Home > Money > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7510 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 18, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Somnath Question by Somnath on May 14, 2024Hindi
Listen
Money

I am 44 but i have only 2 sip Parag parik flexi cap monthly 4k and Nippon large cap monthly 1.5k also yearly LIC premium 60k .in ppf i have 1 lakh. I want to make 2 cr in 8 yrs.Please guide on how would i can achive this goal.I am working as a senior manager now.

Ans: Achieving a Rs. 2 Crore Corpus in 8 Years
You’ve taken some prudent steps toward your financial goals. Let’s refine your strategy to help you achieve a corpus of Rs. 2 crore in the next 8 years.

Assessing Your Current Financial Situation
At 44, you have the following investments:

Parag Parikh Flexi Cap: Rs. 4,000 monthly SIP
Nippon Large Cap: Rs. 1,500 monthly SIP
LIC Premium: Rs. 60,000 annually
PPF: Rs. 1 lakh
As a Senior Manager, you have a stable income to support your investment journey.

Setting Clear Financial Goals
1. Define Your Target:
You aim to achieve a corpus of Rs. 2 crore in 8 years. This requires a strategic and disciplined approach.

2. Evaluate Current Investments:
Assess the performance of your existing SIPs and ensure they align with your long-term goals. Both Parag Parikh Flexi Cap and Nippon Large Cap are good choices, but you need to invest more to meet your target.

Enhancing Monthly Investments
1. Increase SIP Contributions:
To reach Rs. 2 crore in 8 years, you need to increase your monthly SIPs significantly. Consider allocating Rs. 50,000 to Rs. 60,000 per month towards diversified mutual funds.

2. Diversify SIP Portfolio:
Invest in a mix of large-cap, mid-cap, and flexi-cap funds to balance risk and returns. This diversified approach can help achieve higher growth.

Optimizing Existing Investments
1. Review LIC Policy:
Evaluate the returns from your LIC policy. Traditional insurance policies often offer lower returns. Consider shifting to mutual funds for better growth, while maintaining adequate term insurance for protection.

2. PPF Contribution:
While PPF is a safe investment, its returns are lower compared to equity mutual funds. Keep your PPF for stability but focus more on equity funds for growth.

Portfolio Diversification
1. Equity Mutual Funds:
Focus on high-performing equity mutual funds. Allocate a larger portion to aggressive growth funds like mid-cap and small-cap funds.

2. Debt Funds:
Include debt funds for stability and to reduce portfolio volatility. This ensures a balanced risk-return profile.

3. Hybrid Funds:
Hybrid funds offer a mix of equity and debt. They provide moderate risk and steady returns, suitable for medium-term goals.

Regular Monitoring and Rebalancing
1. Periodic Review:
Regularly review your portfolio with your Certified Financial Planner (CFP). Make adjustments based on market conditions and your financial goals.

2. Rebalancing:
Rebalance your portfolio annually to maintain the desired asset allocation. This involves shifting funds from over-performing assets to under-performing ones.

Emergency Fund and Insurance
1. Emergency Fund:
Maintain an emergency fund covering 6-12 months of expenses. This ensures liquidity for unforeseen events without disturbing your investments.

2. Adequate Insurance:
Ensure you have adequate health and life insurance. This protects your investments from being depleted by unexpected medical or life events.

Tax Efficiency
1. Tax-Saving Investments:
Invest in tax-saving mutual funds (ELSS) to avail of Section 80C benefits. This helps in reducing your taxable income while growing your corpus.

2. Long-Term Capital Gains:
Equity mutual funds held for over a year enjoy tax benefits, with long-term capital gains taxed at 10% beyond Rs. 1 lakh per year.

Avoiding Common Investment Pitfalls
1. Chasing High Returns:
Avoid investing solely based on past high returns. Diversify to manage risk and ensure steady growth.

2. Ignoring Inflation:
Ensure your investments outpace inflation. Equity funds, despite short-term volatility, typically offer inflation-beating returns over the long term.

