Home > Money > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7100 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 27, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jun 26, 2024Hindi
Money

Hi I have retired from govt service and I have Rs 1 lakh monthly pension. In addition to this I am working in private sector with a monthly income of 2.5 lakhs. I have 1 cr in MF, 10 lakhs in equity, 50 lakhs in real-estate and 36 Lakhs in bank FDs. I am 48 right now and want to retire by 55 with an inflow of 2 Lakhs per month

Ans: I understand your concerns and aspirations. Let's dive into crafting a comprehensive and tailored financial plan for you.

Understanding Your Financial Landscape
Firstly, congratulations on your retirement from government service and your successful transition to the private sector. Your current financial situation is quite robust, which is commendable. You have a diversified portfolio with investments in mutual funds, equity, real estate, and fixed deposits. It's crucial to analyze each of these components to create a sustainable and efficient financial strategy for your future.

Evaluating Current Investments
Mutual Funds
You have Rs 1 crore in mutual funds, which is a substantial amount. While mutual funds are generally a good investment, it's important to review the types of funds you hold. Actively managed funds, guided by experienced fund managers, often provide better returns compared to index funds. Actively managed funds adapt to market changes, potentially maximizing your returns.

Equity Investments
With Rs 10 lakhs in equity, you're already participating in the stock market, which is excellent for long-term growth. However, it's important to regularly review and possibly rebalance your equity portfolio to align with market conditions and your financial goals. Diversification within equities can also help mitigate risks.

Real Estate
You have Rs 50 lakhs in real estate. While real estate can be a stable investment, it often lacks liquidity and requires maintenance. Since you plan to retire by 55, ensuring your investments are liquid and easily accessible is crucial. Real estate might not provide the immediate cash flow you might need during retirement.

Fixed Deposits
You hold Rs 36 lakhs in bank fixed deposits. FDs are safe but offer lower returns compared to other investment options. As you approach retirement, it's essential to strike a balance between safety and growth. We might need to explore better opportunities while maintaining a portion in FDs for emergency funds.

Creating a Retirement Strategy
Assessing Retirement Goals
You aim to retire at 55 with an inflow of Rs 2 lakhs per month. Given your current financial status, achieving this goal is feasible with careful planning and strategic investments.

Income from Pension and Job
Your current monthly income is Rs 3.5 lakhs, combining your pension and job earnings. This provides a strong foundation for your retirement savings. Ensuring that your investments are optimized will help maintain this lifestyle post-retirement.

Strategic Investment Recommendations
Enhancing Mutual Fund Investments
Switching to actively managed mutual funds could be beneficial. These funds, managed by skilled professionals, have the potential to outperform the market. They adjust according to market conditions, potentially offering higher returns compared to passive index funds.

Regular Monitoring and Rebalancing
Regularly monitor and rebalance your mutual fund portfolio. Market conditions change, and rebalancing ensures your portfolio stays aligned with your financial goals. It helps in optimizing returns and managing risks effectively.

Diversification within Equities
Your equity investments should be diversified across different sectors. This minimizes risk and capitalizes on various market opportunities. Consider sectors with strong growth potential, and stay updated with market trends.

Liquidating Real Estate
Given the liquidity concerns with real estate, consider liquidating a portion of your holdings. The proceeds can be reinvested into more liquid and potentially higher-yielding investments. This ensures you have accessible funds during your retirement.

Optimizing Fixed Deposits
Maintain a portion of your wealth in fixed deposits for safety and emergencies. However, consider moving a part of these funds into better yielding, low-risk investment options. This ensures your money works harder for you while maintaining a safety net.

Financial Planning for the Future
Creating an Emergency Fund
Ensure you have an adequate emergency fund. This should cover at least six months of your expenses. It's essential for unexpected situations, providing financial security without disrupting your investment strategy.

Health Insurance
Healthcare costs can be significant, especially post-retirement. Ensure you have comprehensive health insurance coverage. This protects your savings from being depleted by medical expenses.

