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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7101 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 08, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
V Question by V on Apr 14, 2024Hindi
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I am 38 yrs old with 1lakh salary living in rented house, due to some family issue all my saving gone ,again i hv starting saving from this year through Sip of 1k in each companies ,BOI small cap, nippon india power&infra,quant small,motilal oswal midcap,icici prudential commodities ,icici bluechip ,kotak infra&economics reform,axis nifty IT ,icici pharma index , nippon small cap, quant elss , quant aboslute, bandhan sterling value fund, hdfc focus 30 ,nippon largecap, hdfc multi cap, quant flexi cap , mahindra small cap, prag parikh flexi cap, quant large cap, quant psu fund, sbi balanced advantage , aditya birla sunlife osu equity , sbi energy opportunities fund, ppf 8k. Whether i need to conssolidate or better to invest in all with this amount till 1 yr and then consolidate as i want to retire at the age 55yrs and how much corpus i need for retirement at 55yrs and what amount i need to save as my monthly expense is about 55-60k?? Please help

Ans: It's commendable that you've restarted your savings journey through SIPs despite facing challenges. Given your situation, here's a suggested approach:
1. Review your portfolio: With a diversified portfolio of SIPs across various funds, it's essential to periodically review your investments' performance and their alignment with your financial goals.
2. Consolidation: Consider consolidating your SIPs into fewer funds to simplify your portfolio management and reduce administrative hassle. Choose funds that align with your risk tolerance, investment horizon, and financial objectives.
3. Retirement planning: To estimate your retirement corpus, calculate your expected annual expenses post-retirement and multiply it by the number of years you expect to live in retirement. Factor in inflation to determine the future value of expenses.
4. Savings target: Based on your retirement corpus requirement and the number of years left until retirement, calculate the monthly savings required to achieve your goal. Consider factors like inflation, investment returns, and any additional sources of income post-retirement.
5. Professional advice: Consult a certified financial planner (CFP) who can assess your financial situation comprehensively and provide personalized recommendations tailored to your goals and risk tolerance.
6. Emergency fund: Prioritize building an emergency fund equivalent to three to six months' worth of living expenses to cover unexpected financial setbacks.
7. Regular review: Periodically review your financial plan and make necessary adjustments based on changes in your financial situation, goals, and market conditions.
By consolidating your investments, setting clear retirement goals, and seeking professional guidance, you can work towards building a secure financial future.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7101 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 08, 2024

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Money
I am 38 yrs old with 1lakh salary living in rented house, due to some family issue all my saving gone ,again i hv starting saving from this year through Sip of 1k in each companies ,BOI small cap, nippon india power&infra,quant small,motilal oswal midcap,icici prudential commodities ,icici bluechip ,kotak infra&economics reform,axis nifty IT ,icici pharma index , nippon small cap, quant elss , quant aboslute, bandhan sterling value fund, hdfc focus 30 ,nippon largecap, hdfc multi cap, quant flexi cap , mahindra small cap, prag parikh flexi cap, quant large cap, quant psu fund, sbi balanced advantage , aditya birla sunlife osu equity , sbi energy opportunities fund, ppf 8k. Whether i need to conssolidate or better to invest in all with this amount till 1 yr and then consolidate as i want to retire at the age 55yrs and how much corpus i need for retirement at 55yrs?? Please help
Ans: It's commendable that you've restarted your savings journey through SIPs despite facing challenges. Given your situation, here's a suggested approach:
1. Review your portfolio: With a diversified portfolio of SIPs across various funds, it's essential to periodically review your investments' performance and their alignment with your financial goals.
2. Consolidation: Consider consolidating your SIPs into fewer funds to simplify your portfolio management and reduce administrative hassle. Choose funds that align with your risk tolerance, investment horizon, and financial objectives.
3. Retirement planning: To estimate your retirement corpus, calculate your expected annual expenses post-retirement and multiply it by the number of years you expect to live in retirement. Factor in inflation to determine the future value of expenses.
4. Savings target: Based on your retirement corpus requirement and the number of years left until retirement, calculate the monthly savings required to achieve your goal. Consider factors like inflation, investment returns, and any additional sources of income post-retirement.
5. Professional advice: Consult a certified financial planner (CFP) who can assess your financial situation comprehensively and provide personalized recommendations tailored to your goals and risk tolerance.
6. Emergency fund: Prioritize building an emergency fund equivalent to three to six months' worth of living expenses to cover unexpected financial setbacks.
7. Regular review: Periodically review your financial plan and make necessary adjustments based on changes in your financial situation, goals, and market conditions.
By consolidating your investments, setting clear retirement goals, and seeking professional guidance, you can work towards building a secure financial future.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7101 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 08, 2024