3. Lack of Clear Plan:
Stick to a structured investment plan. Regular reviews and adjustments help stay aligned with your goals.

Conclusion
By significantly increasing your SIPs and maintaining a diversified portfolio, you can achieve your Rs. 2 crore goal. Regular monitoring, rebalancing, and consulting with a Certified Financial Planner will ensure your investments stay on track.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
Money

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7510 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 20, 2024

Listen
Money
Age 34.Am doing sip in. quant elss 9k, tata infra MF 4k, SBI technology fund 7k , quant psu fund 3k , Nasdaq 500 for 2.5k and stocks with 15% returns. I also have efo around 2 lacs. I want to make corpus of 2cr in 10 years. Currently holding around 20laks
Ans: Assessing Your Current Financial Position
You have made an excellent start in building a diversified investment portfolio. Your current investments include mutual funds and stocks, and you have an emergency fund of ?2 lakhs. Your goal to accumulate ?2 crores in 10 years is ambitious but achievable with the right strategy.

Evaluating Your Investments
Mutual Funds
Equity-Linked Savings Scheme (ELSS): Investing ?9,000 in ELSS funds is wise. These funds provide tax benefits under Section 80C and have the potential for high returns due to equity exposure.

Sector Funds: Your investments in infrastructure, technology, and PSU funds indicate a focus on specific sectors. While sector funds can offer high returns, they come with higher risks due to their limited diversification.

International Funds: Investing ?2,500 in the Nasdaq 500 fund adds geographical diversification. International funds can hedge against domestic market risks and offer exposure to global growth.

Stocks
Your stock investments are yielding a 15% return, which is commendable. Stocks can provide significant growth but require regular monitoring and expertise to manage risks effectively.

Emergency Fund
Maintaining an emergency fund of ?2 lakhs is prudent. This ensures financial security during unforeseen events without disrupting your investment strategy.

Recommendations for Portfolio Adjustments
Enhance Diversification
Balanced Allocation: Consider adding more diversified equity funds to balance the high-risk sector funds. Diversified funds reduce risk by spreading investments across various sectors.

Debt Funds: Incorporate some debt funds to provide stability to your portfolio. Debt funds are less volatile and can offer steady returns, balancing the high risk of equity investments.

Increase SIP Contributions
Annual Increase: Gradually increase your SIP contributions annually. This combats inflation and helps you reach your financial goal faster.

Top-Up SIPs: Utilize the top-up SIP option if available. This allows you to increase your SIP amounts periodically with ease.

Focus on High-Growth Assets
Actively Managed Funds: Continue focusing on actively managed funds rather than index funds. Actively managed funds can outperform the market through expert management.

Regular Fund Review: Regularly review the performance of your funds. Replace consistently underperforming funds with better-performing ones to optimize returns.

Tax Efficiency
Tax Planning: Ensure your investments are tax-efficient. ELSS funds are already part of your portfolio, but consider other tax-saving instruments as well.

Tax-Efficient Withdrawals: Plan withdrawals from your investments in a tax-efficient manner to maximize your net returns.

Achieving ?2 Crores in 10 Years
Targeted Growth Rate
Consistent Growth: Aim for a consistent annual growth rate of 12-15%. This is achievable with a well-diversified equity-focused portfolio.

Regular Monitoring: Regularly monitor your portfolio to ensure it stays on track. Adjust allocations based on market conditions and personal goals.

Risk Management
Portfolio Rebalancing: Periodically rebalance your portfolio to maintain the desired asset allocation. This helps in managing risk and optimizing returns.

Emergency and Contingency Planning: Maintain a robust emergency fund. Consider additional health and life insurance coverage as your family grows.

Long-Term Strategy
Financial Freedom
Calculate Future Expenses: Estimate your future monthly expenses considering inflation. This helps in determining the corpus needed for financial freedom.

Determine Retirement Corpus: Calculate the corpus required to generate a monthly income that covers your expenses. Use a conservative withdrawal rate to ensure the longevity of your corpus.

