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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6240 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 27, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jul 21, 2024Hindi
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I am 34 years old with a monthly salary of 1 lack, my wife earns 1 lac P.m. Have 5l in mutual funds, 1.2l in stocks, 5l emergency fund, 20l medical insurance, 1cr term insurance, 1 flat - 50l for which 13k is emi, 20k car emi for 4 years, investing 20k in mutual funds every month. No kids as of now. Please suggest how can I retire in 50

Ans: Current Financial Position

You have a solid financial base. Monthly combined income is Rs 2 lakh. Investments include mutual funds, stocks, and emergency funds. You also have substantial insurance coverage and property investments.

Assessing Your Goals

To retire at 50, you need to build a corpus that can sustain your lifestyle. Let's explore how you can achieve this.

Current Investments and Savings

Mutual Funds: Rs 5 lakh

Stocks: Rs 1.2 lakh

Emergency Fund: Rs 5 lakh

Insurance: Rs 20 lakh medical insurance, Rs 1 crore term insurance

Property: 1 flat worth Rs 50 lakh

EMIs: Rs 13,000 for flat, Rs 20,000 for car (4 years remaining)

Monthly Investment: Rs 20,000 in mutual funds

Recommended Financial Strategy

1. Increasing Investments

You are investing Rs 20,000 monthly in mutual funds. Increase this gradually.

Aim to invest at least 30% of your combined income, which is Rs 60,000 monthly.

2. Prioritise High-Growth Investments

Equity Mutual Funds: Focus on diversified equity mutual funds for higher returns.

Stocks: Continue investing in fundamentally strong stocks.

3. Debt Management

Car Loan: EMI of Rs 20,000 for 4 more years. After completion, redirect this amount to investments.

Home Loan: EMI of Rs 13,000 is manageable. Consider making partial prepayments to reduce tenure and interest.

4. Building a Retirement Corpus

Retirement Corpus Calculation: Estimate monthly expenses post-retirement. Assume Rs 50,000 monthly (adjusted for inflation).

Corpus Required: To sustain Rs 50,000 monthly for 30 years post-retirement, aim for at least Rs 3-4 crore corpus.

5. Systematic Retirement Planning

Step-Up SIPs: Increase your SIPs annually. Aim for a 10-15% increase each year.

PPF and EPF: Consider investing in PPF for stable returns and tax benefits.

NPS: National Pension System can provide additional retirement benefits with tax efficiency.

6. Emergency and Contingency Planning

Emergency Fund: Maintain at least 6-12 months of expenses as an emergency fund. You already have Rs 5 lakh. Keep adding periodically.

Insurance: Continue with your term and medical insurance. Review and adjust coverage if needed.

7. Regular Portfolio Review

Annual Review: Assess your portfolio yearly. Make adjustments based on market conditions and personal goals.

Diversification: Ensure your investments are diversified across sectors and asset classes.

Final Insights

Retiring at 50 is achievable with disciplined investing and strategic planning. Focus on increasing your investment amounts, prioritising high-growth assets, and managing your debts efficiently. Regularly review and adjust your financial plan to stay on track towards your retirement goal.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6240 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 28, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 28, 2024Hindi
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Money
I am 44 years old, with 60L in ppf, 24L in epf, 15L in FDs, 10L in post office, 20L in SGBs, 20L in Sukanya, 20L family floater health insurance. No housing/car loan, etc. I have 2 children aged 16&11. My sal is 1.25L pm. I want to retire at 50, kindly advice
Ans: Planning for Early Retirement at 50
Your commitment to securing a comfortable retirement at 50 is commendable. With careful planning and strategic investments, this goal can be achieved. Let's review your current financial situation and create a roadmap for a secure retirement.

Current Financial Overview
You have accumulated significant assets across various investment instruments:

PPF: Rs 60 lakhs
EPF: Rs 24 lakhs
FDs: Rs 15 lakhs
Post Office: Rs 10 lakhs
SGBs: Rs 20 lakhs
Sukanya Samriddhi: Rs 20 lakhs
Health Insurance: Rs 20 lakh family floater
Your monthly salary is Rs 1.25 lakhs, and you have no outstanding loans.

