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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6956 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 23, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Anish Question by Anish on Mar 10, 2024Hindi
Money

We have an Annual Income of 1.5Cr, Rental Assets that yield 24L Annually, Demat Portfolio of 1.5CR nd SIPs of 4.2L monthly. We have no loans or liabilities currently. I want to create a corpus of atleast 30Cr within the next 7-8 years. Kindly advise strategies to achieve the same.

Ans: Creating a corpus of Rs. 30 crore in the next 7-8 years is an ambitious and achievable goal with a strategic approach. Given your current financial standing, this goal requires optimizing your existing investments and exploring new opportunities. Your strong financial base includes a significant annual income, rental assets, a substantial demat portfolio, and regular SIPs. Let's develop a comprehensive strategy to help you reach your target.

Current Financial Situation
Income and Assets
Annual Income: Rs. 1.5 crore
Rental Income: Rs. 24 lakh annually
Demat Portfolio: Rs. 1.5 crore
SIPs: Rs. 4.2 lakh monthly
No Loans or Liabilities
Genuine Compliments
Your disciplined approach to financial planning and investments is impressive. Achieving this level of financial stability and growth showcases your commitment and strategic mindset.

Strategy to Achieve Rs. 30 Crore Corpus
1. Maximize Equity Investments
Equity investments are crucial for high returns over a long period. Your current SIPs are a great start, but increasing your exposure to equity can accelerate growth.

Increase SIP Contributions
If possible, increase your monthly SIP contributions. Analyze your monthly expenses and identify areas where you can allocate more towards SIPs. This incremental increase can significantly impact your corpus over time.

Diversify Equity Portfolio
Diversify your equity investments across large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap funds. Consider including sector-specific and international funds to spread risk and capture growth across different markets.

2. Optimize Your Demat Portfolio
Your demat portfolio of Rs. 1.5 crore can be a powerful growth engine. Regularly review and rebalance it to ensure optimal performance.

Regular Portfolio Review
Conduct quarterly reviews of your demat portfolio to align with market trends and your financial goals. Remove underperforming stocks and invest in high-growth opportunities.

Dividend Reinvestment
Reinvest dividends from your demat portfolio into high-growth stocks or mutual funds. This compounding effect can enhance your returns significantly.

3. Leverage Rental Income
Your rental assets yield a substantial annual income of Rs. 24 lakh. Utilizing this income efficiently can contribute towards your goal.

Reinvest Rental Income
Allocate a portion of your rental income towards additional investments. Consider investing in mutual funds, stocks, or other high-yield instruments.

Explore Commercial Real Estate
While direct real estate investment isn't recommended, exploring commercial real estate funds or REITs can provide stable returns and diversification.

4. Explore High-Yield Investment Options
Beyond traditional equity and mutual funds, explore other high-yield investment options to enhance your portfolio's growth potential.

Venture Capital and Private Equity
Invest a portion of your corpus in venture capital or private equity funds. These investments carry higher risks but offer the potential for significant returns.

International Investments
Diversify your portfolio with international mutual funds or ETFs. This can help mitigate country-specific risks and tap into global growth opportunities.

5. Tax Efficiency and Savings
Efficient tax planning can save a substantial amount, which can be reinvested to grow your corpus.

Utilize Tax-Advantaged Accounts
Maximize contributions to tax-saving instruments like ELSS funds, PPF, and NPS. These not only save taxes but also provide decent returns.

Strategic Tax Harvesting
Implement tax harvesting strategies to minimize tax liabilities on capital gains. This involves selling underperforming assets to offset gains from profitable investments.

6. Monitor and Adjust
Regular monitoring and timely adjustments are essential to stay on track with your financial goals.

Periodic Financial Reviews
Conduct bi-annual reviews of your overall financial plan. Adjust your investment strategy based on market conditions and changes in your financial situation.

Consult a Certified Financial Planner
Regular consultations with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) can provide expert insights and keep your strategy aligned with your goals.

Expected Returns and Risk Management
Targeted Return Rate
Aim for an annual return of around 12-15%. This is achievable with a balanced mix of high-growth equity and stable debt investments.

Risk Management
Diversify across asset classes to mitigate risk. Maintain an emergency fund to cover unexpected expenses, ensuring that your long-term investments remain untouched.