Continuous Learning
Stay Updated: Keep learning about market trends and investment strategies. This enhances your decision-making and helps in optimizing returns.

Professional Guidance: Regularly consult a certified financial planner. They provide expert advice on portfolio management, tax planning, and goal setting.

Conclusion
Your current investment strategy is strong and well-diversified. By continuing to review and adjust your investments, increasing SIP contributions, and focusing on tax efficiency, you are on the right path to achieve your goal of ?2 crores in 10 years. Keep focusing on high-growth assets and maintain a balanced portfolio to achieve financial freedom.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7510 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 30, 2024

Listen
Money
I am a working woman, 36 years old and earning 95000 per month. Investing 30k in RD, 13 k in SIP, 6500 IN EPF every month, 1 lac in Sukanya samridhi every year. I want to achieve 4 cr corpus after 15 years. My monthly expenses are 25k. Please advice
Ans: Financial Health Check-Up
It's great to see your investments. They cover various options, showing financial awareness. Your monthly income is Rs 95,000, and you invest Rs 49,500 in different schemes. Your monthly expenses are Rs 25,000, which leaves you with a surplus of Rs 20,500 each month.

Savings and Investments Overview
Recurring Deposit (RD): Investing Rs 30,000 per month.
Systematic Investment Plan (SIP): Investing Rs 13,000 per month.
Employees' Provident Fund (EPF): Contributing Rs 6,500 per month.
Sukanya Samriddhi Yojana (SSY): Contributing Rs 1,00,000 per year.
Assessment of Current Investments
Recurring Deposit
RDs are safe but offer low returns. They are good for short-term goals but not ideal for long-term wealth creation. Consider reducing RD investments and redirecting them to higher-return avenues.

Systematic Investment Plan
SIPs in mutual funds are excellent for long-term goals. They offer good returns and diversification. Ensure you have a mix of large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap funds to balance risk and return.

Employees' Provident Fund
EPF is a safe and tax-efficient investment. It provides steady growth over the long term. Continue with this investment for a secure retirement.

Sukanya Samriddhi Yojana
SSY is beneficial for your daughter's future needs. It offers good returns and tax benefits. Continue with this investment for her education and marriage expenses.

Recommendations for Achieving Rs 4 Crore Corpus
Increase SIP Contributions
Increase your SIP contributions. This will help you leverage the power of compounding. Divert some RD funds to SIPs in equity mutual funds for higher returns.

Focus on Equity Mutual Funds
Equity mutual funds tend to give higher returns over the long term. They are suitable for your 15-year goal. Opt for actively managed funds through a Certified Financial Planner for better performance.

Diversify Your Portfolio
Diversification reduces risk. Along with equity funds, consider debt funds for stability. A balanced portfolio will provide growth and safety.

Regular Review and Rebalance
Regularly review your investments. Rebalance your portfolio based on market conditions and your goals. This ensures optimal performance and alignment with your financial plan.

Emergency Fund
Maintain an emergency fund. It should cover 6-12 months of expenses. This fund provides a cushion during unexpected financial needs.

Detailed Action Plan
Reduce RD Investment: Lower your RD contributions. Redirect funds to equity SIPs.
Increase SIP: Increase your SIP amount gradually. Aim to invest at least Rs 25,000 per month in equity funds.
Diversify: Allocate some funds to debt mutual funds. This will balance your portfolio and reduce risk.
Review Regularly: Assess your portfolio every six months. Make adjustments as needed to stay on track.
Maintain Emergency Fund: Ensure you have an emergency fund of Rs 1.5-3 lakhs.
Final Insights
Your current investments are a good start. With some adjustments and disciplined investing, you can achieve your Rs 4 crore goal. Focus on increasing SIPs, diversifying your portfolio, and regular reviews. These steps will ensure you stay on track and meet your financial objectives.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Latest Questions
Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |4047 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 14, 2025Hindi
Listen
Career
This is my second attempt at SSC CGL, and I’ve improved since last year. But I’m still anxious about the descriptive paper. Can you suggest ways to stand out in this section and make my essay and letter writing more impactful?
Ans: The SSC CGL descriptive paper requires a clear, structured, and effective presentation. To improve your essay writing skills, review the subject matter thoroughly and avoid deviations from the central theme. Sketch an initial outline and adhere to a straightforward framework, including an Introduction, Body, and Conclusion. Start with a hook and express your thesis or stance in a concise manner. Arrange arguments in a logical order, using data, examples, and facts to establish credibility. Avoid repetition and maintain brevity.