Financial Goals and Needs
Retirement Age: 50
You plan to retire at 50, which gives you six more years to build your retirement corpus.

Children's Education and Marriage
Your children are 16 and 11. Plan for higher education and marriage expenses, considering inflation.

Monthly Expenses Post-Retirement
Estimate your monthly expenses post-retirement, accounting for inflation and lifestyle changes.

Investment Strategies
Maximize Current Investments
Continue contributing to PPF, EPF, and Sukanya Samriddhi accounts. These are safe investments with decent returns.

Diversify and Grow
To achieve your retirement goal, consider diversifying your investments into mutual funds, especially actively managed funds.

Benefits of Actively Managed Funds
Professional Management
Actively managed funds have professional fund managers who make informed decisions to outperform the market.

Flexibility
These funds adapt to market changes and adjust investments to maximize returns and minimize risks.

Potential for Higher Returns
Actively managed funds can offer better returns compared to passive index funds, helping you grow your corpus faster.

Regular vs. Direct Mutual Funds
Disadvantages of Direct Funds
Direct funds might have lower expenses but lack the personalized advice and professional management that regular funds offer.

Benefits of Regular Funds
Investing through a Certified Financial Planner ensures you get expert guidance, portfolio reviews, and adjustments as needed.

Recommended Allocation
Equity Exposure
Increase your equity exposure for higher growth potential. Allocate a significant portion to large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap funds.

Debt Investments
Maintain a balanced portfolio with debt investments like FDs, SGBs, and post office schemes for stability.

Systematic Investment Plan (SIP)
Start a SIP in mutual funds to benefit from rupee cost averaging and compound growth.

Retirement Corpus Calculation
Estimate the retirement corpus needed considering your desired lifestyle, inflation, and life expectancy. A CFP can help you with precise calculations and planning.

Emergency Fund
Maintain an emergency fund equivalent to six months of expenses. This ensures liquidity for unexpected expenses.

Insurance Coverage
Review your health insurance coverage to ensure it meets future medical needs. Consider increasing the coverage if necessary.

Estate Planning
Ensure proper estate planning. Create a will and consider setting up a trust for smooth asset transfer and management.

Conclusion
With strategic planning and disciplined investments, you can achieve your goal of retiring at 50. Regularly review and adjust your portfolio with the help of a Certified Financial Planner to stay on track.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6240 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 19, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 19, 2024Hindi
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Money
My age is 33. In hand salary 65k. With loan of 8lakh and single. I have Mutual fund of 1.5 lakh . i want to retire at age of 50
Ans: It's great to see you planning for your future. At 33, you have ample time to build a solid retirement corpus by 50. Let's delve into a comprehensive strategy for you.

Understanding Your Current Financial Situation
Income and Loans

In-hand salary: Rs. 65,000 per month.
Existing loan: Rs. 8 Lakhs.
Mutual fund investment: Rs. 1.5 Lakhs.
Your income is steady, but the loan needs attention. Let's plan effectively to balance debt repayment and investment growth.

Building a Strong Financial Foundation
1. Managing Your Loan

Start by focusing on repaying your Rs. 8 Lakhs loan. Allocate a portion of your income to accelerate loan repayment. This will reduce interest burden and free up funds for investments.

Emergency Fund Creation
2. Establish an Emergency Fund

Maintain an emergency fund equivalent to 6-9 months of your monthly expenses. This fund should be easily accessible, kept in a savings account or liquid mutual fund.

Strategic Investment Planning
3. Increase Mutual Fund Investments

Mutual funds are a great tool for wealth creation. Considering your goal to retire by 50, you'll need to invest more aggressively in equity mutual funds for higher returns.

Monthly Investment Allocation
4. Diversify Your Investments

Allocate your monthly investments wisely. Here's a suggested plan:

Equity Mutual Funds: Rs. 30,000
Debt Mutual Funds: Rs. 10,000
Balanced/Hybrid Funds: Rs. 5,000
This allocation balances growth potential and risk management.

Reviewing Existing Mutual Funds
5. Assess and Realign Your Portfolio

Review your existing mutual fund portfolio. Ensure it includes a mix of large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap funds. If necessary, consult with a Certified Financial Planner to realign your portfolio.

