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46-Year-Old Woman Seeks Financial Advice for Future Planning

Milind

Milind Vadjikar  |800 Answers  |Ask -

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Sep 30, 2024

Milind Vadjikar is an independent MF distributor registered with Association of Mutual Funds in India (AMFI) and a retirement financial planning advisor registered with Pension Fund Regulatory and Development Authority (PFRDA).
He has a mechanical engineering degree from Government Engineering College, Sambhajinagar, and an MBA in international business from the Symbiosis Institute of Business Management, Pune.
With over 16 years of experience in stock investments, and over six year experience in investment guidance and support, he believes that balanced asset allocation and goal-focused disciplined investing is the key to achieving investor goals.... more
pritam Question by pritam on Sep 30, 2024Hindi
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I am 46 year old woman.My current salary is 60000 per month. I have invested few amount in shares and ipo around 60000 . please suggest how to do make better plan for future.My son also in 11 th STD

Ans: Hello;

The value of your current income as after 14 years will be 1.36 L considering 6% inflation over 14 years by the time you are 60 years of age.

If you feel that your expenses may be reduced then and you would need say 70% of the income after 60 age so 70% of 1.36 L gives us a monthly income requirement of around 95 K.

To achieve this target I recommend you to start a monthly sip of 25 K into a combination of pure equity type mutual funds.

You need to top-up the sip amount by minimum 10% each year.

Also I would suggest you not to dabble in direct stocks and reinvest the 60 K sum lumpsum into above referred type of mutual funds.

The sip corpus will grow into a sum of around 1.96 Cr. The lumpsum invested will grow into a sum of around 4 L after 14 years considering a modest return of 13%.

Therefore your comprehensive corpus will be 2 Cr.

If you buy an immediate annuity from an insurance company for your corpus then considering annuity rate of 5.75% you can expect to receive monthly payout of around 95 K.

For your son's education funding you may utilise EPF corpus or seek an education loan.

Happy Investing!!

You may follow us on X at @mars_invest for updates.

*Investments in mutual funds are subject to market risks. Please read all scheme related documents carefully before investing.
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7336 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 09, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 08, 2024Hindi
Money
I am 45 years earning 2.1laf per month and investment is 20K per month MF since last six months. PPF(18 lakhs) NpS(7Lakhs)and HDFC policy (9 lakhs) and PF 38 lakhs are my savings still today. I have 2 twin boys studying 2nd standard. Please suggest investment plan for my son's education and retirement plan.
Ans: Understanding Your Financial Position
First, let me appreciate your disciplined approach to saving and investing. You earn Rs. 2.1 lakh per month and already invest Rs. 20,000 per month in mutual funds. Your existing savings in PPF (Rs. 18 lakhs), NPS (Rs. 7 lakhs), an HDFC policy (Rs. 9 lakhs), and PF (Rs. 38 lakhs) are commendable. This demonstrates a strong foundation for future financial goals, including your sons' education and your retirement.

Evaluating Your Current Investments
Your current investments provide a mix of safety, tax benefits, and potential growth. Here’s a breakdown:

Public Provident Fund (PPF): With Rs. 18 lakhs, PPF offers tax-free returns and safety. However, its long lock-in period limits liquidity.

National Pension System (NPS): With Rs. 7 lakhs, NPS is good for retirement due to its low-cost structure and tax benefits. But, it's not very liquid and has some equity market exposure.

HDFC Policy: The Rs. 9 lakhs in the HDFC policy should be carefully reviewed. Often, investment-cum-insurance policies offer lower returns due to high charges. You might consider surrendering this policy and reallocating the funds to higher-yielding investments.

Provident Fund (PF): Your PF savings of Rs. 38 lakhs are a solid, risk-free investment with decent returns and tax benefits. This forms a crucial part of your retirement corpus.