In summary, concisely summarize the primary themes and offer a fair perspective. Avoid vernacular language and maintain appropriate sentence structure and grammar. Maintain a clean writing style and avoid overwriting.

For writing a letter, adhere to the conventional format, maintain clarity and conciseness, and articulate the purpose in the first paragraph. Use simple language and avoid intricate terminology.

Regularly engage in writing essays and correspondence on various subjects to develop adaptability. Stay informed about the latest news and hot topics. Develop time management skills and consistently proofread your work for errors.

Developing impactful essays and letters with clarity, structure, and content relevance enhances your chances of success in the SSC CGL descriptive paper. All The Best for Your Prosperous Future.

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on ' Careers | Health | Money | Relationship'.

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |493 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 05, 2025Hindi
Listen
Relationship
How to manage stress?
Ans: The first step is to become aware of what triggers your stress. This self-awareness allows you to address the root causes rather than just the symptoms. Once you identify these triggers, you can start exploring techniques that help you cope effectively.

One effective approach is to incorporate regular self-care practices into your daily routine. This could include activities that bring you joy and relaxation, such as exercise, meditation, or spending time in nature. These practices not only help calm the mind but also improve your overall mood and resilience to stress.

Talking to someone you trust, whether a friend, family member, or professional, can also be a powerful way to manage stress. Sharing your feelings and experiences helps lighten the emotional load and provides different perspectives that might help you navigate your challenges more effectively.

It's also important to focus on what you can control and let go of things that are beyond your influence. This shift in mindset can reduce feelings of helplessness and frustration. Setting realistic expectations for yourself and others can also alleviate unnecessary pressure.

Remember to give yourself permission to rest and recharge. Adequate sleep, a balanced diet, and time for relaxation are essential for managing stress. When you take care of your body and mind, you're better equipped to handle life's demands.

Lastly, cultivating a mindset of gratitude and mindfulness can help you stay present and appreciate the positive aspects of your life, even during stressful times. These practices can create a sense of balance and help you respond to stress in healthier, more constructive ways. By integrating these approaches into your life, you can build resilience and find a sense of peace amidst the chaos.

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |493 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 14, 2025Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Dear Counselor, My husband and I have been together for 11 years, with 10 years of dating and 1 year of marriage. Unfortunately, our relationship has been strained over the past year due to financial disagreements. Before marriage, we discussed his personal loan, which was taken for a land purchase for his mother. The loan repayment amounts to 30% of his salary. He assured me that, except for this loan repayment, he would not contribute financially to his parents' expenses until the loan was paid off. However, his parents are now pressuring him to increase his financial support by 20%. They claim to need help clearing their debts, despite being below 45, physically fit, and earning a sufficient income to support themselves. This situation is causing tension in our marriage, as we had planned to save and invest together, having no property or financial security of our own. I'm finding it challenging to understand why my husband is not prioritizing our financial goals and future together. please help me on this. Thank you for your time and guidance.
Ans: The key here is to approach the situation with empathy and open communication. Your husband likely feels a strong sense of duty towards his parents, which is understandable given cultural and familial expectations. However, it’s also important for him to recognize the commitments and plans you’ve both made as a couple. Balancing these two responsibilities can be difficult, but it’s essential for the health of your relationship.

Start by having a calm and honest conversation with your husband. Express your feelings without blame, focusing on how the situation affects both of you and your shared goals. It’s important that he understands your perspective and how the financial strain is impacting not only your plans but also your emotional well-being.

