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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7336 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 04, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Leela Question by Leela on May 04, 2024Hindi
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I want to invest in mutual funds. I am 28 and currently ready to invest 30k/month in mfunds. My plan Icici nasdaq index fund - 4000/month sip. Ñippon power and infra fund- 6000/month Hdfc retirement savings fund-5000/month Quant small cap-5000/month Quant mid cap-5000/month Dsp nifty 50 eyal weight- 5000/month. I Classify as high risk invester (will not touch in next 10years).. is it distributed well enough. Would like to know any rebalancing suggestion..

Ans: You're on the right track with your investment plan! As a Certified Financial Planner, your allocation seems well-diversified. However, ensure you regularly review your portfolio to maintain the desired asset allocation.

Given your high-risk appetite and long investment horizon, your choices align well. Rebalancing annually or semi-annually can help keep your portfolio in line with your goals and risk tolerance. Consider adjusting allocations based on market performance and changes in your financial situation.

Remember, patience is key in investing, especially with a long-term perspective like yours. Stay focused on your goals and avoid reacting to short-term market fluctuations. Keep up the good work, and your disciplined approach will likely yield fruitful results over time!
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7336 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 09, 2024

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I want to invest in mutual funds. I am 28 and currently ready to invest 30k/month in mfunds. My plan Icici nasdaq index fund - 4000/month sip. Ñippon power and infra fund- 6000/month Hdfc retirement savings fund-5000/month Quant small cap-5000/month Quant mid cap-5000/month Dsp nifty 50 eyal weight- 5000/month. I Classify as high risk invester (will not touch in next 10years).. is it distributed will enough. Would like to know any rebalancing suggestion..
Ans: It's great to see your enthusiasm for investing at such a young age! Your selection of mutual funds reflects a high-risk appetite, which aligns with your long-term investment horizon of 10 years.

Diversification is essential in managing risk, and your portfolio covers various segments including international exposure, power & infrastructure, retirement savings, and small & mid-cap funds. This diversity can help mitigate the impact of volatility in any single sector or market segment.

As a high-risk investor with a long-term perspective, your portfolio appears well-distributed across different asset classes and market segments. However, it's crucial to periodically review your portfolio's performance and make necessary adjustments to maintain alignment with your investment goals and risk tolerance.

Rebalancing your portfolio involves periodically realigning your asset allocation to ensure it remains in line with your risk profile and investment objectives. Given your high-risk tolerance and long investment horizon, you may consider rebalancing annually or semi-annually to maintain the desired asset allocation.

During the rebalancing process, assess the performance of each fund relative to its peers and benchmarks. If any fund significantly deviates from your expectations or exhibits underperformance, consider reallocating funds to more promising opportunities within your portfolio.

Additionally, keep an eye on changes in market conditions, economic outlook, and regulatory developments that may impact your investment strategy. Staying informed and adaptable is key to navigating the dynamic landscape of financial markets effectively.

Remember, while high-risk investments have the potential for higher returns, they also come with increased volatility and uncertainty. Stay focused on your long-term goals, and avoid making impulsive decisions based on short-term market fluctuations.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7336 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Aug 13, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 24, 2024Hindi
Money
Hello Guru’s. I am a NRI/OCI and invested in Mutual fund for long term (retirement) and children future. Currently my MF (via SIP) portfolio is around 22 lakhs with 70 thousand SIPs each month for below. Please suggest is this a good distribution, or what other funds I can invest. My target is to build portfolio to 1Cr to fund my retirement and another 1 Cr for my kids future in 5 years. Are there any tax obligation as I do not reside in India for tax purpose and earn overseas. SIP HDFC Multi Cap Reg - 3.5 l (10K per month) Parag Flexi cap reg - 3.22 l (10k per month) SBI Equity Hybrid - 3.08 l (10k per month) Axis Bluechip - 3.07 l (10K per month) ICIC Pru Balance advantage - 2.97 l (10K per month) Canara Robeco – 95K (5k per month) UTI Focus- 92K (5k per month) WhiteOak Capital Large Cap – 92k (5k per month) Non SIP SBI Large and Mid Cap Fund – 1.5 l UTI small cap 72k Motilal Oswal 28k Axis Midcap 26k ICICI Corporate bond 23k ICIC Medum Term bond -23k
Ans: Assessment of Your Current Portfolio
You have a well-diversified portfolio, with Rs 22 lakhs invested through SIPs. Your monthly SIP contribution is Rs 70,000, which is commendable. Your target is to build a corpus of Rs 1 crore each for retirement and your children’s future within 5 years. Let’s break down your portfolio and see if it aligns with your goals.

