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Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7510 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 02, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Yuvaraj Question by Yuvaraj on May 02, 2024Hindi
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Dear Sir, I am Yuvaraj Natarajan. Have invested in the following SIP's. 1. Axis Mid Cap Fund - 5000 2. ICICI Prudential Bluechip large Cap Fund -5000 3. Mirae Asset ELSS Tax Saver Fund - 5000 4. Motilal Oswal Midcap Fund - 5000 5. SBI Small Cap Fund - 5000 6. Tata Focesed Equtiy Fund -3000 28k/month. To accumulate 75L+ in the next 10 years are these the correct ones. Please advise.

Ans: Yuvaraj, good on you for taking charge of your future! Six SIPs, that's a well-diversified basket, like a wise investor carrying a basket of exotic fruits – a good mix for long-term growth!

It's fantastic that you have a clear goal – accumulating 75 lakhs in 10 years. While predicting the market perfectly is like trying to hold on to a monsoon cloud, your chosen SIPs seem like a good starting point.

Here's the thing: To reach your mountain peak, you might need a map and a guide. A certified financial planner can be your financial Sherpa! They'll analyze your SIPs (a mix of mid, large, small-cap, and ELSS – that's comprehensive!), your risk tolerance, and suggest any adjustments needed to reach your summit.

Remember, a 10-year horizon gives your investments time to weather ups and downs. Stay focused, keep those SIPs flowing, and with careful planning, you might just reach your 75 lakh target and celebrate with a taste of those exotic fruits from your investment basket!
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

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Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 27, 2024

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Hello sir, i am 32 years old and just started a SIP investment of 7K per month for the following funds for wealth creation for next 10 - 15 years. Core portfolio (60%) 1. Parag Parikh flexicap fund - 1.5K 2. JM Flexicap - 2K 3. Navi Nifty 50 - 0.5K Satellite portfolio (40%) 1. Kotak Emerging Equity Fund - 0.8K 2. JM Midcap fund - 1K 3. Tata smallcap fund - 0.7K 4. Edelweiss midcap 150 momentum 50 - 0.5K Could please review and advise me whether the above funds is to be considered good. Please provide some suggestions if changes required.
Ans: Your SIP portfolio seems well-diversified across various categories of equity funds, which is a good approach for long-term wealth creation. Let's review each fund and provide some suggestions:

Core Portfolio (60%):

Parag Parikh Flexicap Fund: This fund follows a flexible investment approach across large, mid, and small-cap stocks. It's known for its quality stock selection and has delivered consistent returns over the years.
JM Flexicap Fund: Another flexi-cap fund, providing exposure to companies across market capitalizations. Ensure you review its performance and consistency compared to peers.
Navi Nifty 50: Investing in an index fund like Navi Nifty 50 provides exposure to India's top 50 companies. It's a low-cost option with a focus on large-cap stocks.
Satellite Portfolio (40%):

Kotak Emerging Equity Fund: This fund focuses on emerging companies with high growth potential. Review its performance and ensure it aligns with your risk appetite.
JM Midcap Fund: Mid-cap funds like JM Midcap can offer higher growth potential but come with higher volatility. Monitor its performance and risk closely.
Tata Smallcap Fund: Investing in small-cap funds can provide exposure to high-growth companies. Ensure you're comfortable with the risk associated with small-cap investing.
Edelweiss Midcap 150 Momentum 50: This fund follows a momentum-based investment strategy, focusing on mid-cap stocks showing positive price momentum. Understand its investment approach and risk profile.
Suggestions:

Monitor Performance: Regularly review the performance of your funds and ensure they're meeting your expectations. Consider replacing underperforming funds with better alternatives.
Risk Management: Given the higher allocation to mid-cap and small-cap funds in your portfolio, be prepared for higher volatility. Ensure your risk tolerance aligns with the risk profile of these funds.
Review Fund Selection: Consider diversifying across fund houses to reduce concentration risk. Also, consider adding an international equity fund or a debt fund for further diversification.
Long-Term Perspective: Stay focused on your long-term investment horizon and avoid making knee-jerk reactions based on short-term market movements.
Overall, your SIP portfolio appears well-structured for wealth creation over the next 10-15 years. However, regularly monitoring and reviewing your portfolio's performance is essential to ensure it remains aligned with your financial goals and risk tolerance. Consider consulting with a financial advisor for personalized guidance based on your individual circumstances.

