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How can I retire comfortably at 55 with no extra income and a 50k monthly goal?

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7510 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 27, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jul 22, 2024Hindi
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I am 48 years old. I owe a small house and a car without any loan. My monthly income is 50 thousand per month. Daughter is pursuing Graduation and son in 8th standard. I am having medi claim, and 50 lakh term plan. Fixed deposits ( Bank and Post office). Worth Rs 40 lakh. My monthly expenses is parallel to my income. No extra source of income. Want to retire by 55 . Not having high dreams need 50 thousand per month after retirement through my savings. Pls guide

Ans: Assessing Your Current Financial Situation
At 48, planning for retirement by 55 is prudent. You have a small house, a car, and no loans. Your monthly income is Rs 50,000, with equivalent expenses. You have Rs 40 lakh in fixed deposits, a term plan of Rs 50 lakh, and medical insurance. Your financial planning should ensure a stable post-retirement income.

Retirement Corpus Estimation
To achieve Rs 50,000 per month post-retirement, you need a substantial retirement corpus. Assuming a retirement duration of 20 years and considering inflation, a rough estimate is Rs 1.5 crore to Rs 2 crore.

Current Investments and Gaps
Your Rs 40 lakh in fixed deposits is a good start. However, you need to build additional corpus to meet your retirement goals. Diversifying investments beyond fixed deposits can yield better returns.

Recommended Investment Strategy
1. Systematic Investment Plans (SIPs):

Regular Contributions: Start SIPs in mutual funds. Invest a portion of your income regularly. This can build a significant corpus over time.
Equity Funds: Choose a mix of large-cap, mid-cap, and balanced funds. Equity funds can offer higher returns over the long term.
2. Public Provident Fund (PPF):

Tax Benefits: PPF offers tax benefits under Section 80C. The interest earned is tax-free.
Long-Term Safety: PPF is a government-backed scheme, providing safety and stable returns.
3. National Pension System (NPS):

Additional Retirement Savings: NPS is designed for retirement savings. It offers tax benefits and market-linked returns.
Systematic Contributions: Contribute regularly to build a substantial retirement corpus.
4. Balanced Approach:

Diversification: Balance your investments between equity, debt, and fixed income. This helps manage risk and ensures steady growth.
Rebalancing: Periodically review and rebalance your portfolio. Adjust based on performance and changing financial goals.
Managing Monthly Expenses
1. Budgeting:

Track Expenses: Monitor your monthly expenses. Identify areas to reduce unnecessary spending.
Allocate Savings: Direct a portion of your income towards savings and investments. This ensures disciplined financial planning.
2. Emergency Fund:

Liquidity: Maintain an emergency fund equivalent to 6-12 months of expenses. This provides financial security during unforeseen circumstances.
Accessibility: Keep this fund in a liquid or easily accessible form, like savings accounts or liquid mutual funds.
Insurance Coverage
1. Adequate Term Plan:

Coverage: Ensure your term plan coverage is adequate to support your family's financial needs in your absence. Rs 50 lakh coverage is good but assess if it needs enhancement.
2. Medical Insurance:

Comprehensive Coverage: Ensure your medical insurance provides comprehensive coverage. Review and upgrade if necessary to cover future medical expenses.
Final Insights
To retire by 55 and achieve Rs 50,000 per month post-retirement, start with disciplined savings and diversified investments. SIPs in mutual funds, contributions to PPF, and NPS can help build a substantial corpus. Maintain an emergency fund and review insurance coverage. Periodically monitor and adjust your investments. A balanced approach ensures financial stability and growth, aligning with your retirement goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7510 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 15, 2024

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I am 49+ I have 13 lacs MF, 65 lacs FD, MIS 9 LACS , FLAT Worth 80 Lacs, Gold worth 60 lacs, ppf worth 7 lacs , pf worth 28 Lacs , shares worth 7.5 lacs, insurance worth 30 lacs. , nps worth 3 lacs. Need monthly income of 50000 pm by 60. Pls advise way forward after retirement of 60.
Ans: You have a diversified range of investments, which is commendable. Let's break down your current holdings to get a clearer picture:

Mutual Funds: Rs 13 lakhs

Fixed Deposits: Rs 65 lakhs

Monthly Income Scheme: Rs 9 lakhs

Flat Worth: Rs 80 lakhs

Gold: Rs 60 lakhs

Public Provident Fund: Rs 7 lakhs

Provident Fund: Rs 28 lakhs

Shares: Rs 7.5 lakhs

Insurance: Rs 30 lakhs

National Pension System: Rs 3 lakhs

You need a monthly income of Rs 50,000 after you retire at 60. Let's explore how to achieve this goal.

