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Is 27000 Salary Enough to Handle 500000 EMI, Bills, and Family?

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7828 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 04, 2025

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jan 29, 2025Hindi
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I am 34 now getting salary of 27000 , took place on 500000 emi, emi is 11300 ( 2.3 years pending), overall credit card bill is 20000, sip monthly 3500, yearly 3500 lic, monthly autal pension 350, room rent 6000, grocery richarge, traveling expenses 6000. I am married and have baby with 3.5 years this year he will go school. Could you please suggest how to run life smoothly. With future savings. And I have term insurance with 45lk, family insurance including parents

Ans: Your monthly take-home salary is Rs. 27,000, with significant fixed expenses like EMI and household needs. Here's a breakdown:

EMI: Rs. 11,300
Room rent, groceries, recharge, and travel: Rs. 6,000
SIPs: Rs. 3,500
LIC premium: Rs. 3,500 annually (around Rs. 292 monthly)
Atal Pension Yojana: Rs. 350
Credit card bill: Rs. 20,000 outstanding
Your child will soon start schooling, which may increase monthly expenses. This requires a clear strategy to manage debts, expenses, and savings efficiently.

Immediate Financial Priorities
1. Debt Repayment
Prioritise clearing your credit card bill first, as it likely carries a high-interest rate.
Avoid using the credit card until the existing dues are fully cleared.
Allocate any bonuses or additional income towards reducing this debt.
2. Managing EMI Efficiently
Your EMI constitutes 42% of your income, which is high. Aim to prepay part of the home loan to reduce tenure and interest.
Once the credit card debt is cleared, redirect the same amount towards EMI prepayment when possible.
3. Controlling Expenses
Review discretionary expenses like entertainment, dining out, or unnecessary subscriptions.
Use cashback apps and discount offers for grocery and utility payments.
Optimising Investments
1. Review Your LIC Policy
LIC policies often offer low returns. Check if your policy has completed its lock-in period.
If possible, surrender the policy and reinvest in mutual funds through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) for better returns.
2. Increase SIP Gradually
Your current SIP of Rs. 3,500 is good but can be increased once debts are cleared.
Focus on actively managed funds for wealth creation over long-term horizons.
3. Emergency Fund Creation
Maintain 6-9 months of expenses as an emergency fund.
Keep this amount in a liquid mutual fund or high-interest savings account.
4. Retirement Planning
Continue contributions to the Atal Pension Yojana.
Once debts are cleared, increase retirement-focused investments.
5. Child’s Education Planning
Start a dedicated SIP for your child's education expenses.
Opt for actively managed funds through a trusted advisor.
Insurance Coverage
Term Insurance: Rs. 45 lakh coverage is good. Ensure the nominee details are up-to-date.
Health Insurance: You mentioned family coverage, including parents. Ensure it provides adequate coverage for medical expenses.
Monthly Budget Recommendation
EMI: Rs. 11,300
Household expenses: Rs. 6,000
SIPs: Rs. 3,500 (increase after clearing debts)
Child’s school fees: Allocate Rs. 2,000 initially (may adjust based on actual fees)
Emergency fund savings: Rs. 1,000
Atal Pension Yojana: Rs. 350
This leaves around Rs. 2,850 for miscellaneous expenses and debt repayment.

Final Insights
Clearing high-interest debts like credit card dues should be your top priority.
Maintain discipline in spending and gradually increase investments for long-term goals.
Consult a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) to regularly review your portfolio and ensure better investment returns.
Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7828 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 12, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 02, 2024Hindi
Money
I am 46 years, my wife and me both arw working with 400000 every month in hand. I have 4 houses , 3 under loan. The loan iutstanding is 2,10,00000 and I pay around 212000 as Emis , I have 2 girk children, 1 is 15 years and the other is 10 yeara old. Looking at the curreny market trend I dont think we will survive next 5 years. The property market vakuation would be around 38500000. How do I manage my finances to have a rwapectful retirement. Please nite we dont have any pf or savings but have around 2300000 in sukanya sanridhi.
Ans: First, let's take a moment to appreciate your proactive approach in managing your finances. Both you and your wife have a substantial monthly income of Rs 4,00,000. This is commendable and provides a solid foundation for financial planning.

You have four houses, three of which have loans. The outstanding loan amount is Rs 2,10,00,000, with EMIs totaling Rs 2,12,000. Your property portfolio is valued at Rs 3,85,00,000. Additionally, you have Rs 23,00,000 in Sukanya Samriddhi Yojana (SSY) for your daughters.

