Home > Money > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6971 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 24, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jun 24, 2024Hindi
Money

I am 32 year old single female.I have around 11 lakhs invested in ppf, mutual funds. I want to do my masters in business administration and it may cost around 30-40 lakhs if I study abroad.I have to apply for education loan for future studies.How can I be able to manage it and should I keep my mother's house as a collateral while applying for the loan the worth of the house is around 50 lakhs.Also will I get ROI from studying abroad so I can pay the EMIs without any hassle or I should do my master's in india as it will be more affordable than studying abroad.

Ans: You are a 32-year-old single woman with Rs. 11 lakh invested in PPF and mutual funds. Your goal is to pursue a master's in business administration, which may cost Rs. 30-40 lakh if you study abroad. You plan to apply for an education loan and are considering using your mother's house, worth Rs. 50 lakh, as collateral. Additionally, you are weighing the ROI of studying abroad versus studying in India. Let's break down your situation and explore the best options for you.

Evaluating the Cost of Education

The cost of pursuing a master's degree abroad can be high. Let's consider two scenarios: studying abroad and studying in India.

Studying Abroad

Studying abroad offers exposure to international standards, networking opportunities, and possibly better job prospects. However, it comes with higher tuition fees and living expenses. The total cost might range between Rs. 30-40 lakh.

Studying in India

Pursuing a master's degree in India is more affordable. The cost could be significantly lower, between Rs. 10-20 lakh. Indian institutions also provide quality education and good job opportunities.

Financial Planning for Education

With Rs. 11 lakh already invested, you have a good start. However, you need to arrange the remaining funds for your education. Here are some steps to consider:

Education Loan

Education loans can cover tuition fees, living expenses, and other related costs. Loans are generally repaid after you complete your course and start earning. Let’s discuss some important aspects:

Loan Amount: The loan should cover the full cost of education.

Collateral: You can use your mother's house as collateral. However, this decision should be made carefully.

Interest Rate: Compare interest rates from different banks to get the best deal.

Repayment Terms: Understand the repayment schedule, including EMIs and tenure.

Moratorium Period: Most education loans have a moratorium period during which you don’t need to pay EMIs. This period typically covers your study duration plus a few months post-completion.

Collateral Considerations

Using your mother's house as collateral is a serious decision. Here are some points to consider:

Risk: If you default on the loan, you risk losing the house. Make sure you are confident in your ability to repay.

Interest Rates: Loans with collateral generally have lower interest rates.

Alternative Options: Explore unsecured loans, scholarships, and grants as alternatives.

Return on Investment (ROI) of Studying Abroad

The ROI of studying abroad depends on several factors, including the reputation of the institution, the country, and the job market. Consider these points:

Earning Potential: Graduates from reputed international institutions often have higher earning potential. Research average salaries for graduates from your target schools.

Job Market: Assess the job market in the country where you plan to study. Are there good job opportunities for graduates?

Networking: Studying abroad can provide a strong professional network, which can help in career growth.

Personal Growth: Exposure to different cultures and learning environments can enhance your personal and professional skills.

ROI of Studying in India

Studying in India is more affordable, reducing the financial burden. Here are some points to consider:

Cost: Lower tuition fees and living expenses mean less debt.

Job Market: Indian institutions have strong placement records, with good starting salaries for graduates.

Local Opportunities: Staying in India allows you to build a network within the local industry, which can be beneficial for your career.

Managing Education Loan Repayments

Repaying an education loan requires careful financial planning. Here’s how you can manage it:

Post-Study Income

Estimate your expected salary after completing your degree. This will help you determine if you can comfortably manage EMI payments.

Budgeting

Create a budget to manage your monthly expenses, including EMIs. Prioritize loan repayment to avoid defaulting.

Savings

Continue to save and invest even after starting your job. This builds a financial cushion for emergencies and future goals.

Income Growth

Consider ways to increase your income, such as freelance work, part-time jobs, or further certifications. Higher income will make it easier to manage loan repayments.