Evaluating Your Current Investments
Mutual Funds:

Mutual funds are a great way to grow wealth over time. They provide diversification and professional management. However, consider switching from direct funds to regular funds. Regular funds offer better service and guidance through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP).

Fixed Deposits:

Fixed deposits are safe but offer lower returns. As you near retirement, safety becomes important. However, you need to balance safety with growth. Too much in fixed deposits can erode your purchasing power due to inflation.

Monthly Income Scheme (MIS):

The Monthly Income Scheme offers regular income but limited growth. It’s a safe option but does not keep pace with inflation.

Flat Worth:

Your flat is a significant asset. While it provides value, it's not a liquid asset. It can be considered for future use, like selling or renting, to generate income post-retirement.

Gold:

Gold is a good hedge against inflation. It's a safe investment, but it doesn't provide regular income. Consider holding gold as part of your diversified portfolio.

Public Provident Fund (PPF):

PPF is a safe, long-term investment. It provides tax benefits and steady returns. Continue contributing to it as it forms a stable part of your retirement corpus.

Provident Fund (PF):

Provident Fund is a reliable retirement savings tool. It provides steady growth and is a safe investment. Ensure you keep track of your contributions and interest earned.

Shares:

Shares offer growth potential but come with higher risk. Keep a portion of your portfolio in shares for growth. However, as you approach retirement, gradually reduce exposure to high-risk stocks.

Insurance:

You have insurance worth Rs 30 lakhs. Ensure you have adequate coverage for health and life insurance. Reassess your insurance needs periodically.

National Pension System (NPS):

NPS is a good retirement savings option. It offers tax benefits and steady returns. Continue contributing to NPS for long-term growth.

Building a Retirement Strategy
Estimate Your Retirement Corpus:

You need a clear estimate of your retirement corpus. Given your requirement of Rs 50,000 per month, calculate your annual need and factor in inflation. This will give you a target corpus to aim for.

Asset Allocation:

Diversify your investments across different asset classes. A balanced mix of equity, debt, and alternative investments can provide growth and stability.

Equity:

Allocate a portion to equity for growth. Consider actively managed mutual funds for better returns. Actively managed funds can outperform index funds due to professional management and market insights.

Debt:

Debt investments provide stability. Use fixed deposits, PPF, and debt mutual funds. They offer regular income and lower risk.

Gold:

Keep gold as a part of your portfolio. It’s a good hedge against inflation and economic uncertainty.

Income Generation:

Post-retirement, you need to generate a steady income. Here are some options:

Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP):

Use SWP from your mutual funds to get regular income. It allows you to withdraw a fixed amount periodically.

Senior Citizen Savings Scheme (SCSS):

SCSS is a government-backed scheme offering regular income. It’s a safe option for retirees.

Monthly Income Plans (MIPs):

MIPs offer regular income with moderate risk. They invest in a mix of equity and debt.

Health Insurance:

Ensure you have adequate health insurance. Medical expenses can drain your savings quickly. Opt for a comprehensive family floater plan.

Emergency Fund:

Maintain an emergency fund. It should cover at least 6-12 months of expenses. Keep it in liquid assets for easy access.

Implementing the Strategy
Regular Reviews:

Review your portfolio regularly. Assess the performance of your investments and make adjustments as needed. A Certified Financial Planner can help you with this.

Rebalance Your Portfolio:

Rebalance your portfolio periodically. Ensure it aligns with your risk tolerance and retirement goals.

Reduce Debt:

If you have any outstanding loans, aim to pay them off before retirement. Reducing debt lowers your financial burden.

