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42-Year-Old with Family of 5 Seeks Retirement Income of 80k-1 Lakh by Age 55

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6558 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Sep 09, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Sep 07, 2024Hindi
Money

Namaste Sir, I am 42 year old with family of 5 .including my mother, 2 kids and wife Monthly Income is 1.75Lakhs Regular expenses are roughly 50K per month 2 Home loan Emis are 45 & 20k per month I have a corpus of about 30lakh in PF and ,5 lakh in mutual funds and would be availing a education loan . Please suggest how can I plan to have a retirement income of 80k to 1 lakh by age 55 I want to

Ans: You are 42 years old, and your family consists of five members: your mother, wife, and two kids. Your current monthly income is Rs. 1.75 lakh, and your regular expenses are Rs. 50,000 per month. You are paying two home loan EMIs: one of Rs. 45,000 and another of Rs. 20,000, totaling Rs. 65,000 per month.

You have a provident fund (PF) corpus of Rs. 30 lakh and Rs. 5 lakh invested in mutual funds. You are also considering taking an education loan for your children's future.

You aim to retire by age 55 and desire a monthly retirement income of Rs. 80,000 to Rs. 1 lakh. This is a realistic goal, but it will require disciplined planning and strategic investment.

Let’s break down each area for a comprehensive financial plan to help you achieve your retirement goal.

Home Loan Repayment Strategy
You currently have two home loan EMIs, which amount to Rs. 65,000 per month. Clearing these loans will significantly reduce your financial burden and free up cash flow for further investments.

Prioritise Loan Repayment: Since you have two home loans, focus on paying off the one with the higher interest rate first. If both rates are similar, start by repaying the smaller loan to reduce your monthly EMI burden faster.

Lump Sum Repayments: Whenever possible, make lump sum repayments toward the principal of your home loans. This will help you save on interest and clear the loans sooner.

Loan-Free Retirement: Aim to clear your home loans before retirement. Being debt-free will ensure that your retirement income is not affected by large EMIs.

Investment Growth for Retirement
You currently have Rs. 5 lakh in mutual funds and Rs. 30 lakh in your provident fund. To meet your goal of Rs. 80,000 to Rs. 1 lakh in monthly retirement income, you will need to significantly grow your investments over the next 13 years.

Increase Monthly SIPs: With Rs. 1.75 lakh in monthly income and Rs. 50,000 in expenses, you have a healthy surplus. After accounting for your home loan EMIs, you still have Rs. 60,000 per month available. Consider investing at least Rs. 40,000 to Rs. 50,000 in Systematic Investment Plans (SIPs) every month. This disciplined approach will help you accumulate a sizable corpus over time.

Focus on Actively Managed Funds: Actively managed mutual funds offer the benefit of expert management, aiming to outperform the market. While index funds might seem attractive due to their low costs, they are not flexible enough to adapt to market changes. An actively managed fund, through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP), can help you achieve higher returns over the long term, especially given your 13-year horizon.

Avoid Direct Funds: While direct funds might have a lower expense ratio, they don’t come with professional guidance. Investing through a CFP and a trusted Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD) ensures that your portfolio is regularly reviewed and optimised. This professional support is crucial as you approach retirement, where every investment decision counts.

Provident Fund and Asset Allocation
Your Rs. 30 lakh in the provident fund is a great start toward building a retirement corpus. However, provident fund returns alone may not be sufficient to meet your goal of Rs. 80,000 to Rs. 1 lakh monthly income.

Diversification Is Key: While the provident fund provides safety and stable returns, it’s essential to diversify your portfolio. A higher allocation to equity through mutual funds can help you grow your corpus faster. Keep in mind that equity investments come with higher risks, but over a long-term period like 13 years, they also offer higher returns.

Rebalancing Your Portfolio: As you near retirement, you will need to gradually shift some of your equity investments to more stable debt funds. This will help protect your corpus from market volatility while still offering decent returns.

