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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7410 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 22, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Ramesh Question by Ramesh on May 17, 2024Hindi
Money

Sir. I am 33 I can make an SIP 50k for at least 5years I don't even have any saving right now how can I proceed further...thank you ????

Ans: Investing Rs. 50,000 per month in a Systematic Investment Plan (SIP) for five years is a commendable step. At 33 years old, you have the advantage of time on your side. Let's explore a strategic approach to achieving your financial goals through mutual funds.

Understanding Your Financial Position
Starting Point

You currently have no savings, but you can invest Rs. 50,000 monthly. This consistent investment will be a strong foundation for building your wealth.

Importance of Emergency Fund

Before starting your SIPs, it's crucial to have an emergency fund. This should cover 6-12 months of your living expenses. It ensures financial security during unforeseen circumstances.

Health and Life Insurance

Adequate insurance is necessary to protect your investments. Ensure you have sufficient health and life insurance coverage.

Benefits of SIPs
Rupee Cost Averaging

SIPs help in averaging the purchase cost over time, reducing the impact of market volatility. It allows you to buy more units when prices are low and fewer when prices are high.

Discipline and Consistency

Regular investments instill financial discipline. It encourages saving and investing before spending, ensuring consistent wealth accumulation.

Power of Compounding

Starting early and investing regularly allows your investments to grow exponentially over time. Compounding can significantly increase your wealth.

Selecting the Right Mutual Funds
Actively Managed Equity Funds
High Growth Potential

Actively managed equity funds are managed by professional fund managers who select stocks aiming to outperform the market. They can provide substantial returns over the long term.

Market Expertise

These funds benefit from the expertise of fund managers who analyze and pick stocks based on market trends and company performance.

Disadvantages of Index Funds

Index funds passively track market indices. They may not outperform during volatile markets. Active funds aim for better returns through strategic stock selection.

Diversified Equity Funds
Risk Mitigation

Diversified equity funds spread investments across various sectors. This reduces the impact of poor performance in any single sector, providing a balanced growth opportunity.

Consistent Performance

These funds aim to provide consistent returns by diversifying across sectors and companies. They balance risk and return effectively.

Hybrid Funds
Balanced Approach

Hybrid funds invest in both equity and debt instruments. They provide the growth potential of equities and the stability of debt.

Moderate Risk

These funds are suitable for investors with moderate risk tolerance. They offer balanced returns with lower volatility compared to pure equity funds.

Building Your SIP Portfolio
High Growth Equity Funds

Allocate a significant portion of your SIP to high growth equity funds. They have the potential to provide substantial returns over time.

Diversified Equity Funds

Include diversified equity funds in your portfolio to spread risk. They provide balanced growth by investing across various sectors.

Hybrid Funds

Add hybrid funds to your portfolio for stability. They balance growth and risk, making them suitable for conservative investors.

Avoiding Index Funds

While index funds have low fees, they may not provide the desired growth. Actively managed funds aim to outperform the market, offering better returns.

Regular Funds vs. Direct Funds

Advantages of Regular Funds

Investing through a Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD) with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) provides professional guidance. They help in selecting the right funds and managing your portfolio effectively.

Disadvantages of Direct Funds

Direct funds have lower expense ratios but lack professional guidance. Investors must have the expertise to select and manage funds independently.

Monitoring and Adjusting Your Portfolio
Regular Reviews

Regularly review your portfolio to ensure it aligns with your financial goals. Adjust the allocation based on market conditions and personal circumstances.

Rebalancing

Periodically rebalance your portfolio to maintain the desired asset allocation. This involves buying and selling funds to keep the portfolio balanced.

Staying Informed

Stay updated with market trends and fund performance. Knowledgeable investors make informed decisions, ensuring better returns.

Professional Guidance
Certified Financial Planner (CFP)

A CFP provides personalized advice based on your financial situation and goals. They help in constructing a diversified portfolio that balances risk and return effectively.

Regular Consultation

Regular consultations with a CFP ensure your investments remain aligned with your goals. They provide insights and adjustments to optimize your investment strategy.

Setting Realistic Financial Goals
Achievable Targets

Set realistic financial goals based on your income and investment capacity. Unrealistic targets can lead to disappointment and poor investment decisions.

Long-Term Perspective

Focus on long-term wealth creation rather than short-term gains. Long-term investments benefit from compounding and provide substantial returns.

