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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7271 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 08, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jul 08, 2024Hindi
Money

I am 52 years old. My current salary is 1.40 lacs per month. I will retire at 60. I dont any loan in my name. My both childrens are dping job. I am iving in rental house. Want to get regular income of Rs 2 lacs per month after retirement. Plz suggest investment to achive the goal.

Ans: Firstly, congratulations on being financially disciplined and having no loans. Living in a rental house and planning for a secure retirement shows great foresight. Your focus on achieving a regular income post-retirement is commendable.

Overview of Current Situation
Age: 52 years old
Salary: Rs. 1.40 lakhs per month
Retirement Age: 60 years
Dependents: None (both children are employed)
Current Residence: Rental house
Loans: None
Goal: Rs. 2 Lakhs Monthly Payout After Retirement
Your goal is to secure a regular income of Rs. 2 lakhs per month after retirement. Let’s devise a plan to achieve this.

Investment Strategy
Mutual Funds: The Power of Compounding
Mutual funds are a crucial component of your investment strategy. They offer the benefits of diversification, professional management, and the power of compounding.

Advantages of Mutual Funds:

Diversification: Spread risk across various sectors and companies.
Professional Management: Expert fund managers handle your investments.
Liquidity: Easy to buy and sell units.
Systematic Investment Plans (SIPs): Regular investment helps in rupee cost averaging.
Categories of Mutual Funds:

Equity Funds: High returns but higher risk. Suitable for long-term growth.
Debt Funds: Lower risk, stable returns. Ideal for stability and income.
Hybrid Funds: Mix of equity and debt. Balanced growth and risk.
Recommendation:

Equity Mutual Funds: Invest a significant portion in equity mutual funds for long-term growth. They have the potential for high returns.
Debt Mutual Funds: Allocate a portion to debt funds for stability and regular income. They provide a cushion against market volatility.
Hybrid Mutual Funds: Consider hybrid funds for a balanced approach. They offer growth potential with reduced risk.
Shares: Active Management and Dividend Income
Investing in shares can provide high returns and dividend income. Active management of your stock portfolio is essential.

Advantages of Direct Stocks:

Potential for High Returns: Direct exposure to company performance.
Dividend Income: Additional cash flow from dividends.
Recommendation:

Diversification: Diversify your stock portfolio across sectors to mitigate risk.
Blue-Chip Stocks: Invest in blue-chip companies for stability and growth.
Regular Review: Stay updated with market trends and company performance.
Fixed Deposits and Bonds: Stability and Security
Fixed deposits (FDs) and bonds are safe investment options providing stability and security.

Advantages:

Safety: Low-risk investment options.
Fixed Returns: Predictable interest income.
Recommendation:

Fixed Deposits: Maintain a portion of your savings in FDs for safety and liquidity.
Bonds: Consider investing in government or high-rated corporate bonds for regular interest income.
Insurance and Guaranteed Schemes
Having adequate insurance cover is crucial for financial security. Guaranteed schemes provide assured returns.

Advantages:

Financial Security: Protects against unforeseen events.
Guaranteed Returns: Assured maturity amount for planned goals.
Recommendation:

Insurance: Ensure you have sufficient life and health insurance cover.
Guaranteed Schemes: Invest in schemes offering guaranteed returns for a secure future.
Liquid Assets: Emergency Fund
Maintaining liquid assets (FD, gold, RD) ensures you have an emergency fund.

Advantages:

Liquidity: Easily accessible in emergencies.
Security: Safe investment options.
Recommendation:

Emergency Fund: Keep an emergency fund equivalent to 6-12 months of expenses.
Liquid Investments: Invest surplus liquid assets in mutual funds or stocks for higher returns.
Financial Planning for Monthly Payout
Estimating Future Needs
To achieve a monthly payout of Rs. 2 lakhs after retirement, we need a well-structured plan. Let’s explore different strategies.

Systematic Withdrawal Plans (SWP)
SWPs from mutual funds can provide regular income post-retirement.

Advantages:

Regular Income: Monthly payouts.
Tax Efficiency: Lower tax on long-term capital gains.
Recommendation:

SWP: Invest a portion of your corpus in mutual funds with SWP options. Choose funds with a good track record and stable returns.
Dividend Income
Your stock portfolio can generate regular dividend income.

