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25-Year-Old Engaged Aspiring Homeowner: How to Buy a House with No Savings?

Milind

Milind Vadjikar  | Answer  |Ask -

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Nov 27, 2024

Milind Vadjikar is an independent MF distributor registered with Association of Mutual Funds in India (AMFI) and a retirement financial planning advisor registered with Pension Fund Regulatory and Development Authority (PFRDA).
He has a mechanical engineering degree from Government Engineering College, Sambhajinagar, and an MBA in international business from the Symbiosis Institute of Business Management, Pune.
With over 16 years of experience in stock investments, and over six year experience in investment guidance and support, he believes that balanced asset allocation and goal-focused disciplined investing is the key to achieving investor goals.... more
Mohammed Question by Mohammed on Nov 23, 2024Hindi
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"I am currently 25 years old, and I’ve been working since I was 15. I’m already engaged and getting married in February, but I don’t have any savings or extra money. I am just a 12th-pass, earning a low salary of ?15,000 per month while managing family responsibilities. With no savings or resources to invest, I feel lost about how to buy a house. Owning a house seems like it could solve many of my problems. How can I achieve this given my current situation?"

Ans: Hello;

Firstly congrats on your engagement.

There are various affordable housing schemes operated by the central government (PMAY) as well as several state governments(DDA housing scheme, MHADA lottery scheme, TN housing board scheme)as well.

You may seek house through these schemes.

Also you may focus on improving your earnings so that you can generate some savings which may be invested for future needs.

Best wishes;
Asked on - Nov 27, 2024 | Answered on Nov 27, 2024
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Thank you so much for the kind wishes and thoughtful advice! I truly appreciate you pointing me toward affordable housing schemes like PMAY and others at the state level. I’ll definitely look into them and see if I qualify. I also understand the importance of improving my earnings and building savings for future needs. It’s something I’m working on, though it’s a bit challenging right now with my current responsibilities. Thanks again for your support and guidance. Best wishes to you too! ????
Ans: You are most welcome!!
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |9126 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 11, 2024

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Hi sir, I want to buy a house but my bad I had no knowledge of saving money and till date not done any!!! I am 34 yrs and working in manufacturing industry, have two daughters aged 4 and 15 months old!! Can u please help me ???? and give the best ways to save money and have house.... My CTC is 9.63LPA.
Ans: It's great that you're looking to start saving for a house despite not having done so in the past. Here's a step-by-step guide to help you get started:

Create a Budget: Begin by tracking your monthly expenses and income. This will give you a clear picture of where your money is going and where you can cut back to save more.

Set Savings Goals: Determine how much you need for a down payment on your house. Factor in other expenses like closing costs, moving expenses, and any repairs or renovations you may need to make.

Emergency Fund: Before you start saving for your house, ensure you have an emergency fund to cover unexpected expenses like medical bills or car repairs. Aim for 3-6 months' worth of living expenses.

Automate Savings: Set up automatic transfers from your salary account to a separate savings account dedicated to your house fund. This will help you save consistently without having to think about it.

Cut Expenses: Look for areas where you can cut back on expenses to free up more money for savings. This could include dining out less, cancelling unused subscriptions, or finding cheaper alternatives for everyday expenses.

Increase Income: Consider ways to increase your income, such as taking on a side hustle or exploring opportunities for career advancement or higher-paying jobs.

Explore Government Schemes: Look into government schemes or subsidies available for first-time homebuyers in your area. These programs may offer financial assistance or lower interest rates on home loans.

Consult a Financial Advisor: Consider consulting with a financial advisor who can help you create a personalized savings plan tailored to your financial situation and goals.

Remember, saving for a house is a long-term goal that requires patience and discipline. Stay focused on your objectives, and celebrate small victories along the way. With determination and smart financial planning, you can achieve your dream of homeownership for your family.