Investment Plan for Your Sons' Education
Given your sons are in 2nd standard, you have around 15 years before they start higher education. This time frame allows for a balanced investment strategy that maximises growth while managing risk. Here’s a structured plan:

Step 1: Estimating Future Education Costs
Education costs are rising, and it's crucial to estimate future expenses accurately. Assuming an annual inflation rate of 6% for education costs, let’s calculate the future cost of a four-year course.

Let's assume the current cost of a good quality higher education is around Rs. 10 lakhs per year.

Using the formula for compound interest, Future Value (FV) = Present Value (PV) * (1 + r)^n

Where:

PV = Rs. 10 lakhs
r = 6% (0.06)
n = 15 years
FV = 10,00,000 * (1 + 0.06)^15 = Rs. 23,96,000 approximately per year

For a four-year course, you will need roughly Rs. 95,84,000 for each son, totalling Rs. 1.92 crores.

Step 2: Investment Strategy
Systematic Investment Plan (SIP) in Mutual Funds: Continue your current SIPs and gradually increase them as your income grows. Actively managed funds can offer better returns compared to index funds, as professional fund managers aim to outperform the market.

Diversification: Spread investments across large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap funds. This will balance risk and growth potential.

Equity-Oriented Child Plans: Consider mutual fund schemes specifically designed for children's future needs. These plans often have a lock-in period, ensuring disciplined saving.

Sukanya Samriddhi Yojana (SSY): If your sons were daughters, SSY would be an excellent choice for secure, tax-free returns. Instead, look for similar secure options tailored for boys.

Regular Review: Monitor the performance of your investments annually. Adjust the portfolio based on market conditions and changing financial goals.

Retirement Planning
Retirement planning requires a detailed assessment of future expenses, inflation, and life expectancy. Given your current age of 45, you likely have 15-20 years before retirement. Here’s a structured approach:

Step 1: Estimating Retirement Corpus
Estimate your monthly expenses post-retirement. Assuming your current monthly expense is Rs. 1 lakh, and you expect to maintain the same lifestyle:

Consider an inflation rate of 6%.

Using the formula for compound interest, FV = PV * (1 + r)^n

Where:

PV = Rs. 1 lakh
r = 6% (0.06)
n = 20 years (till retirement)
FV = 1,00,000 * (1 + 0.06)^20 = Rs. 3,21,000 approximately per month

You’ll need to plan for at least 20 years post-retirement. Thus, your annual requirement would be Rs. 3.21 lakhs * 12 = Rs. 38.52 lakhs.

For 20 years, considering the inflation-adjusted returns, you will need a significant corpus.

Step 2: Building the Corpus
Increase Contributions to NPS: Enhance your NPS contributions to benefit from its long-term growth and tax benefits. Diversify your NPS portfolio to include a balanced mix of equity, corporate bonds, and government securities.

Mutual Funds: Continue with SIPs in diversified mutual funds. Increase the amount periodically. Actively managed funds with a focus on blue-chip stocks can offer stability and growth.

Public Provident Fund (PPF): Continue contributing to PPF for its tax-free, secure returns. The long-term nature of PPF aligns well with retirement goals.

Employee Provident Fund (EPF): Maintain and possibly increase your EPF contributions if feasible. EPF offers risk-free, decent returns and is a cornerstone of retirement planning.

Health Insurance: Ensure you have adequate health insurance. Medical costs can erode your savings significantly. A robust health insurance plan safeguards your retirement corpus.

Step 3: Adjusting Investment Strategy
Reduce Equity Exposure Gradually: As you near retirement, gradually shift from equity to debt funds. This reduces risk and ensures capital preservation.

Diversify: Include debt funds, balanced funds, and government bonds in your portfolio. This provides stability and regular income post-retirement.

Review and Rebalance: Regularly review your portfolio. Rebalance it to maintain the desired asset allocation and adjust for market changes and personal financial goals.