Estate Planning
Estate planning ensures your assets are distributed according to your wishes. It's important to have a clear will and possibly consider setting up trusts to manage your estate efficiently. This minimizes legal hassles for your heirs.

Maximizing Tax Efficiency
Tax-Advantaged Investments
Explore tax-advantaged investment options. These can significantly reduce your tax burden, increasing your net returns. Consult with a tax professional to identify the best options available to you.

Tax Planning Strategies
Implement effective tax planning strategies. This includes timing your investments, utilizing deductions, and strategically withdrawing funds. Proper tax planning can save you a considerable amount of money annually.

Long-Term Financial Goals
Retirement Corpus
Estimate the corpus needed for a comfortable retirement. Consider inflation, healthcare costs, and lifestyle aspirations. Ensure your investment strategy is aligned to achieve this corpus by the time you turn 55.

Sustainable Withdrawal Strategy
Develop a sustainable withdrawal strategy for your retirement years. This involves determining how much you can withdraw annually without depleting your savings. A well-planned strategy ensures financial stability throughout your retirement.

Empathetic Considerations
Balancing Lifestyle and Savings
It's important to balance your current lifestyle with your savings goals. Enjoying life today while planning for a secure future is essential. Make sure your financial plan accommodates your current and future needs.

Appreciating Your Efforts
You've done an excellent job in building a diverse investment portfolio. Your disciplined approach and foresight are commendable. It's now about fine-tuning your strategy to ensure long-term security and comfort.

Final Insights
You've built a strong financial foundation with your pension, job income, and diverse investments. With a few strategic adjustments, you can enhance your portfolio's performance and ensure a comfortable retirement by 55. Focus on optimizing your mutual funds, diversifying equities, and managing liquidity. Regular monitoring, effective tax planning, and a sustainable withdrawal strategy are key. Your commitment to securing your financial future is impressive, and with careful planning, your retirement goals are within reach.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
Money

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7100 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 13, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 04, 2024Hindi
Money
Sir I am 48 and qant to retire by 55. I have 62 lakhs in Mutual funds (SIP) with monthly investment of rs 40000/month . PF corpus of 40 lakhs , PPF of 25lakhs , fixed property one 3BHK & One 2BHK , 5 acres crop land . I want 1.5lakhs /month post retirement . Your advice please
Ans: Retirement planning is essential for a comfortable and stress-free life. At 48, you have a solid foundation, but it is crucial to refine your strategy to ensure your retirement goals are met. Let’s delve into various aspects to create a robust plan.

Current Financial Snapshot
Mutual Funds
You have Rs 62 lakhs in mutual funds through SIPs, investing Rs 40,000 monthly. This is a strong base and indicates a disciplined approach to wealth creation.

Provident Fund
Your PF corpus of Rs 40 lakhs adds a significant cushion to your retirement fund. PF is a stable and low-risk investment, ensuring consistent growth.

Public Provident Fund
With Rs 25 lakhs in PPF, you have another reliable source of tax-free returns. PPF is an excellent long-term investment with good compounding benefits.

Real Estate
Owning a 3BHK and a 2BHK, along with 5 acres of crop land, provides tangible assets. While real estate offers security, consider its liquidity and maintenance costs.

Retirement Income Needs
Monthly Requirement
You aim for Rs 1.5 lakhs per month post-retirement. This amount should cover your living expenses, healthcare, and leisure activities.

Investment Strategy
Mutual Funds
Actively Managed Funds: Actively managed funds outperform index funds over time. They provide the advantage of professional management, aiming for higher returns. This approach ensures better alignment with market conditions.

Regular Funds vs. Direct Funds: Regular funds, managed by a Certified Financial Planner (CFP), offer personalized advice. The expertise of a CFP helps in navigating market complexities and adjusting the portfolio as needed.

Provident Fund and PPF
Consistency and Growth: Continue investing in PF and PPF to ensure steady growth and tax benefits. These funds provide stability to your retirement corpus.