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Ramalingam

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Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 12, 2024

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I am 63years old and last month I have invested in SIP for 10 yrs Axissmall cap fund regular plan growth Rs3000 HDFC top 100fund --do-Rs3000 UTI nifty 50index fund growth Rs5000 ICICI prudential value discovery fund growth Rs5000 Sbi contra fund regular plan growth Rs3000 UTI transport and logistics sector growth fund I am a retired having sufficient corpus for old age. The above investment is for my grand children. Can you advise me whether my investment is correct and will you suggest better funds
Ans: I'd be happy to offer some insights and recommendations for your current investment strategy. Investing for your grandchildren is a wonderful gesture and can provide them with a significant financial head start in life. Let's break down your current investments and explore some alternatives that might better suit your goals.

Understanding Your Current Investments
You've chosen a variety of mutual funds, each with distinct characteristics. Here's a brief overview:

Axis Small Cap Fund: Small cap funds invest in companies with smaller market capitalization. These can offer high returns but come with higher risk due to volatility.

HDFC Top 100 Fund: This is a large-cap fund, focusing on stable, well-established companies with a track record of growth and reliability.

UTI Nifty 50 Index Fund: Index funds track a specific index, like the Nifty 50. They offer broad market exposure with lower management fees but lack the potential for higher returns from active management.

ICICI Prudential Value Discovery Fund: Value funds look for undervalued stocks with growth potential. These funds can perform well in different market conditions but may also carry higher risk.

SBI Contra Fund: Contra funds invest in out-of-favor stocks. These can provide high returns when the market corrects itself, but timing and selection are crucial.

UTI Transport and Logistics Fund: Sectoral funds like this one focus on specific sectors, offering higher returns when the sector performs well but also higher risk due to lack of diversification.

Evaluating Your Portfolio
Your investment portfolio showcases a mix of different types of funds, which is generally good for diversification. However, let's delve into some considerations:

Risk Assessment
Small Cap Funds: These funds can be highly volatile. While they offer high returns, the risk might be considerable, especially considering the investment is for your grandchildren and potentially for the long-term. Evaluating whether you need this high level of risk is crucial.

Sectoral Funds: Investing heavily in a single sector can lead to higher returns if the sector performs well. However, this comes with the downside of being overly exposed to sector-specific risks. Diversification across sectors might mitigate this risk.

Active vs. Passive Management
Index Funds: While they provide broad market exposure, index funds lack the potential for outperformance that actively managed funds might offer. The Nifty 50 Index Fund, for example, will mirror the market, which might be less desirable if you're aiming for higher returns over the long term.

Actively Managed Funds: These funds, like HDFC Top 100 and ICICI Prudential Value Discovery, aim to outperform the market through strategic stock selection. The expertise of fund managers can potentially lead to higher returns, justifying their higher management fees compared to index funds.

Potential Improvements and Suggestions
Given your investment goals for your grandchildren, let’s look at some potential adjustments:

Diversification
While your portfolio is diversified, you might want to consider reducing exposure to high-risk and sector-specific funds. Instead, opt for more balanced and multi-cap funds which offer diversification across market caps and sectors.

Balanced Fund Choices
Balanced Advantage Funds: These funds dynamically adjust between equity and debt based on market conditions. This provides a balanced approach, managing risk while aiming for reasonable returns.

Multi-Cap Funds: These funds invest across large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap stocks. They offer the potential for higher returns with a balanced risk profile compared to investing solely in small caps or sectoral funds.