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |9126 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 14, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 01, 2024Hindi
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Hi, I'm a 27 year old, starting this month my in hand salary is going to cross 2 lakh pm, so far I am investing in step up SIPs mainly small and midcap, around 22k pm, and I have a trading capital of 3 lakhs, I have an emergency fund of around 1.5 lakh in my savings account, apart from this I don't have any savings except my pf, currently I have an active car loan EMI of 15k pm and education loan EMI of 15k pm and I also support my family, my family or I don't own any house, and we live in different cities on rent, so the total expenses sums up to around 90-95k pm and my family is constantly asking me to buy a house on loan, but I don't even have corpus for paying the down payment yet, and also I have not seriously thought about buying my own house in my 20s, what would you suggest, also if I had to, how should I save up for the down payment
Ans: Congratulations on your increased salary! That's a great achievement. Let's discuss your situation and how to navigate between your financial goals:

1. Financial Snapshot:

Strong Start! Investing Rs. 22,000 per month in SIPs and having an emergency fund shows financial responsibility.

Balancing Responsibilities: Supporting your family while managing EMIs and rent is commendable.

2. Homeownership vs. Other Goals:

Family Pressure: It's understandable that your family wants you to buy a house. However, prioritize your financial goals first.

Owning vs. Renting: Homeownership comes with responsibilities and hidden costs. Renting allows for flexibility in your current situation.

3. Prioritizing Your Goals:

Debt Management: Focus on paying off your car and education loans early. This frees up cash flow for other goals.

Emergency Fund: Consider increasing your emergency fund to 3-6 months of your living expenses for unexpected situations.

Investing for Growth: Your SIPs in Small and Mid Cap funds are good for long-term wealth creation. Actively managed funds like these have fund managers who try to outperform the market by picking stocks they believe will grow.

4. Saving for a Down Payment (if needed):

Increase Savings: Once your EMIs are paid off, consider increasing your SIP amount or starting a dedicated SIP for a down payment.

Review and Rebalance: A Certified Financial Planner (CFP) can review your investments and suggest adjustments to potentially reach your down payment goal faster.

Remember, financial planning is a journey, not a destination. Consulting a CFP can help you create a roadmap that balances your financial obligations, long-term goals, and your family's needs.

Here's the key takeaway: You're making smart financial decisions! Focus on debt repayment, emergency savings, and long-term investing. Owning a house is a great goal, but prioritize according to your current situation. A CFP can help you create a personalized plan.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |9126 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Aug 13, 2024

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Hi' I am 37 yrs old married with wife working and hardly get 45 k per month both.we have two kids aged 9 and 5 and both are studying.we are planning to buy one house in which I need to pay 20 lacs as a half payment.pls suggest us how we can manage this much of amount within 5 to 10 years. Our current monthly expenses are arround 30k something.pls help me to get this much amount at the earliest.
Ans: You have a combined monthly income of Rs 1.45 lakhs. Your expenses are Rs 30,000, leaving you with Rs 1.15 lakhs. You plan to buy a house and need Rs 20 lakhs in 5 to 10 years. This is achievable with disciplined planning and focused savings.

Setting a Realistic Savings Goal
You need to accumulate Rs 20 lakhs. Here's how you can break it down:

Monthly Savings Target: To reach Rs 20 lakhs in 5 years, save Rs 30,000-35,000 monthly. In 10 years, you’ll need to save Rs 15,000-20,000 monthly.

Prioritize: Saving for the house should be your top financial goal. Cut down on non-essential expenses.

Review Periodically: Regularly assess your savings progress. Adjust your plan if needed.

Budgeting and Cash Flow Management
Your current expenses are Rs 30,000. You can increase your savings by managing your cash flow effectively:

Essential vs. Non-Essential: Identify essential expenses like food, utilities, and school fees. Limit non-essential spending like dining out and entertainment.

Increase Savings: Aim to save Rs 40,000-50,000 monthly. This includes the savings target for the house.

Emergency Fund: Maintain an emergency fund. This should cover 6 months of expenses.

Investment Strategy for House Purchase
To accumulate Rs 20 lakhs, a well-planned investment strategy is crucial:

Balanced Portfolio: Invest in a mix of equity, debt, and hybrid instruments. This will help you balance risk and return.

Active Fund Management: Avoid index funds. Actively managed funds offer better potential returns, especially in a dynamic market.

Systematic Investment Plan (SIP): Start SIPs to regularly invest small amounts. This will help you build the corpus over time.

Monitor Performance: Regularly review your investments. Adjust your portfolio as needed based on market conditions.

