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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |300 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jun 27, 2024

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jun 22, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

I met guy on arrange marriage set up. We both are divorcee. We both talked for more than hour. I like the way he explained his work n personal. After the meeting my father called him whats his opinion on this he didn't respond, but i messaged for some doubts for technical things because we both work in same sector and i wanted to learn those new technology. For me he replies properly what i should think? Does he like me? Or its just he is helping me

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

It is difficult to tell what is going on in someone's mind and it is better not to assume. The best thing to do here would be to ask him directly. You are both adults. There is no harm in asking him if he likes you or if he sees any future with you. It would help you avoid misinterpretation and waste your time.

Best Wishes.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1162 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 13, 2022

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Relationship
Hi Anu, my story is quite big. I am 43 and I love a man of my caste who is 52. He is not married and my father had showed me his profile in 2006 for marriage. Those days I was not interested in marriage and so I rejected him. I saw his profile in March 2019 in matrimony and sent him interest and he gave me a reply. I fell in love with his profile in 2020 and further gave him reply on his mobile. I went to see him in Pune in 2020 October. Since then we have only been chatting on WhatsApp. When I asked for commitment in Feb 2021, he said his sister is not keeping well. Then he lost his father in August 2021. Earlier in 2020 he used to call me and we used to talk for hours. It all stopped in 2021 February when his sister fell sick. Now I stopped messaging him but he still keeps sending me some or other forwards. He says he wants to marry me (He said this Jan last year when I asked him if he is interested in marriage) but this year has been tough. I am really fed up of the delay. I still love him very much. He is very intelligent and professionally qualified and has good hobbies -- he is a Himalayan trekker and has sent me pics of his trek. He also encourages me to do many things but I am bored of the delay. Should I trust him and wait for him?
Ans:

Dear VG,

It looks likely that when you sent him your interest request, your feelings were from 2006. But hey, everyone has grown older and wiser since then.

Also, to expect him to have the same level of interest that you have, isn’t wise as he has led a different life to yours.

What happens is when we start our lives together when we are younger, we merge on a lot of ideals and thoughts.

When the same marriage/companionship/relationship happens when we are older, having had separate experiences and a different life, we might not have much in common in terms of thoughts and way of being in life.

Given that, have an honest chat with him face to face, and express what you want out of this connection.

Give him time to process his own life, his needs, his wants, his priorities and then get back to you.

If he is clearly not into this, no point waiting for him and tugging at your heart strings.

So the only way that I feel is to have a mature face to face talk where both of you have space to be assertive and communicate boldly. It will help both of you to decide what’s best.

All the best!

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |331 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 26, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 18, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
I am currently in my late 30s and i am unmarried. Currently i am chatting with a person whom i found on a matrimonial site but he is an introvert so i am.But is is extremely introvert he is not opening up completely its going to be one month since we are chatting. He calls me everyday.But he talks very formally.Does he has interest in me we are going to meet for a second time in a few days.Pls help.Should i marry him?
Ans: It's positive that you've been in communication for a month and that he makes an effort to call you every day. However, it's important to recognize that everyone has their own communication style, and being introverted doesn't necessarily mean a lack of interest. Some people take time to open up, especially in the early stages of getting to know someone. Introverts often prefer to think before they speak and may be more reserved in expressing their thoughts and feelings. If he is consistently reaching out and maintaining contact, it could be a sign of interest, even if the communication seems formal. Meeting in person can provide valuable insights into his personality. People may be more comfortable and expressive in person than they are online or over the phone. Pay attention to his body language, facial expressions, and overall demeanor during your second meeting. Encourage open communication by asking open-ended questions that invite him to share more about himself. This can help create a more relaxed and natural conversation If you feel comfortable, you might express to him that you would like to get to know him better and that you appreciate open and honest communication. This can create an environment where both of you feel more comfortable sharing. Before making any decisions about marriage, it's crucial to have open and honest conversations about your values, goals, and expectations for the future. Take the time to understand each other's personalities and communication styles, and assess whether you share common values and interests.

Remember, the decision to marry someone is significant, and it's important to feel a genuine connection and mutual understanding. If you have any doubts or concerns, it's advisable to address them before making any commitments.