Conclusion
Starting a SIP of Rs. 50,000 per month is a significant step towards financial growth. Focus on building a diversified portfolio with a mix of actively managed equity funds, diversified equity funds, and hybrid funds. Regularly review and adjust your portfolio, and seek professional guidance from a CFP to achieve your financial goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Sanjeev

Sanjeev Govila  | Answer  |Ask -

Financial Planner - Answered on Jan 23, 2024

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Hello sir I am 48 year old i have not invested in any savings as of now I want to start please help me I am a self employed
Ans: Certainly! It's never too late to start investing. Here are steps you can take to begin your savings and investment journey:

Emergency Fund: Start by building an emergency fund equivalent to 3-6 months of your living expenses. This fund provides financial security in case of unexpected expenses or loss of income.

Retirement Planning: Evaluate your retirement goals and estimate the amount you'll need. Consider options like Public Provident Fund (PPF), National Pension System (NPS), and systematic investments in mutual funds for long-term growth.

Debt Reduction: If you have high-interest debt, prioritize paying it off. Reducing debt can free up more money for investments.

Diversified Portfolio: Build a diversified investment portfolio that includes a mix of equity, debt, and possibly real estate based on your risk tolerance and financial goals.

Systematic Investment Plan (SIP): Consider starting a SIP in mutual funds. This allows you to invest regularly in a disciplined manner, benefitting from rupee cost averaging.

Insurance Coverage: Ensure you have adequate health and life insurance coverage. This protects you and your family from unforeseen medical expenses and provides financial support in case of any unfortunate events.

Professional Advice: Consult with a financial advisor. They can help tailor an investment plan based on your unique financial situation, goals, and risk tolerance.

Tax Planning: Explore tax-saving investment options like Equity-Linked Saving Schemes (ELSS) and other tax-saving instruments to optimize your tax liability.
Stay Informed:

Remember, it's crucial to align your investments with your financial goals and regularly reassess your strategy. Consult with a financial advisor to create a personalized plan that suits your specific circumstances and aspirations

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7410 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 05, 2024Hindi
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Money
Hi sir am 35yrs old , and i don't have any savings till now. I am planning to do SIP now onwards 30k per month and mai aim is to I need to achieve 1cr till 45yrs. Kindly suggest me some funds were can I invest.
Ans: Starting a Systematic Investment Plan (SIP) is a great step towards building wealth for your future goals. Given your goal of reaching 1 crore by the age of 45, it's essential to choose mutual funds that align with your risk tolerance, investment horizon, and financial objectives. Here are some suggestions for mutual funds to consider for your SIP:

Diversified Equity Funds:
Look for funds that invest across various sectors and market capitalizations to spread risk.
Consider funds with a proven track record of consistent performance and experienced fund managers.
Large Cap Funds:
Large-cap funds invest in established and well-known companies with a track record of stable earnings.
These funds offer relatively lower risk compared to mid and small-cap funds, making them suitable for long-term wealth creation.
Mid and Small Cap Funds:
Mid and small-cap funds have the potential for higher growth but come with higher volatility.
Invest in these funds if you have a higher risk appetite and a longer investment horizon to ride out market fluctuations.
Balanced Funds:
Balanced funds, also known as hybrid funds, invest in a mix of equities and debt instruments.
These funds provide a balance between growth and stability, making them suitable for investors seeking moderate risk with potential for capital appreciation.
Index Funds:
Index funds replicate the performance of a specific market index, such as the Nifty or Sensex.
These funds offer low expense ratios and are ideal for investors looking for passive investment options with diversified exposure to the equity market.
Tax-saving ELSS Funds:
Consider investing in Equity Linked Savings Schemes (ELSS) to benefit from tax deductions under Section 80C of the Income Tax Act.
ELSS funds have a lock-in period of three years and invest primarily in equities, offering the potential for higher returns over the long term.
International Funds:
Explore international funds that invest in global markets to diversify your portfolio and access opportunities beyond domestic markets.
These funds provide exposure to sectors and companies not available in the Indian market and can offer diversification benefits.
Before investing, assess your risk tolerance, investment horizon, and financial goals. Consider consulting with a Certified Financial Planner to create a personalized investment plan tailored to your needs and objectives. Regularly review your portfolio and make adjustments as needed to stay on track towards achieving your goal of 1 crore by the age of 45. Remember, disciplined investing over time can help you achieve your financial aspirations.

