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Newbie to Gold ETF: Should I Invest or Not?

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7410 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Nov 01, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Sonal Question by Sonal on Oct 24, 2024Hindi
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I want to invest in gold etf. But i have zero knowledge about that. Sir can you help me.

Ans: Gold is a popular investment option, often considered a safe-haven asset. Investing in Gold ETFs (Exchange Traded Funds) is a modern, convenient way to gain exposure to gold without the need to hold physical gold. Let me walk you through some essential insights to make your gold ETF investment journey clearer and help you make informed decisions.

What is a Gold ETF?
Gold ETFs are funds that track the price of physical gold. They are traded on stock exchanges, similar to shares. When you invest in a gold ETF, you essentially buy units that reflect the price of physical gold.

Key Points About Gold ETFs:

Each unit typically represents one gram of gold.
They offer easy buying and selling on the stock exchange.
Since you don't own physical gold, there are no storage concerns.
Prices of gold ETFs are transparent and aligned with the actual gold market price.
Advantages of Gold ETFs
Gold ETFs offer several advantages over physical gold. Here are the top benefits:

Liquidity: They are easy to buy and sell on the stock exchange during market hours. You can transact them like any other equity.

Purity: Gold ETFs represent pure gold; you don't need to worry about impurities.

Storage and Safety: You avoid storage-related risks, as gold ETFs are held in electronic form.

Tax Efficiency: Gold ETFs are more tax-efficient than physical gold. Holding them long-term (over three years) reduces your tax burden due to indexation benefits.

Disadvantages of Index Funds Over Actively Managed Funds
While ETFs might look appealing, especially to track assets like gold, index funds (including gold index funds) have notable disadvantages when compared to actively managed funds:

Limited Growth Potential: Index funds only mirror market movements and cannot outperform the market.

Lack of Professional Management: Index funds lack active fund managers, which may limit flexibility to seize potential opportunities.

Risks in Downturns: In market downturns, index funds cannot adapt, often leading to limited downside protection.

For a diversified portfolio, actively managed funds may be a better choice. They offer expertise and flexibility, which can enhance returns and reduce risks.

How to Invest in Gold ETFs
Investing in gold ETFs is easy and requires only a few simple steps:

Open a Demat and Trading Account: You need these accounts to invest in ETFs. Most banks and brokers offer easy options to open them.

Place an Order During Market Hours: Buy gold ETFs like you would buy a stock. The units will reflect in your Demat account.

Monitor and Track Performance: Gold prices fluctuate, so tracking the performance helps make informed buy and sell decisions.

How Much to Invest in Gold ETFs?
Investing in gold requires a balanced approach. Experts often recommend keeping 5-10% of your portfolio in gold or gold-related assets. Gold performs well during economic uncertainties, providing stability to your portfolio. However, it doesn’t generate interest or dividends, so keeping a limited allocation is usually beneficial.

Final Insights
Gold ETFs offer a convenient, safe way to invest in gold. They provide liquidity, transparency, and are free from storage concerns. By maintaining a balanced allocation, you can enjoy the benefits of gold while focusing on long-term wealth creation.

Investing in gold ETFs can be a prudent choice for portfolio diversification, especially when done strategically.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7410 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 23, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 27, 2024Hindi
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Hi Samrat. Tata Gold ETF is priced at 6.2 today. I want to invest at least 10/20 units on every trading day for an investment horizon of 15-20 yrs. I am OK with moderate to high risks as my horizon is longer. Pls suggest.
Ans: Investing in Gold ETFs is a strategic choice, especially for a long-term horizon like 15-20 years. It’s crucial to assess and understand the implications of this investment route. I appreciate your diligence in planning for a substantial investment period, showing foresight and financial acumen.

Understanding Gold ETFs
Gold ETFs track the price of gold and are traded on stock exchanges. They offer exposure to gold without the need to hold physical gold. This investment is liquid, secure, and transparent. The performance of Gold ETFs depends on gold prices, which can be influenced by various factors.

Investment Strategy
Your plan to invest 10-20 units daily is commendable. This approach leverages rupee cost averaging, minimizing the impact of market volatility. It ensures a disciplined investment habit, spreading the risk over a long period. Consistent investment in Gold ETFs can potentially yield significant returns over time.