Tax Benefits

Education loans offer tax benefits under Section 80E of the Income Tax Act. The interest paid on the loan can be deducted from your taxable income, reducing your tax liability.

Exploring Scholarships and Grants

Scholarships and grants can significantly reduce the cost of education. Research available options and apply early. Here are some types of scholarships to consider:

Merit-Based Scholarships: Awarded based on academic performance.

Need-Based Scholarships: Given to students with financial need.

Institutional Scholarships: Offered by universities and colleges.

Government Scholarships: Provided by government bodies for higher education.

Alternatives to Collateral-Based Loans

If you’re hesitant to use your mother's house as collateral, explore unsecured loans. These loans don’t require collateral but might have higher interest rates. Compare options from different banks and financial institutions.

Investing Wisely for Education

Continue to invest your savings wisely. Here are some investment strategies to consider:

Diversification

Diversify your investments across different asset classes to reduce risk. This includes equities, mutual funds, and fixed-income instruments.

Regular Contributions

Keep contributing to your investments regularly. This builds a substantial corpus over time.

Professional Advice

Seek advice from a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) to optimize your investment strategy and align it with your education goals.

Risk Management

Understand the risks associated with your investments. Choose a mix of high-risk and low-risk investments based on your risk tolerance and financial goals.

Importance of Financial Planning

Financial planning is crucial for managing your education expenses and achieving long-term financial goals. Here are the steps to create a robust financial plan:

Goal Setting

Clearly define your financial goals, including your education, career, and personal objectives.

Budgeting

Create a budget to manage your income and expenses. Include a plan for loan repayments and savings.

Investment Strategy

Develop an investment strategy that aligns with your risk tolerance and financial goals. Diversify your investments to balance risk and return.

Regular Review

Regularly review and adjust your financial plan to stay on track with your goals. Monitor your investments and make necessary changes.

Professional Guidance

Consult a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) for expert advice. They can help you create a comprehensive financial plan and guide you through complex financial decisions.

Final Insights

You have a strong foundation with Rs. 11 lakh invested and a clear goal for further education. Whether you choose to study abroad or in India, careful financial planning is essential. Consider the ROI of both options and make an informed decision. Applying for an education loan is a viable option, but be cautious with using your mother’s house as collateral. Explore scholarships, grants, and unsecured loans as alternatives. With proper planning and professional guidance, you can achieve your education goals and manage loan repayments effectively. Best of luck with your future studies and career!

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
Money

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6971 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 15, 2024Hindi
Money
Hello sir, I have invested in multiple funds @20k per month, I have some 5-6 l in FDs and a home loan of 40k per month....I am a single mother my son is now 17 and planning to send him for his ug studies preferably with 100 percentage scholarship to Germany....I want to know how effectively I can manage well as I earn @85k
Ans: It's heartening to see your dedication to securing a bright future for your son and managing your finances effectively. As a single mother with substantial responsibilities, your proactive approach to financial planning is commendable. Let’s delve into a detailed financial strategy that will help you manage your income, investments, and expenses effectively.

Understanding Your Current Financial Situation
You have a monthly income of Rs 85,000, an ongoing investment of Rs 20,000 in multiple funds, and a monthly home loan repayment of Rs 40,000. Additionally, you have Rs 5-6 lakhs in fixed deposits (FDs). Your son, now 17, aims for an undergraduate education in Germany with a full scholarship.

Budgeting and Expense Management
The first step is to create a detailed budget. This will help you manage your expenses and allocate resources effectively.

Track Your Expenses: List down all your monthly expenses including groceries, utilities, transportation, and any other miscellaneous costs.

Categorise Your Expenses: Divide your expenses into needs and wants. Needs are essential expenses like food, housing, and utilities, while wants are discretionary spending like dining out and entertainment.

Evaluate and Adjust: Assess each category to identify areas where you can cut back. Prioritise essential expenses and find ways to reduce discretionary spending.

Managing Your Home Loan
A home loan repayment of Rs 40,000 per month is a significant portion of your income. Here’s how you can manage it more effectively:

Prepayment Strategy: If possible, make partial prepayments towards your home loan. This will reduce your principal amount and interest burden. Use any bonuses, increments, or the surplus from your FDs for prepayments.