Diversification
Balanced Portfolio: Maintain a balanced portfolio with a mix of equity and debt. This balance mitigates risks and ensures steady growth. Diversify across various sectors and asset classes.

Crop Land
Agricultural Income: Utilize your crop land for consistent agricultural income. Explore sustainable farming practices or leasing options to maximize returns.

Retirement Corpus Calculation
Future Value: Estimate the future value of your current investments. Regular reviews and adjustments by a CFP will help achieve your target corpus. Ensure your investments grow to meet your post-retirement needs.

Adjusting Investment Strategy
Increasing SIPs
Boost SIP Contributions: Consider increasing your SIP contributions gradually. This will enhance your mutual fund corpus over time, ensuring better returns.

Exploring New Avenues
Equity Funds: Allocate a portion of your portfolio to high-performing equity funds. Equities have the potential for higher returns, aiding in building a substantial corpus.

Debt Funds: Include debt funds for stability and regular income. Debt funds balance the risk-return equation, providing a safety net against market volatility.

Regular Reviews
Annual Check-ups: Conduct annual reviews of your portfolio with a CFP. Regular assessments ensure your investments are on track and aligned with your goals.

Healthcare and Emergency Fund
Health Insurance
Comprehensive Coverage: Ensure you have comprehensive health insurance coverage. Healthcare costs can be significant, and insurance protects your savings.

Emergency Fund
Accessible Savings: Maintain an emergency fund equivalent to 6-12 months of expenses. This fund should be easily accessible for unforeseen situations.

Lifestyle and Expenses
Cost of Living
Inflation Adjustment: Factor in inflation while planning your post-retirement expenses. Ensure your corpus can sustain your lifestyle for the long term.

Lifestyle Choices
Budget Planning: Plan your budget to include leisure activities and hobbies. A well-balanced life post-retirement contributes to overall happiness and well-being.

Tax Planning
Efficient Tax Management
Tax-saving Instruments: Utilize tax-saving instruments to minimize tax liabilities. Investments in PPF, ELSS, and other tax-saving schemes help in efficient tax planning.

Withdrawals and Taxes
Planned Withdrawals: Plan your withdrawals from various investments to minimize tax impact. Consult with a CFP for tax-efficient withdrawal strategies.

Estate Planning
Will and Testament
Legal Documentation: Ensure you have a will in place. Proper estate planning ensures your assets are distributed according to your wishes.

Nomination and Succession
Clear Nominations: Review and update nominations for all your investments. Clear succession planning avoids legal complications and ensures smooth asset transfer.

Professional Guidance
Certified Financial Planner
Expert Advice: Engage with a Certified Financial Planner for personalized advice. A CFP provides comprehensive financial planning, helping you achieve your retirement goals.

Regular Consultations
Ongoing Support: Regular consultations with your CFP ensure your plan adapts to changing circumstances. Continuous support helps in making informed decisions.

Final Insights
Planning for retirement is a continuous journey. You have a strong foundation with your current investments. Regular contributions, diversified portfolio, and professional guidance are key. Ensure your investments align with your goals, providing a secure and comfortable retirement.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7100 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 10, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 23, 2024Hindi
Money
Hello, I am 32 Years old with a Loan of 1.25 cr on my 4 Properties earning Annually approx 18-20 lakhs (excluding Rental Income). Balance of SSY and PPF is 9.5 lakh as of now. I wish to retire by 50 with a monthly income of 5 lakh.
Ans: It’s great that you’re thinking about your financial future and planning for retirement. At 32 years old, you have a solid foundation with four properties and an annual income of 18-20 lakhs. Your balance of 9.5 lakhs in SSY and PPF is a good start. Let’s dive into your goal of retiring by 50 with a monthly income of 5 lakhs.

