Home > Money > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help

40-Year-Old with 60 Lakh FD Seeks Investment Advice

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7336 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Nov 04, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Amaan Question by Amaan on Oct 09, 2024Hindi
Money

Hello sir , I am 40 years old , I have below investment. No EMI No Loan. FD - 60 lacs. Mediclaim - 15 lacs ( 20K per year) NPS - 50K Per year ( Since last 5 years) PPF - 150K Per Year ( Since Last 5 years) I am investing in below mutual funds through SIP. ( 32K Total) - Since last 3 Years ICICI balanced Advantage 2K HDFC Balanced Advantage 3K Tata Midcap and Largecap 3K Nippon India Small Cap 2K Motilal Midcap 2K ICICI Prudential Commodities 5K Quant Small Cap 5K HDFC Top 100 5K Parag Parikh Flexi 5K Is it good funds for long terms ( Horizon of 8/10 years) ? My income is arround 1.80 lac monthly , no home loan and emi. Shall I increase my SIP and my concern is 60 lacs is in FD ..Please suggest.

Ans: Your financial journey appears strong, with a clear focus on a balanced investment approach. Here’s a comprehensive review of your investments and a few suggestions on how you can further enhance your portfolio.

FD Investment: Evaluating Returns and Diversification
Having Rs. 60 lakh in fixed deposits ensures liquidity and safety, which is beneficial for short-term needs. However, FDs offer limited growth potential due to moderate interest rates, which are typically lower than inflation over the long term. This could affect your purchasing power in the future.

Consider diversifying a portion of the FD funds into options with better long-term returns, such as debt mutual funds or balanced funds. These alternatives can provide capital protection with a slightly higher growth potential than FDs. Debt mutual funds can be more tax-efficient than FDs, especially over extended investment periods.

Mediclaim Coverage: Ensuring Comprehensive Health Protection
Your existing health insurance coverage of Rs. 15 lakh is a good start. With rising healthcare costs, especially during retirement, this might need a boost over time.

If you haven't considered it already, a top-up or super-top-up health policy could be beneficial. It can increase your coverage at a minimal cost, providing greater security against medical emergencies.

National Pension System (NPS): Steady Retirement Planning
Contributing Rs. 50,000 yearly to NPS is a wise move as it provides additional tax benefits and builds a retirement corpus. The lock-in until retirement ensures disciplined savings.

Given your age, consider reviewing your NPS asset allocation between equity, corporate debt, and government bonds. This can help you maintain a balance between growth and stability, especially as retirement nears. Additionally, the NPS tier I account provides tax benefits that can complement your other investments.

Public Provident Fund (PPF): Reliable Long-Term Growth
Your PPF contributions of Rs. 1.5 lakh annually over the past five years are commendable. PPF is one of the most secure investment options for long-term goals due to its tax-free returns and government backing.

Continue with these contributions. PPF works well as a wealth-building tool, especially when held to maturity (15 years), as it compounds tax-free. This aligns well with your retirement planning.

Mutual Fund Portfolio: Assessing Fund Choices and SIPs
You have a well-structured mutual fund portfolio, investing Rs. 32,000 monthly. The diversity in fund types indicates a strong approach to long-term growth, but a few adjustments can maximize returns and stability.

Reviewing Balanced and Hybrid Funds
You’re investing in both ICICI and HDFC Balanced Advantage funds. These hybrid funds are useful for moderating risk, offering a blend of equity and debt.

For an 8-10 year horizon, balanced funds provide stability and moderate growth, which aligns well with your goals. However, ensure that these funds consistently meet your return expectations compared to other funds in the hybrid category.

Small and Midcap Funds: Assessing Growth Potential
Small and midcap funds in your portfolio, such as Quant Small Cap and Motilal Midcap, offer growth but come with higher volatility. Over 8-10 years, these funds can potentially yield high returns, given India’s growth story.

Review the performance of small-cap and midcap funds periodically. It’s beneficial to continue with small cap funds if your risk tolerance allows. Small caps can deliver excellent returns but require patience as they go through market cycles.

Sectoral and Thematic Funds: Weighing Commodities Exposure
Sector-specific funds, like the ICICI Prudential Commodities fund, can add concentrated exposure. These funds can generate strong returns in favorable conditions but may underperform in other periods.

Keep a close eye on the performance and market conditions. If you feel the commodities sector may underperform or add unnecessary risk, you might consider rebalancing this amount to more diversified funds.

