can take advantage of market opportunities and mitigate risks through active management.

Flexibility
Actively managed funds offer flexibility in investment strategies. Fund managers can adjust the portfolio based on market conditions and economic trends, enhancing performance.

Disadvantages of Index Funds
Lack of Flexibility
Index funds are passively managed and track a specific index. They lack flexibility to adjust to market conditions, which can limit returns.

Potential Underperformance
Index funds may underperform actively managed funds during market downturns. They cannot capitalize on market opportunities or mitigate risks effectively.

Limited Scope
Index funds have limited scope for diversification. They invest in a fixed set of securities, which might not align with your investment goals and risk tolerance.

Final Insights
Achieving a corpus of Rs 5 crore by age 60 requires disciplined investing and strategic planning. Diversifying your investments across mutual funds, PPF, NPS, and gold ensures a balanced and robust portfolio. Engaging a Certified Financial Planner ensures personalized advice and disciplined investing, helping you achieve long-term financial success.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Latest Questions
Anu

Anu Krishna  |1287 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 07, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi Anu Mam Im 27 yrs old ( married) and 10 yrs old daughter. Im seperated from my husband since 2 yrs due to several reasons like he is drinking and Totally addicted to it. And he is totally dependent and now today also roaming on the roads of some streets of hyd. I belongs to an orthdox family. Now the question is one backward caste man who is married age : 33 he is interested in me and proposed me to a marriage after knowing all my past and saying that he accepts my child too. And the thing is he said a lie to me at first that he is unmarried and even though i had a good impression on him about the way he behaves with me he even treat me in a very polite manner. He says he loves me even though i too had a good impression but the things are the castes and can we both settle down with a marriage can we be happy or he is only trying to convince me to get him a wife to care care of him or only for his parents, he always talks about his own sister and also the office colleagues calls them sister and get emotional about them those who left the office. And he cries a lot which i dont trust on him and the face i see him that was not an real cry that looks like an act which i dont like in him. May he is acting ? Or really loving me, ge cares alot i feel like he is over reacting
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
If you are in doubt, then it's highly likely that he is putting on an act. Go with your intuition and hey hey, you said that he is married and so are you...You do realize that you just can't go ahead and marry while you are already to other people, right?
Focus on what's happening in your life; you obviously have to do something about it...Other relationships can wait!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1287 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 06, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hello Ms Anu, I am a 42yr female..married since 14 yrs and have 10yr old son . I am highly qualified and financially independent. My marriage was a arranged one.. but in these 14 yrs.. I never experienced love or and attachment from my husband's side. He is a family man.. there is no other woman involved..He loves his parents and his two sisters immensely... but always treats me as a option. I feel humiliated and lonely and he has short temper when i talk about this issue... so basically I don't discuss... but that is no solution... I am suffering and unhappy. What should I do?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
A few married men can be more focused on the women on their side of the family; it becomes easy to express love, care and attention to them as he has grown with them.
A wife happens to be someone that he is yet to understand. It requires effort to make a marriage work; your husband finds it convenient to take the easy way out and 'hang out' with his family.
So, here you take the lead and start. Start not by bringing forth your complaints as this is going to push him further to them which is going to annoy you BUT by inviting him to be with you. A lot of work, I get it...but the bottom line: that's what you want, right?
Plan dates evenings, take short vacations together, work-out together...the key is to establish a connection which never had its chance in the first place...So, give your best shot! Most times actions speak louder than words ever can...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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