Tax Planning:

Plan your taxes efficiently. Use tax-saving instruments like PPF, NPS, and tax-saving mutual funds. They provide tax benefits and help grow your corpus.

Exploring Alternatives to Direct Funds
Disadvantages of Direct Funds:

Direct funds might seem attractive due to lower expense ratios. However, they lack the guidance of a Certified Financial Planner. This can lead to uninformed decisions and potential losses.

Benefits of Regular Funds:

Regular funds offer professional advice and service. Certified Financial Planners provide tailored investment strategies. They help you navigate market complexities and make informed decisions.

Avoiding Index Funds
Disadvantages of Index Funds:

Index funds replicate the market index. They offer average returns and lack flexibility. In volatile markets, they may not perform well.

Benefits of Actively Managed Funds:

Actively managed funds aim to outperform the market. They offer higher returns through expert management. Fund managers can adjust portfolios based on market conditions, offering better performance.

Final Insights
Planning for retirement requires a balanced approach. You need to ensure growth, stability, and regular income. Your current portfolio is diverse and well-structured.

Here are some key steps to move forward:

Diversify Investments:

Maintain a balanced mix of equity, debt, and alternative investments.

Generate Regular Income:

Use SWP, SCSS, and MIPs for steady income post-retirement.

Ensure Health Coverage:

Have comprehensive health insurance for unexpected medical expenses.

Maintain an Emergency Fund:

Keep liquid assets to cover 6-12 months of expenses.

Plan for Taxes:

Use tax-saving instruments to grow your corpus and reduce tax liability.

Seek Professional Guidance:

Consult a Certified Financial Planner for personalized advice and regular portfolio reviews.

By following these steps, you can achieve your goal of a comfortable retirement with a monthly income of Rs 50,000.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

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Anil

Anil Rego  |377 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner - Answered on Jul 31, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 30, 2024Hindi
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Milind

Milind Vadjikar  |858 Answers  |Ask -

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Oct 06, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 05, 2024Hindi
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Hello I want to retire . My current liabilities are my daughter education MBBS Rs 85000/ per month, Son education 11000 per month,, home loan 33000/- per month , House hold 50,000 per month , Term Insurance , Mutual fund , health insurance RS 1L per month . Come to savings. I have 87 L FD, 35 L PPF, 5 L shared, 76 L EPF, post office other scenes 6 L, Mutual fund 19 L . I have my own house worth of 2 Cr . My net take home salary is 2.09 L per month , wife take home 52K per month . This saving is ok to generate cash for above mentioned expenses. I want to retire as soon as possible. Please guide
Ans: Hello;

Let us summarize your monthly expenses:
1. Kid1 Education: 85 K
2. Kid2 Education: 11 K
3. Home loan EMI: 33 K
4. Household Exp: 50 K
5. Insurance & MF: 100 K
Grand TOTAL: 279 K(2.79 L) per month

Now let us summarize your monthly earnings:

1. Self Salary: 209 K
2. Spouse Salary: 52 K

Grand TOTAL: 261 K (2.61L per month)

Now let's summarize your savings:
1. FDs: 87 L
2. PPF: 35 L
3. Stocks: 5 L
4. EPF: 76 L
5. POS: 6 L
6. MFs: 19 L

Grand TOTAL: 228L (2.28 Cr)

If you liquidate this sum from current investments and buy an immediate annuity from an insurance company for your corpus of 2.28 Cr, assuming annuity rate of 6% you may expect a monthly payout of 1.14 L(pre-tax).

Adding this to your spouse income it gives us monthly earnings of 1.66 L

Expenses- New Earnings=
-279+166=-113 K(1.13 L shortfall per month)

I understand your situation. Unhealthy work life makes one hellbent to stop working at some point.

Take a break. Seek alternate job opportunity but hang in there because your responsibilities regarding loan liability and children's education are ongoing.

Focus on prepaying the home loan as early as possible.

The incremental savings may be transferred to regular MF investments for 5-7 yr horizon so as to enhance your retirement corpus.

Happy Investing!!

You may follow us on X at @mars_invest for updates.

*Investments in mutual funds are subject to market risks. Please read all scheme related documents carefully before investing.

