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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7510 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 05, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Samarjit Question by Samarjit on May 05, 2024Hindi
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Money

What should be the investment even after retirement and in which fund

Ans: Post-retirement, it's crucial to maintain a well-balanced investment strategy that aligns with your financial goals, risk tolerance, and income needs. Here's a tailored approach to consider:

Investment Objectives:
Focus on preserving capital, generating regular income, and managing inflation risk to sustain your lifestyle in retirement.
Prioritize investments that offer stability, liquidity, and moderate growth potential to meet your income requirements.
Asset Allocation:
Allocate a portion of your retirement corpus to fixed-income investments such as bonds, debt funds, and Senior Citizen Savings Scheme (SCSS) to provide a steady stream of income and capital preservation.
Maintain exposure to equity through balanced funds or conservative equity funds to benefit from potential capital appreciation while managing volatility.
Regular Income Generation:
Consider investing in dividend-paying mutual funds or systematic withdrawal plans (SWP) to generate a regular income stream from your investment portfolio.
Opt for funds with a history of consistent dividends or reliable income distributions to support your post-retirement expenses.
Risk Management:
Prioritize investments with lower volatility and downside protection to safeguard your retirement savings from market fluctuations.
Diversify across asset classes and investment vehicles to mitigate risk and enhance portfolio resilience.
Tax Efficiency:
Choose tax-efficient investment options such as tax-free bonds, dividend-paying funds, or capital gains tax-exempt instruments to optimize your post-retirement income.
Leverage tax-saving opportunities available to retirees, such as Senior Citizens Savings Scheme (SCSS) or Pradhan Mantri Vaya Vandana Yojana (PMVVY), to maximize tax benefits.
Regular Review and Adjustment:
Continuously monitor your investment portfolio and adjust your asset allocation and investment strategy based on changing market conditions, income requirements, and personal circumstances.
Consult with a Certified Financial Planner periodically to ensure your investment plan remains aligned with your post-retirement goals and objectives.
Overall, maintain a balanced approach to post-retirement investing, focusing on income generation, capital preservation, and risk management. By diversifying across asset classes, prioritizing stability, and staying disciplined in your investment approach, you can build a resilient portfolio that supports your financial well-being throughout retirement.
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7510 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 01, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 11, 2024Hindi
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Dear sir At the age of retirement of 60 years What will be the correct investment for Monthly income
Ans: As you approach retirement at 60, securing a reliable source of monthly income becomes a top priority. Here are some investment options to consider for generating monthly income:

Annuities: Annuities are insurance products that provide regular income payments in exchange for a lump sum investment. They offer guaranteed income for life or a specified period, providing financial security during retirement.
Senior Citizen Savings Scheme (SCSS): SCSS is a government-backed savings scheme designed for individuals aged 60 and above. It offers fixed interest rates and quarterly payouts, making it a popular choice for retirees seeking regular income.
Post Office Monthly Income Scheme (POMIS): POMIS is another government-backed savings scheme that provides monthly interest payments. It offers a fixed interest rate and serves as a reliable source of monthly income for retirees.
Systematic Withdrawal Plans (SWP): SWP allows you to withdraw a fixed amount from your mutual fund investments at regular intervals. It provides flexibility and the potential for capital appreciation while generating monthly income.
Dividend-Paying Stocks: Investing in dividend-paying stocks can provide regular income through dividend payments. However, it's essential to research and select stable companies with a history of consistent dividend payments.
Rental Income from Real Estate: If you own rental properties, you can generate monthly income through rental payments. However, managing rental properties requires time and effort, so consider this option carefully.
Before making any investment decisions, assess your financial goals, risk tolerance, and income needs. Consult with a Certified Financial Planner to develop a personalized retirement income strategy that aligns with your objectives and provides financial security during retirement.

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7510 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 27, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 25, 2024Hindi
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Money
am now 42 year old I don't have Any investment till now just started 4 month below I want to retire after 10 years but I want fund should reach atleast 2.50cr how much should I invest more and my below funds are ok to continue I can take risk canara Rabeco equity Hybrid fund regular plan growth 5000 month ICICI Prudential equity &Debt Fund growth. 11000 month Mirai Asset Emerging Bluechip fund Growth 2500 month Motilal Oswal Midcap fund regular growth 10000 month Nippon india Large cap fund Growth 10000 month Nippon India Small Cap fund Growth 15000 month Quant Active Fund growth 11000 month SBI Large & Midcap Fund regular growth 7500 month Tata digital India fund regular growth 6500 month Nippon multiCap 15000
Ans: Evaluating Your Investment Plan
You have started investing recently and aim to retire in 10 years with a corpus of Rs 2.50 crores. You are currently investing in several mutual funds. Let’s assess your current investment strategy and determine how much more you need to invest to achieve your goal.