Long-Term Growth with Stability
Flexi-Cap Funds: These funds have the flexibility to invest across various market capitalizations, offering growth potential while maintaining a diversified portfolio.

Focused Funds: Investing in a limited number of high-conviction stocks, these funds can provide significant returns. The risk is higher due to the concentrated portfolio, but the potential rewards might align with your long-term goals.

Reviewing Your Specific Choices
Axis Small Cap Fund
This fund can offer significant growth, but it comes with higher risk. You might consider reducing exposure to this fund and reallocating to more stable options.

HDFC Top 100 Fund
A solid choice for stability and consistent returns. Large-cap funds like this can anchor your portfolio, offering lower risk and steady growth.

UTI Nifty 50 Index Fund
While index funds are cost-effective, actively managed funds might better serve your goal of maximizing returns for your grandchildren. Consider reallocating to an actively managed fund with a good track record.

ICICI Prudential Value Discovery Fund
Value funds are great for long-term growth. This fund is a good choice, as it can perform well in various market conditions.

SBI Contra Fund
Contra funds can offer high returns but require good timing. If you're comfortable with the risk, it can stay in your portfolio. Otherwise, consider switching to a more diversified option.

UTI Transport and Logistics Fund
Sectoral funds are risky due to lack of diversification. Consider reallocating to a more broadly diversified fund to mitigate sector-specific risks.

Implementing Changes
Reduce High-Risk Investments: Consider reducing your allocation in small-cap and sectoral funds. Instead, invest in balanced advantage or multi-cap funds for a more stable growth trajectory.

Increase Stability: Boost your investment in large-cap and diversified equity funds. These provide more stability and consistent returns.

Consider Actively Managed Funds: Given your long-term horizon and the goal of maximizing returns, actively managed funds could be a better fit than index funds.

Regular Review and Adjustment: Periodically review your portfolio with a Certified Financial Planner. Adjust based on market conditions and your evolving financial goals.

Power of Compounding
Investing for your grandchildren allows you to harness the power of compounding. The longer the investment horizon, the greater the potential for exponential growth. Ensure that your portfolio includes funds that can compound effectively over the long term.

Tax Efficiency
While planning investments, consider the tax implications. Long-term capital gains on equity funds are taxed at a lower rate compared to short-term gains. Structuring your investments to minimize tax liabilities can enhance net returns.

Final Insights
Your current investments show a thoughtful mix of different types of mutual funds. However, balancing risk and reward, especially for long-term goals like investing for grandchildren, is crucial. By reducing exposure to high-risk and sector-specific funds, and increasing stability through balanced and diversified funds, you can create a robust portfolio. Regularly reviewing and adjusting your investments with a Certified Financial Planner ensures alignment with your financial goals and market conditions.

Investing wisely today sets the foundation for a secure and prosperous future for your grandchildren.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7510 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 14, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 14, 2024Hindi
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I am 37 years old and a govt servant.i just recently started sip in four funds 1.Mirae asset large and midcap fund direct growth. _1k 2.quant large and mid cap fund direct growth_1k 3.kotak equity opportunities fund direct growth_1k 4.icici prudential retirement fund pure equity plan direct growth -5k Is it good for a term like 10 years?and if i want to invest 5k more then where should i invest for a term of 15 to 20 years.please advice .thank you
Ans: As a government servant at 37, planning for the future is crucial. Starting SIPs in mutual funds is a wise step, but evaluating and refining your strategy can optimize your returns. This analysis will guide you through your current investments and suggest additional avenues for a long-term horizon.

Current SIP Analysis

You've begun SIPs in four mutual funds with a 10-year perspective:

Mirae Asset Large and Midcap Fund
Quant Large and Midcap Fund
Kotak Equity Opportunities Fund
ICICI Prudential Retirement Fund Pure Equity Plan
Your current allocation in these funds is commendable. Let's evaluate the benefits and potential improvements.