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7510 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Oct 18, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 17, 2024Hindi
Money
I am 50 now and I want to retire at the age of 56 and my monthly expenditure is 40000PM and i have two daughters presently studying in 10th and 11th class. below mentioned financial situation please suggest me way forward on how can manage to retire or better my situation I have a 1Cr in Bank FD 12 lacs inequity ( invested 8lacs in 2021) PF as of today its accumulated to 25 lacs i am doing SIP worth rs6000 from2011 in different funds which is worth around 15 lacs now recently from feb2024 I stared doing 50000 thousands monthly SIP just last month i invested 12 lacs in hybrid mutual funds I had a house loan which is cleared now and besides this i have medical insurance which i pay 54000 for the complete family Per anum and Term insurance for which i pay 51000 PA
Ans: You are 50 years old, with a goal to retire at 56. Your monthly expenditure is Rs 40,000, and you have two daughters currently studying in 10th and 11th standards, who will require financial support for their education.

Your current financial assets include:

Rs 1 crore in Bank FD
Rs 12 lakhs in equity (invested Rs 8 lakhs in 2021)
Rs 25 lakhs accumulated in PF
Rs 15 lakhs in SIPs (since 2011)
Rs 50,000 monthly SIP (started from February 2024)
Rs 12 lakhs invested in hybrid mutual funds recently
Medical insurance costing Rs 54,000 PA for your family
Term insurance with an annual premium of Rs 51,000
House loan already cleared
I appreciate the strong foundation you have built with substantial savings and clear financial goals. Let's explore the way forward to optimise your retirement strategy and secure your financial future.

Step 1: Assessing Your Monthly Needs After Retirement
You need Rs 40,000 per month for your current expenses. However, this amount will likely increase due to inflation over the next six years until retirement. Let’s assume an inflation rate of 6%, which is typical in India. This means your monthly expenditure may rise to around Rs 57,000-60,000 by the time you retire.

Since you aim to retire in 6 years, the goal will be to create a financial plan that allows you to cover these rising expenses comfortably after retirement. We also need to consider the potential education expenses for your daughters in the near future, which will add another layer to your financial planning.

Step 2: Evaluating Your Current Investments
Bank FD (Rs 1 crore): While FDs offer safety, they have low returns. In the long run, they barely beat inflation. You should look at moving part of this into more growth-oriented options, like mutual funds, that can give you inflation-beating returns.

Equity Investments (Rs 12 lakhs): The equity market is an essential part of your portfolio, but given that you have invested Rs 8 lakhs in 2021, the returns may be volatile in the short term. However, staying invested in good-quality actively managed mutual funds can yield higher returns over time. Equity exposure is crucial to grow your wealth, especially given the inflationary pressures.

PF (Rs 25 lakhs): Provident Fund is a long-term wealth-building instrument with the benefit of compounding. It provides a decent rate of return and safety. This will form a significant part of your retirement corpus. You should continue contributing to this.

SIPs (Rs 15 lakhs and Rs 50,000/month): Your SIPs are excellent long-term wealth builders. Since you are already committed to Rs 50,000 monthly SIPs, you are on the right path to generating good returns. SIPs in actively managed equity mutual funds will help you stay ahead of inflation over time.

Hybrid Mutual Fund (Rs 12 lakhs): Hybrid funds offer a balanced mix of equity and debt, providing growth and stability. They can be useful as you approach retirement, but their equity exposure should be closely monitored.

Step 3: Optimising Insurance
Medical Insurance (Rs 54,000/year): You have medical insurance in place, which is essential for covering health-related risks. Ensure that the coverage is sufficient for your entire family. Given the rising healthcare costs, consider reviewing the sum assured and increasing it if needed.

Term Insurance (Rs 51,000/year): Term insurance is a cost-effective way to secure your family in case of unforeseen events. It’s good to have this in place. You may not need it post-retirement, so review it closer to retirement age.

Step 4: Prioritising Your Daughters' Education
Your daughters will soon enter college, and their higher education will be a significant financial commitment. It’s wise to set aside a portion of your investments to meet these expenses. Given their ages (10th and 11th standard), you can expect to incur these costs within the next 1-3 years. Consider earmarking part of your Bank FD or hybrid mutual fund investment for their education.