Current Financial Snapshot
Income and Assets
Annual Income: 18-20 lakhs (excluding rental income)
Properties: 4 properties with a loan of 1.25 crores
SSY and PPF: 9.5 lakhs balance
Liabilities
Loan: 1.25 crores on properties
Retirement Goal
Retirement Age: 50 years
Monthly Income Post-Retirement: 5 lakhs
Planning for Retirement
Evaluating Your Goals
Retiring at 50 with a monthly income of 5 lakhs is ambitious but achievable with the right strategy. It’s important to consider inflation, investment returns, and tax implications.

Creating a Retirement Corpus
To achieve a monthly income of 5 lakhs post-retirement, you need a substantial corpus. Assuming a lifespan of 80 years, you need to plan for 30 years of retirement. Let’s break down the steps to create this corpus.

Investment Strategy
Diversifying Investments
Equity Mutual Funds: High growth potential but volatile. Ideal for long-term growth.
Debt Mutual Funds: Provide stability and regular income. Lower returns compared to equity.
Hybrid Funds: A mix of equity and debt. Balanced approach.
SSY and PPF: Safe and tax-efficient. Continue contributions.
Power of Compounding
Investing early allows your money to grow exponentially due to compounding. The longer the investment period, the greater the growth. Start investing regularly and stay committed.

Managing Liabilities
Loan Repayment
Your 1.25 crore loan on properties needs to be managed efficiently. Prioritize loan repayment to reduce interest burden. Consider prepaying whenever possible.

Rental Income
Utilize rental income to support loan repayments and boost savings. Rental income can also supplement your retirement corpus.

Detailed Investment Plan
Equity Mutual Funds
Equity mutual funds are essential for long-term growth. They offer high returns but come with market volatility. Diversify across different types:

Large-Cap Funds: Invest in well-established companies. Lower risk.
Mid-Cap Funds: Invest in medium-sized companies. Higher growth potential.
Small-Cap Funds: Invest in smaller companies. Highest growth potential but high risk.
Flexi-Cap Funds: Invest across all market capitalizations. Provides flexibility and diversification.
Debt Mutual Funds
Debt funds offer stability and are less volatile than equity funds. They are ideal for generating regular income and preserving capital. Types of debt funds:

Liquid Funds: Short-term investments with high liquidity.
Short-Term Debt Funds: Suitable for 1-3 year investment horizon.
Long-Term Debt Funds: Suitable for more than 3 years. Provides better returns with moderate risk.
Hybrid Funds
Hybrid funds invest in both equity and debt, offering a balanced approach. They aim to provide growth with stability. Types of hybrid funds:

Balanced Funds: Equal exposure to equity and debt.
Aggressive Hybrid Funds: Higher exposure to equity.
Conservative Hybrid Funds: Higher exposure to debt.
Safe and Tax-Efficient Investments
SSY and PPF
Continue contributing to SSY and PPF. They offer tax benefits and guaranteed returns. Ideal for long-term savings.

Systematic Investment Plan (SIP)
Regular investments through SIPs in mutual funds can help build a substantial corpus over time. SIPs provide the benefit of rupee cost averaging and compounding.

Tax Planning
Efficient Withdrawal Strategy
Plan your withdrawals to minimize tax liabilities. Utilize the annual tax exemptions on long-term capital gains.

Tax-Efficient Investments
Invest in instruments that offer tax benefits under Section 80C, such as ELSS funds, PPF, and SSY.

Risk Management
Insurance
Ensure you have adequate life and health insurance. It protects your family and your investments in case of unforeseen events.

Emergency Fund
Maintain an emergency fund to cover 6-12 months of expenses. It provides financial security during unexpected situations.

Monitoring and Rebalancing
Regular Review
Review your portfolio annually to ensure it aligns with your goals. Make adjustments based on market conditions and personal circumstances.

Rebalancing
Rebalance your portfolio periodically to maintain the desired asset allocation. It helps manage risk and optimize returns.

Benefits of Actively Managed Funds
Professional Management
Actively managed funds are managed by professional fund managers who make investment decisions based on market research and analysis.