Risk and Reward
Gold, traditionally considered a safe-haven asset, can be volatile in the short term. Over a longer horizon, gold often performs well, particularly during economic downturns. Your willingness to take moderate to high risks aligns well with the nature of Gold ETFs. Understanding the risks and rewards is vital for making informed decisions.

Benefits of Actively Managed Funds
While Gold ETFs have their advantages, actively managed funds should not be overlooked. These funds are managed by professional fund managers who actively make investment decisions. They aim to outperform the market, potentially offering higher returns compared to passive funds like ETFs.

Disadvantages of Index Funds
Index funds passively track market indices. They don’t aim to outperform the market, just mirror its performance. This approach may limit potential returns. Actively managed funds, on the other hand, strive to capitalize on market opportunities, potentially providing superior returns.

Disadvantages of Direct Funds
Direct funds allow investors to buy directly from fund houses, bypassing intermediaries. However, they require more active management and understanding of market dynamics. Investing through a certified financial planner (CFP) ensures professional management, aligning investments with your financial goals.

Benefits of Regular Funds
Regular funds, managed through Mutual Fund Distributors (MFDs) with CFP credentials, offer expert advice and management. This professional guidance is crucial for optimizing your investment strategy, especially over a long horizon. They help navigate market complexities, ensuring your investments are well-aligned with your financial objectives.

Long-Term Horizon
A long-term horizon allows for the compounding effect to work its magic. Investing in Gold ETFs and other actively managed funds for 15-20 years can potentially result in significant wealth accumulation. Patience and consistency are key in this journey.

Portfolio Diversification
While Gold ETFs are a valuable addition to your portfolio, diversification is essential. Consider a mix of equities, debt instruments, and gold to balance risk and reward. Diversifying your investments helps in managing risks and achieving more stable returns.

Importance of Professional Guidance
Engaging with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) ensures your investment strategy is robust and tailored to your goals. A CFP provides expert insights, helping you make informed decisions. Their professional guidance is invaluable in navigating the complexities of the financial markets.

Conclusion
Investing in Gold ETFs with a disciplined approach over a long period is a sound strategy. However, consider the benefits of actively managed funds and professional guidance. Diversifying your portfolio and seeking expert advice can enhance your investment journey. I commend your commitment to a structured investment plan.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7410 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Aug 21, 2024

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Hello Sir, Are gold MF not a great idea? Or are there better ways in the market than MF to invest in gold like SGB, ETF, etc? Or is gold investments itself in our portfolio not recommended or not necessarily needed? Really helpful if we can get a general understanding on investment of commodities like gold, silver, etc. Thanks.
Ans: Gold Mutual Funds are an excellent way to invest in gold without the hassle of buying physical gold. They invest in gold ETFs, allowing you to benefit from gold's price movements. These funds are managed by professionals, which adds a layer of expertise to your investment. Gold MFs are convenient, as they don’t require a Demat account, making them accessible for most investors.

Advantages of Gold Mutual Funds

Professional Management: Experienced fund managers handle the investments.

Ease of Access: No need for a Demat account; you can invest directly through your bank or mutual fund distributor.

Diversification: Gold acts as a hedge against inflation and adds balance to your portfolio.

Why Choose Gold MFs Over Other Gold Investments?

Gold MFs offer the convenience of systematic investments through SIPs, which can help average out the cost. Unlike physical gold, there are no worries about storage or safety. While Sovereign Gold Bonds offer interest, Gold MFs provide liquidity and flexibility, which is crucial if you might need to redeem your investment quickly.

Final Thoughts

Gold Mutual Funds are a solid choice for adding gold to your portfolio. They offer a hassle-free, professionally managed way to invest in gold, balancing your portfolio and providing protection against market volatility. If you’re looking for a simple yet effective way to invest in gold, Gold Mutual Funds are the way to go.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7410 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 24, 2024

Money
Hello, Kindly suggest which gold ETFs to invest in.
Ans: Investing in Gold Funds: A Comprehensive Guide
Gold has always been a valuable and popular investment. People invest in gold to diversify portfolios, hedge against inflation, and preserve wealth. When it comes to investing in gold, many think of Gold ETFs (Exchange-Traded Funds). But there's a better option: Gold Funds.