Conclusion
Reaching a corpus of Rs. 30 crore in 7-8 years requires disciplined investing, diversification, and regular monitoring. By optimizing your equity investments, leveraging rental income, exploring high-yield options, and ensuring tax efficiency, you can achieve your financial goal. Regular reviews and expert guidance from a Certified Financial Planner will further enhance your strategy.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6956 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 25, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 14, 2024Hindi
Money
Hi, I am 37 yrs old, single and earning 1lac per month. I invest 21K in 4 types of MF - Flexi cap, multicap, small cap, large cap equally distributed, 5,000 in NPS tier 1 & 2,500 in NPS tier 2, 5,000 in PPF, 6,500 SIP in smallcase stocks, I'm also trying to manage trading and having housing Loan EMI of 37,500 every month. How can I generate substantial corpus for my retirement. I'm planning to have around 10Cr. Please guide
Ans: I appreciate your dedication to securing your financial future. You're already making commendable strides towards building a substantial corpus for your retirement. Let's explore how to optimize your current investments and plan strategically to achieve your retirement goal of Rs. 10 crore.

Understanding Your Current Financial Situation
Monthly Income and Investment Allocation
You have a monthly income of Rs. 1 lakh. Your current investments are:

Rs. 21,000 in various mutual funds (Flexi cap, multicap, small cap, large cap).
Rs. 5,000 in NPS Tier 1.
Rs. 2,500 in NPS Tier 2.
Rs. 5,000 in PPF.
Rs. 6,500 SIP in smallcase stocks.
Rs. 37,500 in housing loan EMI.
This is a well-diversified portfolio, but let's delve deeper into each component to see if there are opportunities for optimization.

Evaluating Your Mutual Fund Portfolio
Distribution Across Funds
Investing Rs. 21,000 equally in four types of mutual funds is a good start. Here’s an analysis of each category:

Flexi Cap Funds
Flexi cap funds provide flexibility by investing in companies across market capitalizations. This can offer a balanced risk-return profile.

Multicap Funds
Multicap funds invest in large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap companies. This diversification can help mitigate risks associated with a particular segment.

Small Cap Funds
Small cap funds can provide high growth potential but come with higher risk. Ensure these investments align with your risk tolerance.

Large Cap Funds
Large cap funds are generally more stable and less volatile. They can provide steady returns with lower risk compared to small cap funds.

Recommendations for Mutual Funds
Consider reviewing the performance of each fund. Actively managed funds often outperform index funds, offering better returns. Working with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) can help you select the best-performing funds in each category.

National Pension System (NPS) Investment
Tier 1 and Tier 2 Accounts
NPS Tier 1 is a retirement account with tax benefits. Tier 2 is a voluntary account with more flexibility.

NPS Tier 1
Your Rs. 5,000 monthly contribution in NPS Tier 1 is good for long-term retirement savings. The tax benefits under Section 80CCD(1B) are an added advantage.

NPS Tier 2
NPS Tier 2 doesn't offer tax benefits but provides liquidity. If you're not using this fund frequently, consider whether the returns meet your expectations.

Maximizing NPS Benefits
Ensure your NPS portfolio is appropriately allocated between equity, corporate bonds, and government securities to balance risk and returns. Discuss with a CFP to optimize your asset allocation within NPS.

Public Provident Fund (PPF)
Long-Term Security
PPF is a safe investment with tax-free returns, ideal for long-term goals. Your Rs. 5,000 monthly contribution will grow steadily over time.

Recommendations
Continue contributing to PPF for its tax-free returns and stability. It provides a solid foundation for your retirement corpus.

Smallcase Stocks and Trading
SIP in Smallcase Stocks
Investing Rs. 6,500 monthly in smallcase stocks is a strategic move. Smallcases offer a curated basket of stocks, making stock investing simpler.

Trading Activities
Active trading can be risky and may lead to losses if not managed carefully. Given your past experience, consider limiting trading activities.

Recommendations
Focus on long-term investments over active trading. Use smallcases for diversified exposure to stocks, and avoid speculative trading.

Housing Loan EMI
Managing Debt
Your housing loan EMI of Rs. 37,500 is a significant monthly expense. Ensure that this loan doesn't hinder your investment capabilities.

Recommendations
Consider prepaying the housing loan if you have surplus funds. This can reduce interest outgo and free up cash flow for investments.

Strategies to Reach Rs. 10 Crore Retirement Corpus
Goal Setting and Time Horizon
You have around 23 years until a typical retirement age of 60. Here’s a strategic plan to achieve your goal:

Increase SIP Amount Gradually
As your income grows, increase your SIP amounts. Aim to invest at least 30-40% of your monthly income.