Now, let’s break down the steps to ensure a secure financial future for your family and a comfortable retirement.

Managing Debt Effectively
The EMI burden of Rs 2,12,000 is significant, considering it consumes over half of your monthly income. Here’s a strategy to manage this effectively:

1. Prioritize Loan Repayment:

Focus on paying off high-interest loans first. This will reduce your interest burden and free up more funds for savings and investments.

2. Refinance or Consolidate Loans:

If possible, refinance your loans to get a lower interest rate. Consolidating loans can also simplify payments and potentially reduce your interest rate.

Enhancing Savings and Investments
Given that you don't have any provident fund or substantial savings apart from SSY, it’s crucial to start building your savings and investment portfolio.

1. Emergency Fund:

Establish an emergency fund with at least six months of living expenses. This fund should be easily accessible and kept in a savings account or a liquid fund.

2. Systematic Investment Plan (SIP):

Start SIPs in mutual funds to build a diversified investment portfolio. This will help in wealth accumulation over time. Actively managed funds, chosen with the help of a Certified Financial Planner (CFP), can potentially offer better returns than index funds.

3. Sukanya Samriddhi Yojana (SSY):

Continue investing in SSY for your daughters. This is a great tool for their future education and marriage expenses due to its high-interest rates and tax benefits.

Planning for Children's Education
With daughters aged 15 and 10, education expenses will soon be a major financial responsibility. Here’s how to plan for it:

1. Education Savings Plan:

Estimate the future cost of their education and start dedicated SIPs to meet these expenses. An actively managed equity fund can offer higher returns to meet these long-term goals.

2. Education Loan:

Consider education loans to fund higher education. This will distribute the financial burden and provide tax benefits under Section 80E.

Retirement Planning
To ensure a comfortable retirement, you need to start saving and investing aggressively.

1. Retirement Corpus:

Estimate your post-retirement expenses and the corpus required to sustain them. Start SIPs in diversified equity mutual funds to build this corpus. Equity exposure is crucial for long-term growth.

2. Regular Investments:

Invest a portion of your monthly income in mutual funds through a CFP. This professional guidance ensures optimal fund selection and rebalancing to achieve your retirement goals.

Insurance Coverage
Insurance is a critical component of financial planning. Ensure you have adequate coverage:

1. Term Insurance:

If not already covered, purchase a term insurance policy. This will provide financial security to your family in case of any unfortunate event.

2. Health Insurance:

Ensure you have comprehensive health insurance coverage for the entire family. Medical expenses can be a significant drain on savings, and adequate insurance mitigates this risk.

Building an Investment Portfolio
Given the current market trends, it’s essential to diversify your investments. Here’s a plan:

1. Diversified Mutual Funds:

Invest in a mix of large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap funds. Actively managed funds, recommended by a CFP, can provide superior returns compared to index funds.

2. Debt Funds:

Include debt funds for stability and regular income. These funds are less volatile and provide a steady return.

3. Gold:

Allocate a small portion to gold. It’s a good hedge against inflation and market volatility.

Reducing Risk and Maximizing Returns
Balancing risk and returns is crucial in financial planning. Here’s how to achieve it:

1. Asset Allocation:

Maintain a balanced asset allocation based on your risk tolerance. A mix of equity, debt, and gold ensures stability and growth.

2. Regular Monitoring:

Review your investment portfolio regularly with a CFP. This ensures your investments are aligned with your goals and market conditions.

Tax Planning
Efficient tax planning can enhance your savings and investments. Here’s how:

1. Tax-saving Investments:

Utilize Section 80C by investing in instruments like ELSS funds, PPF, and SSY. These investments offer tax benefits and help in wealth accumulation.

2. Home Loan Benefits:

Claim tax deductions on home loan interest under Section 24 and principal repayment under Section 80C. This reduces your tax liability.

Final Insights
Your current financial situation is challenging but manageable with the right strategies. Focus on reducing debt, enhancing savings, and investing wisely. Seek professional guidance from a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) to navigate complex financial decisions and achieve your goals.

