Hi Anu, We have been married for close to 8 years (2014). Had our first princess in 2015 and second princess in 2019. Before having the second one, my wife had a very good sex drive both mentally and physically.
We were having intercourse for at least 3 times a week. But over a period of 3 years after our second child being born, my wife has lost interest.
Sex has been like may be once in 30 to 45 days. I am not forcing her but rather trying my best to have those intimate moments like hugging tightly, kissing her, do a little bit of smooching, try to touch and kiss on sensitive areas like belly, feet, ear. But nothing is working and this desperateness is killing me inside.
I need your advice on this.
How do I ensure that my urge is satisfied?
In what way do I engage my wife to have intimate moments and intercourse? This however should not come at the cost of hurting or pressurising her for my needs.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Your confusion is understandable. It is not everyone’s cup of tea. Some people do opt for an open relationship but the most important thing for that to work is that both the partners are on board with it. In your case, you are not. So I would suggest you be honest about your feelings here and let him know that you are not comfortable with open marriage. See what he says. I would also urge you to rethink this marriage and be very cautious about whatever you decide.

Hope this helps.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
There can be various reasons behind this: for starters, maybe she is trying to be honest and transparent with you. Second, you might be right and she is actually trying to make you feel jealous. People can sometimes feel a lack of attention in a relationship and resort to different ways of gaining it. The best thing that you can do here is talk to her about it. Have an open conversation about how this makes you feel and also ask her why she always tells you about it. If she says that it is her being honest; there you go, you have your answer. If she admits that she is trying to make you jealous, then you need to have a deeper conversation about why she feels the need to do so, and where you or the relationship is lacking.

Hope this helps

Ans: She needs to show interest in HR in the intervi3w. She can go through online tutorials online regarding HR. Also form opinion about polinies regarding HR in her college, etc. Can read articles on HR to get more perspective

Ans: Kartikeya, You are from UP. I'm curious to know—what draws you to SASTRA in Thanjavur, TN? Do you have specific reasons? Northern India offers excellent alternatives like LPU, Thapar, Galgotias, Amity, GLA, and Sharda, many accepting ISC marks too.

Apply to 6-7 more reputed colleges as backup options instead of relying only on Sastra & Government Institutions. Consider a drop only if you're confident of the 95+ percentile next year. All the BEST for Your Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

Ans: Mohit, No, there's no specific Kashmiri Migrant quota in NITs. JoSAA rules (official bulletins) mention only HS/OS, categories like OBC/SC/ST/EWS/PwD—no KM supernumerary seats listed for NITs. CSAB special rounds handle it for some GFTIs/state seats, but not NITs across India. Additional Kashmiri-Migrant seats are not guaranteed in every NIT, but some institutes in the NIT+ system do offer supernumerary KM seats, usually filled through CSAB Supernumerary or institute-specific processes. To know exactly where you can claim a Kashmiri Migrant benefit in a given year, you must check: JoSAA Business Rules for the particular year, CSAB Supernumerary information brochure + seat matrix, and Each NIT’s / institute’s (or your preferred NITs') admission brochure (they clearly mention if KM seats exist). All the BEST for Your Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

Ans: He will need to be assessed by a developmental pediatrician
His total screentime should be maximum of 1 hour in divided slots. Read books to him. Show him picture cards, charts with pictures and repeat words to him.

Ans: You have taken a Loan Against Property of Rs 36.50 lakh. First, I appreciate that you are checking the legal and financial side carefully. That shows responsibility.

Now let us understand clearly.

» Is Property Insurance Mandatory for Loan Against Property?

– Legally, property insurance is not compulsory under Indian law.
– But practically, most banks including HDFC Bank insist on insuring the property.
– It is usually mentioned in the loan agreement as a condition.

So technically it is not a government rule. But contractually, the bank can make it compulsory.

Why? Because the property is the security for your loan.

» Why Bank Insists on Property Insurance

– The property is pledged to the bank.
– If there is fire, flood, earthquake or major damage, the value reduces.
– If the property is damaged badly, the bank’s security becomes weak.

Insurance protects both you and the bank.

So from risk management point of view, it is practical and sensible.

» Is It Mandatory to Buy Insurance From the Same Bank?

– No bank can force you to buy insurance only from their partner company.
– You are free to choose any general insurance company.
– You only need to assign the policy in favour of the bank.

If bank is forcing bundled insurance, you can politely request separate policy.

» What Type of Insurance Is Needed?

For mortgage loan, usually:

– Structure insurance (building insurance) is required.
– Contents insurance is optional but useful.

If it is an apartment:

– The society may already have a master policy.
– Still, individual unit insurance is better.

Do not confuse this with loan protection insurance (life cover). That is different.

» Should You Take It Even If Not Forced?

Yes, I strongly recommend taking it.

Why?

– Property is a large asset.
– One accident can destroy years of savings.
– Premium is very small compared to property value.

It is not an expense. It is protection.

» Check These Points Carefully

– Insured value should match reconstruction cost, not market value.
– Natural calamities must be covered.
– Policy should be renewed every year without fail.
– Bank clause (assignment clause) must be correctly mentioned.