Listen
Money
I am 38 yrs old with 1lakh salary living in rented house, due to some family issue all my saving gone ,again i hv starting saving from this year through Sip of 1k in each companies ,BOI small cap, nippon india power&infra,quant small,motilal oswal midcap,icici prudential commodities ,icici bluechip ,kotak infra&economics reform,axis nifty IT ,icici pharma index , nippon small cap, quant elss , quant aboslute, bandhan sterling value fund, hdfc focus 30 ,nippon largecap, hdfc multi cap, quant flexi cap , mahindra small cap, prag parikh flexi cap, quant large cap, quant psu fund, sbi balanced advantage , aditya birla sunlife osu equity , sbi energy opportunities fund, ppf 8k. Whether i need to conssolidate or better to invest in all with this amount till 1 yr and then consolidate as i want to retire at the age 55yrs and how much corpus i need for retirement at 55yrs and what amount i need to save ,my monthly expense is 55-60k?? Please help!!
Ans: It's commendable that you've restarted your savings journey through SIPs despite facing challenges. Given your situation, here's a suggested approach:
1. Review your portfolio: With a diversified portfolio of SIPs across various funds, it's essential to periodically review your investments' performance and their alignment with your financial goals.
2. Consolidation: Consider consolidating your SIPs into fewer funds to simplify your portfolio management and reduce administrative hassle. Choose funds that align with your risk tolerance, investment horizon, and financial objectives.
3. Retirement planning: To estimate your retirement corpus, calculate your expected annual expenses post-retirement and multiply it by the number of years you expect to live in retirement. Factor in inflation to determine the future value of expenses.
4. Savings target: Based on your retirement corpus requirement and the number of years left until retirement, calculate the monthly savings required to achieve your goal. Consider factors like inflation, investment returns, and any additional sources of income post-retirement.
5. Professional advice: Consult a certified financial planner (CFP) who can assess your financial situation comprehensively and provide personalized recommendations tailored to your goals and risk tolerance.
6. Emergency fund: Prioritize building an emergency fund equivalent to three to six months' worth of living expenses to cover unexpected financial setbacks.
7. Regular review: Periodically review your financial plan and make necessary adjustments based on changes in your financial situation, goals, and market conditions.
By consolidating your investments, setting clear retirement goals, and seeking professional guidance, you can work towards building a secure financial future.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7101 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 02, 2024

Listen
Money
I am 38 yrs old with 1lakh salary living in rented house, due to some family issue all my saving gone ,again i hv starting saving from this year through Sip of 1k in each companies ,BOI small cap, nippon india power&infra,quant small,motilal oswal midcap,icici prudential commodities ,icici bluechip ,kotak infra&economics reform,axis nifty IT ,icici pharma index , nippon small cap, quant elss , quant aboslute, bandhan sterling value fund, hdfc focus 30 ,nippon largecap, hdfc multi cap, quant flexi cap , mahindra small cap, prag parikh flexi cap, quant large cap, quant psu fund, sbi balanced advantage , aditya birla sunlife osu equity , sbi energy opportunities fund, ppf 8k. Whether i need to conssolidate or better to invest in all with this amount till 1 yr and then consolidate as i want to retire at the age 55yrs and how much corpus i need for retirement at 55yrs and what amount i need to save ,my monthly expense is 55-60k?? Please help!!
Ans: It sounds like you're taking a proactive approach to rebuilding your savings through SIP investments in a variety of mutual funds. However, having such a large number of funds in your portfolio can sometimes lead to over-diversification and increased complexity without necessarily providing significant additional benefits.