Debt Management
Currently, you have no specific loans mentioned, but planning to buy a house will involve a significant financial commitment:

Avoid Unnecessary Debt: Don’t take on new debt until you have accumulated enough savings for the house.

Home Loan Planning: When taking a home loan, ensure the EMI is affordable. It should not exceed 40% of your combined monthly income.

Prepayment Strategy: If possible, make prepayments on the home loan. This will reduce your interest burden.

Children's Education Planning
Your children are 9 and 5 years old. Their education expenses will rise in the coming years:

Separate Education Fund: Start a dedicated education fund for your children. This will prevent any dip into your house savings.

SIP for Education: Start SIPs to build an education corpus. Align the investment horizon with their education milestones.

Review Regularly: Track the progress of the education fund. Adjust contributions as needed to ensure sufficient funds.

Insurance and Protection
Insurance is vital to protect your family and financial goals:

Life Insurance: Ensure you have adequate life insurance coverage. This will secure your family’s future in case of unforeseen events.

Health Insurance: A good health insurance policy is necessary to cover medical expenses. It will prevent you from dipping into your savings.

Home Loan Insurance: When taking a home loan, consider insurance to cover the loan. This will protect your family from the burden of repayment.

Tax Planning
Effective tax planning can enhance your savings:

Utilize Deductions: Use available tax deductions on investments, health insurance premiums, and home loan interest.

Tax-Advantaged Investments: Invest in tax-saving instruments that align with your house purchase goal. This will reduce your tax liability.

Plan Early: Start tax planning at the beginning of the financial year. This will avoid a last-minute rush.

Final Insights
You have a clear goal of buying a house. With disciplined savings, smart investments, and proper planning, you can achieve this in 5 to 10 years. Regularly review your progress and adjust your plan as needed. Your determination will lead to the fulfillment of your dream home.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |9126 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - May 13, 2025
Money
Hello Sir, I am 40 years old. My income is 1 lakh per month. Currently, I have a personal loan running at the rate of 13.25%. After paying prepayment and EMI, I have Rs 248547 left to pay. Apart from this, I have two more loans of Rs 80000 and Rs 200000 running without interest rate. HDFC Bank will levy penalty on prepayment of these. In my savings, I have Mutual Funds of Rs 12000 per month, PPF of Rs 1000 per month and LIC of Rs 110308 and Term Plan of Rs 20000 per year and Health Insurance Policy of Rs 20000 per year. My family consists of my wife and me. How do I plan to buy a house in future?
Ans: You have already taken a few disciplined steps which deserve appreciation. Your monthly savings in mutual funds, PPF, and insurance plans show commitment. You are also aware of your loan obligations. This clarity is important for long-term wealth creation and goal planning.

Let us now structure a 360-degree financial roadmap to help you plan for a house purchase in the future. This plan will ensure balance between loan repayment, savings, and future commitments.

Understanding Your Current Financial Position
You are 40 years old. Your household consists of you and your wife.

You earn Rs 1 lakh per month. This is your only source of income.

You have three loan liabilities. One is a personal loan of Rs 2.48 lakhs at 13.25% interest.

Other two loans of Rs 80,000 and Rs 2 lakhs carry no interest. But, prepayment penalty exists.

You invest Rs 12,000 monthly in mutual funds.

PPF contribution is Rs 1,000 monthly. This gives safe and long-term tax-free returns.

LIC policy of Rs 1,10,308 exists. Also, you have a term insurance of Rs 20,000 per year.

Health insurance premium of Rs 20,000 annually is also in place.

Step 1: Focus on Clearing High-Interest Debt First
Personal loan has the highest interest at 13.25%. Clear this loan first.

Avoid new investments till this loan is cleared. Your return from mutual funds is not guaranteed.

But your interest on the personal loan is guaranteed loss of 13.25%.

Pause SIPs temporarily, and divert that Rs 12,000 monthly towards personal loan prepayment.

Even pausing for 6-9 months will reduce your loan burden significantly.

This will also improve your credit score. Which will help in getting better home loan offers later.

Do not prepay zero-interest loans right now. Their prepayment penalty adds no value.

First, clear personal loan. Then revisit the other two loans.

Once this is done, restart your SIPs with a better mindset and structure.