Current Investment Contributions
Your current investments per month are as follows:

Canara Rabeco Equity Hybrid Fund: Rs 5,000
ICICI Prudential Equity & Debt Fund: Rs 11,000
Mirai Asset Emerging Bluechip Fund: Rs 2,500
Motilal Oswal Midcap Fund: Rs 10,000
Nippon India Large Cap Fund: Rs 10,000
Nippon India Small Cap Fund: Rs 15,000
Quant Active Fund: Rs 11,000
SBI Large & Midcap Fund: Rs 7,500
Tata Digital India Fund: Rs 6,500
Nippon MultiCap: Rs 15,000
Total Monthly Investment
Your total monthly investment is Rs 93,000.

Risk Tolerance and Investment Horizon
Given your risk tolerance and 10-year horizon, equity investments are suitable. However, it’s essential to have a balanced portfolio to mitigate risks.

Assessing Fund Choices
Hybrid Funds: These funds balance between equity and debt, reducing volatility. However, they might not provide the highest returns.

Equity & Debt Funds: These also balance risk and return but focus more on equity.

Large Cap Funds: These funds are less volatile and suitable for stable growth.

Mid Cap and Small Cap Funds: These have higher growth potential but are more volatile.

Digital India Fund: This sector-specific fund focuses on technology, which is high-risk but potentially high-reward.

MultiCap Funds: These funds diversify across large, mid, and small cap stocks, balancing risk and return.

Recommendation for Asset Allocation
Diversification: Ensure your investments are diversified across various sectors and market capitalizations.

Balance Risk: Balance your high-risk investments with safer, more stable options.

Regular Review: Regularly review and adjust your portfolio based on market conditions and performance.

Calculating Future Corpus
To reach Rs 2.50 crores in 10 years, you need an effective strategy. Assuming an average annual return of 12%, let’s calculate the required monthly investment.

Required Monthly Investment
Based on a 12% annual return, you might need to invest approximately Rs 1,00,000 to Rs 1,10,000 per month to reach your goal. This is an estimate and actual returns may vary.

Steps to Achieve Your Goal
Increase SIP Amount: Consider increasing your SIP contributions by Rs 7,000 to Rs 17,000 per month.

Review Fund Performance: Regularly review the performance of your funds. Replace underperforming funds with better options.

Consult a Certified Financial Planner: Periodic consultation with a CFP can help you stay on track.

Advantages of Actively Managed Funds
Professional Management: Actively managed funds benefit from professional fund managers’ expertise.

Market Opportunities: Fund managers can exploit market opportunities for higher returns.

Risk Management: Active funds often have strategies to manage and mitigate risks.

Disadvantages of Index Funds
Limited Returns: Index funds aim to match the market, not outperform it.

No Flexibility: They lack the flexibility to react to market changes quickly.

Benefits of Regular Funds via MFD with CFP Credential
Expert Advice: Regular funds offer access to expert advice and financial planning.

Better Performance: These funds often outperform direct funds due to professional management.

Comprehensive Planning: Investing through a CFP ensures a holistic approach to financial planning.

Conclusion
Your investment strategy is on the right track. With a few adjustments and increased contributions, you can achieve your retirement goal. Regular reviews and professional guidance will ensure you stay on course.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7510 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 25, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 25, 2024Hindi
Money
Hi Vivek am now 42 year old I don't have Any investment till now just started 4 month below I want to retire after 10 years but I want fund should reach atleast 2.50cr how much should I invest more and my below funds are ok to continue I can take risk canara Rabeco equity Hybrid fund regular plan growth 5000 month ICICI Prudential equity &Debt Fund growth. 11000 month Mirai Asset Emerging Bluechip fund Growth 2500 month Motilal Oswal Midcap fund regular growth 10000 month Nippon india Large cap fund Growth 10000 month Nippon India Small Cap fund Growth 15000 month Quant Active Fund growth 11000 month SBI Large & Midcap Fund regular growth 7500 month Tata digital India fund regular growth 6500 month Nippon multiCap 15000
Ans: Analyzing Your Current Investment Portfolio

You have taken the first steps toward a secure retirement by starting your investments. It’s commendable that you are willing to take risks for potentially higher returns. Your current portfolio comprises a mix of equity, hybrid, midcap, large cap, small cap, and multicap funds. This diversification is a good strategy, but let's see how you can optimize it further.