Large Cap and Flexi Cap Funds: Ensuring Stability and Flexibility
Investments in HDFC Top 100 and Parag Parikh Flexi Cap provide stability and diversification. These funds cover top-performing large-cap companies and offer flexibility in market exposure.

Continue with these funds, as they create a stable foundation within your equity portfolio. Large-cap and flexi-cap funds offer better risk-adjusted returns, especially over long periods.

Consider Increasing SIPs for Accelerated Wealth Growth
With a monthly income of Rs. 1.80 lakh and no debt, your capacity to invest further is strong. Increasing your SIPs by even Rs. 5,000–10,000 monthly can significantly boost your corpus over the next 8-10 years.

You could allocate additional SIPs toward existing diversified funds or explore other categories like balanced advantage funds, which blend risk management with growth.

Taxation Strategy: Optimizing Post-Tax Returns
Equity Mutual Funds: For equity funds, long-term capital gains (LTCG) above Rs. 1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5%. If you redeem any funds, consider staggering withdrawals over different financial years to minimize tax impact. Short-term capital gains are taxed at 20%, so holding investments for the long term is more tax-efficient.

Debt and Hybrid Mutual Funds: If you move any funds from FDs to debt mutual funds, be mindful that both long-term and short-term capital gains from debt funds are taxed based on your income tax slab. However, debt funds may still offer better tax-adjusted returns compared to FDs, especially over longer periods.

Final Insights
Your current investment strategy is strong, diversified, and largely aligned with long-term growth goals. With no loans or liabilities, you’re well-positioned to make additional investments. Here are key takeaways for further growth:

Diversify Your FD Holdings: Move a portion of FDs to debt mutual funds for better tax efficiency and returns over time.

Increase SIP Contributions: Consider gradually increasing your SIP contributions to maximize the growth potential of your portfolio.

Periodic Review: Regularly review the performance of sectoral and small-cap funds to ensure they align with your financial goals.

Boost Health Coverage: Consider a top-up health insurance plan for additional coverage at a reasonable cost.

By consistently evaluating and adjusting, you’re set to achieve a well-rounded, growth-focused portfolio with minimized risk exposure.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
Money

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Milind

Milind Vadjikar  |800 Answers  |Ask -

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Sep 12, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 10, 2024Hindi
Listen
Money
Hello sir , I am 40 years old , I have below investment. No EMI No Loan. FD - 60 lacs. Mediclaim - 10 lacs ( 20K per year) NPS - 50K Per year ( Since last 5 years) PPF - 150K Per Year ( Since Last 5 years) I am investing in below mutual funds through SIP. ( 32K Total) - Since last 3 Years ICICI balanced Advantage 2K HDFC Balanced Advantage 3K Tata Midcap and Largecap 3K Nippon India Small Cap 2K Motilal Midcap 2K ICICI Prudential Commodities 5K Quant Small Cap 5K HDFC Top 100 5K Parag Parikh Flexi 5K Is it good funds for long terms ( Horizon of 8/10 years) ? My income is arround 1.80 lac monthly , no home loan and emi. Shall I increase my SIP and my concern is 60 lacs is in FD ..Please suggest.
Ans: First and foremost enhance your healthcare cover upto 50 L - 1 Cr since healthcare costs are rising rapidly and as you grow older you may have more risks on the health front.

You have 32K SIP spread across 9 schemes which I would recommend to rationalise as follows:
HDFC BAF: 5K
MOSL Mid Cap:6K
Nippon S Cap: 6K
HDFC Top 100:7.5K
PPFAS F Cap: 7.5K

I recommend you to triple your SIP by multiplying above break-up by 3 so your monthly SIP will be 96 K. The 3 yr 32 K sip(previous @10%)+ 10 yr 96 K sip(13%considered) will yield a corpus of 2.5 Cr+ at the end of 10 years from now

Also if you invest 60 L in a conservative hybrid debt fund or a value based BAF for 10 years it will grow into 1.56 Cr (10% return considered)

So your Total corpus after 10 years will be 2.5+1.56= 4.06 Cr

An SWP of 6% will lead to monthly payout of 2L per month(pre-tax)

Make sure to transfer your gains from equity funds to debt fund as you reach closer to your target timeframe to safeguard your gains against volatility.

Enhance NPS contributions also to 1.5 L per year, if possible.

NPS & PPF corpus will yield you the delta to beat inflation.