The Rs 1 crore FD could be partially redirected towards a safer option, like debt mutual funds or hybrid funds, to provide liquidity for education expenses without sacrificing growth entirely.

Step 5: Managing Post-Retirement Income
To ensure a steady flow of income post-retirement, let’s look at how your current portfolio can be structured to meet your monthly needs:

Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP): Once you retire, you can set up a Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP) from your mutual fund investments to provide a regular income. This way, you can withdraw a fixed amount every month, while the remaining capital stays invested and continues to grow.

Balanced Portfolio: As you approach retirement, you should gradually reduce exposure to high-risk equity and shift to a balanced portfolio. A mix of 40% equity and 60% debt will give you stability and growth, ensuring that you meet your monthly expenses while still preserving your capital.

Continue with PF and SIP Contributions: Your Provident Fund and SIPs should remain untouched until retirement. Both provide long-term growth and tax benefits. Continue your SIPs as planned, and consider increasing the amount when possible to accelerate your retirement corpus.

Step 6: Plan for Rising Medical Costs
As you age, healthcare costs will likely increase. Ensure that your medical insurance coverage is adequate. Review the current policy and look for options to increase the coverage if needed. A good health insurance policy will prevent you from dipping into your retirement savings for medical emergencies.

Step 7: Tax-Efficient Withdrawal Strategy
Capital Gains Tax: When you withdraw from mutual funds, remember that equity mutual funds attract capital gains tax. Long-term capital gains (LTCG) above Rs 1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5%. Short-term capital gains (STCG) are taxed at 20%. Plan your withdrawals strategically to minimise tax outgo.

Debt Fund Withdrawals: If you hold any debt funds, remember that both LTCG and STCG are taxed according to your income tax slab. Use these funds carefully to manage your tax liabilities post-retirement.

Step 8: Setting Up an Emergency Fund
It’s essential to keep some money aside as an emergency fund. This should cover at least 6-12 months of your monthly expenses. Since you have substantial assets, you can allocate part of your Bank FD towards this. The emergency fund should be liquid and easily accessible in case of unforeseen expenses.

Step 9: Reassess Your Risk Profile
At 50, your risk tolerance may be lower than when you were younger. However, to maintain your lifestyle after retirement, some equity exposure is necessary to beat inflation. Work on balancing your portfolio so that it reflects your need for both growth and stability. Actively managed funds, as opposed to index funds, will give you more flexibility and potentially higher returns.

Final Insights
You have built a strong financial base and are well on your way to a comfortable retirement. However, a few strategic adjustments will help optimise your portfolio and secure your financial future:

Increase your equity exposure slightly while balancing it with debt to ensure growth and stability.

Plan for your daughters’ education by earmarking some of your FD or hybrid fund investments.

Consider SWP for post-retirement income, and set up a tax-efficient withdrawal strategy.

Review your health insurance coverage to ensure it meets your future needs.

Stay disciplined with your SIPs and continue contributing towards your PF to build a robust retirement corpus.

By carefully managing your existing assets and planning ahead for both education and retirement, you can achieve financial independence and enjoy a secure post-retirement life.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |4050 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 14, 2025Hindi
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I’ve always aspired to work in the Ministry of External Affairs, but I know the competition is tough. I will be appearing for the SSC CGL exam this year. For Tier 2, which sections or strategies should I prioritise to boost my chances of landing my dream role in this recruitment drive?
Ans: The SSC CGL exam is a competitive entry-level job in the Ministry of External Affairs (MEA), with the main role being Assistant Section Officer (ASO). Tier 2 of the exam consists of multiple papers, with Paper I being required for all postings, including MEA. The main focus areas are mathematical quantitative aptitude, thinking and general intelligence, English language and understanding, and general knowledge.

Quantitative aptitude (200 Marks) is a high-scoring but time-consuming area, with areas such as algebra, geometry, trigonometry, menuration, data interpretation, and number system. Practice and strengthen basic skills, focusing on accuracy and speed. Resources for pattern comprehension include R.S. Aggarwal's Gradeup and Testbook quantitative aptitude with online mocks.