Benefits of Investing Through Certified Financial Planners
Opting for regular funds through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) has several benefits over direct funds:

Professional Guidance: A CFP provides expert advice tailored to your financial goals, risk tolerance, and time horizon.

Regular Monitoring: CFPs monitor your portfolio regularly, making necessary adjustments to optimise returns and manage risks.

Comprehensive Planning: CFPs offer holistic financial planning, considering all aspects of your financial life, including taxes, insurance, and estate planning.

Behavioural Coaching: A CFP helps you stay disciplined and avoid emotional investment decisions, which can be detrimental to long-term goals.

Administrative Support: Managing investments can be complex. A CFP handles the paperwork, compliance, and administrative tasks, allowing you to focus on your life and career.

Final Insights
Your disciplined saving and investing habits are commendable. With a well-structured plan, you can comfortably achieve your sons' education and your retirement goals. Focus on increasing your investments gradually, diversifying your portfolio, and seeking professional guidance to optimise returns and manage risks. Remember, regular reviews and adjustments to your financial plan are crucial to stay on track.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7336 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 07, 2024Hindi
Money
My income is 100000 l and My child is 14 years. I am civil engineer working in private company.EMI is 40k Please suggest me what to do for future planning in and My retirement planning, 55year now my age 36 years We required After Retirement 50 Lacks
Ans: Firstly, congratulations on your income. Earning Rs. 1,00,000 per month is a significant achievement, especially in a private sector role as a civil engineer. This solid financial foundation is a great starting point for your future planning and retirement strategy.

You have mentioned your monthly EMI is Rs. 40,000. This means your discretionary income is Rs. 60,000 per month. With thoughtful planning, this amount can be effectively allocated towards securing your child's future and your retirement.

Child's Future Planning
Your child is currently 14 years old. In four years, he will likely be pursuing higher education. This is a critical period to ensure you have enough funds for his education. Education costs are rising, and having a solid plan will ensure you can meet these expenses without compromising other financial goals.

Assessing Education Costs

Higher education can be expensive. The first step is to estimate the total cost of your child’s education. This includes tuition fees, accommodation, books, and other related expenses. Let's assume the total cost to be around Rs. 20 lakhs.

Investment Strategy for Child's Education

To achieve this goal, you can start investing a part of your discretionary income. One of the most effective ways to grow your savings is through mutual funds. Regular mutual funds, when invested through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP), offer professional management and can potentially provide higher returns compared to direct funds.

By investing Rs. 20,000 monthly in a diversified mutual fund, you can accumulate the required amount in the next four years. Mutual funds have the advantage of professional management, diversified risk, and the potential for inflation-beating returns.

Importance of Starting Early

Starting your investment journey early allows your money more time to grow. The power of compounding works best when investments are made early and left to grow over time. This approach can significantly reduce the financial stress when your child is ready for higher education.

Retirement Planning
You are 36 years old and plan to retire at 55. That gives you 19 years to build a retirement corpus of Rs. 50 lakhs. Given your current income and EMI obligations, this goal is achievable with disciplined saving and investing.

Setting Clear Goals

The first step in retirement planning is to set clear goals. You need to estimate your post-retirement expenses. Assuming you need Rs. 50 lakhs at the time of retirement, we can plan backward to determine how much you need to save and invest monthly.

Mutual Funds for Retirement

Investing in mutual funds through a CFP can help you build a significant corpus. Actively managed funds, in particular, can potentially offer better returns due to professional fund management and active stock selection.

By investing Rs. 30,000 per month in a diversified equity mutual fund, you can steadily build your retirement corpus. The equity market, despite its volatility, has historically provided higher returns over the long term, making it suitable for long-term goals like retirement.

Diversification and Regular Review

Diversification is key to managing investment risks. By spreading your investments across different asset classes and sectors, you can minimize risks while maximizing returns. Regularly reviewing and rebalancing your portfolio with the help of a CFP ensures it stays aligned with your goals.