Interest Rate Review: Regularly review your home loan interest rate. If you find a better offer from another bank, consider refinancing your loan to get a lower interest rate.

Investment Analysis and Optimisation
Investing Rs 20,000 per month is a good strategy, but it's important to ensure these investments align with your goals and risk tolerance.

Diversified Portfolio: Ensure your investments are diversified across different asset classes. This reduces risk and provides balanced growth.

Actively Managed Funds: Actively managed mutual funds can outperform index funds due to professional management. The fund manager's expertise can help navigate market fluctuations.

Review Performance: Regularly review the performance of your investments. Ensure they are meeting your expectations and adjust your portfolio as needed.

Planning for Your Son's Education
Sending your son to Germany for his undergraduate studies with a full scholarship is a wonderful goal. However, it’s crucial to plan for other potential expenses.

Scholarship and Funding: Research all available scholarships and funding options. Encourage your son to apply to multiple scholarships to increase his chances of securing one.

Living Expenses: Even with a full scholarship, there will be living expenses such as accommodation, food, transportation, and books. Estimate these costs and start saving specifically for this purpose.

Education Loan: Consider taking an education loan if needed. Many banks offer loans with favourable terms for studies abroad. This can cover any shortfall and ease the financial burden.

Building an Emergency Fund
An emergency fund is essential for financial security. It acts as a safety net in case of unforeseen expenses.

Set a Goal: Aim to save at least six months' worth of living expenses. This would be around Rs 2,50,000 to Rs 3,00,000 considering your current expenses.

Utilise FDs: You already have Rs 5-6 lakhs in fixed deposits. Allocate a portion of this amount as your emergency fund. Keep this in a liquid FD or a savings account for easy access.

Securing Adequate Health Insurance
Health insurance is crucial to protect against medical emergencies. Ensure you and your son are adequately covered.

Comprehensive Coverage: Choose a comprehensive health insurance plan that covers major illnesses, hospitalisation, and critical care. Compare different plans for the best coverage and premium.

Family Floater Plan: A family floater plan can be cost-effective. It provides coverage for both you and your son under a single policy.

Top-up Plans: Consider top-up health insurance plans for additional coverage at a lower cost. These plans act as an extension to your base policy.

Planning for Long-term Goals
Long-term financial planning is essential to ensure a secure future for you and your son.

Retirement Planning: Start planning for your retirement early. Invest in long-term growth assets like mutual funds to build a retirement corpus. Aim to save at least 15-20% of your income towards retirement.

Life Insurance: Ensure you have adequate life insurance coverage. A term insurance policy can provide financial security to your son in case of any unforeseen events. Calculate the coverage amount based on your financial responsibilities and goals.

Avoiding Common Financial Pitfalls
It’s important to be aware of and avoid common financial mistakes.

High-interest Debt: Avoid taking on high-interest debt like credit card debt or personal loans. If you have such debts, prioritise paying them off as soon as possible.

Over-spending: Stick to your budget and avoid unnecessary expenses. Impulse purchases can derail your financial plans.

Insufficient Insurance: Ensure you have adequate health and life insurance coverage. Under-insurance can lead to significant financial strain in case of emergencies.

Seeking Professional Guidance
While self-education and disciplined saving are crucial, consulting a certified financial planner can provide personalised advice.

Tailored Financial Plan: A certified financial planner can help create a customised financial plan based on your goals, risk tolerance, and financial situation.

Regular Reviews: Schedule regular reviews with your financial planner to assess your progress and make necessary adjustments. This ensures you stay on track to meet your financial goals.

