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Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7103 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 27, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Narendra Question by Narendra on May 25, 2024Hindi
Money

Best motilal Oswal mutual fund

Ans: Evaluating the Best Motilal Oswal Mutual Fund
Understanding Your Investment Needs
Selecting the best Motilal Oswal mutual fund depends on your investment goals, risk tolerance, and investment horizon. Motilal Oswal offers a variety of mutual funds catering to different needs, from equity to hybrid funds.

Equity Mutual Funds
High Growth Potential
Equity funds from Motilal Oswal aim to provide high growth over the long term. They invest in stocks, which can yield substantial returns. However, they also come with higher risk compared to debt funds.

Large-Cap Funds
Large-cap funds invest in well-established companies. They offer stability and steady growth. These funds are less volatile than mid or small-cap funds, making them suitable for conservative investors seeking consistent returns.

Mid-Cap and Small-Cap Funds
Mid-cap and small-cap funds invest in medium and small-sized companies. These funds offer higher growth potential but with increased volatility. They are suitable for investors with a higher risk appetite and a long-term horizon.

Hybrid Mutual Funds
Balanced Risk and Return
Hybrid funds invest in both equity and debt instruments. They provide a balanced approach, offering both growth and stability. These funds are suitable for investors seeking moderate risk and consistent returns.

Debt Mutual Funds
Low Risk and Stable Returns
Debt funds invest in fixed-income securities like bonds and treasury bills. They provide stable returns with lower risk compared to equity funds. Debt funds are ideal for conservative investors looking for consistent income.

Actively Managed Funds
Professional Management
Actively managed funds are overseen by professional fund managers. They make strategic decisions based on market research and analysis. This professional management aims to outperform the market, offering higher returns.

Flexibility and Adaptability
Actively managed funds can adjust their portfolios based on market conditions. This flexibility helps in capitalizing on opportunities and managing risks effectively, enhancing overall performance.

Disadvantages of Index Funds
Average Market Returns
Index funds aim to replicate the performance of a market index. They provide average market returns, which might limit the growth potential. In contrast, actively managed funds strive to outperform the index, offering higher returns.

Lack of Professional Management
Index funds do not have active management. They follow a predetermined portfolio, lacking the flexibility to adapt to market changes. Actively managed funds leverage expert insights, potentially yielding better outcomes.

Diversification Benefits
Spreading Risk
Diversification involves spreading investments across various asset classes. It helps in managing risk by reducing the impact of poor performance in any single investment. Motilal Oswal's range of funds allows for effective diversification.

Sector and Market Capitalization
Investing in funds across different sectors and market capitalizations ensures a balanced portfolio. This approach minimizes concentration risk and captures growth from various market segments.

Importance of Regular Monitoring
Periodic Portfolio Review
Regularly reviewing your portfolio ensures it remains aligned with your goals. Market conditions and personal circumstances change over time. Periodic reviews help in making necessary adjustments.

Rebalancing Investments
Rebalancing maintains your desired asset allocation. It involves adjusting your portfolio to restore balance, optimizing performance. Regular rebalancing ensures your investments are on track.

Building an Emergency Fund
Financial Security
Before committing to long-term investments, ensure an adequate emergency fund. This fund should cover at least six months of living expenses. It provides a financial cushion, preventing the need to liquidate investments prematurely.

Understanding Tax Implications
Tax Efficiency
Understanding tax implications helps in maximizing returns. Some mutual funds offer tax benefits, enhancing post-tax returns. Consulting a tax expert or a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) can optimize your investment strategy.

Importance of Professional Guidance
Benefits of Regular Funds
Investing through regular funds with a Certified Financial Planner provides professional guidance. CFPs tailor investment strategies to your goals and risk tolerance. This expertise ensures a well-balanced and effective portfolio.

Disadvantages of Direct Funds
Direct funds lack professional oversight, making informed decisions challenging. Regular funds offer the benefit of expert advice, optimizing investment outcomes. Professional guidance helps in navigating market complexities.