Current Investment Strategy

Your monthly investment in different funds totals Rs 94,000. Given your risk appetite, your portfolio’s focus on equity funds can help achieve higher returns. Each fund category serves a different purpose, from stability to growth, balancing risks and rewards.

Required Monthly Investment to Achieve Your Goal

To reach a target of Rs 2.50 crore in 10 years, considering an expected annual return of around 12%, you need to evaluate your current investment amount. While Rs 94,000 is a substantial contribution, a precise calculation with a financial tool would confirm if additional investment is necessary. Generally, with a higher equity exposure, achieving a 12% return over a decade is feasible.

Assessing and Optimizing Fund Allocation

Equity Hybrid Fund

These funds balance risk and return by investing in both equity and debt instruments. They provide stability in volatile markets, ensuring steady growth over time.

Equity & Debt Fund

Similar to hybrid funds, these offer a balanced approach, mitigating risks associated with pure equity funds. They are ideal for long-term goals, blending growth with safety.

Emerging Bluechip and Midcap Funds

These funds invest in companies with high growth potential. They are riskier but can offer substantial returns, suitable for aggressive investors like you.

Large Cap and Small Cap Funds

Large cap funds invest in well-established companies, offering stability and moderate returns. Small cap funds, though riskier, provide high growth potential. Combining both creates a balanced risk profile.

Multicap Fund

Multicap funds diversify across various market caps, balancing risk and returns effectively. They provide a mix of stability from large caps and growth from mid and small caps.

Sector Funds: Disadvantages

While sector funds, like the Digital India Fund in your portfolio, can offer high growth potential, they come with certain disadvantages:

High Risk: Sector funds are highly volatile as they depend on the performance of a specific sector. If the sector underperforms, the fund's value can decline significantly.

Lack of Diversification: These funds invest in a single sector, leading to concentrated risk. Unlike diversified funds, poor performance in the chosen sector can lead to substantial losses.

Market Timing: Successfully investing in sector funds requires precise market timing, which is challenging even for seasoned investors. Misjudging market trends can lead to poor investment outcomes.

Economic Cycles: Sector funds are highly sensitive to economic cycles. In a downturn, sector-specific investments can be hit hard, while diversified funds can better weather economic fluctuations.

Regulatory Risks: Sector funds are also subject to regulatory changes. For example, government policies affecting the IT sector can impact a Digital India Fund negatively.

Complementing Existing Investments

To further strengthen your portfolio, consider increasing investments in underrepresented sectors or categories. Ensure you review and adjust your portfolio periodically, aligning it with market conditions and personal financial goals.

Continuous Monitoring and Rebalancing

Investment strategies should evolve with market trends and personal circumstances. Regularly monitor fund performance and rebalance your portfolio annually. This ensures your investments remain aligned with your retirement goals.

Consulting with a Certified Financial Planner

Working with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) can help optimize your investment strategy. They offer tailored advice, helping you navigate market fluctuations and adjust your portfolio accordingly.

Final Thoughts

Your proactive approach to securing your retirement is admirable. By maintaining a disciplined investment strategy and continuously optimizing your portfolio, achieving your Rs 2.50 crore goal is within reach. Stay committed and periodically review your investments for the best outcomes.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7510 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 27, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 25, 2024Hindi
Listen
Money
am now 42 year old I don't have Any investment till now just started 4 month below I want to retire after 10 years but I want fund should reach atleast 2.50cr how much should I invest more and my below funds are ok to continue I can take risk canara Rabeco equity Hybrid fund regular plan growth 5000 month ICICI Prudential equity &Debt Fund growth. 11000 month Mirai Asset Emerging Bluechip fund Growth 2500 month Motilal Oswal Midcap fund regular growth 10000 month Nippon india Large cap fund Growth 10000 month Nippon India Small Cap fund Growth 15000 month Quant Active Fund growth 11000 month SBI Large & Midcap Fund regular growth 7500 month Tata digital India fund regular growth 6500 month Nippon multiCap 15000
Ans: Evaluating Your Investment Plan
You have started investing recently and aim to retire in 10 years with a corpus of Rs 2.50 crores. You are currently investing in several mutual funds. Let’s assess your current investment strategy and determine how much more you need to invest to achieve your goal.