Final Insights
Your proactive approach to financial planning is truly commendable. Balancing investments, loan repayments, and planning for your son’s education requires careful management and strategic planning. By creating a detailed budget, managing your home loan effectively, optimising your investments, and securing adequate insurance coverage, you can achieve financial stability and security. Regularly review and adjust your financial plan to ensure it aligns with your evolving goals and circumstances. With determination and discipline, you can provide a secure future for yourself and your son.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6971 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Aug 02, 2024

Listen
Money
I am 57 years businessman,having mutual fund of 90 lakhs,share of 20 lakhs,lic of 20lakhs,investing 1.1 lakh per month in MFund.loan free 2 flats one in gurugram.a plot of 1.5 cr valuation.income is approx 2.5 lakh per month.i need 48 lakh for study of mba of my son and daughter next years.suggest me either i take study loan or redeem my own mutual fund
Ans: Current Financial Overview
Age: 57 years

Occupation: Businessman

Monthly Income: Rs 2.5 lakhs

Assets:

Mutual Funds: Rs 90 lakhs
Shares: Rs 20 lakhs
LIC: Rs 20 lakhs
Real Estate: 2 flats and a plot worth Rs 1.5 crore
Monthly Investments: Rs 1.1 lakhs in mutual funds

Liabilities: Nil

Immediate Financial Requirement: Rs 48 lakhs for MBA studies of children

Financial Goals
Objective: Fund MBA education for children
Options for Funding Education
Option 1: Redeeming Mutual Funds
Advantages:

The funds would be available immediately
No additional interest cost
No new debt to repay Disadvantages:

Cuts your investment corpus
Tax on redemption may apply
Option 2: Avail an Education Loan
Pros:

Preserves your investment corpus
Tax benefits are available under Section 80E
Your children's credit history gets established
Cons:

Interest cost for the entire tenure of the loan
Monthly repayment commitment post education period
Analysis on a Rational Basis
mutual fund redemption Analysis
Impact on Investment:

Withdrawal of Rs 48 lakhs from Rs 90 lakhs will leave Rs 42 lakhs.
It will impact future returns and compounding benefit.
Taxation:

LTCG tax may be levied.
Check for tax liability before redemption
How to Evaluate an Education Loan
Terms of the Loan

The terms of education loans are very liberal.
Repayment starts only after completing the course.
Rates of Interest

The rates of interest levied are lower in case of education loans.
Remember to compare rates with other banks.
Tax Benefits

The interest paid on an education loan is allowed as deduction under Section 80E.
This will help in reducing your overall tax liability.
Recommended Approach
Hybrid Redemption
Partial redemption
Redeem part of mutual funds, say Rs 24 laks.
This covers half of the cost of education without depleting your entire investment.
Partial Education Loan:

Take an education loan for the remaining Rs 24 lakhs.
This will balance the burden between your investments and future income.
Disadvantages of Direct Mutual Fund Investments
No Expert Management:

Direct funds lack professional guidance.
Regular funds offer expert management and better returns.
Complexity:

Managing direct investments requires time and knowledge.
A Certified Financial Planner can handle regular funds efficiently.
Merits of Investing Through a CFP
Professional Advice:

Personalised Investment plans.
Professional Management for optimum returns.
Regular Monitoring:

Portfolio would be reviewed continuously.
The portfolio would always remain aligned with the financial goals.
Tax Efficiency:

Advice on tax-saving investments.
It would help in maximizing returns and also minimize tax liabilities.
Final Insights
Balanced Approach: Use a mix of partial redemption and education loan.

Professional Guidance: Consult a Certified Financial Planner for Professional Advise.

Preserve Investments: Never allow your investment corpus to get depleted completely.

Tax Benefits: Use Sec 80 E to get exemption from tax on interest paid on the education loan.