*Investments in mutual funds are subject to market risks. Please read all scheme related documents carefully before investing

You may follow us on X at @mars_invest for updates

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7336 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Sep 13, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 12, 2024Hindi
Money
Hello sir , I am 40 years old , I have below investment. No EMI No Loan. FD - 60 lacs. Mediclaim - 10 lacs ( 20K per year) NPS - 50K Per year ( Since last 5 years) PPF - 150K Per Year ( Since Last 5 years) I am investing in below mutual funds through SIP. ( 32K Total) - Since last 3 Years ICICI balanced Advantage 2K HDFC Balanced Advantage 3K Tata Midcap and Largecap 3K Nippon India Small Cap 2K Motilal Midcap 2K ICICI Prudential Commodities 5K Quant Small Cap 5K HDFC Top 100 5K Parag Parikh Flexi 5K Is it good funds for long terms ( Horizon of 8/10 years) ? My income is arround 1.80 lac monthly , no home loan and emi. Shall I increase my SIP and my concern is 60 lacs is in FD ..Please suggest.
Ans: Assessment of Current Investments
Your financial discipline is impressive. You’ve built a diversified investment portfolio with no loans or EMIs, which is a great advantage. Your investments in fixed deposits (FDs), PPF, NPS, and mutual funds through SIPs demonstrate a thoughtful approach to wealth building.

However, it’s important to review the effectiveness of these investments, especially for long-term goals. Let’s break down the strengths and areas for improvement.

Fixed Deposit (FD) - Rs 60 Lakhs

FDs are safe, but their returns can be lower than inflation over the long term. This reduces the purchasing power of your money. Given the low interest rates compared to inflation, it might not be ideal to keep such a large portion in FDs for a long time.

Consider shifting part of this amount to higher-return investments. A mix of debt and equity mutual funds can offer better growth with moderate risk. This will ensure that your corpus grows and does not lose value.

Mediclaim - Rs 10 Lakhs

Your health insurance coverage is essential, but Rs 10 lakhs might be insufficient in today's medical inflation. Since you are 40 years old, increasing your coverage to around Rs 20-25 lakhs would be wise. You can also look into super top-up policies for additional coverage at lower premiums.

Keep your premium manageable while ensuring you have enough coverage for any emergency.

NPS - Rs 50K Per Year

The National Pension System (NPS) is a good option for retirement savings. It offers tax benefits and helps create a retirement corpus. However, keep in mind that NPS has limited liquidity and locks in the money till retirement.

Continue with your current contribution, but it’s important to also have other flexible investments for retirement, which can be accessed before the NPS maturity if needed.

PPF - Rs 1.5 Lakhs Per Year

Your consistent contribution to PPF is excellent. PPF offers tax-free returns and acts as a solid long-term debt instrument. However, it has a 15-year lock-in period, and the returns are limited, which might not be sufficient to beat inflation in the long run.

Continue investing in PPF, but consider balancing it with equity-based investments for better overall growth.

SIPs in Mutual Funds
Your SIP investments show good diversification, with exposure to large-cap, mid-cap, small-cap, and flexi-cap funds. However, let's assess whether the fund selection aligns with your long-term goals.

Balanced Advantage Funds (BAFs)

BAFs are designed to manage market volatility by dynamically adjusting between equity and debt. Your allocation in these funds is good for managing risk, but the return potential might be lower compared to pure equity funds over the long term.

You may want to review your allocation here and consider increasing exposure to pure equity funds for better growth.

Midcap and Smallcap Funds

You have a healthy exposure to midcap and smallcap funds. These funds have the potential for high growth but come with higher volatility. Given your 8-10 year horizon, this allocation is suitable, as the long-term potential of mid and small-cap companies can help you achieve substantial gains.

Ensure you monitor these funds regularly, as they require careful attention to market cycles. If you can handle some risk, this allocation can continue to serve you well.

Commodities Fund

Your exposure to a commodities fund is unique. While commodities can provide diversification, they are often volatile and may not deliver consistent returns in the long term. Consider reducing exposure to this fund and reallocating it to equity or hybrid funds with better long-term growth potential.

Top 100 Large Cap Fund

Large-cap funds are stable and provide steady returns, making them a good choice for a conservative portion of your portfolio. Your investment here is well-placed for long-term wealth creation, as large-cap companies are usually more stable and less volatile.

Flexi Cap Fund

Your investment in a flexi-cap fund is an excellent choice. These funds offer flexibility to invest across market capitalizations, which helps in capturing opportunities across different market segments. Flexi-cap funds can provide good long-term growth due to their dynamic nature.

