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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10870 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 17, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jun 17, 2024Hindi
Money

I 40 years now and Just now i have invested lumpsum amount in following mutual funds- all are direct growth 1. Quant smalcap fund - Rs 300000 2. Quant midcap fund - Rs 300000 3. Nippon India muticap - Rs 200000 4. ICICI Pru bluechip fund - Rs 200000 5. Canara rabeco emerging eqt -Rs 50000 Just now started SIP in following funds. 1. Quant smalcap fund - Rs 4000 2. Quant midcap fund - Rs 4000 3. Quant Active fund - Rs 4000 4. ICICI Pru Debt & equity -Rs 4000 5. Parag perigkh flexicap - Rs4000 Is this funds are good for long run for a period of 10 years?. How much amount I can expect after 10 years. My goal is to Construct a own house after 10 years.

Ans: Congratulations on taking a significant step toward building your financial future by investing in mutual funds. At 40, you are making a smart move by planning for your long-term goal of constructing your own house. Your current investments and SIP (Systematic Investment Plan) choices reflect a well-thought-out strategy for wealth accumulation over the next 10 years. Let's evaluate and understand the potential of your investment portfolio in detail.

Understanding Your Lump Sum Investments
Diversification Across Market Capitalization
Your lump sum investments include a mix of small-cap, mid-cap, multicap, blue-chip, and emerging equity funds. This diversification helps in spreading risk and capturing growth across different market segments.

Small-Cap and Mid-Cap Funds: These funds have high growth potential but come with higher risk. Over a 10-year period, these funds can provide significant returns if the market conditions are favorable.
Multicap and Blue-Chip Funds: These funds invest across various market capitalizations, providing a balanced approach. Blue-chip funds, specifically, offer stability as they invest in well-established companies.
Emerging Equity Fund: Investing in emerging sectors can be beneficial as these sectors have the potential for substantial growth in the future.
Potential Growth and Risks
Investing Rs 3,00,000 each in small-cap and mid-cap funds shows a high-risk appetite, which can be rewarding over the long term. The Rs 2,00,000 investments in multicap and blue-chip funds provide a cushion against volatility, balancing the portfolio. The Rs 50,000 in the emerging equity fund is a strategic move to tap into new growth areas.

Systematic Investment Plan (SIP) Contributions
Regular Investment Discipline
Starting SIPs in multiple funds ensures a disciplined approach to investing, taking advantage of rupee cost averaging and compounding benefits.

Small-Cap and Mid-Cap Funds: Continuing SIPs of Rs 4,000 each in these funds reinforces your growth strategy. Consistent investments will help mitigate market volatility over time.
Active Fund: SIP of Rs 4,000 in an active fund shows your trust in fund managers' expertise to outperform the market.
Debt & Equity Fund: This balanced approach with a Rs 4,000 SIP ensures you have a mix of stability and growth.
Flexicap Fund: A Rs 4,000 SIP here provides flexibility to invest across various market caps, enhancing diversification.
Balancing Risk and Return
Your SIPs indicate a balanced approach towards growth and stability. By investing Rs 20,000 monthly across these funds, you are steadily building your corpus, reducing the impact of market fluctuations, and benefiting from potential long-term growth.

Evaluating Your Investment Choices
Long-Term Growth Potential
Your chosen funds have the potential to grow significantly over the next 10 years. Historical data suggests that well-managed mutual funds, particularly in small-cap and mid-cap categories, can offer impressive returns. However, they are also subject to market risks.

Importance of Active Management
Actively managed funds have the advantage of fund managers making strategic decisions to maximize returns. While passive funds like index funds simply track the market, actively managed funds aim to outperform. Your choice of actively managed funds reflects a desire for potentially higher returns through expert management.

Assessing the Disadvantages of Direct Funds
Direct mutual funds have lower expense ratios since they do not involve intermediary commissions. However, without the guidance of a Certified Financial Planner (CFP), you might miss out on professional advice, which can be crucial for optimizing your investment strategy. A CFP provides valuable insights and helps in tailoring your portfolio to meet specific goals.