Here are some suggestions:

Consolidate: Consider consolidating your portfolio to a more manageable number of funds, perhaps around 5-10 well-chosen funds. Look for funds that cover different asset classes, investment styles, and market caps to ensure adequate diversification.
Review Performance: Evaluate the performance of each fund in your portfolio regularly. Keep funds that have consistently performed well over the long term and consider replacing underperforming funds with better alternatives.
Risk Assessment: Ensure that your portfolio aligns with your risk tolerance and investment goals. Since you have a specific retirement goal in mind, it's crucial to assess whether your current portfolio allocation will help you achieve that goal.
Asset Allocation: Consider your desired asset allocation based on your risk tolerance and investment horizon. Allocate a portion of your portfolio to equities for long-term growth potential, but also consider fixed income or debt investments for stability and income.
Retirement Planning: Calculate how much you'll need for retirement at age 55 based on your current expenses, expected inflation, and any other sources of retirement income (like PPF). A financial advisor can help you determine an appropriate savings goal and investment strategy to reach that target.
Emergency Fund: Make sure you have an adequate emergency fund to cover unexpected expenses, typically 3-6 months' worth of living expenses.
Seek Professional Advice: Consider consulting with a financial advisor who can provide personalized guidance based on your financial situation, goals, and risk tolerance. They can help you create a comprehensive financial plan tailored to your needs.
By consolidating your portfolio, reviewing your investments regularly, and planning strategically for retirement, you can work towards building a more efficient and effective investment strategy.

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7101 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 18, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 17, 2024Hindi
Money
Sir, I am 38 years old and married and currently have no children or loan. I get a monthly income of Rs 75000/- out if which Rs 30000/-goes into monthly mutual fund sips. My monthly expenses are Rs 30000/-. I also transfer excess cash in an emergency fund when possible. I Invest Rs 50000/- each per year in NPS and PPF respectively and i have a mediclaim cover of Rs 10 Lakhs.I have 20 more years untill retirement. I would like to build a retirement corpus of Rs 2 crores. Kindly guide me as to how to go about it. Also is it recommended to open fixed deposits and if so then about how much worth should i open the same?
Ans: Your current financial strategy shows strong discipline and foresight. You are well on your way to building a substantial retirement corpus. Let's delve deeper into your financial situation and provide a comprehensive guide to ensure you achieve your retirement goal of Rs 2 crores in 20 years.

Current Financial Overview
Income and Expenses
Monthly Income: Rs 75,000
Monthly SIP Investment: Rs 30,000
Monthly Expenses: Rs 30,000
Surplus for Emergency Fund: Rs 15,000 (when available)
Annual NPS Contribution: Rs 50,000
Annual PPF Contribution: Rs 50,000
Existing Coverage and Investments
Mediclaim Cover: Rs 10 Lakhs
Emergency Fund: Accumulated over time
Time Until Retirement: 20 years
Assessing and Optimizing Your Strategy
Mutual Fund SIPs
Investing Rs 30,000 per month in mutual fund SIPs is commendable. This disciplined approach will benefit from rupee cost averaging and compound growth over time.

Advantages of SIPs:

Regular Investment: Ensures consistent contributions irrespective of market conditions.
Rupee Cost Averaging: Buys more units when prices are low and fewer when prices are high, averaging the cost.
Compounding: Returns reinvested grow exponentially over time.
Recommendation: Continue your current SIPs. Periodically review the performance and diversify across equity, debt, and hybrid funds to balance risk and returns.

National Pension System (NPS)
The NPS is a good choice for long-term retirement planning. Your annual contribution of Rs 50,000 benefits from tax deductions under Section 80C and 80CCD.

Advantages of NPS:

Tax Benefits: Reduces taxable income, providing immediate tax savings.
Retirement Corpus: Builds a substantial corpus with market-linked growth.
Annuity Option: Ensures a regular pension post-retirement.
Recommendation: Continue your NPS contributions. Consider increasing the amount gradually to maximize the retirement corpus and tax benefits.