Let's explore why gold funds are a better choice and understand the nuances of investing in them.

Understanding Gold Funds
Gold funds are mutual funds that invest in gold-related assets.

These funds offer a simpler and more flexible way to invest in gold without worrying about storage or security.

No Impact Cost
One of the main advantages of gold funds is that they don't have an impact cost. Impact cost refers to the cost of buying and selling assets in the market, which can affect the overall returns. Gold ETFs, being traded on exchanges, are subject to this cost. Gold funds, on the other hand, are not, as they deal directly with the fund house.

Liquidity and Flexibility
Gold funds offer high liquidity. You can buy or sell units of the fund at any time without worrying about market conditions. This flexibility is not available with physical gold investments. It allows investors to take advantage of market movements and manage their investment strategy more effectively.

Systematic Investment Plans (SIPs)
One of the most significant benefits of gold funds is the ability to invest through Systematic Investment Plans (SIPs). SIPs allow you to invest a fixed amount regularly, making it easier to accumulate gold over time. This disciplined approach helps in averaging the purchase cost and mitigating the impact of market volatility.

Asset Allocation
Review the asset allocation strategy of the gold fund. A well-diversified portfolio with a mix of physical gold and gold-related securities can provide better risk-adjusted returns. Ensure the fund's asset allocation aligns with your investment goals.

Risk Factors
Every investment comes with its risks, and gold funds are no exception. Understand the risks associated with gold funds, such as market volatility, geopolitical factors, and currency fluctuations. Assess your risk tolerance before investing.

Investment Horizon
Your investment horizon plays a crucial role in choosing the right gold fund. If you have a long-term investment horizon, you can benefit from the compounding effect and potentially higher returns. Short-term investors should consider funds with lower volatility.

Comparing Gold Funds and Gold ETFs
To make an informed decision, it's essential to compare gold funds with Gold ETFs. This comparison will highlight the benefits and drawbacks of each option, helping you choose the best investment for your needs.

Cost of Investment
Gold ETFs involve brokerage fees, impact costs, and other transaction charges. These costs can eat into your returns. Gold funds, with their no-impact cost structure, offer a more cost-effective investment option.

Convenience
Gold funds are more convenient as they don't require a demat account or trading account. You can invest in gold funds through mutual fund distributors or directly with the fund house. This simplicity makes gold funds accessible to a broader audience.

Redemption Process
Redeeming Gold ETFs involves selling them on the stock exchange, which can be affected by market conditions and liquidity. Gold funds offer a smoother redemption process with direct transactions with the fund house, ensuring timely access to your money.


As a Certified Financial Planner, I understand the importance of aligning investments with your financial goals and risk tolerance. Investing in gold is not just about returns; it's about preserving wealth, ensuring financial security, and achieving peace of mind. I appreciate the trust you place in my guidance and aim to provide recommendations that meet your unique needs.


I commend you for taking the initiative to explore investment options and make informed decisions. Investing in gold funds shows your commitment to diversifying your portfolio and securing your financial future. It's a prudent choice that reflects your understanding of market dynamics and your willingness to explore smarter investment avenues.

Benefits of Investing Through an MFD with CFP Credential
Investing through a mutual fund distributor (MFD) with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) credential offers several advantages. These professionals provide personalized advice, helping you choose the right funds based on your financial goals, risk tolerance, and investment horizon. They also offer ongoing support and guidance, ensuring your investments stay on track.

Final Insights
Investing in gold funds is a smart choice for diversifying your portfolio, hedging against inflation, and ensuring financial security. Gold funds offer several advantages over Gold ETFs, including no impact cost and liquidity. By considering factors such as fund performance, fund manager expertise, expense ratio, asset allocation, and risk factors, you can make an informed investment decision.

Choosing gold funds through a mutual fund distributor with a Certified Financial Planner credential adds another layer of security and expertise to your investments. It ensures personalized advice and ongoing support, helping you achieve your financial goals.