Recommendations for Future SIPs
Increase Your SIP Gradually

Since your income is Rs 1.8 lakh per month, and you’re already investing Rs 32,000 in SIPs, you have room to increase your SIP contributions. Increasing your SIPs by Rs 10,000 per month could help you build a stronger corpus over time.

You could distribute the increased SIP amount among equity funds, focusing on large-cap or flexi-cap funds for better risk-adjusted returns.

Shift FD Amount Gradually

You can consider gradually reducing your Rs 60 lakh FD and allocating part of it into mutual funds. A combination of debt and equity funds would provide better returns while managing risk.

For example, you could shift Rs 20 lakh from FD into a combination of balanced hybrid funds and debt funds. This would offer a balance between safety and growth.

Health Insurance Enhancement

Increase your health insurance coverage to at least Rs 20-25 lakhs. Super top-up plans can be a cost-effective way to enhance your coverage without significantly increasing premiums.

Diversification Across Asset Classes

While your portfolio is diversified, it can benefit from more balanced exposure between debt and equity. Consider introducing hybrid funds or balanced advantage funds to provide a cushion against market volatility.

Reevaluate Commodities Fund

Commodities tend to be more volatile and may not perform as well over the long term compared to equity funds. You might want to shift this allocation to equity-focused funds for better growth prospects.

Long-Term Strategy and Final Insights
You are already on the right path with your investments. The key is to refine your portfolio for better long-term growth and inflation-beating returns. Some key takeaways:

FD Allocation: Gradually reduce your Rs 60 lakh FD holding. Allocate a portion to debt mutual funds for better returns and liquidity.

Health Insurance: Increase your health coverage to Rs 20-25 lakhs.

Increase SIPs: Consider increasing your SIP contribution from Rs 32,000 to Rs 40,000, focusing more on large-cap and flexi-cap funds.

NPS: Continue contributing to NPS, but balance your retirement planning with more liquid investments.

Balanced Advantage Funds: While these provide stability, the growth potential is limited. Consider reallocating part of this investment into equity funds for long-term growth.

Commodities Fund: Reevaluate this fund as commodities can be highly volatile. Shifting this to equity-focused funds may give better returns over 8-10 years.

Flexi-Cap and Midcap: These funds are ideal for long-term wealth creation, so maintaining and slightly increasing your allocation can provide growth.

Regular Reviews: Monitor your portfolio regularly and make adjustments based on performance and market conditions.

Finally, your financial foundation is strong. With a few adjustments, you can further strengthen your long-term wealth creation strategy. Stay focused on your goals, and consider increasing your SIPs as your income grows. Your current path is promising, and with these improvements, you will be well-positioned to meet your financial goals.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7336 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Oct 24, 2024

Money
Hello sir , I am 40 years old , I have below investment. No EMI No Loan. FD - 60 lacs. Mediclaim - 15 lacs ( 20K per year) NPS - 50K Per year ( Since last 5 years) PPF - 150K Per Year ( Since Last 5 years) I am investing in below mutual funds through SIP. ( 32K Total) - Since last 3 Years ICICI balanced Advantage 2K HDFC Balanced Advantage 3K Tata Midcap and Largecap 3K Nippon India Small Cap 2K Motilal Midcap 2K ICICI Prudential Commodities 5K Quant Small Cap 5K HDFC Top 100 5K Parag Parikh Flexi 5K Is it good funds for long terms ( Horizon of 8/10 years) ? My income is arround 1.80 lac monthly , no home loan and emi. Shall I increase my SIP and my concern is 60 lacs is in FD ..Please suggest.
Ans: You have built a strong investment foundation, which is commendable. Here’s a detailed assessment of your current investments and strategies for the future.

1. Current Financial Situation

Monthly Income: Rs 1.80 lac
No EMI or Loans: This situation gives you a financial advantage.
Your financial discipline is evident through your savings and investments. This stability allows you to take calculated risks.

2. Investment Breakdown

Fixed Deposits (FD): Rs 60 lac

FDs provide safety but low returns.
Current interest rates may not beat inflation.
Mediclaim: Rs 15 lac (Premium: Rs 20,000/year)

Health insurance is crucial for financial security.
Ensure coverage is adequate as you age.
National Pension System (NPS): Rs 50,000/year

Good for retirement savings with tax benefits.
Ensure you know about the exit rules.
Public Provident Fund (PPF): Rs 1.5 lac/year

PPF is a safe investment with decent returns.