1. Mirae Asset Large and Midcap Fund

This fund invests in both large and midcap stocks. It offers growth potential from midcaps and stability from large caps. This balanced approach can yield good returns over the long term.

2. Quant Large and Midcap Fund

Similar to the Mirae Asset Fund, this fund also diversifies between large and midcap stocks. Diversification is a key strategy to mitigate risk while aiming for growth.

3. Kotak Equity Opportunities Fund

This fund focuses on equity opportunities across market caps. It's known for good management and consistent performance. It adds diversity to your portfolio.

4. ICICI Prudential Retirement Fund Pure Equity Plan

This fund is designed for long-term goals like retirement. It invests primarily in equities, which can offer higher returns over an extended period.

Your portfolio currently has a good mix of large-cap stability and mid-cap growth potential. However, since you're considering a long-term investment horizon of 15-20 years, let's explore where you can invest an additional Rs 5,000 per month.

Evaluating Direct Funds vs Regular Funds

You've invested in direct plans, which typically have lower expense ratios. However, regular funds through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) have their advantages. A CFP provides personalized advice, timely reviews, and adjustments to your portfolio. These services can potentially enhance your investment performance, justifying the slightly higher expense ratios.

Long-term Investment Strategy

For a long-term investment horizon of 15-20 years, consider the following factors:

Diversification: Spread investments across different asset classes and sectors.
Risk Tolerance: Understand your risk appetite and invest accordingly.
Consistent Review: Regularly review and adjust your portfolio based on market conditions and personal goals.
Recommended Investment Avenues

To invest an additional Rs 5,000 per month, here are some funds and strategies to consider:

1. Flexi Cap Funds

Flexi cap funds invest in stocks across market capitalizations. They offer flexibility to shift investments between large, mid, and small caps based on market conditions. This dynamic allocation can capture opportunities across the spectrum and provide robust returns over the long term.

2. Mid Cap Funds

Mid cap funds focus on medium-sized companies with high growth potential. These companies often grow faster than large caps and can offer higher returns. However, they come with higher risk, suitable for a long-term horizon.

3. Sectoral or Thematic Funds

These funds invest in specific sectors like technology, healthcare, or financial services. Investing in a growing sector can yield substantial returns. However, they are riskier and require careful selection and timing. For example, the healthcare sector in India is poised for significant growth due to increasing health awareness and spending.

4. International Funds

Investing in international funds provides exposure to global markets. This diversification can reduce risk associated with the Indian market. It also allows you to capitalize on the growth of developed economies and emerging markets. For instance, a fund investing in US technology stocks can offer high growth potential.

5. Balanced or Hybrid Funds

Balanced funds invest in both equity and debt instruments. They provide growth potential with equity and stability with debt. This mix can be suitable for moderate risk tolerance and long-term investment. These funds can provide a cushion during market volatility, ensuring smoother returns.

6. Multi-Asset Funds

Multi-asset funds diversify across various asset classes, including equity, debt, and gold. This diversification reduces risk and can provide steady returns. Investing in multiple assets helps in balancing the portfolio against market fluctuations.

The Benefits of Actively Managed Funds

While index funds passively track market indices, actively managed funds have fund managers making strategic decisions. Actively managed funds aim to outperform the market, providing higher returns. They adjust portfolios based on market trends, economic conditions, and company performance. This active management justifies the slightly higher expense ratios, as it can potentially lead to better returns than passive funds.

Implementing the Strategy

Based on the analysis, here's a suggested allocation for your additional Rs 5,000 investment:

Flexi Cap Fund: Rs 1,500
Mid Cap Fund: Rs 1,000
Sectoral/Thematic Fund: Rs 1,000
International Fund: Rs 1,000
Multi-Asset Fund: Rs 500
This allocation provides a balanced mix of growth potential and risk mitigation.

Regular Review and Adjustment

Investing is not a one-time activity. Regularly review your portfolio to ensure it aligns with your goals. A Certified Financial Planner can assist in this process, providing insights and adjustments based on market trends and your evolving financial situation.