Encourage him to discuss his feelings and the pressure he’s experiencing from his parents. Sometimes, partners may feel caught between their familial obligations and their commitments to their spouse, leading to stress and internal conflict. Understanding his point of view can help you find common ground.

You might also explore practical solutions together, such as setting clear boundaries on financial support or finding a compromise that allows both your goals and his familial obligations to be met to some extent. This could involve budgeting, setting financial priorities, or seeking financial counseling to help manage the situation more effectively.

Ultimately, it’s about finding a balance that respects both of your needs and ensures that your marriage remains a priority. By working together and communicating openly, you can navigate this challenge and strengthen your relationship.

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |493 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 14, 2025Hindi
Relationship
Hi Mam, I met my ex wife in the college where we both were pursuing out studies. We exchanged contacts and started speaking over phone like couple does. When we fall in live we ourselves don't know as no one propose to each other. As i finished my studies, she quit studies in the middle and decided to do hotel management course. Amd it so happened, next day her interview was lined up but unfortunately due to unavoidable circumstances she has to go to her native place. As Covid struck she git stuck in her native place and couldn't come back. And when everything became normal i insisted her to come but her mom was not allowing. After a lot of struggle her mom allowed her and she came back. In this course of time both families was aware about our relationship. My mom was against her because of 2 reasons, 1) Intercaste 2) She was from very poor and low caste background. Them too i continued the relationship and i convinced to my sister and she convinced to mom. And when she was in native place, she said once that her voice has gone has gone she need 50k for operation. I trying madly to arrange funds and one of my friend told me that she is playing with you be careful but as i was blind in love i necer listened him. When she came to Mumbai i arranged a pg accommodation for her for some time and i use to take her out for dinner as there use to be regular fights with owner. Somehow i convinced my mom and shifted her to my place. There use to be fights but we use to care for each other also at the same time. She started to do events and slowly and steadily started to work in media. She was well aware that i dont like girls working media then too i have her permission to work in media temporary. I went against everyone, my family and friend and after 7yrs of relationship we decided to get marry and it was working fine. After marriage fight increased and she used to taunt though i did so much for her. Once she was not well and as she used to taunt me i never took care of her. One day my dear friend told me to check her phone, she might be seeing someone. And when i checked she was having an affair with Assistant director, i saw msgs photos. And when i confronted she said "He is just a friend and we talk normally" I saw they both on one bed and when i forward their pics to her mom she said "There might be some problem in you only." And when i asked to my ex wife about all this she said "A person goes where he or she gets love and care" All this happened within 6-8 months of our marriage. When i came to know about all this i tod her to leave my house and she was asking for divorce because of my mon's behavior also. I think i should have not tell her to leave as when she left i don't know but i love her very much. I even told her to give me one chance as i gave her but she didn't stopped talking with her bf. And she didn't gave me a chance and went away. We have been legally divorced but still i love her and ready to accept her. But she doesn't want to come back. I am trying to forget her but couldn't. Luckily we don't have kids. Sometimes my heart says let her go she cheated you. Sometimes it says i love now also. I am struggling to forgot her as i am in contact now also. Please suggest. Thank you
Ans: it's important to acknowledge and honor the love you felt and still feel. Love doesn’t simply disappear overnight, and it’s natural to have lingering emotions, especially when you’ve shared so much history and effort to keep the relationship going. However, it’s also crucial to recognize the harm and hurt caused by her actions and the unresolved issues that led to the breakdown of your marriage.

The fact that she chose not to return and continues to maintain contact with the person she was involved with suggests that she has moved on emotionally, even if you haven’t. Holding onto hope for reconciliation can keep you trapped in a cycle of pain and longing, which makes it harder to heal and move forward.

Your heart and mind are sending you mixed signals because you’re torn between the love you still feel and the reality of the betrayal. This is a common struggle after a significant loss, but it’s important to focus on what’s best for your emotional well-being. Continuing to be in contact with her may be preventing you from healing fully. It might be beneficial to create some distance, at least temporarily, to allow yourself the space to process your feelings and begin the healing process.

