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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6971 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 22, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Asked by Anonymous - May 16, 2024Hindi
Money

Hi, I am 42 year old, I have capital of 50 lac. Where should I invest my money for next five years to get the best return?

Ans: Investing a capital of ?50 lakh for the next five years is a significant decision. At 42 years old, you're looking to optimize returns while managing risk effectively. Let’s explore various investment options that align with your goal of achieving the best returns over this period.

Understanding Your Investment Horizon and Risk Appetite
Five-Year Investment Horizon
A five-year period is relatively short in the investment world. While it’s longer than a typical short-term horizon, it’s not as extended as a long-term investment of 10-20 years. This timeframe allows for some exposure to equity but also necessitates a balance to mitigate risk.

Risk Tolerance
It’s essential to assess your risk tolerance. Given the relatively short horizon, a balanced approach with a mix of equity and debt would be prudent. This helps in capturing growth potential while safeguarding the capital.

Investment Options Overview
Equity Mutual Funds
Equity mutual funds are suitable for investors seeking high returns, albeit with higher risk. They invest in stocks and are ideal for growth over the medium to long term.

Large Cap Funds
Benefits: Invest in large, stable companies with a track record of steady returns. These are less volatile compared to mid and small-cap funds.

Suitability: Good for investors looking for moderate risk and reliable performance.

Mid Cap Funds
Benefits: Invest in medium-sized companies with higher growth potential. They offer higher returns than large cap funds but come with increased risk.

Suitability: Suitable for investors with a higher risk appetite looking for substantial growth.

Flexi Cap Funds
Benefits: These funds invest across all market capitalizations—large, mid, and small cap—allowing fund managers to optimize returns based on market conditions.

Suitability: Ideal for balanced growth and risk diversification.

Debt Mutual Funds
Debt mutual funds invest in fixed-income securities such as bonds and treasury bills. They provide stable and predictable returns with lower risk compared to equity funds.

Benefits
Stability: Lower risk and stable returns make debt funds a safe investment choice.

Liquidity: These funds are usually more liquid, allowing easier access to your money if needed.

Suitability
Debt funds are suitable for conservative investors looking to preserve capital and earn stable returns.

Hybrid Funds
Hybrid funds invest in both equity and debt instruments. They offer a balance between the growth potential of equities and the stability of debt.

Aggressive Hybrid Funds
Benefits: These funds have a higher allocation to equities (65-80%) and the rest in debt. They aim to provide higher returns while managing risk.

Suitability: Suitable for investors seeking a balanced approach with a tilt towards growth.

Balanced Advantage Funds
Benefits: These funds dynamically adjust the allocation between equity and debt based on market conditions. This flexibility can help in managing risk and optimizing returns.

Suitability: Ideal for investors looking for a balanced and flexible investment strategy.

Recommended Investment Strategy
Diversification
Diversification is key to managing risk and optimizing returns. By spreading your investment across different types of funds, you can balance risk and growth.

Suggested Allocation
Large Cap Fund: ?15 lakh
Mid Cap Fund: ?10 lakh
Flexi Cap Fund: ?10 lakh
Aggressive Hybrid Fund: ?10 lakh
Debt Fund: ?5 lakh
Regular Monitoring and Rebalancing
Regularly review your investment portfolio to ensure it aligns with your goals and market conditions. Rebalance as necessary to maintain your desired asset allocation.

Detailed Analysis of Fund Categories
Large Cap Funds
Stability and Performance
Large cap funds invest in established companies with a proven track record. These companies are usually leaders in their industries and offer stability and consistent returns.

Risk Assessment
Large cap funds are less volatile compared to mid and small cap funds, making them a safer option for conservative investors.

Mid Cap Funds
Growth Potential
Mid cap funds target companies in their growth phase. These companies have the potential to become large cap companies, offering higher growth opportunities.

Volatility Considerations
While mid cap funds offer higher returns, they also come with increased volatility. Investors should be prepared for short-term fluctuations.

Flexi Cap Funds
Diversification Benefits
Flexi cap funds provide the benefit of diversification across different market capitalizations. This allows fund managers to shift investments based on market conditions, potentially enhancing returns.

Flexibility
The ability to invest across all market caps provides flexibility to adapt to changing market scenarios, making these funds a versatile option.