Your proactive approach and commitment to financial planning are commendable. With disciplined saving, prudent investing, and strategic planning, you can secure a comfortable retirement and ensure a bright future for your daughters.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7828 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 15, 2024

Money
Hi, I am 29 year old and my husband is 35 year old. We have 1.5 year old kid. We both are working and earn around 2.3 lakh per month. We have a house loan and personal loan emi deducting 90,000 per month Maid & nannu expenses around 30k per month. House expenses including maintenance around 30k per month. Parents we send -20,000 per month I invest in ppf 50,000 per year Nps - 50,000 per year My husband lic - 40,000 per year SSY for daughter - 50,000 per year Gold scheme in jewellery - 1000 per month. We have hand loans around - 4.5 lakh We don't eat outside or travel that much and don't spend money on unwanted things. We stay in metro politan city. Even though we spend carefully, by the end of month we won't have a penny in account. We want to manage our finances in better way so that we can clear our home loan and personal loans faster and also save for our kid's future and our retirement.
Ans: It's commendable that you're working diligently to manage your finances. Living in a metropolitan city can be expensive, and managing a family adds to the financial pressure. Your income is substantial, but with your expenses and loans, it's crucial to plan effectively to meet your goals. Let’s analyze your current financial situation and explore strategies to improve it.

Income and Expenses Overview
You and your husband earn Rs. 2.3 lakhs per month, which is a significant amount. However, your monthly commitments take up a large portion of this income:

House and personal loan EMIs: Rs. 90,000
Maid and nanny expenses: Rs. 30,000
House expenses including maintenance: Rs. 30,000
Support to parents: Rs. 20,000
This totals Rs. 1.7 lakhs per month, leaving Rs. 60,000 for other expenses and savings. However, you also have various annual investments:

PPF: Rs. 50,000
NPS: Rs. 50,000
Husband’s LIC: Rs. 40,000
SSY for daughter: Rs. 50,000
Gold scheme: Rs. 12,000 per year
Analyzing Your Cash Flow
Your careful spending habits are commendable. However, it's clear that your current expenses and investments leave little room for savings or emergency funds. Let's explore ways to optimize your cash flow.

Loan Repayment Strategy
Clearing your loans faster will significantly improve your financial situation. Here are some strategies:

Prioritize High-Interest Loans
Focus on repaying high-interest loans first, such as personal loans. This will reduce the overall interest burden and free up cash flow sooner.

Consider Loan Consolidation
If possible, consolidate your personal loans into one with a lower interest rate. This can make repayment easier and reduce your monthly outgo.

Optimizing Investments
Your investments in PPF, NPS, and SSY are good for long-term growth. However, let’s examine if there’s a better way to manage these:

Review LIC Policies
LIC policies often have lower returns compared to mutual funds. Consider consulting a Certified Financial Planner to evaluate if it makes sense to surrender the LIC policy and invest the proceeds into mutual funds for better growth.

Maximize Tax Benefits
Ensure you are maximizing tax benefits under sections 80C, 80D, and 80CCD. This will reduce your taxable income and increase your net savings.

Creating an Emergency Fund
Having an emergency fund is crucial. Aim to build a fund equivalent to at least 6 months of your expenses. This can be done gradually by setting aside a small amount each month.

Budgeting and Monitoring
A detailed budget can help you track expenses and identify areas to save. Here’s a simple budgeting approach:

Categorize Expenses
Break down your expenses into categories such as household, child care, loans, and discretionary spending. This will help you see where your money goes and identify areas to cut costs.

Use Budgeting Tools
Consider using budgeting tools or apps that can help you monitor your spending in real-time and stay on track.

Saving for Your Child’s Future
Your investment in SSY is a good start. Here are some additional strategies to secure your child’s future:

Education Fund
Start a dedicated education fund for your child. Consider investing in equity mutual funds for higher long-term returns. This can be done through monthly SIPs.

Child Insurance Plans
While child insurance plans are an option, they often come with high costs and lower returns. Instead, consider a combination of term insurance and mutual fund investments.

Planning for Retirement
Ensuring a comfortable retirement is crucial. Here’s how you can plan better:

Increase Retirement Contributions
If possible, increase contributions to your NPS or other retirement plans. This will help build a larger corpus over time.

Diversify Investments
Ensure your retirement portfolio is well-diversified across different asset classes, such as equities, debt, and real estate (if already owned).

Strategies for Better Financial Management
Automate Savings
Set up automatic transfers to your savings and investment accounts. This ensures you save before spending and helps in consistent investment.

Regularly Review Financial Goals
Review your financial goals and investment portfolio regularly. Adjust your strategy based on changes in income, expenses, or life circumstances.

Seek Professional Advice
Consider consulting a Certified Financial Planner. They can provide personalized advice, help optimize your investments, and ensure you stay on track to meet your goals.

Increasing Income Streams
If feasible, look into ways to increase your income. This could be through side projects, freelance work, or investing in skills that could lead to a higher-paying job.