Recommendation:

Dividend-Paying Stocks: Invest in dividend-paying stocks. Reinvest dividends for compounding benefits.
Interest Income from Fixed Deposits and Bonds
Fixed deposits and bonds can provide regular interest income.

Recommendation:

Interest Income: Use interest from FDs and bonds as a part of your regular income.
Rental Income Management
If you decide to invest in rental properties, manage rental income effectively.

Recommendation:

Rental Properties: Ensure timely rent collection and regular reviews of rental agreements.
Additional Income Streams
Explore additional income streams to supplement your monthly payout.

Options:

Consulting: Use your expertise for consulting roles.
Part-Time Work: Explore flexible, part-time opportunities.
Risk Management and Diversification
Diversifying Investments
Diversify across asset classes to manage risk.

Recommendation:

Asset Allocation: Balance between equity, debt, and other investments. Regularly review and rebalance your portfolio.
Risk Assessment
Assess and manage risks associated with your investments.

Recommendation:

Stay Informed: Keep abreast of market trends. Consult with a Certified Financial Planner for regular reviews.
Final Insights
Your disciplined approach and diversified portfolio are impressive. With careful planning, you can achieve your goal of Rs. 2 lakhs monthly payout after retirement. Continue leveraging mutual funds, stocks, and other investments. Regularly review your portfolio with a Certified Financial Planner to ensure you stay on track.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7271 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 17, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 16, 2024Hindi
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Hi, I plan to retire in 2 yrs time .im 53 now . I will have a corpus of 4 crores by that time. If i need to get an income of 1 lac , what are possibilities of investment. I have no liabilities in terms of any loans . My wife is a homemaker and my son will be in his first year of engineering this year and i Have set across separate funds for his education
Ans: Planning for Retirement Income
Congratulations on nearing retirement with a substantial corpus. Generating a steady income of ?1 lakh per month from a ?4 crore corpus is achievable with careful planning. Let's explore some investment possibilities to achieve this goal.

Diversified Investment Strategy
A diversified investment strategy can help manage risk and provide a steady income. Consider a mix of the following:

Fixed Deposits and Debt Funds
Fixed Deposits (FDs) and debt funds offer stability and guaranteed returns. Allocate a portion of your corpus to FDs and high-quality debt funds to ensure a reliable income stream. Debt funds, especially short-term and ultra-short-term funds, offer better liquidity and tax efficiency compared to FDs.

Systematic Withdrawal Plans (SWPs) from Mutual Funds
Mutual Funds, particularly hybrid funds (balanced funds), can provide growth and income. Using a Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP) from these funds allows you to withdraw a fixed amount regularly. This method can offer both capital appreciation and regular income. Opt for funds with a good track record and consistent performance.

Monthly Income Schemes (MIS)
Post Office Monthly Income Scheme (POMIS) is a government-backed investment offering a fixed monthly income. It is a low-risk investment, suitable for retirees seeking guaranteed returns. The interest rates are periodically revised, and it provides assured returns.

Dividend-paying Stocks and Equity Funds
Investing in dividend-paying stocks or equity mutual funds with a focus on dividend yields can provide regular income. Although dividends are subject to market risks, selecting well-established companies with a history of stable dividends can be beneficial.

Senior Citizens’ Saving Scheme (SCSS)
SCSS is a government-backed savings instrument specifically for senior citizens. It offers attractive interest rates and provides regular quarterly interest payments. The current interest rates are attractive, making it a viable option for a portion of your corpus.

Balanced Portfolio Allocation
To achieve an income of ?1 lakh per month, a balanced portfolio allocation is crucial. Here is a suggested allocation:

Fixed Deposits and Debt Funds: 30-40% for stability and guaranteed returns.

SWPs from Mutual Funds: 30-40% for growth and regular income.

Dividend-paying Stocks and Equity Funds: 20-30% for potential growth and dividend income.

Annuities and SCSS: 20-30% for guaranteed income.