Analysis of Your SIP Investments
Your SIP investments are spread across various fund categories like multi-cap, flexi-cap, hybrid, blue-chip, and balanced advantage. This diversification is good as it helps in managing risk. However, let’s evaluate each category:

Multi-Cap and Flexi-Cap Funds: These funds provide flexibility in investing across large, mid, and small-cap stocks. They can offer good growth over time. However, it's crucial to monitor their performance regularly.

Equity Hybrid Funds: These funds balance equity and debt, offering moderate risk and steady returns. They can be a good option for long-term goals like retirement.

Blue-Chip Funds: These funds invest in well-established companies. They are relatively safer but may offer moderate returns compared to mid or small-cap funds.

Balanced Advantage Funds: These funds dynamically allocate between equity and debt based on market conditions. They can help in reducing risk but might not offer the highest returns.

Large-Cap Funds: These funds are stable and invest in top-tier companies. They are suitable for conservative investors seeking steady growth.

Considerations for Non-SIP Investments
Your non-SIP investments are spread across various funds, including large and mid-cap, small-cap, and corporate bond funds. Here’s a brief evaluation:

Large and Mid-Cap Funds: These funds can offer a balanced approach with moderate risk and growth potential.

Small-Cap Funds: These are high-risk, high-reward funds. They can boost your portfolio’s returns but should be carefully monitored.

Bond Funds: These funds are less volatile and provide stability. However, their returns are generally lower than equity funds. They are useful for preserving capital and generating regular income.

Recommendations for Achieving Your Financial Goals
To reach your goal of Rs 1 crore each for retirement and your children’s future in 5 years, you may need to make some adjustments:

Focus on High-Growth Funds: You have a good mix of funds, but consider allocating more to high-growth funds like mid-cap or small-cap funds. These funds can potentially offer higher returns over the next 5 years.

Review Balanced and Hybrid Funds: These funds provide stability but may not offer the aggressive growth you need to reach your target. You might want to reduce your allocation to these funds and increase your exposure to equity funds with higher growth potential.

Increase SIP Contributions: If possible, increase your SIP contributions. Even a small increase can significantly impact your portfolio’s growth over time.

Regular Portfolio Review: It’s essential to review your portfolio regularly with a Certified Financial Planner. This will help you stay on track and make necessary adjustments as needed.

Tax Implications for NRIs
As an NRI/OCI, you have specific tax obligations in India:

Tax on Capital Gains: Long-term capital gains (LTCG) on equity funds held for more than 1 year are taxed at 12.5% for gains above Rs 1.25 lakh. Short-term capital gains (STCG) on equity funds held for less than 1 year are taxed at 20%. For debt funds, CG is taxed according to your income slab.

Tax Deduction at Source (TDS): In India, TDS is applicable on capital gains for NRIs. For equity funds, TDS is 20% on STCG and 12.5% on LTCG. For debt funds, TDS is 30% on CG.

Double Taxation Avoidance Agreement (DTAA): If your country of residence has a DTAA with India, you may be able to claim a tax credit for taxes paid in India.

It’s advisable to consult with a tax advisor familiar with NRI taxation to ensure compliance and optimise your tax liability.

Finally
You have made commendable progress towards building your financial future. Your current portfolio is well-diversified, but to achieve your ambitious goals, consider focusing more on high-growth funds and regularly reviewing your investments. By making these adjustments and staying disciplined in your investment approach, you can reach your target of Rs 1 crore each for retirement and your children’s future.