Do not ignore renewal. If policy lapses, risk comes back to you.

» 360 Degree Protection View

Since you have a loan:

– Ensure you have adequate term insurance to cover outstanding loan.
– Ensure you have proper health insurance.
– Maintain emergency fund for EMI continuity.

If something happens to income, EMI must not suffer.

Property insurance protects asset.
Term insurance protects family.
Emergency fund protects EMI discipline.

All three together create safety.

» Finally

Property insurance may not be legally compulsory, but practically it is required and financially wise.

Do not see it as bank pressure. See it as risk control.

A small premium today can prevent a huge financial shock tomorrow.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

Ans: You have built a very strong foundation at 43. Own house without loan, good savings in FD, gold, EPF and mutual funds – this shows discipline and stability. Many people at your age struggle with liabilities. You are in a safe position. Now we must organise it properly for your child’s higher education, marriage and your retirement.

» Current Financial Position – Overall Assessment

– Own house without loan gives you emotional security.
– Total financial assets are well diversified across FD, gold, PF and mutual funds.
– Large allocation to FD and gold gives safety but lower long-term growth.
– Mutual fund exposure is moderate and SIP is healthy at Rs 44,000 per month.
– Term cover of Rs 50 lakh is on the lower side considering child age and future costs.

You are financially stable. Now the focus must shift to growth and protection.

» Child Higher Education – 2 to 4 Year Planning Window

Your child is already 16. That means higher education funding is very near.

– Education corpus should not depend on equity-heavy assets now.
– Avoid taking high risk in small and mid caps for this goal.
– Start segregating money required in next 2–3 years into safe instruments like short-term debt or high-quality fixed income.
– Do not disturb EPF and NPS for education unless absolutely necessary.

If needed, you can use part of FD and bank balance. Education goal is priority one.

Important: Avoid selling equity mutual funds in panic. If you sell equity funds:
– LTCG above Rs 1.25 lakh is taxed at 12.5%.
– STCG is taxed at 20%.

Plan redemption carefully and gradually.

» Child Marriage – Long-Term Goal (8–12 Years)

Marriage is not urgent. So this can stay in growth assets.

– Continue SIP.
– You are currently investing across multicap, midcap, smallcap and large-midcap. That is fine for long term.
– But review allocation. Too much mid and small cap increases volatility.

Keep marriage goal in a separate mutual fund bucket. Track it independently.

» Retirement Planning – The Most Important Goal

You are 43. You have around 15–17 years for retirement.

Current retirement assets:
– EPF Rs 27.5 lakh
– NPS Rs 9 lakh
– PPF Rs 5 lakh
– Mutual Funds Rs 14 lakh

This is a decent start but not enough for long retirement life.

You must:

– Increase retirement-focused equity allocation gradually.
– Continue EPF contribution strongly.
– Continue NPS for tax and discipline, but do not depend fully on it.
– Increase SIP gradually every year, at least 5–10% step-up.

At your age, growth is still required. Too much FD and gold will reduce long-term wealth creation.

» Asset Allocation Correction

Current allocation shows heavy weight in:

– FD Rs 44 lakh
– Gold Rs 40 lakh

Gold and FD together form a very large portion. Gold does not give income. FD gives safety but post-tax returns are moderate.

Suggestion:

– Do not exit gold fully. Keep reasonable allocation.
– Slowly reduce excess FD over next few years and move towards diversified equity mutual funds for long-term goals.
– Keep emergency fund of 6–9 months in bank and FD. Beyond that, excess idle cash should work harder.

» Insurance Review

Term cover of Rs 50 lakh is low.

– Considering child age and inflation in education, you should review and increase total term cover.
– Aim for at least 10–12 times annual income protection.

Health insurance is not mentioned. If not adequate, increase family floater coverage.

» Risk Management & Behaviour Discipline

– Do not frequently change funds based on market noise.
– Review once a year.
– Keep goals separated mentally and financially.

Your SIP structure is good. Just rebalance and align with time horizon.

» Tax Awareness

– Equity mutual fund gains above Rs 1.25 lakh (long term) are taxed at 12.5%.
– Short term gains are taxed at 20%.
– Debt fund gains are taxed as per slab.

So plan withdrawals smartly. Do not redeem in one single financial year if avoidable.

» Action Plan – Next 12 Months

– Separate education corpus immediately.
– Increase term insurance.
– Gradually rebalance FD surplus into long-term mutual funds.
– Step-up SIP yearly.
– Create clear written retirement number target.
– Review NPS asset allocation to ensure enough equity exposure.

» Finally

You are not late. You are actually ahead in discipline and savings. Only re-alignment is required.

Education funding needs safety now.
Marriage needs growth.
Retirement needs structured and increasing equity exposure.

If you implement these corrections calmly, you can achieve all three goals without stress.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

Ans: 01. You should file your ITR by calculating your LTCG with Indexation, which may work out to be in loss. In such a situation, you don't have to pay any taxes.
02. However for your kind information, you can plan your LTCG & reduce tax liability by purchasing/investing your LTCG in Residential House.
Most Welcome for further clarifications, if any. Thanks.