Assessing Risk Tolerance
Evaluate your risk tolerance. Given your proximity to retirement, it’s advisable to lean towards conservative investments. However, a small exposure to equities can help combat inflation and provide capital growth.

Monitoring and Rebalancing
Regularly monitor and rebalance your portfolio. As you withdraw from your investments, it’s essential to review their performance and adjust allocations to maintain a balanced risk and return profile.

Consulting a Certified Financial Planner
Consulting a Certified Financial Planner can provide personalized advice tailored to your financial situation. They can help optimize your portfolio, ensuring it aligns with your risk tolerance and income requirements.

Conclusion
With a well-planned investment strategy, achieving a monthly income of ?1 lakh is feasible. Diversify your investments, assess your risk tolerance, and consult a Certified Financial Planner for tailored advice. Your diligent savings and thoughtful planning will help you enjoy a comfortable retirement.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7271 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 11, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 24, 2024Hindi
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Money
I will retire in 3 years ,in june 2027 & will have a corpus of around 3.5 Cr invested in PPF, EPF ,Supper Annuation Fund & MF . I live in my own flat ,currently market value of Rs 1.8 Cr . I also have an inherited flat from my parent valued at Rs80 lakhs . I need a monthly income of Rs 2.0 lacs after retirement . Please suggest way to invest
Ans: Congratulations on your impending retirement and the substantial corpus you've accumulated across various investment avenues. Planning for a comfortable post-retirement income is essential, and I'm here to offer guidance on how to achieve your financial goals.

With a corpus of around 3.5 crores invested in PPF, EPF, Superannuation Fund, and mutual funds, you have a solid foundation for retirement. Additionally, owning your own flat with a market value of Rs. 1.8 crores and an inherited flat valued at Rs. 80 lakhs provides further financial security.

To generate a monthly income of Rs. 2.0 lakhs after retirement, you'll need to ensure your investments are structured to provide a consistent stream of income while preserving capital for the long term.

Given your investment horizon of 3 years until retirement, it's crucial to adopt a balanced approach that combines both growth and income-generating assets. Here are some suggestions:

Dividend-Paying Mutual Funds: Allocate a portion of your corpus towards dividend-paying mutual funds, focusing on both equity and debt funds. These funds provide regular income through dividend payouts while also offering the potential for capital appreciation.

Systematic Withdrawal Plans (SWP): Consider setting up SWPs from your mutual fund investments to meet your monthly income requirement post-retirement. SWPs allow you to withdraw a fixed amount periodically, ensuring a steady stream of income while keeping your investments intact.

Rental Income: Utilize the rental income from your inherited flat to supplement your monthly income post-retirement. If feasible, you may also explore renting out a portion of your own flat to generate additional income.

Fixed Deposits and Bonds: Allocate a portion of your corpus towards fixed deposits and bonds to provide stability and ensure liquidity. Opt for instruments with varying maturities to create a ladder that aligns with your income needs.

Real Estate Investment Trusts (REITs): Consider investing in REITs, which offer exposure to income-generating commercial real estate properties. REITs provide regular dividends and the potential for capital appreciation, enhancing your overall income stream.

Regular Review and Adjustment: Regularly review your investment portfolio and make necessary adjustments to ensure it remains aligned with your financial goals and risk tolerance. Consider consulting with a Certified Financial Planner to optimize your investment strategy and navigate the complexities of retirement planning.

By diversifying your investment portfolio across multiple asset classes and implementing income-generating strategies, you can work towards achieving your goal of a monthly income of Rs. 2.0 lakhs post-retirement.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7271 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Oct 14, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 14, 2024Hindi
Money
My salary 2.4 lac per month. I am 42 my wife and two son comprising of my family. One son is in 5th standard and other yet to start education. I have 2 house emis of 1.6 lacs of which one generates rent of 40k per month. Have around 50 lacs in investment comprising of 20lac in ppf and rest in stocks and sips and mfs. Only have company health insurance and no term insurance. Schooling cost is 1.2 lacs per annum. Rest expenses includes holiday every 6 months and daily needs. Please help me sort out investment to ensure I can generate enough to retire in next 10 years?
Ans: You have a solid foundation, and it’s commendable that you are managing two home loans while balancing various investments. Your monthly salary of Rs 2.4 lakhs and an EMI burden of Rs 1.6 lakhs shows you are carrying significant financial responsibility. However, generating Rs 40,000 from rent is helping reduce the impact of your EMIs.