Public Provident Fund (PPF)
PPF is a safe, long-term investment with assured returns and tax benefits. Your annual contribution of Rs 50,000 to PPF is a prudent choice.

Advantages of PPF:

Safety: Government-backed, providing guaranteed returns.
Tax Benefits: Contributions and interest earned are tax-free under Section 80C.
Long-Term Growth: Suitable for retirement planning due to the 15-year lock-in period.
Recommendation: Continue your annual PPF contributions. It ensures a risk-free portion of your retirement corpus.

Emergency Fund
Having an emergency fund is essential for financial stability. It should cover at least six months of living expenses to manage unforeseen events without liquidating investments.

Recommendation: Maintain and gradually increase your emergency fund to the desired level. Allocate the Rs 15,000 monthly surplus when possible to build this fund.

Building a Rs 2 Crore Retirement Corpus
Calculating the Required Monthly Investment
To build a retirement corpus of Rs 2 crores in 20 years, let's assume an average annual return of 10% from your diversified portfolio (a mix of equity and debt).

Steps to Achieve the Goal:

Evaluate Current Contributions: Calculate the future value of your existing SIPs, NPS, and PPF contributions.
Adjust Investments: Determine if additional monthly investments are needed to meet the target.
Review and Rebalance: Periodically review and adjust the portfolio to stay on track.
Example:

Current SIPs: Rs 30,000/month
NPS Contribution: Rs 50,000/year
PPF Contribution: Rs 50,000/year
Assuming a 10% annual return, calculate the future value of these investments over 20 years.

Importance of Diversification
Equity Mutual Funds
Equity mutual funds offer high growth potential but come with higher risk. Diversifying across large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap funds can balance the risk.

Recommendation: Allocate a portion of your SIPs to equity mutual funds. Diversify across different types to capture growth while managing risk.

Debt Mutual Funds
Debt mutual funds provide stability and lower risk compared to equity funds. They are ideal for balancing the overall portfolio.

Recommendation: Include debt mutual funds in your SIP portfolio. They offer stable returns and act as a cushion during market volatility.

Balanced or Hybrid Funds
Balanced or hybrid funds invest in a mix of equity and debt instruments, providing growth potential with reduced risk.

Recommendation: Consider balanced funds to maintain a diversified portfolio with a balanced risk-return profile.

Fixed Deposits: A Conservative Approach
Fixed deposits (FDs) offer guaranteed returns and safety but generally lower returns compared to mutual funds. They are suitable for short-term goals and as part of an emergency fund.

Advantages of FDs:

Safety: Principal is secure with assured returns.
Liquidity: Can be easily liquidated if needed.
Predictable Returns: Ideal for short-term financial goals.
Recommendation: Allocate a portion of your emergency fund or short-term savings to FDs. Avoid over-reliance on FDs for long-term growth due to lower returns.

Tax Efficiency
Tax-Saving Instruments
Investing in tax-saving instruments like ELSS (Equity Linked Savings Scheme) can optimize tax benefits and contribute to wealth creation.

Advantages of ELSS:

Tax Deductions: Eligible for deductions under Section 80C.
Short Lock-In Period: Only a three-year lock-in compared to PPF.
Growth Potential: Equity exposure provides high growth potential.
Recommendation: Consider ELSS for tax-saving purposes and long-term growth. It complements your existing tax-saving strategies.

Monitoring and Rebalancing
Regularly monitoring and rebalancing your portfolio ensures it aligns with your financial goals and risk tolerance. Market conditions change, and so do your financial needs.

Recommendation: Review your portfolio at least annually. Rebalance if necessary to maintain the desired asset allocation and optimize returns.