Current Investment Contributions
Your current investments per month are as follows:

Canara Rabeco Equity Hybrid Fund: Rs 5,000
ICICI Prudential Equity & Debt Fund: Rs 11,000
Mirai Asset Emerging Bluechip Fund: Rs 2,500
Motilal Oswal Midcap Fund: Rs 10,000
Nippon India Large Cap Fund: Rs 10,000
Nippon India Small Cap Fund: Rs 15,000
Quant Active Fund: Rs 11,000
SBI Large & Midcap Fund: Rs 7,500
Tata Digital India Fund: Rs 6,500
Nippon MultiCap: Rs 15,000
Total Monthly Investment
Your total monthly investment is Rs 93,000.

Risk Tolerance and Investment Horizon
Given your risk tolerance and 10-year horizon, equity investments are suitable. However, it’s essential to have a balanced portfolio to mitigate risks.

Assessing Fund Choices
Hybrid Funds: These funds balance between equity and debt, reducing volatility. However, they might not provide the highest returns.

Equity & Debt Funds: These also balance risk and return but focus more on equity.

Large Cap Funds: These funds are less volatile and suitable for stable growth.

Mid Cap and Small Cap Funds: These have higher growth potential but are more volatile.

Digital India Fund: This sector-specific fund focuses on technology, which is high-risk but potentially high-reward.

MultiCap Funds: These funds diversify across large, mid, and small cap stocks, balancing risk and return.

Recommendation for Asset Allocation
Diversification: Ensure your investments are diversified across various sectors and market capitalizations.

Balance Risk: Balance your high-risk investments with safer, more stable options.

Regular Review: Regularly review and adjust your portfolio based on market conditions and performance.

Calculating Future Corpus
To reach Rs 2.50 crores in 10 years, you need an effective strategy. Assuming an average annual return of 12%, let’s calculate the required monthly investment.

Required Monthly Investment
Based on a 12% annual return, you might need to invest approximately Rs 1,00,000 to Rs 1,10,000 per month to reach your goal. This is an estimate and actual returns may vary.

Steps to Achieve Your Goal
Increase SIP Amount: Consider increasing your SIP contributions by Rs 7,000 to Rs 17,000 per month.

Review Fund Performance: Regularly review the performance of your funds. Replace underperforming funds with better options.

Consult a Certified Financial Planner: Periodic consultation with a CFP can help you stay on track.

Advantages of Actively Managed Funds
Professional Management: Actively managed funds benefit from professional fund managers’ expertise.

Market Opportunities: Fund managers can exploit market opportunities for higher returns.

Risk Management: Active funds often have strategies to manage and mitigate risks.

Disadvantages of Index Funds
Limited Returns: Index funds aim to match the market, not outperform it.

No Flexibility: They lack the flexibility to react to market changes quickly.

Benefits of Regular Funds via MFD with CFP Credential
Expert Advice: Regular funds offer access to expert advice and financial planning.

Better Performance: These funds often outperform direct funds due to professional management.

Comprehensive Planning: Investing through a CFP ensures a holistic approach to financial planning.

Conclusion
Your investment strategy is on the right track. With a few adjustments and increased contributions, you can achieve your retirement goal. Regular reviews and professional guidance will ensure you stay on course.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

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Asked by Anonymous - Jan 14, 2025Hindi
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This is my second attempt at SSC CGL, and I’ve improved since last year. But I’m still anxious about the descriptive paper. Can you suggest ways to stand out in this section and make my essay and letter writing more impactful?
Ans: The SSC CGL descriptive paper requires a clear, structured, and effective presentation. To improve your essay writing skills, review the subject matter thoroughly and avoid deviations from the central theme. Sketch an initial outline and adhere to a straightforward framework, including an Introduction, Body, and Conclusion. Start with a hook and express your thesis or stance in a concise manner. Arrange arguments in a logical order, using data, examples, and facts to establish credibility. Avoid repetition and maintain brevity.

In summary, concisely summarize the primary themes and offer a fair perspective. Avoid vernacular language and maintain appropriate sentence structure and grammar. Maintain a clean writing style and avoid overwriting.