Key highlights:

Monthly salary: Rs 2.4 lakhs
Two house EMIs: Rs 1.6 lakhs
Rent: Rs 40,000 per month
Investment portfolio: Rs 50 lakhs (Rs 20 lakhs in PPF, rest in stocks, SIPs, and MFs)
Annual schooling cost: Rs 1.2 lakhs
Other expenses: Holiday every 6 months, daily needs
No term insurance
Company health insurance only
While you have done well to invest Rs 50 lakhs, the lack of term insurance and the heavy EMI burden may be areas for improvement. Your goal of retiring in 10 years is achievable, but some adjustments will be necessary to optimize your portfolio and secure a comfortable future.

Investment Strategy Review
Let’s break down your current investments to better align them with your retirement goal in the next 10 years.

PPF (Public Provident Fund) - Rs 20 Lakhs
The PPF is a safe, long-term investment with tax benefits, but its returns are relatively modest. Over the next 10 years, this will continue to grow at a steady pace.

Action Plan:

Keep contributing to your PPF but avoid putting additional large sums.
PPF should be treated as part of your safe, low-risk portfolio.
Stocks, SIPs, and Mutual Funds (Rest of Rs 30 Lakhs)
Your exposure to equities through stocks and mutual funds will help you generate growth, but it needs diversification and regular review. SIPs in actively managed funds are ideal for long-term goals like retirement.

Action Plan:

Actively managed mutual funds: Ensure that the mutual funds you are invested in are diversified across sectors and are actively managed.
Avoid direct funds: Regular funds provide better tracking and advice from an MFD with CFP credentials, which is crucial for your long-term planning.
Review your stock portfolio: Individual stocks carry more risk than mutual funds. It is wise to regularly assess performance and sell off underperforming stocks.
Balance with debt funds: Include some debt funds for stability, especially as you approach your retirement goal.
Rental Income from Property
Your rental income of Rs 40,000 per month is a significant contributor to offset your EMIs. While real estate is not recommended as a new investment option, your existing property generating income can support your cash flow needs.

Action Plan:

Rent reassessment: Ensure you are getting market rent or consider raising it over time to adjust for inflation.
No additional real estate investments: Avoid tying more capital into real estate. Focus on growing your financial portfolio instead.
Critical Areas for Improvement
1. Lack of Term Insurance
It’s essential to secure your family’s future in case of any unexpected event. Currently, you do not have term insurance, which is a vital part of any financial plan.

Action Plan:

Immediate term insurance: Buy a term plan covering at least 10-12 times your annual income. This will ensure your family is financially secure if something happens to you.
2. Health Insurance Coverage
You rely on company-provided health insurance. This is risky, as you may lose coverage if you switch jobs or retire early. Having separate family health insurance will ensure consistent protection.

Action Plan:

Buy individual health insurance: Get family floater health insurance with adequate coverage for your entire family, ensuring lifelong renewability.
Supplemental critical illness cover: Consider adding critical illness coverage to protect against major health expenses.
3. EMI Management
You have significant EMIs totaling Rs 1.6 lakhs per month. While one property generates rental income, the overall EMI burden is high. Managing this will be crucial for freeing up cash flow for further investments.

Action Plan:

Prepay EMIs: Any surplus income should go toward prepaying your loans, starting with the one without rental income. Reducing this burden will ease your cash flow.
No additional loans: Avoid taking on any further debt to ensure your financial plan stays on track.
Retirement Planning
You aim to retire in 10 years, at age 52. With your current lifestyle and goals, your investments will need to provide enough to cover your post-retirement expenses. Here’s a strategy to ensure a comfortable retirement:

1. Estimate Future Expenses
Your current schooling costs are Rs 1.2 lakhs per year, and other living expenses include vacations and daily needs. Over the next 10 years, expenses will increase due to inflation, and you must account for these future costs when planning your retirement.

Action Plan:

Create a detailed budget: Track all your current expenses and project them for the next 10 years, considering inflation. This will give you a clearer picture of your financial needs after retirement.
2. Build a Retirement Corpus
With 10 years to go, you will need to create a solid retirement corpus. The Rs 50 lakhs you currently have, along with further investments, will need to grow substantially. Here’s how to optimize this growth:

Action Plan:

Increase SIP contributions: Start contributing more to your SIPs as soon as your EMI burden reduces. A higher SIP contribution in actively managed mutual funds will provide better growth potential over the next decade.
Diversify investments: Include a mix of large-cap, mid-cap, and flexi-cap funds to ensure a balanced risk-return profile. Actively managed funds, especially those recommended by a certified financial planner, will perform better than index funds or ETFs.
Regular portfolio review: Work with a certified financial planner to review your portfolio annually. Ensure your funds are performing as expected and make necessary adjustments.
3. Plan for Post-Retirement Income
After retirement, you will need a reliable source of income to meet your monthly expenses. Your investments must be structured to provide regular income, adjusted for inflation.

Action Plan:

Systematic Withdrawal Plans (SWP): Set up SWPs in mutual funds to provide a regular, inflation-adjusted income post-retirement.
Emergency Fund: Set aside a portion of your corpus in a liquid fund for emergencies. This will ensure you don’t have to liquidate long-term investments prematurely.
Final Insights
To achieve your goal of retiring in 10 years, you will need to fine-tune your investment strategy and reduce your EMI burden. Your current investments, while substantial, require diversification and a focus on growth-oriented funds.

Additionally, securing term insurance and individual health insurance is critical for protecting your family’s future. By prepaying your loans and increasing SIP contributions over time, you will be better positioned to build a retirement corpus capable of supporting your post-retirement lifestyle.

Finally, always remember that regular reviews with a certified financial planner are key to staying on track and adjusting for any changes in your financial situation.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

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Asked by Anonymous - Dec 16, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
We had been Dating since our College days & had a Love Marriage almost 2 Decades ago. My Wife had always been the Dominant one in the Relationship, while I had always been Soft-spoken. She is also much more Capable than me, in terms of Academic as well as Professional Competence, and also very Ambitious. These are some of the Qualities which I always admired in her. Over the years of our Marriage, I had to Compromise on my own Professional Growth, in order to support her Professional Growth. She has a Transferable Job, so I have taken up a Work-from-Home Job which pays much lesser, but allows more flexibility in timings, just to support her Professional Growth, I had given up much better opportunities. I have been literally living like a Stay-at-Home Husband, doing almost all the Household chores & also taking care of both our Children. I have no complaints about any of this, I am doing all this, just because I Love my Wife. My Wife too Loves me a lot, but doesn't seem to Respect me. She feels ashamed to introduce me to her Colleagues in her Office Parties. She often puts me down, in the presence of her Friends & Relatives. She asks others (her Friends, Colleagues & Relatives) for advice, even in matters relating to our Personal Life & gives more importance to their Opinions, compared to mine & has taken several big Decisions, without my Consent/Agreement. She doesn't bother telling me anything about her whereabouts & her Finances. While at Home, she Orders me around like a Boss & talks to me in a Condescending manner. Seeing her attitude, even our Servant Maid, Driver, Watchman & our Teenaged Children also don't treat me with due Respect. Our Neighbours, laugh at me behind my back. I have been Tolerating all this since many Years only because I Love my Wife so much. Many times, I tried to convey my concerns to her but she used to invalidate my feelings, labelling them as my 'Insecurity' or 'Male Ego' even though I never had either of those. She seems to have more time for her Partying with her Colleagues & Friends, rather than having a Productive Discussion with me about my Feelings. Now I am feeling Saturated. I need to do something to Earn Respect from my Wife, Children & the Society as I have realised that my Wife is not up for anything like Couples Counseling & I wouldn't be able to discuss my Feelings with anyone else (almost everyone I know, Respects her more than me). Please give me some Suggestions as to what can I do to become more Respectable in the Eyes of my Wife, Children & our Social Circle?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It's heart warming to know that you eased into a role that usually can be not a very 'manly' thing to do. But I guess somewhere your wife has begun to enjoy her dominant status; let me tell you...that part is not easy on a man...
You just adapted to it and slowly, it has begun to erode your self-esteem...
Assume the role that will bring back your self-worth; this will mean actually a career, bringing money home, taking care of your responsibilities as a husband and father. This will also mean a step back from what you are doing at home now...
Your wife may not want the extra chores that you had to drop off and there's bound to be some skirmishes; but better to take all this head on rather than skirt around the issue.
Slowly and steadily inch towards a space where the two of you are equal partners without anyone dominating the other.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