Potential for Higher Returns
Active management aims to outperform the market by selecting high-potential securities. It can provide higher returns compared to passive funds.

Flexibility
Fund managers can respond to market changes and take advantage of investment opportunities, offering flexibility and adaptability.

Final Insights
You have a solid foundation with a diversified investment strategy and a clear retirement goal. To retire by 50 with a monthly income of 5 lakhs, focus on:

Diversifying Investments: Spread investments across equity, debt, and hybrid funds.
Managing Liabilities: Prioritize loan repayment and utilize rental income.
Compounding: Start early and stay invested for long-term growth.
Tax Planning: Optimize withdrawals and invest in tax-efficient instruments.
Risk Management: Ensure adequate insurance and maintain an emergency fund.
Regular Monitoring: Review and rebalance your portfolio periodically.
Your proactive approach and disciplined investing will help you achieve your retirement goal. Stay committed and keep monitoring your progress.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7100 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 30, 2024

Listen
Money
I am 40 years old. I have 3 plots worth 40 lakhs, 10 lacs in MF, 8 lacs in PPF, 6 lacs in SSY. I have two daughters of 8 years and 3 years. My current salary is 1 lac per month.I want retirement at 50 with 1 lac per month regular income.
Ans: You have a solid foundation. Your assets include three plots worth Rs 40 lakhs, Rs 10 lakhs in mutual funds, Rs 8 lakhs in PPF, and Rs 6 lakhs in SSY. Your monthly salary is Rs 1 lakh. Your goal is to retire at 50 with a monthly income of Rs 1 lakh.

Assessing Existing Investments
Real Estate Holdings

You have three plots worth Rs 40 lakhs. Real estate can be a stable asset. However, it's less liquid. You may consider keeping these plots for long-term appreciation. Avoid additional real estate investments for diversification.

Mutual Funds

You have Rs 10 lakhs in mutual funds. Actively managed funds are beneficial. They offer better returns than index funds due to expert management. Direct funds lack personalized advice. Investing through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) ensures guidance and higher returns.

Public Provident Fund (PPF)

You have Rs 8 lakhs in PPF. PPF is a secure, long-term investment. It offers tax benefits and decent returns. Continue investing in PPF for risk-free growth.

Sukanya Samriddhi Yojana (SSY)

You have Rs 6 lakhs in SSY for your daughters. This scheme offers high interest rates and tax benefits. Continue contributions for your daughters’ future needs.

Retirement Planning
To achieve your goal, you need a strategy. Here are the key steps:

Increase Mutual Fund Investments

Increase monthly SIPs in actively managed funds.
Aim for a diversified portfolio of equity, debt, and balanced funds.
Consult a CFP for personalized fund selection.
Maximize PPF Contributions

Max out your PPF contributions annually.
Benefit from the compound interest and tax savings.
Consider SSY for Daughters

Keep contributing to SSY for long-term benefits.
This will secure their education and marriage expenses.
Future Contributions and Savings
Monthly Savings Allocation

Increase your savings rate. Aim for 30-40% of your income.
Allocate funds to PPF, SSY, and mutual funds.
Emergency Fund

Maintain an emergency fund covering 6-12 months of expenses.
Keep this fund in a liquid asset like a savings account or liquid fund.
Insurance Needs
Life Insurance

Ensure adequate life insurance coverage.
Term insurance is a cost-effective option.
Coverage should be at least 10 times your annual income.
Health Insurance

Have a comprehensive health insurance plan for your family.
Ensure it covers all major illnesses and hospitalization expenses.
Tax Planning
Tax-Saving Investments

Utilize tax-saving options like ELSS, PPF, and SSY.
This will reduce your taxable income and enhance savings.
Final Insights
Your current financial position is strong. With focused planning, you can achieve your retirement goal. Prioritize diversified investments, tax planning, and insurance. Regularly review your portfolio with a Certified Financial Planner. This approach will ensure a secure and comfortable retirement.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7100 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 27, 2024