Aggressive Hybrid Funds
Balanced Growth
Aggressive hybrid funds invest predominantly in equities while maintaining a portion in debt. This balance aims to capture equity growth while mitigating risk through debt.

Risk Management
The debt component helps in cushioning against market downturns, providing a more stable return profile compared to pure equity funds.

Debt Funds
Capital Preservation
Debt funds are ideal for preserving capital while earning stable returns. They invest in government securities, corporate bonds, and other fixed-income instruments.

Interest Rate Risk
While generally stable, debt funds can be affected by changes in interest rates. It’s important to choose funds with good credit quality to minimize risk.

Active Management vs Passive Management
Advantages of Actively Managed Funds
Professional Expertise
Actively managed funds benefit from the expertise of professional fund managers who make informed decisions to optimize returns.

Market Adaptation
Fund managers can adapt to market trends and economic changes, potentially outperforming passive index funds which follow a set index.

Risk Mitigation
Active fund managers can implement strategies to mitigate risks, such as diversifying across sectors or reallocating assets based on market conditions.

Disadvantages of Passive Funds (Index Funds)
Lack of Flexibility
Index funds follow a predefined index, limiting the ability to adapt to changing market conditions.

Lower Returns
While index funds offer lower fees, actively managed funds have the potential to outperform the market and deliver higher returns.

Conclusion
Investing ?50 lakh over the next five years requires a balanced approach to maximize returns while managing risk. A diversified portfolio with a mix of large cap, mid cap, flexi cap, aggressive hybrid, and debt funds can help achieve this goal. Regular monitoring and rebalancing of the portfolio will ensure it remains aligned with your financial objectives. Consulting with a Certified Financial Planner can provide personalized advice to optimize your investment strategy.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6971 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 29, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 21, 2024Hindi
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Money
I m 42 year old ,i have10 lack amount to investment, I want high return in in 5 year.where should invest.
Ans: At 42, with Rs 10 lakh to invest and a 5-year horizon, it’s wise to explore options that offer potentially high returns while considering associated risks. Let’s analyze your investment options to help you make an informed decision.

Assessing Your Investment Goals and Risk Tolerance
Before diving into specific investment avenues, it's essential to understand your financial goals and risk tolerance. Are you comfortable with high-risk, high-return investments, or do you prefer a more conservative approach?

Evaluating High-Return Investment Options
Considering your 5-year timeframe and the desire for high returns, here are some potential investment avenues to explore:

Equity Mutual Funds: Equity funds invest primarily in stocks, offering higher returns over the long term. However, they are subject to market volatility and may not be suitable for short-term goals.

Debt Mutual Funds: Debt funds invest in fixed-income securities like bonds and offer relatively lower returns compared to equity funds. They provide stability to your portfolio and are less volatile than equity funds.

Direct Stocks: Investing directly in stocks can offer potentially high returns, but it requires in-depth research and understanding of the stock market. Stock prices can fluctuate significantly in the short term, so it's essential to invest wisely.

Systematic Investment Plan (SIP): SIPs allow you to invest regularly in mutual funds, reducing the impact of market volatility through rupee cost averaging. It's a disciplined approach to investing and suitable for long-term wealth creation.

Understanding the Risks and Benefits
Each investment option comes with its own set of risks and benefits:

Equity Funds: While equity funds offer the potential for high returns, they are subject to market risks. Market fluctuations can impact the value of your investment, especially in the short term.

Debt Funds: Debt funds are relatively safer than equity funds but offer lower returns. They are suitable for investors seeking stability and income generation.

Direct Stocks: Investing directly in stocks can be rewarding but carries higher risks. Stock prices can be volatile, and individual company performance can affect your investment.

SIPs: SIPs provide the benefit of rupee cost averaging and disciplined investing. They are suitable for investors with a long-term investment horizon and risk tolerance.

Importance of Diversification
Diversifying your investments across different asset classes reduces risk and enhances returns. Consider allocating your investment amount across multiple avenues to spread risk effectively.

Professional Guidance
Consulting with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) can provide personalized advice tailored to your financial goals and risk tolerance. A CFP can help you assess your investment options and create a diversified portfolio aligned with your objectives.

