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Baqar Iftikhar

Baqar Iftikhar Naqvi  | Answer  |Ask -

Start-up Mentor - Answered on Feb 19, 2024

Baqar Iftikhar Naqvi is the founder and CEO of Upriver Ecommerce, an online sales accelerator firm and can guide entrepreneurs on how to make their firms grow.He holds a BTech in textile technology from the Central Textile Institute and has a master's degree in marketing and merchandising from the National Institute of Fashion Technology.He has 23 years of experience in the consumer products and retail industry.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jan 11, 2024Hindi
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I am currently working as a travel consultant and my salary is around 43k .. I am planning to leave and do sanitary business with my brother in law as he does tiles business and I asked him that I will do sanitary business as he is not doing it ... Will it be ok for me to do the business without our relation getting spoiled

Ans: If you maintain professional relations while doing business with your relative, and maiintain proper accounting and transparency, it will run well.
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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1449 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 21, 2023

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Dear Khevna Shah I am in the business of my father's after his death with my uncle for the last 15 years and so and when my father died my age was 22 and I was a simple, shy and fear boy and was happy and i am doing the accounts job and i was not taking my salary on monthly basis or yearly basis means i want to say that i take 200 or 500 or sometimes 10000 to 20000 as per my requirement and sometimes i have to give it to my mom for her personal expenses. After two and half years, i was having problems with my uncle due to professional reasons and i was talking to him at that time and discussing all the problems and business related issues facing by me and he was listening but not responding to my problems during these years and after passing of two and half years i tried my best for talks, discussion but i was not getting any response from his end and after that period i stopped myself for any talks, discussion and sharing with him and I was prepared to left him and go elsewhere and do something new or do a job or start a new business on my own as we were are living in joint family and still we are in joint. Mam i did not left him and he provided me a new business and I became the proprietor of that new business and i didnot have any idea of that new business and when i engaged in that business i came to know that this business is all runs on liabilities for around three months to six months and depends on how you capture the market with low competitive rates and that time was new and i was not having any distributorship also and the business went on losses and i have beared losses for almost lakhs and lakhs of rupees. So, I closed the shop and again started doing account job in my father's business with my uncle as all the decisions related to business was taken by my uncle and same problem which i was facing in my early stage was repeated and the days were passing as it was passing previously. Now when corona came in the world, we were all lockdown in our homes and in that time we were all of our family members lockdown in our home. In that period we were all fighting with the corona that when will corona go and when we will go outside again and when will our normal life will start we were talking about our works of home should be divided. In that period all the works were divided and when lockdown was over and we were slowly slowly coming back to normal. Our joint family divided and now we are separate but our business is not separate and i am getting the salary fixed after our separation. Now the problem is that the salary fixed is not upto the mark and i am facing financial crisis at my end and our relation are so so and i am facing heated conversation with my wife related to money problems as i have to give her the money for household activities, personal expenses, my child school fees, admission fees and other activities related to school and i am very much exhausted with all the daily dose. So, therefore what will be my steps to go forward regarding the issues with my uncle and the problems which i am facing right now and have a peaceful time.
Ans: Dear Ashish,
Time and again you have been waiting for things to change in your favour. Your first sign was when your uncle's resistance at doing or thinking anything good for you.
Good nature of yours to trust him and still keep at it, but I guess now being in your 30s, should tell you that you need to make your life yourself and on your own terms.
Don't hang around thinking that the tides will change for you; instead change things the way you want by breaking free. Now. how you want to do it; is something that you need to discuss with your wife and decide. You have been far too dependent on this dream world that your uncle is going to make things happen and will be kind to you.
Be kind to yourself and now ask yourself:
- how can I revive my financial position on my own?
- what support do I need and from whom to achieve this?
- how can I keep myself motivated every day as I change things for the better?

The time has also come to have a clear chat with the person controlling the business. It gets messy when the family is divided and the business is still joint. Money troubles are never going to have clarity ever in this type of an arrangement. So, take matter into your own hands without fearing the outcome and think of only how you can have a better and peaceful life. The answer will be crystal clear to you.

All the best!