Setting Up Systematic Investment Plans (SIPs)
6. Consistent SIPs for Growth

Set up SIPs in the chosen mutual funds. SIPs help in averaging out market volatility and instilling financial discipline. Increase SIP amounts annually by 10-15% to match inflation and income growth.

Debt Management and Savings Balance
7. Prioritize High-Interest Debt Repayment

Focus on repaying high-interest debt first. Once the Rs. 8 Lakhs loan is cleared, reallocate that amount towards your investments.

Exploring Additional Investment Avenues
8. Alternative Investments for Diversification

While equity and debt funds are primary, consider a small allocation in gold funds or international mutual funds for added diversification.

Insurance and Risk Management
9. Adequate Insurance Coverage

Ensure you have sufficient health insurance and life insurance coverage. This protects your investments from being eroded by unforeseen medical expenses or financial hardships.

Tax Planning and Efficiency
10. Tax-Efficient Investments

Utilize tax-saving instruments like ELSS funds under Section 80C to reduce your tax liability. Plan withdrawals and redemptions strategically to minimize taxes.

Regular Monitoring and Adjustments
11. Annual Portfolio Review

Review your portfolio annually with a Certified Financial Planner. Rebalance as needed to maintain your desired asset allocation and risk tolerance.

Financial Discipline and Patience
12. Focus on Long-Term Goals

Stick to your long-term investment strategy despite market volatility. Regular investments and compounding will work in your favor over time.

Professional Guidance and Support
13. Engage with a Certified Financial Planner

Work with a CFP to tailor your investment strategy to your specific needs and goals. They can provide personalized advice and regular reviews.

Building a Retirement Corpus
14. Estimating Retirement Needs

Calculate your retirement corpus based on your expected monthly expenses post-retirement. Factor in inflation to arrive at a realistic figure.

Lifestyle and Budgeting
15. Budgeting for Lifestyle Needs

Plan your current and future lifestyle needs. This helps in setting realistic financial goals and ensures your corpus lasts throughout retirement.

Final Insights
By systematically increasing your investments, managing debt efficiently, and leveraging professional advice, you can achieve your retirement goal by 50. Discipline, patience, and regular reviews are key to staying on track.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6240 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 07, 2024Hindi
Money
I am 43 year old with 1.5cr in Fd, home loan of 1.8 cr , 1 property which is loan free, 2 houses on which loan of 1.8 cr is pending .I have life insurance of 1 crore and family health insurance of 1 cr.The properties are worth 7 cr at current market rate .I have mutual funds of 22 lakhs and ppf of 30 lakhs .I have 2 kids who are 9 years old.My current monthly expenditure is 1.5 lakhs and home loan emi of 1 5 lakhs and monthly salary is 3.5 lakhs .I want to retire by 50 .What should i do ?
Ans: Your financial planning is quite impressive, especially given your responsibilities and future goals. Let's break down your situation and create a solid strategy to achieve your retirement goal by age 50.

Understanding Your Current Financial Situation
You are 43 years old and aim to retire by 50. Here's a snapshot of your current finances:

Fixed Deposits (FDs): Rs 1.5 crore
Home Loan: Rs 1.8 crore
Loan-Free Property: One
Loan-Pending Properties: Two, with Rs 1.8 crore pending
Property Value: Rs 7 crore (current market rate)
Life Insurance: Rs 1 crore
Family Health Insurance: Rs 1 crore
Mutual Funds: Rs 22 lakh
Public Provident Fund (PPF): Rs 30 lakh
Monthly Expenditure: Rs 1.5 lakh
Home Loan EMI: Rs 1.5 lakh
Monthly Salary: Rs 3.5 lakh
Two Kids (9 years old)
Prioritizing Financial Goals
Retirement Planning
Early Loan Repayment
Children's Education and Future
Let's dive deeper into each goal.

Retirement Planning
Retiring by age 50 means you have only seven years to build a substantial corpus. Here's how you can achieve this:

Evaluate Your Investments
You have significant savings in FDs, mutual funds, and PPF. These are good, but diversifying further can enhance returns. Mutual funds can provide higher returns compared to FDs and PPF, especially over the long term.