Remember to keep an eye on tax implications as an NRI, and seek guidance from a Certified Financial Planner to ensure your investments are aligned with your long-term goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

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Milind

Milind Vadjikar  |800 Answers  |Ask -

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Sep 29, 2024

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Hi Milind I am 46 years old and living in Germany, I am planning to start investing in MFs from this month onwards. My question to you is that how to distribute 100k INR per month? Should i go for 10k INR per fund per month? Or 10 funds are too much diversification? These are the funds suggested by my Advisor 1 ICICI PRUDENTIAL LARGE AND MID CAP FUND - GROWTH 2 Nippon India Multi Cap Fund - Growth Plan 3 HDFC Banking and Financial Services Fund - Regular Growth 4 AXIS Mid Cap Fund - Regular Growth Plan 5 ICICI Prudential Nifty Next 50 Index Fund - Growth 6 ICICI Prudential Multi Asset Fund - Growth 7 ICICI Prudential Manufacturing Fund Regular Plan Growth 8 Kotak Flexi Cup Fund - Growth 9 Nippon India Growth Fund - Growth Plan 10 Nippon India Small Cap Fund - Growth What is your take on both questions? Please let me know Rajesh
Ans: Hello;

I am presuming that this investment is from long term perspective of 10 years+ horizon and you are comfortable with high risk exposure.

Equal weight allocation to 10 funds is avoidable.

I propose to you 5 funds with the proportionate allocation as given:

1. PPFAS flexicap fund: 25%

2. Mirae Asset Large and Midcap fund: 25%

3. Nippon India Small cap fund: 20%

4. HDFC balanced advantage fund: 15%

5. ICICI Pru Multi asset allocation fund: 15%

Funds have been recommended based on their long term returns in their respective category.

Happy Investing!!

You may follow us on X at @mars_invest for updates.

*Investments in mutual funds are subject to market risks. Please read all scheme related documents carefully before investing.

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7336 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Oct 28, 2024

Money
Sir i am investing in follwing manner in mutual funds please suggest me in this regard 1 ICICI blue chip direct growth for Rs 1000 2 ICICI nifty fifty index fund for RS 1000 3 Nippon india multy cap for Rs 1000 4 Nippon india small cap for Rs 1000 5 Quant small cap for RS 1000 6 motilal oswal mid cap for Rs 1000 7 hdfc oppurtunities mid cap for Rs1000 8 quant mid cap for Rs 1000 9 parag parik flexi cap for Rs2000 10 hdfc flexi cap for Rs 2000 11 JM flexi cap for rs 2000 12 Quant flexi cap for Rs 2000 My invsestment horizon s Is 10 to 12 years , Please suggest any rebalancing is required
Ans: You've built a diversified mutual fund portfolio across multiple categories and fund houses, which is commendable. Let’s review this structure to ensure it aligns with your goals and maximises growth potential for your 10-12 year horizon.

In the following suggestions, I’ll focus on streamlining your portfolio for balanced growth, minimising overlap, and optimising returns.

Review of Current Portfolio Structure
Your portfolio spans several categories, including large-cap, index, mid-cap, small-cap, and flexi-cap funds. While this diversification reduces risk, it may also lead to redundancy and portfolio overlap. Let’s evaluate each category:

Large-Cap: Provides stability and moderate growth.

Mid-Cap and Small-Cap: Offers higher growth potential but comes with more volatility.

Flexi-Cap: Adds flexibility, allowing fund managers to adjust holdings based on market conditions.

Index Fund: Index funds often carry lower costs but may underperform actively managed funds over time.

Analysis of Each Fund Category and Suggested Adjustments
1. Large-Cap Funds
Current Investment: Rs 1,000 in ICICI Bluechip Fund (Direct Growth).

Assessment: A large-cap fund adds stability to the portfolio, which is beneficial.

Suggested Action: Continue with this allocation, as large-cap funds provide balanced growth and less volatility.