Planning for Your Children’s Education
You are planning to avail an education loan for your children’s higher studies, which is a sound strategy to manage immediate expenses without dipping into your retirement savings.

Education Loan as Leverage: Availing an education loan allows you to fund your children's education without using up your retirement savings. This ensures that your retirement planning stays on track while your children receive the education they need.

Continue SIPs: Even with an education loan, continue your SIP contributions. This will allow you to maintain a growing corpus while meeting education expenses through loan repayments.

Emergency Fund: Make sure to set aside an emergency fund that covers at least 6 months of living expenses. This will act as a financial cushion in case of unforeseen events, allowing you to meet both education loan EMIs and regular expenses without disrupting your long-term goals.

Retirement Income Planning
Your goal is to have a monthly retirement income of Rs. 80,000 to Rs. 1 lakh. Let’s assess how to achieve this target with a well-structured retirement corpus.

Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP): Post-retirement, you can use a Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP) from your mutual fund corpus. This allows you to withdraw a fixed amount regularly while your remaining investments continue to grow. An SWP can be tailored to meet your monthly income needs while ensuring that your principal is not depleted quickly.

Pension-Like Income: With the right combination of debt and equity funds, your retirement corpus can generate a stable monthly income that acts like a pension. This will complement any other pension schemes or provident fund withdrawals.

Target Corpus: Given your desired retirement income, aim to build a retirement corpus that is large enough to generate Rs. 80,000 to Rs. 1 lakh per month. This can be achieved through consistent SIP contributions, provident fund growth, and strategic withdrawals post-retirement.

Health Insurance and Risk Management
With a family of five, including your mother and two children, adequate health insurance is essential to protect your finances from medical emergencies.

Adequate Health Insurance: Ensure that you have comprehensive health insurance that covers all family members. Medical costs are rising, and having a strong health insurance policy will prevent any major financial strain due to hospitalisation or treatment costs.

Life Insurance: It is also important to have adequate life insurance coverage, especially since you have ongoing liabilities like home loans. A term insurance plan with sufficient coverage will ensure that your family is financially secure in case of any unforeseen events.

Avoid Investment-Linked Insurance: If you hold any insurance policies that are linked to investments, such as endowment or ULIP policies, consider surrendering them. These plans generally offer lower returns compared to mutual funds. It’s better to reinvest the proceeds from these policies into your SIPs for better growth.

Emergency Fund and Contingency Planning
Having an emergency fund is crucial to safeguard your financial goals in case of unexpected expenses.

Building an Emergency Fund: Set aside an amount equivalent to at least 6 months of your regular expenses in a liquid fund or savings account. This fund should be easily accessible and used only for true emergencies, such as medical expenses or temporary income loss.

Avoid Over-Investing: While it is important to invest aggressively for your retirement, don’t neglect liquidity. Keeping a portion of your savings in easily accessible accounts ensures that you don’t have to redeem your mutual fund investments at a loss in case of emergencies.

Tax Efficiency in Investments
Maximising tax savings can help you increase your overall returns and protect more of your wealth.

Tax-Saving Mutual Funds: Consider investing in tax-saving mutual funds (ELSS) to reduce your tax liability. ELSS funds offer tax benefits under Section 80C of the Income Tax Act, along with the potential for higher returns compared to other tax-saving instruments.

Long-Term Capital Gains Management: Be mindful of the tax implications when redeeming your mutual fund investments. Long-term capital gains (LTCG) from equity mutual funds are taxable beyond a certain threshold, so it’s important to plan withdrawals strategically.

Estate Planning and Will
To ensure that your assets are passed on to your family without legal complications, it is important to have a clear estate plan in place.

Drafting a Will: Drafting a will is essential to specify how your assets will be distributed among your family members. Ensure that all your assets, including your house, provident fund, and mutual fund investments, are accounted for in your will.