Diversify Across Asset Classes
Ensure a good mix of equity, debt, and alternative investments. This can help balance risk and returns.

Regular Review and Rebalancing
Monitor Portfolio Performance
Regularly review your portfolio’s performance. Rebalance your investments to maintain the desired asset allocation.

Seek Professional Advice
A CFP can help you navigate complex financial decisions and optimize your investment strategy.

Tax Efficiency
Utilize Tax Benefits
Maximize contributions to tax-saving instruments like PPF, NPS, and ELSS funds. This can reduce your taxable income and increase investable surplus.

Long-Term Capital Gains
Invest in equity instruments with a long-term perspective to benefit from lower capital gains tax.

Detailed Investment Plan
Equity Investments
Equities offer high growth potential. Allocate a significant portion of your portfolio to equity mutual funds and smallcases.

High Growth Funds
Focus on funds with a track record of high returns. Avoid index funds, as actively managed funds tend to perform better in the Indian market.

Regular Monitoring
Monitor the performance of equity funds regularly. Switch to better-performing funds if necessary.

Debt Investments
Debt instruments provide stability and regular income.

Balanced Portfolio
Include debt mutual funds, PPF, and NPS in your portfolio. This provides a safety net during market volatility.

Alternative Investments
Gold and Commodities
Consider investing in gold ETFs or commodities for diversification. Gold can act as a hedge against inflation.

International Funds
Invest in international funds for global exposure. This can diversify risk and provide opportunities in different markets.

Financial Discipline and Planning
Regular Savings and Investments
Consistently save and invest a portion of your income. Automate your investments to ensure regular contributions.

Emergency Fund
Maintain an emergency fund equivalent to 6-12 months of expenses. This can provide financial security during unforeseen events.

Insurance Coverage
Ensure adequate life and health insurance coverage. This protects your family and preserves your investments in case of emergencies.

Final Insights
Achieving a Rs. 10 crore retirement corpus is a commendable goal. Your current investment strategy is on the right track. However, optimizing your portfolio and increasing investments can accelerate your progress.

Work with a Certified Financial Planner to refine your investment strategy and ensure you are on the path to financial success. Regularly review your portfolio, stay disciplined with your investments, and make informed decisions to achieve your retirement goals.

Best regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6956 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 17, 2024

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Hi, i am 28yr old software engineer in Bangalore with 1.5lac/month inhand. I have ULIP of Rs 15000/month for 10yrs, it was started on 2021. 20k in SIP (1 largecap mf, 1hybrid mf, 2 small cap mf) with 5% stepup each year. I have edu loan of 5.5 lac @6%, 4.2lac left till date. Car loan emi 13000pm for 5yrs. I want to create corpus of 5cr in upcoming 5-10 yrs. Please suggest the way for this goal.
Ans: Assessing Your Financial Situation
You are a 28-year-old software engineer in Bangalore. Your current financial details are:

Monthly Salary: Rs. 1.5 lakhs (in hand)
ULIP: Rs. 15,000 per month for 10 years, started in 2021
SIPs: Rs. 20,000 per month in mutual funds with a 5% annual step-up
Education Loan: Rs. 4.2 lakhs remaining (6% interest rate)
Car Loan: Rs. 13,000 EMI per month for 5 years
Your goal is to create a corpus of Rs. 5 crores in the next 5-10 years.

Loan Management
First, manage your loans effectively. Paying off debts will free up funds for investments.

Education Loan: Pay off the remaining Rs. 4.2 lakhs as soon as possible. The interest rate is low, but eliminating debt increases your investment capacity.

Car Loan: Continue paying the Rs. 13,000 EMI. If possible, consider prepaying to reduce interest outgo.

Investment Strategy
To achieve your Rs. 5 crores goal, a disciplined and diversified investment approach is crucial.

Review and Optimize ULIP
ULIP: Assess the performance of your ULIP. If it is underperforming, consider surrendering it and reallocating funds to mutual funds. ULIPs often have high charges and lower returns compared to mutual funds.
Increase SIP Investments
SIPs: Continue and increase your SIPs. Currently, you invest Rs. 20,000 per month. With a 5% annual step-up, this amount will grow over time. Consider increasing the step-up percentage if possible.
Diversify Your Portfolio
A balanced portfolio is essential for achieving high returns with manageable risk.