Final Insights

Investing for the long term requires a strategic approach. Your current SIPs are a good start, and with the additional Rs 5,000 investment, you can further strengthen your portfolio. Diversification across different asset classes and sectors is key to maximizing returns and minimizing risk.

Consider the benefits of regular funds through a Certified Financial Planner. While they have higher expense ratios, the personalized advice and active management can enhance your investment performance.

Focus on a balanced mix of flexi cap, mid cap, sectoral/thematic, international, and multi-asset funds. This diversified approach can capture growth opportunities across markets and sectors, ensuring a robust and resilient portfolio.

Regularly review your investments, adjust based on performance and market conditions, and stay committed to your long-term goals. With careful planning and strategic investments, you can build a substantial corpus for your future needs.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

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Kanchan

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Asked by Anonymous - Jan 05, 2025Hindi
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How to manage stress?
Ans: The first step is to become aware of what triggers your stress. This self-awareness allows you to address the root causes rather than just the symptoms. Once you identify these triggers, you can start exploring techniques that help you cope effectively.

One effective approach is to incorporate regular self-care practices into your daily routine. This could include activities that bring you joy and relaxation, such as exercise, meditation, or spending time in nature. These practices not only help calm the mind but also improve your overall mood and resilience to stress.

Talking to someone you trust, whether a friend, family member, or professional, can also be a powerful way to manage stress. Sharing your feelings and experiences helps lighten the emotional load and provides different perspectives that might help you navigate your challenges more effectively.

It's also important to focus on what you can control and let go of things that are beyond your influence. This shift in mindset can reduce feelings of helplessness and frustration. Setting realistic expectations for yourself and others can also alleviate unnecessary pressure.

Remember to give yourself permission to rest and recharge. Adequate sleep, a balanced diet, and time for relaxation are essential for managing stress. When you take care of your body and mind, you're better equipped to handle life's demands.

Lastly, cultivating a mindset of gratitude and mindfulness can help you stay present and appreciate the positive aspects of your life, even during stressful times. These practices can create a sense of balance and help you respond to stress in healthier, more constructive ways. By integrating these approaches into your life, you can build resilience and find a sense of peace amidst the chaos.

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 14, 2025Hindi
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Dear Counselor, My husband and I have been together for 11 years, with 10 years of dating and 1 year of marriage. Unfortunately, our relationship has been strained over the past year due to financial disagreements. Before marriage, we discussed his personal loan, which was taken for a land purchase for his mother. The loan repayment amounts to 30% of his salary. He assured me that, except for this loan repayment, he would not contribute financially to his parents' expenses until the loan was paid off. However, his parents are now pressuring him to increase his financial support by 20%. They claim to need help clearing their debts, despite being below 45, physically fit, and earning a sufficient income to support themselves. This situation is causing tension in our marriage, as we had planned to save and invest together, having no property or financial security of our own. I'm finding it challenging to understand why my husband is not prioritizing our financial goals and future together. please help me on this. Thank you for your time and guidance.
Ans: The key here is to approach the situation with empathy and open communication. Your husband likely feels a strong sense of duty towards his parents, which is understandable given cultural and familial expectations. However, it’s also important for him to recognize the commitments and plans you’ve both made as a couple. Balancing these two responsibilities can be difficult, but it’s essential for the health of your relationship.

Start by having a calm and honest conversation with your husband. Express your feelings without blame, focusing on how the situation affects both of you and your shared goals. It’s important that he understands your perspective and how the financial strain is impacting not only your plans but also your emotional well-being.

Encourage him to discuss his feelings and the pressure he’s experiencing from his parents. Sometimes, partners may feel caught between their familial obligations and their commitments to their spouse, leading to stress and internal conflict. Understanding his point of view can help you find common ground.

You might also explore practical solutions together, such as setting clear boundaries on financial support or finding a compromise that allows both your goals and his familial obligations to be met to some extent. This could involve budgeting, setting financial priorities, or seeking financial counseling to help manage the situation more effectively.