2. Index Fund
Current Investment: Rs 1,000 in ICICI Nifty Fifty Index Fund.

Assessment: Index funds may offer stable returns but lack active fund management benefits. Actively managed funds typically outperform index funds in the long run, especially for a 10-12 year horizon.

Suggested Action: Consider switching this allocation to an actively managed large-cap or flexi-cap fund. Actively managed funds provide potential for enhanced returns with the support of skilled fund managers.

3. Mid-Cap Funds
Current Investment: Rs 3,000 (split across Motilal Oswal Mid Cap, HDFC Opportunities Mid Cap, and Quant Mid Cap).

Assessment: While mid-cap funds offer growth, holding three funds within the same category may create overlap. Mid-cap funds can be volatile but generally perform well in the long term.

Suggested Action: Consider consolidating to two funds within this category. Reducing overlap allows for easier tracking and reduces redundant exposure. Continue with HDFC Opportunities and one other mid-cap fund of your choice.

4. Small-Cap Funds
Current Investment: Rs 2,000 (Rs 1,000 each in Nippon India Small Cap and Quant Small Cap).

Assessment: Small-cap funds have high growth potential but also high risk. Limiting to one small-cap fund can manage risk more effectively, especially as the portfolio already has mid-cap exposure.

Suggested Action: Consolidate to one small-cap fund. Select the fund that has consistently performed well and aligns with your risk tolerance.

5. Flexi-Cap Funds
Current Investment: Rs 8,000 (allocated across Parag Parikh Flexi Cap, HDFC Flexi Cap, JM Flexi Cap, and Quant Flexi Cap).

Assessment: Flexi-cap funds are a good choice for your investment horizon, as they allow fund managers to adjust between large-, mid-, and small-cap stocks. However, having four funds in this category may lead to redundancy.

Suggested Action: Narrow down to two or three flexi-cap funds. This streamlines your portfolio and reduces tracking complexity.

Recommended Portfolio Structure for a Balanced, Growth-Oriented Approach
After the above adjustments, here’s a suggested rebalancing strategy:

Large-Cap Funds: Maintain your allocation in ICICI Bluechip. Large-cap stability is crucial for a well-rounded portfolio.

Flexi-Cap Funds: Retain Parag Parikh Flexi Cap and one or two others of your choice. Flexi-caps should form a significant portion, as they offer the flexibility to adjust across market caps.

Mid-Cap Funds: Retain two mid-cap funds for growth potential. HDFC Opportunities Mid Cap and one other mid-cap fund should be sufficient.

Small-Cap Funds: Retain one small-cap fund for high growth potential. Select the one that best suits your risk tolerance.

Benefits of This Streamlined Approach
A simplified portfolio offers multiple benefits for long-term wealth creation:

Reduced Overlap: Minimising fund overlap reduces redundant exposure within the same asset class. This makes your portfolio more efficient.

Enhanced Returns: Actively managed funds in flexi-cap and large-cap categories are likely to yield better returns over time than index funds.

Easier Management: Fewer funds mean easier tracking and management. A simplified portfolio enables regular reviews without added complexity.

Taxation Awareness for Mutual Funds
Understanding taxation helps in planning withdrawals and tax savings effectively.

Equity Mutual Funds: Long-term capital gains (LTCG) over Rs 1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5%. Short-term capital gains (STCG) are taxed at 20%.

Debt Mutual Funds: Both LTCG and STCG are taxed as per your income tax slab, which can impact post-tax returns.

Tax-Efficient Withdrawals: Plan withdrawals strategically to minimise taxes and maximise returns. A Certified Financial Planner can guide on the tax-efficient withdrawal approach.

Final Insights
Your diversified portfolio shows a good approach towards growth. With a few adjustments, it can become more streamlined and focused on high returns. Aim for a balance of stability and growth with carefully chosen large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap funds.