Final Insights
Your current financial strategy is robust and well-structured. Investing Rs 30,000 monthly in SIPs, Rs 50,000 annually in NPS, and Rs 50,000 annually in PPF reflects a disciplined approach. To build a retirement corpus of Rs 2 crores in 20 years, consider the following steps:

Continue Current Investments: Maintain your SIPs, NPS, and PPF contributions. They form a solid foundation for your retirement corpus.
Diversify Portfolio: Include equity, debt, and balanced funds in your SIPs to balance risk and maximize returns.
Build Emergency Fund: Ensure your emergency fund covers at least six months of living expenses. Allocate the monthly surplus towards this fund.
Consider Tax-Saving Instruments: ELSS can provide additional tax benefits and growth potential.
Monitor and Rebalance: Regularly review and adjust your portfolio to stay aligned with your goals.
Fixed deposits can be part of your emergency fund or short-term savings but avoid relying heavily on them for long-term growth. By following these recommendations, you are on the right path to achieving your retirement goal of Rs 2 crores.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

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Anu Krishna  |1327 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 25, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 21, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I 25M) have been in a Long Distance Emotional Relationship with a College Friend (25F) whom I'd known since more than 3 years. Although, neither of us has explicitly confessed to each other, but we both seemed to have strong Feelings for each other. We both have shared a lot of personal matters about ourselves, with each other (which are unknown to even some of our Closest Friends). We both share similar Values & Outlook towards various aspects of Life (including our Long Term Career Goals). We both used to chat on WhatsApp almost everyday, sharing our experiences, opinions, knowledge etc. I used to Flirt with her by writing Romantic Poetry for her, once she'd also confessed that she's falling for me. But what has stopped us both from proposing Love to one another is the difference in our Family Background (I'm from a Telugu Speaking Hindu Brahmin Family & she's from a Malayali Catholic Christian Family, but we both studied together from a College in Gujarat). As of now, we both are in different States Studying/Working in different fields. But both of us have been preparing for UPSC, which is our ultimate Career Goal & we also used to discuss the Subject matter & Preparation Plans, helping out each other. Presently, the Problem is that She seems to have Ghosted me (since a Month) citing a silly reason that her Phone got Damaged (she'd said something like this even in 2021), but I see her active on various Social Media Platforms, regularly. I have tried reaching out to her through all the Social Media Platforms & have even called her up, but there's no Response at all, from her side. I am not able to understand why she has Ghosted me like this, atleast she could have honestly told me the actual Reason. Sometimes, I feel guilty that I must have been a distraction to her Studies. But I have very strong Feelings for her, which I'd never felt for any other Girl & I believe that we can have a Future together. We both could continue complementing each other in the course of UPSC Preparation & acting as each other's motivation & emotional support (as seen in the Movie "12th Fail"). And if we both successfully clear UPSC together, we could try to convince our Parents for Marriage (these are not just my Fantasies, even she had indirectly expressed her interest in sharing her Future Life with me). Now, I don't understand what to do? How to reach out to her & sort out things between us? If not reconciliation, I believe that I deserve atleast a definite closure with Honest communication. Though, I am going along with my UPSC Preparation, every now & then, I can't Help thinking of her, I'm feeling Lonely, her Emotional & Intellectual Company would be a great Help in the course of my Preparation. She's always been a Positive Motivation not a Distraction in my Career Path. Please advise me, how do I get back at her, presently, she's working in a different State, so reaching out to meet her in person is not feasible & I have unsuccessfully tried out all other means of Communication. What should I do now? I want to hear from her again, I'd feel satisfied even if she breaks it up with me, honestly stating the Reason. I am feeling restless due to this Uncertainty. Should I persistently keep trying to reach out to her, through different means, without giving up on her, until she Responds, Hoping that she'd appreciate my consistent efforts & reconsider the Relationship with me? Or would you advise any other approach, which is better, according to you?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You really need to STOP putting yourself through this.
The reason for your restless state is the dependency that you have been having on her, chats with her, the emotional base with her knowing well enough that there has been no prior agreement on commitment in this relationship. But that's the way the heart is, no?
So, there has been freedom with both of you to go away when you please, to see other people etc...