For writing a letter, adhere to the conventional format, maintain clarity and conciseness, and articulate the purpose in the first paragraph. Use simple language and avoid intricate terminology.

Regularly engage in writing essays and correspondence on various subjects to develop adaptability. Stay informed about the latest news and hot topics. Develop time management skills and consistently proofread your work for errors.

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 05, 2025Hindi
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How to manage stress?
Ans: The first step is to become aware of what triggers your stress. This self-awareness allows you to address the root causes rather than just the symptoms. Once you identify these triggers, you can start exploring techniques that help you cope effectively.

One effective approach is to incorporate regular self-care practices into your daily routine. This could include activities that bring you joy and relaxation, such as exercise, meditation, or spending time in nature. These practices not only help calm the mind but also improve your overall mood and resilience to stress.

Talking to someone you trust, whether a friend, family member, or professional, can also be a powerful way to manage stress. Sharing your feelings and experiences helps lighten the emotional load and provides different perspectives that might help you navigate your challenges more effectively.

It's also important to focus on what you can control and let go of things that are beyond your influence. This shift in mindset can reduce feelings of helplessness and frustration. Setting realistic expectations for yourself and others can also alleviate unnecessary pressure.

Remember to give yourself permission to rest and recharge. Adequate sleep, a balanced diet, and time for relaxation are essential for managing stress. When you take care of your body and mind, you're better equipped to handle life's demands.

Lastly, cultivating a mindset of gratitude and mindfulness can help you stay present and appreciate the positive aspects of your life, even during stressful times. These practices can create a sense of balance and help you respond to stress in healthier, more constructive ways. By integrating these approaches into your life, you can build resilience and find a sense of peace amidst the chaos.

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 14, 2025Hindi
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Dear Counselor, My husband and I have been together for 11 years, with 10 years of dating and 1 year of marriage. Unfortunately, our relationship has been strained over the past year due to financial disagreements. Before marriage, we discussed his personal loan, which was taken for a land purchase for his mother. The loan repayment amounts to 30% of his salary. He assured me that, except for this loan repayment, he would not contribute financially to his parents' expenses until the loan was paid off. However, his parents are now pressuring him to increase his financial support by 20%. They claim to need help clearing their debts, despite being below 45, physically fit, and earning a sufficient income to support themselves. This situation is causing tension in our marriage, as we had planned to save and invest together, having no property or financial security of our own. I'm finding it challenging to understand why my husband is not prioritizing our financial goals and future together. please help me on this. Thank you for your time and guidance.
Ans: The key here is to approach the situation with empathy and open communication. Your husband likely feels a strong sense of duty towards his parents, which is understandable given cultural and familial expectations. However, it’s also important for him to recognize the commitments and plans you’ve both made as a couple. Balancing these two responsibilities can be difficult, but it’s essential for the health of your relationship.

Start by having a calm and honest conversation with your husband. Express your feelings without blame, focusing on how the situation affects both of you and your shared goals. It’s important that he understands your perspective and how the financial strain is impacting not only your plans but also your emotional well-being.