It helps in long-term savings and tax planning.

3. Mutual Fund SIP Investments

You are investing Rs 32,000 through SIPs in various funds. Here’s a brief look at the types:

Balanced Advantage Funds:

These funds balance equity and debt.
They adjust allocation based on market conditions.
Midcap and Largecap Funds:

Midcaps can provide higher growth potential.
Largecaps offer stability and lower volatility.
Small Cap Funds:

Higher risk with potential for greater returns.
Suitable for a long-term horizon.
Commodity Funds:

These are good during inflationary periods.
Be cautious, as they can be volatile.
Flexi-cap Funds:

Flexibility in investing across market caps.
Potential for strong long-term growth.
Overall, your choices reflect a diversified approach. This diversification can help manage risk while aiming for growth.

4. Long-Term Investment Horizon

Your investment horizon of 8 to 10 years is positive. Long-term investments can weather market fluctuations.

Market Volatility:

Historically, equities outperform in the long run.
Staying invested can yield significant returns.
Inflation Impact:

Equity mutual funds can help beat inflation.

FDs may not provide enough growth over time.

5. Increasing Your SIP

Given your stable income and lack of liabilities, consider increasing your SIP.

Extra Savings:

You can allocate more to mutual funds.
A higher SIP can lead to a larger corpus.
Inflation Hedge:

Increasing SIPs can help counter inflation.
Regular investments in equities can boost wealth.
Financial Goals:

Align your investments with future goals.

Think about retirement, children’s education, and other aspirations.

6. Concern About Fixed Deposits

Your Rs 60 lac in FDs is concerning for several reasons:

Low Returns:

Current FD rates are generally low.
Returns may not keep pace with inflation.
Opportunity Cost:

Money in FDs could generate better returns elsewhere.

Consider reallocating some funds to equity or balanced funds.

7. Suggested Investment Strategy

Here’s a 360-degree approach to enhance your investment strategy:

Reallocate Fixed Deposits:

Consider moving a portion to mutual funds.
This can provide better growth potential.
Increase SIP Amount:

Gradually raise your SIP from Rs 32,000 to Rs 50,000 or more.
This increase can significantly impact your long-term wealth.
Monitor and Adjust:

Regularly review your portfolio.
Adjust based on market conditions and personal goals.
Diversification:

Keep diversifying among sectors and funds.
Avoid putting all funds in one type of investment.
Emergency Fund:

Maintain a fund for unexpected expenses.

Ideally, this should cover 6-12 months of living expenses.

8. Tax Implications on Mutual Funds

Be aware of the tax implications when selling your mutual fund investments:

Equity Mutual Funds:

Long-term capital gains (LTCG) above Rs 1.25 lac are taxed at 12.5%.
Short-term capital gains (STCG) are taxed at 20%.
Debt Mutual Funds:

LTCG and STCG are taxed per your income tax slab.
Understand these rules to maximize returns and minimize tax liabilities.

Final Insights

Your current investment strategy shows a good mix. However, the heavy reliance on fixed deposits limits growth.

Consider increasing your SIP and reallocating some of your FD money to mutual funds. This strategy can help you achieve better long-term returns.

Stay informed about your investments and keep an eye on market trends. Regular reviews are essential for a successful investment journey.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

Milind

Milind Vadjikar  |800 Answers  |Ask -

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Oct 20, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 20, 2024Hindi
Listen
Money
Hello sir , I am 40 years old , I have below investment. No EMI No Loan. FD - 60 lacs. Mediclaim - 15 lacs ( 20K per year) NPS - 50K Per year ( Since last 5 years) PPF - 150K Per Year ( Since Last 5 years) I am investing in below mutual funds through SIP. ( 32K Total) - Since last 3 Years ICICI balanced Advantage 2K HDFC Balanced Advantage 3K Tata Midcap and Largecap 3K Nippon India Small Cap 2K Motilal Midcap 2K ICICI Prudential Commodities 5K Quant Small Cap 5K HDFC Top 100 5K Parag Parikh Flexi 5K Is it good funds for long terms ( Horizon of 8/10 years) ? My income is arround 1.80 lac monthly , no home loan and emi. Shall I increase my SIP and my concern is 60 lacs is in FD ..Please suggest. Plus I want to invest 3 lacs lumpsum. Where to invest ? For long term 5/10 years.
Ans: Hello;

You may reallocate your sip portfolio(request to increase it to 50 K monthly sip)as follows:

1. PPFAS flexicap fund: 15 K
2. Kotak Emerging Opportunities Fund: 15 K
3. Nippon India Small cap fund: 10 K
4. Sundaram Mid Cap fund: 10 K

All growth options.

