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Anu

Anu Krishna  |795 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 18, 2023

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
yashasvi Question by yashasvi on May 17, 2023Hindi
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I am jee aspirant and couldn't clear it . I was sure that in 2nd attempt i will do it for sure but when I saw the results they broke my courage. I convinced my self its ok u have many other options but after seeing my cbse 12th results its hard that there is any option left for me. I thought for bits pilani but I am not getting aggregate above than 75% . Now , I have no courage to start again . I am depressed what should I should do. There isn't any single day that I am not scolded for my marks and mistakes . Even now my parents aren't that much supportive like they were . It feels like just because u can't clear ur entrance exam , ur everything is judged. My parents are saying of taking drop but its hard for to take a drop. I don't know what should I do. Every day its getting hard to live thinking that again someone will come and make me count my mistakes.

Ans: Dear Yashasvi,
You win some, you lose some...that is LIFE...

Instead of feeling down and out, pick yourself up and figure out what you want to do next...what are the other options that you are yet to consider. feeling sorry for yourself is not going to push you to make a future.
You can't change what's happened but you can certainly choose how you want things to move ahead...
So shake this low feeling and feeling sorry for yourself off and seek the advice of a senior who you look up to or someone in your family who can guide you on the next steps.
It helps involving someone to help you at this time as you are deep into it already. This person can play the role of giving you independent advice and suggestions without judging you.

1. Seek someone who is a role model to guide you
2. Look ahead instead of harping on what has happened
3. Use failure as a form of feedback from where you can learn
4. Spend at least a month away from academics to rework strategies on how to study effectively
5. Smile through challenges as they only help you grow

And if you still feel that your parents are being supportive, do let them know that you need more of their love and care.

All the best!

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Anu Krishna  |795 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 24, 2022

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Hi Anu ma'am, I'm a class 12th JEE aspirant. Right now my life is actually seeming to be over. I have my board exams going on and JEE mains on head. The exams are not a problem but those expectations of performing good are. I've been a good student till now. Scored 96.6% in 10th and was always a sincere and obedient child. My father is an alcoholic and mother, a typical Indian housewife who is all nice, hardworking, busy with house chores, frustrated and tired all day. Before the pandemic life was much easier to me. I would go to school and forget all these problems with my family. Oh I didn't mention that my father sometimes turns abusive and beats my mother. I don't know how safe it is to share here but I wish to confide in you. So this pandemic ruined it all. I had to face the reality of my life at home. I couldn't join any coaching or tuitions as this is not that developed place. I had to manage my studies with all this stress. I kind of ruined all my progress and image as a decent performer in school. I would never in a million years blame my environment for this. My parents love me and always wish the best for me. But right now I'm scoring really low in boards as well as JEE mock tests. All this is breaking me. I always wished to study hard and explore a world outside this little, not so happy house. I don't know what I'll do if I don't get a good government school. I want to make things happy between my parents and maybe if I earn well, I can do something...I don't know what but seems like money can fix a lot of things. I'm really so depressed...I was on anti-depression pills but felt like not to continue them as they made me overthink more...I don't know why. Nowadays I would just go on and sit uselessly or sleep for the entire day as I just want it to get over. Nobody sees how sad I'm. My father is busy with his office work and mother is depressed and traumatized to some levels. I feel like I can't burden them with all this anymore. I talked to my father to get things healthy but he gets all angry and aggressive.... and I'm really weak to face that both mentally and physically. I really wish that you get time to write back to me. I really need some help. I read an article where you answered some queries and couldn't stop myself. I just want to see if it's actually over or I have anything still left in this world for me :(Thank you
Ans:

Dear A,

Thank you for reaching out.

My response will be out here and shared online but your name does not appear, so it will be strictly confidential.

Sometimes we get into situations that we obviously don’t want to be in; like I am sure you didn’t want to be in a place filled with doubts and anxiety.

But hey, do you realise what’s nice about you?

You have a trait that doesn’t believe in blaming her parents and indulging in self-pity. And that’s wonderful and you know why?

Because when you shift focus onto yourself, you start to step up and do something more useful like value and respect your own life.

So, why don’t you start with listing down all the things that you are good at.

Next, the way you used to study earlier was effective; bring that schedule and pattern of studying back.

Write down the goal/outcome clearly and put down steps to achieving it. Exams are just one part of your life and not your entire life.

As for improving your environment, all that you can do now is, fortify yourself from the heated debates and sadness and how?

By spending time with friends who support and care for you, listening to music, indulging in things that you love doing.

And lastly, smile a lot! It will make you feel wonderful from within.

Celebrate what you have and live that moment! And most importantly, love yourself and the rest will follow…

All the best!