Ultimately, it’s about finding a balance that respects both of your needs and ensures that your marriage remains a priority. By working together and communicating openly, you can navigate this challenge and strengthen your relationship.

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 14, 2025Hindi
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Hi Mam, I met my ex wife in the college where we both were pursuing out studies. We exchanged contacts and started speaking over phone like couple does. When we fall in live we ourselves don't know as no one propose to each other. As i finished my studies, she quit studies in the middle and decided to do hotel management course. Amd it so happened, next day her interview was lined up but unfortunately due to unavoidable circumstances she has to go to her native place. As Covid struck she git stuck in her native place and couldn't come back. And when everything became normal i insisted her to come but her mom was not allowing. After a lot of struggle her mom allowed her and she came back. In this course of time both families was aware about our relationship. My mom was against her because of 2 reasons, 1) Intercaste 2) She was from very poor and low caste background. Them too i continued the relationship and i convinced to my sister and she convinced to mom. And when she was in native place, she said once that her voice has gone has gone she need 50k for operation. I trying madly to arrange funds and one of my friend told me that she is playing with you be careful but as i was blind in love i necer listened him. When she came to Mumbai i arranged a pg accommodation for her for some time and i use to take her out for dinner as there use to be regular fights with owner. Somehow i convinced my mom and shifted her to my place. There use to be fights but we use to care for each other also at the same time. She started to do events and slowly and steadily started to work in media. She was well aware that i dont like girls working media then too i have her permission to work in media temporary. I went against everyone, my family and friend and after 7yrs of relationship we decided to get marry and it was working fine. After marriage fight increased and she used to taunt though i did so much for her. Once she was not well and as she used to taunt me i never took care of her. One day my dear friend told me to check her phone, she might be seeing someone. And when i checked she was having an affair with Assistant director, i saw msgs photos. And when i confronted she said "He is just a friend and we talk normally" I saw they both on one bed and when i forward their pics to her mom she said "There might be some problem in you only." And when i asked to my ex wife about all this she said "A person goes where he or she gets love and care" All this happened within 6-8 months of our marriage. When i came to know about all this i tod her to leave my house and she was asking for divorce because of my mon's behavior also. I think i should have not tell her to leave as when she left i don't know but i love her very much. I even told her to give me one chance as i gave her but she didn't stopped talking with her bf. And she didn't gave me a chance and went away. We have been legally divorced but still i love her and ready to accept her. But she doesn't want to come back. I am trying to forget her but couldn't. Luckily we don't have kids. Sometimes my heart says let her go she cheated you. Sometimes it says i love now also. I am struggling to forgot her as i am in contact now also. Please suggest. Thank you
Ans: it's important to acknowledge and honor the love you felt and still feel. Love doesn’t simply disappear overnight, and it’s natural to have lingering emotions, especially when you’ve shared so much history and effort to keep the relationship going. However, it’s also crucial to recognize the harm and hurt caused by her actions and the unresolved issues that led to the breakdown of your marriage.

The fact that she chose not to return and continues to maintain contact with the person she was involved with suggests that she has moved on emotionally, even if you haven’t. Holding onto hope for reconciliation can keep you trapped in a cycle of pain and longing, which makes it harder to heal and move forward.

Your heart and mind are sending you mixed signals because you’re torn between the love you still feel and the reality of the betrayal. This is a common struggle after a significant loss, but it’s important to focus on what’s best for your emotional well-being. Continuing to be in contact with her may be preventing you from healing fully. It might be beneficial to create some distance, at least temporarily, to allow yourself the space to process your feelings and begin the healing process.

Focusing on yourself and your own growth is essential. Consider engaging in activities that bring you joy, spending time with supportive friends and family, and possibly seeking professional counseling to help you work through your emotions and develop strategies to move forward.

Letting go is difficult, especially when you still have love for someone, but it’s a crucial step towards healing. Accepting that the relationship has ended and focusing on your future can help you find peace and eventually open the door to new possibilities for love and happiness.