A well-maintained portfolio with annual reviews, consolidation, and tax-aware strategies will bring you closer to achieving your financial goals.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |475 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

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I am talking to a boy for arranged marriage. He said me that come to Bangalore you will have a good career. But he is also asking me if I can leave my job if I have got some responsibility in life to which I said yes. Then I said that I prefer own cooked food over cook cooked food. Then he asked me if I can cook for 2 people to which I said that I will have to look if I can do. He seems to be supportive when he talks on phone. Is he brain washing me, should I say yes or no. Is he a red flag. What should I do.
Ans: Dear Moumita,
It isn't fair to label someone as a red flag over a few days of conversation; seeing women take up responsibilities of home and disregard their own career or needs might be what he has seen growing up and it's not him being a red flag intentionally. A lot has to do with upbringing. What I can suggest with confidence is that if you love having your own job, and your own financial independence then please be vocal about it. Just because he is asking you to leave your job doesn't mean you have to do it- you are only in the talking phase. You are not married yet. You have ample time to rethink your choice. Cooking and housework shouldn’t just be your responsibility, just like earning and providing shouldn’t only be his. It’s about sharing the load equally. Having said that, I should also mention that every relationship is different, and each couple finds their own way of balancing things. Ultimately, everything boils down to what you are comfortable with- please take some time to figure that out and only then decide whether or not to take this relationship ahead.

Hope this helps.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |447 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 25, 2024
Relationship
Hi, My GF of last 2.5 years gets attracted to men very often and shares her feelings with me as well. She developed feelings for a guy a year back and he kissed her once when they were drunk. She said she didn't had time to react and Later they had a talk, she informed me that they chose to be friends, she doesn't seems to in talking terms any more with him. She talks to lot of male friends who she claims are from LGBTQ community which I doubt whether all are or not. I always say she has the freedom to move on any given day but she can't cheat but she doesn't think getting attracted to multiple men and acting on it as cheating . She says, she is free spirited and she is ok even if I visit a prostitute house. She is in her early 30s. She had a crush another guy on insta and said she will definitely try him if he wasn't lot younger than her but later said he is her best friend and she is in constant touch. Lately, she says vibe doesn't match and have problem saying I am her BF. I tried to move on from relationship 2-3 times because of her above traits and now stopped talking since few days. She had both mental and medical issues. Can I trust her and will she have any mental issues again?
Ans: While it’s commendable that she is honest about her feelings and gives you the freedom to make your choices, it’s equally important to consider whether her values and actions align with what you need in a partner. Relationships thrive when there’s mutual respect, understanding, and agreement on boundaries. If her actions or mindset make you feel undervalued or emotionally unsafe, it’s crucial to reflect on whether this relationship is truly serving your well-being.

The fact that you’ve tried to move on multiple times suggests that there is a deeper discomfort within you about the dynamics between you two. Trust is not just about fidelity; it’s about emotional safety, reliability, and mutual respect. If her behavior consistently makes you question her commitment or your place in her life, that erosion of trust can become difficult to rebuild.

As for her mental and medical challenges, it’s important to approach those with empathy, but also with a clear understanding that you cannot "fix" or "heal" someone unless they are actively seeking and working toward their own well-being. If she has not addressed her mental health or continues behaviors that affect the relationship without taking responsibility, it can lead to ongoing strain for you. Her mental health challenges are not excuses for harmful behavior, nor should they become reasons for you to sacrifice your own emotional health.

You’ve already shown patience and willingness to work through these challenges, but the repeated cycles of doubt and frustration may be a sign that the relationship is taking more from you than it’s giving. Ask yourself if you feel supported, valued, and emotionally safe in this partnership. Relationships should bring out the best in you and your partner, not leave you questioning your worth or constantly trying to accommodate behavior that feels unfair.

Taking a step back, as you’ve done now, can give you the clarity to evaluate what you truly want and need in a relationship. If trust feels irreparably broken or if her behaviors and values are fundamentally misaligned with yours, it may be time to consider whether staying in this relationship is the healthiest choice for you. You deserve a partner who respects your boundaries and builds a connection based on mutual trust and understanding.