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7410 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 29, 2024

Money
Hi sir my self Ajay I am 21 newly joined to job my salary is 30k per month I like to invest in sip how can I get 10crores in the age of 40
Ans: Ajay, first of all, congratulations on your new job and salary of Rs 30,000 per month! It's commendable that you are thinking about long-term financial goals at such a young age. Investing in a Systematic Investment Plan (SIP) to achieve Rs 10 crores by the age of 40 is ambitious but achievable with discipline and a good strategy. Let’s delve into the essentials.

Understanding SIPs and Their Benefits
Systematic Investment Plans (SIPs) allow you to invest a fixed amount regularly in mutual funds. This disciplined approach promotes regular savings and takes advantage of rupee cost averaging and the power of compounding.

Importance of Early Investment
Starting early gives your investments more time to grow. The longer your money stays invested, the more it can benefit from compounding. This means your initial investments and the returns they generate will earn more returns over time.

Setting Realistic Goals
Aiming for Rs 10 crores by 40 is a significant goal. It requires careful planning, consistent investing, and a keen eye on your portfolio's performance. Regular reviews and adjustments are essential.

Calculating the Required Investment
To reach Rs 10 crores, you need to calculate how much to invest monthly. While exact numbers depend on various factors, a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) can help with tailored advice considering your specific circumstances and market conditions.

Choosing the Right Funds
Opt for a mix of equity and debt funds. Equity funds, despite their higher risk, offer higher returns in the long term. Debt funds provide stability to your portfolio. Diversification helps manage risk while aiming for higher returns.

Importance of Active Fund Management
Actively managed funds can outperform the market due to the expertise of fund managers. They have the skills to pick high-performing stocks and adapt to market changes, unlike index funds which simply replicate a market index.

Role of a Certified Financial Planner
A CFP can guide you in selecting the best funds suited to your goals and risk appetite. Their expertise ensures that your investments are well-aligned with your financial objectives.

Regular Monitoring and Rebalancing
Investments need regular monitoring to stay on track. Market conditions change, and so should your investment strategy. Rebalancing your portfolio ensures that your asset allocation remains aligned with your goals.

Avoiding Direct Funds
Investing through direct funds might seem cost-effective, but they lack professional advice. Investing through a regular plan with a CFP ensures expert guidance, helping you make informed decisions and avoid common pitfalls.

Understanding Market Risks
Investing in mutual funds, especially equity funds, involves market risks. It's crucial to be aware of these risks and have a long-term perspective. Market fluctuations are normal, but staying invested usually pays off in the long run.

Power of Compounding
Compounding means earning returns on your returns. It’s a powerful tool for growing your wealth, especially when you start early and invest regularly. The longer your money compounds, the greater your wealth accumulation.

Consistent Investment
Consistency is key in SIP investing. Even if the market is down, continue your investments. This discipline helps in accumulating more units at lower prices, benefiting you when the market rebounds.

Tax Implications
Be aware of the tax implications of your investments. Equity funds are taxed differently than debt funds. Understanding these taxes can help you plan better and maximize your returns after tax.

Financial Discipline
Maintaining financial discipline is essential. Budget your expenses, save regularly, and invest wisely. Avoid unnecessary debts and ensure that your investments align with your financial goals.

Emergency Fund
Before investing heavily in SIPs, ensure you have an emergency fund. This fund should cover 6-12 months of your expenses. It provides financial security and prevents you from withdrawing your investments prematurely.

Staying Informed
Keep yourself informed about financial markets and investment strategies. Knowledge empowers you to make better investment decisions. Attend financial workshops, read books, and consult with your CFP regularly.

Avoiding Common Mistakes
Avoid timing the market. It’s challenging to predict market movements, and trying to do so can result in losses. Stick to your investment plan and maintain a long-term perspective.

Benefits of Professional Guidance
Working with a CFP ensures that you receive professional advice tailored to your goals. They help you navigate the complexities of investing and keep your portfolio on track.