..Read more

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |508 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 20, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 11, 2025Hindi
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I am a 20 years old guy and in my past romantic relationships, have shown signs of emotional instability, too much dependency and lack of awareness of boundaries which affected my relationships badly...I hadn’t interacted with people in a long while since 2020 (precisely when lockdown had started) and feel that some aspects of my personality are not developed fully as they should be at this age. How to work on this? Also, i have noticed that I am able to create a good first impression but it soon pales and I feel like I am subtly disrespected or talked down to, and this has been happening in all interactions...i am always respectful (often to a fault!) and even have people pleasing tendencies...i sometimes ask immature weird questions and that might probably be the reason (but they’re never inappropriate)...but i do want to gain insights into why i am experiencing what i am and how to navigate this situation well so that I can maintain healthy relationships in future. Thanks you!
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
First of all, I want you to understand that it is no small feat to realize the quirks and imperfections in ourselves- you have done it. Your effort to understand and rectify them deserves to be acknowledged and appreciated.
Now, coming to your question, I can only give you some general advice on each-
Emotional instability and dependency- these behavioral patterns can stem from various factors; it can be a lack of confidence or some past issues that are left unresolved. It is difficult for me to tell you exactly why it is happening. It can also arise from a lack of validation. To manage it, you can focus on self-regulation- like meditation or journaling whenever you feel these emotions rising. This way you are expressing them but not damaging your relationships. Take up new hobbies or goals. Achieving milestones can build confidence.
Navigating Boundaries- You can speak to your partner in the early stage of the relationship to understand their boundaries. This way there will be clarity and you won't overstep. You can set up some boundaries too.
For better interpersonal skills, you can proactively follow some rules- like active listening, avoiding overthinking, asking open-ended questions, and resisting the urge to seek your partner's approval.
About the awkward questions- it is important to understand that you might perceive them as awkward, but the person opposite to you might think of it as a genuine curiosity. As long as it isn't intrusive or inappropriate, there are no awkward questions.
Like these, I can only offer you some general advice. But the best advice of them all would be to seek counseling. It has done wonders for people. And the first step, which is identifying the issues is already done. Bravo! What's wrong with taking a little professional help in navigating the next steps? They can guide you in a more structured manner.
Hope this helps.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |499 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 20, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 09, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
I’ve been in a relationship with a girl for the past 4 years, but due to various issues, things have become extremely complicated. Her father doesn’t approve of me, and my mother doesn’t like her either. Despite this, we’ve managed to stay together all these years. The problem is now escalating. My family is pressuring me to marry someone else, but I’m unable to leave her. At the same time, I feel I can’t marry her either because of her behavior and the ongoing issues with my family. I’ve tried to ask her to change certain things, but she hasn’t made any efforts in that direction. To make matters worse, her mother supports our relationship and trusts me, which makes it even harder for me to walk away. I don’t want her to marry someone else, but I also feel stuck because of my family’s expectations and the challenges in our relationship. Even If I leave her I don't know what she is going to do. What should I do in this situation to make the best decision for everyone involved?
Ans: it's crucial to reflect on what you truly want and need from a relationship. Ask yourself if this relationship brings you the happiness and fulfillment you seek, or if the challenges you face are too significant to overcome. It's important to differentiate between staying out of love and staying out of fear or obligation.

Talking to your partner openly is essential. Share your concerns honestly and listen to her perspective. If there are changes you've hoped for, express why they matter to you. At the same time, recognize that change is a two-way street—it requires effort and willingness from both sides. If she hasn't made efforts in the areas you've discussed, it may be worth considering whether this is a pattern that can be changed or a fundamental mismatch in expectations.

Your family's disapproval complicates things further, but it's important to remember that this is your life and relationship. While their opinions are significant, they shouldn't be the sole deciding factor in your happiness. Balancing respect for their wishes with your own needs is a delicate task, but ultimately, you need to make a decision that feels right for you.

If the relationship feels unsustainable despite your efforts, it may be time to consider a different path. It's understandable that you’re concerned about her well-being, especially given her mother's trust in you, but staying out of guilt or obligation can lead to further unhappiness for both of you. If you decide to part ways, doing so with kindness and honesty can help mitigate some of the hurt.

Ultimately, this decision is deeply personal. Weighing your feelings, the relationship dynamics, and your family's expectations will guide you toward a resolution that prioritizes your well-being and future happiness.

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |499 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 20, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 09, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
My age is 41 years. I have two kids. Nurturing n looking after them n whole home single handedly. I am a visiting faculty in a institute . Earns very nominal earning. My husband hits me, taunts me and use very arrogant words to me like tumhe belt se maarunga n similar many worst words. His family has been always unsupportive to me . Now after 16 years of marriage, he still wants me to please his mother n other family. Which I completely avoid as they have never supported me and always boycotted me. His real brother is in politics and all family members including his cousins do follow him and boycotted me n husband. Now for everything my husband blames me and says if you gave pleased them, all might have good. But inspite of pleasing them a lot , they are like treating me like I am a stranger. I handle n manage everything still by the end of the day.... everything is in vain. Husband says...What you did for home? I will never ever give my money to you and so on. I am literally in trouble thoughts, what to do ? I even many times thought to end my life but my kids are the reason I continuously bears everything. Please suggest what shall I do.
Ans: it's important to acknowledge that no one deserves to be treated with such disrespect and abuse. Your feelings of isolation and frustration are valid. It can feel overwhelming when the people who should support you instead make you feel like an outsider.

In situations like this, it’s crucial to find support outside the immediate family. Reach out to trusted friends, family members, or support groups who can offer you emotional strength and practical advice. Consider speaking with a counselor or therapist who can help you navigate these complex emotions and provide strategies for dealing with the abuse and stress.

You’ve shown immense resilience, especially for your children. They need you to be strong, and seeking help is a vital step in preserving your mental and emotional well-being. Remember, prioritizing your health is not selfish; it’s necessary for you and your children’s future.

Also, explore any legal avenues or resources available for individuals in abusive relationships. Local support organizations, legal aid, or women’s shelters can provide advice and assistance if you decide that leaving the relationship is the best option for your safety and well-being.

You have already shown great courage by managing so much on your own. Continue to seek out support and know that you are not alone in this journey. There are people and resources willing to help you find a path to a healthier and more secure life.

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