..Read more

Shalini

Shalini Singh  |121 Answers  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Apr 17, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 16, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi Mam, I wanted to keep it anonymous. I am 26years old female, my parents are looking for a suitable alliance for me. They came with a proposal from a guy's family and they wanted to have a formal meet in a temple. We all met in the temple the guy's family looked good they talked in a nice manner myself and the guy had a seperate conversation. Before going his parents told that he is an introvert and wont speak much. while we went to talk i was the one asking him questions and he only replied for that and inturn asked me the same question. I am an extrovert so i did the most of the talking part i didnt wanted to make the convo boring without answering anything so i was coming up with new questions. We spoke for around 10-15mins and then went to the place where our parents were sitting, his parents asked me to tell the answer immediately but i told them that i will tell the decision once i reach home. His parnets talked to him seperately and asked him the decision and he said yes it seems. We left the temple then, after two days when my parents asked me what was my decision i told them that though he is a nice guy i cant see him as my partner and if were to marry him that would be for your happiness i will not be able to marry him whole heartedly was my answer, then my parents spoke to his parents and told that if you want to talk to him again meet him somewhere and then talk and decide. I thought okay lets give it a try and said yes, we met after a week in a cafe. He initially asked me about my work and then i asked the same after that again he didnt speak much, i always wanted my partner to speak and have fun conversation with me. Though its our second meet i wanted him to atleast talk little bit that the first one but he didnt do much talking part. I was again talking and we left after 30mins. My parents were trying to convince me a lot, i told them that my intuition doesn't work with this guy(I am firm believer of intuition i have been doing things based on my intuition only) but my parents were trying to convince me telling you dont know what you want we will only know what you want, you will be happy if you marry this guy. But my soul doesnt want to marry this guy it seems im not able to accept my parents convincing words. If i were to marry him that will only be my parents choice and not my choice. What should i do now?
Ans: Well, this conversation requires a discussion - but I will attempt responding based on what you have shared. You should know introverts take time in opening up...and that should be respected. Its possible when you know each other, he may still not open up with others, but with you he is talkative. What is bothersome here is you intuition, your 6th sense - which makes you uncomfortable - question it, why do you think that is the case. If I was in a similar situation I would have asked to meet this gentleman 3-4 times more - and would observe more and talk less :)....maybe listen more and ask fewer questions. If you do meet him ask him what is making him say yes. Let him know that it bothers you that he responds in short sentences. But after that play games together - from board games to games like 3 things you wish to have in your partner to 3 qualities you wish you partner works upon. You need to answer this as well. Ask him his 3 strengths and share yours, share personality traits you need to work on and ask his.....keep the conversations light and fun....and then question your intuition again...and if it does not agree then do what works for you. Make parents sit down and explain it to them without getting emotional or raising your voice. Hope this helps.

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Pradeep

Pradeep Pramanik  |174 Answers  |Ask -

Career And Placement Consultant - Answered on Sep 19, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 19, 2024
Career
Dear Mr Pradeep, how does one deal with workplace burnout? A young CA working for EY recently succumbed due to work pressure and no one from the office attended her funeral. Is this normal? What are your thoughts? What should one do in a situation like this? What is your advice to young professionals
Ans: Dear ,

You have raised a valid point which most of the young professionals are passing through. What a paradox in Indian context , at one hand,. public sector companies do have quite liberal working conditions and virtually No direct accountability to push your to the stress level to that high of opting for ending life. whereas in most private or proprietorship companies , right from reaching office in time to achieving the set objectives days after days , months after months keep on increasing. There is limit of tolerance of abusive behaviur or working styles , hence many find ways to move to other comanpies, some quite the job , some move out to other industries . There are many companies , why only talk about EY or IT sector companies ,I can give true exampples of BFSI/NBFCs/Telecom/ Industrial products companies / Real Estate cos/ FMCG/FMCD/Pharma cos where many avoid to opt for even when they are offered high packages , Reason, - High work pressure , abusive work conditions , Job Uncertainity , worst approach of top management . You are treated like slaves .
However taking own life as the CA at EY did was really heartwrenching . More so the approach of the management , After all a young talented girl . lost her life due to work pressure as mentiioned in her notes. To be honest , no one attending funeral from management side is not normal . In most cases some one represents management . May be, due to legal complications, Sr managers avoided attending the funeral . As far as my advice to young professionals is concerned , Be bold , take challenges as part of your life and when you feel . it is crossing your limits , You must expose the truth to top management as many a times , putting so much pressure on young professionals are the handiworks of Line managers or HR manager , which top management might not be aware about . She being a CA should not have any issues in finding another good paying job or even joining any CA firm as Sr manager taxation or in auditing. She should have fought back. You must have seen many army /police /CISF or Bank professionals commit suicide under work pressure which is really painful . One should fight back or find better options available than ending own life.

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Samraat

Samraat Jadhav  |2026 Answers  |Ask -

Stock Market Expert - Answered on Sep 19, 2024

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