Reducing Unnecessary Expenses
While you already spend carefully, periodically reviewing your expenses can help identify areas to save even more. Consider:

Re-evaluating Subscriptions
Cancel unused subscriptions and memberships.

Energy Efficiency
Adopt energy-efficient practices to reduce utility bills.

Final Insights
Managing finances effectively requires a balance between earning, spending, and saving. By prioritizing loan repayment, optimizing investments, creating an emergency fund, and planning for your child’s future and retirement, you can achieve financial stability.

Your disciplined approach and commitment to not spending on unnecessary things are commendable. With some adjustments and a clear strategy, you can improve your financial health and achieve your goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7828 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 07, 2024Hindi
Money
My income is 100000 l and My child is 14 years. I am civil engineer working in private company.EMI is 40k Please suggest me what to do for future planning in and My retirement planning, 55year now my age 36 years We required After Retirement 50 Lacks
Ans: Firstly, congratulations on your income. Earning Rs. 1,00,000 per month is a significant achievement, especially in a private sector role as a civil engineer. This solid financial foundation is a great starting point for your future planning and retirement strategy.

You have mentioned your monthly EMI is Rs. 40,000. This means your discretionary income is Rs. 60,000 per month. With thoughtful planning, this amount can be effectively allocated towards securing your child's future and your retirement.

Child's Future Planning
Your child is currently 14 years old. In four years, he will likely be pursuing higher education. This is a critical period to ensure you have enough funds for his education. Education costs are rising, and having a solid plan will ensure you can meet these expenses without compromising other financial goals.

Assessing Education Costs

Higher education can be expensive. The first step is to estimate the total cost of your child’s education. This includes tuition fees, accommodation, books, and other related expenses. Let's assume the total cost to be around Rs. 20 lakhs.

Investment Strategy for Child's Education

To achieve this goal, you can start investing a part of your discretionary income. One of the most effective ways to grow your savings is through mutual funds. Regular mutual funds, when invested through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP), offer professional management and can potentially provide higher returns compared to direct funds.

By investing Rs. 20,000 monthly in a diversified mutual fund, you can accumulate the required amount in the next four years. Mutual funds have the advantage of professional management, diversified risk, and the potential for inflation-beating returns.

Importance of Starting Early

Starting your investment journey early allows your money more time to grow. The power of compounding works best when investments are made early and left to grow over time. This approach can significantly reduce the financial stress when your child is ready for higher education.

Retirement Planning
You are 36 years old and plan to retire at 55. That gives you 19 years to build a retirement corpus of Rs. 50 lakhs. Given your current income and EMI obligations, this goal is achievable with disciplined saving and investing.

Setting Clear Goals

The first step in retirement planning is to set clear goals. You need to estimate your post-retirement expenses. Assuming you need Rs. 50 lakhs at the time of retirement, we can plan backward to determine how much you need to save and invest monthly.

Mutual Funds for Retirement

Investing in mutual funds through a CFP can help you build a significant corpus. Actively managed funds, in particular, can potentially offer better returns due to professional fund management and active stock selection.

By investing Rs. 30,000 per month in a diversified equity mutual fund, you can steadily build your retirement corpus. The equity market, despite its volatility, has historically provided higher returns over the long term, making it suitable for long-term goals like retirement.

Diversification and Regular Review

Diversification is key to managing investment risks. By spreading your investments across different asset classes and sectors, you can minimize risks while maximizing returns. Regularly reviewing and rebalancing your portfolio with the help of a CFP ensures it stays aligned with your goals.

Managing EMI and Savings
With an EMI of Rs. 40,000, managing your savings and investments becomes crucial. Ensuring that you do not over-leverage yourself and maintaining a balance between your EMI obligations and savings is essential.

Budgeting and Financial Discipline

Creating a budget helps in tracking your income and expenses. Prioritize essential expenses and allocate the remaining towards savings and investments. Financial discipline is crucial in achieving your long-term goals.

Emergency Fund

Before diving deep into investments, it is wise to set aside an emergency fund. This fund should ideally cover 6-12 months of your expenses. This ensures that in case of any unexpected events, you have a financial cushion to fall back on without disrupting your investment plans.

Insurance Planning
Insurance is an integral part of financial planning. It protects your family against unforeseen events and ensures financial stability.

Life Insurance

If you have existing LIC or ULIP policies, it might be wise to evaluate their performance. Often, these policies do not provide adequate returns and may have high costs associated with them. Consider surrendering underperforming policies and reinvesting the proceeds into mutual funds through a CFP.