Conclusion
Motilal Oswal offers a variety of mutual funds to suit different investment needs. Evaluating your goals, risk tolerance, and investment horizon will help in selecting the best fund. Diversifying across equity, hybrid, and debt funds can optimize growth and manage risk. Regular monitoring and professional guidance are crucial for long-term success.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7103 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 09, 2024Hindi
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Motilal Oswal mid direct growth is good for lumsum investment for 4-5 years or not .if any other MF is better then that pl suggest .
Ans: 4-5 Year Investment: Keeping Your Money Safe
Thinking about investing for 4-5 years is smart! But with a shorter timeframe, prioritizing capital protection is important. Let's explore some options that might suit your needs.

Mid-Caps for Short Term?

While Motilal Oswal Midcap is a good fund, mid-cap stocks can be more volatile. Their prices can swing more in a short period like 4-5 years. This volatility might not be ideal for your goals.

Safer Options for 4-5 Years

Here are some options that typically offer lower volatility and predictable returns:

Debt Funds: Invest in fixed-income securities like government bonds. They offer lower risk and potential for stable returns.
Balanced Funds: Invest in a mix of stocks and bonds. This provides some growth potential with stability through debt allocation.
Benefits of a CFP Professional

A Certified Financial Planner (CFP) professional can offer personalized advice. They can help you:

Understand Risk Tolerance: Identify your comfort level with market ups and downs.
Choose Right Investment: Select an option that aligns with your risk tolerance and goals.
Invest for Your Needs: Create a plan that considers your short-term investment and long-term goals.
Regular Plan vs Direct Plan

Regular plans with a CFP professional can offer some advantages over direct plans. A CFP can:

Save on Efforts: While direct plans offer a lower expense ratio, they do require a certain level of investment knowledge for scheme selection and rebalancing.

Direct plans have a lower expense ratio, but require more research and active management. Selecting the right schemes and rebalancing at the right time can be challenging for beginners. Regular plans with a CFP professional can offer guidance in these areas.

Stay on Track: Guide you through market changes and keep you invested for your goals.
Remember:

The best investment for you depends on your risk tolerance and goals. A CFP can create a plan that prioritizes safety for your 4-5 year investment.

Next Steps:

Consider consulting a CFP professional for personalized guidance.
They can assess your risk profile and suggest suitable investment options.
Make informed choices for your financial future!

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7103 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Sep 10, 2024

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Money
MOTILAL OSWAL NIFTY DEFENCE FUND WHAT IS YOUR INVESTMENT OPINION
Ans: The Motilal Oswal Nifty Defence Fund is a sector-focused fund that invests in the defence sector of India. Investing in sector-specific funds like this requires careful consideration, as the risk and return dynamics are different compared to diversified equity funds.

Let's break down the fund from an investment perspective:

Key Points to Consider
1. Sector-Specific Risk
Concentration Risk: This fund focuses on a single sector, making it highly sensitive to the performance of the defence industry. If the sector underperforms, the entire portfolio could suffer.

Cyclical Nature: The defence sector is influenced by government policies, budgets, geopolitical events, and economic cycles. It's a niche sector, and its performance can be unpredictable.

2. Limited Diversification
Unlike diversified equity funds, a sector fund like this limits your exposure to just one sector. This increases risk because the entire portfolio hinges on the performance of defence-related companies.

In contrast, actively managed diversified funds spread risk across sectors, reducing dependency on the performance of any single industry.

3. Long-Term Growth Potential
Government Focus on Defence: The Indian government is increasingly focused on self-reliance in defence, making significant investments and promoting domestic manufacturing. This could be a positive long-term growth driver for the sector.

Strategic Importance: The defence sector has strategic importance and might see consistent growth due to geopolitical factors and rising defence budgets.

4. Volatility and Timing Risk
Sectoral funds, including defence, are more volatile than diversified funds. A poor market cycle or negative news related to the sector could cause sharp declines in value.

Investing in sector funds requires timing the entry and exit carefully, which can be difficult for individual investors. Missing the right timing can result in significant losses.

5. Actively Managed Funds vs. Index Funds
Index funds, like the Motilal Oswal Nifty Defence Fund, follow a passive strategy, simply tracking the index. While this lowers costs, it also limits the fund's flexibility.

Actively managed funds, on the other hand, allow fund managers to adjust portfolios dynamically based on market conditions, potentially enhancing returns and managing risk better than a passive strategy.

