I am going through a rough patch in my marriage and need an expert's advice badly since I do not have any elders or family members to help me out.

I am a Muslim lady. I had my first marriage to a Hindu guy going against my family, which did not work out and we got divorced mutually.

My family has since boycotted me and I am alone with a 14 year old daughter. (Mom stays with me but not much support)

I am a working woman, and don't have much issues financially. After a year or so of my divorce, I met a childhood friend of mine after long, we liked each other, we got close and decided to get married.

He was already married, but since in our religion, second marriage is legal and the second wife gets equal rights and respect as of first wife, I agreed for the marriage, which we solemnised secretly to not hurt his family (read his wife), but his dad supported us and agreed to our alliance too.

It is almost 8 years now since our marriage, my hubby is loving towards me and my daughter, but the problem is he rarely stays with us at nights, he will come in daytime, stay for 4-5 hours, have dinner and leave. Some weekends only, he will stay.

Initially I thought with time, it would change, but it's almost 8 years now, but nothing has changed and if I ask him, why he does not stay he says, 'office is far away; difficult to reach on time due to traffic and stuff.'

Now, his whole family also knows about his marriage, then also he hardly gives us time and no one from his family contacts me or keeps in touch with me.

Since I have been independent most of my life (I don't have a dad, bro or sis), I never asked for money since he also has a family to support. He will never give any on his own, even when I am short, he keeps saying he is in a financial crunch, once business picks up, he will take care of my expenses too.

Since I am an only child, I wanted a kid with him, but he kept procrastinating that too, saying condition (financial) is not good right now; additional responsibilities will be an added burden for both of us.

I live in a rented flat, while his family has his own (parents' home to be precise).

My daughter is now almost 15, and understands quite a lot of things and has started disliking him. I am also at my wit's end now.

I am tired and frustrated most of the time, feeling stuck. Any amount of talking and discussion only leads to arguments, and when he calms down, he would say he would try and change his ways but nothing changes.

Please suggest what I am supposed to do now. Talking to him is out of question, it’s absolutely no use.

I am even thinking of divorce now, (it's) better to live alone than with someone who makes you feel lonely. But I am afraid for my daughter, her marriage, the divorcee tag again and (she) being a laughing stock to society and family again, I do not know what to do. Please help me!

Ans: Absolutely delighted to hear that you’ve landed a job. Your first step is a big one. Starting at Rs. 25,000 in hand, you’re not just earning—you’re building a future. Let’s break this down into clear action steps. My aim is to guide you like a Certified Financial Planner would, with a 360-degree plan for savings and smart investments.

I’ll help you understand what to do with your income, how to manage your spending, and how to multiply your savings over time.

Let’s begin with the most important areas.

Understand Your Cash Flow
First, track where every rupee goes.

Use a simple notebook or a mobile app.

Classify expenses: needs, wants, and savings.

Always aim to save before you spend.

Try to save 30% of your income each month.

That means at least Rs. 7,500 should be saved.

Build Your Emergency Fund
Start a separate bank savings account.

Keep Rs. 15,000 to Rs. 30,000 for emergencies.

This is not for shopping or vacation.

Only use it for medical or job-related problems.

Add a fixed amount monthly until you reach your goal.

Get Health Insurance Immediately
Your employer may offer one, but it is not enough.

Buy a personal health cover worth Rs. 3 lakh to Rs. 5 lakh.

Premiums are low for your age.

It protects your savings during illness.

Always disclose everything honestly while applying.

Term Insurance is Not Urgent Yet
You are single and just starting.

So, no need for term insurance now.

Take it only when you have dependents.

Focus instead on building assets and savings.

Automate Your Savings Process
Open a separate savings bank account for investments.

Set auto-transfer every month after salary credit.

This creates financial discipline automatically.

Don’t mix this with your spending account.

Treat savings as your monthly bill.

Start SIPs in Actively Managed Mutual Funds
Choose regular plans via a Certified Financial Planner.

They guide you with experience and research.

Don’t go for direct funds without guidance.

Direct funds need time, study, and ongoing monitoring.

Regular plans give you ongoing personalised support.

A CFP and MFD can help with fund switching also.