Listen
Money
Sir I am 48 years old and would like to retire by 55 years. I am investing Rs 70 K per month in MF through SIP for the last 7 years & have a corpus of close to Rs 1.3 CR. Shres separe portfolio and invested Rs 25 Lakhs & value today Rs 45 Lakhs. I have 2 shops & getting monthly rent of Rs 15 K & one independent house & flat 3 bHk in Bhopal so getting another 15 K rent. The property value all put together will be 2.5 CR & a loan of 20 lakh housing for my current appartment where I am staying. Therefore I need atleast 1.20 Lakhs as retirement corpus at the age of 55. Please advice
Ans: You aim to retire by 55 years. You currently invest Rs 70,000 per month in mutual funds through SIPs and have accumulated a corpus of Rs 1.3 crore over the last 7 years. Your goal is to secure Rs 1.20 lakhs per month as a retirement corpus. Let's evaluate your current investments and how to achieve this goal.

Evaluating Current Investments

Mutual Funds: Rs 1.3 crore corpus from 7 years of Rs 70,000 monthly SIPs.

Stocks: Invested Rs 25 lakhs, now valued at Rs 45 lakhs.

Rental Income: Rs 15,000 monthly from two shops and Rs 15,000 monthly from residential properties.

Property Value: Total property value of Rs 2.5 crore, with a Rs 20 lakh housing loan.

Steps to Achieve Your Retirement Goal

Continue SIP Investments: Maintain or increase your SIP investments to grow your corpus.

Diversify Portfolio: Balance your portfolio with equity, debt, and balanced funds for stability and growth.

Review Stock Portfolio: Ensure your stock portfolio is diversified to minimize risk and maximize returns.

Utilize Rental Income: Use rental income to supplement monthly expenses and potentially reinvest a portion.

Analyzing the Adequacy of SIP Amount

Future Value Projection: Calculate the potential growth of your current SIPs and corpus to estimate future value.

Inflation Adjustment: Consider the impact of inflation on your retirement corpus needs.

Evaluating Real Estate Holdings

Rental Income: Continue leveraging rental income for additional cash flow.

Property Value: Assess the potential appreciation of your properties over time.

Addressing Housing Loan

Repayment Plan: Develop a strategy to repay the Rs 20 lakh housing loan before retirement.
Alternative Investment Strategies

Actively Managed Funds: Consider the benefits of actively managed funds over index funds for potentially higher returns.

Regular Funds via CFP: Highlight the advantages of regular funds and professional guidance from a CFP over direct funds.

Final Insights

Diversification: A diversified investment portfolio balances risk and reward.

Regular Review: Periodically review your investment strategy to ensure alignment with retirement goals.

Professional Guidance: Seek advice from a Certified Financial Planner for personalized financial planning.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Latest Questions
Anu

Anu Krishna  |1321 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 22, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 28, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Hi sir, I am 40 yr old having work-expereince of 10 yrs behind me in ITes, customer support & service, banking and sales & marketing (product). My life till now can easily be converted into a bollywood biopic having its own twist & turns, roadblocks, struggles laughter, joy and sorrow. Change is the only constant in life and that exactly applies in my case. Although it has been a satisfactorily life till now given that I know myself and how I lead my life. Whenever I start to read something new I feel like going deep into it. I am also easily attracted to novel things & concepts. I usually get into procastination mode whenever I come across something entirely new and start to imagine myself trying it out in realilty.Why does this happens? Why can't I focus on one single thing at a time and see it to completion? I know in todays world generalists are looked down upon and it is an era of specialists, experts and professionals having good domain knowledge of their area of work. It is always better to be an expert than be a jack of all trades (which seems very filmy nowadays where a hero is expected to do everything on his own). Lately I have developed an avid interest in technology and i keep on reading various articles & books on IT and technology. I am also pursuing an online cyber security course from Great Learning Institute, Bangalore. I want to know am I going in the correct direction in life or is it something else I should do which ensures more satisfaction in life? Lately, I have become bit irriiated as well due to the above reasons as I tend to do multiple things at a time (multitasking). My parents are also fed up of me now. My mother keeps nagging me all day.I dont know how to really deal with her, as she always finds perfection in everything. That becomes too much at times. Does this happens in every household? Should I go out and travel to some place in order to temporarily escape from all this? Kindly suggest me some course of action. Pls answer. Thanks
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You will be distracted and keep trying new things until you actually figure out what you want for yourself in life.
- How does you life seem like a few years down the line?
- What must you do NOW to actually get to where you want in life?