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 13, 2025Hindi
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My partner and I are from different cultural backgrounds. She has always felt a strong spiritual connection to events like the Kumbh Mela. Earlier this year, while booking the tickets she had asked if I would like to join her as she is travelling solo. While I respect her beliefs, I refused to join because I am not a religious person. Now that she has booked her tickets, I am worried about her safety. Should I tell her to cancel her trip? I don't want her to think that I am disrespecting her choices or religion. Or should I just tag along and make her feel safe? How do I address these concerns and have a healthy conversation?
Ans: Start by having an honest conversation with her. Share your feelings about her safety in a caring and non-confrontational way. Let her know that your concern comes from a place of love and care, not from a lack of respect for her spiritual journey. It’s important to express that you understand her desire to attend the Kumbh Mela and that you support her connection to this event.

If you’re considering joining her, it could be a gesture of solidarity and support, even if you’re not personally invested in the spiritual aspect. However, it’s crucial to approach this as a way to share the experience together and ensure her safety, rather than as an obligation or with reluctance. If you decide to join her, communicate that you’re doing so because you want to be there for her, which could strengthen your relationship.

On the other hand, if you feel strongly about not attending due to personal beliefs, you can suggest other ways to support her. This might include discussing safety plans or staying in close communication while she’s there. This approach shows that you trust her decisions while still being there for her in a supportive way.

Ultimately, the conversation should aim to understand each other’s perspectives and find a solution that makes both of you feel comfortable and respected. Balancing your care for her safety with respect for her independence and beliefs is key to maintaining a healthy, supportive relationship.

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Kanchan

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 09, 2025Hindi
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I am 42 Female currently, last marriage didn't go well, afraid of new start, I neither type of person who can go to club etc etc to "find someone" - What's the best way to move forward, Do we have genuine way of finding someone who can become reliable partner too (No tinder etc as again I knw myself now at this age, I can't) - Please guide
Ans: One of the best ways to meet someone compatible is through shared interests and environments where you feel at ease. Consider engaging in activities or communities that resonate with you. This could include joining local interest groups, volunteering, or taking classes in areas you’re passionate about. These settings not only provide opportunities to meet like-minded individuals but also allow connections to develop organically over shared experiences and values.

Another valuable approach is to lean on your existing network. Friends, family, and colleagues often know you well and can introduce you to others who might be a good match. These introductions can be more comfortable and trustworthy since they come from people who understand your personality and values.

It’s also important to give yourself time and space to heal and grow from past experiences. Building a reliable and meaningful relationship starts with being in a place where you feel confident and whole on your own. This self-awareness and emotional readiness will naturally attract the right kind of partner who values and respects you for who you are.

Remember, there’s no rush or specific timeline you need to adhere to. Allow relationships to develop at a pace that feels right for you, and focus on building connections that are based on mutual respect, understanding, and shared values. Trust that the right person will come into your life when the time is right, and until then, prioritize your own happiness and well-being.

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Kanchan

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

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My age is 48 years and i have one son aged 17 years and i am single son of my parents ,one and half year back my wife expired and upon insisted by my parents and close relatives i got remarried and she has one girl aged 8 years, after passing of six months she has started showing her true colors and it has become very difficult for me to continue and i want to get rid of this . Please guide me what should i do now.
Ans: Dear Dinesh,
it’s important to reflect on what is making the relationship difficult. Understanding the specific issues—whether they stem from differences in values, communication problems, or other conflicts—can provide clarity on how to move forward.

If you haven't already, consider having an open and honest conversation with your wife about your concerns. Sometimes, addressing issues directly can lead to resolutions or at least a better understanding of each other's perspectives. Counseling, either individually or as a couple, can also be a valuable tool in navigating these challenges and deciding the best course of action.