Conclusion
Ajay, achieving Rs 10 crores by 40 through SIP is ambitious but possible with discipline and proper planning. Start early, invest consistently, and seek professional guidance. Regular monitoring and rebalancing, understanding market risks, and maintaining financial discipline will help you reach your goal.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1424 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 03, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 02, 2025Hindi
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Hi Sir/Ma'am, I am here to know if there is a problem with my mind or body as I am having a strong sense of demotivation to work towards the upcoming exams. I had taken a 3 months study leave from my work for the upcoming exams to be held in January . The first month was excellent but the next was not good and last month was pathetic. For the past 2 months I have been trying to work hard sincerely but failed. I sat at the study table, but could not achieve my targets. I wrote the targets , but still failed to complete them. I tried watching self help videos and read self help books but nothing is helping me. Today, it is like my brain signals not to work towards any of my targets. I am a CA aspirant and I tried all these ways but nothing worked for me. My exams are in 9 days and my family is not ready to give me any more chances because this is my 7th attempt. Even if I talk about this problem with my family, they become extremely negative and say harsh words about my future. Since I do not have family or friends to talk about it , could you please provide me sincere help in this ?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Kindly work with someone who can get you out of this mindset and into a mindset that is not motivating but also inspiring. Right now what you face is lack of inspiration which is understandable given the many attempts. But you are aware that some professional exams are like this; so persevere...
If it makes sense, take a break from it all...Breaks can refresh the mind and also help you realign yourself back to your goal. But make sure it's a short break and not something that will get you to a place of procrastinating. The break is to help you slow down the mind so that you can bring yourself back to your goal and take necessary steps to achieve it.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7410 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 03, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 03, 2025Hindi
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Money
I am 57 yrs , I have monthly income is 8.0 lakhs & want to retire at 60. I have 2.5 cr in MF and 50 lakhs in stock how much should I invest in MF & stocks
Ans: At 57, with a monthly income of Rs. 8 lakhs, you are in a strong financial position. You already have Rs. 2.5 crore in mutual funds and Rs. 50 lakhs in stocks. Retiring at 60 is achievable with proper planning. Let’s focus on enhancing your investments to secure a comfortable retirement.

Assessing Your Current Investments
Mutual Funds: Rs. 2.5 crore in mutual funds offers diversification and stability.

Stocks: Rs. 50 lakhs in stocks adds growth potential but comes with higher risk.

Retirement Target: Estimate your post-retirement expenses to calculate the required corpus. Include inflation-adjusted costs.

Recommended Mutual Fund Allocation
Increase SIP Contributions: With high income, raise your monthly SIPs in mutual funds.

Diversify Across Fund Categories: Allocate funds to large-cap, mid-cap, and hybrid funds. They balance risk and returns effectively.

Debt Mutual Funds: Add debt funds to maintain stability and liquidity in your portfolio.

Tax-Efficient Options: Choose equity-oriented hybrid funds for better post-tax returns.

Balancing Stock Investments
Reduce Exposure Gradually: Stocks can be volatile, especially closer to retirement. Shift some stock investments to mutual funds or safer options.

Invest in Quality Stocks: Retain investments in blue-chip or dividend-paying stocks for consistent returns.

Avoid Speculative Stocks: Focus on stable and established companies for reduced risk.

Tax Efficiency and Withdrawal Planning
Equity Fund Taxation: Long-term capital gains (LTCG) above Rs. 1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5%.

Debt Fund Taxation: Gains from debt funds are taxed as per your income slab.

Plan Withdrawals Wisely: Spread withdrawals over financial years to minimise tax liability.

Building a Retirement Corpus
Target Corpus: Calculate the required retirement corpus for the next 25–30 years.

Inflation-Protected Income: Invest in funds that offer inflation-beating returns for financial security.

Emergency Fund: Maintain an emergency fund covering at least two years of expenses.

Diversification and Risk Management
Asset Allocation: Maintain a 60:40 equity-to-debt ratio initially. Gradually reduce equity exposure closer to retirement.

Periodic Reviews: Review your portfolio semi-annually and rebalance as needed.

Risk Assessment: Avoid overexposure to volatile asset classes nearing retirement.

Planning for Healthcare and Contingencies
Health Insurance: Ensure you have adequate health insurance coverage for you and your family.

Contingency Funds: Allocate a portion of your portfolio to liquid assets for emergencies.

Minimise Unnecessary Risks: Avoid risky investments that could erode your wealth.

Final Insights
You are on the right track to achieve a secure retirement. Increase mutual fund SIPs, reduce stock exposure gradually, and maintain a balanced portfolio.

Focus on building an inflation-adjusted retirement corpus while ensuring tax efficiency. Periodic reviews and disciplined investing will help you achieve your financial goals.