For a 10 year horizon this is a good mix. Your allocation to PPF and NPS(non equity portion) are debt allocations in your overall asset allocation so no need for BAF & commodities here.

You may invest your FD corpus of 60 L in a equity savings type mutual fund (low to moderate risk) but better than FD returns.

It is recommended that you invest lumpsum of 3 L in Kotak Gold FOF/ETF.

After end of 10 years you may have combined corpus of 5.4 Cr. which may yield you a monthly income of 1.89 L (post-tax) if you buy an immediate annuity for your corpus. 6% annuity rate considered.

(Returns assumed as given: PPF-6.9%, NPS-9%, 3 yr SIP-10%, 10 year sip-13%, Gold-7%, Equity Savings Fund -9%)

Happy Investing;

*Investments in mutual funds are subject to market risks. Please read all scheme related documents carefully before investing.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |475 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Listen
Relationship
I am talking to a boy for arranged marriage. He said me that come to Bangalore you will have a good career. But he is also asking me if I can leave my job if I have got some responsibility in life to which I said yes. Then I said that I prefer own cooked food over cook cooked food. Then he asked me if I can cook for 2 people to which I said that I will have to look if I can do. He seems to be supportive when he talks on phone. Is he brain washing me, should I say yes or no. Is he a red flag. What should I do.
Ans: Dear Moumita,
It isn't fair to label someone as a red flag over a few days of conversation; seeing women take up responsibilities of home and disregard their own career or needs might be what he has seen growing up and it's not him being a red flag intentionally. A lot has to do with upbringing. What I can suggest with confidence is that if you love having your own job, and your own financial independence then please be vocal about it. Just because he is asking you to leave your job doesn't mean you have to do it- you are only in the talking phase. You are not married yet. You have ample time to rethink your choice. Cooking and housework shouldn’t just be your responsibility, just like earning and providing shouldn’t only be his. It’s about sharing the load equally. Having said that, I should also mention that every relationship is different, and each couple finds their own way of balancing things. Ultimately, everything boils down to what you are comfortable with- please take some time to figure that out and only then decide whether or not to take this relationship ahead.

Hope this helps.

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |447 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 25, 2024
Relationship
Hi, My GF of last 2.5 years gets attracted to men very often and shares her feelings with me as well. She developed feelings for a guy a year back and he kissed her once when they were drunk. She said she didn't had time to react and Later they had a talk, she informed me that they chose to be friends, she doesn't seems to in talking terms any more with him. She talks to lot of male friends who she claims are from LGBTQ community which I doubt whether all are or not. I always say she has the freedom to move on any given day but she can't cheat but she doesn't think getting attracted to multiple men and acting on it as cheating . She says, she is free spirited and she is ok even if I visit a prostitute house. She is in her early 30s. She had a crush another guy on insta and said she will definitely try him if he wasn't lot younger than her but later said he is her best friend and she is in constant touch. Lately, she says vibe doesn't match and have problem saying I am her BF. I tried to move on from relationship 2-3 times because of her above traits and now stopped talking since few days. She had both mental and medical issues. Can I trust her and will she have any mental issues again?
Ans: While it’s commendable that she is honest about her feelings and gives you the freedom to make your choices, it’s equally important to consider whether her values and actions align with what you need in a partner. Relationships thrive when there’s mutual respect, understanding, and agreement on boundaries. If her actions or mindset make you feel undervalued or emotionally unsafe, it’s crucial to reflect on whether this relationship is truly serving your well-being.

The fact that you’ve tried to move on multiple times suggests that there is a deeper discomfort within you about the dynamics between you two. Trust is not just about fidelity; it’s about emotional safety, reliability, and mutual respect. If her behavior consistently makes you question her commitment or your place in her life, that erosion of trust can become difficult to rebuild.

As for her mental and medical challenges, it’s important to approach those with empathy, but also with a clear understanding that you cannot "fix" or "heal" someone unless they are actively seeking and working toward their own well-being. If she has not addressed her mental health or continues behaviors that affect the relationship without taking responsibility, it can lead to ongoing strain for you. Her mental health challenges are not excuses for harmful behavior, nor should they become reasons for you to sacrifice your own emotional health.