Expected Returns and Goal Achievement
Potential Corpus After 10 Years
Predicting exact returns is challenging due to market volatility. However, based on historical performance, equity mutual funds have the potential to yield substantial returns over a decade. Assuming a conservative average annual return, your lump sum and SIP investments can grow significantly, helping you reach your goal of constructing a house.

Importance of Regular Review
It is essential to regularly review your portfolio with your CFP. This ensures your investments remain aligned with your goals and market conditions. Adjustments may be needed to optimize performance and mitigate risks.

Benefits of Working with a Certified Financial Planner
Professional Guidance
A CFP can provide personalized advice, ensuring your investment strategy aligns with your long-term goals. Their expertise helps in navigating market complexities and making informed decisions.

Tailored Investment Strategies
CFPs consider your risk tolerance, financial goals, and market conditions to design a tailored investment plan. They help in balancing your portfolio and ensuring it adapts to changing circumstances.

Investing is a journey that requires patience and persistence. It's commendable that you are planning for a significant goal like constructing your own house. Your disciplined approach through lump sum investments and SIPs shows a strong commitment to your future. Understanding the risks and rewards associated with your chosen funds is crucial, and it's great to see you taking proactive steps.

Final Insights
Your current investment strategy, with a mix of lump sum and SIP investments in diversified mutual funds, is well-suited for long-term growth. By maintaining this approach and regularly consulting with your CFP, you are on a promising path toward achieving your goal of constructing your own house in 10 years. Stay focused, keep reviewing your portfolio, and adapt as necessary to stay on track.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
Asked on - Jun 18, 2024 | Answered on Jun 18, 2024
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Sir, Thank you very much for your precious advice and the time given for the detailed reply. I will keep focus towards my goal. Thanking you.
Ans: You're welcome! If you have any more questions or need further assistance, feel free to ask. Best wishes on your financial journey!

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10870 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Aug 13, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 02, 2024Hindi
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Money
Hi Sir, I am 34 years old and a salaried person. Following are my SIP in mutual funds which I had started recently. 1) Quant Smallcap G (Growth)- Rs.5K 2) Quant ELSS G - Rs.5K 3) Quant Midcap G - Rs.5K 4) Quant Value G - Rs.6K 5) Quant Active G - Rs.5K 6) Quant Infrastructure G - Rs.5K 7) Tata Digital G - Rs.2.5K 8) HDFC Defence G - Rs.5K 9) Motilal Oswal Nifty Microcap 250 G - Rs.2.5K 10) Nippon India Power & Infrastructure G - Rs.4K I intend to invest for 15-20 years thus please suggest whether mentioned Funds are good for long term. I intend to generate corpus of INR.5 crores.
Ans: Assessing Your Current SIP Portfolio
Your SIP portfolio is quite diversified, which is a positive step towards achieving your goal. You’ve chosen a mix of funds, which shows your interest in different sectors. However, it's important to assess whether this diversification aligns with your long-term goal of generating Rs. 5 crores in 15-20 years.

Portfolio Evaluation
Sectoral Exposure:
Your portfolio has significant exposure to sectoral and thematic funds, such as infrastructure and defence. While these funds can perform well in certain market conditions, they also carry higher risk due to their sector-specific nature.

Over-diversification Risk:
You've invested in 10 different funds. This might lead to over-diversification, where the benefits of diversification are diminished. Managing and tracking too many funds can also become complex over time.

Need for Core Funds:
While you have thematic and sectoral funds, it's essential to have a strong foundation in core funds like large-cap or flexi-cap funds. These funds provide stability and long-term growth, essential for achieving your Rs. 5 crore target.

Recommendations for Improvement
Focus on Core Funds:
Consider reallocating some of your SIPs to core funds that provide consistent growth. Actively managed flexi-cap or large-cap funds can offer better risk-adjusted returns over the long term.

Reduce Sectoral Concentration:
While sectoral funds can boost returns during specific market phases, they should not dominate your portfolio. Consider reducing your allocation to these funds and balancing it with diversified equity funds.

Avoid Direct Funds:
If you're investing in direct plans, consider switching to regular plans through a Certified Financial Planner. Regular plans offer professional guidance, which is crucial for long-term wealth creation.