Focusing on yourself and your own growth is essential. Consider engaging in activities that bring you joy, spending time with supportive friends and family, and possibly seeking professional counseling to help you work through your emotions and develop strategies to move forward.

Letting go is difficult, especially when you still have love for someone, but it’s a crucial step towards healing. Accepting that the relationship has ended and focusing on your future can help you find peace and eventually open the door to new possibilities for love and happiness.
Asked on - Jan 15, 2025 | Answered on Jan 15, 2025
Listen
Thank you very much for ur reply. But i am finding difficult to forget her.
Ans: It might be helpful to focus on the following steps to move forward:

Acceptance: Accept that the relationship has ended and that continuing to hold on to it may be preventing you from healing. Acceptance doesn’t mean you have to stop loving her immediately, but it does mean recognizing that the relationship is no longer viable.
Self-Care: Prioritize your emotional well-being by engaging in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment. Surround yourself with supportive friends and family who can help you through this process. Consider exploring new hobbies or interests that can redirect your focus and bring positive energy into your life.
Boundaries: It might be time to set boundaries with your ex-wife, especially if staying in contact is causing you more pain. Taking a step back from communication can provide the space you need to heal and gain clarity.
Professional Support: Consider speaking with a therapist or counselor who can help you process your feelings and guide you through the healing journey. Professional support can offer valuable tools and strategies to navigate the complex emotions you’re experiencing.
Remember, healing takes time, and it’s okay to grieve the loss of the relationship. With patience and self-compassion, you can move forward, find peace, and eventually open yourself up to new possibilities and happiness in life.

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |493 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 13, 2025Hindi
Listen
Relationship
My partner and I are from different cultural backgrounds. She has always felt a strong spiritual connection to events like the Kumbh Mela. Earlier this year, while booking the tickets she had asked if I would like to join her as she is travelling solo. While I respect her beliefs, I refused to join because I am not a religious person. Now that she has booked her tickets, I am worried about her safety. Should I tell her to cancel her trip? I don't want her to think that I am disrespecting her choices or religion. Or should I just tag along and make her feel safe? How do I address these concerns and have a healthy conversation?
Ans: Start by having an honest conversation with her. Share your feelings about her safety in a caring and non-confrontational way. Let her know that your concern comes from a place of love and care, not from a lack of respect for her spiritual journey. It’s important to express that you understand her desire to attend the Kumbh Mela and that you support her connection to this event.

If you’re considering joining her, it could be a gesture of solidarity and support, even if you’re not personally invested in the spiritual aspect. However, it’s crucial to approach this as a way to share the experience together and ensure her safety, rather than as an obligation or with reluctance. If you decide to join her, communicate that you’re doing so because you want to be there for her, which could strengthen your relationship.

On the other hand, if you feel strongly about not attending due to personal beliefs, you can suggest other ways to support her. This might include discussing safety plans or staying in close communication while she’s there. This approach shows that you trust her decisions while still being there for her in a supportive way.

Ultimately, the conversation should aim to understand each other’s perspectives and find a solution that makes both of you feel comfortable and respected. Balancing your care for her safety with respect for her independence and beliefs is key to maintaining a healthy, supportive relationship.

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |493 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 09, 2025Hindi
Listen
Relationship
I am 42 Female currently, last marriage didn't go well, afraid of new start, I neither type of person who can go to club etc etc to "find someone" - What's the best way to move forward, Do we have genuine way of finding someone who can become reliable partner too (No tinder etc as again I knw myself now at this age, I can't) - Please guide
Ans: One of the best ways to meet someone compatible is through shared interests and environments where you feel at ease. Consider engaging in activities or communities that resonate with you. This could include joining local interest groups, volunteering, or taking classes in areas you’re passionate about. These settings not only provide opportunities to meet like-minded individuals but also allow connections to develop organically over shared experiences and values.