Term Insurance

A term insurance plan is a must-have. It provides a high coverage amount at a low premium, ensuring your family's financial security in your absence. Aim for a coverage amount that is at least 10-15 times your annual income.

Health Insurance

A comprehensive health insurance plan protects against medical emergencies. Ensure you have adequate coverage for yourself and your family. Rising medical costs can quickly deplete savings, making health insurance essential.

Tax Planning
Efficient tax planning helps in saving money which can be redirected towards investments.

Tax-saving Investments

Investments in tax-saving mutual funds (ELSS), PPF, and EPF not only provide tax benefits under Section 80C but also help in wealth creation. Consult with a CFP to choose the right mix of tax-saving instruments.

Utilizing Tax Deductions

Maximize the use of available tax deductions such as those under Section 80D for health insurance premiums and Section 24 for home loan interest. This reduces your taxable income and increases your savings.

Regular Monitoring and Adjustments
Financial planning is not a one-time activity. It requires regular monitoring and adjustments to stay on track.

Periodic Reviews

Regularly review your investment portfolio with a CFP. This helps in identifying any underperforming assets and making necessary adjustments. Periodic reviews ensure your portfolio remains aligned with your financial goals.

Rebalancing Portfolio

As you approach your goals, gradually shift from high-risk investments to more stable ones. This strategy protects your accumulated wealth from market volatility as you near your goal horizon.

Staying Informed

Stay updated with financial news and market trends. This helps in making informed decisions about your investments. However, avoid making impulsive decisions based on short-term market movements.

Benefits of Working with a CFP
A Certified Financial Planner (CFP) brings expertise and professional advice to your financial planning process.

Expert Advice

CFPs provide expert advice tailored to your financial situation and goals. Their knowledge and experience help in creating a comprehensive financial plan.

Holistic Approach

CFPs take a holistic approach to financial planning. They consider all aspects of your financial life, including savings, investments, insurance, and taxes, to create a balanced and effective plan.

Customized Solutions

CFPs offer customized solutions based on your specific needs and risk tolerance. This personalized approach ensures your financial plan is effective and achievable.

Final Insights
Creating a robust financial plan requires careful consideration of various factors. By focusing on your child's future, retirement planning, insurance, and tax strategies, you can build a secure financial future.

Investing through mutual funds with the guidance of a CFP can provide you with professional management and potentially higher returns. Regular reviews and adjustments, along with disciplined saving and investing, are key to achieving your financial goals.