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 14, 2025Hindi
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Hi Mam, I met my ex wife in the college where we both were pursuing out studies. We exchanged contacts and started speaking over phone like couple does. When we fall in live we ourselves don't know as no one propose to each other. As i finished my studies, she quit studies in the middle and decided to do hotel management course. Amd it so happened, next day her interview was lined up but unfortunately due to unavoidable circumstances she has to go to her native place. As Covid struck she git stuck in her native place and couldn't come back. And when everything became normal i insisted her to come but her mom was not allowing. After a lot of struggle her mom allowed her and she came back. In this course of time both families was aware about our relationship. My mom was against her because of 2 reasons, 1) Intercaste 2) She was from very poor and low caste background. Them too i continued the relationship and i convinced to my sister and she convinced to mom. And when she was in native place, she said once that her voice has gone has gone she need 50k for operation. I trying madly to arrange funds and one of my friend told me that she is playing with you be careful but as i was blind in love i necer listened him. When she came to Mumbai i arranged a pg accommodation for her for some time and i use to take her out for dinner as there use to be regular fights with owner. Somehow i convinced my mom and shifted her to my place. There use to be fights but we use to care for each other also at the same time. She started to do events and slowly and steadily started to work in media. She was well aware that i dont like girls working media then too i have her permission to work in media temporary. I went against everyone, my family and friend and after 7yrs of relationship we decided to get marry and it was working fine. After marriage fight increased and she used to taunt though i did so much for her. Once she was not well and as she used to taunt me i never took care of her. One day my dear friend told me to check her phone, she might be seeing someone. And when i checked she was having an affair with Assistant director, i saw msgs photos. And when i confronted she said "He is just a friend and we talk normally" I saw they both on one bed and when i forward their pics to her mom she said "There might be some problem in you only." And when i asked to my ex wife about all this she said "A person goes where he or she gets love and care" All this happened within 6-8 months of our marriage. When i came to know about all this i tod her to leave my house and she was asking for divorce because of my mon's behavior also. I think i should have not tell her to leave as when she left i don't know but i love her very much. I even told her to give me one chance as i gave her but she didn't stopped talking with her bf. And she didn't gave me a chance and went away. We have been legally divorced but still i love her and ready to accept her. But she doesn't want to come back. I am trying to forget her but couldn't. Luckily we don't have kids. Sometimes my heart says let her go she cheated you. Sometimes it says i love now also. I am struggling to forgot her as i am in contact now also. Please suggest. Thank you
Ans: it's important to acknowledge and honor the love you felt and still feel. Love doesn’t simply disappear overnight, and it’s natural to have lingering emotions, especially when you’ve shared so much history and effort to keep the relationship going. However, it’s also crucial to recognize the harm and hurt caused by her actions and the unresolved issues that led to the breakdown of your marriage.

The fact that she chose not to return and continues to maintain contact with the person she was involved with suggests that she has moved on emotionally, even if you haven’t. Holding onto hope for reconciliation can keep you trapped in a cycle of pain and longing, which makes it harder to heal and move forward.

Your heart and mind are sending you mixed signals because you’re torn between the love you still feel and the reality of the betrayal. This is a common struggle after a significant loss, but it’s important to focus on what’s best for your emotional well-being. Continuing to be in contact with her may be preventing you from healing fully. It might be beneficial to create some distance, at least temporarily, to allow yourself the space to process your feelings and begin the healing process.

Focusing on yourself and your own growth is essential. Consider engaging in activities that bring you joy, spending time with supportive friends and family, and possibly seeking professional counseling to help you work through your emotions and develop strategies to move forward.

Letting go is difficult, especially when you still have love for someone, but it’s a crucial step towards healing. Accepting that the relationship has ended and focusing on your future can help you find peace and eventually open the door to new possibilities for love and happiness.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |492 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 13, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
My partner and I are from different cultural backgrounds. She has always felt a strong spiritual connection to events like the Kumbh Mela. Earlier this year, while booking the tickets she had asked if I would like to join her as she is travelling solo. While I respect her beliefs, I refused to join because I am not a religious person. Now that she has booked her tickets, I am worried about her safety. Should I tell her to cancel her trip? I don't want her to think that I am disrespecting her choices or religion. Or should I just tag along and make her feel safe? How do I address these concerns and have a healthy conversation?
Ans: Start by having an honest conversation with her. Share your feelings about her safety in a caring and non-confrontational way. Let her know that your concern comes from a place of love and care, not from a lack of respect for her spiritual journey. It’s important to express that you understand her desire to attend the Kumbh Mela and that you support her connection to this event.

If you’re considering joining her, it could be a gesture of solidarity and support, even if you’re not personally invested in the spiritual aspect. However, it’s crucial to approach this as a way to share the experience together and ensure her safety, rather than as an obligation or with reluctance. If you decide to join her, communicate that you’re doing so because you want to be there for her, which could strengthen your relationship.

On the other hand, if you feel strongly about not attending due to personal beliefs, you can suggest other ways to support her. This might include discussing safety plans or staying in close communication while she’s there. This approach shows that you trust her decisions while still being there for her in a supportive way.

Ultimately, the conversation should aim to understand each other’s perspectives and find a solution that makes both of you feel comfortable and respected. Balancing your care for her safety with respect for her independence and beliefs is key to maintaining a healthy, supportive relationship.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |492 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 09, 2025Hindi
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I am 42 Female currently, last marriage didn't go well, afraid of new start, I neither type of person who can go to club etc etc to "find someone" - What's the best way to move forward, Do we have genuine way of finding someone who can become reliable partner too (No tinder etc as again I knw myself now at this age, I can't) - Please guide
Ans: One of the best ways to meet someone compatible is through shared interests and environments where you feel at ease. Consider engaging in activities or communities that resonate with you. This could include joining local interest groups, volunteering, or taking classes in areas you’re passionate about. These settings not only provide opportunities to meet like-minded individuals but also allow connections to develop organically over shared experiences and values.