Conclusion
As a 42-year-old investor with Rs 10 lakh to invest and a 5-year horizon, exploring high-return investment options like equity mutual funds, debt funds, direct stocks, and SIPs can help you achieve your financial goals. It's essential to understand the risks and benefits of each option and seek professional guidance to create a well-diversified portfolio.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6971 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 10, 2024

Money
I have a fund of 9 lakhs. I am 52 years lady. I want to know where can i invest so I can get better returns in the next 5 years.
Ans: Investing Rs. 9 Lakhs for Optimal Returns in 5 Years

Investing your hard-earned money wisely is crucial, especially as you approach retirement. As a 52-year-old woman with a fund of Rs. 9 lakhs, your investment decisions need to balance growth with safety. Let's explore various investment avenues that can help you achieve better returns in the next five years.

Understanding Your Investment Goals

Before diving into investment options, it’s important to understand your financial goals. Are you looking to grow your wealth significantly, or are you more focused on preserving capital while earning moderate returns? Clarity on these goals will help shape your investment strategy.

Risk Appetite Assessment

Given your age, it is essential to assess your risk appetite. Generally, individuals nearing retirement prefer lower-risk investments to ensure capital protection. However, a moderate allocation to equities can help in achieving higher returns, balancing growth with stability.

Investment Horizon

Your investment horizon of five years allows for some level of risk-taking, which can yield better returns. It’s not too short to be overly conservative, nor too long to miss out on growth opportunities.

Diversification is Key

Diversification helps mitigate risk by spreading investments across different asset classes. A diversified portfolio can provide a balance between risk and return.

Equity Mutual Funds

Equity mutual funds are suitable for a five-year investment horizon. They have the potential to deliver higher returns compared to traditional savings instruments.

Growth Potential: Equity funds invest in shares of companies. If the companies perform well, the fund's value increases.

Professional Management: These funds are managed by professional fund managers who have expertise in selecting stocks.

Types of Equity Funds: There are large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap equity funds. Large-cap funds are more stable, while mid and small-cap funds offer higher growth potential but with higher risk.

Systematic Investment Plan (SIP)

SIP is an investment method where you invest a fixed amount regularly in a mutual fund. SIP helps in averaging out the purchase cost and mitigates market volatility.

Disciplined Approach: SIP instills discipline in investing by ensuring regular investments.

Rupee Cost Averaging: It averages the purchase cost over time, reducing the impact of market volatility.

Flexibility: SIPs can be started with a small amount and increased as per convenience.

Debt Mutual Funds

Debt mutual funds invest in fixed-income securities like bonds and treasury bills. They are less volatile compared to equity funds and provide stable returns.

Stability: Debt funds are less volatile and offer stable returns.

Types of Debt Funds: There are short-term, medium-term, and long-term debt funds. Short-term debt funds are less sensitive to interest rate changes.

Liquidity: Debt funds offer good liquidity, allowing you to redeem your investment easily.

Balanced or Hybrid Funds

Balanced or hybrid funds invest in a mix of equity and debt. They provide a balance between risk and return.

Balanced Approach: These funds offer a balanced approach by investing in both equity and debt.

Risk Mitigation: The debt component helps in mitigating risk while the equity component provides growth.

Suitable for Moderate Risk Takers: Ideal for investors with moderate risk appetite looking for balanced growth.

Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP)

After the five-year investment period, you can use a Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP) to withdraw a fixed amount regularly.

Regular Income: SWP allows you to withdraw a fixed amount regularly, providing a steady income stream.

Tax Efficiency: SWP is tax-efficient as you pay tax only on the withdrawn amount, not the entire investment.

Capital Preservation: SWP helps in preserving your capital while providing regular income.

Public Provident Fund (PPF)

PPF is a government-backed long-term savings scheme with attractive interest rates and tax benefits. Though primarily for long-term, it can be a part of your diversified portfolio.

Safety and Security: PPF offers guaranteed returns with government backing.

Tax Benefits: Contributions to PPF are tax-deductible, and interest earned is tax-free.

Fixed Tenure: PPF has a 15-year lock-in period, but partial withdrawals are allowed after the seventh year.

Senior Citizens Savings Scheme (SCSS)

SCSS is a government-backed savings scheme designed for senior citizens, offering regular income and tax benefits.

Regular Income: SCSS provides quarterly interest payments, ensuring regular income.