6. Suitability for Your Portfolio
This fund is best suited for investors with high-risk tolerance and a strong belief in the growth potential of the defence sector.

If you already have a well-diversified portfolio and are looking to allocate a small portion to sectoral bets, this fund might be considered. However, it shouldn't form a large part of your core portfolio.

For most investors, a diversified equity fund or flexi-cap fund offers a better risk-adjusted return than sectoral funds.

Final Insights
The Motilal Oswal Nifty Defence Fund offers an opportunity to capitalize on the growth of India's defence sector, but it comes with higher risk due to sectoral concentration. If you're comfortable with volatility and have a long-term investment horizon, this fund could complement a well-diversified portfolio. However, actively managed diversified funds remain a more balanced and flexible option for most investors.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7103 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Nov 25, 2024

Money
I am 50 years old, how much proportion should I allocate in Debt and Equity mutual funds. I am investing in mutual funds only. My 43 L portfolio has 37 L equity and 6 Lak debt.
Ans: Balancing your portfolio between equity and debt is critical at this stage. A 50-year-old investor should aim for a safer portfolio while ensuring reasonable growth. Since you’re already investing in mutual funds, fine-tuning your allocation can optimise returns and reduce risk.

Let’s assess your portfolio in detail and identify actionable steps for an optimal balance.

Evaluating Your Current Portfolio
Your current allocation includes:

Rs 37 lakh in equity: Around 86% of your total portfolio.
Rs 6 lakh in debt: About 14% of your total portfolio.
This equity-heavy portfolio is suitable for younger investors. At 50, you may need to rebalance to reduce volatility while retaining growth.

Recommended Allocation Strategy
A general rule is the "100 minus age" approach. However, personal goals, risk tolerance, and financial stability should guide decisions. For a 50-year-old:

Equity: 50% to 60% of the portfolio. This ensures growth and combats inflation.
Debt: 40% to 50%. This ensures stability and predictable returns.
You can adjust within this range based on personal preferences and financial objectives.

Steps to Rebalance Your Portfolio
To align your portfolio, consider these steps:

Gradually reduce equity exposure: Shift some equity investments to debt. Do this systematically over months to avoid timing risks.
Increase debt mutual funds allocation: Consider short-duration or dynamic bond funds for liquidity and moderate returns.
Use hybrid mutual funds: Balanced advantage funds can offer a mix of equity and debt with automatic rebalancing.
Why a Balanced Allocation Is Crucial
Equity: This provides growth potential to counter inflation. It supports long-term financial goals like retirement planning.
Debt: This offers stability and acts as a buffer against market downturns. It ensures liquidity for unexpected expenses.
Avoid Over-Exposure to Equity
While equity delivers higher returns, excessive exposure can increase portfolio risk. A balanced allocation shields you during market corrections.

Advantages of Actively Managed Funds
Actively managed funds can outperform the market due to professional expertise. They adjust portfolios based on market trends and opportunities.

Disadvantages of Index Funds:

They lack active monitoring during volatile periods.
They mimic the index, limiting scope for higher returns.
Their fixed composition may underperform in certain market cycles.
For long-term growth, actively managed funds offer better risk-adjusted returns.

Benefits of Regular Funds Over Direct Funds
Guidance: Regular funds come with expert advice from an MFD with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) credential.
Portfolio Monitoring: They help align your investments with changing market conditions.
Support: MFDs can guide in tax planning and rebalancing.
Direct funds, while cheaper, may lead to uninformed decisions and missed opportunities.

Tax Efficiency in Your Portfolio
Understanding new mutual fund taxation rules is essential:

Equity funds: LTCG above Rs 1.25 lakh is taxed at 12.5%. STCG is taxed at 20%.
Debt funds: Gains are taxed as per your income slab.
Consider tax implications before rebalancing to avoid unnecessary liabilities.

Maintaining Liquidity
At this stage, maintaining a portion of your portfolio in liquid funds is prudent. It helps meet short-term goals or emergencies without disturbing long-term investments.