Your journey towards financial security is unique. Embrace it with confidence and commitment. Your efforts today will ensure a prosperous and secure future for you and your family.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Latest Questions
Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |525 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 04, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 27, 2025Hindi
Relationship
Unable to figure out what to do. Shouls i proceed for divorce? And if yes how? Here is my story: This is a long post. But i might have still missed few small instances in between. So I got married on October 3, 2022. Our conversation started through the Jeevansathi app, but the actual conversation began in July 2022 when her father contacted me. The first contact was from their side. At that time, I was returning to Chennai from Ongole by train when I received her father's call. He asked about my job and other details, to which I mentioned that I work for SBI in Tamil Nadu. After that, our conversation started. In the early days, the conversation was really good, and she spoke very well. Later, I visited their house with my mother. During the conversation there, she mentioned that many proposals had come before, but she hadn't been able to decide. One proposal was from a guy with a package of 30 lakh, but she clearly said that money doesn’t matter to her; she wanted a good person. During that meeting, I mentioned that I am a simple person, and my family consists of only my mother and me. I also clarified that due to my job, I could be transferred. After that meeting, we did the formal engagement. Later, we brought sweets from Haldiram, and that was when our engagement was officially recognized. After that, our conversations continued regularly. For a while, everything was fine, but then we started arguing over small things. Once, I told her that I meditate, and she said, "Meditation is something foolish people do, it doesn’t help." This led to an argument. I also mentioned that if we have children, we should send them to good universities like Harvard or Oxford, and this too led to an argument, as she felt we shouldn't put pressure on children to earn money. Then came the topic of money. I shared my salary slip and explained how both working and saving money are important because expenses are high. However, she said, "Saving money is foolish, everyone lives paycheck to paycheck nowadays." I tried to explain the importance of savings, but our discussions continued to be challenging. At one point, she said she wouldn’t wear sindoor or the mangalsutra. I told her that there was no need to wear it every day, just on special occasions. I agreed with this. As the arguments increased, I spoke to her father and mentioned that maybe she didn’t want to marry me. But her father reassured me that it wasn’t true, and they would talk to her. After that, things seemed normal for a while, but small arguments kept happening. In August 2022, I visited her again. I thought we could spend some time together and understand each other better. We went to Aerocity, where we had pizza and roamed around. After that, we went to Radisson Hotel on 27th July 2022, and our engagement was finalized. Over these two months, our communication continued, and eventually, on October 2, 2022, we had our engagement ceremony, and on October 3, 2022, we got married. After the wedding, we planned a honeymoon. Initially, she wanted to go to Vaishno Devi, so I took her there by Vande Bharat Express. Her uncle arranged VIP darshan. We walked up, but on the way back, her legs started hurting, so we rode a horse. After sitting on the horse for a long time, she had back pain. I reached the hotel, tried to soothe her pain by soaking her legs in hot water, and then we slept. After that, we planned to go to Udaipur. We took a SpiceJet flight there and booked a hotel near Fatehpur Sagar Lake. She wanted a lake-view room, but it wasn’t available. She argued with the staff, and we had to move to another hotel at night. The environment there wasn’t great, but she chose it. During our visit to Udaipur Fort, she suddenly said she wouldn’t go to the restaurant with me and would go home alone. I still don’t understand the reason behind this. From that point, my behavior towards her changed. After Udaipur, we planned to go to Agra. There, she suddenly accused me of having an affair with another girl and threatened to teach me a lesson. I asked her where this thought came from, but she didn’t answer. In July and August 2022, I visited her again. We traveled together and tried to understand each other better, but she never told me much about herself. After the wedding, I visited her during Diwali. She was happy initially, but gradually she became distant and stopped talking much. She wasn’t involved in decorating the house or participating in the Diwali puja. She remained absorbed in her own world, talking to her parents or I don’t know who else, while distancing herself from me. She needed reasons to fight, while I tried to stay calm, as it was a new marriage. On October 25, 2022, I returned to Chennai, and she came to Chennai a few days later. My mother also arrived in Chennai on October 26, and she stayed with us in Chennai until December. During this time, she started fighting over every little thing. She complained about who would do the housework and kept accusing me of not having enough money. She suggested hiring someone for cleaning, even though my mother and I managed it well. Then she refused to sleep with me, and we didn’t have any physical intimacy. Whenever she fought with me, she tried to belittle me. In January, she went back to Delhi, and I went to convince her to come back in January. During Lohri, I gave her a sari and gifts, but she still didn’t talk to me properly. She treated me very badly and didn’t want to stay with us. She fought with me several times and went back to her house. In February 2023, she came to Chennai again, but things were still not right between us. In April 2024, she came back to stay with me, but the very next day, the fights started again. She accused me of having an affair with another girl and threatened me. She destroyed things in the house, broke dishes and glasses, and created a mess. When I told her mother about this, she advised me to send her back. I booked her flight, and on April 7, 2024, she left. Since then, she has not been living with me. After that, I worked hard to bring her back. It was September when I managed to convince her to come. I tried to make her stay with me, but she stayed only for 4-5 days. On the 5th day, she started fighting again and decided to leave. She went to the railway station and sat there, saying, "I cannot live with you." We argued that night, and she left the house, shouting abuses at me and went back to her home. She thought everything would be fine, but when I tried talking to her, she started blaming me for not wanting her to stay with me.
Ans: It sounds like you've tried very hard to make this marriage work, but your wife has been emotionally distant, hostile, and unwilling to engage in a meaningful relationship. From what you’ve shared, there have been continuous conflicts, false accusations, and a lack of physical and emotional connection. It seems like she is not interested in making the relationship work, and her behavior—leaving multiple times, refusing intimacy, and fighting constantly—suggests deep incompatibility.

Before making a final decision, ask yourself: Is there anything left to salvage? Do you still love her and believe this marriage has hope if both of you genuinely try? Or do you feel exhausted and trapped in a cycle of disappointment and rejection? If you feel there is nothing left, then divorce may be the healthiest option for your peace of mind and future happiness.

If you decide to proceed with divorce, start by seeking legal counsel. In India, divorce can be mutual or contested. If she agrees, a mutual consent divorce is the easiest way. If she does not, you may need to file on grounds of cruelty or irretrievable breakdown of marriage. Gather evidence of her behavior—messages, incidents, and anything that proves your case.

This is not an easy decision, but your mental health and self-respect matter. If she is unwilling to change or make efforts, you should not have to live in constant conflict. Do you think she would agree to a mutual separation, or would she fight it?