Power of Compounding
The power of compounding can significantly grow your investments. By investing regularly in mutual funds, you can benefit from rupee cost averaging and mitigate market volatility.

Diversify Your Mutual Funds
Consider allocating your investments across different categories of mutual funds for better returns:

Large-Cap Funds: Invest in well-established companies for stability.
Mid-Cap Funds: Invest in medium-sized companies with higher growth potential.
Small-Cap Funds: Invest in smaller companies for high returns, though with higher risk.
Balanced or Hybrid Funds: These provide a mix of equity and debt, balancing risk and return.
Increase Your SIP Contributions
Given your current salary, you can allocate more towards SIPs. Increasing your monthly SIPs in mutual funds will help you build a substantial retirement corpus.

Early Loan Repayment
Reducing your debt burden before retirement is crucial. Here's how you can tackle your home loan effectively:

Lump-Sum Payments
Whenever you have surplus funds, consider making lump-sum payments towards your home loan. This will reduce your principal amount and overall interest burden.

Prepaying with FD Maturities
As your FDs mature, use a portion to prepay your home loan. This strategy can significantly reduce your EMI burden and loan tenure.

Children's Education and Future
Planning for your children's education and future expenses is equally important. Here’s a strategy:

Separate Education Fund
Create a dedicated education fund for your kids. Investing in equity mutual funds can be beneficial due to their long-term growth potential.

Systematic Investment Plan (SIP)
Set up SIPs in mutual funds specifically for your children's education. This will ensure you have a substantial corpus when needed.

Evaluating Current Investments
Fixed Deposits (FDs)
FDs provide safety but relatively lower returns. Consider gradually shifting some funds from FDs to higher-yielding investments like mutual funds.

Mutual Funds
Your current mutual fund investment of Rs 22 lakh is a good start. Increase your SIPs to enhance this corpus. Diversify across different categories for balanced growth.

Public Provident Fund (PPF)
PPF is a safe investment with tax benefits. Continue investing in PPF for assured returns and stability in your portfolio.

Insurance Coverage
Life Insurance
Your current life insurance cover of Rs 1 crore is good. Ensure it is sufficient to cover any outstanding liabilities and your family's needs in case of any eventuality.

Health Insurance
Your family health insurance cover of Rs 1 crore is adequate. Review it annually to ensure it meets rising healthcare costs.

Strategic Investment Allocation
Here’s a suggested allocation for your additional investments:

Increase SIPs in Mutual Funds: Allocate a significant portion of your savings towards diversified equity mutual funds.
Prepay Home Loan: Use FD maturities and any surplus funds for lump-sum payments towards your home loan.
Dedicated Education Fund: Set up separate SIPs for your children's education.
Final Insights
Balancing long-term goals like retirement, medium-term goals like loan repayment, and short-term goals like children's education is key. By diversifying your investments, making strategic loan prepayments, and saving diligently, you can achieve financial stability and enjoy a comfortable retirement by age 50.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6240 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 10, 2024Hindi
Money
I am 34, i have monthly salary of rs 150000/- Till now i have a house of 3000000, pf of 400000 mutual fund 400000 stock of rs 500000 Nps of Rs 2500000, i want to retire in 50, kindly tell me the correct plan to ease my retirement.
Ans: Retiring at 50 is a wonderful goal, and you’re well on your way. You've built a solid foundation with your house, PF, mutual funds, stocks, and NPS. Let’s look at how you can enhance your plan to ensure a smooth and comfortable retirement.

Assessing Your Current Financial Position
House: You own a house worth Rs. 30 lakhs. This is a great asset for your stability.

Provident Fund (PF): You have Rs. 4 lakhs in your PF. This is a secure way to accumulate wealth for retirement.

Mutual Funds: With Rs. 4 lakhs in mutual funds, you have already started a good investment strategy.

Stocks: Your stock investment of Rs. 5 lakhs adds another layer of growth potential.

National Pension System (NPS): Your NPS is at Rs. 25 lakhs, which is an excellent foundation for your retirement.

With a monthly salary of Rs. 1.5 lakhs, you have the opportunity to build on this foundation.