Aligning with Retirement Goals
Your portfolio should focus on generating a steady post-retirement income. Here’s how:

Allocate more to debt as you approach retirement.
Use SWP (Systematic Withdrawal Plan) for regular income during retirement.
Retain a small equity portion to combat inflation even post-retirement.
Creating a Contingency Fund
Set aside a separate fund equivalent to 6-12 months of expenses. Use liquid or ultra-short-term debt funds for this.

Monitoring and Reviewing Your Portfolio
Review your portfolio every 6 months.
Rebalance based on market conditions and life changes.
Consult a Certified Financial Planner for adjustments aligned with your goals.
Avoid Common Investment Pitfalls
Chasing high returns: Avoid concentrating on high-risk funds at this stage.
Over-diversification: Stick to a manageable number of funds to track performance easily.
Ignoring inflation: Ensure your portfolio grows faster than inflation rates.
Building a Long-Term Perspective
Focus on wealth preservation alongside growth.
Maintain discipline in investing. Avoid reacting impulsively to market fluctuations.
Stay informed about economic and market trends affecting mutual fund performance.
Final Insights
Balancing equity and debt is essential for stability and growth in your portfolio. A 50%-60% equity and 40%-50% debt allocation aligns with your age and goals. Active management and regular reviews will help optimise returns and minimise risks.

Transitioning gradually ensures minimal disruption to your portfolio’s growth. Focus on creating a robust strategy to secure your financial future.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7103 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Nov 25, 2024

Money
One time investment in mutual fund in which fund
Ans: To decide on a one-time investment, understanding your financial goals is vital. Knowing the purpose of your investment ensures better alignment with your expectations. Your goals could be wealth creation, retirement planning, or funding a specific future expense like a child's education or marriage.

Assessing Risk Tolerance
Before choosing any investment, assess your risk tolerance. High-risk options offer better returns but can fluctuate more. If you are a conservative investor, you might prefer stability over high returns. Moderately aggressive investors balance growth and risk well.

Benefits of Actively Managed Mutual Funds
Actively managed mutual funds are an excellent choice for one-time investments. Professional fund managers make critical investment decisions based on market conditions. These funds can outperform market indices over the long term due to their strategic asset allocation.

They adapt well to market dynamics, offering higher growth potential than passive funds. Investors benefit from expertise and insights that help mitigate risks during market downturns.

Disadvantages of Index Funds
Index funds simply track market indices and lack active management. They offer no scope for market-beating returns. While their fees are lower, this comes at the cost of performance. In actively managed funds, expert decision-making can lead to better results.

Investors relying solely on index funds may miss opportunities to earn superior returns. Active funds also better suit those aiming for long-term wealth accumulation with reduced volatility.

The Issue with Direct Funds
Direct funds may have lower costs but require greater knowledge and time. Without professional advice, managing such investments can be overwhelming. Regular funds, managed through Certified Financial Planners, ensure guidance tailored to your needs.

A Certified Financial Planner monitors your portfolio’s performance, suggesting timely corrections. This professional approach ensures that your investment aligns with your financial goals efficiently.

Choosing the Right Mutual Fund Category
Select funds based on your investment horizon and risk appetite. Equity mutual funds work well for long-term goals as they provide higher growth potential. However, they carry higher volatility and are suitable only for investors with a longer time horizon.

For medium-term goals, balanced or hybrid funds are better suited. These combine equity and debt to balance risk and returns. Short-term goals are better addressed with debt funds, offering lower returns with minimal risk.

Importance of Diversification
Diversifying your investment reduces the risk of losses. It spreads your money across various sectors, ensuring market fluctuations impact your investment less. Avoid investing all funds in a single category, ensuring a mix of equity, debt, and hybrid funds.

Taxation Rules for Mutual Funds
Understand the tax implications before investing. For equity funds, long-term capital gains above Rs 1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5%. Short-term capital gains are taxed at 20%. For debt funds, all gains are taxed as per your income tax slab.

Consider tax-saving options if your goal aligns with reducing tax liabilities. While tax efficiency matters, it should not override your primary objective of wealth creation.

Importance of Lump Sum Timing
Market timing matters for one-time investments. Investing during a market correction or when valuations are reasonable ensures better growth. A Certified Financial Planner can guide you to enter the market at the right time for better results.