You’ve already shown patience and willingness to work through these challenges, but the repeated cycles of doubt and frustration may be a sign that the relationship is taking more from you than it’s giving. Ask yourself if you feel supported, valued, and emotionally safe in this partnership. Relationships should bring out the best in you and your partner, not leave you questioning your worth or constantly trying to accommodate behavior that feels unfair.

Taking a step back, as you’ve done now, can give you the clarity to evaluate what you truly want and need in a relationship. If trust feels irreparably broken or if her behaviors and values are fundamentally misaligned with yours, it may be time to consider whether staying in this relationship is the healthiest choice for you. You deserve a partner who respects your boundaries and builds a connection based on mutual trust and understanding.

If you decide to stay, open communication and possibly couples’ therapy could help bridge the gaps. If you choose to move on, trust that this decision is about prioritizing your well-being and finding a relationship that aligns with your values and needs. Either way, your happiness and emotional health should come first.

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |447 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 23, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Hi Anu, My husband is in living relationship with another lady since April in another country. At the same time, he acused me as selfish for doing my PhD in my native country and put me in mental trauma by verbally accusing.Also,he was very clever, he step by step get rid of all the things related to our relationship and took bank all the bank fund in my name.After that he blocked me.I had doubts on his extra marital and asked him 1000 times. But he simply insulted and blocked me from all social media eventually. After finishing my PhD pre submission, when i went to meet him, in his place. I found him, shifted to another apartment. But i somehow, found it and there i came to knew, he is staying with a lady there for past months. I broke down and informed all his friends. Now he is threatening me for signing mutual consent, otherwise he will make false allegations and tore my good name..Already he partially did that. When I talked to his friends, he was crooked enough to tell them, i am a psycho, ademant, career oriented lady. I told him i am ready to give him mutual divorce after once we met in person. I want to ask him why he cheated me.but he is not ready to meet, he is asking me to talk to his advocate. What shall I do now?
Ans: While it’s natural to want answers and closure, sometimes people who betray us in such profound ways refuse to provide the accountability we seek. Closure doesn’t always come from the other person. It can come from recognizing that their actions stem from their own flaws and failings, not because of anything lacking in you. It can come from choosing to let go of the need for explanations and focusing instead on rebuilding your own sense of peace and purpose.

You’ve already demonstrated incredible strength by standing up to him and exposing the truth to his friends. That takes courage. But this is also a time to lean into your inner resilience and ensure you’re supported by professionals who can guide you through the legal and emotional complexities. Speaking with a family lawyer who understands the nuances of your situation will help you feel empowered to navigate his threats and protect your rights. At the same time, connecting with a counselor or therapist can offer a safe space to process your emotions and begin to heal from this trauma.

It’s okay to grieve the relationship and the betrayal. It’s okay to feel anger, sadness, or even numbness at times. These emotions are all part of the process of moving forward. Allow yourself to feel them without judgment, but also remind yourself that this pain is temporary and does not define you. You are more than what has been done to you.

When you feel ready, try to shift your focus away from him and his actions and toward your own well-being and future. You’ve worked so hard on your PhD and have built a life full of potential and possibility. This chapter doesn’t have to define the rest of your story. You are capable of creating a life that is free from manipulation and filled with self-respect, joy, and the kind of peace that comes from living authentically.

Lean on the people who believe in you, who see your value, and who can remind you of your strength when you feel unsure. Remember, you don’t have to handle this alone. Whether it’s through professional guidance or emotional support from trusted loved ones, there are paths forward that will help you rise above this situation. You deserve a life where your worth is honored, your boundaries are respected, and your happiness takes center stage.

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |447 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 23, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Hello, I am a 35-year woman from Manali, divorced for three years now. My family is constantly pushing me to get remarried, saying it’s ‘for my own good.’ But honestly, I don’t feel the need for marriage again. I’m financially stable, have great friends, and I genuinely enjoy my independence. Despite explaining this to my family multiple times, they keep bringing up alliances and even guilt-trip me, saying things like, ‘Who will take care of you when you’re older?’ or ‘What will society think?’ I’m exhausted from these arguments and feel like I’m being cornered into something I don’t want. How do I stand firm in my decision while maintaining my relationship with my family? How do I help them understand that being single is a choice, not a problem to fix?
Ans: When speaking to your family, try to approach the conversation from a place of empathy. Acknowledge their intentions by telling them you understand their worries and that they want what they believe is best for you. Express gratitude for their care—it often helps diffuse their defensiveness. However, it’s equally important to gently but firmly assert that your happiness is not dependent on remarriage. Share how content you are with your current life, emphasizing your financial stability, fulfilling friendships, and personal growth.