Thank you for your proactive approach to managing your finances and your trust in my guidance. Investing in gold funds reflects your commitment to making informed and strategic investment decisions. It's a prudent step towards securing your financial future and achieving peace of mind.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

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Anu Krishna  |1424 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 03, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 02, 2025Hindi
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Hi Sir/Ma'am, I am here to know if there is a problem with my mind or body as I am having a strong sense of demotivation to work towards the upcoming exams. I had taken a 3 months study leave from my work for the upcoming exams to be held in January . The first month was excellent but the next was not good and last month was pathetic. For the past 2 months I have been trying to work hard sincerely but failed. I sat at the study table, but could not achieve my targets. I wrote the targets , but still failed to complete them. I tried watching self help videos and read self help books but nothing is helping me. Today, it is like my brain signals not to work towards any of my targets. I am a CA aspirant and I tried all these ways but nothing worked for me. My exams are in 9 days and my family is not ready to give me any more chances because this is my 7th attempt. Even if I talk about this problem with my family, they become extremely negative and say harsh words about my future. Since I do not have family or friends to talk about it , could you please provide me sincere help in this ?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Kindly work with someone who can get you out of this mindset and into a mindset that is not motivating but also inspiring. Right now what you face is lack of inspiration which is understandable given the many attempts. But you are aware that some professional exams are like this; so persevere...
If it makes sense, take a break from it all...Breaks can refresh the mind and also help you realign yourself back to your goal. But make sure it's a short break and not something that will get you to a place of procrastinating. The break is to help you slow down the mind so that you can bring yourself back to your goal and take necessary steps to achieve it.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7410 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 03, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 03, 2025Hindi
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I am 57 yrs , I have monthly income is 8.0 lakhs & want to retire at 60. I have 2.5 cr in MF and 50 lakhs in stock how much should I invest in MF & stocks
Ans: At 57, with a monthly income of Rs. 8 lakhs, you are in a strong financial position. You already have Rs. 2.5 crore in mutual funds and Rs. 50 lakhs in stocks. Retiring at 60 is achievable with proper planning. Let’s focus on enhancing your investments to secure a comfortable retirement.

Assessing Your Current Investments
Mutual Funds: Rs. 2.5 crore in mutual funds offers diversification and stability.

Stocks: Rs. 50 lakhs in stocks adds growth potential but comes with higher risk.

Retirement Target: Estimate your post-retirement expenses to calculate the required corpus. Include inflation-adjusted costs.

Recommended Mutual Fund Allocation
Increase SIP Contributions: With high income, raise your monthly SIPs in mutual funds.

Diversify Across Fund Categories: Allocate funds to large-cap, mid-cap, and hybrid funds. They balance risk and returns effectively.

Debt Mutual Funds: Add debt funds to maintain stability and liquidity in your portfolio.

Tax-Efficient Options: Choose equity-oriented hybrid funds for better post-tax returns.

Balancing Stock Investments
Reduce Exposure Gradually: Stocks can be volatile, especially closer to retirement. Shift some stock investments to mutual funds or safer options.

Invest in Quality Stocks: Retain investments in blue-chip or dividend-paying stocks for consistent returns.

Avoid Speculative Stocks: Focus on stable and established companies for reduced risk.

Tax Efficiency and Withdrawal Planning
Equity Fund Taxation: Long-term capital gains (LTCG) above Rs. 1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5%.

Debt Fund Taxation: Gains from debt funds are taxed as per your income slab.

Plan Withdrawals Wisely: Spread withdrawals over financial years to minimise tax liability.

Building a Retirement Corpus
Target Corpus: Calculate the required retirement corpus for the next 25–30 years.

Inflation-Protected Income: Invest in funds that offer inflation-beating returns for financial security.

Emergency Fund: Maintain an emergency fund covering at least two years of expenses.

Diversification and Risk Management
Asset Allocation: Maintain a 60:40 equity-to-debt ratio initially. Gradually reduce equity exposure closer to retirement.

Periodic Reviews: Review your portfolio semi-annually and rebalance as needed.

Risk Assessment: Avoid overexposure to volatile asset classes nearing retirement.