Safety: Being government-backed, SCSS offers high safety.

Tax Benefits: Investment in SCSS qualifies for tax deduction under Section 80C.

Fixed Deposits (FDs)

Bank Fixed Deposits (FDs) are traditional savings instruments offering fixed returns. They are low-risk but may offer lower returns compared to mutual funds.

Safety: FDs are considered safe as they offer guaranteed returns.

Flexibility: You can choose the tenure as per your requirement.

Lower Returns: FDs generally offer lower returns compared to equity and debt funds.

Assessing the Benefits of Actively Managed Funds

Actively managed funds involve professional fund managers making investment decisions. They aim to outperform market indices, unlike index funds which merely replicate indices.

Potential for Higher Returns: Skilled fund managers can select high-performing stocks, aiming for higher returns.

Flexibility in Investment: Fund managers can adjust the portfolio based on market conditions.

Risk Management: Active management allows for timely adjustments to mitigate risks.

Disadvantages of Index Funds

Index funds, which replicate market indices, have certain drawbacks. They lack flexibility and potential for higher returns compared to actively managed funds.

No Flexibility: Index funds cannot adjust their portfolio to changing market conditions.

Limited Returns: They only match the index performance, potentially missing out on higher returns.

Market Downturns: In market downturns, index funds will follow the market trend, potentially resulting in losses.

Why Opt for Regular Funds

Regular funds involve investing through a Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD) with Certified Financial Planner (CFP) credentials. They offer several benefits over direct funds.

Expert Guidance: MFDs provide expert guidance in selecting suitable funds.

Portfolio Management: Regular reviews and adjustments are done by professionals.

Value-Added Services: MFDs offer additional services like financial planning and tax planning.

Disadvantages of Direct Funds

Direct funds are purchased directly from the fund house without intermediaries. They might save on commission costs but come with certain drawbacks.

Lack of Professional Advice: Direct investors miss out on professional guidance and advice.

Time-Consuming: Managing and reviewing investments require significant time and effort.

Potential for Mistakes: Without expert advice, there's a higher risk of making investment mistakes.

Emergency Fund

Before investing, ensure you have an emergency fund. This fund should cover at least six months of your living expenses. It provides financial security in case of unforeseen circumstances.

Liquidity: Keep the emergency fund in highly liquid instruments like savings accounts or liquid funds.

Safety: Prioritize safety over returns for your emergency fund.

Peace of Mind: Having an emergency fund offers peace of mind, allowing you to invest the rest confidently.

Health Insurance

Ensure you have adequate health insurance coverage. Medical emergencies can erode your savings if you lack proper insurance.

Coverage: Opt for comprehensive health insurance covering hospitalization, critical illnesses, and preventive care.

Premiums: Pay premiums regularly to maintain continuous coverage.

Peace of Mind: Adequate health insurance provides financial security against medical emergencies.

Evaluating Performance Regularly

Regular evaluation of your investments is crucial. It ensures your portfolio remains aligned with your goals and market conditions.

Periodic Review: Review your portfolio at least annually.

Rebalancing: Adjust the asset allocation if necessary to maintain the desired risk-return profile.

Professional Help: Seek assistance from a Certified Financial Planner for portfolio reviews.

Tax Planning

Effective tax planning can enhance your investment returns. Utilize tax-saving instruments and strategies to minimize tax liabilities.

Tax-Saving Investments: Invest in tax-saving instruments like ELSS, PPF, and SCSS.

Tax-Efficient Withdrawals: Plan withdrawals to minimize tax impact.

Professional Advice: Seek advice from a Certified Financial Planner for tax-efficient investment strategies.

Staying Informed

Stay informed about financial markets and investment options. Knowledge empowers you to make informed decisions.

Financial News: Follow financial news and market trends.

Investment Education: Educate yourself through books, online courses, and seminars.

Professional Guidance: Consult a Certified Financial Planner for expert advice.

Avoiding Emotional Decisions

Investing requires a disciplined approach. Avoid making emotional decisions based on short-term market fluctuations.

Stick to Plan: Stick to your investment plan and avoid impulsive decisions.

Long-Term Focus: Focus on long-term goals rather than short-term market movements.

Professional Support: Seek support from a Certified Financial Planner to stay disciplined.