Large-Cap Funds: These funds are stable and provide consistent returns.
Hybrid Funds: These offer a balance of equity and debt.
Small-Cap Funds: These have higher growth potential but are riskier.
Additional Investments
Equity Mutual Funds: Invest more in equity mutual funds for long-term growth.
Direct Equity: Since you are learning about blue-chip stocks, consider investing directly in them.
Asset Allocation and Diversification
A well-diversified portfolio reduces risk and enhances returns. Here’s a suggested allocation:

Equity (Mutual Funds and Stocks): 70%
Debt (FDs and Debt Funds): 20%
ULIP: 10% (if you choose to continue)
Active Management vs. Direct Funds
Actively Managed Funds
Benefits: Professional fund managers aim to outperform the market. They adjust the portfolio based on market conditions.
Direct Funds
Disadvantages: Direct funds may have lower expense ratios, but they require constant monitoring. Investing through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) offers personalized advice and regular monitoring.
Regular Review and Adjustments
Regularly review your investment portfolio. Adjust based on market conditions and performance.

Annual Review: Check the performance of your funds and make necessary adjustments.
Rebalancing: Ensure your portfolio maintains the desired asset allocation.
Final Insights
Achieving a corpus of Rs. 5 crores in 5-10 years is ambitious but feasible. Focus on managing your loans first. Optimize your ULIP investment. Increase your SIP contributions and diversify your portfolio. Consider additional investments in equity mutual funds and direct equity. Regularly review and adjust your investments with the help of a Certified Financial Planner. With disciplined investing and regular monitoring, you can achieve your financial goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6956 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 24, 2024

Money
Hello sir im 36 years old have one mod studying 3rd grade i have salary of 3L and below are my wealth accumulation. Mutual Funds: 38Lakhs Stocks: 9 Lakhs PF: 30 Lakhs ESOP: 1.5 Cr House: 2 house (80L & 50L) My monthly investment details below Mutual funds: 80K Stocks: 50K LIC: 6K I want to create a corpus of 10 Cr in next 10 years. How can i acheive this.
Ans: Creating a corpus of Rs 10 crore in the next ten years is an ambitious goal. It's achievable with a strategic plan. Let's break down your current situation and create a plan to help you reach your financial objectives. Your existing investments and monthly contributions will play a crucial role in this journey.

Evaluating Current Investments
First, let's review your current investments:

Mutual Funds: Rs 38 lakhs

Stocks: Rs 9 lakhs

Provident Fund (PF): Rs 30 lakhs

Employee Stock Ownership Plan (ESOP): Rs 1.5 crores

House Properties: Rs 80 lakhs and Rs 50 lakhs

You also invest Rs 80,000 in mutual funds and Rs 50,000 in stocks monthly. You pay Rs 6,000 towards LIC premiums.

Assessing Monthly Investments
You are already investing a significant amount each month. This is commendable. However, to meet your Rs 10 crore target in 10 years, you need to optimize your investment strategy.

Mutual Funds
You have Rs 38 lakhs in mutual funds and invest Rs 80,000 monthly. Mutual funds are a great way to accumulate wealth over the long term. However, it's crucial to choose the right funds. Actively managed funds, rather than index funds, might be more suitable for achieving higher returns due to professional management and potential for better performance.

Disadvantages of Index Funds
Index funds might seem appealing due to lower costs, but they have limitations. They simply track market indexes, limiting their potential for higher returns. Actively managed funds have fund managers who make strategic decisions to outperform the market. Though they come with higher fees, the potential for better returns can outweigh these costs.

Benefits of Actively Managed Funds
Actively managed funds offer several advantages. Experienced fund managers actively select investments, aiming to outperform the market. They adapt to market changes, making strategic decisions. This dynamic approach can potentially yield higher returns compared to the passive strategy of index funds.

Stocks
You have Rs 9 lakhs in stocks and invest Rs 50,000 monthly. Stocks can offer high returns but come with higher risks. Diversifying your stock investments can reduce risk. Consider investing in stocks with strong growth potential and good track records.

Provident Fund (PF)
Your provident fund is a stable investment, providing safety and steady growth. With Rs 30 lakhs, it forms a secure base in your portfolio. However, its returns are lower compared to equity investments. It’s wise to maintain this for stability but focus more on high-growth investments.

Employee Stock Ownership Plan (ESOP)
Your ESOP worth Rs 1.5 crores is a significant asset. However, it's important to monitor the company's performance closely. Diversifying some of these holdings into other investment avenues can mitigate risks associated with company-specific factors.

House Properties
You own two houses valued at Rs 80 lakhs and Rs 50 lakhs. Real estate is a tangible asset but might not offer the liquidity needed for your goal. Consider maintaining them for stability, but focus more on liquid and high-return investments like mutual funds and stocks.