Steps Towards Achieving Rs. 5 Crore Goal
Increase SIP Contribution:
To achieve Rs. 5 crores, you might need to gradually increase your SIP amount. Consider a step-up SIP strategy, where you increase your contribution by a fixed percentage annually.

Stay Committed to Long-Term:
Your goal aligns with a 15-20 year horizon, which is ideal for equity investments. Stay committed to your SIPs, even during market volatility, to benefit from the power of compounding.

Regular Portfolio Review:
Conduct an annual review of your portfolio with a Certified Financial Planner. This will help you stay on track with your goal and make necessary adjustments as needed.

Final Insights
Your current SIP portfolio has a mix of opportunities and risks. By refining your investments, focusing on core funds, and regularly reviewing your strategy, you can increase your chances of reaching your Rs. 5 crore goal in the next 15-20 years.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Milind

Milind Vadjikar  | Answer  |Ask -

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Sep 12, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 10, 2024Hindi
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Money
Hello sir , I am 40 years old , I have below investment. No EMI No Loan. FD - 60 lacs. Mediclaim - 10 lacs ( 20K per year) NPS - 50K Per year ( Since last 5 years) PPF - 150K Per Year ( Since Last 5 years) I am investing in below mutual funds through SIP. ( 32K Total) - Since last 3 Years ICICI balanced Advantage 2K HDFC Balanced Advantage 3K Tata Midcap and Largecap 3K Nippon India Small Cap 2K Motilal Midcap 2K ICICI Prudential Commodities 5K Quant Small Cap 5K HDFC Top 100 5K Parag Parikh Flexi 5K Is it good funds for long terms ( Horizon of 8/10 years) ? My income is arround 1.80 lac monthly , no home loan and emi. Shall I increase my SIP and my concern is 60 lacs is in FD ..Please suggest.
Ans: First and foremost enhance your healthcare cover upto 50 L - 1 Cr since healthcare costs are rising rapidly and as you grow older you may have more risks on the health front.

You have 32K SIP spread across 9 schemes which I would recommend to rationalise as follows:
HDFC BAF: 5K
MOSL Mid Cap:6K
Nippon S Cap: 6K
HDFC Top 100:7.5K
PPFAS F Cap: 7.5K

I recommend you to triple your SIP by multiplying above break-up by 3 so your monthly SIP will be 96 K. The 3 yr 32 K sip(previous @10%)+ 10 yr 96 K sip(13%considered) will yield a corpus of 2.5 Cr+ at the end of 10 years from now

Also if you invest 60 L in a conservative hybrid debt fund or a value based BAF for 10 years it will grow into 1.56 Cr (10% return considered)

So your Total corpus after 10 years will be 2.5+1.56= 4.06 Cr

An SWP of 6% will lead to monthly payout of 2L per month(pre-tax)

Make sure to transfer your gains from equity funds to debt fund as you reach closer to your target timeframe to safeguard your gains against volatility.

Enhance NPS contributions also to 1.5 L per year, if possible.

NPS & PPF corpus will yield you the delta to beat inflation.

*Investments in mutual funds are subject to market risks. Please read all scheme related documents carefully before investing

You may follow us on X at @mars_invest for updates

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10870 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Oct 24, 2024

Money
Hello sir , I am 40 years old , I have below investment. No EMI No Loan. FD - 60 lacs. Mediclaim - 15 lacs ( 20K per year) NPS - 50K Per year ( Since last 5 years) PPF - 150K Per Year ( Since Last 5 years) I am investing in below mutual funds through SIP. ( 32K Total) - Since last 3 Years ICICI balanced Advantage 2K HDFC Balanced Advantage 3K Tata Midcap and Largecap 3K Nippon India Small Cap 2K Motilal Midcap 2K ICICI Prudential Commodities 5K Quant Small Cap 5K HDFC Top 100 5K Parag Parikh Flexi 5K Is it good funds for long terms ( Horizon of 8/10 years) ? My income is arround 1.80 lac monthly , no home loan and emi. Shall I increase my SIP and my concern is 60 lacs is in FD ..Please suggest.
Ans: You have built a strong investment foundation, which is commendable. Here’s a detailed assessment of your current investments and strategies for the future.