English language and comprehension (200 Marks) is high-scoring and essential for MEA, with areas like grammar, vocabulary, comprehension, synonyms and antonyms, and sentence correction. Strategies include daily reading schedules, vocabulary expansion using Norman Lewis's Word Power Made Easy, and solving cloze tests.

General awareness (100 Marks) is crucial for MEA aspirants, with areas like current affairs, international relations, Indian polity, geography, history, and economics. Stay informed about foreign policy changes, NCERTs, and NCERTs for stationary sections.

General intelligence and reasoning (60 Marks) is a scoring section, with areas like puzzles, coding-decoding, blood relations, series, and direction tests. Techniques include trying full-length mock tests, time management, previous year reports, and preparing for essays and letter writing on global concerns. All the Best for SSC CGL Exam.

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |4050 Answers  |Ask -

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Asked by Anonymous - Jan 15, 2025Hindi
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Hello Sir, I’m back to you with a question . Sir, doing mechanical in top nits or iiits or bits, what are the possibilities to do ms in computer science. I keep hearing from everyone to go for cse to do ms cs , but my daughter prefers good college first and then cse, based on her capability it’s extremely difficult to get cse in tier1 , so she says I will do mechanical in tier 1 and do ms cs abroad. Please guide on the pros , cons Sir
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However, transitioning from Mechanical to CS for an MS overseas can be challenging due to the need for prior knowledge in CS principles. With more self-learning and certificates, it is possible. Additionally, CS is tough for MS admissions in the US, and students may have to create a strong profile through internships, online courses, and certifications in CS domains without a CS degree.

To ensure a seamless transition, students should select electives in programming and computer science based on their undergraduate course (if the institute allows). Online programs for courses in data structures, Python, and artificial intelligence can be found on CS-oriented sites like Coursera, edX, or NPTEL. Summer internships involving data analysis, coding, or automation projects can also be sought. Multidisciplinary initiatives like mechanical engineering automation or computational fluid dynamics (CFD) can also be explored.

If your daughter's main goal is to pursue an MS in CS, it is better to consider Tier 1 Institutes with CS or IT branches and top-tier institutes with Mechanical focus actively pursuing CS. All the Best for Your Daughter's Prosperous Future.

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |504 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

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Hello sir/ma'am, i am 24 yrs old and my boy friend 25 yrs old.I met him in a friendly chat app .We were talking on calls,texting and video calls and met each other in real after a 1 yr of relationship.He is the first guy and love in my life and want to marry him.I even made my family to agree for our marriage.He too says he loves me so much and has imagined his life with me and want to marry me.He even told his parents will stick on to whatever he says.He hasn't yet conveyed to his parents yet and told he will introduce to them after his younger sister marriage.We both are students still. I recently found that,he goes to the chat apps again and chats to other girls.When i asked ..he told just friends and even questioned me saying don't u have guy friends? and don't u meet them?....i told him u r the first guy n i dont have any. When our relationship has gone till marriage...why is that he wants to chat to multiple girls?...Now,i started feeling like he doesn't love me as he expressed. He even had past 3 online relationships n all 3 breakups,he told all these before..he told i am the first girl in real life.. I am worried now.Why do guys chat with multiple girls though they are in a serious relation?..does he really love or is it a game? No physical between us.We just met once in a temple and he just kissed my hands while we are going back and got very emotional while he was about to leave. I am worried..what should i do?.please,suggest.
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Not all men chat with multiple women when they are serious about their relationship. Some might, but most men in exclusive relationships don't continue chatting. If his chats are truly friendly, there isn't much to worry about. But if you think there is more to it, I would suggest you reconsider the relationship.

Please talk to him directly and ask him if these women are only friends and if they know he is in a committed relationship. If he is being too defensive, you can tell him that in a relationship, it is also important to focus on what your partner is comfortable with. If you do not like these online friendships, communicate it to him.