Sometimes families struggle to accept choices that diverge from traditional norms, often driven by fears about societal perceptions or imagined futures. Reassure them that your decision is rooted in thoughtful consideration and self-awareness, and that you’ve built a life that brings you peace and joy. If they bring up concerns like loneliness or old age, you can address these by expressing how you’ve cultivated strong support systems and how your independence equips you to face challenges.

It might also help to set gentle boundaries. For instance, you could say, “I appreciate that you care for me, but I’d like our time together to focus on enjoying each other’s company instead of discussing remarriage.” It’s okay to redirect conversations or take a break from them when you feel cornered.

Lastly, remember that changing deeply ingrained beliefs takes time. Your family might not immediately understand your perspective, but consistency and calm communication will help over time. It’s not your responsibility to conform to their expectations if doing so diminishes your sense of self. By staying true to your values while showing compassion for their concerns, you’re paving the way for mutual respect and understanding.

...Read more

Dr Nandita

Dr Nandita Palshetkar  |36 Answers  |Ask -

Gynaecologist, IVF expert - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 19, 2024Hindi
Listen
Health
Dr, I’m 35 years old from Jamnagar, and my husband and I have been trying for a baby for the past year, but nothing seems to be working. I recently visited a fertility clinic in neighborhood , and after a few tests, they mentioned that I might have blocked fallopian tubes. The gynaec also talked about possible treatments like surgery or IVF, but I’m really confused and worried. Should I go for a laparoscopy to check the severity, or are there any other alternatives that could help me? I’m really anxious and just want to understand my options better before making any decisions.
Ans: History noted.
Considering your age 35 years, trying to conceive since, one year and few test done, one of which suggest possibility of tubal blockage, there are various modalities of treatment.
Firstly, you can do laparoscopy to note the severity if blockage and do tubal cannulation.
Tubal cannulation is often the first line of treatment for patients with blocked fallopian tubes because it's a non-invasive procedure that's widely available.
Tubal cannulation is a procedure that can unblock fallopian tubes and is highly successful for proximal tubal blockages, with a success rate of over 80%. However, it may not be successful for all patients and is not recommended for distal tubal occlusions.
This procedure if successful can avoid IVF procedure. Laparoscopy has…
Yes, before ivf get all your blood test, ecg, 2 D echo, xray chest to rule out any illness
Same with your husband to get semen analysis and viral markers with blood sugars to be done.

...Read more

Dr Nandita

Dr Nandita Palshetkar  |36 Answers  |Ask -

Gynaecologist, IVF expert - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 17, 2024Hindi
Listen
Health
Hello Doctor, I’m in my late 20s, and lately, I’ve been feeling like something’s off with my body. My periods either show up way too early, sometimes not at all for months. And, I’ve been putting on weight even though I haven’t changed my diet or exercise routine. My skin has also turned into a battlefield with acne all over, which I never used to have before. My cousin, who’s around my age, just found out she has PCOS, and her mom (my aunt) went through something similar when she was younger. Now, I’m scared because I’ve been hearing all these horror stories about how it can affect fertility, and I’m not even married yet. What if it’s a family thing and I end up facing the same problems? My mom says, ‘Don’t worry, it’ll be fine,’ but I can’t stop thinking about it. Should I see a gynecologist, or is there another kind of doctor I should be visiting? What tests should I do to get to the bottom of this before it gets worse? Honestly, I’m feeling overwhelmed and just want to know what’s going on before it’s too late.
Ans: Hello, noted your concerns
You are in late 20’s with irregular periods, acne, weight gain,
You are undergoing hormonal imbalance
We need to do certain blood test like
CBC, tsh prolactin fasting insulin level
Hba1c, testosterone level
DHEA, LH FSH ESTRADIOL LEVEL
Amd AMH level to check for fertility level
Usg pelvis to rule out
Pcos
The mainstay treatment. For pcos is lifestyle changes
1) Daily exercise, walks. Zumba, running
2) Good nutritious food with proteins, vitamins, minerals, low carbs and fats
3) good adequate sleep 7 to 8 hours
4) stress management: yoga meditation, breathing exercise
5) supplements to controls effects of pcos
6) low dose OC PILLS TO regularize the cycles

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x