If you decide to stay, open communication and possibly couples’ therapy could help bridge the gaps. If you choose to move on, trust that this decision is about prioritizing your well-being and finding a relationship that aligns with your values and needs. Either way, your happiness and emotional health should come first.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |447 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 23, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi Anu, My husband is in living relationship with another lady since April in another country. At the same time, he acused me as selfish for doing my PhD in my native country and put me in mental trauma by verbally accusing.Also,he was very clever, he step by step get rid of all the things related to our relationship and took bank all the bank fund in my name.After that he blocked me.I had doubts on his extra marital and asked him 1000 times. But he simply insulted and blocked me from all social media eventually. After finishing my PhD pre submission, when i went to meet him, in his place. I found him, shifted to another apartment. But i somehow, found it and there i came to knew, he is staying with a lady there for past months. I broke down and informed all his friends. Now he is threatening me for signing mutual consent, otherwise he will make false allegations and tore my good name..Already he partially did that. When I talked to his friends, he was crooked enough to tell them, i am a psycho, ademant, career oriented lady. I told him i am ready to give him mutual divorce after once we met in person. I want to ask him why he cheated me.but he is not ready to meet, he is asking me to talk to his advocate. What shall I do now?
Ans: While it’s natural to want answers and closure, sometimes people who betray us in such profound ways refuse to provide the accountability we seek. Closure doesn’t always come from the other person. It can come from recognizing that their actions stem from their own flaws and failings, not because of anything lacking in you. It can come from choosing to let go of the need for explanations and focusing instead on rebuilding your own sense of peace and purpose.

You’ve already demonstrated incredible strength by standing up to him and exposing the truth to his friends. That takes courage. But this is also a time to lean into your inner resilience and ensure you’re supported by professionals who can guide you through the legal and emotional complexities. Speaking with a family lawyer who understands the nuances of your situation will help you feel empowered to navigate his threats and protect your rights. At the same time, connecting with a counselor or therapist can offer a safe space to process your emotions and begin to heal from this trauma.

It’s okay to grieve the relationship and the betrayal. It’s okay to feel anger, sadness, or even numbness at times. These emotions are all part of the process of moving forward. Allow yourself to feel them without judgment, but also remind yourself that this pain is temporary and does not define you. You are more than what has been done to you.

When you feel ready, try to shift your focus away from him and his actions and toward your own well-being and future. You’ve worked so hard on your PhD and have built a life full of potential and possibility. This chapter doesn’t have to define the rest of your story. You are capable of creating a life that is free from manipulation and filled with self-respect, joy, and the kind of peace that comes from living authentically.

Lean on the people who believe in you, who see your value, and who can remind you of your strength when you feel unsure. Remember, you don’t have to handle this alone. Whether it’s through professional guidance or emotional support from trusted loved ones, there are paths forward that will help you rise above this situation. You deserve a life where your worth is honored, your boundaries are respected, and your happiness takes center stage.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |447 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 23, 2024Hindi
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Hello, I am a 35-year woman from Manali, divorced for three years now. My family is constantly pushing me to get remarried, saying it’s ‘for my own good.’ But honestly, I don’t feel the need for marriage again. I’m financially stable, have great friends, and I genuinely enjoy my independence. Despite explaining this to my family multiple times, they keep bringing up alliances and even guilt-trip me, saying things like, ‘Who will take care of you when you’re older?’ or ‘What will society think?’ I’m exhausted from these arguments and feel like I’m being cornered into something I don’t want. How do I stand firm in my decision while maintaining my relationship with my family? How do I help them understand that being single is a choice, not a problem to fix?
Ans: When speaking to your family, try to approach the conversation from a place of empathy. Acknowledge their intentions by telling them you understand their worries and that they want what they believe is best for you. Express gratitude for their care—it often helps diffuse their defensiveness. However, it’s equally important to gently but firmly assert that your happiness is not dependent on remarriage. Share how content you are with your current life, emphasizing your financial stability, fulfilling friendships, and personal growth.