Step 2: Review and Optimise Insurance Commitments
Term insurance of Rs 20,000 per year is ideal. Do not discontinue it.

You have health cover for Rs 20,000 annual premium. Please check sum insured.

Minimum Rs 10 lakh floater policy is advisable. Medical costs rise every year.

If your policy is under 5 lakh, consider upgrading it in future.

You hold a LIC policy of Rs 1,10,308. Most likely this is an endowment or traditional policy.

Such policies give poor returns, between 4 to 5% post-tax. Returns are not inflation-beating.

It also locks your money for long periods.

Please assess surrender value from your LIC agent.

If your policy is older than 3 years and surrender value is decent, consider surrendering it.

Reinvest that amount in mutual funds through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP).

Insurance should be only for protection. Never mix investment with insurance.

Step 3: Restructure and Reassess Monthly Investments
After clearing personal loan, reassign the Rs 12,000 SIP amount properly.

You should invest in regular mutual funds with help from a qualified CFP and MFD.

Avoid direct funds. Direct plans lack handholding, market timing, and asset rebalancing support.

A certified planner gives holistic asset allocation advice, goal planning and emotional support.

Also avoid index funds. Index funds follow market blindly. No downside protection during market crash.

Actively managed funds can outperform during volatility. A good fund manager makes a difference.

Structured allocation among flexi-cap, large and mid-cap, and multi-asset is best suited for you.

Debt funds for short term needs. Hybrid or equity for long term goals like house purchase.

All this should be personalised through a planner, not based on online trends.

Step 4: Set a Clear Time Frame for House Purchase
You must decide when you want to buy the house.

If your goal is to buy within 2-3 years, avoid equity-based instruments for this goal.

Use high quality debt mutual funds or recurring deposit to build down payment.

Your EMI eligibility depends on income, credit score, existing loan burden and age.

After personal loan closure, your CIBIL score will improve.

You can save Rs 20,000 to Rs 25,000 monthly post-loan repayment.

Save this into a dedicated goal-based mutual fund or recurring deposit for house purchase.

If the time horizon is 5-7 years, balanced advantage or hybrid mutual funds are suitable.

These offer better returns than FD and lesser risk than pure equity.

Your down payment target should be at least 25% of the house cost.

Do not commit EMI more than 35-40% of your monthly income. Keep it comfortable.

Plan for additional costs like registration, interiors and moving expenses.

Also keep emergency fund ready before taking the house loan.

Step 5: Create Emergency Reserve
You must keep an emergency fund of minimum 4-6 months of expenses.

This fund helps in medical emergency, job loss or delay in loan processing.

Emergency fund can be kept in a liquid mutual fund or high yield savings account.

This reserve should be available before you take a home loan.

Avoid touching your PPF for emergencies. PPF is for long-term retirement planning.

Step 6: Optimise Your PPF Contributions
Rs 1,000 per month in PPF is a good start.

If you get bonus or extra cash in hand, increase this to Rs 5,000 to Rs 10,000 monthly.

PPF gives tax-free returns and is best suited for retirement planning.

This can become your future pension pool when you retire at 60.

Do not use PPF to fund the house. Let it grow silently in background.

Step 7: Build Your Credit Worthiness for Home Loan
Close all high-interest loans as discussed earlier.

Keep all EMIs paid on time without default. This improves your credit score.

Avoid taking new credit cards or loans in short term.

Keep your existing credit usage within 30% of card limit.

When applying for home loan, a clean credit history gets you best rate offers.

With high credit score, your home loan interest rate will be lower.

A lower interest rate reduces EMI burden and total outflow.

Step 8: Estimate Property Budget and EMI Affordability
Do not fix the property budget first. First assess EMI affordability.

With Rs 1 lakh income, EMI should not cross Rs 35,000 to Rs 40,000.

Plan your house cost in a way where down payment is 25% and EMI is within limits.

Take a home loan only when you are mentally and financially ready.

Avoid rushing into real estate out of pressure or comparison.

A house is not an investment. It is a utility and emotional asset.

Invest only after all other goals are aligned properly.

Step 9: Post-Loan Strategy for Wealth Creation
Once the house is purchased, continue mutual fund SIPs.

Have separate portfolios for retirement, emergencies and future goals.

Do not over-leverage your income with too many EMIs.