Managing EMI and Savings
With an EMI of Rs. 40,000, managing your savings and investments becomes crucial. Ensuring that you do not over-leverage yourself and maintaining a balance between your EMI obligations and savings is essential.

Budgeting and Financial Discipline

Creating a budget helps in tracking your income and expenses. Prioritize essential expenses and allocate the remaining towards savings and investments. Financial discipline is crucial in achieving your long-term goals.

Emergency Fund

Before diving deep into investments, it is wise to set aside an emergency fund. This fund should ideally cover 6-12 months of your expenses. This ensures that in case of any unexpected events, you have a financial cushion to fall back on without disrupting your investment plans.

Insurance Planning
Insurance is an integral part of financial planning. It protects your family against unforeseen events and ensures financial stability.

Life Insurance

If you have existing LIC or ULIP policies, it might be wise to evaluate their performance. Often, these policies do not provide adequate returns and may have high costs associated with them. Consider surrendering underperforming policies and reinvesting the proceeds into mutual funds through a CFP.

Term Insurance

A term insurance plan is a must-have. It provides a high coverage amount at a low premium, ensuring your family's financial security in your absence. Aim for a coverage amount that is at least 10-15 times your annual income.

Health Insurance

A comprehensive health insurance plan protects against medical emergencies. Ensure you have adequate coverage for yourself and your family. Rising medical costs can quickly deplete savings, making health insurance essential.

Tax Planning
Efficient tax planning helps in saving money which can be redirected towards investments.

Tax-saving Investments

Investments in tax-saving mutual funds (ELSS), PPF, and EPF not only provide tax benefits under Section 80C but also help in wealth creation. Consult with a CFP to choose the right mix of tax-saving instruments.

Utilizing Tax Deductions

Maximize the use of available tax deductions such as those under Section 80D for health insurance premiums and Section 24 for home loan interest. This reduces your taxable income and increases your savings.

Regular Monitoring and Adjustments
Financial planning is not a one-time activity. It requires regular monitoring and adjustments to stay on track.

Periodic Reviews

Regularly review your investment portfolio with a CFP. This helps in identifying any underperforming assets and making necessary adjustments. Periodic reviews ensure your portfolio remains aligned with your financial goals.

Rebalancing Portfolio

As you approach your goals, gradually shift from high-risk investments to more stable ones. This strategy protects your accumulated wealth from market volatility as you near your goal horizon.

Staying Informed

Stay updated with financial news and market trends. This helps in making informed decisions about your investments. However, avoid making impulsive decisions based on short-term market movements.

Benefits of Working with a CFP
A Certified Financial Planner (CFP) brings expertise and professional advice to your financial planning process.

Expert Advice

CFPs provide expert advice tailored to your financial situation and goals. Their knowledge and experience help in creating a comprehensive financial plan.

Holistic Approach

CFPs take a holistic approach to financial planning. They consider all aspects of your financial life, including savings, investments, insurance, and taxes, to create a balanced and effective plan.

Customized Solutions

CFPs offer customized solutions based on your specific needs and risk tolerance. This personalized approach ensures your financial plan is effective and achievable.

Final Insights
Creating a robust financial plan requires careful consideration of various factors. By focusing on your child's future, retirement planning, insurance, and tax strategies, you can build a secure financial future.

Investing through mutual funds with the guidance of a CFP can provide you with professional management and potentially higher returns. Regular reviews and adjustments, along with disciplined saving and investing, are key to achieving your financial goals.

Your journey towards financial security is unique. Embrace it with confidence and commitment. Your efforts today will ensure a prosperous and secure future for you and your family.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7336 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 25, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 24, 2024Hindi
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My annual salary is 8.8lkhs. I have two kids one in 1st standard and other is 2 years old. I have already invested in SIP 8k monthly. Around 40k in ppf annually. I have around 5lkhs in ppf account till now after 5 years. Please suggest me for better future and children education planning. I have invested 20k annually in nps too.
Ans: Current Financial Overview
Income and Expenses

Your annual salary is Rs. 8.8 lakhs.