1. Current Financial Situation

Monthly Income: Rs 1.80 lac
No EMI or Loans: This situation gives you a financial advantage.
Your financial discipline is evident through your savings and investments. This stability allows you to take calculated risks.

2. Investment Breakdown

Fixed Deposits (FD): Rs 60 lac

FDs provide safety but low returns.
Current interest rates may not beat inflation.
Mediclaim: Rs 15 lac (Premium: Rs 20,000/year)

Health insurance is crucial for financial security.
Ensure coverage is adequate as you age.
National Pension System (NPS): Rs 50,000/year

Good for retirement savings with tax benefits.
Ensure you know about the exit rules.
Public Provident Fund (PPF): Rs 1.5 lac/year

PPF is a safe investment with decent returns.

It helps in long-term savings and tax planning.

3. Mutual Fund SIP Investments

You are investing Rs 32,000 through SIPs in various funds. Here’s a brief look at the types:

Balanced Advantage Funds:

These funds balance equity and debt.
They adjust allocation based on market conditions.
Midcap and Largecap Funds:

Midcaps can provide higher growth potential.
Largecaps offer stability and lower volatility.
Small Cap Funds:

Higher risk with potential for greater returns.
Suitable for a long-term horizon.
Commodity Funds:

These are good during inflationary periods.
Be cautious, as they can be volatile.
Flexi-cap Funds:

Flexibility in investing across market caps.
Potential for strong long-term growth.
Overall, your choices reflect a diversified approach. This diversification can help manage risk while aiming for growth.

4. Long-Term Investment Horizon

Your investment horizon of 8 to 10 years is positive. Long-term investments can weather market fluctuations.

Market Volatility:

Historically, equities outperform in the long run.
Staying invested can yield significant returns.
Inflation Impact:

Equity mutual funds can help beat inflation.

FDs may not provide enough growth over time.

5. Increasing Your SIP

Given your stable income and lack of liabilities, consider increasing your SIP.

Extra Savings:

You can allocate more to mutual funds.
A higher SIP can lead to a larger corpus.
Inflation Hedge:

Increasing SIPs can help counter inflation.
Regular investments in equities can boost wealth.
Financial Goals:

Align your investments with future goals.

Think about retirement, children’s education, and other aspirations.

6. Concern About Fixed Deposits

Your Rs 60 lac in FDs is concerning for several reasons:

Low Returns:

Current FD rates are generally low.
Returns may not keep pace with inflation.
Opportunity Cost:

Money in FDs could generate better returns elsewhere.

Consider reallocating some funds to equity or balanced funds.

7. Suggested Investment Strategy

Here’s a 360-degree approach to enhance your investment strategy:

Reallocate Fixed Deposits:

Consider moving a portion to mutual funds.
This can provide better growth potential.
Increase SIP Amount:

Gradually raise your SIP from Rs 32,000 to Rs 50,000 or more.
This increase can significantly impact your long-term wealth.
Monitor and Adjust:

Regularly review your portfolio.
Adjust based on market conditions and personal goals.
Diversification:

Keep diversifying among sectors and funds.
Avoid putting all funds in one type of investment.
Emergency Fund:

Maintain a fund for unexpected expenses.

Ideally, this should cover 6-12 months of living expenses.

8. Tax Implications on Mutual Funds

Be aware of the tax implications when selling your mutual fund investments:

Equity Mutual Funds:

Long-term capital gains (LTCG) above Rs 1.25 lac are taxed at 12.5%.
Short-term capital gains (STCG) are taxed at 20%.
Debt Mutual Funds:

LTCG and STCG are taxed per your income tax slab.
Understand these rules to maximize returns and minimize tax liabilities.

Final Insights

Your current investment strategy shows a good mix. However, the heavy reliance on fixed deposits limits growth.

Consider increasing your SIP and reallocating some of your FD money to mutual funds. This strategy can help you achieve better long-term returns.