And to answer these questions, you first need to identify a strong, solid goal in life. Either you work with a mentor or your boss or a friend or an expert who can help you identify your goal and purpose. That might help you stay the course and actually streamline your thoughts, your job and your daily life.
Travel used for learning is great but using it to escape only worsens things...So, work on Goal-Setting!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1321 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 22, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 16, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Hi , I am a professor mech engineer , after death of my wife and due to having 5 year girl baby I planned for 2 nd marriage as I live alone away from home town because my of job with my little baby . I accepted a widow having 2 child ,she was working in a govt job 250 km away , after ensuring and agreeing her possibility of transfer and job vacancy @govt office near my house and ensuring she agreed that she will come to live with me along with her 2 kids and my little baby as her trasfer was due in comming few months . We lived apart during her job at 250 km away.,while meeting on weekly offs 6 /7 time in 6 months , then she take 360 degree u turn and said she will not get job transfer to my place and get her trasfer in other dept. in same previous office. And started telling many reasons like she will loose her children's inheritance in her in-laws property ,she will loose promotion , kids Don't want trasfer , and said we will live apart forever . This was contradictory to earlier agreed things .and my my purpose to live in family with my baby not fulfilled , so after long ruckus ,I mutually got divorce from her , Then After divorce I decided to marry non working women having no child and don't expect child as I am @48 year old and tired of living alone and managing job ,girl , house chores . I married to a divorcee girl from Pune ,she was BA first year college drop out girl of 44 yr age after 6 months of long dating on week ends . During 6 months I tried to know her indepth but was don't used to talk much as I was trying to know her true nature, we visited many places ,movies . She seemed perfect as per my requirement of girl wanting no child , and she is house wife . after marriage she behave well for 1 st week ,then she started trouble to hate my baby ( became kaikai )on pety things , she want my baby to house chores at the cost of her important year of 10th std study . She don't liked me taking tution of girl , she didn't like if I help my girl any way . She don't like if I spent some money on my girl . She used to fight all night and don't let me sleep . Now she stated demanding that she want baby , though I was against and b4 marriage agreed to not have any more child due to old age ,cost ,and no personal time for self , then I agreed to have child but b4 that I got her and my fertility tested ,she had weak eggs and syst on her reproductive organs and doc warned to not go for pregnancy due to risk and probability of unhealthy baby birth , but she kept repeating That she want child we consulted 4 Drs. She used to fight and go to her mother's home for 2/4 months after living with me for 2/3 days only . Now she wants divorce , and asks me to keep my girl in hostel if I want her in my life . This Ramayan has left me baffled , What should I do ??? .....
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
The reason to marry for you mainly has been companionship, a mother for your daughter...
And marriage is not a transaction BUT a meeting of minds...when there is no compatibility, there is no space for agreeing on the same things or wanting to make things work which is possibly what has happened with your 2nd and 3rd marriage.
If you want this marriage to work, there has to be an equal commitment by both of you, so, start by emotionally bonding first. Slowly build on this by making goals for the marriage and the future...your only goal can't be mother for your child...not all women are going to readily accept this and some may even falter along the way. Allow the lady and your daughter to bond together for sometime so they develop a unique relationship...
Understand that transactional relationships do not last; so, invest enough time in building trust in that companionship for it to become something meaningful

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1321 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 22, 2024

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x