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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |550 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Mar 19, 2025

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more
BITSMUN Question by BITSMUN on Feb 22, 2025
Relationship

I like a Girl quiet very much, I don't know her side of feelings for me. We both are in college and spend quiet good and long time like whole whole days whenever we plan, cafe hopping gossiping. I fear losing friendship if I outrightly propose her without knowing her side, how to know her side? Like if she likes me or not? I doubt she sees me as best friend only because, though we are quiet close but everytime hinting at some boys who like her she knows she has twice or thrice said, "No to any relationship for now" and she is mostly quiet clear in her mind about what she does not want.

Ans: Dear BITSMUN,
The only way to know for sure is to ask. Without verbal confirmation, there is never 100% surety. Other than that, there are signs if a person likes you romantically- it is more of a gut feeling. Did you ever feel she likes you more than a friend? When in doubt, use a hypothetical situation. Tell her to imagine that you two are dating and ask if she thinks you will make a good couple. See how she reacts. It should give you a rough idea. But the best method is still to be an adult and admit you have some feelings, but let her know that you won't pursue it if she doesn't feel the same way.
Hope this helps.

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Love Guru

Love Guru   |204 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on May 30, 2022

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Relationship
Hello Ma’am/Sir. I, Shivam Sharma. I want a suggestion for the problem I am facing right now. Before that I am going to share my story with you. It is about 2018 when I joined a gym near-by my house. I got a crush on a girl. She came with her sister and brother. I used to watch her in gym. Later I found that I love her. I have had her in my dreams. After some time I think she knows that I watched her in gym and got a crush on her. Then she, her sister started watching me every day and sometimes they smile sometimes they used to make a strange face like angry or something but I didn't understand at all (mixed reactions). All this went for a long time till 2020 before COVID-19. I know her Instagram and Facebook handle but I didn’t her send her a request becoz of reputation. Even I can't able to talk to her in gym becoz of reputation. After that I didn't get the time to join the gym till now. Now the situation is I joined the gym but still I got mixed reaction sometimes smile or strange or no reaction. I don't able to understand what is going on in her head. I really want something to happen but in a positive way. I really like this girl I want to spend my whole life with her. I want to marry. I want this to happen in 3 months becoz after that I will move to some other state for my further studies. I don't have enough time. Ma’am, please help me how can I approach her. How can I make her feel positive or to like me and relationship all. I can't able to understand what I am going to do.  Shivam
Ans:

Whoa, slow down Romeo!

Just seeing a girl in the gym is different from spending the rest of your life with her.

Please be a little practical...you know NOTHING about her. So I’d suggest that you make a move to get to know her first, because you haven’t for three years!

And stop building her up so much in your head, it’s not healthy.

You’re obsessed with someone you don’t know. Go up to her and her sister in the gym, introduce yourself and maybe ask them both out for coffee after your workout session and get acquainted first.

You can think of marriage when you’re dating a person, not when you don’t even know her name! 

..Read more

Love Guru

Love Guru   |204 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on Oct 07, 2022

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Relationship
Dear love guru, Hope u are doing well.  This story starts in 2018 when I was in my 12th. I had a huge crush on this junior girl. This girl is very intelligent and she used to get very high marks. So I took that as an inspiration and started working very hard on my academics. I started to read like a maniac and that worked and I got seat in a very prestigious college hoping she would get the seat in the same college but unfortunately she got seat in other state. I was disappointed. I was shy and never talked to her in my 12th and thought I lost my chance of talking to her ever again. But fortunately after a year, I found her insta and mustered my courage to chat with her.  Although it was awkward initially, we became good friends (I guess so) and used to chat almost daily. She is really a charmer and she chats so nicely. She is a great friend but I never had courage to say about my feelings. She used to talk about her friends, her new college and her cats and so many things about herself and as I am her senior, I used to guide her and talk about my daily experiences. We had great time talking to each other on insta, WhatsApp and even snapchat. Heck we have a Spotify playlist Collab and she even included me in her private Instagram account as a close friend (u know that girls do have spam accounts for close friends) and I was wondering whether I'm just another friend or close friend or anything more.  This continued like for many months and we chatted very well in the lockdown. I never met her or called her, we just chatted( I'm a shy guy and not so good at talking to girls). Feelings aside, she became a really good friend to me and I don't have many friends. I never said her about my feelings, fearing it would destroy this great friendship I was having. But recently she was not responding properly to my chats( I never misbehaved in the chat ). I do believe she is seeing a guy whom she met recently but I don't know whether that is a relationship or just friendship.  I was disappointed but hey it's her life and I was u know just continuing my life feeling sad sometimes or just trying to forget about her. And recently she completely avoided my messages and I was so hurt(I do have some self-respect right). U could say this as a one side love story. But this is so hard. After all she is my first love and this started affecting my academics. Should I move on or should I just continue trying to talk to her so that hopefully she will talk to me like she used to before. I don't have any problem continuing but sometimes I feel what's the purpose since it is going nowhere.  Please give me any valuable suggestion. Sorry for the long story Thank you  
Ans:

You've enjoyed a mainly online relationship; there's a lot more to things than that.

There is definitely a reason why she's not responding to your messages anymore and it could be anything -- maybe you came on too strong, maybe she's met someone else, maybe her new boyfriend is from the Stone Age and doesn't like her interacting with other male friends.

I would suggest writing her one last message to the effect that you miss your friend, you don't know why she has begun avoiding you and, at the very least, if she wants to discontinue contact she should have the courtesy of letting you know that, along with the reason why.

See if she responds.

If she doesn't, take that as a very strong and clear signal in itself that she wants nothing to do with you anymore and doesn't have manners either. In which case I would strongly suggest you cease all contact as well.

If she does show some courtesy and reply, see if what she has to say can be addressed.

And all things considered, don't be too heartbroken about this. There are many great girls out there for you to start anew with -- in person perhaps, this time around!

 

..Read more

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |550 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Mar 19, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 02, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
Hello sir/ma'am...i am a girl of 21 yrs and my bf 24yrs.We met each other through an online friendly chat app.Since 1yr,we r chatting,video and voice calls.He told me,he loves me and wanna marry me.I too liked him and I took the matter to my parents and they agreed for our marriage also.I made him talk to my parents.He didn't still let this matter know to his parents.Recently,without my permission..my cousin sis took his insta id and chatted with him like an unknown girl for fun.She created an account in insta and sent a request to him n he accepted that request and continued chatting with her.She told him like she saw his profile and interested and so given a request.He was asking her for voice call,video call,but she didn't accept.She sent some other picture when he insisted her pic and later he asked her "do u like me" for which she funnily replied love at first sight and love you.He told her he want to express his love to her in voice call and later he too proposed..she showed all those screen shots to me. I am broken.I questioned him what is all this?...for which he replied...he just chatted to find out whether that account was a fake account or real account...but,the screen shots were showing something different..when my cousin called him bro..he was very upset and scolded her too. Now,he saying he thought it's a fake boy id and wanted to make fun of and even fought with me saying i don't trust him and without his acceptance..i gave his id to my cousin..but,i havent given.. He is saying he wanted to test whether it is a fake or a real account and so he made fun off and didn't mean it and that too just chatting it is n not to take it seriously and he loves me much.. I am confused after this whether to proceed for marriage..he isthe first guy and love in my life...should i believe him or let him go or should i give him one more chance?..please give u r advice..thank you
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am so sorry that you are in this situation. While I can't make a decision for you, I can help you by pointing out how this looks like from an outsider's perspective- your BF's interactions with this profile do not really support his claim of "just testing if it's a fake account." It seems like he was interested in chatting and continuing the flirty conversations. This does not mean he is in love with the person behind that online profile, but it surely looks like he can go behind your back for some thrill.

Trust and honesty are two very important things in a relationship, and if you are planning on getting married, this is not a good start. Moreover, his getting angry at you upon confrontation is a red flag- he tried to gaslight you.
It's your choice whether you want to leave or give him another chance but before you make a decision in haste, ask yourself-
1) If he loves you, would he flirt with someone or even chat with a stranger for entertainment?
2) Would you do the same to him?
3) Is he taking responsibility and asking for forgiveness?
4) Can you trust him completely after this or would you always keep wondering if he is cheating on you?
Once you answer these honestly, I think you will know what's the right thing to do.

Hope this helps.