You have two young children.

Current Investments

SIP: Rs. 8,000 monthly.

PPF: Rs. 40,000 annually.

NPS: Rs. 20,000 annually.

PPF Account: Rs. 5 lakhs accumulated over 5 years.

Appreciating Your Efforts
You are already investing in SIPs, PPF, and NPS.

These are commendable steps towards securing your financial future.

Investment Strategies for a Better Future
Increase SIP Contributions

Increase your SIP contributions gradually.

Allocate more to large-cap and mid-cap mutual funds.

Education Planning for Children

Education costs are rising.

Start dedicated SIPs for each child’s education.

Review and Adjust Investments

Regularly review your investments.

Adjust based on market conditions and financial goals.

Benefits of Actively Managed Funds
Actively Managed vs. Index Funds

Actively managed funds can outperform index funds.

They offer better potential returns with expert management.

Disadvantages of Direct Funds
Benefits of Regular Funds

Regular funds provide professional advice.

MFDs with CFP credentials offer valuable insights and support.

Retirement Planning
NPS Contributions

Increase your NPS contributions if possible.

NPS offers tax benefits and long-term growth.

Diversify Investments

Diversify your investments in equity, debt, and balanced funds.

This strategy reduces risk and enhances returns.

Insurance Review
Term Insurance

Ensure you have adequate term insurance coverage.

A cover of Rs. 1 crore is recommended for your family’s security.

Health Insurance

Ensure comprehensive health coverage for your family.

Consider increasing coverage if necessary.

Emergency Fund
Maintain an Emergency Fund

Keep at least 6 months of expenses in a liquid fund.

This ensures financial stability during emergencies.

Action Plan
Increase SIPs

Gradually increase SIP contributions.

Focus on large-cap, mid-cap, and balanced funds.

Plan for Education

Start dedicated SIPs for each child’s education.

Review Insurance

Ensure adequate term and health insurance coverage.

Maintain Emergency Fund

Keep an emergency fund for at least 6 months of expenses.

Final Insights
Your financial plan should focus on increasing savings, diversifying investments, and planning for future goals.

Regularly review and adjust your investments to stay on track.

Seek professional guidance to ensure a comprehensive financial strategy.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7336 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Aug 22, 2024

Money
My age is 34 my monthly income is 50 k per month .investing in sip, sbi energy opportunities 5k, HDFC manufacturing fund 5 k , motilalal Oswal defence index fund 5 k and ppf 5k I had a son of 2 years and wife I want money for my son education and for my retirement 3 lakhs per month income needed. Suggest me best plan strategy. Thanking u
Ans: At 34, with a monthly income of Rs. 50,000, you have already started investing wisely. You're contributing Rs. 15,000 to SIPs in diverse mutual funds and Rs. 5,000 to PPF. You also have a 2-year-old son and a wife, which means securing your family's future is a top priority.

Let's assess your current situation and craft a plan to achieve your financial goals: your son's education and a comfortable retirement with Rs. 3 lakh per month.

Evaluating Your Current Investments
1. SIP Investments:

You are investing Rs. 15,000 per month in SIPs spread across different sectors. This diversification can provide balanced growth over time.
2. Public Provident Fund (PPF):

Your Rs. 5,000 monthly contribution to PPF offers stability and tax benefits. However, it is a conservative option with lower returns compared to equity investments.
3. Index Fund:

Investing in an index fund like Motilal Oswal Defence Index Fund might seem appealing due to its low cost. But, it may not outperform actively managed funds in the long run. Actively managed funds, with a skilled fund manager, can adapt to market changes better.
Identifying Your Financial Goals
1. Child’s Education:

Your son's education is a major milestone. The cost of education is rising, so it’s crucial to plan for it early.
2. Retirement Goal:

You aim to retire with an income of Rs. 3 lakh per month. Achieving this goal requires a well-structured plan that grows your corpus substantially.
Strategic Investment Plan
1. Increase Equity Exposure:

Continue investing in SIPs but consider shifting to actively managed funds. These funds have the potential to outperform the market and provide higher returns over time.
2. Long-Term Growth through Equity Funds:

Equity funds can offer inflation-beating returns over the long term. With your age on your side, you can afford to take more risks, which may result in higher rewards.
3. Balanced Approach with PPF:

Your PPF investment provides a secure and tax-efficient option. But, since it has lower returns, it should not be your primary retirement vehicle.
4. Review Index Fund Allocation:

The index fund you are investing in may have lower management fees, but actively managed funds can provide better returns by adjusting to market conditions. Consider reallocating funds from the index to an actively managed fund.
Planning for Your Child's Education
1. Education Fund:

Start a dedicated SIP for your son’s education. This fund should be in equity mutual funds that focus on long-term growth. By the time your son needs the funds, the corpus will have grown significantly.
2. Balancing Risk:

As your son gets closer to higher education, start shifting part of the equity investments to debt funds or safer options. This strategy will protect the corpus from market volatility.
Achieving Your Retirement Goal
1. Estimate the Required Corpus:

To generate Rs. 3 lakh per month, you will need a large corpus. With inflation and life expectancy considered, this corpus should last through your retirement years.
2. Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP):

Post-retirement, a Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP) from your mutual funds can provide you with a regular income. This method allows your money to continue growing while you withdraw what you need monthly.
3. Regular Monitoring:

Regularly review and adjust your investments. This approach ensures that your portfolio remains aligned with your goals and market conditions.
Insurance and Contingency Planning
1. Life Insurance:

Ensure that you have adequate life insurance coverage. This coverage should be enough to support your family's needs in case of any unforeseen events.
2. Health Insurance:

Health insurance is a must to protect against medical emergencies. Choose a plan that covers your family comprehensively.
3. Emergency Fund:

Maintain an emergency fund equal to at least 6 months of your expenses. This fund should be liquid and easily accessible in case of sudden financial needs.
Reviewing Your Plan Regularly
1. Annual Review:

Financial planning is not a one-time task. Review your plan at least once a year. This review will help you track your progress and make necessary adjustments.
2. Rebalance Your Portfolio:

As you approach your goals, you may need to rebalance your portfolio. Shift from high-risk investments to more stable options to protect your corpus.
Final Insights
You have made a great start by investing in SIPs and PPF. To achieve your financial goals of your son's education and a comfortable retirement, consider increasing your equity exposure and choosing actively managed funds. Ensure you have adequate insurance and a contingency fund to protect your family's financial security.

By following a disciplined investment strategy and regularly reviewing your portfolio, you can achieve financial independence and retire with the desired income.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

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Asked by Anonymous - Dec 25, 2024
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Hi, My GF of last 2.5 years gets attracted to men very often and shares her feelings with me as well. She developed feelings for a guy a year back and he kissed her once when they were drunk. She said she didn't had time to react and Later they had a talk, she informed me that they chose to be friends, she doesn't seems to in talking terms any more with him. She talks to lot of male friends who she claims are from LGBTQ community which I doubt whether all are or not. I always say she has the freedom to move on any given day but she can't cheat but she doesn't think getting attracted to multiple men and acting on it as cheating . She says, she is free spirited and she is ok even if I visit a prostitute house. She is in her early 30s. She had a crush another guy on insta and said she will definitely try him if he wasn't lot younger than her but later said he is her best friend and she is in constant touch. Lately, she says vibe doesn't match and have problem saying I am her BF. I tried to move on from relationship 2-3 times because of her above traits and now stopped talking since few days. She had both mental and medical issues. Can I trust her and will she have any mental issues again?
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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