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |525 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 04, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 29, 2025
Relationship
Hello Ma'am, I've a crush on a girl from my in laws. Inspite of avoiding etc I go specifically in that gathering where she's likely to be. I've not told it to anyone, neither does she know about it. I keep on masturbating imagining her. I know I'll never do any silly thing or let anyone know about it. Im married happily and 20 years elder to her.
Ans: It’s good that you are self-aware and acknowledging your feelings rather than acting on them impulsively. Having a crush, even in a committed relationship, is something that happens to many people—it’s human nature. However, since this involves someone from your in-laws and is significantly younger, it’s important to address these emotions in a way that aligns with your values and the commitments you’ve made to your marriage.

Right now, your mind is reinforcing this attraction by seeking out opportunities to be around her and fantasizing about her. The more you indulge in these thoughts, the stronger the emotional pull becomes. Avoiding her entirely may not be realistic, but reducing intentional exposure—such as seeking out gatherings just to be near her—can help weaken the attachment over time.

Instead of suppressing your feelings, redirect that energy into your marriage. What is it about her that attracts you? Is it youthfulness, attention, admiration, or just the thrill of something new? Whatever it is, find ways to bring those qualities into your relationship with your wife. Sometimes, an outside attraction is just a signal that something in your own life needs attention or excitement.

You’ve already made it clear to yourself that you won’t act on this, which shows maturity and self-control. The next step is breaking the mental cycle that feeds into the attraction. Engage in hobbies, meaningful conversations with your spouse, and self-reflection to understand what this infatuation represents. Over time, these feelings will lose their intensity as you shift your focus.

Do you think this crush is filling a certain emotional gap in your life, or is it purely an infatuation with no deeper meaning?

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |525 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 04, 2025

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Relationship
Me and my wife don't get along well...She thinks my family members are not good enough, so she has no relationship with them. Earlier I was not in good shape due to my friend's circle and did not give quality time to my wife when we got married. A few years back there was a misunderstanding between both families. Mistakes were from both sides. Now my in-laws and wife do speak to any member of our family and have broken all relationships. This is for the past several years since they have stopped talking. My father is a cancer patient and wants to come and stay with me. He is 80 now but my wife is deadly against this though I have not discussed this yet with her. I need your guidance as to how to handle this situation and restore a good relationship between both families. My mother-in-law had fought with me in the past as well and held me responsible for her daughter's plight. My wife is very secretive and does not reveal anything be it about her salary/job etc. I am fed up and now I have started to think of separating if she does not allow my father to stay with me. Our marriage is almost 24 years now. I am 50 and she is in her late 40's....I want to get these things right and maintain a good relationship between both families. Kindly advise
Ans: Dear Trilok,
From what you’ve shared, it sounds like past misunderstandings between both families have turned into a long-standing rift. It’s understandable that you want to fix things and create harmony, but the resistance from your wife and in-laws makes it complicated. Before addressing the larger family conflict, the first step is to work on communication with your wife. You mentioned that earlier in the marriage, you weren’t able to give her enough quality time due to personal struggles. Do you think she still holds on to resentment from that time? If so, addressing those unresolved emotions could be a starting point for rebuilding some connection.

Since she is very secretive, it’s possible that she also feels disconnected from you in some way. Instead of making the father-staying discussion an immediate confrontation, try to understand her underlying fears. Is she worried about responsibilities, space, or past issues with your family? Bringing this up as a conversation about caregiving rather than a demand might help.

If her resistance is absolute and she refuses to even consider it, you’ll have to decide how much compromise you’re willing to make for the sake of your marriage. If you feel separation is a real possibility, ask yourself whether the relationship still has a foundation worth saving or if both of you have simply grown too far apart.

Would she be open to counseling or mediation? Sometimes a third party can help break the cycle of blame and secrecy. Do you feel that she still values this marriage, or has she emotionally distanced herself completely?

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |525 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 04, 2025

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7828 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 04, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 28, 2025Hindi
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Money
I want to retire by 2026. Current financials - MF 2cr value, equity- 5cr, 2 own homes, bank FD - 20L, Savings a/c - 90L, no loans, 2 vehicles, 2 daughters employed, marriageable age. Current expenses - 1.5lacs/month. How do I plan to retire by March 2026.
Ans: Your financial position is strong. Planning for retirement in March 2026 is realistic.