Therefore, you can finance your children's education while you maintain a balanced portfolio for long-term financial stability.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Latest Questions
Dr Dipankar

Dr Dipankar Dutta  |678 Answers  |Ask -

Tech Careers and Skill Development Expert - Answered on Nov 05, 2024

Dr Dipankar

Dr Dipankar Dutta  |678 Answers  |Ask -

Tech Careers and Skill Development Expert - Answered on Nov 05, 2024

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1269 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 05, 2024

Listen
Relationship
Hi Madam, I'm 60,retired, my wife is 47, our son is 23. I had love marriage and was leading a happy married life. Just after silver jubilee of our wedding anniversary I accidentally came to know that my wife is madly in love with one of our common married friend who runs a simple shop. Upon investigation I found that they are in relation for last 12 years and were enjoying sex in my own house for such a long time. He hails from an uneducated family and is not even cultured. I could not believe that the wife of a highly educated socially respected man could do this with a shopkeeper who does not have any socio economic status. I am living a normal life with my wife for the sake of our only child. Once he settles in life I have decided to end my life. Ofcourse I still love her as ours was a love marriage. I seek your wise suggestion in this regard, should I divorce her or live a normal life that we are doing?
Ans: Dear Shristi,
It is obviously very shocking for you to know that things have been happening behind your back.
Now, how you want this to move on from here on, is a decision only you must make! Have you had a chat with your wife about the association that she has with the other person? Does she know that you know about it?
If she doesn't, then you need to make her aware and yes, do ask her whether she is interested at all in the marriage. That will give you an idea as to whether things are worth fighting for or is it best to walk away!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1269 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 03, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Hello madam I a 32 year old married man with a kid , who is 6 years old. I have done arrange marriage with my own decision I agreed to my parents for the marrige at that time I was in a casual relationship with a girl I didn't said anything to the girl and get married to someone else. After that I tried to live a happay life with my wife without thinking about the girl whom I left behind, from outside I tried to be happy with my wife but my wife thought doesn't matches with me so I felt so disturbed from inside. Still I was trying to continue the relationship for sake of our child but suddenly I got my ex love contact and I was so happy that after so long time I got a chance to talk to her, I have tried to meet her but she always refused to meet me because she was in a relationship. I tried many times and due to some misconduct I again lost her for the second time. At this moment when she is not with me her thoughts memories are troubling me so much I am in pain, what am I suppose to do to get rid of the pain?? Please help
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
There is no point wanting a 'past' relationship just because you have one...what if that relationship did not exist, you would have possibly made efforts to make your marriage work, right?
Then do just that...DO NOT treat your marriage as an option...which marriage is a perfect one? And are all spouses tailor-made to fit one another?
So, if her thoughts don't match with yours, then even yours don't match with hers...so, should she also think of jumping into some other relationship. Please act mature about this especially with a child in the entire equation; try and understand each other...speak about your differences and find ways of working on them by accepting them. Ex-love etc looks all very nice, but come down to ground reality; please...work on your marriage!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |395 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 15, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
I am 50 years old and got married 15 years ago. I am a very spontaneous sort of a guy and enjoy life, partying etc. I was also very active socially.My wife being the complete opposite put a stop to all that once we got married. She also does not display any affection and has no interest in physical intimacy. She is just concerned with her housework.We also have lot of differences in mental attitude & intellectual abilities. At no stage will we ever seperate, however, I am unhappy with her nature. She has lot of friends, however is always at daggers drawn with in her in laws. We had to stay separately for 6 months, and I tried looking for love else where, however after a couple of months, I realised, that I missed her. I am in a quandary. Despite requesting her to work on our relationship, I get no response. Please advise on how to proceed.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand you are in a tough spot. But it's nice to see that after all those years of differences, you still have genuine feelings for her. I strongly suggest considering marriage counseling. From your description of your marriage, it seems to be there have been issues from the very beginning of it. It's been too long and now those issues must've become deep-rooted. Seeing a professional can be a game-changer. They can guide you out of this slump more methodically and help you navigate the emotions you are feeling right now. It can also help you understand the reasons for your wife's disinterest and handle it better.