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8111 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Mar 19, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 17, 2025Hindi
Money
I am 39 years old and my wife is 38 working and my son is 7 years. I earn 35LPA my wife 15LPA. I started with zero as from a young age I took care of my parents by paying tuition and funded by my education. I completed engineering and started paying off my education loan from my first day of work. 2015 I got married and in 2016 we bought our first house. I moved my parents there and I take care of them they are financially dependent on me and I have a 4L health insurance for them. The first house is now worth 55L and I have paid off this loan. We built our 2nd house its worth around 1.2 crore and I have a loan of 70 lakhs left. I have a plot worth 30L which I have bought. I have 40L in MF and stocks, I do SIP of 1Lakh per month ( XIRR was good at 20% but now it's at 13%). I have 20L in gold and 10L in EPF. I have a 1cr term insurance and I do Jeevan umang of 4L per year started last year and Jeevan tarun for my son for 1.5L per year started 2 years ago and I have 40k of Jeevan anand started in 2011 for 25 years. My fear : My parents were dependent on me, and I had nothing to fall back on when I started my career. I do not want to be the same for my son. I want to be financially self-reliant when he starts his career and his life. I want to ensure that he doesn't worry about us when he starts his work life or if he wants to start a business, he has the freedom to do so. I have 15 years left in my career. I want to make sure my wife is also secured if I am not around. My questions is what can I do more to ensure we are financially well off?
Ans: You earn Rs. 35 LPA, and your wife earns Rs. 15 LPA.

You support your parents financially and have Rs. 4L health insurance for them.

Your first house is worth Rs. 55L and is fully paid off.

Your second house is worth Rs. 1.2 crore with a Rs. 70L loan.

You own a plot worth Rs. 30L.

Your investments include Rs. 40L in mutual funds and stocks.

You invest Rs. 1L per month in SIPs.

You have Rs. 20L in gold and Rs. 10L in EPF.

Your term insurance is Rs. 1 crore.

You have investment-linked insurance policies.

Your goal is financial independence for yourself and your family. You want to ensure your son does not have financial burdens when he starts his career.

Strengths in Your Financial Planning
You have built wealth despite challenges.

Your high savings rate helps in wealth accumulation.

Your SIPs give long-term compounding benefits.

Your first home is debt-free, providing stability.

Your gold holdings offer liquidity in emergencies.

Your EPF provides retirement security.

Your term insurance gives financial protection.

Areas That Need Improvement
Your insurance-linked policies are not wealth creators.

Your home loan is a major liability.

Your gold holdings may not generate high returns.

Your current insurance cover may not be enough.

Your parents’ health cover might be inadequate.

Your son’s education and future needs require better planning.

Steps to Strengthen Financial Security
Increase Term Insurance Cover
A Rs. 1 crore cover is low given your income and liabilities.

You should have a cover of at least 15 times your annual income.

Increase your term insurance to Rs. 2.5 crore for full protection.

Ensure your wife has her own term cover as well.

Reassess Your Insurance-Linked Investments
Traditional insurance policies offer low returns.

They do not provide inflation-beating growth.

Surrendering them and shifting to mutual funds is a better option.

This will give higher returns and better flexibility.

Pay Off Your Home Loan Strategically
Your home loan balance of Rs. 70L is a major liability.

Focus on repaying it within the next 5-7 years.

Increasing EMI payments or making part prepayments can help.

Avoid extending the tenure to reduce interest burden.

Optimise Your Mutual Fund Investments
Your SIP of Rs. 1L per month is a strong wealth-building tool.

XIRR of 13% is still a good return for long-term investing.

Ensure your portfolio has a mix of large-cap, flexi-cap, and small-cap funds.

Actively managed funds will help in capturing market opportunities.

Avoid index funds as they limit potential gains.

Strengthen Your Parents’ Health Insurance
Rs. 4L health cover for them may not be enough.

Increase their health insurance to Rs. 10L with a super top-up plan.

This will prevent financial stress in case of medical emergencies.

Plan for Your Son’s Education and Future
Higher education costs are rising rapidly.

Start a dedicated mutual fund portfolio for his education.

Avoid insurance-linked child plans as they offer poor returns.

SIPs in equity funds can provide high returns over 10-15 years.

Ensure flexibility in investments to support his career or business plans.

Secure Your Wife’s Financial Future
Your wife should have her own investments independent of you.

Ensure she has adequate insurance and retirement savings.

Consider joint ownership of assets for financial security.

Encourage her to invest in equity mutual funds for wealth creation.

Retirement Planning and Wealth Creation
You have 15 years left in your career.

Focus on accumulating at least Rs. 10-12 crore for retirement.

This will ensure financial independence and a secure future.