Your high income and existing investments are commendable. With proper planning, you can enjoy a stress-free retirement.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7410 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 03, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 02, 2025Hindi
Money
Im 40 years old with a corpus of 2cr consisting of 50% equity funds and 50% of FDs, PPF , PF . Combined income of 2 lakh and have a 10 year old daughter.Doing SIP of 1lakh in equity funds and no loans. Is it possible to accumlate corpus of 10 cr within next 10 years ? What should be done additionally to achieve that goal?
Ans: Your existing corpus of Rs. 2 crore is a strong foundation. Splitting it equally between equity and fixed-income instruments ensures diversification. A monthly SIP of Rs. 1 lakh in equity funds is commendable, showing disciplined investing. With your current financial habits, you are well-positioned for wealth creation. However, achieving Rs. 10 crore in 10 years requires strategic adjustments and focused planning.

Evaluating the Rs. 10 Crore Target
To reach Rs. 10 crore in 10 years, your investments need to grow significantly. This goal demands higher annualised returns and enhanced contributions. Relying solely on current SIPs and portfolio returns may not suffice. Let’s identify steps to bridge the gap.

Optimising Your Equity Allocation
Increase SIP Contributions: With a combined income of Rs. 2 lakh and no loans, increasing SIPs is feasible. Incrementally raise your monthly SIP by Rs. 50,000 or more.

Choose Growth-Oriented Funds: Focus on funds with a proven track record in midcap and small-cap segments. These categories have the potential for higher returns over a 10-year horizon.

Monitor Fund Performance: Periodically review your equity funds. Replace underperforming schemes with actively managed funds showing consistent returns.

Leveraging Fixed-Income Investments
Enhance PF Contributions: If your PF contributions can increase through voluntary contributions, it will ensure stability while adding to long-term growth.

Review FDs: Fixed Deposits provide safety but may not match inflation-adjusted growth. Shift a portion to debt mutual funds for tax-efficient returns.

Continue PPF Investments: PPF is an excellent tax-free instrument. Ensure you maximise the Rs. 1.5 lakh annual limit.

Balancing Tax Efficiency
Equity Fund Taxation: Long-term capital gains (LTCG) above Rs. 1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5%. Plan withdrawals to minimise this tax impact.

Debt Fund Taxation: Gains from debt mutual funds are taxed as per your income tax slab. Select funds with low turnover to optimise post-tax returns.

Tax-Saving Opportunities: Invest in ELSS funds if you haven't exhausted the Rs. 1.5 lakh Section 80C limit.

Strategic Investment Adjustments
Goal-Linked Investments: Allocate investments specifically for this goal. Separate it from your child’s education or other financial goals.

Increase Equity Proportion: Consider a higher equity allocation, such as 70% equity and 30% fixed income. Equity delivers better inflation-adjusted returns over the long term.

Reinvest Returns: Do not withdraw returns. Reinvest them to compound the growth of your corpus.

Regular Reviews and Adjustments
Annual Financial Reviews: Assess progress toward your goal annually. Adjust contributions or allocations as needed.

Stay Updated: Keep track of changes in mutual fund performance, market trends, and tax regulations.

Seek Expertise: Engage with a Certified Financial Planner to tailor your strategy further.

Diversification and Risk Management
Balanced Portfolio: Ensure your portfolio is diversified across sectors and asset classes.

Emergency Fund: Maintain a separate emergency fund equal to six months’ expenses.

Risk Mitigation: Avoid overconcentration in a single asset class or fund category.

Child’s Education Planning
While focusing on Rs. 10 crore, don’t overlook your daughter’s education. Set aside a portion of your investments to meet this future expense.

Final Insights
Achieving Rs. 10 crore in 10 years is ambitious but achievable. With increased SIPs, strategic fund selection, and disciplined investing, you can reach your goal.

Reassess your portfolio annually and make necessary adjustments. Prioritise equity for higher returns and tax efficiency. Maintain focus and avoid unnecessary withdrawals.