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Hi Anu, My husband is in living relationship with another lady since April in another country. At the same time, he acused me as selfish for doing my PhD in my native country and put me in mental trauma by verbally accusing.Also,he was very clever, he step by step get rid of all the things related to our relationship and took bank all the bank fund in my name.After that he blocked me.I had doubts on his extra marital and asked him 1000 times. But he simply insulted and blocked me from all social media eventually. After finishing my PhD pre submission, when i went to meet him, in his place. I found him, shifted to another apartment. But i somehow, found it and there i came to knew, he is staying with a lady there for past months. I broke down and informed all his friends. Now he is threatening me for signing mutual consent, otherwise he will make false allegations and tore my good name..Already he partially did that. When I talked to his friends, he was crooked enough to tell them, i am a psycho, ademant, career oriented lady. I told him i am ready to give him mutual divorce after once we met in person. I want to ask him why he cheated me.but he is not ready to meet, he is asking me to talk to his advocate. What shall I do now?
Ans: While it’s natural to want answers and closure, sometimes people who betray us in such profound ways refuse to provide the accountability we seek. Closure doesn’t always come from the other person. It can come from recognizing that their actions stem from their own flaws and failings, not because of anything lacking in you. It can come from choosing to let go of the need for explanations and focusing instead on rebuilding your own sense of peace and purpose.

You’ve already demonstrated incredible strength by standing up to him and exposing the truth to his friends. That takes courage. But this is also a time to lean into your inner resilience and ensure you’re supported by professionals who can guide you through the legal and emotional complexities. Speaking with a family lawyer who understands the nuances of your situation will help you feel empowered to navigate his threats and protect your rights. At the same time, connecting with a counselor or therapist can offer a safe space to process your emotions and begin to heal from this trauma.

It’s okay to grieve the relationship and the betrayal. It’s okay to feel anger, sadness, or even numbness at times. These emotions are all part of the process of moving forward. Allow yourself to feel them without judgment, but also remind yourself that this pain is temporary and does not define you. You are more than what has been done to you.

When you feel ready, try to shift your focus away from him and his actions and toward your own well-being and future. You’ve worked so hard on your PhD and have built a life full of potential and possibility. This chapter doesn’t have to define the rest of your story. You are capable of creating a life that is free from manipulation and filled with self-respect, joy, and the kind of peace that comes from living authentically.

Lean on the people who believe in you, who see your value, and who can remind you of your strength when you feel unsure. Remember, you don’t have to handle this alone. Whether it’s through professional guidance or emotional support from trusted loved ones, there are paths forward that will help you rise above this situation. You deserve a life where your worth is honored, your boundaries are respected, and your happiness takes center stage.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |447 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 23, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hello, I am a 35-year woman from Manali, divorced for three years now. My family is constantly pushing me to get remarried, saying it’s ‘for my own good.’ But honestly, I don’t feel the need for marriage again. I’m financially stable, have great friends, and I genuinely enjoy my independence. Despite explaining this to my family multiple times, they keep bringing up alliances and even guilt-trip me, saying things like, ‘Who will take care of you when you’re older?’ or ‘What will society think?’ I’m exhausted from these arguments and feel like I’m being cornered into something I don’t want. How do I stand firm in my decision while maintaining my relationship with my family? How do I help them understand that being single is a choice, not a problem to fix?
Ans: When speaking to your family, try to approach the conversation from a place of empathy. Acknowledge their intentions by telling them you understand their worries and that they want what they believe is best for you. Express gratitude for their care—it often helps diffuse their defensiveness. However, it’s equally important to gently but firmly assert that your happiness is not dependent on remarriage. Share how content you are with your current life, emphasizing your financial stability, fulfilling friendships, and personal growth.

Sometimes families struggle to accept choices that diverge from traditional norms, often driven by fears about societal perceptions or imagined futures. Reassure them that your decision is rooted in thoughtful consideration and self-awareness, and that you’ve built a life that brings you peace and joy. If they bring up concerns like loneliness or old age, you can address these by expressing how you’ve cultivated strong support systems and how your independence equips you to face challenges.