Stay informed about your investments and keep an eye on market trends. Regular reviews are essential for a successful investment journey.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10870 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Oct 24, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 11, 2024Hindi
Money
Hello sir , I am 40 years old , I have below investment. No EMI No Loan. FD - 60 lacs. Mediclaim - 15 lacs ( 20K per year) NPS - 50K Per year ( Since last 5 years) PPF - 150K Per Year ( Since Last 5 years) I am investing in below mutual funds through SIP. ( 32K Total) - Since last 3 Years ICICI balanced Advantage 2K HDFC Balanced Advantage 3K Tata Midcap and Largecap 3K Nippon India Small Cap 2K Motilal Midcap 2K ICICI Prudential Commodities 5K Quant Small Cap 5K HDFC Top 100 5K Parag Parikh Flexi 5K Is it good funds for long terms ( Horizon of 8/10 years) ? My income is arround 1.80 lac monthly , no home loan and emi. Shall I increase my SIP and my concern is 60 lacs is in FD ..Please suggest. Plus I want to invest 3 lacs lumpsum. Where to invest ? For long term 5/10 years.
Ans: At 40, your financial position is solid. You have Rs. 60 lakh in fixed deposits (FDs), a Rs. 15 lakh mediclaim policy, and regular contributions to NPS and PPF. Your SIP investments of Rs. 32,000 monthly across various funds, combined with no loans or EMIs, give you a robust foundation.

Let’s evaluate each aspect of your investments in detail, with suggestions for enhancing your portfolio for long-term wealth creation.

Fixed Deposit Concerns
FD Returns: Fixed deposits offer safety but low returns. The returns barely beat inflation, leading to a gradual erosion of purchasing power.

Action: You should not have Rs. 60 lakh tied up in FDs if you aim for long-term growth. Consider moving part of this into more growth-oriented avenues like mutual funds.

Mutual Fund Portfolio Review
You are investing Rs. 32,000 monthly in SIPs across various mutual funds. Let's evaluate if these funds are aligned with your 8-10 year goal.

Balanced Advantage Funds
ICICI Balanced Advantage (Rs. 2,000)
HDFC Balanced Advantage (Rs. 3,000)
Balanced advantage funds provide a blend of equity and debt. These funds adjust allocation based on market conditions. Over a long-term horizon of 8-10 years, they offer moderate growth with reduced risk compared to pure equity funds. Since you are investing for a medium to long-term horizon, continuing these SIPs is reasonable.

Midcap and Small Cap Funds
Tata Midcap and Largecap (Rs. 3,000)
Motilal Oswal Midcap (Rs. 2,000)
Quant Small Cap (Rs. 5,000)
Nippon India Small Cap (Rs. 2,000)
These funds can deliver higher growth but are volatile. For an 8-10 year horizon, midcap and small cap funds have great potential. Your investment mix here is well-diversified. Keep in mind that small-cap funds carry high risk in the short term, but since you are focused on the long-term, you can ride out the volatility for higher returns.

Large Cap Funds
HDFC Top 100 (Rs. 5,000)
Large-cap funds are stable and provide moderate growth. HDFC Top 100, being in this category, adds stability to your portfolio. It ensures that your portfolio is not overly exposed to market fluctuations. You should continue this SIP for balanced growth.

Sectoral and Commodities Funds
ICICI Prudential Commodities (Rs. 5,000)
Commodity funds are highly cyclical. While they can offer high returns during certain periods, they are also risky and volatile. Over the long term, they might not deliver as consistently as diversified equity funds. You should consider reducing your allocation here and channeling this money into more diversified equity funds, which provide a balanced risk-return profile.

Flexi-Cap Funds
Parag Parikh Flexi Cap (Rs. 5,000)
Flexi-cap funds are highly flexible, as they invest across large, mid, and small-cap stocks. Parag Parikh Flexi Cap is known for its consistent performance and global diversification. It's a good choice for a long-term horizon.

Recommendations for Portfolio Improvement
Reduce FD Exposure: Move a portion of your Rs. 60 lakh in FDs into a diversified equity mutual fund. Aim to keep only a small portion in FDs for emergencies.

Maintain Balanced Advantage Funds: Continue with your balanced advantage funds. They provide a safety cushion during volatile times.

Review Sectoral/Commodities Funds: Consider reducing your investment in commodities. Instead, focus on flexi-cap or mid-cap funds for balanced risk and return.

Increase SIPs for Long-Term Growth
Given your healthy monthly income of Rs. 1.80 lakh and no EMIs, you can consider increasing your SIPs to Rs. 40,000 or Rs. 50,000 monthly. This will help you accelerate wealth creation over your 8-10 year horizon.