Final Insights

Investing Rs. 9 lakhs wisely over the next five years requires a balanced approach. Diversify your investments across equity and debt funds for optimal returns. Regularly review your portfolio and stay informed about market trends. Avoid emotional decisions and seek professional advice from a Certified Financial Planner. Remember to have an emergency fund and adequate health insurance in place. These steps will help you achieve your financial goals while ensuring peace of mind.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |395 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 15, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I am 50 years old and got married 15 years ago. I am a very spontaneous sort of a guy and enjoy life, partying etc. I was also very active socially.My wife being the complete opposite put a stop to all that once we got married. She also does not display any affection and has no interest in physical intimacy. She is just concerned with her housework.We also have lot of differences in mental attitude & intellectual abilities. At no stage will we ever seperate, however, I am unhappy with her nature. She has lot of friends, however is always at daggers drawn with in her in laws. We had to stay separately for 6 months, and I tried looking for love else where, however after a couple of months, I realised, that I missed her. I am in a quandary. Despite requesting her to work on our relationship, I get no response. Please advise on how to proceed.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand you are in a tough spot. But it's nice to see that after all those years of differences, you still have genuine feelings for her. I strongly suggest considering marriage counseling. From your description of your marriage, it seems to be there have been issues from the very beginning of it. It's been too long and now those issues must've become deep-rooted. Seeing a professional can be a game-changer. They can guide you out of this slump more methodically and help you navigate the emotions you are feeling right now. It can also help you understand the reasons for your wife's disinterest and handle it better.

Best Wishes

...Read more

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Ravi Mittal  |395 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 02, 2024Hindi
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Hii, I have an love marriage after 9 years of dating and 6 years, 2 children post marriage, my little one is 11 months old now. My husband has an affair upto chatting to someone in his company, his junior but in different department, when my Lil one was 1 month old, we had in a rough patch then due to child birth and family drama. When I saw it and confronted him, he said he is sorry and won't do it again, we had multiple fights for 3-4 months after then due to same reason, but he mostly listen and consol. It's been a lot of mental torture for me. I love my husband a lot and he is a good person, but sometimes sill I see her msg in his phone asking for small helps or casual msg. She is also married. I am not sure my husband deletes msg or what, I am not able to get over this. Before it, this is was preety much a good relationship. I am highly educated and independent women. I don't want anything form my husband apart from love. What should I do, whenever I tell him I want to just leave and let him have his life, he won't let me somehow. We are having a good physical relationship 2-4 times a week( just to tell where we are). Please help me...I can't overcome that he is making fool of me...
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am sorry to hear you are in such a tough spot. I would suggest considering marriage counseling. A professional who can help you both tackle these issues would be helpful in this situation. I understand that it was his mistake and he needs to put the effort to make you trust him again, but since you are still together, you will also have to put in the effort to let it. I know it is difficult and that's where marriage counselor comes in. They can help you navigate these feelings. Moreover, if he is indeed hiding something, therapy can help that come out in the open.

Hope this helps.

...Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |395 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 10, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi, Me(M38) and wife(F37) happily married for 12 years and blessed with one daughter. Partner(F28)continuing friendship with a person[M] who had crush on her before marriage considered emotional infidelity? Me(M38) and wife(F37) happily married for 12 years and blessed with one daughter. My wife is having friendship (strictly platonic) with a guy from her 10tlh grade (same class). Before our marriage (she may be doing her college, our relationship just started may be 2 weeks) this guy told her he has genuine interest in her and he want to take the relationship further if she wants, she said she is not interested in a relationship and she got committed, she always saw him as a friend, no other feelings for him and we can be friends if you don't bring any romantic interest again. He never took this talk again ever after and happy to be a friend. They are talking as friends. She got married to me. He also got married. They still do chats once in a month. She introduced me to him and visited his home when we visited his city. He also came to our home once (me and my family was there). She used to update me with chat she had with him and the content they are chatting. I am ok with that When we were talking about our school life and college life 2 years before. She said this guy had crush on her during her college days. I asked her, why did not she tell me this info till now. She said it is not purposely, she does not feel the need to do as the person is not in-appropriate with her and continuing as good friend as promised after she rejected his proposal. I don’t want to create any unnecessary issues as I don’t have any felling or so with him. That time I checked their chats completely, it’s about update about their common friends, their recent travel, their job, meditation courses and the books they read recently. I haven’t seen any flirting or romantic message from either of them. So I am perfectly fine with it and had no problems. I recently came to know about the concept of emotional cheating which is very new to me. Before that cheating to me is only flirting, sexeting and physical sex. I have asked for advice in redddit.com in infedility sub forum about emotional cheating/ emotion affair. There persons are advising like even having friendship with someone who had crush on you is emotional cheating as it is indirectly leading them on you. So with an omission of lie he had crush on her and indirectly leading him on you wife was emotionally cheating on you. This is very much equal to cheating. I do have lots of friends in other gender, but no one had crush on me. Does this count as emotional cheating/affair as she did not mention he had crush on her before marriage? I am little depressed and not able to spend quality time with my wife who is in postpartum depression and take care of our daughter properly as before. Do you guys advise me how to navigate this situation?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Are you really going to ruin your happy relationship based on some new term you have learned recently? Emotional cheating and many more terms of the kind will come and go, what truly matters is the truth. She is merely friends with this guy and for your peace of mind, you have even checked their conversations- what part of it looks like cheating to you? If tomorrow, some random person projecting their own insecurities claims that a man speaking to a woman is some "new form" of cheating, would you start believing that? My point is that these are just random opinions of some people- it isn't the ultimate truth. The entire context matters. This man had a crush on your wife, she rejected it, and now they are just friends. I find absolutely no misconduct or infidelity in this. The fact that none of your friends had a crush on you does not factor in at all. Moreover, your wife is in postpartum depression- that should be your biggest concern but here you are, giving more importance to the random 2 AM thoughts of some people you don't even know. Please rethink if you are being fair to your wife- the mother of your child.

Best Wishes

...Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |395 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 26, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I (30M) am looking for Arranged Marriage Prospects. My Family has found a Prospect (27F) who seems like a Good Match, she's Well Educated, Earning Well & from the same Community. I haven't yet met her in Person, but connected with her on Social Media Platforms & interacting regularly. Recently, I scrolled through her Instagram Profile (It's a Public Profile). She seems to be a very Sociable Person, she has shared many Photos of herself, Partying/Travelling along with her Friends. My Problem is that she seems to like Wearing Clothes which are Revealing. She has shared many Photos/Videos, in which she's skimpily dressed (including some Bikini Photos at Beach/Swimming Pool). She also has a Pierced Navel Ring & Tattoos on some Private Parts like Chest, Hips, Thighs & Lower Back, which she flaunts proudly on Social Media. Though, I am not Judging her Character, based on her Choice of Clothing, but seeing all these made me a little Uncomfortable, as I am a very Modest & Simple Person myself. I have not discussed this issue with my Parents, as they have a very good opinion about her (which I don't want to Ruin). But I've discussed with some of my closest Friends (of both Genders) & some of them have Chided me for being so Judgemental. They suggested me to meet her atleast once in person, to understand what's her Character/Personality like. Shall I give it a try or Reject her Politely at this stage itself, without wasting any more Time (either her or mine)? Or am I being too Superficial to Judge a Woman, just based on her Social Media Profile, without even meeting her once, personally (This is what some of my closest Female Friends opined)? Please suggest me how to proceed with this Prospect in Arranged Marriage.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I know it might come off as you being judgmental of her choice of dressing, but you have a right to form an opinion in your mind, especially since in your case, you might be marrying the person. As long as you are not making up your mind about her based on her dressing, forcing her to dress the way she wants, or thrusting your opinion on her, it's alright. It's human nature to be a bit jerked by the choices others make that we won't make ourselves. Having said that, I believe meeting her once in person can be good for you; you might have a new perspective- both about her and on life. But no one can force you to do either. My suggestion is that do what you think is right- if you are sure you will reject this alliance based on her choice of clothes, even if she is the nicest person on the face of the earth, meeting up might be a waste of time. But if you think you are open to changing your mind, go for it.

I would also like for you to remember one important point if things work out between the two of you- do not try to push your opinions on dressing and change the way she is after getting married. That would not be fair. In case, you start hoping that she will change and fit YOUR mold of the perfect woman, I would strongly suggest keeping that thought in check.

Best Wishes.

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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