It might also help to set gentle boundaries. For instance, you could say, “I appreciate that you care for me, but I’d like our time together to focus on enjoying each other’s company instead of discussing remarriage.” It’s okay to redirect conversations or take a break from them when you feel cornered.

Lastly, remember that changing deeply ingrained beliefs takes time. Your family might not immediately understand your perspective, but consistency and calm communication will help over time. It’s not your responsibility to conform to their expectations if doing so diminishes your sense of self. By staying true to your values while showing compassion for their concerns, you’re paving the way for mutual respect and understanding.

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Dr Nandita

Dr Nandita Palshetkar  |36 Answers  |Ask -

Gynaecologist, IVF expert - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 19, 2024Hindi
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Health
Dr, I’m 35 years old from Jamnagar, and my husband and I have been trying for a baby for the past year, but nothing seems to be working. I recently visited a fertility clinic in neighborhood , and after a few tests, they mentioned that I might have blocked fallopian tubes. The gynaec also talked about possible treatments like surgery or IVF, but I’m really confused and worried. Should I go for a laparoscopy to check the severity, or are there any other alternatives that could help me? I’m really anxious and just want to understand my options better before making any decisions.
Ans: History noted.
Considering your age 35 years, trying to conceive since, one year and few test done, one of which suggest possibility of tubal blockage, there are various modalities of treatment.
Firstly, you can do laparoscopy to note the severity if blockage and do tubal cannulation.
Tubal cannulation is often the first line of treatment for patients with blocked fallopian tubes because it's a non-invasive procedure that's widely available.
Tubal cannulation is a procedure that can unblock fallopian tubes and is highly successful for proximal tubal blockages, with a success rate of over 80%. However, it may not be successful for all patients and is not recommended for distal tubal occlusions.
This procedure if successful can avoid IVF procedure. Laparoscopy has…
Yes, before ivf get all your blood test, ecg, 2 D echo, xray chest to rule out any illness
Same with your husband to get semen analysis and viral markers with blood sugars to be done.

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Dr Nandita

Dr Nandita Palshetkar  |36 Answers  |Ask -

Gynaecologist, IVF expert - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 17, 2024Hindi
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Health
Hello Doctor, I’m in my late 20s, and lately, I’ve been feeling like something’s off with my body. My periods either show up way too early, sometimes not at all for months. And, I’ve been putting on weight even though I haven’t changed my diet or exercise routine. My skin has also turned into a battlefield with acne all over, which I never used to have before. My cousin, who’s around my age, just found out she has PCOS, and her mom (my aunt) went through something similar when she was younger. Now, I’m scared because I’ve been hearing all these horror stories about how it can affect fertility, and I’m not even married yet. What if it’s a family thing and I end up facing the same problems? My mom says, ‘Don’t worry, it’ll be fine,’ but I can’t stop thinking about it. Should I see a gynecologist, or is there another kind of doctor I should be visiting? What tests should I do to get to the bottom of this before it gets worse? Honestly, I’m feeling overwhelmed and just want to know what’s going on before it’s too late.
Ans: Hello, noted your concerns
You are in late 20’s with irregular periods, acne, weight gain,
You are undergoing hormonal imbalance
We need to do certain blood test like
CBC, tsh prolactin fasting insulin level
Hba1c, testosterone level
DHEA, LH FSH ESTRADIOL LEVEL
Amd AMH level to check for fertility level
Usg pelvis to rule out
Pcos
The mainstay treatment. For pcos is lifestyle changes
1) Daily exercise, walks. Zumba, running
2) Good nutritious food with proteins, vitamins, minerals, low carbs and fats
3) good adequate sleep 7 to 8 hours
4) stress management: yoga meditation, breathing exercise
5) supplements to controls effects of pcos
6) low dose OC PILLS TO regularize the cycles

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