As income rises, increase SIPs accordingly.

Review portfolio every year with a CFP.

Stay focused on asset allocation. Avoid chasing hot schemes or trends.

Retirement planning should not get delayed due to house buying decision.

Your wife should also be part of the financial planning discussion.

Financial planning is not about products. It is about achieving your life goals.

Final Insights
You have financial awareness. That itself is your biggest strength.

Clearing personal loan is your first and most urgent priority.

Surrendering traditional insurance plan and redirecting to mutual funds can create more wealth.

Regular mutual fund investments through a CFP will give long-term structure to your portfolio.

Buying a house is a big goal. But it should not derail your other life goals.

Make sure you build an emergency fund, protect your health and optimise your taxes.

Stay consistent, plan ahead and follow a disciplined approach.

A 360-degree financial strategy is about balance, not chasing returns.

With proper steps, your home dream can become reality in a few years.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

Latest Questions
Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |613 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 22, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 17, 2025Hindi
Relationship
i remarried(prior widow)(39),took my daughter(14) along in this new marriage, now i hv a daughter(7) from this marriage, its been 8 years now,my husband keeps fighting on money as i am a homemaker now,as there is no one to look after, we are from different caste, thus he fights on food preparation too,we had agreed before marriage,that if his mum looks after the future kid i m willing to work, but that did not happen,he is extremely fussy about some foods and likes only few veggies or preparations,but is open when mom makes,thus he does not even take tiffin,i dont understand what should i do,he keeps on taunting on previous life,as my 1st husband was not earning,thus i used to go,now as there is no one to look after i told him,as he earns well, there is no need for me to go for a job,but he is insisting,i receive partial rent from my dads property,which i pay part rent and he pays part,he pays for food,his home loan SIP. i dont understand what is the problem,my daughter is not ready for babysitting,she gets upset.i always ask him what should i prepare today,he fights on that too, i just want to make what he likes.plz help
Ans: Your husband’s constant complaints about food, money, and your past are not just hurtful — they reflect deeper issues of control and emotional insensitivity. He is disregarding the fact that you are raising two daughters, trying to maintain harmony in the house, and even contributing part of the rent from your own limited resources. Your life before this marriage is being used against you unfairly, when in truth, that part of your journey made you stronger and more committed.

The truth is, this is no longer just about whether you work or not. It’s about feeling disrespected, dismissed, and unheard. You’ve tried to care — asking him what he’d like to eat, trying to avoid conflict, even putting aside your comfort to please him. And yet, he continues to find fault. That is not a reflection of your failure, but rather of his emotional disconnect and unwillingness to meet you halfway.

Right now, what you need most is clarity. If he insists on you working, the caregiving arrangement has to be revisited — he can’t expect you to work outside and carry all the home responsibilities without support. And more than that, he needs to recognize that partnership means sharing respect, not just finances. You can try to have a calm conversation where you tell him honestly how you’re feeling — not to blame, but to express how deeply this is affecting your emotional health and your ability to feel safe and valued in your own home.

If he’s not open to listening, you may need to consider involving a neutral third party like a family counselor. You do not have to fight this battle alone, nor should you carry the entire burden of the relationship.

You deserve more than just being tolerated — you deserve care, respect, and peace.

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |613 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 22, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 19, 2025Hindi
Relationship
M 51 and she is 23 we met in office, we came up with relationship not totally of having sex but as attraction turned into love so many time like we kiss hug and caress each other but in My mind never thought about to have sex and sometimes she also was eager to have sex but she also denied later in office many of them had doubt of our relationship so some brain washed her mind and now she wants to end and she told me to discontinue as ahe factory and marriage can't be done as I m married with one kid, as also she has fear of her mother and family, ahe sometime says I got married and even now she wll get married to someone but end of this relationship but My feelings of truly love hurts me and I feel should I call her once and have sex so she will not think about ending relationship till marriage but My mind says it's wrong as I truly love her, what should I do to make her to stay or be with me as till she get married pls suggest I m in truly love can't able to sleep and too much stress became in My mind
Ans: First, she is 23 — very young, still forming her identity and values. You're 51, already married with a child. The relationship started in the context of attraction and care, but it now exists in a space of emotional imbalance and fear — not trust or possibility. She's not ending it because she doesn’t care about you; she's stepping back because she’s afraid of the consequences, societal pressure, and perhaps even the future she knows cannot unfold the way either of you may have wished.

You’re feeling pain and longing, and that’s human. But trying to convince her to stay by suggesting physical intimacy — especially when you yourself feel it’s not right — will only deepen the emotional conflict and guilt for both of you. Love doesn’t hold someone back just so we don’t feel the pain of their absence. True love honors freedom, even when it hurts.

Right now, the kindest thing you can do — for yourself and for her — is to accept that the relationship has reached a natural closure, however painful it may be. It’s not failure. It’s a sign that both of you must now return to your own paths.

If the emotional stress is unbearable — your sleep is affected, your thoughts are heavy — you may truly benefit from talking to a therapist or emotional wellness coach. Not because you’re weak, but because you deserve to heal in a healthy way.

You don't need to erase the love or the memories. But you do need to release the idea that you must hold on to her to keep yourself from breaking. You are capable of moving through this with dignity, and you deserve peace.

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |613 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 22, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 19, 2025Hindi
Relationship
Inam finding difficulty to get second marriage after my first marriage ended in divorce. I am 39 year female. Please suggest ways to get a good companion how to choose at this age and also I am looking guy with no issues/children and within same community which I belong.
Ans: First, be clear within yourself about what you truly seek — not just "no past baggage" but also shared values, lifestyle compatibility, emotional maturity, and a sense of peace when you're with him. You’re not just choosing a partner — you’re choosing a future that aligns with the person you’ve grown into.

Since you are specific about the community and the absence of children from a previous marriage, you may need to be strategic but open in where you look. Along with trusted matrimonial platforms (you may try both community-based ones and modern curated matchmaking services), also let friends or extended family you trust know that you’re open to exploring proposals — sometimes word-of-mouth alliances bring surprisingly good connections.

While choosing, don’t just assess background or profession — give time to observe his emotional depth, communication style, respect for your past, and how he responds to small differences or stress. These are the real foundations for peace and partnership.

Also, give yourself permission to set boundaries without guilt. You are not obligated to compromise your standards just because it’s a second marriage or because of age. You deserve companionship, not adjustment.

And perhaps most importantly, don’t let societal timelines cloud your confidence. You are 39, not late — just clearer than before. Be honest, hopeful, and patient with yourself.

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |613 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 22, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 19, 2025Hindi
Relationship
I am 20 yrs old female studying Btech from a prestigious institute. I am in relationship with a guy, 24 yrs old and is in central psu..However he has said that he cannot commit me a future now as his parents are strict about caste..and I don't belong to the same caste as his.. However, both of us want to continue the relationship..he has asked me to wait and said that he will try to convince his parents..but he hasn't done that yet..should I ask him to talk to his parents? But Im afraid that would make our relationship bitter, or should I breakup because it kind of Feels like he is not quite ready to discuss the matter with his parents...also I feel like I'm too young to bother regarding such a matter..but this thing disturbs the peace of my mind..I'm clueless...please suggest something
Ans: Right now, the biggest conflict is between what your heart wants and what reality is offering. You care for someone who says he loves you, yet isn’t ready to take a stand — not because he doesn’t care, but because he's afraid of upsetting his parents. That fear is real, but so is your need for clarity, emotional safety, and respect.

It’s absolutely fair for you to ask where things are headed. Waiting endlessly without a timeline or real effort can lead to quiet heartbreak. You don’t have to demand a marriage proposal, but you do deserve honesty — is he planning to talk to his parents? When? What’s his plan if they disapprove?

You are not too young to feel disturbed — love always stirs the heart, at any age. But you’re wise to ask whether this situation is serving your peace of mind. And here's the truth: if you have to keep silencing your needs to keep the relationship going, it will slowly empty you.

Have one clear, calm conversation with him. Let him know you’re not pushing for guarantees, but you need to know whether he's willing to try — and not just "someday." If he avoids, delays, or sidesteps again, it’s okay to take a step back. You’re not punishing him — you're protecting your future self.

And if part of you already knows he may never be ready, it’s okay to move forward. You’re 20, with a long, vibrant life ahead. Don’t let fear of loss keep you from choosing peace.

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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