Updating Nominations: Make sure that the nominations on your provident fund, mutual funds, and insurance policies are updated to reflect your wishes. This will ensure a smooth transfer of assets to your beneficiaries.

Final Insights
You are on the right track with your financial planning. With disciplined savings and strategic investments, you can achieve your retirement goal of Rs. 80,000 to Rs. 1 lakh monthly income.

Focus on repaying your home loans, increasing your SIP contributions, and diversifying your investments between equity and debt. Health insurance and a proper estate plan will further secure your financial future.

By following this well-rounded approach, you can look forward to a comfortable and financially secure retirement.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Asked by Anonymous - Apr 27, 2024Hindi
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Hi, I am 38 and my monthly earning is around 2.5 lakhs. I have a couple of personal loans with emi of 58k, 24k respectively. And my monthly living and essential expenses around 85k. How can I achieve retirement fund of 3.5 crores? Kindly suggest a financial plan to achieve it. FYI, I have 2 school going kids. And I need to plan for their higher education.
Ans: Achieving a retirement fund of 3.5 crores might seem daunting, but with careful planning and discipline, it's definitely feasible. Given your current situation, here's a tailored financial plan to help you reach that goal.

Firstly, let's address your existing loans. It's crucial to prioritize paying off high-interest debt like personal loans to free up more funds for saving and investing. Consider strategizing to clear these debts as soon as possible.

Next, let's focus on your monthly expenses. Your essential expenses seem reasonable, but it's always wise to review and see if there are areas where you can cut back without compromising your family's well-being.

Now, let's talk about investing. With a monthly earning of 2.5 lakhs, you have a good base to start building your retirement corpus. Instead of index funds, which might have limitations, you could consider actively managed funds through a Certified Financial Planner. These funds have the potential to outperform the market and maximize returns for your retirement.

Given that you have two school-going kids, it's essential to plan for their higher education expenses as well. Look into setting up separate investment vehicles for their education fund, such as mutual funds or education savings plans.

Consistency is key. Stick to a disciplined savings and investment strategy each month. As your income grows over time, consider increasing your investment contributions to accelerate your retirement savings.

Lastly, don't forget about insurance. Ensure you have adequate life and health insurance coverage to protect your family from unforeseen circumstances that could derail your financial plans.

Remember, achieving your retirement goal requires patience and perseverance. Stay focused on your long-term objectives, and you'll steadily progress towards financial security.

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Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

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I am 37 years old my salary is 1.38 lacs per month my wife salary is 35k pm we have a home loan of 44 lacs we hve one daughter of4 yrs old. I have Fd of 50 lacs & 2 lacs in mutual funds and 50 lacs of term insurance and taken on tata insurance of 1.50 lacs per year. Abt exp i pay monthly rent 12k n ppf pay 9k pm...just want to know how can i plan my retirement n pay back my home loan as soon as possible..in my retirement i need a good amt of money to live good life..also m getting rent of 6k in one property
Ans: Strategic Financial Planning for Retirement and Home Loan Repayment
Understanding Your Current Financial Landscape
You are 37 years old with a monthly salary of Rs 1.38 lakh, while your wife earns Rs 35,000 per month. You have a home loan of Rs 44 lakh and a 4-year-old daughter. Your financial assets include Rs 50 lakh in fixed deposits, Rs 2 lakh in mutual funds, and a term insurance cover of Rs 50 lakh. Additionally, you have a Tata insurance policy with an annual premium of Rs 1.50 lakh. Your monthly expenses include a rent of Rs 12,000 and a PPF contribution of Rs 9,000. You also receive a rental income of Rs 6,000 from one property.

Setting Financial Goals
Short-Term Goals
Home Loan Repayment: Focus on paying off the home loan to reduce debt burden and free up cash flow.
Emergency Fund: Strengthen your emergency fund to cover at least six months of living expenses.
Children's Education: Start planning for your daughter's education expenses.
Long-Term Goals
Retirement Planning: Aim to build a substantial corpus for retirement to maintain your lifestyle and cover expenses.
Wealth Accumulation: Continue to grow your investments to achieve financial independence and secure your future.
Strategies for Home Loan Repayment
Increase EMI Payments
Consider increasing your monthly EMI payments to expedite the loan repayment process. Even a small increase can significantly reduce the tenure and interest burden.

Utilize Lump Sums
Use any windfalls or bonuses to make lump-sum payments towards the principal amount. This reduces the outstanding loan balance and interest payable.

Consider Refinancing
Evaluate the possibility of refinancing your home loan to avail lower interest rates. However, assess the associated costs and benefits before making a decision.

Retirement Planning Strategies
Calculate Retirement Corpus
Estimate your post-retirement expenses, factoring in inflation and lifestyle requirements. Use retirement calculators to determine the corpus needed to maintain your current standard of living.

Invest in Retirement Funds
Allocate a portion of your savings towards retirement funds, such as NPS or pension plans, for long-term growth and regular income post-retirement.

Diversify Investments
Diversify your investment portfolio to mitigate risks and maximize returns. Consider a mix of equity, debt, and balanced funds based on your risk appetite and investment horizon.

Enhancing Investment Portfolio
Review Insurance Policies
Evaluate your existing insurance policies, including Tata insurance and term insurance. Ensure they provide adequate coverage for your family's needs. Consider surrendering policies with low returns and reinvesting the proceeds in more profitable avenues.

Optimize Mutual Fund Investments
Review your mutual fund portfolio to ensure alignment with your financial goals and risk tolerance. Consider increasing SIP contributions and exploring growth-oriented funds for higher returns.

Expand Real Estate Investments
Given your rental income, consider expanding your real estate portfolio for additional passive income streams. However, conduct thorough research and due diligence before investing in properties.

Creating Additional Income Streams
Explore Side Hustles
Consider exploring additional sources of income through freelance work, consulting, or online ventures. This diversifies your income streams and provides financial security.

Monetize Skills and Expertise
Leverage your skills and expertise to offer consulting services or conduct workshops in your industry. This not only generates additional income but also enhances your professional reputation.

Ensuring Financial Security
Strengthen Emergency Fund
Increase your emergency fund to cover unforeseen expenses and mitigate financial risks. Aim for a corpus equivalent to at least six months of living expenses.

Secure Health Insurance
Given the uncertainty of job redundancy, secure comprehensive health insurance coverage for your family. This safeguards your savings from unexpected medical expenses.

Final Insights
Strategic financial planning is essential to achieve your retirement and home loan repayment goals. Prioritize debt reduction, maximize savings, and diversify investments to build long-term wealth. Explore opportunities for additional income and ensure adequate insurance coverage for financial security. With disciplined execution and prudent decision-making, you can secure a comfortable retirement and a debt-free future.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

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Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 22, 2024

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Hi, my age 24 and salary is 30k. I am investing one hybrid fund as 2k, one ELSS 1K, one index fund 1k, one debt fund 1k. Totally 5k i am investing. I would like to retire at 40 or 45 with 2 L as monthly income. So how can I achieve that and what are all the possibility?
Ans: Assessing Your Current Investment Portfolio

Let's start by analyzing your current investments:

Rs 2,000 in a hybrid fund
Rs 1,000 in an ELSS fund
Rs 1,000 in an index fund
Rs 1,000 in a debt fund
You are investing Rs 5,000 monthly, which is commendable at your age of 24. However, achieving a monthly income of Rs 2 lakhs by the age of 40 or 45 will require a strategic approach.

Goals and Investment Strategy
Retirement Corpus Goal
To retire with Rs 2 lakhs as a monthly income, you need a substantial retirement corpus. This will require disciplined and strategic investing.

Disadvantages of Index Funds
While index funds have lower fees, they are passively managed. This means they cannot outperform the market. Actively managed funds, on the other hand, are handled by professional fund managers aiming to outperform the market. They offer better potential returns, especially for aggressive goals.

Importance of Actively Managed Funds
Actively managed funds have the potential to deliver higher returns. The expertise of fund managers can help in selecting high-performing stocks. This can help you achieve your goal more efficiently.

Suggested Investment Allocation
Increase Equity Exposure
Given your young age and long investment horizon, increasing your equity exposure can be beneficial. Equity funds generally provide higher returns over the long term compared to debt funds.

Balanced Hybrid Funds
Balanced hybrid funds offer a mix of equity and debt. This can provide stability and growth. You can consider increasing your investment in such funds.

ELSS for Tax Benefits
ELSS funds not only offer tax benefits under Section 80C but also provide good returns. Continuing with your ELSS investment is a good strategy.

Regularly Review and Adjust
It is essential to review your portfolio regularly. Adjust your investments based on market conditions and your financial goals.

Steps to Achieve Your Retirement Goal
Increase Monthly Investments
If possible, increase your monthly investments. Even a small increase can have a significant impact over time due to compounding.

Automate Investments
Setting up a systematic investment plan (SIP) will ensure regular investments. This will also reduce the risk of market timing.

Diversify Portfolio
Diversification reduces risk. Ensure your portfolio has a good mix of equity, debt, and hybrid funds.

Seek Professional Guidance
A Certified Financial Planner can provide personalized advice. They can help in selecting the right funds and strategies based on your goals.

Final Insights
Achieving a monthly income of Rs 2 lakhs by the age of 40 or 45 is ambitious but possible.

It requires disciplined saving and smart investing. Increase your equity exposure and review your investments regularly. Seek professional guidance to ensure you are on the right track.

Best Regards,

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Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in

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Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 27, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 22, 2024Hindi
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I am 48 years old. I owe a small house and a car without any loan. My monthly income is 50 thousand per month. Daughter is pursuing Graduation and son in 8th standard. I am having medi claim, and 50 lakh term plan. Fixed deposits ( Bank and Post office). Worth Rs 40 lakh. My monthly expenses is parallel to my income. No extra source of income. Want to retire by 55 . Not having high dreams need 50 thousand per month after retirement through my savings. Pls guide
Ans: Assessing Your Current Financial Situation
At 48, planning for retirement by 55 is prudent. You have a small house, a car, and no loans. Your monthly income is Rs 50,000, with equivalent expenses. You have Rs 40 lakh in fixed deposits, a term plan of Rs 50 lakh, and medical insurance. Your financial planning should ensure a stable post-retirement income.

Retirement Corpus Estimation
To achieve Rs 50,000 per month post-retirement, you need a substantial retirement corpus. Assuming a retirement duration of 20 years and considering inflation, a rough estimate is Rs 1.5 crore to Rs 2 crore.

Current Investments and Gaps
Your Rs 40 lakh in fixed deposits is a good start. However, you need to build additional corpus to meet your retirement goals. Diversifying investments beyond fixed deposits can yield better returns.

Recommended Investment Strategy
1. Systematic Investment Plans (SIPs):

Regular Contributions: Start SIPs in mutual funds. Invest a portion of your income regularly. This can build a significant corpus over time.
Equity Funds: Choose a mix of large-cap, mid-cap, and balanced funds. Equity funds can offer higher returns over the long term.
2. Public Provident Fund (PPF):

Tax Benefits: PPF offers tax benefits under Section 80C. The interest earned is tax-free.
Long-Term Safety: PPF is a government-backed scheme, providing safety and stable returns.
3. National Pension System (NPS):

Additional Retirement Savings: NPS is designed for retirement savings. It offers tax benefits and market-linked returns.
Systematic Contributions: Contribute regularly to build a substantial retirement corpus.
4. Balanced Approach:

Diversification: Balance your investments between equity, debt, and fixed income. This helps manage risk and ensures steady growth.
Rebalancing: Periodically review and rebalance your portfolio. Adjust based on performance and changing financial goals.
Managing Monthly Expenses
1. Budgeting:

Track Expenses: Monitor your monthly expenses. Identify areas to reduce unnecessary spending.
Allocate Savings: Direct a portion of your income towards savings and investments. This ensures disciplined financial planning.
2. Emergency Fund:

Liquidity: Maintain an emergency fund equivalent to 6-12 months of expenses. This provides financial security during unforeseen circumstances.
Accessibility: Keep this fund in a liquid or easily accessible form, like savings accounts or liquid mutual funds.
Insurance Coverage
1. Adequate Term Plan:

Coverage: Ensure your term plan coverage is adequate to support your family's financial needs in your absence. Rs 50 lakh coverage is good but assess if it needs enhancement.
2. Medical Insurance:

Comprehensive Coverage: Ensure your medical insurance provides comprehensive coverage. Review and upgrade if necessary to cover future medical expenses.
Final Insights
To retire by 55 and achieve Rs 50,000 per month post-retirement, start with disciplined savings and diversified investments. SIPs in mutual funds, contributions to PPF, and NPS can help build a substantial corpus. Maintain an emergency fund and review insurance coverage. Periodically monitor and adjust your investments. A balanced approach ensures financial stability and growth, aligning with your retirement goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

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Hello, My current age is 42. Our combined post tax salary is around 6.25 lakhs. We have around 50L in mutual funds, 80L in direct stocks, 14L in gold, 30L in NPS, 31L in PPF, 21L in SSY and 2.5cr in real estate. Our current household expenses are around 1.5L per month and we are contributing 1L/month to NPS, 2L/month to SIP, 20K/month to direct stocks,1.5L/yr to PPF, I.5L/yr to SSY. We have an EMI of 50000/month for next 5 years .Our kids are 12 years and 10 years. We want a corpus of 4 cr for their higher education and of 1cr for their marriage. We are living in a company provided accommodation and plan to live in it till requirement.We want a 4L monthly pension and don't have a home right now. If we are planning to retire at 55, how should we manage our finances?
Ans: Hello;

Since NPS will be available only after you reach 60 and no info. about any rental income from real estate investment hence both are kept out of our purview.

1.Higher education goals for children typically start after 12th so we have 6 to 8 years for kid's education financial goal(4 Cr) attainment.

I have split it in two tranches:
A. 2 Cr after 6 years
B. 2 Cr after 8 years

For achieving target A following will work:
Direct stocks corpus of 80 L will grow into a sum of 1.5 Cr after 6 years. (Moderate return of 11% assumed)

PPF corpus and contributions will grow into a sum of 50 L+ after 5 years block when you may withdraw this corpus towards this goal. (6.9% return considered)

So 1.5 + 0.5=2 Cr

For fulfilling target B following will work:
MF corpus of 50 L will grow into a sum of 1.15 Cr after 8 years. (11% return considered)

50% of SSY corpus eligible for withdrawal expected to be around 27.85 L. (8% return assumed)

Direct stock monthly sip of 20 K will grow into a sum of 30.85 L in 8 years.(11% return considered)

Gold corpus of 14 L will grow into a sum of 24.05 L. (7% growth assumed)

So 1.15+27.85+30.85+24.05~~2 Cr

2. Target for Marriage of offspring:
1 Cr.
3. Retirement pension: 4 L per month
13 years from now.
Investible surplus left after all monthly investments utilized for fulfilling above targets should be immediately redirected to monthly SIPs in mutual funds. That includes 20 K direct stock sip, 12.5 K/pm SSY investment after 8 years from now and 12.5 K/pm PPF investment 5 years from now.

Also the 50 K getting free from loan EMI after 5 years should be converted into a mutual fund SIP.

After accounting for monthly expenses and monthly investments, from the balance 80 K, I would suggest you to deploy 50 K into MF sip since it will help in target achievement.

So summarily 12.5 K/8 yr, 12.5 K/5 yr, 20 K/5 yr, 50 K/8 yr and 250 K/13 yr will yield you a comprehensive corpus of 9.89 Cr. Add balance 50% SSY corpus of 27.5 L to this and your total corpus comes to 10.16 Cr. (MF returns assumed at a modest 11%)

Earmark 1 Cr for offspring wedding as envisaged.

Net retirement corpus will be 9.16 Cr. An immediate annuity at 6% will yield you a monthly income of 4.58 L from the age of 55 as planned.

You may use commutable corpus of NPS(60%) to buy your house. While NPS annuity portion(40%) may yield you a delta per month so as to have post tax income of 4 L per month.

This looks achievable because you have managed your finances and investments outstandingly well.

I discourage people to take direct stocks exposure especially when they are nearing the retirement but if you have the knowledge and temperament you may dabble into it subject to some minimum amount earmarked as risk capital.

I am sure you have adequate insurance cover for life and health.

Kudos again to your meticulous fiscal planning and execution.

Happy Investing!!

*Investments in mutual funds are subject to market risks. Please read all scheme related documents carefully before investing.

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Hi, I am not yet mairred. I used to like a man and after a month we decided to get married. He was of my caste so I thought my parents won't deny this mairrage. I used to talk to and wanted to let him know everything about my past so that we can built a strong root of our relationship. I spoke every detail of my past life to him. Then before he proposed me for mairrage I went for a vacation with my male friend to dehradun. I didn't tell him that day as he didn't proposed me till that day then why would I tell everything about me to anyone. He was noone to me at that time. After that he came to visit me in Delhi and on the same when he was on train a friend of mine along with his fiance came to meet me after a very long time. I asked him and he didn't denied. After returning home he blocked me. I cried and cried, called multiple times but he didn't received my call. Even I went to his location and waited for almost 3 hr but he didn't came. Then I asked my sister to call him. Then he talked to me but he said me so much of harsh and vulgar words that I went in shock. I cried a lot but he went on humiliating me. But somehow I convinced him to stay with me. I never talked to that friend ever. Then I told my parents about him that I want to get married with this men. Being a girl's father my father enquired about him by being annonymous. And trust me noone has said anything good about him. Later on we get to know that his father has a murder case on him of his brother in law. But then I wanted to get married. Finally my parents agreed only for my happines. Meanwhile I was never being respected by him. He always doubt me, humiliate me, abuse me mentally and physically, and when I was like I don't want to be with you he used to say sorry and begged me to be with him. He even used to restrict to visit my uncle aunty. His mother wants used to defend him and never used to make him realise that he was wrong. Then before engagement we went to Kolkata to buy dress. Yes one more thing I have informed him on the very first day that I used to drink and smoke occassionally. So whenever he used to visit me he always wanted to drink with me whether I want it or not. He always used to abuse me and humiliate me in front of everyone after drinking, so after a period of time I used to avoid drinking. Then he used to fight with me for that also that why will you not drink. In kolkata the same thing happen. We stayed there for 3 days and he was convincing to go to club from the very first day but I refused. On 3rd he hit me. After engagement his family asked for dowry. After a lot of dealing my parents agreed for an amount. But I felt betrayed. I stopped talking. After after when I initiated the conversation he picked up a fight and said he won't marry. I tried to convince. But when everyone was blaming me then I broke my silence and said everything about him to my parent. But he manipulated everything and made me villain. My parents want me to get married as the society will insult our parents. I am getting married in November only for my parents but I have already made up my mind that I'll divorce him after 1 year of mairrage and will live my life alone. Am I thinking right? What should I do?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
No, you are not thinking right at all...This man is all RED FLAGS...
Are you actually thinking of spending one year with a person who physically abuses you? Seriously?
And then you expect him to agree to that divorce without any fuss? What world are you in? No compromises on your life please...
Be wise and protect yourself...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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