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Anu Krishna  |1402 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 17, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 14, 2024Hindi
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Recently, we had an Arranged Marriage. Before committing for the Marriage, we had a few Months of Courtship Period & got to understand each other well. He seemed to be a very Loving & Caring Person. Once, He asked me whether I was Virgin, I lied saying that I was, because I didn't want to lose such a Wonderful Guy. On our Wedding Night, he got Suspicious as I didn't bleed. Upon further Interrogation, I broke down & confessed the Truth that I had been Sexually Active in my previous Relationships, before getting Married to him. He got Disappointed as he felt Cheated & Betrayed. Since then, he's been sleeping in a seperate Room & not even talking to me properly, there's no Romance between us, at all. He'd also cancelled our Honeymoon Trip to Bali. He comes Home late, often having eaten out, doesn't ask me anything about my Day or even Care about me at all. He's become quite opposite of what he was, during our Courtship Period. Many times, I've tried to break the Ice & build some Chemistry between us, but he told me that he lost all Feelings for me, and he wouldn't even Care if I left him & his House for Good. He was Ready to give me a Divorce, if I wanted to Leave him. But I don't want to throw away this Marriage, I want to try & make it work, but there's no Cooperation at all from his side. He blatantly refused to go for Marriage Counseling with me. In the presence of other Family Members, he tries to act like a normal Husband, just to maintain his image in the Society. But when we both are alone at Home, he acts as if I don't even exist. Now I am getting frustrated, I don't understand what to do? I don't regret all that I did in my Past, I had the Right to Enjoy my Life, when I was Young & Unmarried & I don't owe any Explanation to anyone, about my Past. Now I feel I am being treated too Coldly just for a little White Lie. Did I really do something so Wrong that I don't even deserve to be Loved by the Person, I Married? If it leads to a Divorce, we both have got a lot to lose out on, hence I am trying to avoid the extreme Decision. But I don't have any idea as to how our Marriage can be Repaired & Rejuvenated, when my Husband is not at all interested in the Marriage? Please advise me what to do.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
If you understand him, your virginity meant a lot to him...that was one of his core beliefs that one preserves their virginity until marriage. Now, he feels cheated as what he believes in has gone against him. It seems very old-fashioned to want the bride to 'bleed' on the first night and conclude that she isn't pure...I get your point, but that are his values...
Can he change and actually look at things differently and save the marriage? YES only if he wants to...he has to commit to it...

For you, the fear of losing him made you hide the fact. Who's right and who isn't? Neither! It's all a matter of the way you look at it; each one will hold their impressions as the truth. So, he's holding onto what he feels is his truth and unwilling to budge and make the marriage work. What can you do? Perhaps apologize for hurting him; he is hurt and angry, isn't it?

It may seem trivial and foolish to you that he gives this so much importance in this day and age. You can't shake people off their beliefs. Anything that you hide eventually comes to bite you; so act wisely...
- talk to him about how you feel about him and the marriage
- tell him what he means to you and why you hid the facts that was most important to him
- lastly apologize to him from your heart

All this may seem 'going over the top' BUT hey, you wish to make the marriage work, right? At times, going that extreme bit can bring back things...So, if there's a 'Feminist' side of you that seems to disagree, keep that at bay for a while and ask: Do I want the marriage?
If YES, then do what it takes...

All the best!
Dear Likitha,
Please download the whatsapp chats and try and get the recording of the phone calls. When your husband denies and says she is just a friend, these things that you collect will be the only proof to actually prove what you are saying. I know this is hard to do but what other way do you have? He does not want to admit what he is doing...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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