My in-laws family are having very good relations with our next door neighbour from the time of grandparents of my husband. I know them (uncle, aunty, their son, daughter in law & a kid) from 7 years (from my marriage). Uncle (26 years elder than me) favours me a lot. I requested for my placement in the company he is working in. I got the job there just after 1 year of my marriage in the company by the help of uncle. Uncle was in very senior position in the company. He was handling both audit & sales department. I wanted to work under him to have great experience. Company accepted my request. But most of the time, he was staying outside the city. Company arrange hotel for him as well as for a male colleague for back support him outside city. I requested the company to let me travel with him outside, but company was not ready to give separate room for me because of cost cutting. Even if I pay my expenses for separate room, it will be over budget for me if I spend so much frequently. So, I asked for permission from my husband & company to let me share the room (2 separate beds) with him. My husband believe on him more than anyone else. Fortunately, company & husband permitted me to share the room (2 separate beds) with him. Since then onwards, I was travelling with him outside to many cities but I was sharing room with him always. Uncle was taking care of me just like his own daughter. He was scolding me if I wear any inappropriate clothes by mistake or if I do anything wrong. He was calling me daughter instead of my name. I feel safe & comfortable with him. He is committed to work in the same company till his death. I committed the same. Now, from 1 year, there are changes in his behaviour. He has started calling me by my name instead of ‘daughter’. He has stopped saying anything if I wear inappropriate clothes. And the biggest thing is he has started flirting with me. Not the weird flirt, but a healthy flirt. He is complimenting on my looks, my dressing sense, my personality, etc. To be honest, I am still feeling comfortable & safe with him. I am still enjoying my official life by working under him. Sometimes I just smile & sometimes I flirt back (with no wrong intentions). He never touched me with any wrong intentions. My curiosity is why he changed after so many years ?? Nothing is changed in his personal life. His family is well & good. So, what made him change towards me ?? I have not told about this change to my husband otherwise he will take tension unnecessary. I believe that it’s ok to hide few such things if we are not having any wrong intentions. Also want to know if I should be concern about it or not ?? I am never going to take any step against my husband. I love my husband truly, but I don’t know what’s going on in the mind of my uncle ?? I want to know your view point in this situation.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It doesn't take a lot of smartness to figure out that this 'Uncle' has begun to have some 'feelings' for you...
Oh and the decision to stay in the same room and then justifying as that he takes care of you like his own daughter. You do realize that once the daughter grows, the fathers also have a sense of respecting the boundaries of his own daughter, right?
And kindly explain this to yourself: There is another male colleague traveling; why can't he share the room with 'Uncle' and you as a woman be given a separate room?
Please come to your senses before your company starts talking and it will not just get ugly at the workplace but also the place where you stay. PLUS your family is going to have a hard time processing what went wrong with their friendly neighbors.
Be smart, be wise and kindly put an end to this 'uncle-daughter' labels and understand that he is most likely beginning to grow feelings and just out of respect for your in-laws is being in his place. And your 'uncle' is never going to come and tell you this...these signals that you have mentioned are enough...
All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
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