Assessing Your Retirement Readiness
Your total investments and savings exceed Rs 8 crore.
You have no loans, ensuring financial stability.
Your monthly expenses are Rs 1.5 lakh, which requires proper planning.
Creating a Secure Retirement Corpus
Maintain Rs 90 lakh in a savings account only for short-term needs.
Keep Rs 20 lakh in FD for emergency expenses.
Use a mix of mutual funds and equities for long-term wealth growth.
Managing Monthly Expenses Post-Retirement
Use Systematic Withdrawal Plans (SWP) from mutual funds for a regular income.
Keep a portion of your corpus in debt investments to ensure stability.
Adjust your investment strategy based on inflation and expenses.
Planning for Major Future Expenses
Daughters' weddings need a dedicated investment plan.
Allocate a portion of low-risk investments for this goal.
Avoid withdrawing from equity investments unnecessarily.
Final Insights
Your financial standing supports early retirement.
Ensure liquidity while keeping long-term investments intact.
Work with a Certified Financial Planner for detailed execution.
Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7828 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 04, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 29, 2025Hindi
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Money
Hi sir i am 29 years old, with monthly income of 20k, follow are my investment 1)Quant Small Cap Mutual Fund -1000 2) Sbi pSu fund -1000, 3) Aditya Birla psu -500 and 4) motilal Oswal midcap( started this month). Also i have taken Tata Aia ulip - Rs. 2200 per month.(65 lakh Sum Assured with rider 50 lakh each for Accidental Death & Disability). Till now my total investment is Rs.60000(in sip). Ulip is 2 years old. Please advise me further for my future. Thank You,
Ans: You are taking early steps towards wealth creation. Investing at 29 gives you a strong advantage. Below is a detailed 360-degree approach to improve your financial planning.

Current Financial Position
Monthly Income – Rs.20,000
Mutual Fund SIPs – Rs.3,500
ULIP Premium – Rs.2,200 per month
Total SIP Investment Till Now – Rs.60,000
ULIP Policy – 2 years completed
ULIP Coverage – Rs.65 lakh sum assured
Rider Benefits – Rs.50 lakh each for accidental death & disability
Your savings habit is good, but your investment choices need optimisation.

Key Financial Goals
Build a strong emergency fund for unexpected expenses.
Increase investments while maintaining lifestyle stability.
Secure adequate insurance coverage with the right products.
Plan for long-term wealth creation with a structured approach.
Issues with Your Current Investments
1. Overexposure to Sectoral Funds
You have two PSU funds in your portfolio.
Sectoral funds carry higher risk due to limited diversification.
These funds may underperform for extended periods.
2. Small & Midcap Focus Without Balance
Your small-cap and mid-cap funds offer high growth but are volatile.
They should be balanced with large-cap or flexi-cap funds.
A well-diversified portfolio gives consistent and stable returns.
3. ULIP Is Not an Ideal Investment
ULIPs combine insurance and investment, which reduces overall returns.
Charges such as premium allocation, mortality, and admin fees lower investment growth.
Investment options in ULIP are limited compared to mutual funds.
A pure term plan + mutual fund SIP is a better alternative.
Since your ULIP is only 2 years old, consider surrendering it and reallocating funds.

Steps to Improve Your Investment Plan
1. Build an Emergency Fund First
Save at least 6 months' expenses in a separate bank account or liquid fund.
Avoid investing everything into market-based instruments.
This will protect you from financial stress during emergencies.
2. Increase SIP Contributions Gradually
Your current SIP is less than 20% of your income.
Increase SIPs as your income grows.
Aim for at least 30-40% investment allocation over time.
3. Diversify Your Mutual Fund Portfolio
Avoid excess exposure to PSU and sectoral funds.
Add large-cap or flexi-cap funds for balance.
Continue small-cap and mid-cap investments, but with controlled allocation.
Invest through Certified Financial Planner (CFP) & MFD for expert guidance.
4. Replace ULIP with a Pure Term Plan
A Rs.1 crore term plan will provide better coverage at a lower cost.
Redirect the ULIP premium into mutual funds for higher growth.
You will get better life protection and wealth accumulation separately.
5. Set Clear Long-Term Goals
Decide on major financial milestones like home purchase, retirement, etc.
Align investments with each goal's time horizon.
Follow a disciplined long-term investment strategy.
Final Insights
Increase your SIPs systematically as income grows.
Maintain a diversified portfolio instead of sector-heavy funds.
Surrender the ULIP and switch to a term plan + mutual fund strategy.
Secure an emergency fund before increasing risk exposure.
By following these steps, you will achieve financial stability and long-term wealth creation.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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