Another valuable approach is to lean on your existing network. Friends, family, and colleagues often know you well and can introduce you to others who might be a good match. These introductions can be more comfortable and trustworthy since they come from people who understand your personality and values.

It’s also important to give yourself time and space to heal and grow from past experiences. Building a reliable and meaningful relationship starts with being in a place where you feel confident and whole on your own. This self-awareness and emotional readiness will naturally attract the right kind of partner who values and respects you for who you are.

Remember, there’s no rush or specific timeline you need to adhere to. Allow relationships to develop at a pace that feels right for you, and focus on building connections that are based on mutual respect, understanding, and shared values. Trust that the right person will come into your life when the time is right, and until then, prioritize your own happiness and well-being.

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |493 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Listen
Relationship
My age is 48 years and i have one son aged 17 years and i am single son of my parents ,one and half year back my wife expired and upon insisted by my parents and close relatives i got remarried and she has one girl aged 8 years, after passing of six months she has started showing her true colors and it has become very difficult for me to continue and i want to get rid of this . Please guide me what should i do now.
Ans: Dear Dinesh,
it’s important to reflect on what is making the relationship difficult. Understanding the specific issues—whether they stem from differences in values, communication problems, or other conflicts—can provide clarity on how to move forward.

If you haven't already, consider having an open and honest conversation with your wife about your concerns. Sometimes, addressing issues directly can lead to resolutions or at least a better understanding of each other's perspectives. Counseling, either individually or as a couple, can also be a valuable tool in navigating these challenges and deciding the best course of action.

However, if you’ve already tried addressing these issues and find that the relationship is still untenable, it may be time to consider ending the marriage. It’s important to prioritize your emotional and mental well-being, as well as that of your son and stepdaughter. Divorce is never an easy decision, especially when children are involved, but staying in an unhappy and unhealthy relationship can have long-term negative impacts on everyone.

As you contemplate your next steps, it’s also important to lean on your support system. Friends, family, or a counselor can provide guidance and help you navigate this difficult period. Remember, prioritizing your well-being is not only crucial for you but also for your children, as they look to you for stability and emotional guidance. Making decisions that lead to a healthier and happier environment for everyone involved is ultimately the most important goal.

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |493 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 08, 2024
Relationship
Hello mam.I know a girl since college days.She is married to a guy since last 15 years.Since last 3 years we had an affair.I did take her for granted after our 2 nd half 3 years of relationship.Since a year now she has been giving me some or the other reason such as she is not getting feeling for me,husband is taking much care now so cant handle our relationship,then she told she has some health issue and now recently she tells me she has been telling me indirectly since a year to move on as she was in a relationship with some guy whom she got attracted in a mutual connection.But now she has discontinued with him as well. We do chat on message and call sometime but now since a year she herself has stopped calling or messaging.She replies only when i message or call. I want her back in my life and improve my relationship with her.Please guide me to get her back and have a relationship with her as we had till last year.What steps should I take to win her heart back and make her mine?
Ans: The first step is to acknowledge and respect her current feelings and boundaries. It’s clear she’s navigating her own emotional journey and trying to find clarity in her life. Pressuring her or trying to win her back without considering her current stance may push her further away.

Instead, focus on open and honest communication. If you genuinely care for her, it’s important to express your feelings without being demanding. Share how you feel, but also be willing to listen to her perspective fully. Understand that love and relationships are mutual, and both parties need to feel connected and invested.

During this time, it’s also essential to reflect on your own needs and emotional well-being. Ask yourself if this relationship, as it currently stands, is fulfilling and healthy for you. Relationships can be complicated, and sometimes stepping back to allow both people space to understand their feelings can lead to a clearer path forward, whether that’s together or apart.

Ultimately, your focus should be on building healthy, honest connections and prioritizing emotional well-being for both yourself and the people involved. If there’s a possibility of rekindling the relationship, it will come from mutual understanding, respect, and willingness from both sides.

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x