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Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  |97 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 18, 2023

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Hello , I am jee aspirant and it feels like I ruined my carrer because of involving in dating and stuff.. and now i feel helpless because nothing is in my hand . I feel guilty for not standing upto my parents expectations. If I talk about the love life it feels like it was the worst decision. Now I feel stressed and depressed . What shoul I do?
Ans: It's understandable to feel overwhelmed and stressed about your situation. It's important to remember that you are not alone, and there are steps you can take to move forward and improve your situation.

Firstly, it's important to address your feelings of guilt and shame. It's normal to make mistakes and have experiences that don't align with our parents' expectations or our own goals. It's essential to recognize that these experiences do not define your worth or value as a person.

It's also crucial to take care of your mental health. Consider talking to a therapist or counselor who can help you work through your feelings and develop coping strategies. Additionally, taking care of your physical health through exercise, healthy eating, and proper sleep can help improve your mood and overall well-being.

As for your career, it's not too late to get back on track. You can take steps to improve your academic performance and study habits. Consider seeking out additional resources, such as tutoring or study groups, to help you achieve your goals.

Finally, it's important to remember that your love life does not have to define your career or future. Many successful people have had relationships and experiences that didn't align with their career goals, but they were able to persevere and succeed. You can do the same by focusing on your goals and taking the necessary steps to achieve them.

Overall, it's important to take things one step at a time and to focus on the present moment. With time and effort, you can overcome your challenges and achieve your goals.
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Mayank

Mayank Chandel  |415 Answers  |Ask -

IIT-JEE, NEET-UG, SAT, CLAT, CA, CS Exam Expert - Answered on Jul 11, 2023

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |795 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 10, 2023

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Hi mam i give neet with partial drop three times i always wanted to be a doctor in my whole family my brother and sister get their desired colleges i am not jealous of them but i sometimes feel neglected then i worked hard on my dreams as at my third attempt as i give at three months before it my final exam of college of other subject start i can't even quit that because i fear my family disappointment then i didn't able to give my 100 fully that makes me satisfied i feel so depressed that i didn't have courage to check marks while everyone is celebrating their success i feel lost can't i feel complete one good dream for myself all my family support me to do whatever you want but i can't decide i feel like tragiec the faith all i have put in myself feel like useless i crave to be success do something for my own but i can't known that such thing occur unexpectedly i feel depressed and my family think i am just doing because to gain their attention ,i keep unnessary exceptions from me ,is it crime to keep big dream althought i worked hard but it didn't take outi feel like lost all how can I get up and achieve something feel proud of myself
Ans: Dear Yadnya,
Dream Big and never be afraid to Fail. Most often, we are told that failure is not an option. Failure when accepted as a part of life, then loses power over us.
1. Never become attached to the outcome so that fear does not play in your mind
2. Understand that We win some and Lose some and losing does not mean all is lost
3. Draw a clear plan to achieve your goal
4. Work on your state of mind for optimum performance
5. Develop hobbies outside of studies that can support you have a positive outlook on a daily basis
6. Family and friends are your best support system, so talk to them regularly about your challenges to enable them to support you

Smile and dream big again; tomorrow is another new day.

All the best!
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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |159 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 06, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 02, 2024Hindi
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Hello ma'am, I am student of 12th and I have my jee mains exam in three days and I don't think I can do well it .I don't want to take a seat in exam ,my parents and everyone is accepting a good result but I am sure that I can't score good , because of all this pressure and depression I am having suicidal thoughts and I can't even focus on study , please suggest me some way to cope it
Ans: It sounds like you're under a tremendous amount of pressure, and it's understandable that you're feeling overwhelmed. First and foremost, your mental health and well-being are the most important things, and it's essential to prioritize them above all else. If you're having suicidal thoughts, it's crucial to reach out for help right away. You can call a helpline, talk to a trusted adult, or seek support from a mental health professional. Your safety is the top priority. It's important to share what you're going through with someone you trust. Whether it's a friend, family member, teacher, or counselor, opening up about your feelings can help lighten the burden and provide you with much-needed support.Be kind to yourself during this difficult time. Remember that it's okay to struggle, and you're not alone in feeling this way. Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer to a friend in a similar situation.Break down tasks into smaller, more manageable steps. Instead of focusing on the exam as a whole, try to focus on studying for short periods of time, taking breaks when you need them, and acknowledging your progress along the way. Incorporate relaxation techniques into your routine to help reduce stress and promote a sense of calm. Deep breathing, meditation, mindfulness exercises, and progressive muscle relaxation are all helpful strategies. It's important to set realistic expectations for yourself. Remember that nobody is perfect, and it's okay if things don't go exactly as planned. Focus on doing the best you can with the resources and support available to you. Consider reaching out to a therapist, counselor, or mental health professional who can provide you with additional support and guidance. They can offer coping strategies, help you work through your feelings, and provide you with a safe space to talk. Remember to take care of your physical health as well. Make sure you're eating nutritious meals, getting enough sleep, and engaging in regular physical activity, as these can all have a positive impact on your mental well-being.Try to identify and limit sources of stress in your life, if possible. This might mean taking a break from social media, setting boundaries with others, or asking for help with tasks that feel overwhelming. Instead of dwelling on things that are out of your control, focus on what you can control. This might include your study habits, self-care routine, and the support you seek from others.