Monitoring and Reviewing Your Investment
A one-time investment is not set and forget. Regular reviews ensure the investment aligns with your goals. Markets evolve, and so should your portfolio. Make changes as required with the guidance of a professional.

The Role of Emergency Funds
Ensure you have an adequate emergency fund before making a one-time investment. This fund covers unforeseen expenses, preventing you from withdrawing long-term investments prematurely. Keep at least 6-12 months' expenses aside for emergencies.

Setting Realistic Expectations
Investments are subject to market risks, and returns are not guaranteed. Patience and a long-term approach yield better results. Understand the product before investing, ensuring it meets your expectations and financial objectives.

Final Insights
A one-time mutual fund investment can help achieve your financial goals effectively. However, aligning this investment with your risk tolerance and objectives is key. Actively managed funds, combined with professional advice, offer the best value for your money.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1327 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 25, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 21, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I 25M) have been in a Long Distance Emotional Relationship with a College Friend (25F) whom I'd known since more than 3 years. Although, neither of us has explicitly confessed to each other, but we both seemed to have strong Feelings for each other. We both have shared a lot of personal matters about ourselves, with each other (which are unknown to even some of our Closest Friends). We both share similar Values & Outlook towards various aspects of Life (including our Long Term Career Goals). We both used to chat on WhatsApp almost everyday, sharing our experiences, opinions, knowledge etc. I used to Flirt with her by writing Romantic Poetry for her, once she'd also confessed that she's falling for me. But what has stopped us both from proposing Love to one another is the difference in our Family Background (I'm from a Telugu Speaking Hindu Brahmin Family & she's from a Malayali Catholic Christian Family, but we both studied together from a College in Gujarat). As of now, we both are in different States Studying/Working in different fields. But both of us have been preparing for UPSC, which is our ultimate Career Goal & we also used to discuss the Subject matter & Preparation Plans, helping out each other. Presently, the Problem is that She seems to have Ghosted me (since a Month) citing a silly reason that her Phone got Damaged (she'd said something like this even in 2021), but I see her active on various Social Media Platforms, regularly. I have tried reaching out to her through all the Social Media Platforms & have even called her up, but there's no Response at all, from her side. I am not able to understand why she has Ghosted me like this, atleast she could have honestly told me the actual Reason. Sometimes, I feel guilty that I must have been a distraction to her Studies. But I have very strong Feelings for her, which I'd never felt for any other Girl & I believe that we can have a Future together. We both could continue complementing each other in the course of UPSC Preparation & acting as each other's motivation & emotional support (as seen in the Movie "12th Fail"). And if we both successfully clear UPSC together, we could try to convince our Parents for Marriage (these are not just my Fantasies, even she had indirectly expressed her interest in sharing her Future Life with me). Now, I don't understand what to do? How to reach out to her & sort out things between us? If not reconciliation, I believe that I deserve atleast a definite closure with Honest communication. Though, I am going along with my UPSC Preparation, every now & then, I can't Help thinking of her, I'm feeling Lonely, her Emotional & Intellectual Company would be a great Help in the course of my Preparation. She's always been a Positive Motivation not a Distraction in my Career Path. Please advise me, how do I get back at her, presently, she's working in a different State, so reaching out to meet her in person is not feasible & I have unsuccessfully tried out all other means of Communication. What should I do now? I want to hear from her again, I'd feel satisfied even if she breaks it up with me, honestly stating the Reason. I am feeling restless due to this Uncertainty. Should I persistently keep trying to reach out to her, through different means, without giving up on her, until she Responds, Hoping that she'd appreciate my consistent efforts & reconsider the Relationship with me? Or would you advise any other approach, which is better, according to you?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You really need to STOP putting yourself through this.
The reason for your restless state is the dependency that you have been having on her, chats with her, the emotional base with her knowing well enough that there has been no prior agreement on commitment in this relationship. But that's the way the heart is, no?
So, there has been freedom with both of you to go away when you please, to see other people etc...