Reviewing LIC Policies
You pay Rs 6,000 monthly towards LIC policies. Traditional LIC policies offer lower returns compared to mutual funds. Consider surrendering these policies and redirecting the premiums into high-growth mutual funds. This can enhance your wealth accumulation potential.

Optimizing Monthly Investments
Let's look at optimizing your monthly investments. Currently, you invest Rs 1.36 lakhs monthly in various assets. Here's a suggested approach:

Mutual Funds: Continue investing Rs 80,000. Ensure these are in actively managed equity funds with a strong track record.

Stocks: Continue investing Rs 50,000, focusing on well-researched, high-growth stocks.

LIC: Consider redirecting Rs 6,000 from LIC premiums to mutual funds.

Strategic Investment Plan
Achieving Rs 10 crore in 10 years requires a focused strategy. Here are key steps:

Regular Review and Rebalancing: Regularly review your portfolio. Rebalance it annually to maintain the desired asset allocation. This helps in optimizing returns and managing risks.

Tax Efficiency: Invest in tax-efficient instruments. Use tax-saving mutual funds (ELSS) to reduce your taxable income under Section 80C.

Emergency Fund: Maintain an emergency fund covering 6-12 months of expenses. This ensures you don't need to liquidate long-term investments during emergencies.

Diversification: Diversify across different asset classes. This reduces risk and improves potential returns. Invest in a mix of equities, debt, and other assets.

Regular Funds vs Direct Funds
Direct funds might seem attractive due to lower expense ratios, but they require active management. Investing through a Certified Financial Planner ensures professional management and guidance. Regular funds come with the benefit of expert advice and monitoring, which can be crucial in optimizing returns and achieving financial goals.

Monitoring Progress
Track your investment performance regularly. Ensure that your portfolio is on track to meet your Rs 10 crore goal. Adjust your strategy based on market conditions and personal circumstances.

Risk Management
Managing risks is essential. Diversify your investments and avoid over-concentration in any single asset. Consider investing in different sectors and geographies to spread risk.

Retirement Planning
Consider your retirement goals as well. Ensure that your investments align with your long-term retirement plans. This ensures financial stability beyond your 10-year goal.

Children's Education
Plan for your child's education. Set aside funds specifically for this purpose. Education costs can be substantial, and planning early ensures you are financially prepared.

Final Insights
Achieving a Rs 10 crore corpus in 10 years is challenging but feasible. Your current investments and monthly contributions are a strong foundation. By optimizing your investment strategy, focusing on high-growth assets, and managing risks, you can reach your financial goal.

Regularly reviewing your portfolio and making necessary adjustments is crucial. Seek professional advice when needed and stay committed to your investment plan.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Latest Questions
Milind

Milind Vadjikar  |577 Answers  |Ask -

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Nov 04, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 04, 2024Hindi
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Money
What are different types of annuity plans. Do we have plan which gives fixed income till I live and then principle is return to my nominee. If I have 3 Cr , what max return per month I can get ? And is this tax free ?
Ans: Hello;

Annuities are types of plans where you make a lump sum payment and get a regular income for a certain period of time or for life.

There are primarily two types of annuities:

1. Immediate annuity
This is a type of annuity plan that provides you with a guaranteed regular income immediately after you pay the lump sum premium.

2. Deferred annuity
In a deferred annuity plan, your income starts at a later date and you can choose when you want the regular income to start.

Based on type of regular monthly payments annuities could also be classified as Fixed annuity and Variable annuity.

Below are the various options available in an annuity plan:

A. Life annuity: In this option, you receive annuity for life. The frequency of payments is usually pre-decided by you at the time of the purchase of the policy.

B. Joint life annuity: This is similar to a life annuity. In this option, you receive annuity payments for life. In your absence, your spouse continues to receive annuity payments for life.

C. Life annuity with return of purchase price: This provides you annuity payments for life. In case of an unfortunate event, your nominee will receive the amount you paid at the time of the purchase of the policy.

D. Annuity payable for a pre-decided term: This provides you the option to choose the duration for which you would want to receive annuity payments. The period can be 5 years, 10 years, or more.

Yes plans are available which can pay provide you fixed income and return of purchase price (principle) to your nominee.

With 3 Cr corpus you may expect 1.5 L (pre-tax) per month payout considering 6% annuity rate. This varies from company to company and if you shop around you may get a better rate then the one considered here.

This is like pension income and is taxable income as per your age and income slab.