Remember that it's okay to ask for help when you need it, and there are people who care about you and want to support you through this difficult time. You're not alone, and there are resources and options available to help you cope with what you're going through.
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Moneywize

Moneywize   |93 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner - Answered on Apr 19, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 18, 2024Hindi
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My brother purchased a piece of land in Assam in October 1983 which he gifted me by a deed in August 2010. I sold the same piece of land in March 2024. The stamp duty fair price is about Rs 1,40,00,000. Will this transaction attract Capital Gain Tax? How can I myself calculate the LTCG if such a situation presents itself?
Ans: Yes, in this scenario, you will likely incur capital gains tax when you sell the land.

Here's why:

• Gifts are exempt from receiving taxes: When your brother gifted you the land in 2010, you weren't liable to pay any tax on receiving it.
• Tax on sale of gifted property: However, when you sell the property you received as a gift, capital gains tax applies to the profit earned on the sale.

Calculating Long Term Capital Gains (LTCG):

Since your brother purchased the land in 1983 and you sold it in 2024, it qualifies as a long-term capital gain (LTCG) assuming you held the property for more than 2 years.

Here's a simplified formula to estimate the LTCG (consult a tax advisor for the exact calculation):

• LTCG = Sale Price - Indexed Acquisition Cost
• Sale Price: Rs 1,40,00,000 (Given)
• Acquisition Cost: Rs 0 (Gifts typically have an acquisition cost of Rs 0)
• Indexed Acquisition Cost: Acquisition Cost * (Current Year Index / Acquisition Year Index)

Indexation Benefit:

• Indexation helps adjust the acquisition cost for inflation, reducing your tax burden.
• You'll need the official government published ‘Base Year Index’ for 1983 and 2024 to calculate the indexed acquisition cost.

Example (using hypothetical index values):

Let's assume (for calculation purposes only) the base year indices are:

• 1983: 100
• 2024: 630 (This is a hypothetical value, you'll need the actual index for 2024)
• Indexed Acquisition Cost = Rs 0 (Acquisition Cost) * (630 / 100) = Rs 0
• LTCG = Rs 1,40,00,000 (Sale Price) - Rs 0 (Indexed Acquisition Cost) = Rs 1,40,00,000

Tax on LTCG:

LTCG on land is currently taxed at 20% with indexation benefit.

In this example (assuming the above index values), your LTCG tax would be Rs 1,40,00,000 * 20% = Rs 28,00,000

Disclaimer:

This is a simplified explanation for illustration purposes only. Consulting a qualified tax advisor is recommended for accurate tax calculations and to consider any specific aspects of your situation. They can guide you through the intricacies of property tax laws, exemptions, and filing requirements.
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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |169 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 18, 2024

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Relationship
My boyfriend tells about us to his parents his parents rejected our relationship due to intercaste and they also stop talking to him it's been 4 months his mother don't talk to him .He is in navy . And they also started searching girl for him . He want to maintain distance from me he is not happy he is stressed as his own parents are not talking to him And also maintaining distance to me he talks to me me but just because I can't live without him but he changes in behaviour what to do
Ans: Dear Shruti,

I am sorry that you are in this situation. First of all, please try to look at it from your partner's perspective. It isn't easy to confront your parents and it's even harder when they stop communicating altogether. Having said that, I also understand how it is for you. It is not fair, especially in today's day and age, to face discrimination based on caste.

You have two options:
One, you wait patiently, emotionally support your boyfriend, and hope that his parents come to their senses and realize that we are living in 2024, and caste-based discrimination is ridiculous. In this scenario, you do have to let go of your self-respect and have to face many more hardships, that much is guaranteed.

The second option is you hold your head high and move on. Yes, it isn't what you hoped for when you emotionally invested in building this relationship, but unfortunately, these things are still happening. In this scenario, you will be sad for a long time, but you don't have to compromise on your self-respect and you will move on and live to see happier days with someone who respects you and sees you for who you are and not your caste.

Now, the choice is yours.

Best Wishes!
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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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