However, if you’ve already tried addressing these issues and find that the relationship is still untenable, it may be time to consider ending the marriage. It’s important to prioritize your emotional and mental well-being, as well as that of your son and stepdaughter. Divorce is never an easy decision, especially when children are involved, but staying in an unhappy and unhealthy relationship can have long-term negative impacts on everyone.

As you contemplate your next steps, it’s also important to lean on your support system. Friends, family, or a counselor can provide guidance and help you navigate this difficult period. Remember, prioritizing your well-being is not only crucial for you but also for your children, as they look to you for stability and emotional guidance. Making decisions that lead to a healthier and happier environment for everyone involved is ultimately the most important goal.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |492 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 08, 2024
Relationship
Hello mam.I know a girl since college days.She is married to a guy since last 15 years.Since last 3 years we had an affair.I did take her for granted after our 2 nd half 3 years of relationship.Since a year now she has been giving me some or the other reason such as she is not getting feeling for me,husband is taking much care now so cant handle our relationship,then she told she has some health issue and now recently she tells me she has been telling me indirectly since a year to move on as she was in a relationship with some guy whom she got attracted in a mutual connection.But now she has discontinued with him as well. We do chat on message and call sometime but now since a year she herself has stopped calling or messaging.She replies only when i message or call. I want her back in my life and improve my relationship with her.Please guide me to get her back and have a relationship with her as we had till last year.What steps should I take to win her heart back and make her mine?
Ans: The first step is to acknowledge and respect her current feelings and boundaries. It’s clear she’s navigating her own emotional journey and trying to find clarity in her life. Pressuring her or trying to win her back without considering her current stance may push her further away.

Instead, focus on open and honest communication. If you genuinely care for her, it’s important to express your feelings without being demanding. Share how you feel, but also be willing to listen to her perspective fully. Understand that love and relationships are mutual, and both parties need to feel connected and invested.

During this time, it’s also essential to reflect on your own needs and emotional well-being. Ask yourself if this relationship, as it currently stands, is fulfilling and healthy for you. Relationships can be complicated, and sometimes stepping back to allow both people space to understand their feelings can lead to a clearer path forward, whether that’s together or apart.

Ultimately, your focus should be on building healthy, honest connections and prioritizing emotional well-being for both yourself and the people involved. If there’s a possibility of rekindling the relationship, it will come from mutual understanding, respect, and willingness from both sides.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |492 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

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Relationship
my husband after marriage cheated to me he is in relationship on that time he avoids me and ignore me but i am very loyal on that time because of son, now we both not asking eachother abt anything, not talking but abt the son any activity will be there we will be together, but we are not talking with eachother even now we are not caring eachother, the man who i met recently he is my friend my colleague he know everything abt me but now he proposed me and he treated me like a wife he knows abt my son. he really love me even i involved him my family to know my family background, he is married but divorce, even i love him a lot every habits he have as a husband he takes take he talk with me very respectively, what should i do i want a suggestion. is it right?
Ans: Dear Ruta,
It's essential to reflect on what you truly want and need for your emotional well-being and happiness. Your marriage, despite its difficulties, still ties you and your husband together, especially through your son. You both have managed to maintain a cooperative relationship for his sake, which shows your commitment as parents.

However, the new relationship you're considering brings a fresh dynamic. This person understands your struggles, respects you, and offers emotional support. It's natural to feel drawn to someone who makes you feel valued and loved, especially after experiencing neglect and betrayal.

Before making any decisions, it's important to take time to reflect on your current situation. Consider what you want from your life and relationships. Think about how any decision you make will affect not only you but also your son and everyone involved. Communicating openly with your husband about your feelings and the state of your marriage could bring some clarity, even if it's difficult.

If you choose to pursue a relationship with this new person, ensure that you're doing it for the right reasons and that you're both on the same page about the future. It's crucial to consider your emotional readiness and the potential impact on your son. This process may take time, but prioritizing your emotional well-being and happiness is essential.

Ultimately, the right path will be one that brings you peace, happiness, and stability for both you and your son. Trust yourself to make a decision that aligns with your needs and values.

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