You have possibly been more into this connection that she has been into it and this has led to expectations from your end.
Go silent and maybe this will give her an idea of missing you if she truly has feelings for you. When you do this, you give yourself some breathing space as well on things that need your focus and also will also reveal if she really wants you as a part of her life. This space is difficult but really important.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

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Milind Vadjikar  |691 Answers  |Ask -

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Anu Krishna  |1327 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 25, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 18, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
My age is 30 gf is also of same age ..we have caste issue and she is being hindu..but we love each other deeply ..we are in strong seriously relationship since 5 years ..but suddenly now she has cheated with me with a guy of same caste and too rich..now i am devasted ..i have done everything for her she asked for and i have given my blood sweat and tears to work it this relation into marrige...since i found out my gf had cheated on me i am not in myself..my left chest always has mild to severe pain when i think about her .it is just sudden change of emotions..when i am doing my work i forgets about her but not able to focus and it is reflecting on my performance...please confirm what should i do now .she has said sorry multiple times ..but i cannot trust her the same way and not able to love her same way as it is use to be...though my feelinga for her never gonna die but this feeling only killing me please confirm what should do please
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Heartbreaks can show up in the body as aches and pains; but do visit the doctor to rule out any issue causing the pain in your chest.
I would suggest 'taking a break' from your relationship to process what has gone on...being cheated upon is not easy to digest and you need the time to understand what has happened.
Yes, loss of trust can be very difficult to repair but whether you want to forgive her or not, trust her again or not are things to be dealt with as you go into this 'break mode' as it will allow the anger to heighten, simmer and then dull down while the importance of this person in your life will arise where you can then ask yourself if you wish to continue this relationship or you actually can do away with it.
I do feel that you will benefit from working with a professional on this as your mind state can interfere in the process of reflection and healing. So, do consider that as well...
I will not say that Time Heals, but Time gives you an opportunity to reflect and learn...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1327 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 25, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 21, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I (30M) am looking for suitable match through Arranged Marriage Platforms. Recently, I had connected with a Lady (25F) who seemed to tick all the Boxes, which I preferred in a Life Partner & she seemed to like me too, we both were getting along quite well through chatting & phone calls. When we met, in person for the first time, I POLITELY asked her what's her BODY COUNT (while mentioning that my Body Count is Zero, as I am VIRGIN). Immediately, she lost her Temper, started abusing me & splashed her Drink all over my Face & Clothes, she was physically assaulting me, when the waiters intervened & calmed her down. I was feeling Humiliated in Public. She threatened that she would Report me to the Police for 'SEXUAL HARASSMENT'. Realising that she could ruin my Life, I apologised to her earnestly & made Peace. Needless to say, she ended all contact with me. But, this incident has left me emotionally bruised. Did I do anything Wrong by asking my prospective Life Partner about her Sexual History? Don't I have the Right to know about this aspect of the Woman, I'd be Marrying? Was she right in taking offence at my Question? Can her Reaction be Justified? Does my Question warrant a Criminal Case against me (something as Heinous as 'Sexual Harassment')? How do I handle such situations in the Future? Should I avoid asking, any other prospects, in the future m, such sensitive personal Questions? What do I do, in case, any other Lady, behaves aggressively with me? Would it be better, if I Record our entire conversation, secretly, using a Bodycam, as a Pro-Active measure, to prove my Innocence & defend myself against Criminal Proceedings? Would it be Legal, to Record our Conversation, without her Knowledge or Consent? Or shall I seek her Consent & Proceed cautiously? Please Advise me, how to handle such sensitive situations, in the Future.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Things have definitely changed in the dating and marriage scene from what it was even 20 or 10 years back...
But hey, I still have my reservations on whether women are comfortable answering very intimate questions...do you not think that a question on body count can be reserved to a future meeting maybe when the two of you show interest in each other and when transparency is vital to further the connection?
Right on Day 1, what is the necessity to jump about and get curious about it? Maybe if someone asked you, you would be okay with it but not everyone or every woman is going to be comfortable with it.
When you pay attention to what the other person wants and likes, there are minimal chances of you slipping up and irking them; where is the question then to take care of legal stuff, recording etc...
Genuinely be there with the other person in a conversation and when the rapport is built, the conversation flows effortlessly and you will start to enjoy it. Start to get curious about who they are as people rather than how many people they have slept with...This should help you!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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