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Anu Krishna  |839 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 19, 2023

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - May 18, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

I have everything except children. My problem is not not having children, but my health, which always gives me some problem or the other and have to visit a doctor at least once or twice a month. There is no permanent disease, but pains all over, especially in the chest area, which worries me a lot. I worry for my spouse. I am trying to divert my attention from work and trying to go for social service, but unable to find any near to my area.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
At times, over thinking about ill-health can cause you to really become ill. If the doctor felt that there was something serious, he/she would have in one of your visits mentioned it to you.
If you still feel anxious, get an annual health check-up done to satisfy your mind. If something shows up, the doctor will advice you further.

In the meantime, to calm your nerves, take to meditation, journaling....these stimulate the mind and body keeping working together in harmony.
Also, join trekking, jogging and more which will expose you to a group. Group activities can again help bring you back to the present moment and there is a good level of camaraderie that will keep you feeling light and happier.

Do search for some place to become a volunteer where you can serve and realize how blessed and fortunate you are. Fear is a story that becomes believable and that is what you have convinced yourself of...

All the best!

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Anu Krishna  |839 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 06, 2021

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First of all I would like to remain anonymous. As the world is happy with work from home I am not. It's been a year since my marriage but each day I desperately wait for offices to open so I can shift with my husband to another place and live independently. It's not like in laws trouble me or something; on the contrary they are good. But I feel suffocated. I am supposed to look after my sister in law's son which is the main reason for my depression. I've been through legitimate depression so I know when I am going through it. Now sister in law is moving abroad leaving her son to permanently live with us! I can't Anu I just can't. I am postponing having my own kid because I want to live an independent happy life at least for few years with my husband without the responsibility of a child. But I don't remember a single day after my marriage without a child in between. It's not like I don't love that child; I do. I just don't want to take responsibility of him and it's not even fair to ask of me that right. I am not happy. I really want to be. Please help me please.
Ans: Dear T, Simply be assertive and put your foot down.

Sometimes people do not respect boundaries till they are made aware that there are boundaries.

Supporting your sister-in-law to care for her son on a few occasions as the boy’s aunt is a great thing but playing the boy’s mom is not what you need to sign up for! And what you haven’t signed up for, isn’t something that you need to follow through.

Take charge, if you don’t someone else will as they already have; almost assuming that anything is fine with you.

The boy isn’t your responsibility and for anyone to assume that is unnecessary.

This has gone on because you have allowed it and if you want it to stop, you simply have to say it; support or no support from anyone.

Your happiness is how you want to experience; so create that accordingly…on your terms…without being rude, but by being frank and calm.

Play this situation over and over in your mind and how you will be assertive with them.

When the mind is prepared and rehearses this repeatedly, and then when the real situation plays out, your mind is already ready to support you.

Even if you have felt hesitant up until now, this mind training should hold you in good stead.

Take charge NOW! Best wishes.

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Asked by Anonymous - Jan 23, 2024Hindi
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My daughter is 10 years old, she dnt want to study at all.we forced her to study then she learned as I am also a working women and her father is in abroad. So, we arrange one home tutor and in evening I taught her also. I explained all subjects throughly to understand her basics. At that time only she studied otherwise she didn't want to study by her own. She always need a pressure for studies due to this her marks are not good at all. She is an average student. Pls suggest what to do?
Ans: Hi!!
A working mother, husband working abroad, there is only so much you can do. Spend quality time with your daughter, bond with her on stuff other than studies, that brings happiness to both of you.
If you as a mother know your child's potential then, this should be good. You are saying she is an average student then set a certain percentage that she can score, when she scores that much then celebrate it. Let her live a balanced life, right amount of time spent on studies and other skills. Expose her to other skills like, music, sports, debating, story telling... she will soon discover something where she excels!!

Set a time for studies, let her study during that time and rest of the time don't keep talking about studies, discuss and do something else. Explain to her why studying is important, make gaining knowledge, studying a rewarding experience. Every child comes with their set of strengths and success. As a mother cherish your child and enjoy your time together. Your child is unique, do not compare her with anyone else.
Inspire her to be happy, healthy and knowledgeable by you being so!!

Happy Parenting! Best wishes

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The average salary for an interior designer in India varies by experience and company, starting from entry level with less than three years of experience earning an average salary of ?2.6 lakhs per year; mid-career between 4–9 years of experience earns an average salary of ?4.5 lakhs per year; experienced: 10–20 years of experience earns an average salary of ?7.1 lakhs per year; independent: ?50,000–1 lakh per month or more; and top companies can pay ?22–24 lakhs per year on average, up to ?44 lakhs per year with relevant experience as well.