Benefits of Actively Managed Mutual Funds
Fund managers take decisions after market study.

Better for new investors like you.

Helps avoid sudden losses due to inexperience.

Higher chances of outperformance in long term.

Active funds adapt to market changes quickly.

Stay Away From Index Funds
Index funds follow market, no fund manager involved.

In bad markets, they also fall badly.

No one to protect or shift to safer assets.

No flexibility in difficult times.

Active funds manage risk better than index funds.

Choose SIPs with Proper Goal-Setting
Don't invest just for returns.

Invest with a goal in mind.

Examples: buy laptop, travel, marriage, house fund.

Assign timelines for each goal.

Choose funds based on time horizon and risk level.

Ideal Portfolio Mix for You
Equity mutual funds: Long-term wealth creation.

Hybrid mutual funds: Balance between growth and safety.

Recurring deposit or FD: For short-term needs.

Keep 2 or 3 funds only. Not more.

Don’t invest in random funds from friends or apps.

Avoid These Investment Mistakes
Don’t buy insurance for investment.

Don’t invest in LIC endowment or ULIPs.

They give low return and high lock-in.

No flexibility, no transparency.

Avoid chit funds and schemes from unknown sources.

Regularly Review Your Progress
Every 6 months, check your investments.

See if your savings rate is increasing.

Track how much emergency fund you have built.

Check if goals are getting closer.

A CFP can help you monitor and correct your path.

Build Skills to Increase Income
Savings alone won’t create wealth fast.

Improve your career skills also.

Take affordable online courses.

Ask for projects at work, build a reputation.

Better pay will give you higher savings later.

Budgeting Tips That Actually Work
Follow 50-30-20 rule: 50% needs, 30% wants, 20% savings.

For now, you may need to reverse it: 50% savings.

Use UPI apps for expense control alerts.

Don’t keep too much cash in hand.

Withdraw once a week, not daily.

Social Media Influencers are Not Financial Planners
Don’t follow random advice online.

Their needs are not your needs.

Your plan should match your goals, not theirs.

Stick to your savings plan strictly.

Professional advice is always better.

Avoid Loan Traps at Early Stage
Don’t take EMI cards or credit cards yet.

Start with a debit card linked to your bank.

Avoid monthly subscriptions that you forget.

Keep zero debt as long as possible.

Loans reduce your ability to save and invest.

Benefits of Investing via MFD with CFP Support
You get advice suited to your income level.

Fund selection is personalised.

Help is given for SIP starting, changes, withdrawals.

They help with taxes and switching too.

Your long-term success becomes their priority.

Don’t Fall for High Returns Promises
If someone offers 20% return, it’s risky.

Stable 10–12% return over years is good.

Compound growth needs patience.

Shortcuts often lead to losses.

Stay steady and grow slowly but surely.

Think Long Term, Act Monthly
Rs. 2,000 monthly SIP grows big in few years.

You will learn patience through SIP investing.

Don’t stop SIPs if market falls.

Use market fall as chance to grow faster.

Keep SIPs running without panic.

Protect Yourself from Tax Shocks Later
Equity mutual funds give tax benefit on long term.

LTCG above Rs. 1.25 lakh is taxed at 12.5%.

STCG is taxed at 20%.

For debt funds, all gains are taxed as per your slab.

So plan redemption properly.

Financial Independence Should Be Your Goal
Try to reach a stage where money works for you.

That needs slow and steady investing.

Once you reach Rs. 5 lakh corpus, add more SIPs.

With every hike, increase SIP by Rs. 500 to Rs. 1,000.

Build wealth step by step.

Stay Consistent, Not Perfect
You may skip saving in one month. That’s okay.

Don’t stop. Resume next month.

Track your progress, not your mistakes.

Stay focused on long term.

Small savings add up to big money later.

Finally
You have made a wonderful beginning.

Saving at Rs. 25,000 salary shows maturity.

With consistency, Rs. 7,500 monthly savings will create big wealth.

Stick to professionally managed mutual funds.

Don’t try shortcuts or risky bets.

Get support from a trusted Certified Financial Planner.

Learn, earn, save, invest, and grow at your own pace.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment