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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6995 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 15, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
JAYANTA Question by JAYANTA on May 08, 2024Hindi
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Pls suggest me 5 best SIP for 10 year duration

Ans: Great! You're thinking long-term! SIPs are a super way to grow your money for big goals like retirement or your child's education. Here are some ideas for funds that might be a good fit for a 10-year investment horizon:
1. Equity Funds with a Diversified Focus
Imagine a basket filled with colorful candies – some sweet, some sour. Equity funds are like that basket, but instead of candies, they hold different company shares. A diversified equity fund spreads your money across many companies in various sectors. This helps balance risk – if a few companies do poorly, the good ones can help balance things out. Over 10 years, equity funds have the potential for good growth, though remember, stock markets can be bumpy along the way!

2. Sectoral Funds – Invest in a Growing Trend
Think of these funds as baskets filled with just one kind of candy, maybe all chocolate! Sectoral funds focus on a specific industry, like technology or healthcare. These can be great for growth, especially if you believe a particular sector will outperform the broader market. But remember, they also carry more risk because you're putting all your eggs in one basket. So, choose wisely and make sure this aligns with your risk appetite.

3. Flexi-Cap Funds – Flexibility is Key
Flexi-cap funds are like those awesome kids who can play with any group. They invest across large, mid, and small-cap companies, giving you a good mix of growth potential and stability. This flexibility helps them navigate different market conditions. They can be a good option if you want a balanced approach within the equity space.

4. Balanced Funds – A Mix of Stocks and Bonds
Balanced funds are like those lunchboxes with both chips and a sandwich. They combine equity and debt investments (like bonds) in a single portfolio. The stock portion offers growth potential, while the debt portion provides stability. The asset allocation (mix of stocks and bonds) can vary depending on the fund's objective. These can be suitable if you want some growth but also prioritize capital protection.

5. Hybrid Funds – Tailored to Your Risk Appetite
Hybrid funds are like lunchboxes that come in different flavors – some with more chips, others with more sandwiches. They offer a wider range of asset allocation options compared to balanced funds. You can choose a hybrid fund that leans more towards equities for higher growth potential or one with a greater debt allocation for more stability.

Remember, choosing the right SIP depends on your risk tolerance, financial goals, and investment timeframe. It's always a good idea to discuss your options with a Certified Financial Planner like myself to create a personalized investment plan.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6995 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 27, 2024

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I am willing to invest INR 12500 in SIP for next 10 to 15 years. Kindly advise for best SIP for good return.
Ans: investing in SIPs (Systematic Investment Plans) is a smart way to build wealth over the long term. With a time horizon of 10 to 15 years, you have the opportunity to benefit from the power of compounding and potentially higher returns from equity investments. Here's a suggestion for a diversified SIP portfolio:

Large Cap Fund: Allocate a significant portion of your SIP amount to a large-cap fund. These funds invest in established companies with a proven track record and offer stability to your portfolio.
Flexi Cap Fund: Opt for a flexi-cap fund that provides the flexibility to invest across companies of various market capitalizations based on market conditions. This offers exposure to both large, mid, and small-cap segments, enhancing diversification.
Mid Cap Fund: Allocate a portion of your SIP to a mid-cap fund, focusing on companies with medium market capitalization. Mid-cap companies have the potential for significant growth, providing an opportunity for higher returns over the long term.
Small Cap Fund (Optional): Depending on your risk appetite, you may consider including a small-cap fund in your portfolio. These funds invest in smaller companies with the potential for rapid growth, albeit with higher volatility.
By focusing on large-cap, flexi-cap, and mid-cap funds, you create a well-diversified SIP portfolio that balances stability with growth potential. Before finalizing your investment decisions, assess your risk tolerance and consult with a Certified Financial Planner to ensure your portfolio aligns with your long-term financial goals. Remember to stay disciplined and review your portfolio periodically to make any necessary adjustments.

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6995 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 18, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 12, 2024Hindi
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Hi I’m 23 years old and I want to invest 5k per month in Sip for at least 20 years. Can you please suggest some sip's?
Ans: Kickstarting Your Investment Journey at 23: A Smart Move!
Investing ?5,000 per month through SIPs for 20 years is a fantastic decision at your young age! Here are some ideas for potential SIP investments, but remember, this is not financial advice:

Building a Diversified Portfolio:

Equity Funds: Consider investing a portion in equity funds that offer growth potential over the long term. Actively managed equity funds involve experienced fund managers who try to pick stocks to outperform the market. Actively managed funds come with higher fees compared to passively managed funds. You can explore Large-cap, Mid-cap, or Flexi-cap funds based on your risk tolerance.

Debt Funds: Invest a portion in debt funds for stability and to balance your portfolio's risk profile. Debt funds can provide regular income and help manage volatility.

Here's a Sample SIP Allocation (you can adjust based on risk tolerance):

60%: Large-cap or Multi-cap Actively Managed Equity Funds for long-term growth.

20%: Mid-cap Actively Managed Equity Funds for potentially higher growth (with higher risk).

20%: Debt Funds (short/medium/long-term) for stability and income generation.

Important to Remember:

Do Your Research: Research actively managed funds and choose those with a good track record and a reputable fund house.

Review Regularly: Review your SIPs at least annually to ensure they remain aligned with your goals and risk tolerance.

Seeking Professional Guidance:

Personalized Plan: A Certified Financial Planner (CFP) can create a personalized SIP plan considering your risk tolerance, investment goals, and future needs. They can suggest specific actively managed funds based on your risk profile.
By starting early, staying invested for the long term, and potentially consulting a CFP, you can be on track to achieving your financial goals!

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6995 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Oct 24, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 20, 2024Hindi
Money
I am 34 years old, planning to resign my job after 10 years, want to invest 20000/month in sip, so that i will a get a good amount after 10 yrs, pls suggest which SIP s i need to choose
Ans: At 34 years old, planning for a 10-year investment horizon is a smart move. Resigning from your job after 10 years means you will need a strong corpus to support your financial needs. Investing Rs. 20,000 per month in SIPs is a solid step, but choosing the right mix of funds is crucial for growth, stability, and capital preservation over the long term.

Let’s go through some strategies that can help you reach your goals. I will also provide insights into SIP selections that suit your situation.

Asset Allocation Strategy
Your investments should be balanced between equity and debt to ensure a steady growth rate while managing risk. Given your 10-year horizon, the majority of your SIPs can be focused on equity mutual funds.

Here’s how you can think about the allocation:

Equity Mutual Funds (70%): These funds can give you high returns over the long term. However, they come with risk, so diversification is essential. Investing in a mix of large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap funds will give you exposure to different sectors of the market.

Debt Funds (30%): Debt mutual funds offer stability and safety for your investment. They can act as a cushion during market volatility.

This mix will give you a blend of growth and risk management.

Importance of Actively Managed Funds
Many investors consider index funds or ETFs as low-cost alternatives, but in your case, actively managed funds might serve you better.

Here’s why:

Index Funds vs. Actively Managed Funds: Index funds track the market, meaning they cannot outperform it. However, actively managed funds have professional fund managers who select stocks and bonds to outperform the market. This can lead to higher returns over time.

Flexibility in Actively Managed Funds: Fund managers can adjust the portfolio based on market conditions. In volatile times, they can switch to safer assets or sectors. This kind of active management adds value, especially when you're looking at a 10-year investment horizon.

Benefits of Regular Plans over Direct Plans
While direct funds have lower expense ratios, they don’t offer professional guidance. In your case, it’s best to invest in regular funds through a Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD) with Certified Financial Planner (CFP) credentials.

Here’s why:

Better Guidance: An MFD with CFP certification offers valuable insights into market conditions and the best performing funds. This ensures that your investments are reviewed regularly.

Portfolio Monitoring: Direct funds put the responsibility of managing your portfolio on you. With regular plans, the MFD monitors your portfolio, ensuring your SIPs align with your goals.

Equity Fund Categories to Consider
When investing Rs. 20,000 monthly, diversification is essential. Here are some key fund categories that you should consider, without naming specific schemes:

Large-Cap Funds: These funds invest in stable and well-established companies. They offer steady returns over time with lower risk compared to mid or small-cap funds. Large-cap funds are ideal for core holdings in your portfolio.

Mid-Cap Funds: These funds focus on companies that are in their growth phase. While they are riskier than large-cap funds, they can provide higher returns. Having exposure to mid-cap funds can boost your overall returns.

Small-Cap Funds: These funds target small companies with high growth potential. They come with a higher risk, but over a 10-year period, they have the potential to generate significant returns. Invest in small-cap funds only if you are comfortable with short-term market fluctuations.

Flexi-Cap Funds: These funds invest across market capitalizations (large, mid, and small). They offer flexibility and help you benefit from different market conditions. Flexi-cap funds provide a balanced approach to growth and risk management.

Balanced Advantage Funds: These funds switch between equity and debt based on market conditions. They provide stability in volatile markets and can be a part of your SIP strategy to protect your corpus from excessive risk.

Role of Debt Funds in Your Portfolio
While equity funds will drive your growth, debt funds play an important role in reducing volatility. These funds are safer but offer lower returns. Since you are investing for 10 years, you can allocate a portion of your monthly SIP to debt funds to provide stability to your portfolio.

Some categories to consider include:

Short-Term Debt Funds: These funds offer good liquidity and are less sensitive to interest rate changes. They can provide steady returns while keeping risk low.

Corporate Bond Funds: These funds invest in high-rated corporate bonds. They offer slightly higher returns than government bonds but come with a bit more risk.

Lump Sum Investment for Long-Term Growth
You mentioned having Rs. 3 lakhs to invest as a lump sum. A good approach would be to invest this amount in a Systematic Transfer Plan (STP).

Here’s how it works:

STP Strategy: Invest the Rs. 3 lakh lump sum into a low-risk debt fund initially. Then, gradually transfer a fixed amount into an equity mutual fund over time. This ensures you benefit from rupee-cost averaging and reduces the risk of investing a large amount during a market high.

Diversified Equity Fund: You can transfer the lump sum into a diversified equity fund. This will allow you to benefit from market growth while reducing the impact of short-term market fluctuations.

Tax Implications to Keep in Mind
When investing for a 10-year period, it’s important to be aware of the tax implications of your investments.

Equity Mutual Funds: Long-term capital gains (LTCG) on equity funds over Rs. 1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5%. Short-term capital gains (STCG) are taxed at 20%. Keep this in mind when redeeming units after 10 years.

Debt Mutual Funds: Both LTCG and STCG on debt mutual funds are taxed as per your income tax slab. This means your returns from debt funds will be added to your income for tax purposes.

This taxation aspect is crucial when planning withdrawals after 10 years.

Increasing Your SIP Contribution
Given your income of Rs. 1.80 lakh monthly and no existing liabilities, it’s advisable to increase your SIP contributions gradually.

Here’s why:

Step-Up SIP: This is a facility where you increase your SIP amount each year. By doing this, your corpus grows faster, allowing you to reach your goal sooner. A small increase of 10-15% each year can make a big difference over 10 years.

Compounding Effect: By increasing your SIP every year, you benefit from the power of compounding. The longer you stay invested and the more you invest, the greater your returns will be over time.

Emergency Fund Consideration
You mentioned that you have Rs. 60 lakh in Fixed Deposits (FDs). While this is a good emergency fund, you might want to reallocate a portion to debt mutual funds. Debt mutual funds can provide better returns than FDs over time, with similar safety.

Here’s how you can manage this:

FDs vs. Debt Funds: FDs offer fixed returns but are less tax-efficient. Debt mutual funds, on the other hand, offer slightly higher returns and are more tax-efficient, especially if held for the long term.

Emergency Fund Size: Keep a portion of your FD as an emergency fund, but consider shifting the rest into debt mutual funds. This way, you’ll still have liquidity, but your money will work harder for you.

Final Insights
Your current SIP investments are well-diversified, but there is room for improvement. Increasing your SIP gradually, rebalancing between equity and debt, and using a systematic transfer plan for lump sum investments will all help boost your corpus over the next 10 years.

Additionally, keep an eye on tax implications when planning withdrawals.

With a disciplined approach, you can achieve your goal of building a solid corpus by the time you plan to resign.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |403 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 08, 2024

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6995 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Nov 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 08, 2024Hindi
Money
Iam under debt of Rs 10lac and my salary is 23k per month. How to come out from debt and i need to get debt free. So, please guide me.
Ans: Being in debt can be overwhelming, especially on a limited monthly income. But with disciplined planning and commitment, you can gradually achieve financial freedom. Here’s a detailed guide to help you pay off your Rs 10 lakh debt and build a stable financial foundation.

Step 1: Calculate Your Monthly Expenses and Set a Budget
Start by understanding your cash flow. Track every expense to get a clear picture of your spending.

Essential Expenses: These include rent, food, utilities, and any other basic needs.

Discretionary Expenses: Cut back on non-essentials like dining out, entertainment, and shopping.

Savings and Debt Repayment: Dedicate any amount left after essential expenses towards debt repayment.

Tip: Keep a written budget or use a mobile app to monitor your expenses. Reducing discretionary spending will help increase the amount available for debt repayment.

Step 2: Increase Income if Possible
Boosting income, even slightly, can significantly accelerate debt repayment. Here are some ideas:

Freelance or Part-Time Work: If possible, look for freelance work in areas you’re skilled in, like writing, tutoring, graphic design, or programming.

Overtime or Extra Shifts: If your employer offers overtime, consider taking it on to increase your income.

Sell Unwanted Items: Sell items you no longer need, such as electronics, clothes, or furniture, to generate additional cash.

Increasing your income, even temporarily, can help you pay off your debt faster.

Step 3: Create a Debt Repayment Plan
List all your debts, including outstanding amounts, interest rates, and due dates. Here are two strategies for paying them off:

Snowball Method: Pay off smaller debts first to gain momentum, then tackle larger ones. This provides psychological motivation by clearing debts faster.

Avalanche Method: Focus on debts with the highest interest rates first. This method saves more on interest in the long term.

Choose the strategy that suits you best and start making extra payments each month.

Step 4: Prioritize High-Interest Loans and EMI Payments
Debt with higher interest can escalate quickly, so prioritize clearing them first. Some common examples include:

Credit Card Debt: If part of your debt is on credit cards, try to pay it down as quickly as possible. Credit card interest rates are often the highest.

Personal Loans: If your Rs 10 lakh debt includes high-interest loans, prioritize these over lower-interest obligations.

Contact your creditors to explore if they can reduce your interest rate temporarily. Any reduction helps ease the debt burden.

Step 5: Consider Debt Consolidation Options
Debt consolidation combines multiple loans into a single, lower-interest loan, making it easier to manage. Options include:

Personal Loans: Look for a lower-interest personal loan to pay off existing debts. This can reduce the overall interest burden.

Balance Transfer: If a major portion of your debt is on a credit card, look for a card offering a low or zero-interest balance transfer option.

Be cautious of fees associated with consolidation options and make sure to do thorough research. Consolidation can simplify payments and potentially save you money on interest.

Step 6: Start a Small Emergency Fund
While repaying debt is crucial, having a small emergency fund (around Rs 5,000–Rs 10,000) can help you avoid additional debt. This fund is for unexpected expenses like medical emergencies or car repairs.

Building a small emergency cushion ensures you don’t rely on credit if unplanned expenses arise. Once your debt is cleared, you can gradually build a larger emergency fund.

Step 7: Avoid Taking on New Debt
Avoid credit cards, loans, or any new debt until you’ve repaid the current amount. New debt will delay your goal of becoming debt-free.

Instead of borrowing, prioritize saving for any purchases. Practicing patience with spending decisions will help prevent additional debt.

Step 8: Automate and Regularize Payments
Set up automated payments for your debt EMIs and monthly bills. Automation helps prevent missed payments, which can incur penalties and hurt your credit score.

If automated payments aren’t possible, set reminders to ensure timely payments.

Step 9: Track Progress and Stay Motivated
Track your progress each month and celebrate small wins, such as reaching specific milestones in debt reduction.

Seeing your debt balance decrease, even gradually, can keep you motivated.

Step 10: Seek Professional Guidance If Needed
If you feel overwhelmed, consider seeking guidance from a Certified Financial Planner (CFP). They can help you devise a structured plan tailored to your specific financial situation.

A CFP can also provide personalized advice on managing and reducing debt efficiently.

Finally
Your determination to achieve a debt-free life is commendable. By following these steps and staying disciplined, you’ll gradually pay off your debt and move toward financial freedom. Remember, small steps today will lead to a financially secure tomorrow.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6995 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Nov 08, 2024

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Dear sir/Ma'am, I want to invest long term mutual fund for my daughter marriage. She is now 15 years old and i want to invest for 10 years, please advised me which mutual fund best for me. My monthly investment amount is Rs. 5000.00/- please reply soon as soon possible.
Ans: Investing for your daughter's marriage is a thoughtful goal. With 10 years to grow your investment, mutual funds offer a practical approach to help achieve this objective. A disciplined investment of Rs 5000 per month can build a substantial corpus over time. Here’s a comprehensive guide to structuring this investment for long-term success.

Choosing the Right Type of Mutual Funds
For a 10-year horizon, equity mutual funds are suitable. They have the potential for higher returns over time. Considering a diversified mix of equity categories could balance growth with stability.

Equity-Oriented Funds: With their higher growth potential, equity funds can be ideal for long-term goals like marriage. Large-cap funds or diversified equity funds with a mix of large- and mid-cap investments can provide relative stability.

Balanced or Hybrid Funds: These funds allocate a portion to both equity and debt. This approach reduces risk while still capturing growth. Hybrid funds could be a good option to add stability.

Avoid Index Funds: While index funds are popular, they lack flexibility in managing market changes. Actively managed funds, however, allow fund managers to navigate market fluctuations, potentially offering higher returns.

Benefits of Regular Funds vs. Direct Funds
When considering direct funds, you miss out on expert guidance, which is vital for long-term investments. Regular funds through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) ensure you get continuous support, fund reviews, and performance tracking. They help rebalance your portfolio when required, maximizing your returns and managing risks effectively.

SIP (Systematic Investment Plan) for Steady Growth
Setting up a monthly SIP of Rs 5000 is a practical approach. SIPs allow you to invest consistently, regardless of market highs and lows, which averages out costs over time. This approach, known as “rupee cost averaging,” helps reduce the impact of volatility.

Tax Implications on Mutual Fund Investments
Understanding tax rules on mutual funds is important.

Equity Mutual Funds: Gains above Rs 1.25 lakh attract a 12.5% tax on Long-Term Capital Gains (LTCG). Short-Term Capital Gains (STCG) are taxed at 20%.

Debt Mutual Funds: Both STCG and LTCG are taxed based on your income tax slab.

These tax rates are subject to change, so it’s crucial to monitor tax policies periodically. You may consult a tax advisor for updates and efficient tax planning.

Key Investment Tips to Reach Your Goal
Consistency: Stay disciplined with your SIPs to leverage compounding. Missing contributions can reduce the growth potential.

Regular Monitoring: Review fund performance at least once a year. This ensures the selected funds are meeting your expectations and objectives.

Professional Guidance: Consult a CFP periodically to align your investments with your financial plan. They can advise on any required adjustments to optimize your portfolio.

Adjusting for Inflation and Goal Cost
Over time, inflation will impact the cost of your daughter’s marriage. Your CFP can help you estimate the future value and adjust your SIP amount if needed. Gradually increasing the SIP amount can help you meet the target despite inflation.

Final Insights
Your commitment to this goal is commendable. By selecting the right mix of funds, maintaining discipline with SIPs, and staying informed on tax and fund performance, you’ll be well on your way to achieving the desired corpus for your daughter’s marriage.

Invest with confidence, plan regularly, and stay on track toward building a secure financial future for your family.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Radheshyam

Radheshyam Zanwar  |1033 Answers  |Ask -

MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on Nov 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 08, 2024Hindi
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Career
Hello! I am looking to change my career. Currently, I work as a DTP Operator and Graphic Designer in my maternal uncle's offsset printing press business. My father passed away 8 years ago, so my maternal uncle has taken on the responsibility of me, my mother, and my brother. I have been working under them for the past 5 years as a favor of them. However, there has been no financial growth or development in my current position. But maternal uncle asks me to continue to work with them as their childrens are out of their Offset Printing profession. So they expect me to handle the business in future. But this will not happen. Also I'm not sure of the future scope of Offset Printing Press profession due to digitization. Though my mind is telling me to change profession, as of my financial condtion is weak I would have to start again from zero. I am feeling unsure about what to do?
Ans: Hello.
Presently you are working as a DTP operator and Graphic Designer with your uncle. It seems that due to financial problems, your uncle might be taking undue advantage of your situation and taking it granted that you must work for him and his printing press as a bull for 24x7. You said, your uncle's children are not interested in running the printing press. Hence he is expecting to handle the business in the future. I think this is a golden time to negotiate with your uncle from a business point of view and put some terms and conditions in front of him. You must overtake the printing press fully in your control and share some part of the profit with him. Remember, you are young, have solid experience of 5 years and the most important thing is that, your uncle is not dependent on you only. This makes the situation in your favor. If your uncle is not ready to hand over the printing press business to you, then you have an option to search for another job and tell your uncle also in this regard. I can fairly say, your uncle will not think to lose you under any condition. In life, nothing is impossible, With the hands-on experience of 5 years, you may job in an advertising company and a reputed publishing house. Related to your insecurity feeling, even though you are working with your uncle, you are feeling insecure. Hence either force your uncle to accept your terms and conditions or leave him without any hesitation. Try with new people, new organizations, and new opportunities. A little change will make a big change in your life.
Best of luck for your bright future.

If satisfied, please like and follow me.
If dissatisfied with the reply, please ask again without hesitation.
Thanks.

Radheshyam

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |403 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 07, 2024
Relationship
I (27M) am well Educated & well settled in a High-paying Job. Tall, Handsome & Fit. I am a Sociable & Outgoing person, but I never had a Girlfriend because I believe in having an Arranged Marriage with a Girl from the same Community, who's Family background is known to Parents. I strongly believe in abstaining from any kind of Sexual Intimacy until I get Married, due to my Personal, Moral, Ethical, Emotional as well as Religious & Socio-cultural Values. I'd want to experience even my First Kiss, only after getting Married to my Life Partner. And obviously, I expect my Future Life Partner also to Share similar Values. I cannot settle for Marriage with a Girl who had Pre-marital Sex (or even Kissed) anyone else in a Romantic Relationship, prior to Marriage. I would Reject such a Girl, however Beautiful, Well-Educated & Well-Earning she might be (all other Qualities being Subjective). Now, my Family has started looking up suitable Brides for me, within my Community. The Problem is that most Girls of our Community, in this Generation, are Well Educated & Financially Independent, staying in Cities, away from Parents & most of them, probably had Romantic Relationship(s) & experienced Physical Intimacy, at any Base Level. I know this by closely observing & discussing with many Girls of my Community (including my Female Cousins, Female Friends & Neighbours etc). They all are ridiculing me for my Preferences & advising me to forsake my Values, as they are Outdated in this Age. Now, I am Worried that I might never get to Marry a Girl who shares my Values. My greatest Fear is not ending up Unmarried, but getting Married to a Woman who lies about her Past (I consider it as Cheating). Can you please advise me on, how can I be absolutely Sure that a Girl is an Un-Kissed Virgin? How do I bring up this topic with any Girl before Marriage & ask her, without coming off as Creepy? How can I be Sure whether the Girl is being absolutely Honest about her Past or not? What are some other ways to find out about the Past of a Girl, apart from having an open conversation with herself? Please advise me regarding this, my Heart is not letting me foresake my Values, which are my Core Principles. I am willing to compromise on some other Qualities i.e., I'd happily settle down with a Girl who's Below Average in terms of Looks, Education & even Unemployed, as long as I can be Sure that she's an Un-Kissed Virgin. How can I be absolutely Sure of that?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You don't have to forsake your values based on others' opinions of it. If it makes you happy, you should stick to it. Having said that, you cannot force the same values on others. I understand you want a partner who has a similar mindset. The only way to get what you want is an open conversation- when you speak to a match, you can open up about your outlook and clear it from your end that you want the exact same values in your partner and politely request them to reject the alliance if she has any past relationships or has been intimate with anyone in any form. Let her know that you are not judging her, but this part is very important for you. Make it about yourself, because it is. Do not let the woman feel that there is some flaw in her, or start investigating her past.

Now, coming to your other query, how to be absolutely sure that she is telling the truth about her experiences- there is no such technique. You have to trust her. Moreover, you should understand that as much as you believe your values are important, trust in your partner is equally important in having a healthy and happy relationship. While you work on finding the partner of your choice, work on having a little more faith in people.
Hope this helps.

Best Wishes

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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