Your financial habits and discipline are commendable. With focused efforts, you can build a significant corpus and secure your family’s future.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1424 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 02, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 01, 2025
Relationship
Hello ma'am, Meri age 30 sal ki hai aur meri wife 26 saal ki hai 3 saal pehle meri shadi hui aur humara ek 2 saal ka beta bhi hai, Bachcha hone ke baad me meri wife sex se bilkul dur chali gayi hai, Mahine dedh mahine me ek baar badi hi mushkil se sex kar pate hai, Aur us doran bhi jo sex karte time dono partners me feelings hoti hai, wo feelings us me aati hi nahi hai, Usko bas ye ek kaam lagta hai ke bas ho gaya ab tum mujhse dur ho jao, Aur ab ek nayi hi sharat rakh di hai unhone mere samne ghar ki hi koi baat hai jo wo sab janti hai uske bare me aur mujhse bolti hai ke wo wali baat tum apne muh se mujhe btao, kehti hai ke mujhe pta hai us baat per tumhara muh kabhi bhi nahi khulega , To ab tum mujhse dur hi raho. Main bohot jyada stress me chla Gaya hun. Ek hi bed per Sona per main unko touch bhi nahi kar sakta hu, touch karte hi mere haath ko dur fenk dete hai. Please suggest me?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Yeh kaunsi baat hai joh woh jaanti hai ke aap jaante ho par aap iske baare mein muh nahin kholenge? Yeh baat toh bilkul mere palle nahin pad rahi!
Aur rahi baat sex ki...bahut baar bacche ke aane ke baad ek Maa bacche ki parvarish mein itna vyast ho jaati hain ki thakaan se sex nahin kar paati ya karna nahin chati...ghar ke baaki kaamon mein bhi uljahkar thakaawat mehsoos karti hongi.
Unka haat bataakar kuch bojh halka ho jaayega unka toh shaayad woh aapki taraf dhyaan bhi de paayegi. Shaadi ke shuruwaat ke dinon ko waapas le aane ke piye aap dono ko aur isse phir se ek romance ka mahaul banega. Koshish kijiye...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1424 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 02, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 31, 2024Hindi
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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1424 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 02, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 31, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
after 11 years of courtship i married my boyfriend with parents permission after convincing them .We have been married for 1 year now and in this one year i saw many changes in him.he gives importance to his mother takes decisons without discussing with me but with his mother.To please his mother he talks about me like she dint do that particular thing.Now he went abroad for job and i am pregnant .I left my job and shifted to my parent's place.He doesnt even talk to me or message me.I only have to message him.If i tel any of my pregnancy complaints he either tells his mother or says i am overthinking.Now he said if I dont follow his house rule i better stay in my parents place only .I am so upset and devastated.What should I do
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
What according to you have caused these changes in him and that too after 11 years of courtship? Did any instance cause him to act differently than before? And were there no indications of him acting different during your courtship days?
Why I ask this is that it is difficult for anyone to pretend for 11 long years! He would have displayed his current behavior sometime in the past and maybe you simply decided to overlook it?
Courtship days and marriage days are vastly different and what seemed okay during the courtship time becomes an issue after marriage. If this is not the case, it's quite possible that some incident which was seemingly small became a huge issue in his head causing him to act different?
Now, why am I going into this so much is because most often we overlook reasons that can be worked on. So, do think hard on this...
It is also time to involve your parents who can talk to his mother and figure out why her son is acting all weird. Surely, your mother-in-law needs to know that her interference the way it is, is going to destroy her son's marriage. So, get your parents to talk to her. And in the meantime, as hard as it may seem, do take care of your health for yourself and your baby.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |485 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 02, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 24, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I am in a relationship with a girl since last 1.5 years, i told her everything regarding my financial status,my past ,everything.......she was also in a relationship for 5 years and she told me intially her ex mistreats her, abuse her , sexually force her and she hates him etc all this stuff.....but i found that she herself called her ex and then told me after 4 months...i forgive her but from last 2 months her behaviour is changed , now she is finding too many problems in how i look, my financial status and compare with other boys that they have car and they took their gf to long drives etc( her ex contacted her again and told her he got a job since then she starts all this stuff? She triggered my insecurities and i am feeling most useless and worst person... what should i do, does she really loves me? Please guide me ...i am started feeling depressed .......
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Let's address the most important thing first, does she really love you? I am not sure about that. It's neither a solid yes or a solid no. But therein lies the challenge. If there is confusion, there is concern. Moreover, the habit of drawing comparisons with other people and how they treat their partners is an indication of a toxic relationship. I would urge you to rethink this relationship.

There will always be someone better out there- with a better car, a better-paying job, or even better looking, but that doesn't mean we stop loving our partner and leave them for that "better someone." Loving your partner is a choice you make every day. Having said that, it is okay if she wants someone "better." Let her. You deserve better too.

Please reconsider this relationship, especially if it is causing you so much sorrow.

Best wishes.

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

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