Setting Clear Retirement Goals
To retire at 50, you need to define your goals. How much monthly income do you need? Let’s assume you need Rs. 50,000 per month for a comfortable retirement. This translates to Rs. 6 lakhs annually.

Enhancing Your Investment Strategy
Mutual Funds

Mutual funds are a great way to grow your wealth. They offer diversification and professional management. Consider increasing your monthly SIPs (Systematic Investment Plans) to build a larger corpus. Regular funds, managed by a Certified Financial Planner, can provide better guidance and personalized investment strategies. Actively managed funds often outperform index funds, providing higher returns.

Stocks

Stocks have high growth potential but come with risks. Diversify your stock investments across sectors to minimize risks. Review your portfolio regularly with the help of a Certified Financial Planner.

National Pension System (NPS)

The NPS is a valuable component of your retirement plan. It offers tax benefits and a steady income post-retirement. Consider increasing your contributions to the NPS for a larger corpus.

Building a Balanced Portfolio
A balanced portfolio includes a mix of equity, debt, and other assets. This reduces risk and ensures stable returns.

Equity Investments

Equity investments include stocks and equity mutual funds. These offer high returns but are volatile. Regular SIPs in mutual funds and a diversified stock portfolio can help manage this risk.

Debt Investments

Debt investments are stable and less risky. They include PF, fixed deposits, and debt mutual funds. Ensure a portion of your portfolio is in debt to provide stability.

NPS and PF Contributions

Continue and increase your contributions to NPS and PF. They provide secure and tax-efficient growth.

Risk Management
Insurance

Adequate insurance is crucial. Ensure you have life, health, and critical illness insurance. This protects you and your family from unforeseen events.

Emergency Fund

Maintain an emergency fund equivalent to 6-12 months of expenses. This provides financial security in case of unexpected events.

Tax Planning
Effective tax planning can save you money and increase your retirement corpus.

Tax-Exempt Investments

Invest in tax-exempt instruments like PPF, NPS, and ELSS mutual funds. They provide tax benefits and grow your wealth.

Tax-Efficient Withdrawals

Plan your withdrawals post-retirement to minimize tax liabilities. A Certified Financial Planner can help you strategize tax-efficient withdrawals.

Regular Monitoring and Review
Regularly review and adjust your investment strategy. Monitor your portfolio performance and make necessary adjustments.

Certified Financial Planner

Engage with a Certified Financial Planner. They provide professional advice, help manage your investments, and ensure you stay on track to meet your goals.

Preparing for Retirement
Estimate Retirement Expenses

List all possible retirement expenses. Consider inflation and unexpected costs. This helps you plan accurately.

Create a Retirement Budget

Based on your estimated expenses, create a retirement budget. Stick to this budget to manage your funds efficiently.

Income Generation Post-Retirement
NPS Annuity

NPS provides a steady income post-retirement. Opt for a suitable annuity plan that matches your needs.

Systematic Withdrawal Plans (SWP)

Use SWP from mutual funds for regular income. It provides flexibility and tax efficiency.

Estate Planning
Will and Nomination

Prepare a will to distribute your assets as per your wishes. Ensure all investments have a nominee.

Power of Attorney

Assign a trusted person as your power of attorney. They can manage your finances if you are unable to do so.

Final Insights
Retiring at 50 is achievable with disciplined planning and strategic investments. Your current financial position is strong, and with a few adjustments, you can enhance your retirement plan.

Focus on increasing your investments in mutual funds, stocks, and NPS. Maintain a balanced portfolio with a mix of equity and debt. Regularly review your investments and adjust as needed.

Engage with a Certified Financial Planner for personalized advice. They can help you navigate complex financial decisions and keep you on track.

Plan for taxes and ensure you have adequate insurance and an emergency fund. Prepare for retirement by estimating expenses, creating a budget, and planning for income generation.

Finally, ensure proper estate planning with a will and power of attorney.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6240 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 18, 2024Hindi
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Money
Hi sir, I am 35years old.i have 5year old son.my salary and my wife it's 120000, Total medical insurance is 20lack. Pf 9000 per month mutual fund 11000 per month and I have a flat of 65lack.i want to retire at 50.
Ans: Current Financial Situation
Income: Combined salary of Rs 1,20,000 per month.