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Leadership, HR Expert - Answered on May 06, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 17, 2024Hindi
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What should I do I have cgpa 6.1 in btech now till sem 3rd year ,1st sem. Currently I'm in 3rd year. So , i should prepare for upsc civil services or UPSC engineering services.
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Image Coach, Soft Skills Trainer - Answered on May 06, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 23, 2024Hindi
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Hello Madam, My daughter is 12 yr old and is in class 7th. She is not at all interested in studies. She is also not interested in making new friends. She is always busy on playing games on mobile. Studies just one week prior to exams. Her behavior is also becoming rude day by day. Kindly suggest.
Ans: Hello!!
The addiction to mobile after COVID is a menace every parent is facing. The good part is she is aware about her exams and studies at least one week before her exams.

The rude behaviour, lack of focus on studies is all stemming from the mobile games. They are highly addictive and the thrill they give is beyond imagination. Slowly but surely you have to take away the mobile from her, that's the only way to help her look for other sources to keep her busy .Friends, new skills and studies will get her attention only when the mobile is away.

Allocate time for food, sleep, studies, play time and also mobile time( can't just take away the mobile, has to be weaned away from it gradually), in a day. Set a timer for the mobile usage, she has to return the mobile as soon as the timer bell rings.

Pls remember you are the adult here, she is just a child. Guide her, lead her towards better and interesting things to do. You all as a family have to stop sitting with the mobile, start reading books ,play board games , learn a new skill, sing songs, cook together, bake together, you make everything at home an interesting activity, joyful activity, why will a child sit on the mobile?
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I am U VENKATESWARA RAO Retired Office Superintendent in BSNL on VRS I am 62 years old. No time pass. Can I have any WFH job? I have passed B.Com with Tyewriting English Higher grade during 1981-1982.
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my son is 8 year old studying in Class 3 . The classes occus is in Second shift from 11.30 am to 5.30 PM . after comming from the scholl he tired and not able to study in night . plz suggest the Correct time table for the second shift school child so that we can manage his tireness and keep improving him in balanced way.
Ans: Hello Saket!!

It is unfair to expect a child all of 08 to come back home from school late in the evening and study(I am assuming he is home by 6.30 PM). You can shift his study time to the morning hours, say from 8 to 10 AM.

Now to manage his well being after coming back from school.
Take care of the following-
1. it's a good time to introduce time management to your 8yr old son
2. on a Sunday when both of you are relatively free, involve him to make a time table for studies. Stick the time table in a place where it is visible to him
3.let him relax for an hr after coming back from school
4.if you assume 10 PM is his sleeping time( the child needs 9-12 hrs of sleep), and 7:45 PM is dinner time, some where between dinner time and sleeping time, see if you can manage a little bit of HW/studies
5. there is so much happening at school apart from studies, he is developing - social skills, coping mechanism, developing new ideas ,etc....let home be a place where he is loved, nourished and a place to relax and rejuvenate
6. have fixed time to study and make him study during those hours.

You cannot be rigid, every child's requirements are different try out what suits you and your family!!

Happy parenting!!

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Ravi Mittal  |187 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on May 06, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 30, 2024Hindi
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Hi I am 27 M. I am a introverted person but not that much I love meeting new people, party, travelling etc. But Whenever I try to talk with any girl I forgot everything that I want to express and also feels bit nervous and shy. So many thoughts are in my mind but I am unable to express that in front of others, I simply forgot. How can I improve my communication skills with other girls and feel confident about myself.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

What you are facing is very common. The first step is to remember that you are not alone. Even the best of us face it. Second, have you tried dating apps? There is no speaking face to face, which substantially helps with the nervousness. You can chat with people for days before you even decide to meet them in person. You can also attract the people who can perfectly match your vibe, making it easier for you to feel more comfortable and relaxed with them.

Other than that, here are few tips you can try-

Start small. Start with small talks. You don't need to have a full blown conversation in the very first attempt. Say Hi, smile, or ask her about her day. If you feel shy to speak, master the art of listening. Women love a man who can actively listen. Third, be genuine and be yourself. The more you pretend to impress a girl, the trickier it can be to keep up the act. Moreover, you will be preoccupied with your pretense and won't focus on the quality of the conversation. Be you. Fourth, learn from your experience. Good or bad, experiences can teach us a lot. Reflect on the past conversations; the ones that went well and ones that didn't. Identify what worked and what needs improvement. And lastly, be patient. Building confidence can take a while. Not all of us are naturally blessed with it. Some of us have to work for it. But in the end, it will be worth your while.

Best Wishes.

...Read more

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