You have possibly been more into this connection that she has been into it and this has led to expectations from your end.
Go silent and maybe this will give her an idea of missing you if she truly has feelings for you. When you do this, you give yourself some breathing space as well on things that need your focus and also will also reveal if she really wants you as a part of her life. This space is difficult but really important.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 25, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 18, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
My age is 30 gf is also of same age ..we have caste issue and she is being hindu..but we love each other deeply ..we are in strong seriously relationship since 5 years ..but suddenly now she has cheated with me with a guy of same caste and too rich..now i am devasted ..i have done everything for her she asked for and i have given my blood sweat and tears to work it this relation into marrige...since i found out my gf had cheated on me i am not in myself..my left chest always has mild to severe pain when i think about her .it is just sudden change of emotions..when i am doing my work i forgets about her but not able to focus and it is reflecting on my performance...please confirm what should i do now .she has said sorry multiple times ..but i cannot trust her the same way and not able to love her same way as it is use to be...though my feelinga for her never gonna die but this feeling only killing me please confirm what should do please
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Heartbreaks can show up in the body as aches and pains; but do visit the doctor to rule out any issue causing the pain in your chest.
I would suggest 'taking a break' from your relationship to process what has gone on...being cheated upon is not easy to digest and you need the time to understand what has happened.
Yes, loss of trust can be very difficult to repair but whether you want to forgive her or not, trust her again or not are things to be dealt with as you go into this 'break mode' as it will allow the anger to heighten, simmer and then dull down while the importance of this person in your life will arise where you can then ask yourself if you wish to continue this relationship or you actually can do away with it.
I do feel that you will benefit from working with a professional on this as your mind state can interfere in the process of reflection and healing. So, do consider that as well...
I will not say that Time Heals, but Time gives you an opportunity to reflect and learn...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1327 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 25, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 21, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
I (30M) am looking for suitable match through Arranged Marriage Platforms. Recently, I had connected with a Lady (25F) who seemed to tick all the Boxes, which I preferred in a Life Partner & she seemed to like me too, we both were getting along quite well through chatting & phone calls. When we met, in person for the first time, I POLITELY asked her what's her BODY COUNT (while mentioning that my Body Count is Zero, as I am VIRGIN). Immediately, she lost her Temper, started abusing me & splashed her Drink all over my Face & Clothes, she was physically assaulting me, when the waiters intervened & calmed her down. I was feeling Humiliated in Public. She threatened that she would Report me to the Police for 'SEXUAL HARASSMENT'. Realising that she could ruin my Life, I apologised to her earnestly & made Peace. Needless to say, she ended all contact with me. But, this incident has left me emotionally bruised. Did I do anything Wrong by asking my prospective Life Partner about her Sexual History? Don't I have the Right to know about this aspect of the Woman, I'd be Marrying? Was she right in taking offence at my Question? Can her Reaction be Justified? Does my Question warrant a Criminal Case against me (something as Heinous as 'Sexual Harassment')? How do I handle such situations in the Future? Should I avoid asking, any other prospects, in the future m, such sensitive personal Questions? What do I do, in case, any other Lady, behaves aggressively with me? Would it be better, if I Record our entire conversation, secretly, using a Bodycam, as a Pro-Active measure, to prove my Innocence & defend myself against Criminal Proceedings? Would it be Legal, to Record our Conversation, without her Knowledge or Consent? Or shall I seek her Consent & Proceed cautiously? Please Advise me, how to handle such sensitive situations, in the Future.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Things have definitely changed in the dating and marriage scene from what it was even 20 or 10 years back...
But hey, I still have my reservations on whether women are comfortable answering very intimate questions...do you not think that a question on body count can be reserved to a future meeting maybe when the two of you show interest in each other and when transparency is vital to further the connection?
Right on Day 1, what is the necessity to jump about and get curious about it? Maybe if someone asked you, you would be okay with it but not everyone or every woman is going to be comfortable with it.
When you pay attention to what the other person wants and likes, there are minimal chances of you slipping up and irking them; where is the question then to take care of legal stuff, recording etc...
Genuinely be there with the other person in a conversation and when the rapport is built, the conversation flows effortlessly and you will start to enjoy it. Start to get curious about who they are as people rather than how many people they have slept with...This should help you!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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