Medical Insurance: Coverage of Rs 20 lakhs for your family.

Provident Fund: Rs 9,000 per month.

Mutual Fund Investment: Rs 11,000 per month.

Property: Own a flat valued at Rs 65 lakhs.

Son's Age: 5 years old.

Retirement Planning
Goal: Retire at age 50. This gives you 15 years to build a retirement corpus.

Corpus Needed: You need a substantial corpus to sustain post-retirement. This includes living expenses, medical needs, and inflation.

Investments Assessment
Provident Fund: Stable and secure. Continue contributing.

Mutual Funds: Good choice for long-term wealth creation. Ensure you have a diversified portfolio.

Property: Avoid considering it as a liquid asset for retirement. Focus on financial instruments instead.

Increasing Investments
Enhance SIPs: Increase SIP contributions gradually. Aim for a higher monthly investment.

Equity Exposure: Ensure a good mix of equity mutual funds. Equity offers higher returns over the long term.

Debt Funds: Balance your portfolio with some debt funds for stability.

Insurance Review
Medical Insurance: Rs 20 lakhs is decent coverage. Review it periodically to ensure it meets future needs.

Life Insurance: Ensure adequate life cover. Consider term plans for sufficient coverage.

Education Fund for Son
Higher Education: Start a dedicated fund for your son's higher education. Education costs will rise significantly.

Investment Options: Use a mix of child plans and mutual funds to build this corpus.

Reducing Debt
Home Loan: If you have a home loan on your flat, plan to repay it before retirement.

Debt-Free Retirement: Aim to enter retirement without any liabilities.

Professional Guidance
Certified Financial Planner: Consult a Certified Financial Planner for a detailed plan. They can help you balance risk and return.

Regular Reviews: Periodically review your financial plan. Make adjustments based on life changes and market conditions.

Final Insights
Consistent Savings: Regular and disciplined savings are key to achieving your goals.

Balanced Portfolio: Maintain a balanced portfolio to manage risks.

Focus on Long-Term: Keep a long-term perspective for investments. Avoid short-term market fluctuations.

Emergency Fund: Ensure you have an emergency fund. It should cover at least 6 months of expenses.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

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Anu Krishna  |1152 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 08, 2024

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Anu Krishna  |1152 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 05, 2024Hindi
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I wanted to get clarity on my situation. I am 24yr old and i am working person. I am loving a girl in my office since two years and she also accepted. We are from intercaste and her parents accepted. But my parents are not in a way to get convinced no matter what. They want the caste to be same also and they are completely saying that what society will tell if you are doing like this and we cant live if you do like this. But i loved the girl the most and took care of her and being with her each and every second. I dono what to do. The only idea i m having is to go away from home , do my job and be with her. Now my parents are not allowing me to go to job also instead they asked me to take wfh. Please give me some suggestions on this. Please mam. Whenever i think of her that i left her and came i m getting so much chest pain which i cant bear. please help me with this. Constraints they are saying is its intercaste and age difference as she is 3yrs elder to me. But we feel that we are more compatible and more understanding. Girls side family agreed for this as they want their daughters happiness, but from myside they are doing emotional blackmail that they cant live if i do this and all. I am in hopeless situation, please help me with some suggestions.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
At the risk of sounding judgemental, I am going to say this...you can wait a few more years to actually get married. It will offer you financial stability which can act in your favor when you actually take the news to your parents. With financial stability, comes a certain level of confidence that you can use to stand your ground and make a decision. After all, you are an adult.
Caste beliefs are very strongly etched into minds in our society and take an entire generation change to accept a person from another caste/faith/religion...
So, you can either succumb to what your parents want OR wait patiently to tell them what your decision is. But whatever it is, make sure you don't make the girl wait and them 'dump' her after a few years...that is not OKAY! Stay firm and proceed. And as for the emotional blackmail from your parents on how they will live if you do this etc, it's a very unhealthy way of holding on to what they believe and want to to be pressured by all that drama. To counter this drama, you are falling back on your financial position and the confidence that comes with it.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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