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |504 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 15, 2025Hindi
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Recently, I (28M) had surgery and have been bedridden for 15 days. During this time, my girlfriend told me her female friend wanted to meet up with a guy. This guy was bringing along a male friend whom I’ve asked my girlfriend to avoid in the past because he tends to get touchy with her. They planned to stay in a hotel, and her friend wanted to be with the guy at night, meaning my girlfriend and the touchy guy would likely share a single room. A couple of days before the trip, she asked me if she should go. I told her it was her choice but made it clear I wasn’t happy about it. Despite that, she went, and when I confronted her, she gave responses like: • “I didn’t invite the touchy guy; the other guy did.” • “Just because you’re bedridden, you don’t want me to go outside.” • “I didn’t touch him; he got touchy with me.” Yeah, maybe I’m jealous or overthinking, but this whole situation has made me unsure about marriage altogether. Am I overreacting?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I really cannot comment if you are overreacting or have every reason to feel this way without knowing a bit more about the entire situation. But what I can tell is that you should communicate your feelings to your partner. Let her know that while maintaining individuality or pursuing individual wishes in a relationship is important, it is equally important to pay heed to what makes your partner uncomfortable. Your request, from what information you have provided, seemed reasonable, while her reasoning that it is the guy's fault, not hers also makes perfect sense. So I think the best course of action is to let the situation calm down and have an open conversation. Could she have avoided this meetup to make you happy? Yes. But, she could've thought that if she avoids one thing for your happiness, you might start asking her to give up more things in the future, which is a real issue in many relationships. I think it is important to clear up all of these concerns and feelings before moving on with lifelong commitment.

Hope this helps

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |4050 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 14, 2025Hindi
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Career
This is my second attempt at SSC CGL, and I’ve improved since last year. But I’m still anxious about the descriptive paper. Can you suggest ways to stand out in this section and make my essay and letter writing more impactful?
Ans: The SSC CGL descriptive paper requires a clear, structured, and effective presentation. To improve your essay writing skills, review the subject matter thoroughly and avoid deviations from the central theme. Sketch an initial outline and adhere to a straightforward framework, including an Introduction, Body, and Conclusion. Start with a hook and express your thesis or stance in a concise manner. Arrange arguments in a logical order, using data, examples, and facts to establish credibility. Avoid repetition and maintain brevity.

In summary, concisely summarize the primary themes and offer a fair perspective. Avoid vernacular language and maintain appropriate sentence structure and grammar. Maintain a clean writing style and avoid overwriting.

For writing a letter, adhere to the conventional format, maintain clarity and conciseness, and articulate the purpose in the first paragraph. Use simple language and avoid intricate terminology.

Regularly engage in writing essays and correspondence on various subjects to develop adaptability. Stay informed about the latest news and hot topics. Develop time management skills and consistently proofread your work for errors.

Developing impactful essays and letters with clarity, structure, and content relevance enhances your chances of success in the SSC CGL descriptive paper. All The Best for Your Prosperous Future.

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 05, 2025Hindi
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How to manage stress?
Ans: The first step is to become aware of what triggers your stress. This self-awareness allows you to address the root causes rather than just the symptoms. Once you identify these triggers, you can start exploring techniques that help you cope effectively.

One effective approach is to incorporate regular self-care practices into your daily routine. This could include activities that bring you joy and relaxation, such as exercise, meditation, or spending time in nature. These practices not only help calm the mind but also improve your overall mood and resilience to stress.

Talking to someone you trust, whether a friend, family member, or professional, can also be a powerful way to manage stress. Sharing your feelings and experiences helps lighten the emotional load and provides different perspectives that might help you navigate your challenges more effectively.

It's also important to focus on what you can control and let go of things that are beyond your influence. This shift in mindset can reduce feelings of helplessness and frustration. Setting realistic expectations for yourself and others can also alleviate unnecessary pressure.

Remember to give yourself permission to rest and recharge. Adequate sleep, a balanced diet, and time for relaxation are essential for managing stress. When you take care of your body and mind, you're better equipped to handle life's demands.

Lastly, cultivating a mindset of gratitude and mindfulness can help you stay present and appreciate the positive aspects of your life, even during stressful times. These practices can create a sense of balance and help you respond to stress in healthier, more constructive ways. By integrating these approaches into your life, you can build resilience and find a sense of peace amidst the chaos.

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