Best Wishes

...Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |395 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 02, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Hii, I have an love marriage after 9 years of dating and 6 years, 2 children post marriage, my little one is 11 months old now. My husband has an affair upto chatting to someone in his company, his junior but in different department, when my Lil one was 1 month old, we had in a rough patch then due to child birth and family drama. When I saw it and confronted him, he said he is sorry and won't do it again, we had multiple fights for 3-4 months after then due to same reason, but he mostly listen and consol. It's been a lot of mental torture for me. I love my husband a lot and he is a good person, but sometimes sill I see her msg in his phone asking for small helps or casual msg. She is also married. I am not sure my husband deletes msg or what, I am not able to get over this. Before it, this is was preety much a good relationship. I am highly educated and independent women. I don't want anything form my husband apart from love. What should I do, whenever I tell him I want to just leave and let him have his life, he won't let me somehow. We are having a good physical relationship 2-4 times a week( just to tell where we are). Please help me...I can't overcome that he is making fool of me...
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am sorry to hear you are in such a tough spot. I would suggest considering marriage counseling. A professional who can help you both tackle these issues would be helpful in this situation. I understand that it was his mistake and he needs to put the effort to make you trust him again, but since you are still together, you will also have to put in the effort to let it. I know it is difficult and that's where marriage counselor comes in. They can help you navigate these feelings. Moreover, if he is indeed hiding something, therapy can help that come out in the open.

Hope this helps.

...Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |395 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 10, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Hi, Me(M38) and wife(F37) happily married for 12 years and blessed with one daughter. Partner(F28)continuing friendship with a person[M] who had crush on her before marriage considered emotional infidelity? Me(M38) and wife(F37) happily married for 12 years and blessed with one daughter. My wife is having friendship (strictly platonic) with a guy from her 10tlh grade (same class). Before our marriage (she may be doing her college, our relationship just started may be 2 weeks) this guy told her he has genuine interest in her and he want to take the relationship further if she wants, she said she is not interested in a relationship and she got committed, she always saw him as a friend, no other feelings for him and we can be friends if you don't bring any romantic interest again. He never took this talk again ever after and happy to be a friend. They are talking as friends. She got married to me. He also got married. They still do chats once in a month. She introduced me to him and visited his home when we visited his city. He also came to our home once (me and my family was there). She used to update me with chat she had with him and the content they are chatting. I am ok with that When we were talking about our school life and college life 2 years before. She said this guy had crush on her during her college days. I asked her, why did not she tell me this info till now. She said it is not purposely, she does not feel the need to do as the person is not in-appropriate with her and continuing as good friend as promised after she rejected his proposal. I don’t want to create any unnecessary issues as I don’t have any felling or so with him. That time I checked their chats completely, it’s about update about their common friends, their recent travel, their job, meditation courses and the books they read recently. I haven’t seen any flirting or romantic message from either of them. So I am perfectly fine with it and had no problems. I recently came to know about the concept of emotional cheating which is very new to me. Before that cheating to me is only flirting, sexeting and physical sex. I have asked for advice in redddit.com in infedility sub forum about emotional cheating/ emotion affair. There persons are advising like even having friendship with someone who had crush on you is emotional cheating as it is indirectly leading them on you. So with an omission of lie he had crush on her and indirectly leading him on you wife was emotionally cheating on you. This is very much equal to cheating. I do have lots of friends in other gender, but no one had crush on me. Does this count as emotional cheating/affair as she did not mention he had crush on her before marriage? I am little depressed and not able to spend quality time with my wife who is in postpartum depression and take care of our daughter properly as before. Do you guys advise me how to navigate this situation?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Are you really going to ruin your happy relationship based on some new term you have learned recently? Emotional cheating and many more terms of the kind will come and go, what truly matters is the truth. She is merely friends with this guy and for your peace of mind, you have even checked their conversations- what part of it looks like cheating to you? If tomorrow, some random person projecting their own insecurities claims that a man speaking to a woman is some "new form" of cheating, would you start believing that? My point is that these are just random opinions of some people- it isn't the ultimate truth. The entire context matters. This man had a crush on your wife, she rejected it, and now they are just friends. I find absolutely no misconduct or infidelity in this. The fact that none of your friends had a crush on you does not factor in at all. Moreover, your wife is in postpartum depression- that should be your biggest concern but here you are, giving more importance to the random 2 AM thoughts of some people you don't even know. Please rethink if you are being fair to your wife- the mother of your child.

Best Wishes

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x