Planning for Healthcare and Contingencies
Health Insurance: Ensure you have adequate health insurance coverage for you and your family.

Contingency Funds: Allocate a portion of your portfolio to liquid assets for emergencies.

Minimise Unnecessary Risks: Avoid risky investments that could erode your wealth.

Final Insights
You are on the right track to achieve a secure retirement. Increase mutual fund SIPs, reduce stock exposure gradually, and maintain a balanced portfolio.

Focus on building an inflation-adjusted retirement corpus while ensuring tax efficiency. Periodic reviews and disciplined investing will help you achieve your financial goals.

Your high income and existing investments are commendable. With proper planning, you can enjoy a stress-free retirement.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7410 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 03, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 02, 2025Hindi
Money
Im 40 years old with a corpus of 2cr consisting of 50% equity funds and 50% of FDs, PPF , PF . Combined income of 2 lakh and have a 10 year old daughter.Doing SIP of 1lakh in equity funds and no loans. Is it possible to accumlate corpus of 10 cr within next 10 years ? What should be done additionally to achieve that goal?
Ans: Your existing corpus of Rs. 2 crore is a strong foundation. Splitting it equally between equity and fixed-income instruments ensures diversification. A monthly SIP of Rs. 1 lakh in equity funds is commendable, showing disciplined investing. With your current financial habits, you are well-positioned for wealth creation. However, achieving Rs. 10 crore in 10 years requires strategic adjustments and focused planning.

Evaluating the Rs. 10 Crore Target
To reach Rs. 10 crore in 10 years, your investments need to grow significantly. This goal demands higher annualised returns and enhanced contributions. Relying solely on current SIPs and portfolio returns may not suffice. Let’s identify steps to bridge the gap.

Optimising Your Equity Allocation
Increase SIP Contributions: With a combined income of Rs. 2 lakh and no loans, increasing SIPs is feasible. Incrementally raise your monthly SIP by Rs. 50,000 or more.

Choose Growth-Oriented Funds: Focus on funds with a proven track record in midcap and small-cap segments. These categories have the potential for higher returns over a 10-year horizon.

Monitor Fund Performance: Periodically review your equity funds. Replace underperforming schemes with actively managed funds showing consistent returns.

Leveraging Fixed-Income Investments
Enhance PF Contributions: If your PF contributions can increase through voluntary contributions, it will ensure stability while adding to long-term growth.

Review FDs: Fixed Deposits provide safety but may not match inflation-adjusted growth. Shift a portion to debt mutual funds for tax-efficient returns.

Continue PPF Investments: PPF is an excellent tax-free instrument. Ensure you maximise the Rs. 1.5 lakh annual limit.

Balancing Tax Efficiency
Equity Fund Taxation: Long-term capital gains (LTCG) above Rs. 1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5%. Plan withdrawals to minimise this tax impact.

Debt Fund Taxation: Gains from debt mutual funds are taxed as per your income tax slab. Select funds with low turnover to optimise post-tax returns.

Tax-Saving Opportunities: Invest in ELSS funds if you haven't exhausted the Rs. 1.5 lakh Section 80C limit.

Strategic Investment Adjustments
Goal-Linked Investments: Allocate investments specifically for this goal. Separate it from your child’s education or other financial goals.

Increase Equity Proportion: Consider a higher equity allocation, such as 70% equity and 30% fixed income. Equity delivers better inflation-adjusted returns over the long term.

Reinvest Returns: Do not withdraw returns. Reinvest them to compound the growth of your corpus.

Regular Reviews and Adjustments
Annual Financial Reviews: Assess progress toward your goal annually. Adjust contributions or allocations as needed.

Stay Updated: Keep track of changes in mutual fund performance, market trends, and tax regulations.

Seek Expertise: Engage with a Certified Financial Planner to tailor your strategy further.

Diversification and Risk Management
Balanced Portfolio: Ensure your portfolio is diversified across sectors and asset classes.

Emergency Fund: Maintain a separate emergency fund equal to six months’ expenses.

Risk Mitigation: Avoid overconcentration in a single asset class or fund category.

Child’s Education Planning
While focusing on Rs. 10 crore, don’t overlook your daughter’s education. Set aside a portion of your investments to meet this future expense.

Final Insights
Achieving Rs. 10 crore in 10 years is ambitious but achievable. With increased SIPs, strategic fund selection, and disciplined investing, you can reach your goal.

Reassess your portfolio annually and make necessary adjustments. Prioritise equity for higher returns and tax efficiency. Maintain focus and avoid unnecessary withdrawals.

Your financial habits and discipline are commendable. With focused efforts, you can build a significant corpus and secure your family’s future.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1424 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 02, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 01, 2025
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Hello ma'am, Meri age 30 sal ki hai aur meri wife 26 saal ki hai 3 saal pehle meri shadi hui aur humara ek 2 saal ka beta bhi hai, Bachcha hone ke baad me meri wife sex se bilkul dur chali gayi hai, Mahine dedh mahine me ek baar badi hi mushkil se sex kar pate hai, Aur us doran bhi jo sex karte time dono partners me feelings hoti hai, wo feelings us me aati hi nahi hai, Usko bas ye ek kaam lagta hai ke bas ho gaya ab tum mujhse dur ho jao, Aur ab ek nayi hi sharat rakh di hai unhone mere samne ghar ki hi koi baat hai jo wo sab janti hai uske bare me aur mujhse bolti hai ke wo wali baat tum apne muh se mujhe btao, kehti hai ke mujhe pta hai us baat per tumhara muh kabhi bhi nahi khulega , To ab tum mujhse dur hi raho. Main bohot jyada stress me chla Gaya hun. Ek hi bed per Sona per main unko touch bhi nahi kar sakta hu, touch karte hi mere haath ko dur fenk dete hai. Please suggest me?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Yeh kaunsi baat hai joh woh jaanti hai ke aap jaante ho par aap iske baare mein muh nahin kholenge? Yeh baat toh bilkul mere palle nahin pad rahi!
Aur rahi baat sex ki...bahut baar bacche ke aane ke baad ek Maa bacche ki parvarish mein itna vyast ho jaati hain ki thakaan se sex nahin kar paati ya karna nahin chati...ghar ke baaki kaamon mein bhi uljahkar thakaawat mehsoos karti hongi.
Unka haat bataakar kuch bojh halka ho jaayega unka toh shaayad woh aapki taraf dhyaan bhi de paayegi. Shaadi ke shuruwaat ke dinon ko waapas le aane ke piye aap dono ko aur isse phir se ek romance ka mahaul banega. Koshish kijiye...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

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Anu Krishna  |1424 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 02, 2025

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Anu Krishna  |1424 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 02, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 31, 2024Hindi
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after 11 years of courtship i married my boyfriend with parents permission after convincing them .We have been married for 1 year now and in this one year i saw many changes in him.he gives importance to his mother takes decisons without discussing with me but with his mother.To please his mother he talks about me like she dint do that particular thing.Now he went abroad for job and i am pregnant .I left my job and shifted to my parent's place.He doesnt even talk to me or message me.I only have to message him.If i tel any of my pregnancy complaints he either tells his mother or says i am overthinking.Now he said if I dont follow his house rule i better stay in my parents place only .I am so upset and devastated.What should I do
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
What according to you have caused these changes in him and that too after 11 years of courtship? Did any instance cause him to act differently than before? And were there no indications of him acting different during your courtship days?
Why I ask this is that it is difficult for anyone to pretend for 11 long years! He would have displayed his current behavior sometime in the past and maybe you simply decided to overlook it?
Courtship days and marriage days are vastly different and what seemed okay during the courtship time becomes an issue after marriage. If this is not the case, it's quite possible that some incident which was seemingly small became a huge issue in his head causing him to act different?
Now, why am I going into this so much is because most often we overlook reasons that can be worked on. So, do think hard on this...
It is also time to involve your parents who can talk to his mother and figure out why her son is acting all weird. Surely, your mother-in-law needs to know that her interference the way it is, is going to destroy her son's marriage. So, get your parents to talk to her. And in the meantime, as hard as it may seem, do take care of your health for yourself and your baby.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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