Another valuable approach is to lean on your existing network. Friends, family, and colleagues often know you well and can introduce you to others who might be a good match. These introductions can be more comfortable and trustworthy since they come from people who understand your personality and values.

It’s also important to give yourself time and space to heal and grow from past experiences. Building a reliable and meaningful relationship starts with being in a place where you feel confident and whole on your own. This self-awareness and emotional readiness will naturally attract the right kind of partner who values and respects you for who you are.

Remember, there’s no rush or specific timeline you need to adhere to. Allow relationships to develop at a pace that feels right for you, and focus on building connections that are based on mutual respect, understanding, and shared values. Trust that the right person will come into your life when the time is right, and until then, prioritize your own happiness and well-being.

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Kanchan Rai  |492 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

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Relationship
My age is 48 years and i have one son aged 17 years and i am single son of my parents ,one and half year back my wife expired and upon insisted by my parents and close relatives i got remarried and she has one girl aged 8 years, after passing of six months she has started showing her true colors and it has become very difficult for me to continue and i want to get rid of this . Please guide me what should i do now.
Ans: Dear Dinesh,
it’s important to reflect on what is making the relationship difficult. Understanding the specific issues—whether they stem from differences in values, communication problems, or other conflicts—can provide clarity on how to move forward.

If you haven't already, consider having an open and honest conversation with your wife about your concerns. Sometimes, addressing issues directly can lead to resolutions or at least a better understanding of each other's perspectives. Counseling, either individually or as a couple, can also be a valuable tool in navigating these challenges and deciding the best course of action.

However, if you’ve already tried addressing these issues and find that the relationship is still untenable, it may be time to consider ending the marriage. It’s important to prioritize your emotional and mental well-being, as well as that of your son and stepdaughter. Divorce is never an easy decision, especially when children are involved, but staying in an unhappy and unhealthy relationship can have long-term negative impacts on everyone.

As you contemplate your next steps, it’s also important to lean on your support system. Friends, family, or a counselor can provide guidance and help you navigate this difficult period. Remember, prioritizing your well-being is not only crucial for you but also for your children, as they look to you for stability and emotional guidance. Making decisions that lead to a healthier and happier environment for everyone involved is ultimately the most important goal.

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |492 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 08, 2024
Relationship
Hello mam.I know a girl since college days.She is married to a guy since last 15 years.Since last 3 years we had an affair.I did take her for granted after our 2 nd half 3 years of relationship.Since a year now she has been giving me some or the other reason such as she is not getting feeling for me,husband is taking much care now so cant handle our relationship,then she told she has some health issue and now recently she tells me she has been telling me indirectly since a year to move on as she was in a relationship with some guy whom she got attracted in a mutual connection.But now she has discontinued with him as well. We do chat on message and call sometime but now since a year she herself has stopped calling or messaging.She replies only when i message or call. I want her back in my life and improve my relationship with her.Please guide me to get her back and have a relationship with her as we had till last year.What steps should I take to win her heart back and make her mine?
Ans: The first step is to acknowledge and respect her current feelings and boundaries. It’s clear she’s navigating her own emotional journey and trying to find clarity in her life. Pressuring her or trying to win her back without considering her current stance may push her further away.

Instead, focus on open and honest communication. If you genuinely care for her, it’s important to express your feelings without being demanding. Share how you feel, but also be willing to listen to her perspective fully. Understand that love and relationships are mutual, and both parties need to feel connected and invested.

During this time, it’s also essential to reflect on your own needs and emotional well-being. Ask yourself if this relationship, as it currently stands, is fulfilling and healthy for you. Relationships can be complicated, and sometimes stepping back to allow both people space to understand their feelings can lead to a clearer path forward, whether that’s together or apart.

Ultimately, your focus should be on building healthy, honest connections and prioritizing emotional well-being for both yourself and the people involved. If there’s a possibility of rekindling the relationship, it will come from mutual understanding, respect, and willingness from both sides.

...Read more

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