Focus on Flexi-Cap Funds: Increase your investment in flexi-cap and midcap funds, as they offer higher growth potential.

Limit Sector-Specific Funds: Avoid putting more into sector-specific funds like commodities as they can underperform over the long term.

Balanced SIP Distribution: Aim for a portfolio with a good mix of large, mid, and small-cap funds for a balanced risk-return ratio.

Lump-Sum Investment Strategy
You have Rs. 3 lakh available for lump-sum investment. Given your long-term horizon of 5-10 years, consider investing in an equity mutual fund or a balanced advantage fund. Here are a few options to help grow your corpus:

Equity Funds: Opt for a flexi-cap or large and midcap fund. These funds are well-diversified and can offer superior growth over time.

Balanced Advantage Funds: If you prefer a bit of safety while still aiming for growth, you can invest this lump sum in a balanced advantage fund. These funds automatically adjust between equity and debt.

Systematic Transfer Plan (STP): To avoid market timing risk, consider investing this Rs. 3 lakh in a liquid fund and using an STP to gradually move the money into equity funds over the next 6-12 months.

NPS and PPF Contributions
You have been contributing Rs. 1.50 lakh annually to PPF and Rs. 50,000 to NPS. Both of these instruments are good for long-term wealth creation, particularly for retirement planning.

Continue NPS: NPS offers tax benefits and long-term growth. It’s advisable to continue contributing Rs. 50,000 annually. You can also increase the contribution if required.

PPF for Safety: PPF is a safe investment offering tax benefits and stable returns. Continue your Rs. 1.50 lakh annual contribution to PPF. It serves as a low-risk component of your portfolio.

Final Thoughts on Direct Mutual Funds
You mentioned investing through direct funds. While direct funds seem appealing due to lower expense ratios, they lack the benefit of personalized guidance. A Certified Financial Planner (CFP), along with a Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD), can help you manage and rebalance your portfolio efficiently.

Disadvantages of Direct Funds: Without professional guidance, investors may miss critical rebalancing or sectoral changes. A regular plan with an MFD provides you with expert advice, ensuring that your investments align with your long-term goals.

Benefit of Regular Plans: The small additional cost in regular plans ensures that your portfolio is regularly monitored by professionals, making sure you get the best returns.

Final Insights
You are on a strong financial footing with no loans or EMIs, regular SIPs, and a decent FD reserve. However, your FD holdings are too high, and this could slow your wealth creation. Rebalance your portfolio to include more growth-oriented investments.

By increasing your SIPs and allocating your lump-sum investment wisely, you can achieve higher returns over the next 8-10 years. Keep a balance between equity and debt for safety, and consider professional guidance to navigate market changes.

Stay focused on your long-term goals and review your portfolio every 6-12 months to ensure it remains aligned with your objectives.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

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Ans: Your story does not show failure.
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Most people give up.
You didn’t.
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Ravi Mittal  |676 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Dec 04, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 02, 2025Hindi
Relationship
My married ex still texts me for comfort. Because of him, I am unable to move on. He makes me feel guilty by saying he got married out of family pressure. His dad is a cardiac patient and mom is being treated for cancer. He comforts me by saying he will get separated soon and we will get married because he only loves me. We have been in a relationship for 14 years and despite everything we tried, his parents refused to accept me, so he chose to get married to someone who understands our situation. I don't know when he will separate from his wife. She knows about us too but she comes from a traditional family. She also confirmed there is no physical intimacy between them. I trust him, but is it worth losing my youth for him? Honestly, I am worried and very confused.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand how difficult it is to let go of a relationship you have built from scratch, but is it really how you want to continue? It really seems to be going nowhere. His parents are already in bad health and he married someone else for their happiness. Does it seem like he will be able to leave her? So many people’s happiness and lives depend on this one decision. I think it’s about time you and your BF have a clear conversation about the same. If he can’t give a proper timeline, please try to understand his situation. But also make sure he understands yours and maybe rethink this equation. It really isn’t healthy. You deserve a love you can have wholly, and not just in pieces, and in the shadows.

Hope this helps

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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