Sometimes families struggle to accept choices that diverge from traditional norms, often driven by fears about societal perceptions or imagined futures. Reassure them that your decision is rooted in thoughtful consideration and self-awareness, and that you’ve built a life that brings you peace and joy. If they bring up concerns like loneliness or old age, you can address these by expressing how you’ve cultivated strong support systems and how your independence equips you to face challenges.

It might also help to set gentle boundaries. For instance, you could say, “I appreciate that you care for me, but I’d like our time together to focus on enjoying each other’s company instead of discussing remarriage.” It’s okay to redirect conversations or take a break from them when you feel cornered.

Lastly, remember that changing deeply ingrained beliefs takes time. Your family might not immediately understand your perspective, but consistency and calm communication will help over time. It’s not your responsibility to conform to their expectations if doing so diminishes your sense of self. By staying true to your values while showing compassion for their concerns, you’re paving the way for mutual respect and understanding.

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Dr Nandita

Dr Nandita Palshetkar  |36 Answers  |Ask -

Gynaecologist, IVF expert - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 19, 2024Hindi
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Health
Dr, I’m 35 years old from Jamnagar, and my husband and I have been trying for a baby for the past year, but nothing seems to be working. I recently visited a fertility clinic in neighborhood , and after a few tests, they mentioned that I might have blocked fallopian tubes. The gynaec also talked about possible treatments like surgery or IVF, but I’m really confused and worried. Should I go for a laparoscopy to check the severity, or are there any other alternatives that could help me? I’m really anxious and just want to understand my options better before making any decisions.
Ans: History noted.
Considering your age 35 years, trying to conceive since, one year and few test done, one of which suggest possibility of tubal blockage, there are various modalities of treatment.
Firstly, you can do laparoscopy to note the severity if blockage and do tubal cannulation.
Tubal cannulation is often the first line of treatment for patients with blocked fallopian tubes because it's a non-invasive procedure that's widely available.
Tubal cannulation is a procedure that can unblock fallopian tubes and is highly successful for proximal tubal blockages, with a success rate of over 80%. However, it may not be successful for all patients and is not recommended for distal tubal occlusions.
This procedure if successful can avoid IVF procedure. Laparoscopy has…
Yes, before ivf get all your blood test, ecg, 2 D echo, xray chest to rule out any illness
Same with your husband to get semen analysis and viral markers with blood sugars to be done.

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Dr Nandita

Dr Nandita Palshetkar  |36 Answers  |Ask -

Gynaecologist, IVF expert - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 17, 2024Hindi
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Health
Hello Doctor, I’m in my late 20s, and lately, I’ve been feeling like something’s off with my body. My periods either show up way too early, sometimes not at all for months. And, I’ve been putting on weight even though I haven’t changed my diet or exercise routine. My skin has also turned into a battlefield with acne all over, which I never used to have before. My cousin, who’s around my age, just found out she has PCOS, and her mom (my aunt) went through something similar when she was younger. Now, I’m scared because I’ve been hearing all these horror stories about how it can affect fertility, and I’m not even married yet. What if it’s a family thing and I end up facing the same problems? My mom says, ‘Don’t worry, it’ll be fine,’ but I can’t stop thinking about it. Should I see a gynecologist, or is there another kind of doctor I should be visiting? What tests should I do to get to the bottom of this before it gets worse? Honestly, I’m feeling overwhelmed and just want to know what’s going on before it’s too late.
Ans: Hello, noted your concerns
You are in late 20’s with irregular periods, acne, weight gain,
You are undergoing hormonal imbalance
We need to do certain blood test like
CBC, tsh prolactin fasting insulin level
Hba1c, testosterone level
DHEA, LH FSH ESTRADIOL LEVEL
Amd AMH level to check for fertility level
Usg pelvis to rule out
Pcos
The mainstay treatment. For pcos is lifestyle changes
1) Daily exercise, walks. Zumba, running
2) Good nutritious food with proteins, vitamins, minerals, low carbs and fats
3) good adequate sleep 7 to 8 hours
4) stress management: yoga meditation, breathing exercise
5) supplements to controls effects of pcos
6) low dose OC PILLS TO regularize the cycles

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