Best wishes;

...Read more

Dr Dipankar

Dr Dipankar Dutta  |675 Answers  |Ask -

Tech Careers and Skill Development Expert - Answered on Nov 04, 2024

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |389 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 04, 2024

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thank you for the reply madam, actually what's bothering me a lot is , i told to my alliance guy to stop marriage from his end only. but he not at all doing that and he is not even telling anyone that i told him No. Why he is behaving like this and proceeding to get married to me even after saying no? isn't this strange!
Ans: in many arranged situations, people sometimes feel a strong pressure to fulfill family expectations, and he may feel a sense of obligation to go through with the marriage regardless of personal feelings. He might be hesitant to be the one to break things off for fear of disappointing his family or even creating tension between the families involved. In some cases, individuals hesitate because they hope the other person might eventually change their mind, and they don’t want to be the one to let go prematurely.

Another possibility is that he could be uncertain or confused about what he truly wants. Even though you told him you weren’t interested, he might feel that it’s not a firm "no" and could be holding out hope or misinterpreting your intent. If he has strong feelings for you or sees the marriage as something that will eventually work, he may be hoping things will naturally fall into place if he just stays committed to the process.

To address this, it might be helpful to have a very clear, direct conversation with him. Let him know that you respect him and appreciate his consideration, but you’re certain about your decision and want him to honor it as well. If possible, express that you’re confident this decision is best for both of you and explain why you believe it would be more respectful for him to communicate this with both families.

In the end, staying true to your feelings is the right choice, even if it means repeatedly setting boundaries. It’s completely fair to expect him to respect your decision, and sometimes it does take a bit of firmness to ensure everyone is on the same page. Trust yourself in this decision; you know what’s best for you.

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |389 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 04, 2024

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Relationship
He rejected me but still went to my class to see me one glance.Before Our last class I said him to meet with me I want to say you something.He came to meet with me but he was too late and our tiffin break time is over so I don't say anything to him. We just looking each other for some seconds.Then I said him if you want you can go .He don't go instantly.He looking at me for while and then go to his class.Whenever he sees me he start blushing and feel nervous.Many times I found him staring at me.He is a introvert guy .But still when we met with each other he making eye contact with me. My question is if he doesn't love me how can he maintain eye contact with me like this .He is not that handsome but he is really good student.I truly love him and Cried a lot for him but he don't know anything.I texted him sometimes but he don't look interested.But always I see him I feel like he have also feelings for me .His eyes tell me he love me but he rejected me .Why?. I can't able to forget him .I tried to my best to forget him but I failed . What should I do now?I really badly want to know his feelings for me because if he sees me only as a friend he doesn't go to my class to see me a glance.Why he blushing around me? How to know his true feelings?What should I do?How to forget or get him? I'm clueless.Please help me????????
Ans: It sounds like you’re dealing with a complicated mix of emotions, and the signals you’re picking up from him are understandably confusing. From everything you’ve described, it seems that he has a genuine respect and perhaps a friendly affection for you, but he may not be sure of or ready to pursue a romantic connection. Introverts, especially, can be complex; they may struggle to express their feelings, and small gestures, like making eye contact or blushing, might be signs of nervousness rather than attraction. This doesn’t mean he doesn’t appreciate or like you—it simply means he may be holding back, perhaps because of his own personal reasons or boundaries.

His rejection, though, is an important thing to consider. Often, when someone clearly communicates that they don’t feel the same way, it’s best to respect that as his truth for now, even if he seems to act otherwise sometimes. I understand this can be very hard, especially when you feel so strongly for him. But you need to protect your own feelings, too, and holding on to small signs might only add to your hurt and confusion.

If you feel it’s absolutely necessary to know how he truly feels, one approach could be to have a simple, direct conversation. Explain to him, in a calm and open way, that you value his friendship and respect his initial decision, but you’d appreciate clarity because lingering uncertainty is making it hard for you to move on. However, be prepared for any outcome. If he reaffirms his feelings of friendship only, try to accept that as his final answer.

In the meantime, put some of your focus back onto yourself. I know it sounds easier said than done, but investing energy in your interests, your growth, and friendships that uplift you can really help you feel less reliant on what he may or may not feel. Surround yourself with supportive people who remind you of your worth and help you feel loved and valued.

Love and connection should make you feel secure, cherished, and clear about where you stand. By focusing on yourself and letting him be, you’ll naturally create space for clarity—and eventually, perhaps, for someone whose feelings for you are just as strong and straightforward as yours are for them.

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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