Continue SIPs and increase them whenever income grows.

Diversify into debt funds for stability in later years.

Systematic withdrawal plans (SWP) will help manage post-retirement cash flow.

Finally
Increase your term insurance for full protection.

Reallocate funds from low-return insurance policies to mutual funds.

Focus on clearing your home loan early.

Strengthen health insurance for your parents.

Create a dedicated fund for your son’s education.

Ensure your wife has financial security even in your absence.

Keep investing for long-term wealth creation and retirement security.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8111 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Mar 19, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 17, 2025Hindi
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Money
Hello Sir - I have taken a HDFC Unit Linked pension plan in 2008 and the fund value is approx. 49 lakhs. The policy matures in 2030 and allows for commutation of 1/3rd of fund value (with mandatory annuity for balance 67%). My HDFC Life Relationship manager is suggesting that he will transfer the proceeds of this fund to a new HDFC Smart life pension plan (via surrender of old policy and immediate reinvestment as single premium in the new policy) for a term of 5 years. At the vesting date, I will be allowed to remove 60% of the fund value as tax free commuted pension and will need to take annuity only for remaining 40% of fund value. This is beneficial for me (since tax free commutation will be 60% instead of current 33%). In such a case, will the surrender of old policy and immediate reinvestment into new smart pension plan be a taxable transaction in India? I have claimed 80CCC benefits for part of premiums paid in the past. HDFC has informed me that the surrender value will not be taxable as no amount is received by me and the full amount is reinvested into the new policy (HDFC will also not do TDS). Is this correct? Thanks for your advice.
Ans: You have invested in a unit-linked pension plan since 2008.

The current fund value is Rs. 49 lakhs.

The plan matures in 2030.

As per the policy, you can withdraw 33% tax-free and the rest must be used for annuity.

Your relationship manager is suggesting surrender and reinvestment into a new pension plan.

The new plan allows 60% tax-free withdrawal instead of 33%.

You need to evaluate whether this switch is beneficial from a taxation and financial perspective.

Taxation on Surrender of Old Pension Plan
Pension plans under section 80CCC get tax benefits during investment.

If you surrender, the surrender value is taxable as per your income slab.

HDFC claims that no tax will apply as the amount is reinvested directly.

However, as per income tax laws, surrendering a pension plan leads to taxation.

Even if reinvested, the surrender value is added to taxable income.

Since you have claimed 80CCC benefits, surrendering can result in tax liability.

Misconception About Tax-Free Transfer
HDFC is not deducting TDS, but that does not mean no tax is due.

Income tax liability exists even if the amount is not received in hand.

If tax authorities later verify, you may face penalties or additional taxes.

You need written confirmation from HDFC and a tax expert’s opinion.

Evaluating the New Pension Plan Offer
The new plan allows 60% withdrawal instead of 33%.

The remaining 40% must still go into annuity.

Annuity income is fully taxable every year.

The new plan has additional charges, which can reduce returns.

The lock-in period of 5 years restricts flexibility.

If your goal is wealth creation, better options exist.

Should You Switch to the New Plan?
The tax-free withdrawal of 60% seems attractive, but consider the surrender tax.

If you are in the highest tax bracket, surrendering can be costly.

Locking funds in another pension plan reduces flexibility.

Instead, investing in mutual funds can give higher returns and better control.

You can withdraw systematically without annuity restrictions.

Reinvesting in a pension plan limits future financial choices.

Better Alternatives for Retirement Planning
Instead of shifting to another pension plan, consider equity mutual funds.

Mutual funds allow withdrawals with lower tax impact than annuities.

Debt mutual funds provide stability while maintaining flexibility.

Systematic withdrawal plans (SWP) help manage retirement income efficiently.

Combining equity and debt investments gives better post-retirement security.

What Should Be Your Next Steps?
Consult a tax expert before surrendering your pension plan.

Get written confirmation from HDFC on taxation treatment.

Compare annuity income vs. mutual fund withdrawals for retirement.

Ensure flexibility in withdrawals rather than locking into another pension plan.

Build a diversified portfolio that balances risk and liquidity.

Finally
Surrendering your pension plan may trigger tax liability.

Reinvesting in another pension plan may not be the best financial decision.

You need flexibility and better returns for retirement.

Mutual funds offer tax-efficient and high-growth alternatives.

Evaluate all options before making a final decision.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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